Chapters Soul Mare lay quietly in her bed. Two nights had passed since she had gotten home; and still she wished she were dead. Her flanks burned like fire and her bloodied lips spoke no words. She doubted she would ever speak again. She tried to close her eyes and was brought back to that awful place…
It was warm that Sunday, she remembered, and she was on her usual morning walk to Equestria Unbound. Rose Cut had taken the day off to go on a picnic with some of her friends in the park, so Soul went straight to the book store.
Rapid Quill, as usual, had a small mountain of books ready for her when she arrived. Mara skimmed though them, took four, gave him the money, his morning kiss, and together they walked to the café down the street. As they walked Rapid Quill nuzzled Soul’s shoulder and told her about his morning.
Soul always enjoyed his stories more so, she thought, because she loved his voice so much and not his actual stories. She felt guilty for it, and listened on.
“Something struck me this morning,” he went on. Soul raised her head to look at him. “I love you,” he looked back to her and grinned wildly.
“You do?” she paused for a moment. “So do I… I mean, I love you, too”
Soul Mare blinked a few times, trying to remember what had happened between then and when she woke up, but all she could recall was Rapid Quill screaming.
And then she was waking up in a house. It was nice- blue and white curtains, ornate paisley fabrics on the furniture. She assumed she had fainted and somepony had let her rest in a nearby house, so she sat up and called out. Nopony answered.
Then she noticed all the windows and doors in the room were locked tight… from the opposite side.
“Quill? This isn't funny, you can stop now,” Soul laughed nervously, knowing he would never do something like this to her. Soul’s heart pounded in her ears, making it hard for her to listen and concentrate.
“Well dearie, Its not a joke, so why would it be funny?” The door clicked and a big dark Clydesdale stepped through it. His hooves were massive and heavy with think steel horseshoes. He had black eyes and two big white splotches on his muzzle.
“Who are you, where am I?” she asked groggily, staring at him as if her gaze would stop whatever he was going to do to her.
“Peridot, I work down in the mines, so you probably never met me,” he stepped further into the room; his hoofsteps sounded like thunder. Peridot stopped about a hoof away from Soul Mare and she saw how big he really was: At least twice as big, and three times as heavy.
“You're so pretty,” he touched her face. She pulled away” The way your mane falls, and the colors in your eyes… blue and grey…” he muttered softly. Soul could feel the hot of his breath on her neck. He smelled like smoke and booze and dirt. She gagged.
“Don’t be afraid, I'm sure you’ll like it… its just some fun anyway”
Suddenly he was over her, pinning her down under his massive hooves. She whimpered in agony as one of her legs broke under the weight of him. The edges of his horseshoes were jagged, leaving cuts on her arms and sides. They stung when he brushed against her skin and he smiled, kissing her neck roughly.
Soul tried so hard not to cry, biting her tongue until she tasted the salty warmth of blood.
“Please…” she croaked, tears streaming down her face. She was grateful for this: the tears blurred her vision so she didn’t have to look at him any longer.
The pain was worst when he forced his way inside of her, stretching and ripping her flesh. It bled, like much of the rest of her. Her skin soon rubbed raw. She was completely numb between her legs and finally, for a few brief moments, the pain was lessened. Soul Mare let out a breath, spitting blood in the big stallion’s face.
Peridot snorted loudly and stomped his hoof down on the young mare’s arm. It crumpled under the pressure and snapped loudly. It hurt so badly she couldn’t even scream and her eyes opened wide, forcing her to look at him.
He grinned his sick grin and forced his way further inside of her. This time she did scream, as loud as she could, in hopes somepony, anypony would hear her and save her. Instead he just slammed one of his hooves over her mouth, knocking her head back. She cried out feebly, her nose and mouth filling with blood again, a taste she wished weren’t so familiar. She coughed and gagged… she wanted to throw up or just die, but she lay quietly and let him finish.
When he was she was tossed aside like garbage, so she lay to sleep, or die, as she felt like she might..
“Mara.. Mara honey, wake up” that voice, Soul knew that voice. Her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head.
“Quill,” she managed to utter, her lips mangled by rough horseshoes.
“Yeah I’m here..”
Soul Mare lay quietly in her bed. Two nights had passed since she had gotten home; and still she wished she were dead. Her flanks burned like fire and her bloodied lips spoke no words. She doubted she would ever speak again.
