The Power of Randomite

by Archie Ratsworth

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human
Length: 4438

An experiment gone wrong leaves a strange grey pony lost and depending on powerful new friends.

Most new arrivals might have shown up in the Everfree, or because of a spell by Twilight Sparkle or Princess Celestia. I woke up in the Crystal Caves beneath Canterlot to listen to a displaced voice, and since then the fore-mentioned ponies have been only too kind in finding and hosting me . Even without a secret advisor, I'd still be aware that they are trying to stop me...from what I'm not sure. Probably from following the influence of my mental friend, since all he wants is for me to become an archanist. As if I haven't done enough messing around with things I don't understand.
...
I don't what I want, to be honest, but I've received offers from different individuals or groups, so I guess it's up to me to make a choice; to pick a direction and follow it. Some of them? No going back. Where I am now is a result of one of those paths, so I'm not sure if I want to stop now and settle down or keep going, find the way out.

What I do know? Things are nicer here in Equestria. And there is no such things as humans. There is no such thing.

Published 2012-12-10 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-29 12:44:39 UTC

1: An Awful Arrival

Chapter One:

There was a ringing in her ears.
Explosion.
There'd been an explosion.
It has been too unstable, and it had blown up in her face.
The experiment had gone wrong somehow.

Opening her eyes was struggle. They seemed heavy, and gummed up. She pulled them open to nothing.
Either she was blind, or there was no light. Both options seemed viable.

Her body ached. Something brushed over her, not quite touching her skin. A cold breeze.
Unwisely, she reacted with a start. The ache bloomed into acute muscle pain. She spasmed, jerking her body into further pain.
A groan wheezed out as she tried to stop herself convulsing. It was no use.
For the next undefinable amount of time, her body automatically began to sort out its nervous system.
To be awake for this was a hell. This may be obscure vital biological function, but normally it would remain the reaction of unconsciousness.

However, the sensations did give her an impression of her circumstances.
The floor in her lab was soft and impermeable. The surface she was on was pitted stone, moist.
So, her environment had changed. And judging from what she could feel, her body had also been affected.
Scientific mental detachment at this stage was vital, it was very hard to otherwise cope.

When the fit was over, she found herself weary and breathless. Her eyes, nose and mouth had leaked.
Slowly, she went to lift her head. Her muscles panged. Whimpering, she relaxed.

"Oh god." she muttered thickly. "I can't move!"
Laughter echoed.
"Can't move?" Scoffed a voice somewhere. She couldn't be certain if she was hearing it in her head or not.
"My body is all weird." She replied, dubious. "I can barely lift my head. Even that hurts."
"Maybe you're doing it wrong." Replied the voice. "Maybe you're overthinking it."
Considering this, she proceeded to thrash around, trying to get another feel for herself.
It occurred to her that she may have actually changed shape. Her two sets of limbs felt...as if they were the same. Was she no longer bipedal?
She tried to lift her head again, this time taking into account she had to lift starting at the shoulder.
It worked.
Unsteadily, her head rose from the floor. She still couldn't see herself.
"It's dark." She complained, lowering her head. "I can't see myself.
"Oh." The voice sneered. "Do you think it do any good, seeing yourself? Do you think it would help?"
"Yeah." She snorted. "Some light."
"Hmm." The voice hummed, seeming to consider. "Oh very well."
Illumination slowly entered into the world. The walls of, unsurprisingly, a cave, began to light up with glowing crystals.
"Thanks." She grunted, lifting her head up and tucking her chin to take a look.
The body of a small grey horse was sprawled out over the floor. She gave an experimental twitch of her left lower limb and saw the corresponding leg move.
Things began to make more sense.
"I'm a pony." She stated, trying to breach her disbelief. "I've turned into a small horse like creature."
"Ah. Yes." The voice said, with little trepidation.
"I'm probably going to stay like this for a while." She continued.
"You seem to have gotten a grip on your situation quite quickly."
She groaned.
"I'm going to have to learn how to dance...ALL-OVER-AGAIN!" She lamented, thumping her head to the floor.
"Dance?" The voice chuckled, delighted. "Why worry about that when you can't even walk?"
"Why worrying about walking without being able to stand up?" She retorted. "That's my challenge. Walking is cake compared to that."
"Really?" The voice jeered. "You think so?"
"Yeah." She sneered back. "Standing up."

