Double Date

by OleGrayMane

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Granny Smith, Romance, Spa Ponies, Original Character
Length: 16128

Cousin Jay Orange from Manehatten comes to Ponyville for business and pleasure. After arranging a deal with Filthy Rich, he sets up a date for himself and Big Macintosh with the spa ponies, Lotus and Aloe, but nothing seems to go as planned.

COUSIN JAY ORANGE from Manehatten comes to Ponyville for business and pleasure. After arranging a deal with Filthy Rich, he sets up a date for himself and Big Macintosh with the spa ponies, Lotus and Aloe, but nothing seems to go as planned. Also features Pinkie Pie, Mr. and Mrs. Cake.

Proofreader: TigerFang

Published 2012-12-18 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-28 02:41:05 UTC

Chapter 1—Deals and Dates

As always, the train trip from Manehatten was dull and uncomfortable. The journey seemed to be composed of nothing but bumps and dust, with the high point being a box lunch, where eating the box seemed preferable to eating its contents. But Ponyville was close-at-hoof, and it meant one thing for Jay Orange, some decent rest and good food at his great aunt's farm.

His stay in Ponyville wasn't about visiting relatives though, it was about expanding the family's business. Orange Imports brought in goods from all over Equestria—even a few from overseas—and, as a junior member in the firm, Jay's job was to do the hoof work of visiting retailers across the countryside introducing new products and signing new accounts. Ponyville wasn't exactly a major market, but the little town was growing, and the ambitious Oranges would never leave a single market untapped. Places like Ponyville were the perfect place for an young salespony to advance his career.

Jay stretched as he stood on the platform and surveyed the station and its surroundings. He could see no cabs for hire, so he decided to hoof it down to the farm. A nice walk would feel good after hours of riding in an uncomfortable, noisy train.

One of these days, I'm going to have my own private berth, he thought. No more squabbling with accounting over expenses—first class, all the way. Yes sir, Mr. Orange! Right away, Mr. Orange! Just wait and see.

To make his dream come true he needed to make some very profitable deals for the firm, and Ponyville had some real potential.

He gathered up his bags and got his bearings. It had been years since he was last here to visit the Apples, and there had been many changes in the little town. It pleased him to see the place grow, and he enjoyed looking at the new developments as he headed off to Sweet Apple Acres. Jay was looking forward to staying with family rather than at some two-bit hotel.

He paused in front of a new store who's sign indicated they sold quills and sofas. He shook his head in disbelief. Only in Ponyville—I give 'em another six months.

As he moved on, there were plenty of businesses he did remember from visits of his youth. Down the street to his left he could see good ole Sugarcube Corner; he would pay them a visit in a few days. But the real target of his trip was Filthy Rich and his little retail empire. If Jay managed to land the Rich account it would be quite a coup for Orange Imports, and a step up the ladder for him.

Being a young stallion, Jay's mind wasn't strictly business, and although he may have been from Manehatten, the most cosmopolitan city in all Equestria, like many in his profession he loved the game of pursuing the small town filly. It may have been a bit late in the afternoon, but plenty of ponies were still on the street, and Jay liked what he saw.

His eye was quickly drawn to one of the loveliest flanks he had seen in a while. It was attached to a filly selling flowers on the street—a cream colored flank marked with a simple, red rose beautifully matching the color of her mane and tail. He sighed in delight. He'd have to remember her.

