That's not a bad idea...

by Philosopher01

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy
Length: 4217

What's wrong with Cherry Berry?

Cherry Berry sulks over her breakfast outside Sugarcube Corner, visibly distraught. As Pinkie views it as simply criminal to allow a pony to be unhappy on the grounds of her working establishment, she see's it as her duty to cheer her up. Upon finding out what's troubling Cherry, Pinkie makes a suggestion that, while odd, may be the solution to her problems.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-19 18:13:34 UTC

Chapter 1 - A suggestion

Cherry Berry leered at her soup, her eyes narrowed and eyebrows crossed tightly, forehead rumpled to the point where it was starting to hurt. She sighed and relaxed the taut muscles, pressing a hoof to them gently to relieve the ache.

Any of the other patrons of the outdoor section of Sugarcube Corner who happened to glance over at Cherry Berry in the last thirty minutes may have wondered what a bowl of tomato soup could have possibly done to wrong her so. Lucky for her the only other customer that afternoon was thoroughly engrossed in the latest edition of the Ponyville Enquirer. Everypony else was busy enjoying the warmth of the splendid sunny day, whilst Cherry sulked in the shadows under her table's umbrella.

“I should have known better by now,” she muttered to herself. Images of the previous day flittered in and out of her mind like angry moths that she just could not bat away. Loud voices and angry tones filled the recesses of her mind, arguments silent to all but herself, and possibly that dumb stallion if he cared at all.  “Stupid jerk.”

Cherry’s utterly miserable expression would have been obvious to any pony that laid eyes on her. Some may have felt sorry for her, some may have ignored her, but some ponies would have laid their eyes on that face and instantly felt they were required to make her feel better.

One of those ponies was looking at her right now.

Pinkie Pie had just finished serving the gentlecolt with the newspaper his basil tea when she caught the distraught facade of her singular other customer, staring forlornly into the soup which she had served her almost thirty minutes ago. She couldn’t help but notice the soup had been barely touched. If Cherry’s face wasn’t enough to signal there was a problem, that definitely was. Nopony could resist Pinkie Pie’s terrific tomato soup!

After receiving a thank you and telling the gentlecolt that he was welcome with a huge smile, Pinkie Pie trotted her way over to Cherry’s table.

“Hey Cherry Berry!” Pinkie greeted. “How are you?”

The voice startled Cherry, causing her to recoil slightly. She lifted her head to see two big blue eyes, and a warm smile underneath.

Great, this was all she needed right now...

“Oh, hey Pinkie, I’m... ok,” she lied.

“Oh, that’s good!” Pinkie accepted with a grin. “Because I looked over and you looked really sad and you kept staring all angry at your soup! And then I thought maybe she didn’t like the soup but then I realised that’s ridiculous Pinkie you make AMAZING soup so I just had to come over and find out why your making all these frowny faces!”

Cherry stared back at the pink baker, confused. Not because her explanation had come out at twice the speed most ponies speak, but because, oddly, she felt her mood lift a little. She almost even felt a chuckle approach her lips... almost. Looking at the smiling expression in front of her, she even felt like she wanted to tell her what was wrong.

“Ugh, stallions,” Cherry began. “This jerk I was seeing for a couple of weeks really ticked me off. I was supposed to meet him here this morning but I told him not to bother showing his stupid face last night.” Why am I telling her this? she found herself wondering.

“So you came anyway?” Pinkie asked with genuine curiosity.

“Yeah, I guess I had this idea that he might turn up and apologise. Hah! As if..."

“Aww, that’s terrible Cherry,” Pinkie replied, pouting.

A distant yet still loud clang of a bell interrupted the conversation. Pinkie’s ears pricked up at the sound and she suddenly dashed over to the colt reading his newspaper, unceremoniously grabbing his hoof to look at his watch. She ignored his grunts of confusion as she ran back to Cherry Berry.

“It’s just gone to my lunch break Cherry, and that gives me an idea! Why don’t I eat with you today?”

Cherry, who was now actually struggling to suppress a giggle at Pinkie’s aggressive methods at time keeping, pondered the suggestion. Why's she being so nice to me? Does she treat all her customers this way?

“Eh... sure, why not?” she agreed, shrugging.

“Great, I’ll be out in a jiffy!” Pinkie announced. “I know just what you need too. A free cupcake!”

Pinkie stopped for a moment during her walk back to the store’s interior. Upon speaking her last statement, she could hear a faint voice in the back of her mind. It sounded sort of like Mr. Cake, and it seemed as though he was yelling something about ‘too many free cupcakes’. Pinkie soon dismissed the thought as unconnected, how could you possibly have too many free cupcakes? She skipped into the store to retrieve her lunch.

