Guys' Night Out

by BlackRoseRaven

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Big Macintosh
Length: 12957

Drinking and stupidity at its finest.

Insert story that occurs during Starlit Knights. Scrivener, Rainbow Dude, Spike and Big Mac have a night out at the bar, drinking, playing pool, and generally being stupid together.

Published 2012-12-13 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-13 00:20:01 UTC

Guys' Night Out

Guys’ Night Out
~BlackRoseRaven

“Seriously, this is going to be a blast! Especially since you didn’t bring your damn wife along for once.” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, grinning widely over his shoulder as he winked: a blue Pegasus pony with a solid build, he had broad wings, and a rainbow-colored mane and tail, his magenta eyes glinting with mischief and entertainment as he pushed through the door and into the crowded bar, the cutie mark of a cloud shooting a rainbow-colored lightning bolt on his flank all-but-glowing. “Right Spike? Right Big Mac?”

“Yeah, I always love guy’s night out!” Spike answered enthusiastically, nodding rapidly and smiling towards the Pegasus: a gangly adolescent dragon with a series of green fins that ran from forehead all the way down to the tip of his forked tail, the violet-scaled reptile all the same was treated as naturally as any of the ponies of Ponyville. He was the assistant to Twilight Sparkle and had lived here for years now, after all, and was a warmly-welcomed presence. “And I mean, no offense, Scrivy, but… Luna’s kind of scary.”

“Yup.” drawled a tall, powerfully-built red equine, shaking his short, cropped blonde mane out briskly as his emerald eyes calmly drew back and forth, the emblem of a green, sliced apple standing clearly out against the almost-ruby of his coat. Big Macintosh, Rainbow Dash’s brother in law, a pony of few words but ineffable calm and deep thought.

The last pony rolled his chestnut eyes behind his glasses, messy ivory mane and tail almost glowing, making him look almost ghostly with his charcoal coat. His flank was adorned with a cutie mark of a black rose blossom, overtop which was a raven feather, and Scrivener Blooms couldn’t help but glance back at this as he said mildly: “Well, you may not have noticed, but you guys are a dragon, an adrenaline junky, and a country boy. I’m a poet. Poets don’t usually get out much. And yes, I know Luna is scary. I have to live with her, remember?”

“Yeah, well, let’s forget about that and order some drinks for now!” Rainbow replied cheerfully, winking over his shoulder as he headed towards the bar, and Scrivener sighed as Big Mac gave the slightest of smiles and a short shake of his head as the Pegasus headed towards a set of unoccupied stools at the bar and leapt up, sitting down with a grin.

Spike had his face half-covered as he excitedly ran up beside Rainbow, sitting down and looking almost like a naïve puppy as he stared back and forth over the rustic interior: comfortable hardwood floors that were sprinkled with sawdust and a bit of hay, the bar sitting on a higher level, a short flight of stairs leading down to a lower square where ponies rested around tables, laughing and talking. Faint music came from a stage at the far corner of the room, and Scrivener shook his head with a smile as he sat on Spike’s other side, Big Mac taking the last seat beside the charcoal earth pony. “You might want to calm down a little, Spike.”

“Me? I’m calm. Perfectly, totally calm, I drink all the time.” Spike said immediately, going almost rigid as he dropped his hands flat against the counter and nodded rapidly, then he winced a bit, green eyes staring across the counter as a bearded pony approached behind the bar and gave him a sour look. “Uh. Hi?”

“No kids allowed.” the bartender pony said grouchily, and Spike winced and quailed a bit before he looked up dumbly as Rainbow wrapped a forelimb around the dragon and grinned, leaning forwards and getting the bartender’s attention.

“Dude, does this guy look like a kid to you? Look at how damn tall he is! Furthermore, he’s a dragon… don’t you worry, we’re here, having some relaxation before we have to go on a mission for Princess Celestia as part of the Starlit Knights.” Rainbow winked, leaning back and flapping his wings once as he preened a bit, which made the bartender sigh and roll his eyes but visibly relent a little. “We’ll keep an eye on him. Dude’s old enough to fight in a war, think he’s old enough to have a drink or two.”

For a few moments the pony on the other side of the counter looked meditatively back and forth over the four, even as Big Mac and Scrivener Blooms both gave Rainbow Dash a flat look, and Spike grinned and pushed his index claws together, giving pleading eyes to the pony behind the counter… and then he sighed, pointing at him and saying firmly: “Don’t make me regret this. Fine, what’ll it be then?”

“Oh my god this is so awesome.” Spike almost squeaked, and then he cleared his throat with a blush when the bartender looked at him darkly, rubbing quickly at his face and regaining his composure before he said in a deep, serious voice: “Beer. Uh. A beer.”

“Whiskey sour.” Big Mac said next, glancing absently over the glimmering bottles that lined the back shelves. “Supercall, if you can.”

Spike and Rainbow both glanced towards Big Mac in confusion, but the bartender only nodded and glanced back at his shelf. “’Course I can, these bottles ain’t just for show, and you’ve always been a good customer. Unlike some ponies.”

He shot a flat look towards Rainbow, who cleared his throat and then rose a hoof. “Crown the King. But uh. Half-shot on the whiskey, I wanna set a good example.”

The bartender only rolled his eyes and sighed, then he glanced towards Scrivener, who fidgeted awkwardly before he looked up and finally said lamely: “Black Tooth, but all black and no tooth, and put it on the rocks.”

For a moment, the pony only looked at him, and then he sighed and rolled his eyes, turning away and heading down the counter towards the taps. “Fine, why not? I’ll be right back.”

“Drinks have weird names.” Spike said finally, and then he smiled at Rainbow Dash, rubbing the back of his head and saying lamely: “And… thank you, so much for… you know. I mean… this is really something, isn’t it?”

“It really is.” Scrivener said mildly, shaking his head with a slight smile, and Big Mac grunted in agreement as Rainbow Dash laughed and clapped his front hooves together as he leaned forwards on the counter.

“Excellent! See? We can totally have fun!” the Pegasus said cheerfully, and then he spun around on his stool and leaned back, surveying the other ponies and gazing warmly over the inside of the tavern. “Gotta say, it’s nice to hang out and relax like this, you know? Days have felt so long, there was all that crazy crap with Sol Seraph, and you guys got attacked, and we’re heading to Canterlot and then North Neigh, well… I don’t gotta tell you guys that, do I? God I’m excited. God does it feel good to do something… but still have enough time to relax.”

Spike nodded rapidly as Big Mac gave a smile and Scrivener laughed a little, and then Rainbow spun back around as the bartender whistled at them and slid their drinks down the bar, one after the other. “Whiskey sour, colt cola with ice, Longmane, and Crown the King.”

Big Mac reached a hoof forwards, easily halting the shot glass in front of him and making the ice in it jingle quietly as Scrivener’s own tall glass of cola halted almost perfectly before him, a tall bottle of amber liquid coming to a halt in front of Spike and Rainbow Dash grinning as he caught his own shot glass between his hooves and rose it quickly to his muzzle, taking a deep drink before he turned and crowed: “Dude, we came to a bar and you ordered a cola? What are you, designated carriage-puller?”

Scrivener only grumbled a bit at this as he picked up his cola and drank slowly, and then he rolled his eyes as the other ponies – and dragon – only looked at him curiously, a bit of a blush still tingeing his cheeks as he finally said awkwardly: “I don’t drink.”

“Dude you’re weird.” Rainbow said finally, and then he shrugged a bit and sipped at his cocktail again as Spike looked at his own beer, almost cradling the bottle in his hands and staring at it before he gingerly sniffed the bottle, which made the Pegasus roll his eyes as he leaned over and said mildly: “You’re also being weird.”

“Well, I’ve never had a beer before.” Spike said embarrassedly, looking lamely at Rainbow Dash before he grumbled and sipped at it slowly… then made a face and smacked his lips a few times, mumbling: “I think the glass tastes better than the beer.”

