Diamond of the Capital Wasteland

by Speven Dillberg

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Crossover, Dark, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity
Length: 14264

Rarity recounts her misadventures in the ruins of Washington D.C with the Lone Wanderer

CANCELLED

After her disappearance three months prior, Rarity finds her way back home. Of course, this raises several important questions. Where was she? What did she do? Why is she wearing bloodstained armour? And who is this "Wanderer" she traveled with?

Published 2012-12-13 12:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-27 07:35:26 UTC

Prologue: Violent Homecoming

A normal day in the town of Ponyville would have meant a small farmer’s market set up near the town square, the town’s two sweet shops competing for customers and ponies walking or flying around, either going about their jobs or enjoying the weather.

“Repel the attackers!”

“For Equestria!”

“Seal those holes!”

Today was most definitely not a normal day.

In the wake of Princess Celestia’s humiliating defeat at the hooves of the Changeling queen, many groups had made attempts to upset the peace. For the most part, this was limited to vandalism and property destruction.

Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before a few groups took things to devastating, perhaps fatal extremes. This attack on Ponyville was, mercifully, the first. For weeks, talks with the local Diamond Dog clans had been degrading severely. Today, things finally escalated to the point of no return.

“We need to stop them from getting topside!” a unicorn, kitted out in the full guard combat barding. It covered more of the body than the traditional, ceremonial armour, but sacrificed ease of movement for protection.

“And how do ya think we should do that!?” another unicorn asked, blasting a Dog with a wave of force that sent it reeling back into the hole it had just created.

Multiple cracks of thunder were heard as lightning bolts rained down, smiting Dogs as they attempted to attack. “We need those reinforcements!” one of the pegasi cried.

“Have the civvies been evacuated yet!?”

“Captain Shining Armor is seeing to it himself!”

As the battle raged, a lone mare trotted towards the town, blissfully unaware of the carnage. “I can finally have a bath,” she said happily to herself.

This mare was clad in dull green armour unlike anything seen anywhere in Equestria, quite clearly modified from its original design. Strapped to her back were a pair of weapons, with another holstered on her side. Again, they were completely unlike anything Equestrian in origin. Her royal purple mane and tail had been cropped incredibly short, and a pearlescent white horn adorned her forehead. Her white coat was marred with dirt, dust and dried blood. Saddlebags bulging with who-knew-what covered her haunches, yet the weight seemed to go unnoticed by its carrier.

When she managed to see the town of Ponyville and what was occurring within, her jaw dropped. “I just left this kind of thing!” she moaned. Mumbling angrily to herself, she unslung the longer weapon and looked down the small scope attached to it. She tutted as she picked up her pace, the weapon hovering next to her the whole way.

“They don’t stop!”

“Dawn is down!”

“This cloud’s out of juice!”

Things were only getting worse for the poor ponies. Horribly outnumbered, the unicorns had been forced into a metaphorical corner. With two of their number down and pegasus support temporarily unavailable, the only thing keeping them alive was Captain Shining Armor’s powerful shield spell.

“We just have to wait until the reinforcements come,” the stallion said, trying to remain enthusiastic.

“Little pony won’t last long!” one of the dogs exclaimed as he hammered on the barrier with his weapon. He was soon joined by five dozen others.

“Where are those reinforcements?” one of the unicorns moaned, rubbing at a forming bruise under his armour.

Without any warning, there was a crack, and one of the Dogs fell forward, his brain matter splattering all over the barrier. There were four more cracks, and a matching number of now-deceased Dogs lying on the ground, each with a new hole in their heads. As Dog and unicorn alike looked around in a panic, trying to find the source, it made itself known.

“Well, I can most definitely say that this is not what I wanted to see when I came home,” an angry voice said. “But, if this is the way things are, so be it.” The voice’s owner stepped forwards, now brandishing her other weapon in her magic.

“Another pony?” one of the Dogs asked, laughing. “Hah! Easy kill.”

“And who do you think just killed those five?” the mare asked haughtily, keeping her weapon trained on her foe. As the Dog’s expression turned to worry, she smirked. “Exactly.”

Before the Dog could say or do anything, the mare’s weapon let out a number of small explosions. He felt several burning things tear through his stomach, and he collapsed from the pain.

The mare pointed the now-smoking barrel of her weapon at another Diamond Dog. “Would anyone else care to join him? No?”

As a group, the Dogs backed away nervously. All except one, easily the largest at over seven feet tall. “You think you scare me?” he asked defiantly.

“Well, you’re certainly not the biggest thing I’ve had to kill recently,” the mare commented casually. Her weapon let out another series of bangs, this time each one aimed at the Dog’s head. In response, his head exploded in a shower of gore.

“Great,” the mare complained as she flicked a shard of bone off of her armour. “Now I really need that bath. Anyone else?” she asked as she stepped onto the Dog’s corpse.

Against such a horrendously overpowered foe, the small invading force did the only sensible thing. It took a full minute for the dust to clear, so desperate they were to escape alive.

“Well, that went rather well,” the mare said pleasantly, returning her strange weapon to her back.

“What the hay just happened?” one of the unicorns muttered.

“We got the clouds! Where do you - where are the Dogs?” a pegasus asked as she flew down. “And who are you?”

“That’s something I would like to know as well,” Shining Armor stated as he stepped forward, removing the barrier that had been keeping them safe. He kept his eyes on the strange mare, not wanting to see the violent deaths she was responsible for.

“Well, I feel insulted,” she replied playfully, putting hoof to her chest in mock distress. “Have you forgotten the mare who made that lovely dress your wife wore on her wedding day?”

The stallion blinked before his features gave way to shock. “R-Rarity?” he asked. “You’ve been missing for three months! Everypony thought you were dead!”

“Well, as you can see, I am neither missing nor dead,” she replied with a smile. Her smile faded as she looked around Ponyville, noting the number of fallen Dogs and ponies. “What happened here?”

“The Dogs were after the Elements. Something about them being ‘Tools of the False Goddesses’, I think,” a unicorn explained. “They seemed kinda nuts.”

“False Goddesses? Oh dear,” Rarity muttered. “I didn’t think things were that bad.” She shook her head, her short mane bobbing slightly. “They didn’t capture anyone, did they?”

“Most of the townsfolk got away before the bulk of the mutts showed up,” the pegasus replied. “A few injuries, but nothing too serious.”

“Well that’s a relief,” the mare sighed.

“The other Bearers have been in Canterlot for a few days, now.”

“Storm, that’s classified information,” Shining replied, shooting a glare at the pegasus.

“Hey, it’s the Bearer of Generosity. She kinda deserves to know where her friends were.”

“I had no idea the guard was so informal,” Rarity muttered.

“This is nothing, ma’am,” one of the unicorns snorted. “You should see us off-duty.”

“For all we know, it could be an imposter.”

“Then zap her with that Changeling detection spell. Seriously, it can’t be that - ”

A Diamond Dog burst out of the ground without any kind of prior warning, wrapping its arms around the pegasus. “No-one move! Or pony dies!” it growled.

Before any of the guardsponies could react, there was a strange metallic paff and the Dog fell, a hole in its throat. As it coughed out a mouthful of blood, Rarity calmly walked up to it , her third and smallest weapon floating in her magic, and fired another round between her enemy’s eyes, cutting short his agony.

As they stared in shock at this incredibly casual act of violence, she holstered her pistol and turned to Shining Armor. “I don’t suppose a chariot to Canterlot is out of the question?”

Author's Note

Okay, this will follow the basic idea of the likes of Halo: On the Wings of Angels and Into the Black: A Mare's Tale. Of course, the obvious difference is that it's Rarity, and I'm dumping her in the Washington D.C ruins.

I've already got the basic idea for this Wanderer. It won't be Dom from my other story, but a new one.

Also, I'm after a picture of Rarity in combat armour.

Chapter 1: Reunion and a Super-Duper Encounter

Chapter 1: Reunion and a Super-Duper Encounter

A chariot ride had not been out of the question, and within the hour Rarity found herself bathing alone in a private suite in Canterlot Castle.

“Ohh, this is just splendid,” Rarity moaned as she reclined into the bath. She opened an eye and scrutinized one of her hooves. “Oh my, that is quite hideous.” Her gaze travelled up her leg towards the rest of her body. Her light frown twisted into disgust. “Ugh, never realised just how horrible that place was for my complexion. This is going to take months to fix.”

As the unicorn sat and scrubbed three months of filth from her body, a small group had gathered outside her suite. “Can you really believe Rarity is back?”

“Three months is an awful long time.”

“I hope she’s okay.”

“Where do you think she was, anyway?”

The four friends turned to their fifth. “Well, Pinkie?” Twilight started. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” the purple unicorn asked.

The suitably-named pink earth pony stared at the door with a frown. “I dunno, Twi. AJ’s right, three months is a really long time. What if she doesn’t remember us?”

Twilight chuckled. “Shiny told me she asked about us specifically. Of course she remembers us, Pinkie.”

There was a sigh of relief from the party pony. “Well that’s good. I was really worried about that for a moment.”

Suddenly, a loud screeching was heard. “Out, cursed spot! Out, I say!”

The friends laughed. “Well, that definitely sounds like Rarity!” Applejack exclaimed, turning to look at her friends with a smile.