It had been a month; she counted each and every day that she didn’t feel any better. Her scars had mostly healed, but days after it happened the headaches started, headaches that turned into voices. She couldn’t walk to see Rapid Quill in the mornings anymore, for she was much to scared to. So, she stayed in her room alone, the door locked. Not even Quill came to see her much anymore… she wished he would. She missed him. She wanted to talk to him… she thought she could. She supposed it was boring for him to just sit and watch her lay there, and didn’t blame him for not coming around.
Soul looked over at the calendar: December 13th. “Its my birthday…”
“And happy birthday to you, my love” came Rapid Quill's voice from the doorway. Soul stood up quickly and ran to him, snuggling her head up under his chin. He smiled. “I missed you”
“I thought you wouldn’t come…” her voice was quiet and broken sounding and Quill layed her back down on her bed. He sat beside her and stroked her now overgrown mane. She looked as if she hadn’t washed or groomed in days… weeks and her eyes were bloodshot and sleepless.
Rapid Quill spent almost an hour cleaning her up and brushing out her mane so it looked nice. He planned to take her out to the club to see her old friends and hoped she would enjoy herself a little.
Quill finally got her up and down the stairs before it happened. At first he thought it was a seizure. Soul Mare screamed and fell to the floor and Rapid Quill rushed to catch her, but she hit the floor, smacking her head on the wood.
The voices spoke to her, yelling inside her head. It had caught her off guard and it scared her to know she was going out when something like this could happen. He’s no good for you… remember what happened? You remember don’t you? He hurt you.. broke you… why let another man do the same? Every time they spoke her scars stung and made her want to throw up.
She sat up slowly, vomited, and began to cry.
Quickly, Quill gathered her up and brought her to the couch, where at least she could listen to some of her music and see friends.. She sat quietly for a while, like she often did, and he sat with her, stroking her mane and whispering to her that he loved her.
Kill him.. Go away from here. Ponies only want to hurt you… rape you.. She vomited again and Rapid Quill pulled her body close to his chest. She didn’t want to believe what they were telling her, but it was hard not to listen and she pulled away from him.
He didn’t argue it, and instead sat across the room.
“Leave.” Soul muttered under her breath, and Rapid Quill looked at her, surprised. “I said leave, didn’t you hear me? Or are you deaf, faggot?” This time she yelled, tears streaming down her face. She barely knew what she was saying, like she was watching someone else control her, but he didn’t know that.
“Fine! All I ever did for you was good, and this is what I get? I cleaned puke off of you!”
Soul cried harder, wanting more than anything to tell him to stay, to hold her, to stroke her mane again, but she couldn’t. Something stopped her. “Just go!”
And he did..
Better isn't it? Being alone.. Calm.. peaceful.. safe. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. Its just you.. and me. Soul’s head pounded and she could barely see a foot in front of her face, but she managed to stagger to the bathroom and look herself in the mirror. “What's happened..?”
You changed… she looked from the mirror to the sink side and saw a loose razor blade. Do it. You’ll feel better, you dumb cunt. Soul picked up the razor slowly, watching the sharp edge shine in the bright bathroom light. She held it tightly, staring at it for what felt like an hour, before bringing it down on her other arm hesitantly. She was surprised how easily it cut, and how much it bled. The blood dribbled over onto the floor and down her side. She stopped, afraid, and tossed the razor across the room, splattering blood on the wall and floor.
“Wh-what am I doing?” Soul sank down the wall.
You pussy, keep going .
She was bleeding far more than she expected; most of her arm was stained red and she was sitting in a pool of the red sticky stuff. Her head spun wildly. “Too much… too much blood. Help somepony!” she screamed. Her legs wouldn’t work, she couldn’t stand up and her bloody hooves made streaks down the wall.
Stop struggling, you're making it harder on yourself.
“Shut up! Let me go!” Soul screeched at the top of her lungs, reaching for the razor again. She just wanted it all to stop… Not even death could be worse than the hell she was living. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his white splotched face.Whenever she slept she had terrifying nightmares of being eaten alive by dogs or her limbs being stretched until they popped and ripped off. Sometimes she even dreamt of that day…
Slowly she brought the razor to her throat, sobbing uncontrollably. She wiped her eyes with her other hoof, smearing more blood across her face and staining her tears red. Soul paused for a moment, thinking about Rapid Quill; how she had sent him away.
“I love you forever… its sad that forever ends here..” her voice was broken, dry an monotonous. She took a deep breath, and another, and brought the razor across her neck.
It barely hurt, and she let out her breath before the blood began to flood her mouth. A few moments peace, an odd warm feeling, then nothing.