Unfortunately, he had no time to chat her up. It was getting late and he was weary from the long, boring ride. Right now all he really wanted to do was get to his lodgings at the Apple family farm. And damn if he wasn't hungry for some of Granny Smith's old fashion cooking.

~~~

“Ah'm sorry we didn't get ya a better spread nephew, but we weren't too certain when ya'll be in. Ah promise we'll make it up to ya tommora,” Granny Smith apologized as she and Applejack began clearing the table.

“Granny,” he began as he slid back from the table, “even the most simple fare is a feast when the Apples mares make it.” He had always called her 'Granny' even though she was actually his great aunt. Jay knew flattering the cook was always a good idea, and if there was one thing he had mastered it was flattery. “If you mares out do yourselves tomorrow night I don't know how I'll ever be able to eat again!”

“Oh, you!” Granny laughed at his transparency. “Enough with yur fancy talk, so what exactly are ya'll trying to sell while yur here in Ponyville?” She returned from the kitchen and seated herself at the end of the table.

“All the usuals, spices, exotic foods, and some new canned fruit.” He raised a hoof and stood up. “And that brings me to gift time.” Jay turned around and proceeded to pull a few items from his bags he had parked along the wall.

“First something for you sweet little Apple Bloom.” He placed three oblong cardboard boxes side-by-side on the table. All of the Apples stared at the incomprehensible foreign writing on the boxes and the unusual drawings depicting their contents.

“Thanks, but, uh, what are they Cuzin' Jay?” She looked at the drawings of what appeared to be sticks dipped in mud.

“It's a tasty little biscuit dipped in flavored chocolate, dear. We've been selling these for quite a while in Manehatten and they are very popular, particularly with you young fillies. This one here is banana flavored, this one is coconut, and this one is, uh, um, uh...” He pondered the illustration, looking for a clue to the content's flavoring. Not finding anything he could readily identify, he concluded, “...this one's a surprise. You will have to tell me what flavor it is.”

“Neat!” she replied enthusiastically. “Can Ah have some now Granny?”

“Just one now dearie. But don't fret, we'll make sure some of them get into your lunch for school, all right?”

The little filly opened the box, extracted one of the 'surprise' flavored sticks, and began happily munching away. “Mmm, sorta fruity,” she said between crunches, “but Ah cain't tell what type. Granny, could you put in some extras in my lunch, for Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo that is? Ah'm sure they'd like these.”

Applejack smiled and ruffled her sister's mane. “We'll make sure ya have enough for yur friends.”

From across the table Big Macintosh piped up to his youngest sister, “Could Ah have one of those too?”

“Sure,” she replied and pushed the open box in his direction. The big red pony put an entire stick in his mouth and began crunching away.

“And for my big cousins,” Jay stated as he placed two bottles on table, “some fine imported toilet water.”

Mac halted his noisy crunching, and gave his cousin a perplexed look. “Wha kinda water?”

“It's another word for perfume, Mac!” Applejack blurted. “Even Ah know that.”

“Eau de Cologne, Mac, it's good stuff, I use it everyday,” Jay reassured him. “A lovely lavender for my lovely cousin,” he said as he gave one bottle to Applejack. “And your's Mac, contains rare spices and some expensive tree resin I'm told.”

Macintosh looked skeptical as he took the bottle and unscrewed the top. He gave it a good whiff. His nose crinkled and his eyes narrowed as he pulled his head back and declared, “Strong stuff.”

“Strong stuff for a strong pony!” Jay joked as he rested his hoof on the red pony's massive shoulder. “And you just need to use a little, you don't need to take a bath in it.”

Applejack chuckled. “Well, thank ya' Jay. Ah don't know when Ah'll get to use such a fancy thing, but thank ya' anyway.”

He smiled and nodded his head in acknowledgement. “Now for my hostess, and premier chef of Ponyville—“

“Ah'm warning ya' 'bout yur silver tongue,” Granny shot back as she pointed at Jay. “Yur layin' it on too thick.”

“—some exotic fruit from across the sea.” He proudly placed a box made of thin wood strips upon the table and removed its top, revealing a dozen small cans inside.

Granny Smith removed one of the cans and turned it about in her hooves. She examined the label carefully and then placed the can down in front of her. “Am Ah understanding the label right ta think these here things got an orange in 'em?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

The Apples all stared at the small can in front of their grandmare. “An' how they get a whole big orange into one these tiny things?” she asked skeptically.

“Well, it's not a regular orange for a start,” he explained, “it's a special variety that's smaller than a regular one—no seeds, already in sections, very delicately flavored.”

A chorus of understanding “Ahhs” came from his relatives.

“You can eat them plain, mix them with other fruits, or even use them in baking. This is one of the new items I'm going to try to get Mr. Rich to carry.” Jay's voice carried genuine excitement about the product, but he was nervous at the Apple family's reaction. Now was his chance to gauge the market for the product, using his relatives as test subjects.

“Why don't we try some?” he suggested cheerfully.

Applejack took the can to the kitchen while Granny got spoons from the sideboard. Applejack returned with a small bowl filled with contents of the can. The four Apples sat with spoons in hoof, suspiciously eyeing the tiny orange segments, waiting for somepony else to try some. Granny finally went first, followed by her eldest granddaughter.

The two Apple mares looked at each other as they tasted the delicate flavor and exchanged approving nods. Macintosh and Apple Bloom tried the treat next.

Macintosh took a second spoonful then declared, “Ah'd like it better if it was in a nice sweet syrup.”

“Macintosh, ain't you got no couth?” Applejack admonished. “It's quite tasty, Jay, Ah like it.”

“Thank you, I'm glad you do. And your opinion, Granny?”

“Ah think we can put 'em to good use in the kitchen.” She nodded thoughtfully. Since she was a businesspony as well as a consumer she asked, “So how much you reckon these gonna sell for?”

“We wholesale them for twelve bits a can and the suggested retail is sixteen bits.”

Applejack let out a prolonged whistle.

“Well now,” a startled Granny stated, “Ah don't know how often these will be gracin' our table at dem prices, but they sure are tasty, and Ah thank ya for 'em.”

“You are welcome, Granny.”

“If'n yur all done showerin' us with gifts we best be getting' things ready for tommora'. Why don't you and Mac sit a spell on the porch while me and Applejack finish up here. We'll join ya'll later.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jay replied.

“Apple Bloom, if ya got homework you best be finishin' it now.”

“Yes, Granny Smith,” she said reluctantly.

“Ya'll got yur orders. Now, hop to it, let's go!” the elder mare exclaimed as they rose from the table in unison.