“FUCK!”

They all cringed at the sudden, incredibly unladylike outburst. “Did... did Rarity just swear?” Rainbow asked, looking at the door in shock.

“I said out, you stupid bloodstain! Out, damn you!” came a second banshee wail.

“B-bloodstain?” Fluttershy stammered, the little pegasus taking a few steps back.

“Why is Deathclaw blood so hard to get out of fur!?” they heard over the sound of intense scrubbing.

“Death... claw?” Pinkie Pie asked hesitantly.

“Still can’t believe I had to stab it in the eye to finish it off.”

“Stabbed it in the eye?” Twilight asked, putting a hoof to her mouth to hold down her lunch.

“Okay, whoever’s in there, it ain’t Rarity,” Applejack said uneasily.

“But Shining Armor said it was,” Twilight replied uneasily.

“No, he said that it looked like her,” the farmer clarified. “And he was hidin’ something,” she added conspiratorially.

“What do you mean?” Rainbow whispered, leaning over.

“I dunno, but Ah know he only told us a half-truth.”

“Maybe wherever she’s been changed her,” Pinkie suggested from the side. The other ponies turned to look at her, eyebrows raised. “It’s been three months. Who knows where she ended up!”

“She did say something about a thing called Deathclaws...” Twilight muttered. “I haven’t read about nothing like that anywhere. Fluttershy? Have you ever heard of one of them?” The pegasus shook her head rapidly.

“So, what? Ya think Rares ended up on another planet or somethin’?” Applejack asked skeptically.

“We don’t know what happened, so we definitely can’t rule it out...”

“What are we waiting for?” Rainbow asked, hoof against the door. “Let’s just find out.”

The door swung open and the five ponies walked in. There was very little out of place, but their eyes were immediately drawn to the strange set of clothing on the floor.

“What the hay is this thing?” Rainbow grabbed the dull-green body armour and held it up for the others to see.

“It looks like armour, but I’ve never seen anything like that.” Twilight stepped closer to inspect it, but then started reversing. “There’s blood. On the inside.”

“You sayin’ that’s Rarity’s blood?” the farmer asked, morbid curiosity drawing her closer.

“I wonder what this thing is?” They turned to Pinkie Pie, who had managed to find a...

“What is that?” Twilight asked, head tilted as she examined the strange metal thing, almost as long as a pony. On one side was a scope, while on the opposite and closer to one of the ends was a trigger mechanism. It reminded the unicorn of a crossbow, but with nowhere to put the bolts she couldn’t be sure that was what it was.

“Never seen anythin’ like that before.”

“It looks... dangerous,” Fluttershy mumbled.

Rarity’s voice came drifting out of the bathroom. “I guess that’ll have to do,” she muttered. Water could be heard sloshing around as she pulled herself out, and the clip-clop of her hooves as she walked around.

“Knowin’ Rarity, she’ll spend hours in their prettyin’ herself up,” Applajack muttered.

“No, actually,” Rarity said, opening the bathroom door. “I won’t be,” she added cheekily.

“Rarity!” the five ponies yelled happily, Pinkie dropping the metal device back on the bed. Their smiles gave way to confusion when they really saw her.

“What...”

“Your mane!” Twilight exclaimed, pointing a hoof at Rarity.

“Are those scars?” Rainbow asked, a mix of awe and worry in her voice.

“What happened to ya?” Applejack was taking in the unicorn’s new form. Rarity had always been a bit on the slim side, true, but now she was all wiry, toned muscle. It was a strange contrast to the body that only a very careful and particular diet could maintain. “Have you been workin’ out?”

“One question at a time, please,” Rarity pleaded, raising a hoof. There was a pregnant pause “Oh, how I’ve missed you all!” she screamed, abandoning all pretense of poise and jumping forwards, grabbing them all in a tight hug that told them what words couldn’t.

“Where did you go?” Pinkie asked, the first to break the silence.

Rarity let them go and wiped away at the happy tears. “Oh, it was dreadful. The most terrifying three months of my life.”

“Where were you?”

“It wasn’t anywhere in Equestria. It wasn’t even Earth! Well, our Earth, anyway,” she added as an afterthought.

“Wait, ‘our’ Earth?” Twilight asked. “What do you mean by that?”

“Exactly what I said, dear. A different Earth.”

“You met aliens!?” Rainbow asked loudly, flying right into Rarity’s face, pushing the other unicorn away roughly.

“Yes, well...” she looked down at her hooves awkwardly, where her fetlocks had grown quite long. “You could say that.”

“Rarity?” Applejack asked softly, worried for her friend. “Just what happened?”

“You must understand, I’ve changed.”

“We kinda gathered that from the swearing,” Rainbow replied flatly.

The unicorn’s ears flattened. “You heard that?” When they nodded, she sighed. “Just one of the bad habits I picked up there.”

“Where is ‘there’, anyway?” Twilight asked, rubbing her head from where her pegasus friend’s hoof had collided with it. “You still haven’t told us.”

Rarity bit her lip, trying to think of the best way to explain. “Well, you may as well take a seat. I get the feeling we’re going to be here awhile.” As her friends sat on the ground, she took a deep breath. “Imagine a world that... no, that doesn’t work,” she muttered. “The place I spent the last three months is called the Capital Wasteland by its inhabitants,” she started. “There aren’t many safe places to live, sadly.”

“Capital... Wasteland?” Twilight asked, sounding very worried about what the name implied. “Why is it called that?”

“Because that’s exactly what it is. The two-hundred year old ruins of a nation’s capital and the area that surrounds it. Some of the monsters there make what you can find in the Everfree look as gentle as Angel.” Rarity then shuddered. “Some of the people there make Sombra look like a saint,” she added.

“Is that even possible?” Rainbow asked loudly, unable to believe that.

“Oh, believe me it is.” The unicorn’s horn glowed and a small amber bottle levitated from a pocket in her armour. “Whiskey?” she asked as she unscrewed the lid.

“Since when did you start drinkin’ whiskey?” Applejack stared at her friend and the bottle in shock.

“Two months ago,” she answered smartly. “No-one?” She shrugged and took a swig. “As I was saying,” she continued as she set the bottle down, “I’d compare the place to Tartarus, but it doesn’t do it justice.”

“How did you survive?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“I had help.”

“Help?”

“Yes, a woman called Megan.”

“Wait, ‘woman’?” Twilight asked, eyes widening at that. “Isn’t that - ”

“A female human? Yes.” Now it was Rarity’s turn to be confused. “How do you know about them?”

“There’s an old book, thousands of years old, that mentions them. It doesn’t really say much, though,” the lavender mare replied.

“What the hay’s a hooman?” Applejack asked.

“A kind of bald ape. But that’s not important,” Rarity replied dismissively. “I should tell you about the first time we met.”

“Get back here, bitch!”

Megan slammed through the old door to the Super-Duper Mart at high speed. Her thin, Armoured Vault-Suit did nothing to dampen the impact. The angry raiders chasing after her were a good reason to not bother with it, though. “Fucking hell, Moira,” she muttered angrily, gripping the edge of the door. “You did not tell me about this.”

She waited for the right moment. She had to time this perfectly or it wouldn’t work. Now! She slammed the door shut and was rewarded with the sound of half a dozen raiders running straight into it.

Megan couldn’t wait for them to extricate themselves, though. This was her chance to get away, and she was not going to waste it. She bolted as fast as she could, her 10mm rattling around in its holster and the old assault rifle on her back bouncing with each step. There was also the small bag of supplies she had managed to scavenge, pre-War food and medicine.

She came to a stop behind the store, easily a three-minute sprint. There was no time to catch her breath, though, and she jumped into one of the dumpsters that had sat there since before the war. As she huddled in a dark corner, breathing heavily, she unholstered her pistol and pointed it at the closed lid, waiting.

Megan spent a whole ten minutes lying in centuries-old trash. When nothing happened, she calmed down and climbed out. “That... was terrifying,” she muttered, brushing her now-filthy blonde hair out of her face. “I gotta bring a shotgun next time.”

She wearily began the half-hour trek from Super-Duper Mart back to Megaton, keeping an eye out for raiders and animals. It was neither of those things that caught her attention, though. It was something that stood out against the browns of the Wasteland clearly, something very... white.

Author's Note

The Deathclaw's weakness is indeed the eyes. Fallout 3 and New Vegas just simplified it to headshots.
Sorry about the rather long delay. Writer's Block fucking sucks. I knew how the first meeting would go. Have for a while. Getting there, though...
And, just to make sure no-one says anything stupid, this is a different Lone Wanderer.

Chapter 2: Welcome to... The God-Forsaken Hellhole!

“Is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s a white unicorn, then yes.” Megan waited for Sheriff Lucas Simms to answer. When he nodded and stared at the creature in her arms in disbelief, she sighed. “Nice to know I haven’t gone crazy yet.”

“Just what do you plan on doing with that thing?” Simms asked, nodding at it.

“Take it back to my place, try and wake it up. Always wanted a pony,” the former vault dweller added, happily.

The sheriff sighed and brought a hand to his face. “Look, lady, I don’t care what you do with that thing, but it’s your responsibility. I will not have that... unicorn running around town.” From the black man’s tone it was immediately clear that he couldn’t believe he had just said that.