“She couldn’t mean it..” Rapid Quill sat outside of Soul Mare’s house, debating whether to go back in. He knew she was having a rough time getting herself back together… and he had been so harsh to her. Suddenly from the top floor of her house came a loud thud, and Rapid Quill rushed inside, tripped up the stairs and burst into the bathroom. “Mara!” he dropped to the floor and pulled her against his chest, covering her throat with a towel. Blood bubbled over her lips as she tried to speak. “No, shhh.. don’t move. You’ll be okay”
“I don’t want to die..”
Better this Way?
“How long?… I have to talk to her” Rapid Quill paced back and forth uneasily outside Soul Mare’s room. 2138… a number neither of them would forget.
“Go ahead in, but be warned she is in bad condition” Said the doctor slowly, in a tone as if to say ‘You don’t want to go in there’. Rapid Quill snorted softly and went in anyway. He almost gagged, looking away when he saw her. She was hooked up to at least three different tubes, covered in bloody red bandages, and her arms and legs were chained to the bed. Quill could hear her sobbing quietly to herself. He slowly looked back up to her. She had stopped sobbing and was staring at him.
“You… came back..” she mumbled, her gaze still set on him. She was different somehow, her mane had been cleaned and cut and her eyes were no longer bloodshot, but she looked even worse than she had before. The expression on her face was that of panic. She was scared. Immediately he ran up to her and held her. “Make them untie me… it hurts.” Her voice was almost inaudible.
He unlocked the restraints himself, and as soon as he did she leapt up, ripping off the tubes connected to her and most of the bandages, and running out the door.
“You let her go? She was restrained for a reason, you fool!” the doctor ran past Rapid Quill as he stood dumbfounded in the doorway. Was that really his Soul Mare?
Her heart pounded, her hooves clicking against the tiles of the hospital floors. Where was the exit? She couldn’t stay there any longer. The voices screamed at her in that horrid place. The dead yelled at her, begged her for mercy. Then it happened: A small black pony came around the other corner and stopped in front of her. Follow me. I know the way out. Soul hesitated, not knowing where the foal had come from. Come with me… come with me… the small colt bled as he spoke, his mouth dribbled and bubbled with the thick red liquid and he grinned a Cheshire grin of pointed teeth. Soul stepped back a few hooves and gasped as she bumped into someone. “Please… no please stop. Leave me be!” two guards grabbed hold of her arms and pulled her back. The small black pony followed her. Follow me. Come with me. Why aren’t you listening? Why?! His voice got louder until he was screaming in her ears, reaching out and grabbing her ankles as he followed her down the hallway back to her room. She was chained to the bed again, and this time her mouth covered so as to keep her quiet.
Rapid Quill stayed with her… and so did the black colt. For two weeks the small dark horse stayed there… sitting.. Watching her. She could hear him breathing, and the gurgling of the blood from his mouth constantly. Nothing was ever quiet. Her cheeks became red and sore from crying, and her voice hoarse from yelling for them to let her out. To unchain her. Rapid Quill cried quietly as she screamed, night after night, knowing he couldn’t do a thing to help.
At the end of the second week she was deemed well enough for Rapid Quill to take Soul home. She stayed in her room, like she had before; sitting alone on her bed, reading books and singing quietly to herself. Rapid Quill stayed out of her way mostly, but brought her lunch and dinner every day without fail.
Sometimes Soul Mare would still have nights that all she did was scream, and those nights Rapid Quill sat with her. He didn’t know what was bothering her so much other than when she said “Make him stop staring… he’s watching me. I can’t sleep while he watches me.”
Quill would walk around the room, look in every corner, in the closet, out the window, and under the bed, and never found anyone, but Soul could see him. The small black pony with red eyes, who sat in the corner and bled on the floor. The blood stains were even there in the morning, but Rapid Quill never seemed to see them.
Rapid Quill slipped into Soul’s bedroom. It was earlier than he usually woke her up, but he had had a long night at the bookstore and he needed to see her face, maybe even make her smile. He hadn’t seen her smile in a long long time, and remembered to the first smile he ever saw out of her.
Soul raised her head as soon as he opened the door and he noticed her clean white sheets smeared red in spots.
“Soul, what happened?” he muttered, and he noticed she was sobbing. “Mara…”
She turned all the way to him and he saw the source of the blood. She had scratched at her ear all night until it had been worn down to a bloody nub. Bits of flesh were still hanging off of it, but the blood was mostly dried and matted in her fur.