~~~

The two cousins sat on the porch in the cool evening air like they had done many times over the years. Jay had always enjoyed sitting out in the evenings when he was younger. The farm seemed such a contrast to the hustle of the big city, with its open spaces and the breeze sweetened by the ripening fruit. But no matter how pleasant it seemed, he was convinced the small town lifestyle would drive him mad, and he was always grateful to head back home.

“So, what have you been up to big feller?” Jay prodded his laconic cousin.

“Oh, same as always. Workin', eatin', sleepin', workin' some more.”

“Ah.” Cousin Mac had never been a conversationalist, but Jay thought the response was rather pathetic. Regardless, he proceeded with his real line of questioning: finding out what Mac knew about the ladies in town. “So, are you going to put that cologne to good use on some nice filly?”

“Like on a date? Naw, Ah don't do that no more,” came the sullen reply.

“What do you mean, 'no more'?”

“Ah, ain't got time. There's too much work to be done.” Macintosh's weary voice seemed to belong to a pony twice his age. “An' when Ah'm done workin', Ah'm just plumb tuckered out. All Ah want to do is hit the hay.”

A frustrated Jay wasn't about to let his cousin drown in self pity.

“Mac, you are wasting the best years of your life!” he fumed. “You need to get out and live! Look at you—you're good looking, you have a physique they would kill for in Manehatten. Do you know there are stallions who pay good bits to work out seven days a week and they aren't half as built as you are?”

Mac hung his head in quiet despair.

“When was the last time you went out with a filly?” Jay grilled him.

“Uh, Ah don't know—” Mac searched his memory. “Maybe 'bout two years ago?”

“What!” Jay's response made Mac turn his head and look sullenly out into the orchards. Jay shifted to a less emotional line of questioning. “Well, don't you know any fillies in town?”

“Not really.”

Jay assumed it was Mac's shyness. All I need to do is work with him a little, get him to relax, open up a bit. He'll be fine.

“And why don't you know any fillies?”

Macintosh's voice filled with anger and frustration. “'Cause most of the time Ah'm workin' here on the farm,” he snapped resentfully. “An' when Ah do go to town it's to cart goods back and forth, and no filly wants to talk to some sweaty ole workhorse, that's why!”

“I'm sorry cousin, I didn't mean...”

“It's all right, it's just who Ah am—ain't yur fault.”

Jay sat quietly, letting his active mind formulate a plan to help his forlorn cousin, and himself as well.

“Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do. But I can't have you getting shy or anything. No backing out on me, okay?

“What you plannin'?”

“I think I'm going to have some spare time tomorrow afternoon, so, let's say I spend my time rounding up a couple of nice fillies to go out with us, would you be game?”

“You serious?”

“Of course I'm serious, but if I do swing it, you have to promise to go. I don't want to hear excuses about work or being too tired. I won't promise you anything, but if I can arrange it, will you go?”