“I’ll take care of it, I promise,” Megan said, hugging the limp form. Simms just let out an aggravated sigh and turned around.

“What’s his problem?” She looked at the still-unconscious unicorn in her arms. She looked again at its pristine white coat, its immaculately groomed purple mane and tail. “Do you already have an owner?” she asked quietly. “How can you be so clean?”

Deciding that these matters weren’t of any dire importance, the young woman made for her shack. After defusing the (rather primitive) bomb that Megaton was named for, the sheriff had decided to give her a house as a way of saying thanks. It was nothing compared to the Vault she had grown up in, but it was something.

“Welcome home, madam.” The Mister Handy that came with the home, Wadsworth, set her a little on edge. Something about it was just off. Andy, Vault 101’s Mister Handy, was very friendly, but something about this one just seemed strange, as though it was plotting to murder her in her sleep. Not that it could ever do such a thing, but... “How was your day?

“Hello, Wadsworth,” Megan replied, pushing those thoughts from her mind. “Got shot at, nearly died. The usual.” She looked off to the side, shocked with herself. “How is that normal?”

“No idea, madam,” the robotic butler replied drolly. “By the way, just what are you carrying?”

“A unicorn.”

There was a slight pause as the robot processed that. “A unicorn.”

“Yes, a unicorn.”

“Excuse me for asking, but just where did you find a unicorn, of all things?”

“Just... lying on the ground. No idea how it got there, though.” She made her way up the stairs and set the creature down on her bed. “I hope it wakes up soon.” She opened the small fridge and pulled out a bottle of Nuka-Cola. Just after she pulled off the cap she realised something quite important. “Ah crap, how am I meant to feed it?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!” Megan cringed at the sudden, high-pitched noise. “Where am I!?”

“I believe your guest has awoken,” Wadsworth said flatly.

“Did... did the unicorn just talk?” Megan asked quietly, unable to believe just what she was asking.

“Unless you brought another woman or feminine man home with you, yes.”

“That must’ve been scary.”

“Oh, you have no idea. Waking up on that filthy mattress in a hut made of scrap metal? Of course, what came right after was even worse.”

Rarity looked around the room in a panic. This was most certainly not her bedroom. Judging by the smell of the air, she wasn’t in Ponyville either. Had she been kidnapped? It certainly wasn’t out of the question, what with international tensions rising.

She could hear voices from below. Wherever she was, she was on the second, perhaps third floor. She would use this to her advantage, but there wasn’t a window to escape from. The only way in or out was the door.

“Hey.” The mare turned sharply to the door. Someone female was trying to talk to her. “Are you okay?”

“I am most certainly am not!” she replied vehemently. “You’ve kidnapped me and are holding me hostage! I demand that you release me immediately!”

“Hostage?” the other voice sounded shocked. “No! No, I found you unconscious out in the Wastes. I brought you here for safety.”

“The Wastes?” Now Rarity was scared. She had never heard of such a place. “Where am I?”

“Um, my house in Megaton.”

“Megaton?”

“In the Capital Wasteland.”

“Capital... Wasteland?” she asked timidly, now on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.

There was a brief silence. “I’m going to open the door now,” the other voice said unevenly.

“Okay.” Rarity had no idea what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t what she saw.

“Umm...” Megan had no idea what to say. There was a talking unicorn in her bedroom. Ten years ago this would have made her so happy. Now, she was questioning her own sanity. The only thing that made things marginally better was that Wadsworth had heard her speak as well. “Hi?”

“H-hello,” Rarity stammered. What was that thing at the door? It’s face reminded her of those pictures of apes she had seen in her little sister’s school books. It was almost completely bald, except for some blonde hair on its head that went just past its neck. It had a flat face, blue eyes and a worried expression.

“I’m Megan. Do... do you have a name?” it... she asked.

“R-Rarity.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Rarity.” The creature stuck out a claw, causing the mare to back away in fear. “Handshake?” Megan asked carefully.

“Oh.” Rarity felt a little silly. She was just trying to be friendly. She hesitantly put her own hoof out, letting Megan grab it. She flinched when she felt the ape-thing touch her, but relaxed when she gripped lightly and made a shaking motion. “What are you?” she asked suddenly.

“I’m a human,” Megan answered.

“I’ve never met a human before,” Rarity replied, trying to keep the conversation mundane.

“And I’ve never met a unicorn, so that makes two of us.” The woman laughed nervously. “So...”

“Do you have something I could drink?” the mare asked.

“Oh.” The simple request caught Megan off-guard. “Um, sure.” She stuck a hand into one of the pouches of her vault suit and extracted a bottle. “Here.”

The unicorn took the bottle gladly in her magic and emptied it, some of it spilling out onto her coat. When she was done, she was treated to the sight of the human staring at her in shock.

“How are you doing that?” she asked, pointing at the floating bottle in shock.

“It’s simple magic,” Rarity cautiously explained. “Every unicorn can do it.”

Megan stood there for a moment. “Holy shit! I found a magical talking unicorn!” she exclaimed happily before breaking out in high-pitched giggling.

“We’re all proud of you, madam,” came a metallic, strangely masculine voice from elsewhere.

Megan turned around with a frown. “Shut up, you steaming pile of scrap!” she yelled. “I can rip you apart, you know!”

“Oh, we both know you rely on me too much to even think of doing that,” Wadsworth replied smugly as he floated into view behind Megan.

Rarity’s hooves scrabbled as she pushed herself away, staring in horror. “What is that!?”

“What did it look like?”

“Basically, a ball with six legs, three longer ones closer to the bottom. The top three had smaller balls, which served as eyes.”

“How did it float?”

“Some kind of jet on the bottom.”

“That is my personal robot butler, Wadsworth,” Megan answered, worried by the pony’s reaction.

“Oh don’t worry, madam, I’m perfectly harmless,” Wadsworth said cheerfully to Rarity. “I exist to serve, after all.”

Rarity let out a nervous giggle and swallowed. “Please, do forgive my behaviour. You simply scared me.”

“Consider yourself forgiven, madam Rarity.” With that Wadsworth floated away.

After a few moments Rarity dusted herself off and cleared her throat. Megan rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “I guess you don’t have anywhere to stay...”

“No, I’m afraid not, and I left my purse at home,” the unicorn replied smartly. “I don’t suppose I could stay here?” she asked.

“I’ll have to scrounge up another mattress, but sure. Beats just having Wadsworth around,” she commented. “He scares me a little.”

“I heard that!” the robot replied.

“I don’t care!” Megan yelled back.

“Could you ask him to run a bath for me?” Rarity asked.

“A... a bath?” the human asked, staring at the mare. When she nodded, Megan burst out into laughter.

Explaining to Rarity that a bath was not going to be possible unless she wanted to become irradiated had not gone over well.

“You did not have to throw that bottle at my head.”

“Being far from home is one thing, but not being able to bathe?” Rarity shuddered. “This is the worst possible thing.” Megan decided to avoid mentioning that she was only going to get dirtier and dirtier. “Just how am I meant to keep myself clean?”

“You’re not the only one who has to adjust, y’know,” she muttered. “Until a week ago, I was able to have a shower every second day.” The woman frowned at a wall as she sat on the bed.

“And just what does irradiated mean?”

“Most of the water and pretty much all the food you’ll find is slightly poisonous.”

While the news was shocking, the casual indifference of the statement was perhaps worse. “P-p-poison!?” Rarity’s gaze turned to the now-empty bottle, which had just recently bounced off of Megan’s head. “You poisoned me!?”

“What? No! I gave you a bottle of the purified stuff, completely clean, I promise.”

“Everything you ate was poisonous?”

“You look fine to me.”

“Yes, well, they had some sort of medicine that was mass-produced before the war that turned the place into Tartarus on Earth.”

“Don’t expect to get much more, though, that stuff is expensive.” Megan stood up. “Well, no point sitting here doing nothing, may as well show you around town.”

“I’m perfectly fine sitting here doing nothing, thank you very much.” Rarity planted herself on the floor, doing an admirable job of ignoring the rust and dirt that was everywhere.

“I promised to take you to the sheriff when you woke up,” the woman lied. “He wants to make sure you’re not going to be a threat.” That, at least, was the truth.

“Fine.” The pair exited the house slowly, Rarity doing her best to step carefully. Already her coat had lost some of its lustre, and her mane looked as though the colour was slowly being leached from it.

As they walked around the shanty town’s catwalks, Rarity did her best to ignore the stares. After a while, though, she couldn’t take it anymore. “I like attention as much as the next girl, but this is getting ridiculous.”

“You remember how I said I’ve never seen a unicorn before? Neither has anyone else,” Megan explained. “So, naturally, they’re a little curious. Get used to it,” she added.

“And it looks like most of them are wearing scraps,” the unicorn went on.

“Kind of because they are. You try finding decent clothing in a post-apocalytic shithole,” she said in response the mare’s horrified expression. “The best you’ll find is an old jumpsuit.”

“Like that horrible blue thing you’re wearing?”

“Hey, this thing has saved my life,” Megan replied angrily.

Rarity continued to look around. “They all seem so depressed.”