“He wouldn’t stop… yelling at me…”
It was a cool night in late winter, and the windows in Soul Mare’s room were open so she could smell the pastries being cooked in SugarCube Corner. Her bed had turned into a little shelter of pillows and blankets so that she didn’t have to look outside her bed at night and most nights were quiet. She sat in her little fortress with her head on her hooves, counting the stars. “Christmas is in a few days you know. And I’ve been a very good filly this year”
I wouldn’t call it good. Look at yourself; do you think Santa Prongs is proud of you? Soul looked in the mirror and shook her head. She had scars on her legs, side and flanks, and one across her throat, but worse, her whole left ear was missing. She had been a bad filly. Would she not get gifts?
“I didn’t mean to be bad.. I did what you told me to..” she hung her head and began to sob. Christmas had been the one thing she was looking forward to.
“Darling, don’t you worry about getting presents. I’ll talk to Santa Prongs, alright?” Rapid Quills big strong arms were around her and he pulled her close to him, like he often did in the mornings. “And I have something to ask of you” he smiled as he spoke, and Soul raised her head to look at him. She nodded. “Well, may I sleep in here with you now? It gets cold on the couch downstairs”
Soul smiled as he asked. She wanted him to stay up with her in her room but hadn’t known how to ask. “Yes… will you take me out today? To the Record Label to see my friends. I.. want to see them.” Her voice kept quiet, but was confident.
The Record Label was the local club, where Vinyl Scratch usually played. It had been Soul’s favorite ever since she had moved to Ponyville, but she hadn’t gone in months… what felt like years.
When they arrived the club hadn’t changed any, but ponies impressions of her had. Most ponies stood at the other end of the room and stared at her. Rapid Quill snorted at them occasionally, but Soul knew why they didn’t come near her: she looked a mess, cut up and bruised and unkempt. She had pulled her mane into a messy bun in an attempt to look less overgrown, but her tail dragged on the ground. Not even her friends came near her, though when she looked to the DJ she nodded and put on Mara’s favorite song. As she sat at the bar that day, she could hear the other ponies talking about her. She wished they wouldn’t talk loud enough for her to hear.
“Did her coltfriend do that to her? Look at her face…”
“She shouldn’t be outside her house..”
“Is it safe to be near her? She might hurt someone.”
Soul Mare sat quietly, sipped her cider and cried, listening to and remembering every word they spoke. “I thought my friends would want me back, Quill.”
“Mara, my love, give them time. They haven’t seen you in months.”
“I know you hear what they say” And they mean it.. Soul dropped her cider and everypony stared. Her head shot up to look at them and she ran out the door. Rapid Quill followed her as fast as he could but she was much faster than he was.
“Mara stop!” he yelled, out of breath and beginning to trip over his own hooves. She didn’t listen and pressed on towards the forest. It was quiet there; no one to tease her or judge her. The all too familiar feeling of tears filled her eyes and she blinked to keep them from blurring her vision. When she opened her eyes again Quill was in front of her and she slammed into him, knocking them both over and landing her on his stomach. He laughed and held her by the hips. “I love you, my beautiful filly.” He whispered in her ear as he sat up and she slid off of him.
“I love you, too.” Mara pressed her muzzle against his cheek and he licked her up between her eyes. She giggled, feeling him pull her back on top of him and pulling her face much closer to his. Their lips met for a brief moment before he picked her up and rolled her over so he could use his hooves for other things than just holding her in place.
Soul giggled again and scrunched up her shoulders, crossing her arms across her chest and pulling her knees up to her stomach. Rapid Quill pulled them away gently and kissed each hoof as it passed by his lips. “Not so bad, is it?”
She shook her head. “No, not when you do it.” And that moment was the definition of trust for the two of them for the rest of their lives. He was almost touched that she trusted him that much since all he’d done for her for months was bring her food and tuck her into bed at night, but he saw in her eyes then that all that had meant much more to her. “Whats the goofy look for?” she asked quietly, twirling his mane around her hoof playfully.
“Huh? Oh.. Just glad to have my little filly back” he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers firmly. They stayed like that for a long time until he pulled away, gently gathering her up in his arms. “Its late, time to go home and sleep”
Soul Mare slept soundly that night knowing Rapid Quill was right beside her, scaring away all the monsters.
Author's Note
Okay, so it might be a little while before new stuff is up. I am really busy with the holidays and school. I will try to post one more chapter this weekend to leave at more of a cliffhanger. Anyway thanks bye!