“Trust me, it’ll grow on you. Sort of like an acquired taste, like being refined without the refinement.” Rainbow replied with a wink as Big Mac sipped slowly at his own drink, then he looked over and finally asked: “And you, is this where you disappear off to every few evenings? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked.” Big Mac replied reasonably, leaning on the counter with a bit of a shrug. Rainbow grumbled at this response, and Scrivener laughed and shook his head, taking another drink of his cola as Spike sipped awkwardly at his bottle of beer, then peered at the label and the profile of a stern-looking pony on it.

For a few moments, they drank in silence as Scrivener slowly counted down in his head from ten… and then, as he reached two, Rainbow Dash looked up and asked finally: “Okay, why don’t you drink? I mean, Luna drinks, doesn’t she? Then again, Luna’s always telling crazy stories, and I never know what to believe.”

“Well, the crazy thing is that most of Luna’s stories are true.” Scrivener said dryly, leaning back and looking amusedly over at Dash, before he shrugged a bit and swirled his cola absently in his glass. “And she doesn’t now, actually, since we’re connected and all. We keep a few bottles in the house but that’s for guests. Besides, Luna’s already crazy enough as it is.”

Rainbow grunted at this, and then he glanced down at his glass and took another sip as Spike took a drink of his own beer, now holding the bottle by the neck and looking a little more relaxed as he glanced curiously towards Scrivy. “So you two can like… taste the same stuff, too? Like Luna can taste your drink as you drink it and stuff, because you’re… soul-connected?”

“Soul-bound, yeah. And, well, if I concentrated hard enough or she concentrated hard enough, then yeah, she could. Just like we can share what we see or hear or even feel, even our thoughts and emotions.” Scrivener shrugged a bit, and then Rainbow Dash snorted in amusement, getting the attention of the others.

“That must make sex either the greatest thing or most awkward thing ever.” he said mildly, and Spike turned scarlet as Scrivener cleared his throat and glanced away, before the Pegasus grinned and leaned towards him, winking. “Got any fun stories to share?”

“Rainbow Dash, you know my damn rules. No awkward-talk at my bar, go get a table if you want to be a pervert.” the bartender said dryly as he passed by without even giving them a look, and Rainbow grumbled as he sat back and rolled his eyes.

But then the Pegasus took the last long drink of his cocktail and winked at the others as he gestured towards the stairs and slipped off his stool. “Come on then, ain’t a proper guy’s night out if we don’t share dirty stories with each other.”

“I get enough of this with Luna.” Scrivener grumbled, but then he sighed before smiling to Spike as the dragon picked up his cola for him and hopped to his feet, beer in his other claw. “Thanks.”

“No sweat.” Spike headed quickly towards Rainbow Dash as the Pegasus turned and trotted cheerfully down the steps to find an open table, and then he paused and glanced awkwardly over his shoulder towards Big Mac and Scrivy, saying lamely: “This has also gotten a whole lot more embarrassing than I expected it to.”

“Yes, well, just wait. I’m sure it’ll only get worse for all of us.” Scrivener replied dryly, and Big Mac nodded in agreement as the dragon blushed a bit before turning around and hurrying down the steps as Rainbow Dash called to them from a booth he had managed to secure.

They made their way past several occupied pool tables, the music a little clearer but the lights a bit dimmer, making the atmosphere strangely soothing as Spike slipped onto the bench beside Rainbow Dash and leaned back against the wall of the booth, sliding Scrivy’s cola over to him as he and Big Mac slipped onto the bench opposite. The charcoal pony nodded his thanks as the blue Pegasus grinned back and forth before leaning his forelegs on the table, saying cheerfully: “Now. Since I obviously can’t go first with Big Mac still sober and me married to his sister and all, and Spike can’t go first because he’s the youngest, that means one of you guys gotta fess up. And if you don’t, I totally call the right to spend the rest of the night calling you names and mocking you horribly and generally making you feel like wimps. Because that’s what you two would be. Wimps.”

Big Mac sighed at this and Scrivener rolled his eyes, looking upwards for patience before the large red pony leaned towards a waitress as she passed, holding up a hoof and saying plaintively: “.46 Magnum. Thanks.”

The waitress looked for a moment at Big Mac, then glanced towards the table and at grinning Rainbow Dash as he gleefully clapped his hooves together, and then she sighed and nodded, saying dryly: “I’ll get Shooter right on it. What about you boys, can I fix you anything?”

Spike and Scrivener both shook their heads as the dragon absently sipped a little at his bottle, but the blue Pegasus rose a hoof, saying with a grin. “Since I warmed up with a cocktail tonight, I think I’ll join my friend Spike in having a beer. Something from the tap though, like Amber Harvest. You got that, right?”

“’Course we do, Dashie, it’s what you usually have.” The waitress smiled slightly, tilting her head. “Just for you or do you want me to bring a pitcher and glasses?”

“Pitcher, thanks, glasses for me and my good friend here.” Rainbow wrapped a foreleg around Spike, squeezing him companionably, and the dragon blushed a bit, looking both awkward and happy as the Pegasus winked. “Maybe the other two will join us later, at least I damn well hope so, since it’s all going on my tab.”

Scrivener and Big Mac both glanced up in surprise at this, and the Pegasus rose his hooves as the waitress nodded and walked away, the male saying firmly: “Don’t even start, you hear me? You guys… you have no idea what it means to be able to do this, and have you guys look at me so… so normal-like despite the fact that in the past I was stuck doing girl’s nights’ in, which were often not nearly as fun or relaxing as this. So I’m paying for your drinks and that’s that, and not another word about that. You’re letting me have my fun, among everything else… this is the very least I can do.”

The others smiled hesitantly as Rainbow Dash looked back and forth between them, and then he smiled warmly, saying quietly: “Good.” A pause, and then he grinned and leaned forwards, saying easily: “And now, Scrivy, you were about to tell us about some awkward sexual experiences, I think.”

“Oh what the hell, why does it have to be me?” Scrivener made a face as he leaned back with a blush, grabbing at his cola and sipping hurriedly from it as Big Mac gave him a dry look. “Well, it’s gotta be both of us eventually. Letting you go first is a courtesy, really.”

“Scrivy, stop being a chicken. Besides, Luna always seems glad to talk about it, so… you’re a wimp.” Rainbow Dash flapped his forelegs like wings, then paused before instead just flapping his wings, Spike snorting laughter despite his best efforts not to as Scrivener Blooms rolled his eye with a groan as the Pegasus started making clucking noises.

“Oh, fine, fine! Horses of Heaven you’re even worse than Luna.” Scrivener muttered under his breath, sipping at his cola even as he blushed red, and then he shook his head and glanced lamely back and forth. “Well, what do you wanna know?”

“So have you really had a threesome with Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked immediately just as Spike took a longer drink from his bottle, and he sneezed loudly, his eyes watering as not only alcohol but a burst of green fire shot across the table, incinerating the beer in midair in a great sparkling burst that made several other ponies stare before he coughed violently and hammered on his chest with a fist, Rainbow laughing loudly. “Oh my God that was amazing!”

“It really, really, really burns.” Spike wheezed, grabbing at his muzzle as he dropped his bottle of beer on the table, giving Rainbow Dash a glare through watery eyes. “Can we not talk about that? She’s like a sister to me!”

“And Applejack is Big Mac’s sister but I still plan to tell you two about the best birthday surprise ever.” Rainbow Dash announced, and Big Mac slowly lowered his face into his front hooves as Scrivener mumbled under his breath before the Pegasus leaned forwards expectantly. “Well?”

“Okay, can you please go back to asking just about me and Luna? I really don’t want to get into the subject of how many times I’ve slept with Twilight, with or without Luna.” Scrivener said finally, looking up… and then he covered his mouth as he realized what he’d just said, and Rainbow giggled gleefully, clapping his hooves together again as Spike’s jaw dropped and Big Mac slowly looked up from his hooves, the charcoal pony clearing his throat awkwardly. “That came out. Wrong. You didn’t just hear that.”

