Equestrian Treasure

by DisarmedSpy

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2007

My Little Pony in Borderlands (Authors: jlong and jkillea)

So, you want to hear a story, huh? One about treasure hunters? HAHA! Have I got a story for you. Equestria, this is our home, but make no mistake, this is not a planet of peace and love, they say it's a wasteland and it's dangerous and only a fool would search for something of value here. Then perhaps I am a fool. But do not be fooled about what Equestria appears to be, there is a legend, many people tell it, the legend of the vault. My father would always go on about the vault, even with his dying breath. Advanced alien technology, infinite wealth, fame, power, mares. So you can understand why some little fillies who hear the stories grow up to become vault hunters. Well, I have a story you may not believe, but I tell you it is true. The legend of the vault is real, and it is here on Equestria, and a. . .a. . .lets call it a guardian pony, appeared to guide the vault hunters to their prize. The tale begins right here, on Equestria, with the brave vault hunters, the guardian pony, and most importantly. . .me.

Published 2013-03-11 21:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-11 21:10:02 UTC

Welcome to Equestria

“Equestria, this is our home, but make no mistake, this is not a planet of peace and love, they say it's a wasteland and it's dangerous and only a fool would search for something of value here. Then perhaps I am a fool.” ~ Unknown

“Don't be alarmed. I need you to stay calm, and not let on that anypony is talking to you. Start making your way off the bus. You don't have any reason to trust me, but I need you to believe that I'm here to guide you - I'm here to help you find the Vault. In a moment, you'll be greeted by a funny little robot. Do everything he says. You'll know what I mean when it happens. I'll contact you again soon.”

Twilight’s eyes flew open wide, as she wondered if anypony else could hear this. She looked around, but nopony else seemed out of the ordinary. The bus stopped, and she heard the driver call from the front of the bus.

“Alright everypony, whoever’s getting off, get off my bus.”

Twilight stood up and began to make her way to the front of the bus; everypony stared at her, probably wondering why she was getting off at this stop. She stepped off of the bus, surrounded by a cloud of dust as the bus began to make its way towards its next location. As the dust settled, the scene became apparent; she was in the middle of a strange dusty forest clearing. Trees surrounded her on all sides, towering over her dark and foreboding. A short distance away, a small purple and green robot beckoned her closer. Looking around, she decided there wasn’t much harm in seeing what he had to say.

“Hi! You must be the one I was sent here to fetch. My name is CL4P-SP1K3, but you can call me by my locally designated name, Spike!” the robot exclaimed “Follow me, you’ll want to talk to the town medic first, she’ll fix you right up”

Twilight looked down at her battered body; she had been roughed up before she had gotten on the bus.

“So!” Spike said as he rolled along next to Twilight “What’s your name?”

“Twilight” She said hesitantly “How did you know to meet me here?”

“I don’t really know” said Spike “I just got a feeling to be here, that’s what most commands feel like, you don’t hear anyone say them or anything, you just get a feeling to be someplace.”

They continued walking for what seemed like hours, until they finally reached the outside edge of the forest. A vast valley was in front of them, with a town in the middle. They continued walking until they walked right into the town.

“What is this place?” Twilight said with a hint of trepidation

“This is Ponyville. It’s where a lot of rebels and others come to live. It’s more peaceful than the rest of Equestria, except for the bandits that sometimes try and steal our food, supplies, and use me for target practice, which is not part of my programming! I’m sorry if I seem excited about all this, but that’s just the way my programmers made this my default voice! I’m actually quite depressed!” said Spike as he walked into a building “Oh, here we are”

“Where’s ‘here’” said Twilight, looking at Spike

“This is the town medic, come on in and she’ll fix you right up!”

Twilight walked into the building just in time to see a strange mare stab a very large and sharp looking needle into the flank of another pony, who was strapped down onto a table and went immediately went limp.

“There! In a couple hours you’ll be right as rain, if not you’ll be dead! So it doesn’t really matter!” Said the mare as she started to look at the door and spotted Twlight “Oh, I didn’t see you there! Come in come in, make yourself at home. My name’s Pinkie!”

Twilight came closer to Pinkie and sat down onto one of the chairs that were in what she assumed was the waiting room.

“Ummmm. . .are you sure you’re a real doctor?” asking Twilight as she sat down

“Well, actually I don’t have my medical license, I lost it after I was performing surgery and my patients skeleton went missing, buuuuut, I am the only pony around here with any medical expertise at all, so if you get shot I’m all you got”

Twilight felt herself go numb from fear, was this really the only pony that could help her if she was injured?

“Yup! That’s right!” said Pinkie looking at Twilight

“But I didn’t say that out loud” said Twilight with a puzzled look on her face

“Nope, you didn’t! But that’s what makes it fun!” Pinkie said as she giggled “Get on the table now! I’ll fix you right up”

Twilight refused to get up, but soon realized there was no use fighting it as she needed a doctor. She got up hesitantly and started walking towards the table.

“Hurry up, I don’t have all day” Said Pinkie, trying to hurry up Twilight

Twilight started making her way to the table a little faster, and as she reached it she hopped up on the table, nervous about what Pinkie was going to do to her.

“Alright, let’s see what I can do” said Pinkie reaching for something out of sight of Twilight, shivers went down her spine at the thought of what she might do. “This will fix you right up!”

Twilight felt a slight pinch and then everything went black. A few hours later, she had opened her eyes, the light blinded her as she did but she was starting to see clearer.

