Man Meets...Pony?

by Jorge Nagorski

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Crossover, Human, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Romance
Length: 2863

This is the store about my life be turn upside down and being sent to Equestria to help them fight an unknown evil looming just over the horizon.

"I am a renown world leader. I served in the Royal Yuke Air Force (R.Y.A.F.), the Yuke Army, and the Yuketobonia Navy. And we will fight no matter the odds, no matter how many casualties, and no matter any doubt. We WILL prevail."
-Jorge B. Nagorski, Prime Minister

That was me saying that to all T.V. and radio broadcasters all over the world. I was THE man during that time.

Now I'm in a place called Equestria with magically talking ponies that need the help of true peacekeepers and soldiers from an unknown enemy looming just below the horizon.

Will Jorge ever get home? Will he live a normal life in Equestria? Or will he even find love in this peaceful land? Who knows for sure. But we'll find out soon enough.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-16 17:10:06 UTC

The Test Room, Worlds' Most Terrifying War Starts, and Equestria

The Test Room

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Date: Thursday, March 30, 2027

Location: Classified

Time: 20:38

"Prime minister, where are you at?" Nagasaki hollered into the prime ministers' study, which ironically was like a library.

"Row 32, subsection W, between numbers 552.0045-567.7836" Nagasaki heard a voice call back.

"Sir, you might want to come with me." Nagasaki said with a hint of excitement showing through his voice.

"What is it Nagasaki?" Jorge asked with a bit of his own curiosity and excitement when he walked out of the set of bookshelves he was between.

"It's about the weapon, sir" he stated his voice sounding like a a child getting a gift or present ten times better than the one he/she wanted, "it's done, it's finally done."

"Really, It's done? That fast?" Jorge asked unbelievably shell shocked.

"How long ago did we start?" Nagasaki asked with a little confusion

    "It's only been about thirty or so days." Jorge said thinking for second

"Wow, that long. It felt like three or four months." now it was Nagasaki's' turn to sound unsure.

"Trust me when I say it's been about a month." Jorge said with a hint of pride showing through his voice.

"But somehow it felt like it it was so long ago since we started." Nagasaki said sounding more and more unsure after each word.

"Your body was deprived of sleep for so many periods of time, that it makes you feel that its been longer than it has been" Jorge said sounding even more prideful than before.

"I guess you're right, sir." Nagasaki said feeling suddenly drowsy, very drowsy.

"Lets go Nagasaki before you find the perfect book to use as a pillow." they both shared a chuckle after they shared the memory when they were in high school and Nagasaki fell asleep while studying for the huge midterm in the library and then Jorge had a quick memory flash taking place a few weeks after, 'The Missile Crisis'.

They walked for about fifteen minutes until they reach a test room, more specifically Test Room 7

"Alright prime minister, take this suit and put it on, okay?" said a seemingly over happy Blaze walking towards him from the other side of the room carry the full body suit he was asked to put on.

"Okay." Jorge said, a little confused he had been ask to wear a suit that was meant to work in an outdoors area contaminated with high levels of radiation.

While Jorge was putting the suit on, he failed to notice the other four people in the observers' chair. They are as followed. Captain Okaneabwa of the Yuketobonian Armed Forces, 1st Lieutenant Nagasai, and 2nd Lieutenant Grimm with Major Matrix of the Royal Razgriez Demons of the Yuketobonian Air Force.

"Okay Nagasaki, set the weapon to full power." Blaze said as everyone else put on a suit similar to the one Jorge is wearing.

    "Weapon charging, sir." he called out.

    "Now bring in the test dummy." Blaze commanded

    But it wasn't a non-living-look-alike-dummy, no it was a living human being, it was the Man who tried to do an assassination job on Jorge.

"Weapon at full power." Nagasaki called back.

"Fire." Blaze commanded.

"Firin-" was all that was the last thing that was heard or said in that room.

The Passage Dedicated to The Five Men and One Woman in "The Room That Will Forever Live in Infamy".

An explosion, then darkness was all that was registered to all who were in that room, Test Room 7, a event of new infamy that is to live until the last of mankind dies, and many, many more years. Test Room 7, the room the four greatest heroes in the world die in and three of the worlds greatest minds also die in, one young man was in both of those categories.

Jorge Nagorski was that man.

-General Samuel J. Hartford

Third in Command to Jorge Nagorski

"All personnel report to Test Room 7 immediately, repeat, all personnel report to Test Room 7." a males voice sounded after the high priority alarm was activated. But it was too late, the men and woman in the room were gone forever from this dimension, but were in the next one over.

Worlds' Most Terrifying War Starts

*Flashback/Dream. Tuesday, June 3, 2023

Location: Yuketobonian Air Force Base Zulu (Y.A.F.B. Zulu).

Time: 11:04

"Vielen Dank Lieutenant Biliz."

"Gern geschehen Lieutenant General Nagorski."

"Na dann viel Spaß mit der Therapie erneut."

"Vielen Dank Herr Nagorski."

"Von mir aus gerne! Sehen uns später Herr Biliz."