“Oh thank god.” Big Mac muttered as the waitress returned with a tray, and he grabbed the large shot glass off the tray and snapped it back, swallowing most of it in one large gulp with a wince and a shake of his head.

The waitress gave him a sympathetic look as she slid the tray onto the table, and Rainbow grabbed the glasses and set one out in front of himself and Spike as the dragon quickly tilted his bottle upwards with a mumble before he blinked as he found it empty… and then he smiled awkwardly as the waitress took the bottle from him and picked up the pitcher, filling his glass mug as she said kindly: “Watch the fireworks honey, okay? And you, Mr. Dash, have to stop going to such lengths to be a macho stallion.”

“Hey, we all deserve a little fun now and then, right? Besides, don’t forget, I know what kinds of things mares talk about behind dude’s backs and it can be even less pretty than this.” Dash pointed out, and the waitress laughed before he asked curiously: “You guys still serving food?”

“’Course we are, Dashie. Let me guess, pizza, right?” The waitress smiled amusedly as Dash nodded with a grunt. “What about you boys, anything else?”

“Refill on my cola, thanks.” Scrivener put his glass on the tray, empty except for a few half-melted cubes of ice, and Big Mac only sipped slowly at his whiskey as Spike awkwardly rubbed a claw around the edge of his glass of beer as he leaned back, still looking almost as embarrassed as Scrivy.

The waitress picked up the tray and left… and then Rainbow turned towards Scrivener with a grin, saying firmly: “Spill it.” A pause, and then he glanced awkwardly towards Spike as the dragon grabbed at the frills standing out from the sides of his head with a wince. “This can’t be like. Entirely a surprise for you, can it? I mean… well…”

“Well…” Spike hesitated… and then when Rainbow leaned down and Scrivener couldn’t help but glance curiously at the dragon, he blushed a bit and mumbled: “Maybe, just maybe, only maybe I knew about… something… and maybe I read a journal entry or two about it. I mean, we all see the way Twilight looks at Luna and Luna goes right up to her and you know, and Scrivy I mean… well… you know. It’s… kind of obvious…”

“Dude, I hope you understand how lucky you are. You’re married to the former Princess of the Night, who gets extra badass points for being Nightmare Moon not to mention the fact she can kick all our asses with one hoof behind her back, and you two have some weird love-squared thing going on with Twilight Sparkle, who admittedly is a very pretty unicorn.” Rainbow Dash paused, sipping at his glass of beer before he leaned forwards, becoming a little more serious as he said quietly: “You take care of her, right?”

Scrivener leaned back, looking almost insulted, and Rainbow grinned awkwardly as he rose a hoof. “Sorry, just. Had to ask. I know you two like her a lot. I know you’re good friends, but… you know. It’s just weird.”

“Luna’s weird. And I guarantee you, that if Luna and I hadn’t spent all that time together, she and Twilight would be the happily married couple.” Scrivy replied mildly, looking moody for a moment longer. “Can we move on? It’s seriously awkward to talk about.”

“Yeah, and that’s what this is all about, and why we’re talking about it. Don’t be stupid, Scrivy, you can trust us all, we’re your friends.” Rainbow replied with a smile, and Scrivener looked almost surprised as Spike laughed and sipped at his own glass, seeming to find the beer a little more favorable now as he smiled as well. “Right, Big Mac?”

“Yup.” Big Mac sipped slowly at his whiskey, and then he added after a moment meditatively: “Although you probably could do with a little less pushing on certain subjects, Rainbow. Just saying.”

“Yeah, well, we already talked about that.” Rainbow retorted staunchly, and then he grinned when the waitress returned with a cheese pizza on a platter and Scrivener’s refilled glass, laying the platter down and passing the cola to the earth pony. “Excellent!”

The waitress only tipped him a wink, then she turned and headed off as Rainbow leaned on the table, adding easily: “Besides, how could I not be curious? We’re all weirdos here after all, right? But fine, no more Twilight-related questions, if only because I don’t want you giving poor Spike really awkward dreams. Tell me more about you and Luna… does that soul-bound stuff really help out in bed?”

“We feel one another’s pleasure, go ahead and take a wild guess.” Scrivener said dryly, reaching forwards and grabbing a slice of pizza, and he took a large bite and chewed slowly to buy himself time even as Rainbow Dash motioned impatiently for him to go on, and Spike looked curious despite the blush on his face, even Big Mac turning his head slightly towards him.

Finally, Scrivener swallowed, and he sighed a bit and rolled his eyes, saying dryly: “Alright, fine. Since you really want to know… it means I know just what spots to hit, what pace to go at, if you get what I mean. Just like Luna will instinctively know what I want and what feels good and what feels… better. But there’s a little more depth to being linked in soul to somepony than-”

“Oh don’t be a turd, Scrivy, you know I know and we all know you and her are like grossly in love with each other.” Rainbow waved a hoof impatiently. “Besides, again, Luna brags about a lot worse. Why aren’t you fun like her? You’re a big chicken.”

Scrivener rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, and then Rainbow leaned forwards, saying teasingly: “Fine, prove me wrong then, hotshot. What’s one of the weirdest things Luna ever wanted you to do in bed?”

Scrivener glared at Rainbow Dash, and then he glanced towards the dragon, saying mildly: “Cover your ears.”

Spike winced and did this immediately as Rainbow only laughed and picked up a slice of pizza, taking a bite out of it… and then the dragon watched, sound muffled, as Scrivener said something and Rainbow’s eyes went wide before he began to choke loudly on the pizza, hammering on his chest as Scrivener Blooms leaned back, crossed his arms, and said distastefully: “Now who’s the big wimp?”

Rainbow continued to wheeze loudly, and then Spike quickly pounded on his chest as Scrivy and Big Mac looked at each other, then traded pleased nods before Rainbow Dash gasped and fell forwards, coughing a few times and then swallowing painfully before he rasped: “Dude! Luna can do that?”

“Yes, she can. And it was very uncomfortable, before you ask. And yes, Twilight and Celestia both know, because Luna insisted on bringing it up once as we were having a normal, everyday conversation, and they both almost herniated.” Scrivener paused reflectively, glancing up thoughtfully. “It was actually very entertaining, now that I can look back on it with less of a sense of horrified humiliation.”

Rainbow grumbled a bit under his breath, and then he leaned back and took a deep drink of his beer, sighing and glaring at Scrivener Blooms. “You know, I’m starting to see how you and Luna get along so well. Well, thanks for ruining storytime. In order to feel clean again, I think we should play a game of pool. Looks like that table’s open and everything, after all… what do you think, Spike, wanna mop the floor with these two?”

Scrivener glanced towards Big Mac, who shrugged and then nodded as he took a drink of his whiskey, and then Spike held up a claw, saying nervously: “I dunno exactly how good I’ll be at this, Rainbow Dash, I uh… don’t think I even know how to play…”

“It’s easy, kid, I’ll teach you as we go, and you can just follow my lead.” the Pegasus replied comfortably with a grin and a wink towards the dragon. “Besides, with all due respect to Scrivy and Big Mac, I don’t think we’re exactly going to be facing stiff opposition here.”

Rainbow easily gestured towards the two earth ponies as they made their way towards the pool table, and Spike nodded and slipped quickly to his feet, Rainbow darting cheerfully past towards where the cues rested as Big Mac arranged the various colored balls into a triangular rack set at the foot of the table, Spike glancing down and picking up the white cue ball to examine it. Then he looked up curiously as the red earth pony explained in his easy, comfortable drawl: “We’ll play a simple game of eight-ball. Rules aren’t hard: one pony breaks, then calls stripes or solids. Then they try to sink those balls, and at the end, sink the eight ball.”

“Let’s play nice for the kid, too, if he scratches the eight ball we’ll just toss the turn to the next pony instead of game over, how about that?” Rainbow asked as he returned, carrying four cues in his forelegs and wings propelling him easily through the air. He winked as Spike looked perplexed before tossing him one of the cues, the dragon fumbling it a bit as the Pegasus added: “Don’t worry about it, Spike, we’ll teach you as we go along. Scrivy, Big Mac, heads up!”