“Sorry about that! That was the wrong syringe! Good news though is I fixed you up while you were knocked out! Bad news is that the shot I gave you was pure sugar and you’re going to go into cardiac arrest soon!” said Pinkie looking at Twilight “Oh, and if you survive it your heart should be stronger than ever! If not you’ll be dead, just like the other patient!”

“What! The other patient is de-“ Twilight tried to say, but was interrupted by her clutching her chest as her body went into shock due to cardiac arrest.

“What? No! Well, not yet. I haven’t checked on him in a while, so actually, maybe. I don’t know” said Pinkie as she shot another syringe into Twlight, this time through her heart

As Twilight stopped being in cardiac arrest, she finally gained enough breath back to mutter a few words and look at Pinkie with an evil glare in her eyes.

“Why. . . on Equestria. . .would you have a syringe. . .full of sugar?!” yelled Twilight with all she could, unfortunately her yell was little more than a whisper.

“It’s for me silly!” said Pinkie as she jabbed one of the needles into her flank “I love my sugar! It helps me stay awake for late night work, and it’s so fun to see sound! You should try it!” said Pinkie as she jabbed another syringe full of sugar into Twilight “Oh, that’s right, massive cardiac arrest, my bad! Well I hope you don’t die!”

Twilight once again woke up, and glared at Pinkie with hatred in her eyes

“Why did you do that again?!” yelled Twilight

“I forgot! I’m sorry!” said Pinkie, her eyes tearing up “I didn’t mean to! It was an honest mistake! I forgot!”

“Well I hope I don’t die this time!” yelled Twilight sarcastically “You call yourself a doctor? You just almost killed me! Twice!”

“I told you I lost my license!” yelled Pinkie back “What did you think I was? Making that up?”

“Well that’s great you’re sorry! I might die but that’s great you’re sorry!” yelled Twilight back “Wait. . .why am I not going into cardiac arrest?”

“Well, I told you your heart might be stronger after that, so you might not go into cardiac arrest again. Congratulations! You’re immune to sugar now! Bad news however you may be addicted now.” said Pinkie with a large smile on her face

Twilight just looked at her, wondering why they would ever let someone such as her be a doctor in a small town. She got up from the table for the first time in hours and walked outside into the air, it was late in the afternoon and her journey had yet to begin.

“Come on Spike, where do I go now? I was told to do everything you say to do” said Twilight as she looked at Spike

“So you’re supposed to do everything I say?” said Spike

“Yes” said Twilight “Why do you ask?”

“What about jump in the air and yell ‘Spike is the best robot ever!’ Do you have to do that? Or maybe even dance with me!” said Spike as he started dancing “Look at me I’m dancing, I’m dancing!”

“Stop Spike, you’re embarrassing me and yourself.” Twilight said as she face-hoofed. “That’s not even dancing.”

"But. . .okay. Well here! You need a place to sleep don't you!" said Spike

"Well, yes I suppose." Said Twilight awkwardly

"Alright! Follow me!" Said Spike as he started whizzing down the street to an old building

"You can sleep here! It has a bed and everything!"

"Alright, thanks Spike." Twilight said as she rolled her eyes and looked at the bed of hay that was on the ground.

Twilight laid down on the hay and fell asleep. She needed some rest for her long journey in the morning.

Author's Note

Current character list (Even characters who haven't show up yet! WOO!) If you see some of the ones that aren't filled in or have some changes you think should be made, make a comment and me and jkillea will review all your suggestions and comments! If we like it, we'll even change the character list to reflect your idea! (Characters are obviously subject to change with this method. However the three characters in this chapter; Spike, Pinkie, and Twilight. Will not change. The only characters that will be locked into their roles are ones that have already been written into the story, unless otherwise stated in the comments where a truly better fit has been chosen)

Main Basis

TS = Siren

AJ = Berserker

RD = Assassin

PP = Zed | Pinkamina = Ned

Rarity = Tannis

FS = Commando

Secondary Basis

The Doctor?

Nurse Redheart = Pinkamina’s Cl4p-tp

Lyra = Moxxie

BonBon = Lyra’s Cl4p-tp

Vinyl/Octavia = New Haven Radio?

Big Mac = New Haven Security

Granny Smith = TK Bahaa

AppleBloom/Sweetie/Scootaloo = CMC

Prince Blueblood = Baron Flynt

Trixie = Crimson Lance Leader

Ditzy = Helena Pierce

Braeburn = Scooter

Fancy Pants = Sir Hammelock (sequel)

Custom Characters

Marcus = Lightning Dust

Spike = Claptrap (CL4P-SP1K3)

WE WILL NOT SHIP ANY CHARACTERS UNLESS THERE'S A GOOD REASON TO

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic © Hasbro. Welcome to Equestria uses assets from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It is not endorsed by Hasbro and does not reflect the views or opinions of Hasbro or anyone officially involved in producing or managing My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. As such, it does not contribute to the official narrative of the fictional universe, if applicable.

Borderlands © Gearbox. Welcome to Equestria uses assets from Borderlands. It is not endorsed by Gearbox and does not reflect the views or opinions of Gearbox or anyone officially involved in producing or managing Borderlands. As such, it does not contribute to the official narrative of the fictional universe, if applicable.

Borderlands 2 © Gearbox. Welcome to Equestria uses assets from Borderlands 2. It is not endorsed by Gearbox and does not reflect the views or opinions of Gearbox or anyone officially involved in producing or managing Borderlands 2. As such, it does not contribute to the official narrative of the fictional universe, if applicable.