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Jorge, Lieutenant Colonel at the time, was sleeping in his office chair at Y.A.F.B. Zulu when the Global Defense Alarm (G.D.A.) went off, awaking him from his deep slumber instantly as the 1st Lieutenant Matrix burst open Jorge's office doors.

"What's going on, Lieutenant?" Jorge asked as he was picking himself up off the floor from his recent fall.

"Missile picked up exiting the atmosphere and orbiting, sir." The 1st Lt. answered, sounding like he ran a marathon and a half.

"Where's its destination?" Jorge had finally risen off the floor to walk to the phone that was ringing.

"Phlysburg, Yuketobonia, sir." Jorge stop short of the phone and looked to the Lt. standing in the doorway.

"What?" Jorge's voice was filled with dread as he picked up the phone and looked at the caller ID to see it show his fathers name and location; Warren Nagorski III; Phlysburg, Yuketobonia.

"Jorge?" He heard his father's voice say over the phone.

"Dad, are you okay?" Jorge asked as he heard a few men talking and the sound of a car driving and turned to Matrix and mouth 'Call in a P.C.H to Phlysburg.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?" His father asked as he turned the volume on the radio off.

Jorge covered the phone's mic and asked Matrix, "ETA of strike?"

"Two minutes sir." Matrix said as he ran to the office phone on the other side of the room and punched in five numbers and said a few words to the other person on the line and hung up.

"P.C. Helo is waiting in Phlysburg now." Matrix said as he ran out of the room.

"Dad, you need to get to the MP outpost by the southeast highway, there with be a chopper waiting for you." Jorge said to his father.

"Whats going on Jorge?" His father asked when he heard the dread and fear in his son's voice.

"Missiles have been launched and their destination is Phlysburg, Dad." Jorge said with pure fear in his voice.

"What!?! I thought you made sure only the Allied Powers had weapons, son!?!" His father yelled as he weaved through traffic.

"We didn't, dad. We just said that if your not an Allied Power to not use any type of weaponry that will result them being on the receiving end of the Yuke Army's crushing forces." Jorge said almost forgetting that there was a missile crisis happening.

"I see a P.C. helo son, is it for me?" Warren said after getting off the highway and pulling up to the checkpoint.

"Are you Warren, sir?" The MP said as he looked at the ID that Warren handed him.

"Yeah, now let me through." He said looking at the MP with worry.

"Yes sir, general." The MP said snapping into a salute as he handed back the ID.

Just then, something bursting from the cloud bank catching the former general's eye, it looked almost like a rocket, almost.

"Oh no." He said opening his car door and pushed the guard and heard an air raid siren going off all throughout the city as he broke off in a sprint to the helo that was on stand-by fifty meters away reaching it in fifteen seconds followed by the MP as they both jumped in the helicopter as it started to lift off. The helicopter was almost at the city's limits when the sky lit up with a bright flash.

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Date: Unknown

Location: Unknown

Time: Unknown

Jorge awoke with such fright that he accidentally kicked Maj. Matrix in the side, in turn waking up the rest of them including the assassin.

"Wha...*Thump* Owwwwww!" Matrix looked to see who hit him in the head and saw the assassin stumbling up a set of steps. "Oh no you don't you little prick." He said as he bolted after the criminal. But when the Maj. ran up the steps and opened the door he almost had to do a double take as the sight in front of him nearly made him pee himself. He seen the assassin, but in a pinkish-purple, floating bubble along with a small green and purple dragon and a lavender purple unicorn. "Shhhhhhit!!!!"

"There's another one Twilight!" The dragon screamed as the Major ran back down the steps but not before he shut the door and bolted it shut.

"We're deep in shit guys!" Matrix exclaimed as he bolted to the window on the other side of the basement.

"Why do you say that?" Grimm asked but his question was answered as soon as it was asked when the door that Matrix latched shut was disintegrated instantly.

"Oh fuck." Was the last word said by Jorge when there was a bright flash of light then darkness.

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"What do you think they are Twi?" A tomboyish voice asked.

"I honestly don't know Rainbow." Another voice said.

"Well whatever they are, they have terrible clothing." A third voice said in a slightly thick British accent.

"Well Ah think that thay don't wear them fer fashion Rares." A fourth voice said in a southern accent, a polar oppose to the previous voice.

"Oooooo, I wonder how they throw parties...?" A bubbly voice called out.

"One of them seems like they're hurt." a soft, delicate voice stated.

Jorge's eyes shot open instantly. His vision was blurry for a few seconds but started to go away and he saw who his captors were. Six, multicolored ponies and one small dragon stared back back at him in pure fear. "Uhhh...hi?"

"It TALKED!!!...*Thump" The marshmallow mare screeched as she fainted.

"ohhh, my." The butter yellow mare squeaked barely audible from behind her bubblegum mane... 'She looks so cute.'

"A-ah need ta sit down." The sunset orange mare said as she picked up the white unicorn off the floor and hauled her to the nearest couch and started to fan her with her stetson.

"Wow, you... things can talk?" The cyan pegasus said looking shell-shocked.

"*Gasp* You talk?!!?" The pink mare with a pink mane exclaimed as she jumped five feet in the air.