Rainbow tossed a pool cue to either pony, and Big Mac caught his with only a glance up as Scrivener stepped backwards and snagged his own, and Rainbow grinned at them with a wink, already applying a bit of chalk to the tip of the cue in a well-worn square holder. “I’ll break, of course. Show the guy how it’s done.”

Spike smiled awkwardly as Big Mac only nodded and Scrivy smiled in amusement, standing up on his rear legs as he cradled the cue back against his shoulder and rested a front hoof on the edge of the table, saying in an entertained voice: “You never stack the odds in your favor, do you, Rainbow?”

“Oh shut up, Scrivy. Twilight’s right, you really are a jerk.” Rainbow grumbled, and then he easily flew around the table to Spike, reaching out to take the cue ball from him and putting it down on the table as Big Mac removed the triangular rack to leave the balls sitting in formation, the Pegasus grinning as he dropped back to his hooves and lowered his head to peer just past the edge of the table, lining up the shot as he muttered: “Yeah, I see you. Right here. Okay, watch this, Spike.”

Spike grasped the neck of his pool cue, awkwardly leaning on it and watching as Rainbow brought his own up, then hammered a decisive, firm blow against the cue ball, sending it rocketing into the front of the pyramid formation of pool balls and sending them rolling across the verdant felt, bouncing back and forth with clicks as Rainbow leaned back with a wide grin as three balls sank in various pockets. “Badass. Uh… stripes!”

“But, wait, didn’t more solids go in than stripes? Won’t they get ahead of us when it’s their turn?” Spike asked with a tilt of his head, but Rainbow only laughed as Scrivener and Big Mac both studied the fall of the balls, both making faces at why Rainbow had chosen what he had.

“Yeah, but look at the positions! Oh, right, you don’t know. But see, as long as I’m sinking these balls, I can keep going. So until I either hit a solid first instead of a stripe, scratch the cue ball – which means I screw up and sink it into a hole too – or y’know, mess up entirely and somehow miss completely on a shot and don’t sink a ball or anything, I get to keep going.” Rainbow explained with a wink, and he quickly flitted around the table, saying easily: “See that ball? I’m gonna sink it into the corner pocket.”

With that, he flapped his wings, carrying himself into the air so he could hover half-over the table with a grin as he carefully lined up an easy shot, and an easy sink. And Rainbow explained more of the game to Spike as he flitted around over the pool table, grinning as he sank four more balls in succession before cursing under his breath as he tried to ricochet the cue ball around a solid to sink a stripe, but missed the stripe entirely and sank the ivory sphere instead. “Well, it’s a good start anyway, right?”

“Yup.” Big Mac reached down, pulling the cue ball out of the slot in the side of the table, and then he glanced at Scrivener. The charcoal pony shrugged a bit before nodding, then took the ball and placed it on the table as he lined up an easy shot.

The earth pony took his time, humming a bit to himself as he sank the solid, and then Rainbow Dash snorted and looked at Spike, saying easily: “See that? Looked nice and simple but now he has to play from there. Should have gone for that other shot.”

“No, no, that’s fine.” Scrivener surveyed the table, then he closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment… and a flicker sparked through his mind before he strode easily over to stand beside Spike, aiming at the empty end of the table as the dragon frowned and the Pegasus opened his mouth before Scrivener firmly thrusted the cue into the white ball, sending it rocketing down the table to bounce off the cushion at a slight angle and shoot past a stripe, hitting a solid and sinking it as several other balls were knocked rolling as well. “There we go.”

Scrivy hummed absently under his breath as Rainbow Dash stared, then slowly leaned forwards, narrowing his eyes as Scrivy paused and closed his eyes, bowing his head forwards oddly and taking another slow breath… and then the Pegasus reared back and pointed at him, accusing: “You’re cheating!”

“It’s not cheating, it’s asking for advice.” Scrivener grinned all the same, however, eyes still closed as he edged around to the far corner of the table, leaning over it and bringing the cue up as Rainbow glowered at him. “Also, apparently Luna, Applejack, Twilight, and the other mares are having a girls’ night and they’ve been discussing topics worse than we have. It’s nice to know we’re not the only dysfunctional ponies in Ponyville.”

“Yup.” Big Mac agreed calmly, as Scrivener took another shot… then the charcoal pony grumbled under his breath as he sank both a solid as well as the cue ball, putting too much power into the shot. “Nice try, at least.”

“Thanks. Spike, you’re up. Just remember most of what Rainbow said.” Scrivener said mildly, and then the earth pony turned and headed towards the table to grab a slice of pizza and sip at his cola, watching with interest as the dragon scurried around the table and the Pegasus fluttered nearby, offering advice and pointers until Spike finally shook his cue stick at him.

Rainbow Dash winced and flapped backwards, then he grumbled and sailed over to the table, easily flying over the heads of several ponies before dropping down beside Scrivy and reaching out to grab his glass of beer, taking a deep drink from it before he smiled as he turned around, half-sitting in the bench and saying quietly: “Gotta say, this is the best guy’s night out we’ve had so far. Not that I don’t value my time spent with my other friends, my… five good mare-friends, not that anything is even any different or better or worse between us but… kinda hard to find a lot of dudes to hang out with around Ponyville, you ever notice that?”

“Not really, Luna and I always lived as exiles in the Everfree Forest, after all. There it’s hard to find anypony to hang out with.” Scrivener replied amiably, and Rainbow Dash snorted and shook his head with a grin as the earth pony sipped absently at his cola. “But thanks, Rainbow. I have to admit… it’s nice to have friends here. It’s nice to be part of something.”

“Good, now are you going to join me for a beer or what?” Rainbow cocked his head towards him, and Scrivener only gave him an amused look, shaking his head as he ate the last of his slice of pizza before drinking down his cola, and the Pegasus laughed and shook his own, flapping his wings as he snatched up a piece of pizza in one hoof and his glass mug of beer in the other. “Dude you’re no fun! And Spike, just shoot already!”

“I… I’m going to.” Spike said lamely, and then he grumbled and leaned forwards, taking the shot… and then wheezing in relief as the ball he’d hit the edge of sank in one of the corner pockets, the cue ball gently bouncing back and forth through the other balls. “See, I got it!”

“Yeah, but you sank a solid, not a stripe.” Rainbow Dash said flatly, and Spike cleared his throat awkwardly and rubbed at the back of his head before he smiled when Rainbow thrusted the piece of pizza towards him. “It’s alright, I’ll finish ‘em off after Big Mac has his turn.”

Big Mac glanced amiably up as he straightened, glancing towards the ball before he leaned awkwardly forwards across the table… and with startling precision, he ricocheted the ball off the cushion and into a solid, sending it rolling across the table and into the center pocket as Rainbow stared in surprise before Big Mac said in his slow, easy voice: “I always liked this sport, ever since I was a foal. It’s got a lot more to it than meets the eye.”

He half-circled around the table, raising his cue stick high and aiming at the ivory ball before bringing it down in a brisk, short thrust, and the ball was forced to hop in the air overtop a stripe, hitting the solid-colored sphere beyond and knocking it rolling slowly towards the side pocket, where it trembled for a moment… then fell in with a clack, as Rainbow Dash hissed through his teeth and Spike gaped, pizza slice dangling from his hand as Scrivener stared. “It ain’t my special talent, no. There’s a lot of ponies better than I’ll ever be. But still, it’s always been fun.”

Big Mac half-circled the table again, leaning down with a slight smile on his freckled features as he lined up the cue ball once more, taking careful aim… and then hitting it with deft precision, knocking it towards the cushioned side, bouncing off one wall, then the other, to just tap against the side of a solid ball with enough force to send it rolling towards the foot of the table… and spilling into the bottom pocket, the red equine nodding thoughtfully to himself.