She waggled her limbs, working out which was which. Then she moved the two that were off the ground, the left side, scrambling to pull herself over.
When that failed, she pushed herself over, trying to roll onto her feet. It seemed to almost work. She tried again. Then again, this time, folding the legs on the ground side and pushing out. And then again, this time folding the upper set as she reached the furthest point of the roll.
This strategy panned out, leaving her upright on all four bent limbs. She decided to unbend the back set first.
She nearly fell over, much to her frustration, but succeeded. With a satisfied huff, she lifted one of her front legs, putting her…hoof, to the floor, and then followed with the other. Slowly she straightened those legs as well.
"UP." She stated triumphantly. Surprisingly, she felt quite stable.
"Well done." Chuckled the voice. "You stood up all by yourself!"
She nodded curtly. "Now. For walking."

She froze. 'How the hell do they walk again? It's not left side, right side.'
She confirmed this by trying to lift both left legs, tilting alarmingly.
'Nor would it be back, front.'
She bent her back legs and pushed up, lifting them from the ground. The movement nearly made her flip over, and she landed jarringly. Pain buzzed up her legs.
'It would be front leg, opposite back leg. 1 3, 2 4. I knew that from the start though, didn't I? This is going to suck.'

Author's Note

I'm not going to try and bother pretending that voice isn't a certain popular trouble-maker. In fact, it's probably better that you know so you can read it and hear his voice. Nor will I pretend that the grey pony isn't in fact, orignally human, even if I don't directly come out and say those things till futher into the fic. I did tag those things in, as per regulation, so moot point.

Now, I'm trying to do the same as many good human in Equestria stories while remaining somewhat original, though taking my usual approach means this fic will contain violence and snark. I've had people laugh at what was supposed to be a heavy scene, so please tell me what made you laugh. If you do, I can work to entertain you better. And please, point out errors. I do try to keep my work typo free and with the proper grammar but stuff will slip by unless caught by other attentive readers.

Oh and "Something brushed over her, not quite touching her skin", that is deliberate, considering a human wouldn't be used to having a full coat of hair. Other-wise, nick-pick away, it shows how much attention you are paying.

2: Twilight's Trouble

Chapter Two:

Twilight Sparkle stopped. There was a book on the floor.
There shouldn’t be. They had just cleaned up the library.
"Spike?" She called, uncertainly.
There was no reply,
"SPIKE?" She called again, a little annoyed.
There was a thump. Spike scrambled into the room.
"What?" He asked, worried.
"What's this?" Asked Twilight, staring down at the book.
Spike looked at the book and groaned, slowing his pace. "How did that get there?" He muttered, looking up at the shelves cautiously. "Did it fall from one of the shelves?"
Twilight was silent, considering the book with thought. "Hmm."
Dismissing this, Spike continued his line of inquiry. "Did someone drop it there, when we weren’t looking?" He'd gotten to Twilight by then, and reached down to grab the book.
"Spike." Twilight muttered, jerking out of her riviere. "Something's off…"
And then the book slammed open and out of it poured darkness in huge billowing tentacles. Spike was enveloped in an instant, his panicked cry echoing though the crystal caves. The Changeling Queen cackled down at her, and Twilight stood, small and foalish, staring at her reflection in the floor.
A miserable grey face stared back at her, reminding her of how she had no friends. She was alone, trapped down here with no way out, and now it was Dischord laughing at her. She leaned forward and stumbled-

And woke with a gasp, finding herself beside her bed, her back aching from having hit the hard floor. Spike howled, fighting his own blankets.
"Spike! Wake up!" Twilight exclaimed, scrambling to her hooves and hurrying over. Spike's eyes shot open and flicked around wildly, finally finding the soft purple glow of Twilight's horn as she used her magic to unwind the sheet from around him.
"Twilight." Spike gasped, rolling out of the bed and stumbling over to her. "I had the worst dream."
"So did I." Twilight admitted, still quivering. "Tell me about it."
"Well, first it was an eternity of cleaning up after you did that massive study on changelings, and then you called me back and there was a book on the floor you wanted me to put away. But when I went to pick it up it pulled me in with these big black hairy spider legs, and you just stood there and watched!"

Twilight jerked and strained to look at him. He had taken a hold of her left leg and was hugging onto it.
"So, what was yours about?" Spike inquired, and Twilight sighed. "Come on!"

"Well, it started the same...you got attacked by a book that pulled you in, and then...I was back in the caves, and the Queen was laughing at me, and I was a foal again, I didn't have any friends again. And when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I was washed-out, like when Dischord- he was laughing at me…" Twilight trailed off, frowning.
"Wow, that sounds horrible." Spike gasped, letting go of Twilight's leg. Twilight didn't watch him leave, instead the image she'd seen in the floor danced in her mind's eye, something elusively strange with it, something wrong…

Twilight sighed and followed after Spike, finding him fixing a midnight snack for himself. He held an smooth dark stone, and was staring at it hungrily, but when he saw her, he froze. She smiled and walked towards him, only to freeze, staring in horror at her face in the jewel. It wasn't her in that reflection!