"We can talk." Jorge corrected her.

"Who are you, what are you?" The lavender mare asked in a tone of pure curiosity and fear.

"I am Jorge Nagorski, Prime Minister of the country Yuketobonia and we are humans." Jorge stated his title and species to the mare.

"I never heard of Yuketobonia or humans before." The purple mare said as she tried to think hard

"That's because we're from another planet." Jorge said as he inspected the slightly pinkish bubble he was in with pure intent and wonderment.

"Are you hostile in any way?" She asked becoming more fearful with each word she said.

"Only when someone threatens to create a genocidal war." Jorge said as he turned around to see the Assassin grab his head and groan. 'Great, now he's gonna start to flip his shit.'

"Is one of your friends waking up too? Is he hurt?" The yellow pegasus asked in a whisper.

"He's an Assassin." Jorge punctuated the 'Assassin' with a swift kick to the young mans' chest after he walked up to the man getting up.

"Get up you little piece of shit!" Jorge yelled as he picked him up with his left hand.

"Please, don't kill me! I'll talk! I'll ta-*Whaaam!* Sh-shit, my nose!" The younger man seemed to start to tear up in pain crying.

"You've disappointed me, my country, and our family! There's no going to Ocea you traitor!"

"Brother, please spare me! I don't want to die, Jorge. Not like this anyway." His brother kept pleading and pleading for to minutes straight in the eyes until Jorge looked away and muttered a few words and let go of his brother.

"You pull one wrong move and you are gonna wake up in hell right next to me, Nick." Jorge looked back at his brother as he started speaking.

"Yes sir... Uhhhh, what or who are those creatures?"  His brother asked as he pointed to the mortified faces of the ponies that had captured them.

"You say nothing to them unless spoken to, understand?" Jorge hissed to his brother and his question was answered by a nod. "Thank you."

Jorge began to glance at the bubble that surrounded them and started to inspect it when he heard a knock on a door to the right side of the room and watched as the purple mare walked to the door. 'I hope whoever is on the other side of that door is harmless'.

"Where are they Twilight?" Jorge heard a stern yet comforting voice asked after the mare he now knows as Twilight opens the door.

"I-in the main room, Princess." Twilight said as she bowed to whoever was in the doorway and since he can only see a part of the supposed princess, he could tell that if he ever got out of this bubble, she'd more then likely will him and his men. Jorge then started to pray to whatever god existed that he will do anything to leave this world and go back to his world and that he will quit swearing. I swear that to any god or what is represented as a god here, *PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THESE PONIES, I'LL DO ANYTHING! I'LL-I'LL QUIT DRINKING THEM! I'LL EVEN QUIT SMOKING!***

"Do you really want to do what you just prayed to me?" Jorge heard the voice from a minute ago again in his head and he looked up to see the owner of said voice and caused him to go rigid in slight fear. She was at least 7' 4", but he wasn't counting her horn though. she must really be a monarchy leader if she is taller than any other ponies.  The other ponies in the room noticed his quick change in posture and most of them went into a fighting stance, except for one, which was the butter yellow one fainting out of pure fear. Jorge noticed something moving the corner of his right eye and turned to see Matrix getting up slowly.'You better not... Wait, you look familiar. Who are you, Human?' Jorge looked the pony princess right in the eyes. He began to realize that indeed he was talking to a deity-god and he then proceeded to bow to her making her... "Excuse my slightly rude question, but are you giggling?" Jorge asked as he looked up and felt a feeling he hadn't felt for so long. It was sort of like love at first sight to him but he banished that thought as he mentally slapped himself for getting a mental and literal hard-on. 'Why am I getting a hardy for a pony version of a deity?!?'

"Maybe you should stand back up and ask her yourself human?" He heard that angelic voice ask him which in turn he stood up and looked at her in slight horror with a prompt snicker afterwards and a slightly loud thump that made Jorge look over to see Matrix currently now laying on his back with a slightly shocked expression plastered on his face still. (I regret nothing Matrix. XD)

"Wow,  I guess it's 'Everybody Faint Day' today I take it?" Jorge asked as he went to check on Blaze. When he looked over him, he only had a bruise on the left side of his head. "I guess not then." 'These ponies look so adorable.'

"I see you've taken a liking to my little ponies, Jorge." Jorge went rigid when he heard his name and slowly looked towards The Princess of the Sun and stared her right in the eyes and asked aloud, "Get out of my head Miss. Please and thank you." Jorge continued to check his mens vitals and looked them over one last time before turning around to see a slightly angered Twilight seething at him with a glare.

"What? Was it something I said?" Jorge asked nobody in particular. Receiving a bigger death glare from the lavender unicorn.

"You just insulted two royal figures. You even show a lot of disrespect breaking into my library's basement." Twilight ranted as she took a few steps towards the bubble.

"Hey! I don't even know I ended up in your library's ba- wait, this is a library?" Jorge then started to look at the many bookshelves filled to the top with books and more books. He stared at a random shelf for a moment before snapping back into reality. "Where is the other royal figure?" He asked as he looked back at his men.