He paused, then put his cue gently stick down and walked past the staring ponies and dragon to return to the table, picking up his glass of whiskey and drinking the rest of it down, then he rose the empty glass towards the waitress as she came down the steps, the pony smiling at him and nodding. Big Mac smiled back, nodding in return as he put the glass down and headed back to the poor table, standing back up on his rear legs and easily picking the stick up as he lined up the last shot, saying calmly: “Eight ball, top center pocket.”

The red earth pony leaned forwards, easily hitting the cue ball, and it shot towards the foot of the table to bounce off the cushion and whisper just past a striped ball before it hit the black eight ball dead center, sending it rolling forwards until it sank in the center pocket at the top of the table, and Big Mac smiled wider as he straightened and rolled his shoulders, looking relaxed as he dropped the cue across the table and rested back on his hooves comfortably. “Every now and then, it’s nice to relax a little.”

With that, he headed calmly back to the table… and Rainbow Dash spluttered before Scrivener laughed and shook his head and Spike clapped his hands, the two leaving the Pegasus hovering dumbly by the pool table before he grumbled as he began to quickly gather up the cues, saying flatly: “Dude, you’re supposed to be boring and you never talk. When the hell did you suddenly get cool?”

Big Mac only smiled in return, however, as Spike and Scrivener slid back into the bench before the red pony sat down as well, then gazed warmly up and tipped a wink to the waitress as she brought him a refill of his mixed whiskey, relaxing visibly before Rainbow Dash shot by over their heads and dropped back down into his seat, glaring at them and crossing his front legs. “Okay, then, pool shark, if you think you’re so badass why don’t we get back to storytime? Now you can tell us some embarrassing secrets about your bedroom life.”

The earth pony looked sour at this, sipping slowly at his whiskey as Scrivener leaned back, giving Dash an entertained look as he said mildly: “You really never learn, do you?’

“Nope.” Dash said cheerfully, and he leaned forwards on his elbows as he rested his hooves under his jaw, grinning widely as Spike took a deep drink from his glass of beer and bit into the cooling pizza, chewing enthusiastically. “But at least I’m not the one with a curfew and a bedtime, Scrivy. What, Luna gotta tuck you in?”

“Please, Rainbow, mocking me is as pointless as picking a fight with a brick wall. Even if you do manage to knock me down I’ll probably fall on you and hurt your head. Not that you have to worry much about anything inside there being damaged.” Scrivener replied mildly, absently sipping at his cola, and Rainbow rolled his eyes before the charcoal pony glanced towards Big Mac. “Still, though, mostly out of spite for the fact that I already endured his ritual humiliation and the rest out of misplaced curiosity, tell us something at least.”

Big Mac looked consideringly at Scrivy for a moment, then he glanced towards Rainbow Dash and Spike as the two leaned forwards slightly, the dragon now looking both exhilarated and a little tipsy. “I first had relations with a mare on that same pool table I just whooped you at.”

“What? How? When?” Rainbow asked stupidly, leaning forwards and staring dumbly at him. “What the hell, dude, you’re quiet and silent all the damn time! You can’t do stuff like that, I’m the impulsive, reckless, cool one here!”

“Wow. Pool and mares.” Spike said dumbly, and then he giggled a little as he sipped at his glass stein of beer, looking warmly around at them all: while he was likely becoming a little intoxicated, though, it was clear that most of his happiness came from the relaxing company. “Did you… how did you not get caught?”

Big Mac only shook his head, however, then he said calmly: “Short version – and I ain’t gonna give you a long version – is that I used to stay late after closing to practice here every few nights, before Apple Bloom was born, especially during winter when there wasn’t as much to do on the farmstead. One of the waitresses sometimes stayed with me. Liked to watch, liked to play a little. Don’t think she had much to go home to. We got close.”

“They were good times.” added a female voice, and Dash’s jaw dropped as the pretty waitress walked by, pausing only to wink and reach up to gently touch Big Mac’s shoulder. “I really do hope you find a good pony one day, Big Mac. You’re still a damn good friend. And you always treated a lady right in all the right places.”

Spike also stared as Big Mac only smiled up at her, and then the waitress winked before she punched his shoulder gently. “Watch the whiskey, huh? You’re gonna embarrass your friends here trying to make them keep up with you, and you’ll wake up fine but they’ll all be headachy in the morning. ‘Cept your big friend there. Refill?”

“Thanks.” Scrivener pushed his once-more empty glass towards her, and she nodded courteously as she took it and headed back towards the stairs, before the male glanced curiously at Big Mac. “You two seem like good friends.”

“Yup.” Big Mac looked over at the male, taking a contemplative sip at his whiskey before he shrugged a bit at the curious look on the charcoal pony’s face. “It was one of those things that was great while it lasted. But it didn’t last forever.”

Scrivener smiled a bit, and Rainbow grumbled as he sat back, watching Big Mac calmly pick up a slice of pizza and take a bite out of it before the Pegasus said flatly: “Well, are you drunk enough yet that I can tell my story?”

“Nope.” Big Mac rolled his eyes, and the Pegasus huffed a bit before the red pony added mildly: “And my little sister probably wouldn’t want you spilling the beans about your bedroom antics, Rainbow.”

“Well it’s not like I’m going to give creepy details. We’re all adults here, I’m pretty sure everypony knows we have sex.” Rainbow replied dryly, gesturing with a hoof around at them all as Spike looked lamely up. “Don’t worry, Spike, I’m sure if there were other dragons around you’d be hitting home runs too.”

“Thanks, Rainbow Dash.” Spike looked oddly touched at this, smiling a little as he rested back, and there was a moment of quiet before the waitress returned, passing the cola over to Scrivener, who thanked her with a nod. She headed away, and there was awkward quiet before Spike said lamely: “I really like Rarity.”

“Dude. We know.” the Pegasus replied dryly, and both Scrivener and Big Mac nodded agreeably, Spike smiling embarrassedly at the ponies. “Why don’t you ever ask her out?”

“Because I’m a dorky-looking dragon and she’s the most beautiful unicorn in Equestria?” Spike retorted, rubbing at his face before he took a deep drink of his beer with an embarrassed grumble. “I mean, look at me. Twilight’s assistant, and don’t get me wrong, I like the job and Twilight’s like a sister to me, but I’m pretty much the opposite of what dragons are supposed to actually be.”

“As if that’s a bad thing. Remember that time you actually were like a dragon and ate Ponyville?” Rainbow pointed out, and Spike mumbled embarrassedly to himself as he rubbed absently at his face. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Rarity’s not the same hoity-toity she used to be, either. And even then, she was always able to look past that veneer of hers sooner or later.”

“Yeah, but… I’m a dragon. You guys are all ponies.” Spike said awkwardly, looking lamely back and forth. “I mean, I would… I would give up anything to be with her, I know this isn’t… this is going to sound really stupid, but ever since I first saw her… I just… well… knew. You know? I knew that… you know.”

“Love will find a way.” Scrivener said softly, and he sipped at his cola before shrugging a bit as the others looked at him curiously. “I know what you mean, Spike, I do. When I first saw Luna, I felt something special. Of course, I ignored it since I figured Celestia was half-punishing me, half-promoting me, and it took months of getting to know Luna before… things happened. Months and months… and of course, that epic journey we went on and getting curb-stomped by an angry Celestia.”

Scrivener absently gestured at the scarred side of his face, and then he sipped at his cola before making a face when the others continued to look at him expectantly. “What I’m… saying, is that if I can go from being a cynical, constantly-abused scribe to Luna to a cynical, constantly-abused husband and soulmate, if you and Rarity are meant to be, it’ll work out.”

“Don’t matter that you’re a dragon, Spike. Don’t matter who or what you are: matters what you do, and what course your actions lead you on. Ain’t right to hold something against somepony else, not if it don’t hurt no one.” Big Mac added softly, nodding once. “And you got lots to consider, sure, but that’s for the future. It would be cruel to yourself to already cut your chances with Rarity, just because of whatever differences may exist there; and it’d be even crueler to her if she cared about you even a smidge in return.”