“You'd do that—for me?” Mac looked incredulously at his cousin.

Jay looked him directly in the eye. “For you, absolutely!”

“Heck yeah Ah'll go,” came the enthusiastic reply.

“There we go! That's the Big Macintosh all the fillies love.”

“Jay yur a goof!” The big pony grinned bashfully, giving Jay a shove that almost toppled him off the porch.

Jay recovered his balance and delivered a solid smack to Mac's back. “Watch it you ole workhorse, don't hurt the goof who is going to get you a date!”

“Okay, city slicker,” Mac jested and the cousins shared a congenial laugh in the evening air.

~~~

Jay's sales pitch to Ponyville's leading retailer lasted a little over an hour. Mr. Rich was receptive but there was just something that wasn't clicking. Sure he was nodding his head, grunting at the right places, and even occasionally asking a question, but Jay got the feeling that Filthy Rich wasn't ready to make a deal. When the businesspony finally spoke at the end of the presentation Jay's fears were realized.

“I must say Mr. Orange that was a fine presentation,” Rich pronounced from behind his desk, “and I like Orange Imports's products, but—”

“But what Mr. Rich?” He hid his nervousness behind a cheerful façade. “If you have any reservations you may rest assured that we at Orange Imports are more than eager to answer your questions.”

“Of course, of course...” Rich massaged his chin thoughtfully. “It's not so much to do with your goods, or your fine presentation, it's more to do with—well, Ponyville.”

“I don't understand, sir.”

“You see,” Rich pontificated, “Ponyville is still rather, how can I say this politely, provincial. Why your specialty products would be right at home in Manehatten, or on the Rich's family table for that matter, but I'm not so sure about the rest of Ponyville. Folks come to us for bargains, not fancy goods, that's why 'bargains' is in the name of the store, get it?”

“I do, sir,” Jay replied tactfully, “and I think that—” The office door behind him flew open with a bang, startling both occupants of the office. Then the voice of a snotty little filly assaulted their eardrums.

“DADDDDY—”

“Darlin' I've told you—”

She talked over her father and continued up to his desk. “—I need one-hundred bits—”

“—I'm in a meeting—”

“—so I can go out shopping with Silver Spoon.”

An embarrassed Rich grinned nervously at his guest and introduced the little pink filly, “Mr. Orange, this is my lovely daughter, Diamond Tiara.”

“Charmed,” he lied.

The child paid him no attention and continued her demands in a strident voice. “I need it now Daddy, we want to leave right now!”

Her father tried to be graceful while gritting his teeth. “Say hello to Mr. Orange, dear,” then he bent down and whispered under his breath, “or you won't get your money.”

She finally deigned to recognize the room's other occupant. “Oh, hello. Now about my money—”

“You should be more polite my dear,” her father scolded while grinning. “He's a relative of your little Apple friend.”

Diamond Tiara slowly turned her head to look at the pony seated across from her father. Being related to an Apple in any way made a pony her enemy, and her eyes narrowed into daggers that pierced Jay's soul.

He smiled back nervously while thinking, What a little—

“He's an important salespony from Manehatten.”

Manehatten—the word acted like a magic spell which triggered dreams of social climbing in the filly's mind. Manehatten! That's where she belonged, not in this wretched backwater. One day she would be in the big city. It would be her destiny!

Suddenly her face lit up and her voice became saccharine. “Thank you for visiting us, Mr. Orange. I hope you enjoy your visit.” She swiveled her head back to glare at her father, and was once again her arrogant self. “My money?”

“Yes, yes, dear.” He slid open a top drawer to retrieve a bag of bits. “There you are darling. Go enjoy yourself.”

Having completed her extortion she became ebullient. “Oh, thank you Daddy!” she bubbled as she trotted out. “Nice to meet you Mr. Orange!” she exclaimed and slammed the door.

“Now,” Rich sighed, relieved that he was free from his terrible progeny, “where were we?”

“We were discussing your reservations, about your customer's sophistication.”

“Yes, that's it,” Rich stated. “I fear I just won't be able to sell your goods, no matter how fine they are. The two just aren't the right fit, you see?”

“Now, Mr. Rich...” Jay began to nonchalantly gather up his papers. “I think you are underselling yourself, on two points.”

A surprised Rich perked up and grinned at his guest. He wasn't sure if he had received a compliment or an insult. “How so?” he pressed.

Let's see if we can inflate the old hay bag's ego a bit, Jay thought.

“Well, first you are renowned for being one of the sharpest businessponies in these parts. I'm confident that you would be able to sell our products. After all, I'm told that if you can't sell it, why, it just can't be sold.”

Rich put his elbows on the desk and brought his hooves together studiously. “True, true. And your second point?”

“And second, I think you are underestimating your cultural leadership in Ponyville. You are so hard at work here,” he gestured to indicate the store at large, “that you don't realize how ponies see you and your family as trendsetters.”

Rich took the bait. “Hmmm, go on...”

“Once the word gets out that you and your family are using our products, I'd be surprised if they didn't fly off the shelves. Your customers see you as much more than a store owner Mr. Rich, they see you, and your family, as leaders of the community.”

The room fell silent except for Rich tapping his hooves together lightly. The two salesponies stared at each other for what seemed an eternity to Jay. Finally Rich broke the silence.

“I like the way you think young sir,” he declared, “and I do like Orange Imports's products. I'll tell you what I'm willing to do. I will take a risk on some of your new products—providing we can reach an amicable deal, of course.”

Jay kept his cool despite his excitement. “Excellent. I'll just get the pricing sheet,” he stated calmly as he began to rifle through the papers in his bags, “and we can get started—”

“Well, I'd like to do that too, but you see I've got another appointment soon, and I think this is going to take a while. Hmm, let's say we meet again tomorrow—at about ten o'clock—and we'll draw up the contract.”

“All right,” Jay replied pleasantly. Although he suspected Rich was up to something, there was little he could do at the moment. Never mind, he told himself, at least you got the deal. “Till tomorrow morning then.”

“Yes, tomorrow.” Rich got to his hooves and escorted his guest out.