“I dunno, everyone I’ve run into seems okay with life. Ah, there he is. Sheriff!” Megan called out, waving to the man with the duster and cowboy hat standing just outside Craterside Supply.

“Ah, Megan,” Simms replied as he turned around. “Mind explaining just what that screaming was earlier?” he asked, barely glancing at the pony.

“Er, funny story.” Lucas stared at her flatly. “Sheriff, meet Rarity.”

“Really? That’s the name you gave it?” he asked, looking at the mare with something that could be called disinterest. “You couldn’t think of anything better?”

“Well, you’ll have to take it up with my parents, if you think my name is so ridiculous,” Rarity replied angrily.

The black man did a double-take when he realised just what happened. “Did... did you just talk?”

“Yes, I did. I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but - ”

“Calm down! I don’t want you pissing off the sheriff,” Megan pleaded.

“Apologies, ma’am. You caught me off guard.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “The name’s Lucas Simms, sheriff and mayor of Megaton.”

“Rarity,” the mare replied with a curt nod.

They stood there in awkward silence for a moment. “Well, this was nice,” Megan said nervously. “I need to speak to Moira now.”

Author's Note

We all know Rarity loves being dramatic, but I think she'd know when to tone it down. Also, she would seem to know when there's no point in complaining. She can't have a bath, so why bother trying to argue with the simple reality of the situation?

Chapter 3: First Time?

“Hey, Megan, how did the scavving go?”

“It’s a raider base,” Megan spat. “There must have been twenty of the bastards in there. I had to activate an old robot to distract them long enough for me to get away.” She let out a sigh. “Thank god they can’t shoot straight.”

“Yeah, that’s usually the case with raiders,” Moira mused, nodding her head. “Did you find the supplies?”

“Some old food in a bunch of fridges. The pharmacy was locked, though, had to look for the key.”

“So they keep the best things locked up?” Craterside Supply’s proprietor asked. When the blonde researcher nodded, she picked up a clipboard and scribbled something on it. “That seems like something important.”

At that moment Rarity chose to open the door. “Don’t just disappear like that!” she complained as she stepped inside the store. “I have no idea where anything is in this town!”

Moira and her store guard just stared at her. “Megan? Is that - ?”

“Yes she’s a unicorn, her name is Rarity, I found her ten minutes from town and I have no idea how she got there,” Megan rattled off a list of answers for questions she was sure Moira would have asked.

“What a... charming place,” Rarity muttered as she took in the murky surroundings.

“Yeah, it’s not much, but it works for me.”

“Honestly, Moira was like a combination of Twilight and Pinkie.”

The others stared at the named mares. “That... how?”

“Twilight’s love for knowledge and Pinkie’s... Pinkie-ness. Very nice, though.”

“Megan, this is for you.” Moira pulled out a strange box-thing. On top was some sort of fan, and one side was consisted of a large grill.

“Wow, thanks,” Megan said warily, taking the device. “I’ve always wanted one of these?” she added.

“You don’t even know what that is.”

As the field researcher turned to shoot a glare at Rarity, Moira laughed. “Oh, don’t worry. I never expected you to know. Which is why it comes with an instruction manual!” She pulled out a tattered booklet, which Rarity took with her magic.

“Tastee Cleen Sanitizer?” she muttered as she read it. “Removes harmful bacteria from food and drink?”

“Wait, really?” Megan looked at the machine she held with shock. “You’re fine just giving this thing to me? It’s gotta be worth thousands!”

“Actually, these things are pretty common. Normally, I’d sell it to Moriarty or the Brass Lantern, but their sanitzers are still fine. I should get another in a few weeks. Take it. You deserve it!”

“Wow, um, I don’t know what to say.”

“Thank you so much.” Rarity spoke up, filling the void left by Megan’s speechlessness. “You are far too kind.”

“Oh stop it,” Moira replied bashfully. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“So, what’s next?” Megan asked, still clutching the food sanitizer.

“Oh, right.” The shopkeeper cleared her throat. “The last part of Chapter 1 involves explosives.”

“Oh boy.”

“It won’t be that bad.”

“That’s what you said about Super-Duper Mart. And the radiation poisoning. So far, I’ve been slightly mutated and shot at.” To make her point, Megan raised her right hand. Rarity hadn’t noticed it before, but the skin on the back seemed deformed, as though it had been melted. How the woman wasn’t in pain was beyond her.

“I said I was sorry about that!” Moira replied, upset that her assistant was bringing that up. “And it won’t be as bad this time!”

“Really?” Megan shot back sceptically.

“Honest! No-one goes anywhere near where I’m sending you.”

“Surely there’s a good reason for that,” Rarity chipped in, having finished reading the booklet.

“Everyone thinks the place is haunted,” came the dismissive reply. “But everyone knows there’s no such thing as ghosts.”

“Where exactly are you sending me, anyway?” Megan asked, leaning against the counter.

“A place called Minefield.”

“Minefield.” A flat stare was all Moira got from her beleaguered researcher. “You want me to walk into a place called Minefield. What part of this seems like a good idea to anyone?”

“There are plenty of explosives there, and the place is deserted. The only problems you’ll have is walking there and back.”

“And just how far is Minefield from here, anyway?”

Moira bit her lip as she tried to recall. “About a four hour walk, I think. Maybe five. It’s north-east of Megaton, too.”

Megan sighed. “Well, I’ll get going tomorrow then.”

“Thank you,” she cheerfully replied. “Bring me back a landmine to pull apart, and there’ll be something extra for you.”

“Before I go, though, two things.” The old assault rifle was laid down on the counter. “Can you take a look at this thing for me? I honestly have no idea just what condition this thing is in.”

“Easy,” Moira replied smugly. “What’s the second?”

“You have something Rarity can wear?”

Rarity and Moira both gave her weird looks. The mare was the first to speak up. “I appreciate the sentiment, but...”

“I don’t exactly have anything for a unicorn,” the woman added. “I mean, I could modify something, but that could take days.”

“Oh, I can do that myself.” Rarity sounded incredibly proud. “I’m a dressmaker back... home...” Her voice trailed off when she realised what she had said. “Oh no. My friends. My family. They must be so worried.”

“What’s she talking about?” Moira whispered.

“When she woke up, she thought she’d been kidnapped.”

“How am I going to get back!?” she wailed.

“Rarity?”

“Leave me alone!”

Dammit, Rarity, it’s not healthy!”

“I don’t care!”

Megan groaned and slumped against the door. “Do you want to come with me or not?”

“Why would I want to do that!?”

“At least you’re not crying anymore,” the woman muttered. “Because I figure you might want to find out about where you are,” she said louder. “And I could really use someone to watch my back.”

The door to the spare room creaked open and Rarity poked her head out. She glared at her with red eyes and a tear-stained face. “You... trust me that much?”

“Well... I don’t exactly know anyone else, so...”

“I’m your only option?” she asked unhappily. “Well, I guess you’re right,” she sighed. “Sitting here moping isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

“Great.” Megan’s voice held so much relief it was almost tangible. “Moira had this lying around, too.” She held up the bundle of dark clothing.

Rarity took it in her magic and held the garments out. “Ugh, this is terrible. You expect me to wear this?”

“Your white coat stands out. This’ll help hide that,” Megan reasoned. “And you won’t get as dirty with something on.”

“Fine,” Rarity conceded. “I suppose it’s only sensible. I’ll need fifteen minutes.”

Fifteen minutes later, on the dot, the mare stepped out, wearing a modified leather jacket, a number of belts wrapped around her body to keep the clothing from hanging loosely. Covering her hindquarters and rear legs were a pair of altered jeans, more belts keeping the cloth close to her legs. “Well, this turned out much better than expected, I’ll admit.”

Megan looked at the mare and nodded. “Not bad.”

“Not bad?” she asked. “Not bad?” The unicorn let out a laugh. “For something done without any of my usual equipment, not to mention the difference in species, I’d say I’ve done well.” She kicked out with a hind leg. “Still not used to wearing pants, though,” she muttered, rubbing the old denim self-consciously. “Can’t see why mother insists on...”

“Rarity?” Megan asked warily.

“I... I’m okay.”

The woman could see that the pony was lying, but decided to play along. “Well, you’ll need this too.” She held out a 10mm pistol, holster and all, expecting Rarity to take it.

“What is that?” the mare asked.

Megan was dumbfounded. “You don’t know what a gun is?”

“A gun?” she asked innocently.

“Umm... A weapon.” The reaction for this piece of information was not one she expected.

“You want me to carry a weapon?” Rarity’s voice was calm, but the anger in her voice was clear. “No, I am not going to do such a thing.”

“I’m not asking you to murder anyone!” Megan defended herself. “It’s for self-defense!”

“I have my magic for that, thank you very much.”

“What if your magic doesn’t do anything to whatever attacks us?” That argument shut the mare up quickly. “I know that that gun will most definitely work. We won’t know with your magic, and you could get killed trying to find out.” Megan took a quick breath before using her next point. “You want to get home alive, right?”

“Of course I do!” she spat vehemently. “Somehow, though, I get the feeling that staying here would be safer then.”

Megan backpedalled quickly. “Hey, you want me to die out there?” she asked, attempting to appeal to her sense of guilt. “I’m the only one you actually know, and Simms is liable to kick you out if I don’t come back.”