"What do mean, Twilight?" Spike was confused. He went and held the gem close to her face. "Of course it's you! That's your reflection…Twilight?"
"It was someone else." Twilight told him, her eyes wide. "That wasn't me in the caves. I saw someone else…Spike, I need to go to Canterlot!"

Spike gaped at her, and then his gaze was dragged back to the gem. When Twilight turned her back and raced back to the shelves, Spike relaxed. Taking advantage of his open mouth, he stuffed the gem in and crunched on it. He wasn't going to get possibly dragged off to Canterlot on an empty stomach!

Dear Princess Celestia

Twilight paused, thinking hard, and then wrote fiercely, stopped and turned to stare at her collection of books. The quill, freshly dipped, was still hovering over the page and while she thought, the drip of ink swelled and dropped into the page, spreading darkness out over the words. Twilight turned back to see the result and growled. Dipping the quill again, she swept the letter aside and copied out a new one, shorter. She gave a much smaller account of her dream; why she was coming and then rolled the letter up and sealed it.
"Spike!"

Spike trotted out and took the letter, sighing. He sucked in a great breath, his head pulling back as his stomach swelled. Then he let loose with a blast of green flame, which dissolved the letter into a cloud of sparkles. The sparkles zoomed out the window.
"Come on, Spike!" Twilight ordered, already running a list though her head. "Packing quickly to catch the Nightmare express!"

The two slipped out of the library in silence, and sped silently down the road. The full moon cast everything in silvery light, and silhouettes. They met no-pony and saw no-pony their way to the train-station, and there, unsurprisingly, was no-pony-else boarding the train that night. It was chilly there, but not enough for Twilight's breath to mist. She stomped and skittered anxiously, staring up and down the tracks.

Finally, there was a distant screech-whistle, and the Nightmare-Express huffed into the station. With a subtle-hiss of steam, it slid to a halt. Twilight trotted to the door and jumped though as soon as they slid open. Spike raced in after her, gripping his tail. Settling onto a bed, Twilight curled up and stared out the window.

Author's Note

I noticed a typo, so I fixed it.
Yay self-editing skills go-go-go!

3: Merely Moving

The voice cackled as she trotted stiffly forwards, distracting her from the way her hooves struck the floor, how different the sturdiness of having four legs was to the having of two sets of toes to keep her upright. As the jarring sensations from her awkward strides made her grit her teeth, she was bemused to find she still had to reverse her slight overbite to do so. She'd changed forms and yet it seemed, some things were irritatingly consistent; probably Murphy's Law to blame for that, always screwing her over.

Having chosen her target, a hole in the wall, she staggered over slowly, success swelling up inside her. She stopped, nosing over the loose-ish rocks at the edge of the cavity and seeing that it had been...blasted?!

Rearing back, and staggering she regarded the opening with shock, her head reeling with the implications. Something had done this, and it could have been a life form, either sentient (meaning she'd be discovered in a gem mine, eek!), or not (which could mean rock moles, gah!) or maybe, it was something else, like explosive minerals...or maybe her arrival had blasted the hole.

Collapsing on her side, she lay there shuddering as her unintentional screaming reflected off the walls, acting like an echo-chamber and magnifying the noise back at her. Eventually, the noise faded, and the deafened pony ceased sobbing, realizing that the voice had gone away. She rolled back onto her feet-no... hooves, dammit! Sighing wetly, she wobbled back over to the hole and peered through…

The light was dimmer out there, but still enough to see by. She peered over her shoulder back at the lit cave and sighed, leaning down to the rubble by her hooves and opening her mouth. She gave the rocks an exploratory lick and found them to be cool, so she tried to pick some up in her teeth, finding them smooth but dusty (particles) and gritty (texture). Finding one she could hold in her maw, she found her tongue pressed against it, forcing her to stop and adjust her grip by pushing the rock against a wall, pressing it further into her mouth. It was, however, considerably more rock then she would have once been able to suck, and she'd done it a couple of times for sheer experimental experience value.
Red-stone torch in cheek, so to speak, she gave another sigh and set out, her gut swarming with the nervousness of indecision. What if she was meant to stay there? No, she was going, she'd decided.
"Ah, leaving already?" The voice asked.
"Whuh?" She grunted through her rock, glancing around.
"I thought you'd linger until I'd have to tell you to go. Why did you bring the rock?"
"Luh." She grunted, trying not to think about how the cave had gone dark.
"I see." The voice said. "Well, it makes things easier. I can't afford to keep lighting things up for you."
"Kay." Smiling, she tossed her head, and paused due to irritation. She tried again, and again, a frown creasing her brow.
"Why are you jerking your head like that?" The voice snapped.
"Nuh huur!" She mumbled around the rock. "Whuh?"
"No what? Hair? Of course you have hair, it's that grey fuzz all over you."
She made a rude noise in response. "Mane." She managed, nearly choking on and spitting up the rock.
"Mane." The voice mused. "Oh! I see...you don't have a mane? That's your problem?"
"Yuh."
"Well, don't complain to me! It's your own fault for having such a short haircut before getting turned into a pony!"
She snorted, shaking her head, and then set off, faster, her eyes burning.