Cherry Berry was surprised to find herself smiling as she watched Pinkie hop into the store. Only moments ago she had wanted to crawl into a dark hole and hide from the world, and now she was about to have lunch with a pony she had only ever spoken to on a customer-service basis, and she was looking forward to it!

It’s like her happiness is infectious she thought. She must have some technique... Cherry considered if she would be able to discover Pinkie's secret for use in her next stand up gig. That pony seemed to be funny without even trying.

A few moments later her new lunch date appeared, carefully balancing a small tower on her back consisting of a bright pink plastic box, a blue ceramic plate, and a delicious-looking, pink-frosted cupcake with yellow sprinkles with a shining red cherry on top. Pinkie carefully slid the cupcake over to Cherry and placed the box in front of herself.

“There ya go Cherry! Dig in!” Pinkie offered with a smile before pulling open the clasps of the box with her teeth.

“Did you just make this especially for me?” Cherry asked, eyeing the cupcake suspiciously.

“Uh-huh, how could you tell?” Pinkie smiled.

“Well the frosting and sprinkles match my mane and coat, plus there’s a cherry on top.”

“Yup! I always like to personalise food when I can, especially when it’s a gift! You can do anything with cupcakes!”

“Gee um, thanks,” Cherry added, taken aback by the gesture.

“Aw it’s nothing,” Pinkie responded with a wave of a hoof. She then proceeded to unload the contents of the pink box, most of which were sugary foods. After a few moments Pinkie had laid out a sickeningly sweet selection of food, including lemon tarts, bonbons, frosted doughnuts, and of course cupcakes in a blinding range of colours. Pinkie glared at the food with wide eyes, and Cherry was sure she could hear her salivating.

“Woah, is this your lunch every day?” Cherry asked, incredulous as to how a pony could gorge on this sort of food regularly and still keep a healthy figure.

“Oh no no no no no!” Pinkie responded quickly. “You just happened to catch me on a Wednesday! That’s my sugar day!”

Cherry tilted her head in confusion. Pinkie caught the look after biting into a lemon tart.

“Youshee,” Pinkie garbled, crumbs escaping from her mouth. She took a moment to swallow then continued.

“You see,” she repeated, “when I got the job in Sugercube Corner, I walked into the store and looked around. After a few moments I suddenly realised, yup Pinkie... this is how you die!” she giggled at her own slightly morbid joke. “I was a kid in a candy store, and I was gonna be surrounded by it all day!” She took another bite out of her tart, remembering to swallow first before continuing. “So I told myself that I’d have to limit myself somehow, and by some miracle I managed to stick to a plan. I wasn’t to eat any sweets during work except on Wednesdays. That’s the day I can eat all the candy I want!” She finished her story of rigorous self-discipline with a smile, before mashing a cupcake into her mouth, her eyes rolling back in ecstasy as the sugar hit her pallet.

Cherry giggled again, her worries suddenly forgotten, replaced with a new found mirth.

“That must have been real difficult for you Pinkie,” she said with a grin.

“You have NO idea,” Pinkie agreed, gorging on a bonbon.

Cherry looked down and remembered the cupcake in front of her. Having a fairly well developed sweet-tooth herself, she promptly took a bite out of the inviting treat. Her eyes grew wide as she bit into its sugar rich icing, tasting of sweet raspberry, only for her tongue to reach the surprise creamy custard filling hidden deep within the soft, rich dough.

“Oh wow!” Cherry gasped at the sensual overload.

Pinkie looked up from her own gorging. “You like it?” she asked.

“It's... it's delicious!” Cherry responded, still in shock.

“Well, I do know my way around cake batter!” Pinkie laughed.

“You certainly do! Thank you!”

“My pleasure! So you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah, I am actually! Although I'm still certain I'm finished with stallions.” Cherry added.

“Why don’t you try dating a mare?” Pinkie asked.

Cherry was caught off guard by Pinkie’s sudden no-nonsense tone. It was an honest question.

“Because...” Cherry began quickly, expecting to have an obvious answer but when she thought about it, she couldn’t find one.

“I dunno actually...” she finished, raising a pensive hoof to her chin. She knew plenty of mare couples in Ponyville and they seemed to enjoy happy relationships. Heck, she was close friends with Bon Bon who has been in a relationship with Lyra for like... ever! And those two always seemed happy. "I never really thought about it."

“Well you should totally give it a try! There are lots of pretty mares in Ponyville... kind of a strange amount when you think about it actually,” Pinkie added, now adopting a similar pensive pose.