That was enough to sway the mare. She took the holster and attached it to her outfit. “Fine. I won’t use it unless I have to, though.”

“That’s all I need to hear,” Megan replied in relief.

“That was... kind of cold.”

“Yes, but she was concerned for her safety. I honestly can’t be angry at her.”

“This is a river?” Rarity practically screeched as she waded through the puddles of what was left of the Potomac.

“Well, it was.” Megan shook her foot to get the sludge off, her assault rifle bouncing against her back. “I wouldn’t drink that if my life depended on it.”

“Likewise,” the unicorn muttered. She looked around the blasted countryside, looking at the dust and dirt. “What could inspire anyone to do this?”

“No idea, Rarity.”

“And that school we passed. I do hope there was no-one in there when all this happened.”

Megan gulped. “No idea,” she lied. In truth, she had cleared the place out a few days earlier. Doc Church had to pull half a dozen bullets out of her legs and arms when she came back to town. The place had left her so very depressed that she even had whiskey from Moriarty’s Saloon, despite knowing that he pissed in the still. She just needed the drinks that bad.

They progressed in relative silence for a few hours. What time they did spend talking was Megan giving the unicorn a beginner’s course on gun use. “Just how much farther is it?”

Megan gave Rarity a strange look. “I honestly expected you to ask that a lot earlier,” she answered as she climbed up the hill.

“Moira did say four hours,” the mare said with an eyeroll. “Surely it’s been longer than that.”

“Yeah, about four and a half.” The woman froze and put her hand out suddenly. “Shh.”

“Why? What’s happeni - mhh!” Her question went unfinished as Megan put her hand over her mouth.

“What the fuck are we even doing out here anyway?”

“I don’t know. How about you ask Tim? Oh, that’s right, you’re a fucking coward.”

“Both of you, shut up,” came a third, much more forceful voice. There was something definitely male about it “I’ll shoot both of you.”

“We know you ain’t got the balls for that,” the first voice replied. It had been hard to tell at first, but it belonged to a female.

“As for what we’re doing here,” the third voice said, seemingly having ignored the first, “Tim wants us to make sure no-one goes near the old scrapyard. No fucking idea why he wants that shithole, but a cockmunch like you doesn’t need to know.”

“Raiders,” Megan hissed at the unicorn. “Rapists and murderers, all of them.”

“Rapists? Murderers?” Rarity’s eyes went wide with panic.

Megan carefully unslung her assault rifle. “Walk away. Just walk away...” she muttered. “For the LOVE of god, walk away...”

“What are we going to do?” The mare looked around, trying to find a way out or a place to hide. The only thing that would work as concealment was a dry, dead bush about fifty yards away.

“If they walk away, nothing. If they find us...” The woman pulled back the bolt of her rifle and rested the stock against her shoulder. “We fight back.”

“Fight back?”

“I don’t like it either, okay?” Megan’s hands shook. “But it’s us or them. And I’d rather it’s us that walk away alive.”

“Hey, did you guys hear that?” The second voice, another male one, was worryingly close to where they were.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I swear I heard voices.” Now, footsteps could be heard approaching. “I think they were over here.”

A man with tan skin, short black hair and wearing scrap metal, spikes and tattered leather came into the pair’s view. Half a second after they saw him, he saw them. “Holy shit!”

Megan opened fire, sending a six-round burst right into the raider’s gut. The man fell heavily, but the gunfire drew the man’s friends.

“Hey, over here!”

“No-one shoots my buddy but me!”

As the other two raiders, wearing clothing a lot like their now-deceased friend, came into view. Again, Megan opened fire, this time emptying the rest of the rifle’s magazine in their direction. Unfortunately, only one of them, the woman, fell. The man took two bullets in the arm but kept on coming, a lead pipe in his hand. “You fuckers!” he screamed, apparently not noticing that one of them was a unicorn.

As Megan fumbled with the reload, four gunshots sounded. As the raider fell, two bullets lodged in his throat, one through his eye, she turned to Rarity.

The unicorn stood there, her pistol levitating in front of her face, perfectly still. On her face was a terrified, horrified expression. “I... I killed him. I just killed him.”

Author's Note

I honestly do think that would be the best way to describe Moira.
Rarity modified a Merc Troublemaker Outfit.

Chapter 5: The Thing At The Place

“Get it away from me!” Rarity screeched.

“Calm down, it’s just a radroach!” Megan pleaded.

“It’s hideous!” the mare replied, shooting at it with her 10mm.

The woman watched with raised eyebrows as Rarity quite eagerly attempted to murder the giant insect. “Stop wasting ammo!” she yelled over the gunfire. She stepped over to the ‘roach and planted her foot right through its shell, creating a sickening crunch and causing bug guts to coat her boot. Her newly-acquired sniper rifle bounced against her assault rifle.

As Rarity slid a new magazine into her pistol, she shuddered. “How can you not be disgusted by those things?”

“Vault 101 had more than a few ‘roach infestations. One time, I got a bottle of whiskey and an old pilot light.” She smiled as memories of a happier time surfaced. “Those fuckers burned.” She looked up at the ceiling. “There’s more upstairs. This time, actually hit them.”

Rarity huffed and held her snout up. “Well excuse me for panicking. I’ve just never seen anything like those... ‘radroaches’ before.”

“You came from a land that runs on magic and rainbows. How could you not have giant insects?”

“I’m not saying we don’t, just never anything so... horrible.”

“Well, radroaches aren’t the worst. I’ve seen ants as long as I am tall,” the woman explained as she led Rarity through the house, taking care to kill every ‘roach.

“Oh my goodness.” The unicorn brought a hoof to her mouth and gasped as she saw what was on the bed of the main bedroom.

“Oh jeez.” Megan cringed at the sight of two aged skeletons, the bones stained brown from two centuries of dirt or, more likely, decomposing flesh. “At least they died together?” she said unsurely in an attempt to try and make the situation seem better than it was. Her eyes flicked over to the bedside table, where she saw an empty bottle and a Med-X syringe. “And it wasn’t the bombs that killed them, either.”

“What do you mean?” Rarity asked, giving the bed a wide berth.

“They mixed alcohol and painkillers. Died sleeping. Died peacefully.”

“And that wasn’t the last time we saw something like that, either.”

“So a lot of folks went and... offed themselves?”

“It wasn’t like they were going to survive anyway. Better to go like that instead of... well, it would have been a slow death.”

“God, that reeks!”

“Oh goodness...” There was a thump as Rarity fainted at the sight of the decomposing body.

“Great,” Megan muttered. This was the least dilapidated of the houses they had checked, and she was not going to sleep under the stars because of a rotting corpse. But she didn’t want to touch it so she could move it outside. “This is gonna suck.”

Ten minutes later, the corpse was now resting against the outer wall of the house, three feet from the door. It was bound to be an unpleasant surprise in the morning, but that could wait. “Rarity, wake up,” she said quietly, shaking the unicorn. When that failed to achieve anything, she slapped her. While that did succeed in waking the mare, it also resulted in a blast of magic sending Megan across the room. “Ow!”

“What?” Rarity asked as she looked around.

“What was that for!?” the woman asked as she brushed herself off.

“What was what for?”

“Blasting me across the room like that!”

“I did?” To Megan’s increasing disbelief, the mare seemed completely innocent.

“Self-defense mechanism?” she asked, her anger fading.

“But I’ve never done anything like that before,” Rarity replied, sounding worried.

“Really? That can’t be good.”

“A unicorn’s magic acting without any sort of conscious input, it’s dangerous. They might exhaust themselves, or hurt somepony they care for,” she explained.

“From what you told me, you’ve been thrust into a dangerous world from a peaceful one.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Rarity looked at a wall as she thought of what she had been through so far. The event that stood at the forefront of her mind was the fact that she had killed someone. She had killed before, but that was simply swatting a fly or squashing a bug. This was different, she had killed a thinking being, one that could have possibly been talked out of it. She stopped that train of thought, only depression lay further.

“Well, the place is clean now,” Megan said loudly, referring to the moved corpse. “Let’s go upstairs and see what the beds are like.”

The beds were in rather good shape, albeit dusty from two centuries of neglect. Unfortunately, one of the rooms was too painful for Rarity to enter.

“So it’s a kid’s room, so what?”

“I have a little sister!” the mare yelled back, on the verge of tears.

Megan facepalmed at her amazing lack of sensitivity. “Shit. Sorry! I didn’t know. You never told me.”

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have yelled,” Rarity admitted, wiping at her eyes. “But I’m not sleeping in there.”

“Fine,” Megan conceded. “But neither am I. I’m too big for those beds.”

“Well, we could share the big one,” Rarity suggested.

“That’ll work. Never slept on the same bed as a unicorn, though,” the woman said.

“And I have never slept with a woman.” When Megan burst into laughter, Rarity looked at her. “What?”

“You’ve never slept with a woman?” she asked through her laughter.

“Well, no, I - oh!” Rarity picked up a plate that was on the floor and flung it at the blonde. “You are so immature!” The only response she got was more laughter.

Megan woke up the next morning to a growling stomach. Only it wasn’t her’s. “Didn’t she eat anything last night?” she mumbled. She stood up and walked around to face the pony. “What the...? Rarity?” she asked quietly, noting the tear-stains on her face. “Are you okay?”