~~~

Jay felt pretty darn good about himself. Here it was just past midday and he had at least a verbal agreement with Rich. Sure, it would have been better to get it down on paper, but that was a worry for tomorrow. He had a beautiful day and the remainder of it was his to use as he pleased, and being past noon, it pleased him to have lunch. The little café was the best place to eat in town this time of day. It was clean and convenient, a perfect place for him to grab a bite, have a cool drink, and watch the fillies walk by.

He asked the waiter for a 'front row seat', outside, near the road. He was led to a small, pink toadstool table: he stared at its absurdity and smiled. Only in Ponyville, only in Ponyville.

Once seated, he ordered a nice vegetable soup and a tall, cool drink. With business done for the day, he would have plenty of time to see if he could corral dates for himself and Mac. He thought he should go see if he could find the filly with the rose he spotted the other day. Maybe she had a sister, or a friend, to complete the foursome.

Jay relaxed after eating and ordered a second drink while he continued his scheming. Sometimes I seem to enjoy the planning and the hunt more than the conquest, he mused. But today there would be no need to hunt, as his quarry trotted right past him.

They were positively radiant as their coats and manes shone in the midday sun. The mares were simply appointed but fundamentally elegant and Jay's heart skipped a beat. They must be twins, for they were virtually identical except for the reversed colors of their coats and manes. He stared dumbfounded as they ambled past his table and through the streets of Ponyville. He need no convincing, they were just what he and Mac needed!

He needn't pursue them now, he would take his time and devise a plan. Ponyville was a small town and it wouldn't be a problem finding them. He sipped his drink and chuckled softly to himself, “Today is turning out quite nicely.”

He signaled for the waiter. “Say, you didn't happen to see those two nice young mares who passed by did you? Could you tell me who they are?”

“Those two? Oh, they run the Day Spa all the chic mares frequent.”

“I see.” Jay rubbed his chin connivingly. “And where is this spa?”

“It's about two blocks down the road, the one to the left.” The waiter pointed to the road the pair had just trotted down. Jay didn't look like the type of stallion who frequents spas, so the puzzled waiter asked, “If you don't mind sir, why do you want to know?”

“I was thinking of seeing if those two were available tomorrow night, to go on a date.”

The waiter looked at Jay as if he had said something extraordinary. “Excuse me for being forward sir, but you're not from around here are you?”

“Uh, no, I'm from Manehatten.”

“Ah, well, good luck then,” the waiter replied with a sardonic grin. “While I'm here, may I get you another drink?”