“Have you ever dated a mare Pinkie?” Cherry inquired.

“Me?” Pinkie responded, not leaving her thoughtful position. “I’ve done the smooching thing with both mares and stallions, but never really done the whole dating scene. I kissed Fluttershy once,” she added, giggling.

“Fluttershy...” Cherry shuddered slightly as the name brought back unfortunate memories of a wagon filled with garbage being suddenly dumped over her and Bon Bon’s head. Last time I agree to do volunteer work Bon Bon...

Luckily, Pinkie didn't seem to notice, as she continued her story.

“Yeah I guess I kinda bought myself a little too many mugs last cider season, hehe, poor Pegasus couldn’t look me in the eye for a week!”

The two ponies laughed together, each conjuring up their own mental image of the bashful Pegasus hiding behind her pink mane.

Bashful... when she WASN’T dumping garbage over ponies' heads...

“I could tell she enjoyed it though, there are few things that can make Pegasus wings flare out that quickly!”

They continued laughing, Cherry lost in Pinkie’s infectious joviality, clutching her stomach as she laughed herself breathless.

Cherry sighed as she wiped a tear from her eye. She looked over to Pinkie, and for a moment met the two bright blue shining plates that were Pinkie’s eyes. She could almost see the laughter that was held deep within them. It spurred her mind into action.

“You know Pinkie, I think I’m going to take your advice on the mare-dating idea, are you free this weekend?”

“That’s great Cherry, I bet you’ll find tons of mares willing to go out with you! And free from what?”

Cherry shook her head as she observed Pinkie failing to pick up on the invitation. She realised she’d have to be pretty straightforward with this pony.

“I’m asking if you want to go on a date with me Pinkie, this weekend?”

Pinkie’s eyes grew wide as the question sank in.

“Oooooooooh,” she replied, her face an enigma of emotion. A few moments of silence passed, causing Cherry to wonder if she made a mistake. Bon Bon always was saying something about thinking before she acted. She was about to retract her offer when Pinkie suddenly spoke again.

“Would we get to dress up all fancy?!” she asked excited, clapping her hooves together.

Cherry smiled with relief.

“Sure, we could go fancy if you like!”

“Yay!” Pinkie cried. “I never get to dress up all fancy!

“So, how about Saturday?” Cherry suggested.

“Works for me!”

There were another few moments of silence as Cherry pondered an odd question.

“Ummm... who picks up who in this situation?” Cherry asked nervously, rubbing a hoof along the back of her neck. “Usually the stallion always...”

“Oooh that’s a toughie...” Pinkie agreed, assuming pensive hoof position once again. “Flip on it?” Pinkie suggested, producing a bit from her lunchbox.

Cherry smiled at the very Pinkie-like solution.

“Sure, heads I pick you up.” Cherry smiled.

The two ponies' eyes followed the bright golden disc as it spun through the air, launched from Pinkie’s hoof. It shimmered in the afternoon sun as it ascended, followed by a speedy descent back to its bright pink launch pad. Upon landing, a large engraved ‘1’ looked back up at them.

“Looks like you’re the stallion for this date!” Pinkie laughed.

“So, how about I pick you up around eight?” Cherry responded, unable to control the wide grin on her face.

“Sounds great!” Pinkie jumped in the air with excitement, and was suddenly halted by another clang of a distant bell. “Looks like my break is over, and I only got to eat 3 cupcakes!” she announced, distraught. “Oh well, I’ll save them for later, see you Saturday Cherry!” With that, Pinkie raced back inside the store.

“See you!” Cherry shouted after Pinkie. She was excited, really excited! She had done the whole dating scene in such the same way for a while now that it had begun to feel boring, almost routine. But this, this was new, fresh. She found she couldn’t wait for Saturday! She was amazed how this afternoon had turned around so quickly. I've got to tell Bon Bon about this!

Chapter 2 - Preperations

“Stop fidgeting, if you want me to make this dress you’re going to have to stand still for at least a few seconds.”

Rarity barked her command as she struggled to levitate a measuring tape around Pinkie’s waist. The task was inordinately difficult due to the pink pony’s constant excited bouncing on the dress podium inside Carousel Boutique.

“You still haven’t even told me what this dress is for,” Rarity pointed out as she battled with the task.

“I haven’t?” Pinkie responded.

“No,” Rarity assured her, pulling the measuring tape away. She pushed against the red frame of her spectacles with a hoof, sliding them up the bridge of her nose, then quickly began scribbling down the measurements she had just toiled to find. “You just barged in here about twenty seconds ago, jumped up on the podium and yelled that I must make you a ‘super pretty dress’ before Saturday!”