“No... No!” The mare shot up suddenly, looking around in panic. “What?” she asked, taking in her surrounding and remembering where she was. “Oh thank goodness.”

“You’re glad you woke up in the Capital Wasteland?” Megan asked, looking at the unicorn like she had lost her mind.

“If it means what I just dreamt never happened, then yes,” she replied, sounding shaken.

“What did you dream about, anyway?” The pair made their way downstairs, their steps kicking up dust.

“... My friends abandoning me.” Rarity mumbled. “The five ponies I care for the most in the world, telling me they want nothing to do with me.”

“Like that would happen,” Megan replied calmly as she stepped into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and looked around. “Ooh, Salisbury Steak!”

“After what I’ve done, I’m not sure they want anything to do with me,” she mumbled again, taking a seat on one of the old chairs at equally-old table.

“I’m sure they’ll understand. Self-defense and all that.” Megan tore open the box and sniffed the contents. “Still smells fine.”

“But what if they don’t?”

“Then get new friends.”

Rarity stared agape as the woman chewed happily on her breakfast. “What?”

“If they can’t understand, they don’t deserve to have you as a friend. Simple as that.” The statement would have been a bit more poignant if it weren’t for the small bits of preserved meat that came out with it, but the impact of the words remained the same. “If they are your friends, they won’t care about that.”

“You’re right.” Rarity looked at the table and chuckled. “I really must have more faith in them.” Her stomach chose that moment to loudly announce that it required filling. “Eh-heh,” she laughed weakly, the blood rushing to her face.

“Check the cupboards, you might find something.” She finished her breakfast and tossed the box into one of the room’s corners. The way she saw things, there was no way they would ever be back in this part of the Wastes, and there was no-one to tell her to not throw random things wherever she wanted outside of whatever few settlements there actually were. It was also a very nice, if mild, form of stress relief. Not that she necessarily needed it, but throwing stuff always helped her relax.

“Sugar Bombs? Sounds like something Sweetie would enjoy,” Rarity muttered.

“Those are good. A little stale, but they’ll give you plenty of energy.” Megan left the room. “I saw a safe upstairs. I’m gonna try and force it open, might be something nice in there.”

Rarity ate in silence. True, the cereal was stale and had lost most of its flavour, but she could still taste the chocolate. For something called ‘Sugar Bombs’, they were surprisingly mild in their sweetness. Normally, she wouldn’t eat two bowls of cereal in one sitting, let alone an entire box, but this box was smaller than the ones in Equestria (or so it seemed), and she was starved.

“Fuck yeah!” she heard Megan yell from upstairs.

“Look what I found!” the woman yelled happily, waving a pistol around. It was exactly like the 10mm she had given Rarity the day before, with one notable addition.

“What is that tube on the end?” Rarity asked.

“This is a suppressor. Makes it very nearly silent,” she proudly explained.

“And I’ve kept that gun ever since,” Rarity said, levitating the weapon in question. “Well, technically, anyway. I’ve had to replace so many of the parts that only half of the handle is from that first one.”

“Hey, you’re back!” Moira greeted the dusty pair as they entered Craterside Supply. “How are those hot little potatoes?” Megan just stared. “Because, you know, they’re on the ground.” More staring. “And hot, because they, um, explode.” Even more staring. “Anyway, what’s up?”

“There was a sniper, Moira. A fucking sniper.” Megan glared at the woman so intensely that she started backing away.

“I didn’t know! Everyone who’s been there said the town was abandoned!”

“Megan, remember what we said,” Rarity said, prodding the angry woman in the leg. “She didn’t know, it’s not her fault.”

The blonde woman took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “Right. Sorry, Moira, just, nearly got killed by an old man with a sniper rifle.” She reached into a pocket of her jumpsuit. “Anyway, we got out alive, and I have a present for you.” Megan was sorely tempted to activate the explosive as she handed it over, but realised that she couldn’t escape the resulting explosion.

Moira gasped in delight. “My very own landmine! Just what I’ve always wanted.” She took the device and hugged it. “Well, always since I sent you out on this, anyway.” She set the landmine down on her counter almost reverently. “Now, tell me about it. What was it like going through there? What’s it like disarming a landmine?”

“That whole town is a trap,” Megan explained. “The sniper definitely did not help. He was just waiting.”

“Hmm... That’s not particularly useful, but that’s a good way to describe minefields in general. Now,” Moira moved behind her counter, “I know you may not want to see any explosives for a while, but obviously you know your way around them.” She rummaged around in a box underneath for a few seconds. “Have a couple rainy-day toys of mine.”

Megan’s eyes lit up when Moira handed her four frag grenades. “Wow, thanks!”

“Also, looking at this landmine, it gives me an idea. It’s a terrible device that does terrible things, of course,” she quickly added when she noticed the looks she was getting. “But it’s easy enough to make your own, too.” She quickly scribbled something down on a loose bit of paper and handed it to the pair.

“That completes the first chapter’s tasks, correct?” Megan asked, sticking the bit of paper into a pocket. She would look at it later.

“Yup, you’ve done a great job! I just need to add in the section on how to cook rat, and this chapter’s done. Here, for your services, I’ve saved up quite a few Stimpaks.” She handed over a handful of them. “Of course, you may need them: we’ve still got two chapters to go,” she added cheerfully.

Megan sighed. “Look, Moira, I’m glad for the work, you know that, but... I wanna take a break, for a while anyway.” She prepared herself for pleading and begging.

“Oh, okay. Just come back when you’re ready to help again.”

She hadn’t expected that. “Uh, goodbye then.”

“Farewell,” Rarity added.

“Thank god we’re out,” Megan muttered as soon as the door shut behind them. “I swear the crazy is contagious.”

“Must be too late, you’re the one talking to a unicorn.” They both turned to see the town sheriff grinning at them. “Lookin’ good there, Miss Rarity,” he added with a tip of his hat.

“Thank you, sheriff,” the unicorn replied uneasily.

“What, nothing to say to me?” Megan replied in a huff.

“Not really,” Lucas replied with a shrug before walking off.

“Wadsworth, we’re back!”

“Welcome home, madams!” Wadsworth floated into view. “How was your day?”

“Rather peaceful, actually,” Rarity replied, walking past the robot. “If you’ll excuse me, I need my beauty sleep.”

“Beauty sleep sounds like a good idea.” Megan followed the unicorn up the stairs

“You certainly need it,” the robot whispered snidely, its comment going unheard by both of them as the doors to the bedrooms closed.

Author's Note

The ending is weak, I'm aware of that.

Interlude 1: A Proper Meal

A loud growling noise cut off story time. The other five ponies looked to the now-blushing Rarity. “I guess it has been a while since I last ate.”

“When was that?”

“It must have been three days ago,” the mare replied casually. Her friends stared at her in shock. “What?”

“How can you go three days without food?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Practice,” Rarity replied unhappily. “Food can sometimes be hard to find out in the Wasteland.”

“We need to get some food into you.” Pinkie’s tone was deathly serious. “I will not have one of my friends go hungry!” She got up and went to tug at Rarity’s tail, but the extreme shortness made it a very awkward situation. The pink mare quickly gave up and instead opted to pick her up and drape the mare on her back.

“Pinkie, I am perfectly capable of finding something to eat on my own.” Rarity removed herself and brushed herself off. “Though I could use directions,” she added, levitating her pistol and its holster towards her.

“Uhh, Rares, why you bringin’ that thing?” Applejack asked.

“Hmm?” It took her a moment to understand what the question was about. “Oh. Force of habit, I guess,” she muttered as she continued to strap it on. “I just feel vulnerable without it.”

“I’ve read about something like this,” Twilight mused as the group made their way to a private dining room. “A griffon who became so paranoid after a war that he went everywhere with his saber, even to bed.”

Rarity nodded. “I wouldn’t say I’m paranoid, though. ‘Practical’ would be the better word. You never know when something bad might happen out there.”

“I don’t get it,” Rainbow said, hovering two feet above them. “How are you so calm? Shouldn’t you be all, I dunno, jumping at every shadow or something?”

“Keeping a cool head is what keeps someone alive. Panicking at every little thing doesn’t end well.” Rarity stopped suddenly. “Is that...?” She sniffed at the air. “Freshly baked...”

“Cake!” Pinkie screamed, having picked up the smell herself. “I wonder what kind it is. Chocolate, or a cheesecake, or a sponge, or a gateau, or...” The pink mare stopped when she noticed the puddle of drool her friend had created. “Rarity, are you okay?”

“Cake...” she murmured, failing to notice what she was doing. “I haven’t had cake in three months...”

“WHAT!?” Pinkie Pie began to drag her friend off, leaving the rest standing there in confusion. “Okay, we’re gonna get some of that for you, ASAP!”

A chocolate-brown unicorn carefully added the last touches to the third cake and final cake. Ordinarily, Gateau would only make one for Princess Celestia, but one of the palace’s guests had a habit of stealing it away from right under his nose. That pink freak seemed to have command over some of the most basic laws of reality, and she was but an Earth pony!

The doors to the kitchen swung open. Gateau turned to see her. “Oh no you don’t!” he yelled, the other members of the kitchen staff backing away. “This one is for the Princess!”