As if I knew this would happen! The thought rolled around in her skull, feeling like a lie. She blinked away tears, realising she'd started trotting like a dressage horse without knowing it. Her pace promptly halted as her legs tangled and left her staggering, trying not to fall and break her teeth. Surging forward, she took three very long strides and got her walk back to normal. The voice laughed at her, and only stopped when she reached a point where she had multiple options forward.

"Hold on a moment." The voice told her, and then her light went out. She froze, shivering and peering through the dark. After a while her eyes picked up a glimmer in the distance. "There."

She shuffled across the floor in that direction, and after a minute, the voice sighed and the rock started glowing again, much fainter. It was enough to pick a path by, however, so she sighed and headed towards the glimmer. Eventually, she reached something that made her legs stupid, rushing crumbling over to it, she halted, realising the drop that faced her. She backed away, and as her mouth opened to omit a cry of fear the rock slipped out of her mouth and skittered away, going dark.
After a while she realised she could see; her eyes were picking up on a dim ambient glow. She refocused, squinting at the thing that had shocked her into losing her light.

Tracks. Not just any tracks, but rails, metal tracks with wooden slabs betwixt them, striping the gap. Her head had gone stupid too, judging by that description. But it was a sign, too, a sign of sentient and advanced life. She stood, staring at them, gobsmacked at the change in her luck. On one side, it seemed to lead to a way out; on the other...there was no cart. If she was going to use them, she'd have to walk on the slabs in the dark, a precarious plan. A board could be rotten, and give under her, or she could just misstep and achieve the same horrible result. She peered at the edge of the cliff and shuddered, backing away further.
For a moment, the glimmer she'd been heading towards seemed to wink out, and dismay came crashing in its place, filling her full of shame at her helplessness.
"What do I do?"
She couldn't think of an answer, and her resolve guttered, leaving her eyes wet and her chest heaving.
"What do I do?" She repeated, but the voice didn't provide an answer either.
Wait. Hold on.
The idea seemed...strange, but at this point she had no other choice. She sat and closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

Author's Note

Sort of unsatisfied with this chapter, believe it or not. So I chopped it in half, and left the second half for later.
Thing is, I couldn't wait till tomorrow to publish what I had since I'd had it on the by and by for a while so..
Three chunks today, and I hope I don't burn out on this one. I'm starting to get out of the inital flow and into the real slog, so that's also unhelpful.
...
' to the having of two sets of toes to keep her upright'
Yeah, that's sort of how I sometimes talk in life, so it bled through.
:derpytongue2: It makes much logic-sense but for the anti-grammar to me, but. :derpytongue2:
I also picked up on a mistake no-one had been kind enough to point out. Sort of embarrasing, like realising I'd gone out in public with a blue icing around my mouth only after the fact. Thank you for your kind and loving support, folks.

~~Comment more, you salty barstuds!~~
Yeah, thanks all.