Spike looked quietly at Big Mac, weighing his words slowly as he bowed his head forwards, the red earth pony sipping calmly at his whiskey before the dragon smiled a bit. “I can really see why Applejack looks up to you so much. You’re really, really smart.”

“Ain’t smart, just try and remember what my parents taught me.” Big Mac said softly, nodding and smiling a little. “They were the smart ponies.”

“Modest bastard.” Rainbow laughed despite himself, leaning forwards and gazing amusedly over at him. “So what, whiskey makes you finally loosen up and talk?”

“Nah. Most ponies just don’t bother to stop and ask questions.” Big Mac shrugged a bit, sipping slowly at his glass again before he swirled the remainder of it absently, and Rainbow looked thoughtful at this as he leaned back. “Good whiskey, though. Well-aged.”

Rainbow grunted, picking up the pitcher of beer and refilling his glass. “Yeah, I know what you mean: Shooter always does a damn good job taking care of all his customers, even if he is a big jerk otherwise. I’ve always liked it here, though… nice crowd, nice atmosphere… surprised that I never saw you, but then again, I’m usually down here playing pool.”

He stopped, then looked up, gazing back and forth over the others contemplatively as he said softly: “And soon we’re gonna be leaving all this behind, right? As Starlit Knights… I mean, I’m damn excited, don’t get me wrong, but… at the same time, I gotta admit it scares me a little. Maybe the booze is just making me talk and mixing me up but I look at this journey ahead of us and I think that… this is big. This is seriously big, isn’t it? I mean, Big Mac, Spike, have either of you ever been that far away from home before? Then again, I guess that your home was Canterlot, Spike… or somewhere else.”

“Canterlot was where I was hatched, what I remember as home. But now my home’s Ponyville, same as you… and either way, the furthest I remember ever going is to Appleloosa with you and the others.” Spike replied, nodding once as he smiled a bit. “What about you, Big Mac?”

“Once I saw Charger’s Crossing, but that was a long time ago, when I headed to Trotronto when my parents were still alive, before the big fire.” Big Mac replied softly, and the others glanced up at this with surprise, the red earth pony smiling a little. “Yeah, I know. Applejack doesn’t like to talk about it, ever, and I don’t blame her. It hurt her a world. At least I was older… and I suppose I learned a lot from it, too. Dragging Applejack out of the barn, then Mom, who was pregnant with Apple Bloom… inhaled too much smoke, damaged my pipes. Doctors told me not to even talk for a week and stuck me on liquids, and I guess not talking taught me how to listen. Taught me to think a lot more. Still, though…”

He stopped, then shook his head and sipped quietly at his whiskey, and Rainbow nodded slowly before he rubbed a hoof against a table, murmuring: “I wish I’d met your parents. To turn out you and Applejack and Apple Bloom, they must have been real good folks. My own parents, well… mom and dad never liked me much, since even as a filly I was different. Maybe in some way even back then I knew I was supposed to be… you know, different.

“But yeah. It sucks how often you hear about good families, but you rarely see ‘em, you know? And even more, it sucks how when ponies do have good families, they get… taken away.” Rainbow Dash shook his head, then he leaned forwards and said emphatically: “But I swear to god, I’m never gonna make the same mistakes, especially not with guys like you around, helping me keep my head on straight. I hope one day me and Applejack… I mean, you know, we do start a family. Even if we’ll probably have to put up with you tagging along too.”

Big Mac chuckled a bit, and then Rainbow smiled a little, glancing towards Scrivy as the male slowly sipped at his cola. “I guess you know what I’m talking about too, huh? Dad… well. He thought I was a freak. Mom just… sat there in silence. I know in some ways I was lucky. I know in some ways, it could have been a lot worse, but they still threw me out when they got the chance and it still damn hurts, doesn’t it? Even when you know it’s them who sucks, not you…”

“It still hurts, yeah.” Scrivy nodded, hesitating for a few moments as he leaned back, and then he smiled a bit and picked up his cola, sipping at it quietly as he glanced down. “Yeah, I know a lot about what you’re talking about. The lingering sense of shame, on top of everything else… I guess I might as well admit that’s why I don’t drink. After I got away from North Neigh, after I got out on my own in Trotronto, I found myself with a warm bed to sleep in, real blankets, clothing, food, and writing supplies. Everything I’d ever wanted and more. It was a tiny, crappy apartment, but compared to North Neigh? I couldn’t understand why ponies were complaining all the time about it. I had a roof over my head and a meal, two meals in fact, every day. My benefactor gave me more than ample money to get started, and his brother’s publishing business started taking my poems right away.

“And I was amazed when ponies wanted more of what I had to offer. Published books? I was no famous author but I was still making enough of an impact I was even asked to do a book signing, and made some extra cash there, too.” He smiled wryly. “Of course, being the rat who had lived his whole life in a cage, and now exposed to the ‘pleasure’ button, I was hitting that button whenever, wherever I could. Whiskey was my favorite… the northern and eastern varieties. And when the publishing house kicked me, well. I remember a lot of nights locked in my apartment while the lease was expiring, drinking and getting more and more miserable. I stopped eating. Stopped… living… for a little while.

“I was blacklisted by a lot of local publishers and not even the newspaper would hire me. North Neigh had followed me to Trotronto, and they had ruined my first chance there… but I ruined the rest of them.” Scrivener lowered his head, shaking it slowly as he murmured: “I just drank and hid and wished for everything to be better. I knew I was making things worse but I felt caged all over again. Finally, I realized it was the end of the month… and I realized the only thing I could do was get out and hope for the best.

“I sold pretty much everything, and what I couldn’t I either threw out on the sidewalk or gave away. I started off from Trotronto on the journey south with two bottles of whiskey, a few notebooks and quills and some ink, and a battered edition of my first book. And about ten minutes out of Trotronto I tripped and a bottle of whiskey in my bag shattered.” He smiled dryly at this, shaking his head and sipping at his cola quietly. “I threw a temper tantrum at the side of the road and am very glad no one saw me. Finally dumped my bag out, and I ended up sitting there, holding the other bottle in one hoof and the ink well in the other. I was shivering a bit, feeling a little… dry. Hadn’t been able to drink much the last few days, had been kept so busy running around and then clearing out the apartment and getting my finances in order. I remember looking back and forth… how the stupid ink well, despite being on the outside of the bag, was fine… how the other bottle had shattered despite being ‘safely’ tucked away. How much I wanted to drink… and then I cursed and threw the bottle of whiskey into rocks to shatter it, too, shoved all my booze-soaked stuff back into the satchel bag, and stormed down the road.

“I ended up in Canterlot city. I needed a place to stay, but first I wanted to see about work. I was shivering a little, grouchy, tired, frustrated, and needed a coffee more than I ever had before in my entire life.” Scrivy grinned a bit despite himself, leaning back and nodding. “But still, I ended up in a book store. And then I’m left staring because over at the poetry display, someone’s set up all my books, and ponies are clustered there, chatting and reading them. I wandered dumbly over and stared for a little while… turned out some professor was teaching my garbage. I, being humble as I am, went to go offer my services to this professor. That’s how I eventually wormed my way into Canterlot. And… that’s my story. Guess it turned out a lot longer than I expected.”

The others were quiet for a few moments, then Spike leaned forwards, asking curiously: “So you never touched another drop or anything? And… wait, how did that get you into Canterlot? The castle, I mean?”

Scrivener smiled a bit and shook his head. “I haven’t since that day, no. And well, Spike, I’ve already talked enough about me for now, so the short version is that I stayed in a free university residence for a few days while I did some guest speaking and a few readings. Some nobles attended the readings I did… drew a bigger crowd than I was used to. I was asked to Canterlot Castle by one of the nobles shortly after that, and I said I’d be glad to, since… I was still looking for either work or a publisher, and it was free food and free lodgings. Princess Celestia was in the audience, and I guess I got lucky or impressed her, because she offered me a position as a scribe, and from there I worked my way up until I was crowned Court Poet, which I gleefully lorded over everypony. I also met Twilight during those years and we clashed right from the very start.”