“It’s an emergency!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, dragging Rarity into the kitchen with her.

“I don’t care if the moon is going to fall on Canterlot, nothing is going to let you get this cake!” He stepped in front of the Princess’ cake and pointed at one of the counters. “You want cake, then take those!” he shouted, gesturing at the two simple, bland, yet incredibly large cakes.

“They’ll have to do,” Pinkie murmured to herself. “Rarity, you stay right here.”

Gateau sighed in relief, thankful he had managed to avert this crisis. He glanced at the cake, making sure the pink she-devil hadn’t done something to it, and saw that it had remained untouched. When he looked back at the white mare, she saw her and her friend sitting at a small table, each of them with a cake in front of them. “Where did she get that table?”

Rarity stared at the cake Pinkie had put in front of her, her eyes wide with wonder. Three months of stale food and dirty water had left a horrible taste in her mouth, one that only good food could wash away. She levitated a fork and slowly, almost timidly, removed a chunk. She held it front of her eyes for a few moments, before carefully placing it in her mouth.

Her eyes seemed to widen even further as she abandoned all pretense of civility. She threw the fork away so hard it that it managed to embed itself into a nearby wall. The rest of her friends arrived to the scene of her mauling the poor cake like a starving wolf.

Author's Note

I know I'm kinda screwing around and having Rarity a little OOC, but just keep in mind: Would you be same if you've gone through that stuff? Plus, the mental image is just fucking hilarious.

Chapter 6: Thicker Than Water

“I’m so sorry.”

The six mares had retreated to Rarity’s suite so she could continue her story. Rarity’s face was crimson, even half an hour after her savage devouring of the cake. She had never done anything so humiliating in all her life.

“I’ve only ever seen Pinkie attack cake like that before,” Twilight said, trying to hold back a snicker.

“Yeah, never thought Ah’d see you do that.” Applejack was holding her hat over her face, to hide the massive grin she was wearing.

“Applejack, tell me, how would you react if, after three months without apples, you were presented with an entire bushel?” Rarity’s blush began to subside slightly as she stared at the farmer.

She lowered her hat as she thought about it. “Ah... guess Ah’d go a little crazy mahself,” she admitted. She placed her hat back where it belonged and toned her grin down. “Sorry for laughin’ at ya, Rares.”

“Oh, it’s fine Applejack.” The unicorn waved a hoof airily. She glanced over at Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, the pair still giggling. “I just wish those two would get over it so I could continue the story.”

“Don’t mind them, Rarity,” Fluttershy said quietly. “I want to hear more about this Megan. She seems quite interesting.”

“Oh, she is. How about I tell you about the time we went to Arefu?”

“Why are we doing this?”

“I’m getting paid.” To Megan, that was enough motivation.

“You barely know this woman,” Rarity argued.

“And we’ve hung around town for three days. I stepped on a goddamn frag mine for Moira!” she yelled. “Honestly, I just wanted to get the fuck out of town before I get roped into something equally stupid.”

“I still can’t believe you actually did that.” Rarity shook her head, muttering under her breath when she knocked her newly-acquired sniper rifle. “And just why did you give me this?”

“Because you can hold it steady. Steadier than I can, anyway,” she added. “That, and I doubt that you want to get too close to any more fights.”

“I’d rather not get into any fights at all,” the unicorn muttered, stepping over a rusted car door.

“Which is the whole point of a sniper rifle,” Megan calmly answered, walking around the wrecked car. “If you can kill them before we even have to fight, it’s perfect, right?”

“It still feels wrong,” Rarity mumbled.

“It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.” Megan sighed.

“That’s... quite profound, Megan,” Rarity commented. “You didn’t strike me as the type.”

“Read it in a book years ago. Never thought I’d be living it.” Megan froze. “There’s something behind us,” she whispered.

“What? I can’t hear anything.” As if to prove the pony wrong, something growled behind them.

“Oh crap.” Megan and Rarity turned around to see a large dog. It was missing large chunks of its fur, its ribs were very easy to see and its left ear had been torn off. “Rarity...”

The mare’s horn glowed as she reached for her pistol. She tried to look intimidating, but the way she kept glancing around ruined the effect. “What do we do?”

“It’s only one,” Megan muttered calmly as she pulled her assault rifle out of its sling. “This shouldn’t be a prob - ” She cut herself off and looked around, her expression turning into one of frustration. “Fate, you bitch,” she spat.

Three more dogs, each one malnourished and looking at the pair hungrily, appeared around them. Megan had to give them credit, these dogs were smart.

“Megan...” Rarity muttered as she began to back away slowly.

To her horror, Megan seemed to do nothing. For a whole second she just stood there, her face completely devoid of expression. Then, the woman moved.

She started by bringing her rifle up, resting the stock against her shoulder. Then, four three-round bursts came from her rifle, with each burst aimed at a different dog. She moved with eerie efficiency, killing the dogs with ease.

Rarity gaped as Megan lowered her rifle, panting heavily. “God I hate VATS,” she mumbled as she looked at the dogs.

Rarity shook herself out of her shock. Killing wild animals was completely different to killing people. And again, it was in self-defence. There was nothing wrong with that. But the ease with which Megan had performed that act of violence... “What’s VATS?”

As she emptied a bottle of dirty water, Megan turned to the unicorn. “Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System,” she answered, tapping her Pip-Boy. “It... It’s hard to explain.”

“That thing on your arm isn’t some ghastly fashion statement?”

The woman chuckled. “Nope. Had this thing on since I was ten, only had it off three times since for routine maintenance.”

“So what does it do, exactly?” Rarity asked as they walked away, much to their relief.

“Do you know what a computer is?”

“Yes, one of... one of my friends has one in her basement. Takes up the entire room.”

“Heh. Kinda figured you’d still be all abacuses and stuff.” Megan brought her Pip-Boy up and tapped a few buttons. “Anyway, this is a small supercomputer.”

“WHAT!?”

The other five ponies turned to stare at Twilight Sparkle, alarmed by her sudden outburst.

“A... a wrist-mounted supercomputer!? But... but that...” The lavender mare fainted as her brain tried and failed spectacularly to understand how such a thing was even possible.

“Somepony get some water,” Rarity said, prodding the prone mare with a hoof. “It wouldn’t be fair to Twilight if she missed anything.”

“Ow ow ow ow ow!”

“Stop moving so I can pull it out!”

“ARGH!”

Megan looked at the metal slug she had just pulled out from Rarity’s leg. “Looks like a low-calibre round. Must’ve been that one with the pistol.”

“That’s quite fascinating, but maybe it can wait until I’ve stopped bleeding to death!?”

“It’s just a flesh wound,” Megan replied, doing her best to ignore the pony’s screeching. “A stimpak and some bandages, you’ll be fine.” She reached into one of the small pouches on her vaultsuit, pulling out a roll of bandages and a small hypodermic. “This might sting a bit.”

“What do you - ow!” Rarity glared at the needle poking into her leg. “What are you doing?”

“Stimpaks force the body to heal faster. The bandages should stop infection.” Megan injected the contents of the stimpak before pulling it out.

“What do you mean, should?” Rarity asked uneasily.

“You try finding sterile medical supplies,” Megan pointed out, wrapping the mare’s leg. “Okay, that should do it,” she said, standing up.

Rarity stood up uneasily, at first not putting any weight on her injured leg. She let out a cry of pain the moment her hoof touched the ground. “I can’t walk like this.”

“Well I’m not carrying you. What?” Megan asked when the pony shot a glare at her. “No offense, but you’re kinda heavy. Ow!” She rubbed at where the rock had struck her.

“Well, we have to find some way to get to Arefu,” Rarity said politely, acting as though she hadn’t just hit the woman in the back of the head.

“I have some Med-X, that should help.” Megan pulled out another syringe, this one much smaller and thinner than the stimpak. “Hold still.”

“Ow.” Rarity winced as the needle pierced her skin.

“And done.” Megan threw the hypodermic over her shoulder.

“What? That’s it?” Rarity uneasily placed her hoof on the ground again. To her delight, there was absolutely no pain. “Oh my.”

“You’re still injured, so no running. You should be good in a few hours, though. Stimpaks are awesome.” She unclipped the magazine for her rifle and attempted to attach a new one. After several moments she gave up. “Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?”

“My gun’s broken. I can’t reload it. The receiver’s not taking the magazine.” She paused and looked over the small slab of broken bridge they had taken cover behind. “Hey. There’s one over there.” Megan climbed over the barrier and made her way towards the ruined house the raiders had used as their base.

“I know I said I can understand taking from the dead, but...”

“Help me go through their pockets, would ya?”

“What!?”

Megan looked at her as she walked towards the assault rifle. “I’m not asking you to touch their junk.” Her eyebrows rose up. “You’re not into that kind of stuff, are you?” Rarity spluttered at the accusation. “Just take the ammo and caps. Their armour isn’t worth the effort of taking off.” The mare watched in revulsion as the woman calmly went and relieved the raiders of their possessions. “Why the hell do people smoke? Isn’t the radiation enough?” she asked herself before putting a half-empty packet of cigarettes in her pocket. “Hey Rarity!” she called out. “I found some ammo for your sniper rifle!”

