Through the ages, the end of the world was always a topic of great debate. People took pleasure in attempting to predict when it would come. December 21, 2012. January 1, 2000. Armageddon. Ragnarök. There was also much discussion on the nature of the end. A great flood? Nuclear war? An asteroid? In the meantime, everyone went on with their lives. Most people, even many who talked of such things regularly, took each day like any other, even if it was predicted to be their last.
“Yes, Luci?”
“What’s armedon and ragnark?”
“Armageddon and Ragnarök were names for the last day in certain cultures. Truffle?”
“Is nuclear war worse than other types of war?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?”
“Don’t call out Marey. We’ll talk about it later, we need to read some more now.”
Despite the generally excepted knowledge that we would see it coming, that we would have some type of warning, days, months, even years ahead, whether from mystics, or scientific instruments, or some other kind of indicator that our final days were upon us, the 7th of November, 2017, was just like any other day. The next predicted end wasn’t for another two months, there had been no foreboding signs, from the heavens or anywhere else, and as I strolled down the streets of New York, even the guy who walked around with a sign declaring that the end is near was taking a break.
“New York?”
“Don’t interrupt Marey. New York was a large city. Many people lived and worked there. Let’s keep reading.”
I saw my destination across the street, and stopped at a crosswalk, being a bit more cautious than some of the other pedestrians. That was the last light I ever waited for. I heard honking in the distance, but thought nothing of it, it being the city. Then I heard the screech of tires, and the first screams rang out.
“I didn’t understand any of that.”
“Marey! Raise your hoof.
“Yes, Marey?”
“What’s a crosswalk, and a light, and…”
“The definitions are on the board, Marey. To continue…”
My first direct glimpse of the apocalypse was a small, brightly colored quadruped. It strolled out from behind a parked car, and looked at me with large, expressive eyes, tilting its head a little, and perking its ears. I thought the creature was adorable for about two seconds. Then it bared its four rows of teeth, made a noise like scraping a chalkboard, and began bounding towards me.
“Yes, Dan?”
“Can you scrape the board so we know what it sounds like?”
“Yea, could you?” “NO!” “Don’t do it!” “Great idea!” “Why would you ask that!”
“Quiet please. Dan, you know what the answer is, so do not ask again.”
I stood dumbly, watching as the animal approached. My stupor was broken when a taxi came careening down the road and ran the beast over. I tried to get a better look at the thing that had almost taken a chunk out of me. It looked back. Then it got onto its feet and started towards me again, apparently unharmed. This time I ran.
For several blocks I was oblivious to everything except for the thing behind me, and the need to pour all of the energy I could into my legs. I glanced back repeatedly, and was repeatedly reassured that no matter how durable the thing was, it wasn’t very fast. I was gaining ground, and had managed to get a lead of a block or so when the thing seemed to decide it wasn’t going to catch me. It veered off course, taking a powerful leap and landing jaw-first on a nearby woman’s head. I didn’t stay to watch, but was haunted by an ear-piercing shriek from behind.
“Yes, Marey?”
“What did it do to the woman?”
“It did what carnivores do when they catch their prey.”
“I’m a carnivore!”
“You’re annoying.”
“Falling Star, that is rude. And Dan, you are an omnivore, not a carnivore.”
“But aren’t omnivores also carnivores?”
“Back to the book, please.”
As I slowed down a bit to get my bearings, I saw that the world was not in good shape. Buildings were sagging and leaning over the street, resembling cakes with too many layers. There were rumbles and clouds of dust in the distance, most likely produced by structures that had completely collapsed. I caught glimpses of odd creatures running down adjacent streets, occasionally chasing someone, though there seemed to be few people left in the vicinity. A green vortex spiraled overhead, occasionally spontaneously reversing to spin in the opposite direction.
I remember thinking at that point that it seemed to be trying a little too hard to look like the end of the world. I regretted the thought when lava began to bubble up out of a nearby manhole, quickly spreading across the street. I began to run again, with no destination in mind, taking whichever way wasn’t blocked by debris, or molten rock, or some horrible beast standing over a corpse.
After some minutes of skirting lava lakes and dodging collapsing buildings, I made it to a small park, and flopped onto a bench, unable to go any further. I watched numbly as the building across the street fell in on itself. I couldn’t hear the ruckus it should have made on the way down. In fact, the city had become unnaturally silent. I could hear an occasional clatter or boom in the distance, but most sounds seemed to have been muted. I couldn’t even hear myself panting, though I could feel and see the rise and fall of my chest.
“Go ahead, Whiptail.”
“I don’t understand. What happened to the sound?”
“I’m not sure myself, but at that point, reality itself was breaking down, so sound probably wasn’t working like it should.”
A loud noise cut through the silence. It took me a second to realize that it was an un-tuned radio, and another second to realize that it was not actually a radio, but one of the multicolored monsters, eying me from not twenty feet away. At least, I thought it was eying me. It was hard to tell, as its eyes were a solid pink, with no pupil from which to deduce direction. It began to move towards me, which I found curious to watch, as it had only three legs, in a tripod configuration. Its head bobbed with each step, and that was interesting to watch too, as it was seemingly unconnected to the rest of the body.
“What does it mean… oh, sorry.”
“What is it, Marey?”
“What does it mean, the head isn’t connected to the body?”
“It means that the head was floating above the body, like a balloon.”
“That’s creepy.”
“I wish my head could do that.”
It didn’t even cross my mind to get up and move away. I would have died right there if it had actually been after me. Luckily, its target was not me, but a body just in front of my bench that I had failed to notice. When the thing’s head darted down at the carcass, I was startled into action. I quickly slipped over the back of the bench, and turned to head across the park.
“How could you not notice a dead body?”
“Sarah, please raise your hand. To answer your question: The world was ending. He was confused. He probably missed a lot of things.”
“Oh.”
Scanning my options, I saw only one avenue open, the rest blocked by smashed cars, rubble, or encroaching lava. I began to head for it, but stopped when a hole formed in front of me. It was pitch-black, four or five feet across, and after a brief examination, turned out to be not in the ground, but floating above it by an inch or two. Neither was it quite horizontal, it was inclined four or five degrees.
“Yes, Marey?”
“What’s a degree?”
“It’s on the board, Marey.”
My wonder quickly exhausted, I began to circumnavigate the hole so I could continue on my previous path. That’s when the head popped out of it. The object turned and settled its eyes on mine. It was purple, and had large ears and oddly colored hair. Its most prominent feature was its forehead, which sported a spiral horn. It spoke with a feminine voice…
“Ooh, is it…”
“No interrupting, Regi.”
…It spoke with a feminine voice. “Step through the portal, quickly!”
I conjectured that the head was referring to the hole it was sticking out of, but I didn’t really feel like jumping into a black hole at the moment. I turned to once again head for the avenue I had marked earlier, but as I watched, the pavement began to boil. I changed my mind about going that way, and instead jumped through the hovering hole after the disembodied purple unicorn head. I would like to say that that was the strangest thing I did that day, but that would be a lie.
RRRRIIIIIIINNNGGG
“We’ll continue this tomorrow. If you have any questions, feel free to ask your parents, I’m sure they can help. Wait, Marey, don’t forget your bag!”
Author's Note
This story isn't meant to be taken seriously. It's a challenge for myself to actually keep a story going.
Also, this was really fun to write, especially the interjections.