Rainbow snorted at this, shaking his head as he took a deep drink before smiling at him. “Now, was that so damn hard to actually talk to us? We’re good guys, Scrivy, we aren’t about to go judging you about anything, you’re one of us now. But god, I can’t believe you actually want to go back and save North Neigh after all that crap.”

“Well, it’s not that I want to. It’s that I know we have to.” Scrivener replied delicately, and Big Mac grunted and nodded in agreement as Spike smiled and sipped at his beer, then looked down at the glass stein quietly, swirling the amber contents.

“I don’t know anything about my parents.” the dragon said finally, and the ponies gazed at him curiously as the dragon looked up, smiling a little. “I was in an egg and all. But the Matron… the dragoness that took care of all the hatchlings for that first while, with the nursemaid ponies… she said that we were orphans. I think part of her duty was gathering us up, but she never talked about it much… she seemed to know things about us from the start though, you know, like she’d known our parents or something, or at least where we’d come from.

“We were kind of… too young to be friends, the other dragons and me I mean. And as we grew up, we were all made assistants to the unicorn students that had hatched us… the higher-ranking ones at least, like Twilight. But we used to bump into each other a lot, and sometimes the Matron would want us to return to the nursery, so she could check up on us and stuff.” Spike paused, smiling a little. “I guess they were like my family. We talked, we gossiped, we didn’t have a lot of fun together because we were always so busy, but… yeah. And I guess I kind of wonder some days how the others are doing… maybe when we’re in Canterlot, I’ll try and find the Matron if I have time.”

He rubbed slowly at his face, leaning forwards… then he took another long drink of his beer before murmuring: “So weird how things turned out. Twilight’s assistant, and now I’m a Starlit Knight, like the rest of you. I’ll be fighting, in a war… and I wonder. Where are the other dragons? What would they do? What have they done…” He smiled a bit, glancing awkwardly up. “I really hope that they had the same luck I did, the same good influences, and they haven’t given in to their… nastier natures. I’d hate to fight another dragon.”

The others nodded at this, and silence spun out for a few moments as they sipped at their drinks… before Rainbow Dash finally glanced up and cleared his throat, saying quietly: “The best birthday gift that Applejack ever gave me was when she showed up in Canterlot at that hoity-toity function when the Wonderbolts and I were doing a race for charity. I didn’t win… almost, came close, but Featherlight had the inside on me on that one last curve. Still, we raised… I dunno, fifty thousand? We raised a lot of money, and it all went towards helping everypony that’s lost homes thanks to this darkness.

“Anyway, she was there, in the crowd, and I saw her afterwards, sitting amidst all the rich ponies, cowboy hat on her head and dressed in flannel, everypony else in suits and dresses. My heart just leapt in my chest and it reminded me how much she means to me. How much I love her… and how much she loves me. How damned lucky I am to have her.” Rainbow smiled a little, shaking his head slowly as he leaned against the back of the booth. “She’s always there. Keeping me in check, keeping me from soaring into the clouds, reminding me to train and work out and that… who the hell cares what anyone else thinks, I am who I am and she is who she is and we all are who we are, and no pony, no anything, has the right to say otherwise. She’s proud and strong… and best of all, she’s smart enough to know that it doesn’t matter what anypony says or thinks. It matters what we do.”

“My little sister’s gotten wiser over these last few years, yup.” Big Mac said softly, smiling a bit as he nodded slowly. “She don’t pay heed to what ponies say about her now, good or bad… she don’t let that pressure get to her anymore, make her do silly things out of pride and bein’ afraid. I’m proud of her. I’m proud of you too.”

“Hey, don’t go treating me like some kid now, Big Mac, you ain’t that much older than me.” Rainbow Dash smiled despite himself, however, blushing a bit as he rubbed awkwardly at his face. “But… all the same… thanks. It means a lot. You’ve always taken care of her, after all… I know that she respects you way more than she does me.”

Big Mac only smiled in return, however, and Rainbow cleared his throat as he straightened a bit, adding mildly: “And see? I can be nice and fuzzy still. But admittedly, having sex in the locker rooms after everypony else had left was pretty fantastic, too.”

Scrivener sighed as Spike giggled a bit and Big Mac only rolled his eyes, and then the Pegasus leaned back with a wink, adding cheerfully: “Remember that time you caught us in the shower?”

“Nope.” Big Mac said pointedly, and then he leaned back and downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp before leaning out of his booth, glancing towards the mostly-empty bar… before he simply nodded a little and slipped away from the table, striding calmly towards the stairs.

Scrivener slipped to the side to watch curiously for a moment as Big Mac made his way up the steps, greeted warmly by the waitress leaning on the counter as the bartender looked up with a smile… and then Rainbow laughed and shook his head, saying amusedly: “I am so lucky he’s such a gentle giant. Otherwise I think he’d probably tear my wings off and break my face for good measure. And you know it’s not just speed that gets me noticed, it’s how damn handsome I am.”

“Which is constantly in danger because you have to press everypony’s buttons all the time, particularly ponies that could easily bruise, maim and disfigure you.” Scrivy said amusedly, and Spike nodded with a snort of agreement as the Pegasus shrugged cheerfully.

“Well, what’s life without risk?” the Pegasus winked, then he leaned over and grinned, nudging Spike playfully with an elbow. “So since it’s just me and Bookworm here, tell me, Spike, you really still a virgin or have you gotten a little more than a kiss before? And how do you clop when there’s always ponies around in the library?”

“Rainbow, oh come on! I thought we were done with that!” Spike said in a strangled voice, leaning back and turning scarlet as he fumbled at his glass stein of beer, and Rainbow laughed and shook his head, holding up his hooves with a grin that was half-teasing, half-apologetic. “And maybe I don’t, did you ever think of that?”

Rainbow only snorted at this, however, saying amusedly: “You guys are seriously no fun at all. The Wonderbolts are so much more awesome than you, and not just because I’m one of them and because they’re all lightning-fast athletes and generally cool ponies.”

Scrivener only rolled his eyes, however, and then he glanced up for a moment before saying mildly: “Well. Nice as this was, Rainbow Dash, I should probably get going. Luna’s apparently causing mayhem, as always, and we need to reconnect soon anyway or we’ll both start getting grouchy and tired.”

“Oh come on, stay for one more round, Big Mac hasn’t even gotten back yet!” Rainbow Dash leaned forwards almost pleadingly as Spike nodded a few times, likely not wanting to be left alone with the Pegasus’s awkward questions and stories. “And… hey, look, see, now you gotta stay.”

Scrivy glanced up curiously… and then he laughed a bit when Big Mac returned with the waitress, both ponies carrying trays: Big Mac’s tray had a large bowl of chips and a second filled with pretzels, cheese rings and other food, while the waitress’s tray had a bottle of old whisky and three shot glasses, and a large bottle of cola for Scrivener.

The charcoal pony smiled a bit in awkward embarrassment as Rainbow Dash whooped and Spike looked surprised, the two quickly setting the drinks, food and glasses out over the table before the waitress took stacked the trays and empty pitcher with a grin, winking to Big Mac. “Don’t be too rough on the boys now, you hear? I’m sure the last thing Applejack wants to deal with is a whiny, hungover Rainbow Dash in the morning.”

“Yup.” Big Mac gave her a nod and nudge, and she laughed before picking the trays up and carrying them with the heavy glass pitcher towards the stairs, as Big Mac gave Rainbow Dash a slight smile. “Well?”

“I do not mind ending the night this way.” the Pegasus grinned, running his hoof around the edge of the shot glass as Scrivener picked up his bottle of cola with a smile to Big Mac, who nodded in return, then drew his eyes back to Rainbow Dash as Spike picked up the small glass and examined it curiously. “You, though, better only have one or two. This is mostly between me and Big Apple. Glad you’re finally accepting that drinking contest… you know, you might be huge and all, but I think I got you beat.”