Rarity took the bullets and placed them in one of the pockets while trying to ignore what her friend was doing. “Are you done?”

“Hang on, I think I saw one of them with...” Megan’s voice trailed off as her eyes lit up. “Oh my god. Is that what I think it is?” She leapt over a corpse and hefted something, giggling like a little girl the whole time. “It is!” she squealed, picking up the firing mechanism for a Flamer.

“It was that day that I learned that letting Megan near fire was a bad idea.”

It wasn’t long after that that they found the settlement of Arefu, been shot at by Evan King, explained to him what they were doing there, told him to stop gawking at Rarity and doorknocked every other shack. To make things go by quicker, Rarity had opted to wait outside every time.

“Mister and Misses West?” Megan knocked on the door. To her alarm, it swung open. “That... can’t be good. Can it?” she asked Rarity.

“At home, this would be normal. Here, though...” The mare looked around uneasily. “We should check.

She instantly regretted that decision when she was greeted by a pair of corpses.

“Okay. Not good.”

“What could do this?” Rarity asked, repulsed at what she was seeing.

“No blood.” Megan was kneeling by the bodies, seemingly unphased by them. “And look at their necks.”

“What about them?” she asked, still refusing to even look.

“It’s like they’ve been... chewed or something.” Megan leaned back. “Okay. Now what could do this?”

Author's Note

Maybe not a supercomputer like the Pip-Boy, but our smartphones are getting to that point, aren't they?
Med-X is addictive, but there's nothing that I know of in Fallout canon to indicate that it makes the user loopy.

Chapter 7: Sharp Talons

“Why can’t we just go back to Megaton and tell her we can’t deliver this letter?”

“If we find Ian and he’s dead, yes.” Megan stepped over the rubble that had fallen into the Potomac when the overpass bridge broke. “Besides, might find something useful. Haven’t been in any metro tunnels yet.”

“Wait. I thought you said we were going to a station.”

“And we are.” When Rarity kept quiet, the woman realised what was confusing her. “Oh. Before the war, Washington had a huge network of underground train tunnels,” she explained, waving an arm about to get across just how big it was. “I’m guessing more than a few people went down and tried to ride out the apocalypse there.”

“Huh. Underground trains. They obviously didn’t run on steam,” the mare mused.

“I don’t know what they ran on, honestly. Good luck finding one that still works, though,” Megan snorted. “I’ll bet a hundred caps that half the tunnels have caved in.”

As they made their way towards Northwest Seneca Station, Rarity looked around. The darkness made it very hard to see, and she had been forced to use her horn to illuminate her path, Megan using her Pip-Boy for the same purpose. The dim light threw the entire landscape into a mix of menacing shadows and eerie voids. More than once she had nearly walked right into a slab of concrete or a rod of rusty rebar.

“We’re nearly there.” Megan’s eyebrows rose up, though the gloom hid that. “Who the hell are they?” she asked, looking at the three figures huddled around a barrel.

“How am I meant to know?” Rarity asked quietly. “I know less than you do.”

Megan pursed her lips as she thought. “Stay here. Use your rifle and keep an eye on things.”

“Wait, what? You’re just going to leave me here?” Rarity hissed angrily. “You are crazy!”

“No, I want to keep you safe. They could be dangerous.” As Megan pulled her rifle off her back, Rarity tapped on her shoulder. “What?”

“What if they are dangerous?” she asked worriedly.

There was a small pause. “Aim for the head.” With those four words the woman walked carefully towards the group.

“So, what happened next?”

“Well, I found out just how lucky we were that the old man in Minefield didn’t hit us.”

“Kill the bitch!”

Rarity took a deep breath and squeezed the trigger. The recoil nearly sent the scope right into her eye, and she almost dropped the rifle in shock. When she recovered and looked again, one of the attackers was on the ground, not moving.

The whole meeting had turned sour before it had even started. The three strangers had opened fire on Megan before she even had a chance to retaliate. Though Megan had managed to drive them back with her Flamer, two of the attackers had rifles, and Rarity had been forced to act.

“Sniper!” a second voice called out, his head swivelling around as he tried to find her. Fortunately, he stood completely still, allowing Megan to drop her Flamer, to one knee and shoot him herself. As the man fell, the third jumped out from behind the building he had been taking cover behind. He ran and tackled Megan, both of them going down in a tangle of limbs.

“Megan!” Rarity yelled. She dropped her rifle and galloped to help her friend.

“Get off me!”

“I’m gonna cut off your head and take it back on a fucking plate!” the man yelled. He was straddling Megan, one hand on her throat. “But not before I make you pay!” he screamed, punching her in the face repeatedly.

The man was so engrossed in causing her harm that he failed to hear the pony approach from behind. “Get off of her!”

He stopped to turn to the source of the voice, only to find himself staring down the barrel of a combat shotgun. “Oh shi- ”

Megan shakily pushed the corpse off of her, looking at the space his head had recently vacated. “T-thanks, Rarity,” she mumbled, rubbing her jaw.

“I just killed him,” the mare whispered, letting the drum-barrel shotgun fall to the ground. “I saw him hitting you, and I just- ”

“Rarity,” Megan said, picking up her rifle, “you heard him. They were trying to kill me. You saved my life.”

“When I saw him on top of you, when I saw you getting hurt, I just... I felt so angry.” Rarity looked at the gun she had just dropped. “I didn’t even think, I just... wanted to hurt him.”

Megan struggled to her feet and limped over to the mare. Bruises were forming all over her face, one of her eyes beginning to swell shut. Her right cheek was cut open, leaking blood onto the ground as it dripped down her chin. She leant down and pulled the pony into a hug. “You saved me,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“I have no regrets about what I did that night, though. Those men were evil.”

The other five looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Isn’t evil a bit... strong?”

“Usually, I would agree. But in this case, no. Evil is the perfect word to describe them.”

While Rarity had gone to retrieve her sniper rifle, Megan had taken it upon herself to dig through the men’s pockets. “Did you... find anything interesting?” In lieu of words, Megan held out a piece of paper. Rarity carefully took it and read it. “Holier-than-thou white knight? A thousand cap bounty? Is that a lot?” Megan nodded. “They want your head?” the mare asked, sounding disgusted.

“Don’t ask me why.” Megan limped to the one Rarity had headshotted. “Nice shooting, by the way,” she commented, poking the corpse with her foot.

The unicorn was very unsure how to feel about that compliment. There was no denying that her shooting had been very effective. But she was still uneasy about the fact that she was killing. “Why are you labelled a ‘white knight’?” she asked, trying to take her mind off things.

“I honestly can’t see why.” Megan looked up at the starry sky. “No, it can’t be Burke. He’s dead.”

“Burke?”

“That psychopath wanted me to blow up Megaton. I ended up killing him to protect the sheriff,” she explained. “Unless he had someone else there to... put the bounty on my head.” Megan groaned and put her head into her hands. “Great. Just what I need, a bunch of mercenaries trying to kill me. As if the Wasteland wasn’t making things hard enough already.”

As Megan’s speech devolved into a lot of profanity (Rarity almost couldn’t believe what she hearing), she walked closer to the body of the man she had killed with her sniper rifle. She almost threw up.

His face was almost entirely intact, the only sign of something being wrong the bottlecap-sized hole in his cheek. The back of his head, though, looked as though it had exploded, revealing to the world (and any hungry wildlife) the inside of his skull.

“Huh. This rifle looks different.” Rarity happily looked away from the corpse to see what Megan was talking about.

The woman was inspecting the magazine of the gun. “Definitely not American, but it uses five-fifty-six rounds. It looks like it fires the rounds at a higher pressure, too,” she added, pulling the bolt of the gun back to chamber a round. “Weighs a little more than the R91, though.”

“What does any of that mean?”

“Probably a Chinese gun, though what the hell it’s doing here I have no idea.” Megan just shrugged. “Not like it really matters, though. A gun’s a gun.” She straightened up, then promptly fell over, clutching her left thigh. “Rarity,” she groaned through the pain.

The unicorn had rushed over the moment the woman had fallen over. “What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly, her eyes running up and down her body to try and see what it was.

“Bullets. In my leg.” She rolled over and let go of her leg, her hand now dripping with blood. “Get it out, would ya?” she asked.

Rarity just stared for a moment. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Use your magic and pull them out. I’d do it myself, but I can’t get a good angle.”

Rarity gulped and reached out with her magic. She probed each wound carefully, not wanting to cause any more damage, and found the source of her pain. “That feels funny,” Megan commented. “And I don’t mean - Argh! Watch it!”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Rarity wilted under the woman’s glare. “I got one of them out, though,” she chuckled nervously, holding up the bloody metal slug.

“There’s two more, though,” Megan said with gritted teeth. “Just... hurry up.”

Two more pained grunts and two more apologies later and the bullets had been successfully removed. Megan finished bandaging up her leg and got to her feet. “Thanks, Rarity.”

“It was nothing,” she replied, still a little shaken by what she had just done.

“Let’s find somewhere to rest for the night. The letter can wait until tomorrow.”

Author's Note

I'm aware Equestria has train tunnels. But there's no evidence that there are any completely underground train systems.
When I say rifle, I am referring to how one holds the gun, not what it actually is. Expect me to call a revolver a pistol at some point. After all, it's technically correct!