“Yes, one more please, then the check as I think I need to be headed to the spa.”

~~~

Granny cooked up a big spread in honor of her city kin that evening, just simple fare but delicious and plentiful. Jay had his fair share of the feast, but he had to fight for it, as his cousins seemed to be bottomless pits. By the time dessert arrived he thought he could eat no more, but hot from the oven Apple Brown Betty with fresh whipped cream managed to convince him to soldier on.

He managed to make it about halfway through before he had to admit defeat, and the only graceful retreat was to praise the cook. “I've had some might fine meals, but this was fit for Celestia!” he declared.

Granny smiled and gave him a nudge, “Oh, ya still like my country cookin' like when ya was a youngin' eh? Well if ya liked tonight's, we got a hummdinger planned for ya tomorra.”

“I'm sorry Granny, but I'm afraid I'll have to take a pass on tomorrow night,” he announced. “You see I've made plans for tomorrow evening.”

“Business plans?” Granny asked.

“No, far from it. I had some time on my hooves this afternoon, so was able to arranged a date with a couple of nice mares—for me and Mac—for tomorrow evening.

“Oh, that's so kind of ya,” Granny chimed as she headed back to the kitchen to begin her nightly chores. “Mac hardly gits out the house anymore. He needs a bit more socializing, don't ya Mac?”

Her prodding elicited a barely audible grunt as the big red pony continued to shovel down the tasty dessert.

“And an opportunity to use that cologne I got for him,” Jay added jokingly.

“So who are these nice young mares, anypony we know?” Granny asked loudly as she began her cleaning up.

“Why yes,” her great nephew said casually, “it's those two nice businessmares that run the Day Spa.”

Applejack suddenly grabbed her throat, choking and coughing violently. Forks froze in mid air as the dinners stared at the distressed mare, waiting to see if she would survive the attack. For quite a while, the room remained still and silent except for Applejack's dwindling coughing fit.

“Land's sake child,” Granny said as she peered with concern through the doorway, ”did Ah leave a core in there again?”

Applejack wiped her watering eyes with a napkin as she regained her composure.

“No Granny,” she apologized hoarsely, “Ah'm sorry. Ah just swallered wrong.” She cleared her throat with the last of her cider.

“Well you be careful there dear,” the old mare advised kindly. Applejack's siblings went back to noisily finishing their dessert as if nothing had happened.

“Well, Ah think Ah'm done for the night anyway.” Applejack rose from the table. “Oh, Cousin Jay, if ya don't mind could Ah talk to ya—” She focused a frosty glare at him.

“—outside—NOW,” she growled through clenched teeth.

~~~

“So what's so urgent, Applejack?” They walked from the dining room towards the front porch but she gave no reply. Once out on the front porch, Applejack turned around to face him and unloaded both verbal barrels.

“Julius Orange! Have ya lost yur cotton pickin' mind?”

He cringed. He hated his given name.

“What? What did I do?”

“You know perfectly well what! Messin' around with dem spa ponies, that's what!”

“And what's wrong with that?” he pleaded. “There's nothing wrong with going out on an innocent date with two nice...”

“First off, those two ain't innocent, and probably not nice! But mah big brother is and Ah don't want ya to...”

Jay threw his head back and rolled his eyes. “Oh for pete's sake Applejack! Look at him,” he boiled. “He is all grown up, he can take care of himself. And what's wrong with those two mares? I'm pretty sure you have been to their spa, haven't you?”

“Yes, Ah have, and that's the problem.” Applejack's demeanor changed and she plopped down on the porch. “When we're there, they uh, sometimes, they, well...” She hesitated, looking for the right words, and unable to find them she abruptly said, “Ya see they tell stories—stories Ah ain't gonna repeat.” She looked away and began to anxiously rub one foreleg with the other.

Jay sat down too. “Stories?” he asked softly.

“Yes, stories. Stories no ponies should repeat, least not no nice ones. Ah mean, well, Rarity seems to enjoy them. Pinkie laughs too—'course she laughs at pretty much anythin'—but Ah'm not certain she understands 'em. Fortunately, those two got sense enough to never tell 'em when Fluttershy's around, and Twi' an' I, well, we always try to change the subject. But Ah think they like embarrassin' us or sumptin'.”

Jay's curiosity was thoroughly piqued. “Really?”