4 Gentle Greeting

There was a noise, the sound of wings. Her eyes snapped open to the sight of a...horse, slender, shining white with great wings stretching outwards as it dipped and landed. It's mane and tail streamed out, blue striped with green and pink. On it's head was golden crown set behind a grand long horn, like a spire of majesty, and a matching gold collar, both with a huge oval shaped stone, like dark amethysts, set in them. Each hoof was sheathed in fanciful golden shoes that extended up like little crowns.
Two lilac eyes opened to gaze down at at the little grey pony
"Oh." It said, surprised to see the little pony prostrate, so awed by the radiance she was squeezing her eyes shut.
It considered her with puzzlement, head darting down so it could whisper;
"Do not be afraid, little one."
Blue eyes creaked open and locked with the majestic gaze of lilac, and went watery.
"Oh glory!" She murmured, shrinking away. "Who are you?"
"I am Princess Celestia." It told her, grandly. "I have reign of the Sun, and all of Equestria."
"Oh glory." The pony muttered again, shivering.
"I'd appreciate if you stood up and faced me, little one." She prompted, the edge of her eye crinkling gently.
The grey pony cringed, her eyes closing as she took a moment and gathered herself before clumsily got to her feet, shamefully aware of how graceless she was.
After a long reprehensible moment, the pony lifted her head and made herself look Celestia in the face. A tender smile softened the regal features, impressing upon the pony the benevolence she represented.
The fear faded from the little pony's posture, and she stopped shrinking away, allowing herself to return the smile.
"Thank you." the Princess seemed relieved.
It occurred to the grey pony that having to bend that long neck all the way down to speak with someone would have been a discomfort.
She nodded, snorting. Shame made her take a step back, suddenly nervous; would Celestia be offended?
"Please, speak with me." Celestia urged, taking a step forward. "There is much I would know about you."
"Ask." The pony smiled nervously. Celestia blinked, struck by the odd behaviour of the pony.
"How did you get down here?"
"I-down?" Her jaw dropped open and her eyes flicked to the glint of light beyond Celestia's head, and then closed. "But I was leaving, wasn't I? I was finding a way out!"
Celestia blinked, stepping forward.
"I meant; how did you end up in the caves?"
"I don't know." Whined the pony, shame-faced. "I just woke up here."
"Is that really all there is to it?"
The pony's eyes snapped open and she lurched back, suddenly skittish. Celestia held her gaze, not letting her break away.
"I...messed up! It was an experiment and it messed up!" The pony cried.
"And what kind of experiment was it?" Celestia probed, her voice calm and even.
"I don't remember!" The pony froze, and ducked her head. "I don't remember anything."
Celestia was silent, considering how swiftly the pony's demeanour had shifted, and then realised that from awe-stuck to distressed was merely a shift in fear.
The pony danced from one hoof to another, clearly from frazzled nervous energy. Celestia examined the grey pony who had frozen again and was regarding her out of the corner of one eye with alarm. The pony was about as big as a foal, except the proportions were somewhat off; subtly adult and noticeably thinner. Colourless, a plain dull grey from hoof to horn.

"Surely there is something you remember." Celestia inquired. "Who you are, where you are from? Your cute-"
There was a rattling noise, and Celestia glanced at the track, a little surprised to see the cart swooping along the tracks towards them. It bumped to a halt, and from the shadows she had fled into the grey pony watched Celestia trot over and peek in, frowning gently.
Her lilac eyes turned, picking her out of the darkness swiftly, and when they settled on her the concern melted into kindness.
"It's alright. It's just a minecart. There's nothing in it." Celestia coaxed, her head dipping down on that slender neck again. "Come out of the shadows, little one."
The little grey pony stepped forward nervously. Celestia had trouble picking her out, as the dull grey coat faded into the stone floor especially well in the darkness. Only her eyes, a bright sky blue, stood out in the darkness, which is how Celestia managed to locate her in the gloom. The reservation she saw as the pony reluctantly approached her caused her to wonder what might have happened in the small pony's past.
"Can you at least tell me your name, little one?" She asked, keeping her voice gentle. Even so, the pony cringed, her mouth dropping open as she strained to find an answer. She saw something about the pony's eyes flash, as she glanced away.
"No?" The grey pony said at last, ducking her head away.
Celestia sighed, shaking her head. The way the pony was acting suggested that she was trying to run away from her home, which raised so many questions about where she was from. What kind of experiment was she expected to think would land a pony here? Some kind of teleportation?
"Can I go now?" The pony asked, her eyes going to the side as if she were a nervous puppy.
"Where will you go?" Celestia asked, frowning.
"I was going to follow these tracks to that light." She admitted, somehow realising she'd be unable to avoid clarity much longer.
"These tracks lead to the exit, but they don't reach it." Celestia told her, her head sweeping to face the glint. "Perhaps it wold be best if you allowed me to bring you out. Maybe then we work on solving the mystery of your origin."
Celestia watched the grey pony sag, the despair flashing across the face being masked behind a stony determination.
"I would appreciate your help, Princess Celestia of Equestria." The pony told her, forcing a shaky smile.
The great white wings unfolded from her back, encircling the smaller mare in pale feathers. A beautiful smile spread across her muzzle as she lowered her head, a golden sparkling glow spreading across her horn. When the horn touched the young pony's head, there was a flash of brilliant light that refracted through every crystal. And then it was dark again, and the two were gone.

Author's Note

Okay, I added more to this. Next I shall switch back to first person for the Meeting with Twilight!
Once again, if you spot errors, PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT THEM.