With that, the Pegasus reached out and popped the bottle open, pouring himself a shot before examining the label and whistling to himself. “Nice. Imported from Seashore Isles, expensive stuff and… wait, is this going on my tab too? For the love of god tell me I’m not paying for this!”

Rainbow looked up with a wince, and Big Mac shrugged calmly, which made the Pegasus grit his teeth before he dropped the bottle and picked up the shot glass, muttering: “I am now going to get very drunk, and this stuff better be as good as they say it is. But before I do, I’m going to drink you under the damn table.”

He tipped the glass back, draining the shot in one hit before shivering and shaking his head briskly, and Spike stared a bit as Big Mac placidly picked up the bottle and filled his own shot glass. Then he paused before leaning forwards, filling Spike’s as well, and then Rainbow’s again as the Pegasus glared at him… before the red pony smiled as he rose his shot glass, saying quietly: “To family and friends.”

Rainbow smiled despite himself as Spike looked up and Scrivener Blooms laughed, three glasses and a plastic bottle clinking together as they repeated: “To family and friends.”

They all drank, Spike managing to swallow half his glass before he hiccupped and his eyes bulged, Big Mac sipping it down as calmly as water as Rainbow tossed down the shot as fast as the last and Scrivener swirled his cola in his jaws. They drank, grabbed chips and party mix, ate and talked even as Big Mac and Rainbow Dash both continued to put away shot after shot, until near the bottom of the bottle, Rainbow burped loudly, giggled like an idiot, and then dropped face-first onto the table, drooling a little as he mumbled: “Think… gonna… boobies.”

Big Mac shook his head, then he grabbed the bottle and filled up his shot glass once more, raising his glass in a toast to the drunken, dazed Pegasus before drinking it and letting out a sigh of relief. He smiled as Scrivener and Spike both stared at him, the dragon also swaying slowly on the spot despite only having sipped at roughly two and a half shots of the strong alcohol… and then Big Mac reached out and picked up the bottle by the neck, tilting it back and drinking deep from it to swallow the last of the contents before he calmly put this down and said in a voice only slightly slurred: “Yup. Haven’t done that for a few years, and it’s going to be a few years more before I do it again.”

He paused, then closed his eyes and leaned back, comfortably crossing his forelegs over his chest as he breathed slowly in and out, relaxing as Scrivener whistled a bit. “What are you, made of steel or something?”

“Well, I wasn’t trying to get drunk, see. That wasn’t my focus… my focus was just on drinking more than Dash.” Big Mac said calmly, as if this explained everything. He didn’t bother to open his eyes, a slight smile on his face as he continued: “I used to do this once a week, when I was younger and a little brasher. Shooter taught me a lot about drinking and mixing drinks and how to do it all right. My mind does most of the work. My body does the rest. Now let’s get Dash up and I’ll take him home. Little sister will be mad at me, but madder still if we don’t do a little to fix him up.”

“I am totally… not… drunk.” Rainbow said in a slurred voice, flopping a bit against the table. “I’m just… just tired. Gimme another drink. Or a second. A second drink?”

“Am I drunk? I don’t know if I’m drunk or not. Is this being drunk?” Spike asked lamely, his features a little flushed, swaying a bit as he looked dumbly at Rainbow Dash. “I know I’m not that drunk, but…”

“No, you’re definitely not that drunk. Stand up slowly and see how you handle it.” Scrivener said mildly as he put his empty bottle of cola aside, and Spike nodded, the dragon carefully slipping out of his seat and swaying a bit… but wheezing in relief as he straightened and cracked his back, seeming a little more stable already. “Okay, good. So Twilight won’t beat us to death. Big Mac, you good?”

“Yup.” Big Mac slid away from the table to his own hooves, shaking his head once before he glanced towards where Rainbow was leaning against the back of the bench now, giggling a little to himself. “Come on, Rainbow, let’s go see AJ.”

“Yep.” Rainbow flapped his wings lazily as he half-dragged himself across the bench and out of his seat, wincing a bit as he stood and swayed a bit, but Spike lent a steadying hand to his shoulder, the Pegasus nodding a few times and dropping his head forwards with another dumb giggle. “This has been the best night ever. Seriously. The… the best night ever. I love you guys. All of you guys. Guys, we should do this every night, guys.”

Scrivener only smiled indulgently as Spike giggled a bit and Big Mac gave the Pegasus an amused look, and the group carefully made its way towards the steps. The red pony rose a hoof to the bartender, Shooter, but the bearded pony only rose his own in return with a grin, saying mildly: “I’ll just put it on his tab, don’t worry. I’m looking forwards to seeing what he looks like when he comes in to pay it off tomorrow, that’ll be the icing on the cake.”

“We’re gonna do this all again tomorrow?” Rainbow said stupidly, and then he giggled and nodded. “Awesome. Best night ever. See, what’d I say, this was the best night ever.”

“We really do have to do this again, I really enjoyed it.” Spike added as they headed for the door… and Big Mac and Scrivy both nodded after a moment, the charcoal pony smiling despite himself as the dragon continued in a ramble: “Rainbow, this… thank you, seriously. I mean… this is great. This is awesome. This is… guy’s night out should always be like this.”

“Yup.” Big Mac said kindly, and Scrivener laughed as he pushed the doors open for the ponies and dragon, then he wheezed and winced as Rainbow Dash suddenly turned and hugged him, pinning him back against the open door for a moment, resting forwards against him and making the earth pony clear his throat awkwardly.

“You’re big.” Rainbow said dumbly, and then he pushed away after a moment, frowning a bit and adding: “I was gonna… say… something. Something uh… yeah! Thanks dude. Thanks you all, dudes, guys. This was great. Come on, Big Mac, let’s head back to the ranch.”

With that, the Pegasus nodded firmly, then began to walk across the street… and Big Mac rose a hoof to the dragon and the earth pony before hurrying ahead and gently grasping Rainbow’s shoulder to lead him to the left, Spike hiccuping once before he giggled stupidly for a moment. Then he grinned at Scrivy, and the earth pony nodded firmly, falling into step beside the dragon as they headed in the opposite direction, towards the library at the center of town.

“So… uh… what do we tell Twilight? Or Luna? I mean. I guess you don’t have to worry, you didn’t drink and all… that was cool, right? That was okay, right?” Spike asked lamely, rubbing at the back of his head as he stumbled a little, then quickly shook his head and righted himself, blushing as Scrivener smiled amusedly at him.

“It’s not my place to chastise or deride other people’s pleasures. As long as no one’s trying to force it down my throat, all power to you to do what you like.” He paused, adding meditatively: “The smell… can bother me at times, brings back… memories. But it’s not so bad. And besides, we were all having fun and you guys respected me with minimal mockery, so it’s perfectly fine. You should be more worried about Twilight’s reaction, since I’m sure Luna’s blabbed all about this already, so… be honest.”

“Oh God.” Spike winced a bit and grabbed at his face, blushing furiously as he looked up towards the massive tree in the distance, lights shimmering faintly in the windows. “What about the others, are they there, do you know? I don’t want Rarity to see me drunk!”

“You’re not drunk, Spike, you’re just buzzed.” Scrivener replied with a snort of entertainment. “And I’m pretty sure they left shortly after Luna insisted on trying to play ‘party games’ with them.”

The dragon nodded a bit… then he winced as the door in the tree flew open and the profile of a unicorn filled it, a clump of shadows in the distance before Twilight’s frustrated voice shouted: “Spike, Scrivy! I want to talk to you two!”

Spike quailed a bit, but Scrivener only laughed as he nudged the dragon firmly. “Oh, don’t worry, I recognize that voice. That’s the ‘I’m angry because Luna won’t stop harassing me’ voice. Come on, let’s get this over with.”

With that, the earth pony strode onwards, Spike half-hiding behind him as he smiled awkwardly nonetheless, the dragon still reveling in the pleasures of the guy’s night out even with the glaring unicorn waiting impatiently for them in the doorway promising much-sterner nights to come spent inside before they left for North Neigh.