“Oh heh, yeah...” Pinkie responded with a sheepish look. “It’s for a date, if you must know.”

Rarity dropped her pen in shock.

“A date?!” she yelled, her face the very definition of surprise. “You have a date and you didn’t tell me right away?” Rarity demanded, indignant.

“Well, I did just tell you now-“

“Well who is this stallion?” Rarity raced on. “What’s his name, how long have you been together, are you an item?” Rarity’s stream of questions was fast enough to rival even one of Pinkie’s rants. The party pony waited patiently until she was finished before placing a hoof nervously on the back of her neck.

“Well... she isn’t a stallion...”

“A MARE?!” Rarity’s eyes widened with delight as the gossip got even juicer. “WHO WHO WHO? Do I know her?... IS IT ONE OF OUR FRIENDS?! Did you and Fluttershy-“

“Woah woah hold it Rare!” Pinkie cut in, giggling. She looked down at the panting unicorn who had made herself breathless with her seemingly endless torrent of questions.

“First of all that thing with Fluttershy was just a kiss, I’ve explained this, too much cider etc.” Pinkie explained with a wave of her hoof. “And the pony I’m going on a date with is Cherry Berry. I only just found out about the date yesterday.”

Rarity’s eyes darted back and forth across her pink friend as she processed the slew of information. She opened her mouth, but so many questions wanted to come out at once that she simply stood there, gaping like a fish out of water.

“You ok Rare?” Pinkie asked with a hoof over her mouth.

Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She remembered she had to make a dress for Pinkie, so she would have her around long enough to get her questions answered. Having calmed herself, she once again re-adjusted her glasses which had somehow managed to cling desperately to her nose during her excitement, and resumed scribbling on her notepad.

“I’m fine dear,” she said, clearing her throat, all proper manners and dignity returned. “I was just a little caught of guard by the news. Please, do tell how this date came to be arranged. I had no idea you and Cherry Berry had this sort of... connection.”

“Well, it is sort of random, even for me,” Pinkie admitted. “Cherry was looking all saddy-waddy outside the store yesterday, so I sat and had lunch with her.”

Rarity murmured acknowledgements as she continued her work.

“Turns out some stallion upset her. I suggested that she try dating a mare, so she asked me out!” Pinkie explained, a large smile forming on her face as she told the story. “Wow, I didn’t realise just how nice that story is until I said it out loud!”

“It was quite... forward of her,” Rarity replied, not taking her eyes off her work.

“Well, I am super adorable!” Pinkie explained, giggling.

“Indeed, so let’s see if we can’t make you more adorable,” Rarity added. Making a dress for a mare-mare date was something out of the ordinary for Rarity, and she was enjoying the idea of a challenge. She ran Cherry Berry through her mental storage of information on Ponyville’s residents.

“Isn’t Cherry Berry that pony we saved from a falling air balloon during the Mare-Do-Well incident?”

“Oh yeah!” Pinkie replied. “I’ve saved her life before! That could be fun dinner conversation!

A brief moment passed where Rarity turned to Pinkie, she had an eyebrow raised and her head tilted slightly. Her face had one word written all over it: seriously?

“...or maybe reminding her of a traumatising near-death experience isn’t promising date material,” Pinkie conceded, a nervous grin on her face.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Rarity offered, magically rifling through a bunch of fabrics, muttering to herself various reasons as to why each one would not work.

“Oh Rarity you gotta help me!” Pinkie pleaded, a sudden desperation to her voice. “I agreed to this date because I thought it’d be fun, but I just realised I have no idea how to act on one! What if I mess it up and she hates me!? She’ll hate mares then too, and then Cherry Berry won’t ever want to date another pony and she’ll end up all alone forever and it’ll be all my fault!”

Rarity quickly dropped the various tools and garments she was levitating to walk over to the podium, gesturing Pinkie down silently with a hoof. The pink pony jumped down to her friend, who wrapped her brilliant white hoof tenderly around her neck.

“Don’t worry about a thing darling,” Rarity said with a smile. “You have come to the perfect pony! I’ll have you looking so dazzling no stallion OR mare would be able to resist.” Pinkie’s worried expression was replaced with a shy grin. “As for etiquette,” Rarity continued, I’m also an expert in the area. I have plenty of tips for dates!”

“Oh thanks Rare, you’re the best!” Pinkie replied, throwing her hooves around the unicorn in a deadly tight hug.

“Yes... Pinkie,” Rarity gasped, struggling to free herself from Pinkie’s vice-like grip. “But I’ll need to breath to make this dress for you!”

“Oops, sorry!” Pinkie giggled as she released her friend from her aggressive affections.

Rarity inhaled deeply. “There’s your first rule dear, keep the hugs below suffocation level!”

*

“I dunno Cherry, Pinkie Pie?”

The pair sat in Bon Bon’s house, the cream-coated pony sat behind Cherry Berry, running a brush gently through her friend’s custard-yellow mane. Cherry gently tilted a cup of piping-hot tea into her mouth as her friend worked, enjoying the warmth of the open fireplace beside them. The contrast of the heavy rain storm outside only added to the comfort of the cosy living room.

“I would have figured you’d be supportive of all ponies Bonnie?” Cherry questioned, raising an eyebrow. She glanced down at the tea, lamenting the lack of chocolate biscuits to go with it. Cherry recalled her feeling of utter shock upon requesting some and Bon Bon revealing she had none. Who has tea without chocolate biscuits?! Seriously... some ponies!

“Now don’t be like that Cherry,” Bon Bon replied, halting her brushing. “You know it’s not the mare thing I have an issue with. It’s just, isn’t Pinkie Pie a little... eccentric?”

“Yeah, she’s a bit nuts,” Cherry agreed, not skirting around the issue. “But she’s a lot of fun! She made me feel so much better after I was wasting my time moaning over that jerk Cherry Fizzle.”

Bon Bon continued her brushing. “I said eccentric Cherry, I wasn’t trying to imply she was insane.  What’d I tell you about watching what you call other ponies?”

“What are you, my mother?” Cherry responded haughtily.

“No, but my advice stands,” Bon Bon continued. “Your mouth gets you into plenty of trouble. Your going out with another mare now Cherry, you’re going to have to change your attitude a little. You can’t use your usual tricks that you would with stallions, especially on a pony like Pinkie.”

Cherry rolled her eyes. “You seriously sound like my mother.”

“You talk to your mother about these things?” Bon Bon smiled.

“No!” Cherry replied quickly. “But you nag just as much as her.”

“Ah, so my friendly advice is nagging now is it?” Bon Bon teased.

Bon Bon’s only response was Cherry sipping very loudly on her tea. She chuckled to herself and shook her head. It was like trying to advise an adolescent colt. Cherry seemed to actively dislike helpful advice.

“Also, I bet Pinkie would understand the necessity of chocolate biscuits with tea,” Cherry added after a few moments silence.

“Are you still on that? Not everyone has the same chocolate addiction you do.”

“Just doesn’t seem right to drink it without some biscuits.”

Bon Bon could only shake her head in response. A few moments of silence passed where the only sounds in the room were the gentle crackling of the fireplace, and the soft scraping sound of Bon Bon’s brush running through Cherry’s mane.

“So really, how much thought have you put into this?” Bon Bon asked, breaking the serenity of the room. “You never seemed interested in dating mares before.”

“Yeah but hey, first time for everything right? Pinkie suggested it and I figured, why not?”

“Yeah but, it’s not the same as trying a new kind of food or something. I mean, can you imagine yourself actually kissing Pinkie Pie?”

The question brought Cherry back to her afternoon lunch with Pinkie Pie. She could vividly recall her bright blue eyes, so full of life and energy. Moving slowly down Pinkie’s face to her mouth, she saw it perpetually curved into a warm smile. She saw her lips. They were plump, moist, and covered in sugar. They looked inviting, and she bet they tasted sweet...

“Cherry?” Bon Bon called out, leaning over her shoulder with a questioning glance.

“Uh...” Cherry shook her head, snapping out of her daze. “Yeah, I think I could handle kissing Pinkie,” she replied finally with a smile, her mind still lingering on the enticing image in had conjured suddenly. “That’s not so strange anyway is it? I mean, you’ve kissed stallions before dating Lyra and enjoyed it too right?”

“Yeah but not willy-nilly like you seem to be. I’m just asking if you gave it some thought. You tend to rush into things.”

“Yeah, thanks MOM.” Cherry snapped.

“Look, I think it’s a nice idea just, take it slow alright?”

More loud slurping of tea.

“So what’s your plan of action then?” Bon Bon shifted the topic. “As I said this isn’t one of your usual stallion jobs.”

“I’ll just play it by ear,” Cherry remarked casually, gulping down the last of her tea. “These things tend to come naturally to me,” she added with a smug grin.

“What, disasters?” Bon Bon laughed.

Cherry sat, mouth agape. She struggled to find a response, but the brilliant witty comeback she sought never came to her. Instead she closed her mouth with a frown.

“Shut up and brush,” she replied, shoulders dropping into a sulk.