“And then there's stories that Ah heard from other ponies in town, and they make the ones Ah hear from those two sound down right...”

“What a nice cool breeze,” Granny observed as she ambled onto the porch to enjoy the evening. “What y'all talkin' about?”

Applejack's head snapped up and her eyes opened wide. “Business Granny, just business folks, uh, talking business talk.”

Granny walked to the end of the porch and sat down in her rocker. “Well, that's nice. Ah hope business is good for ya nephew. Ya gonna be right busy again tomorra ain't ya?”

“Yes, ma'am, Mr. Rich and I are going to sign a contract tomorrow.”

“That's good news there, but watch yurself,” Granny warned. “Filthy can be a real snake, wrigglin' around till ya don't know if ya got the head or the tail. Sometimes things in life ain't always what they seems, an' that's especially true when dealin' with Filthy Rich.”

“I'll keep an eye on him Granny.”

Applejack rose to retire for the night, but stopped to poke her cousin in the chest. “Yeah, watch yurself cousin. Goodnight, Granny.”

“Goodnight, dear, see you bright an' early for breakfast.” The old mare looked out into the distance, watching night descend over the farm. “An' you best get some rest too nephew. Sounds like yur gonna have a busy day ahead, an' yur gonna need yur wits about ya.”

“Yes, that's a fine idea, Granny. Goodnight.”

Chapter 2—Best Laid Plans

So much for ten o'clock, Jay thought. Rich politely greeted him, told him something had come up and left him sitting there. Ninety minutes passed—ninety minutes alone in the waiting room with Rich doing something or other in his office. Well, at least he had been 'kind enough', as he said, to leave the contract to look over.

Jay didn't have to spend too much time to form an opinion of the contract. This reeks worse than the stalls at halftime at a Manehatten-Fillydelphia hoofball match. It is like the old hay bag doesn't want the deal. He has nothing to lose, so why propose this unpalatable mess?

He had finished reading the contract, and there was nothing but his own apprehension to keep him from drifting off to sleep. The ticking of the clock began to mesmerize him, then Rich finally emerged from his office.

“Sorry to keep you waiting so long,” Rich said as he stood by the door, gesturing for Jay to enter, “but you understand how things come up.”

“Ah, yes,” Jay commiserated, “there is always a development that we don't expect, isn't there. I hope that everything is resolved now?”

“Yes, lets get down to our business.” Rich closed the door behind them and hurriedly took a seat behind his desk. “You've read the contract?”

“Several times now.” Jay successfully resisted being more sarcastic.

“Oh! Excellent, then I'll get a pen and—” Rich's hoof hadn't made it to the desk drawer before Jay interrupted him.

“If only it were that easy,” he began. “I am afraid there are a few things we will need to go over.”

Rich retreated and stared coolly at Jay. “And those would be?”

“First I'd like to discuss your labeling requirements. Orange Imports is used to private labeling requirements, but yours poses some problems.”

“How so?” Rich brought his hooves together in front of his face and nervously smiled.

“Well, by having your picture on the labels we are going to have to use a rather expensive four-color printing process, and your contract states that we are to bear all the additional costs. If we could remove your picture we could use our standard procedures and there would be no issue.”

“But Jay,” Rich chortled, “it was your idea after all, wasn't it? Didn't you say these would 'fly off the shelves' if they had my personal endorsement? What better endorsement could there be than my picture on the label?”

“Hmmm, I guess you could say that.” Jay flipped the pages of the contract slowly, and deliberately. emphasizing his displeasure. “And the requested promotional material for your ad campaign—we are to produce them for you and again pay all the costs?”

“Your costs in Manehatten would be trivial compared to what I would incur here in Ponyville, and having your printer do both the labels and the ads will ensure that they are a perfect match, won't it? I'm sure they will look splendid.”

“Of course, our printers always do excellent work,” Jay uttered unemotionally. He stared deadpan at Rich until he flashed back a nervous smile. Jay continued leafing through the contract.

“I think we can figure out how to do the labeling and printing, but now on, um, page six, you require that we reduce the size of the cans by twenty-five percent. You do realize these oranges are canned overseas don't you? We don't own the canning factory and I don't even know if they can make such a size.”

“Well you will just have to work that out with them won't you?” Rich crossed his forelegs in front of his chest as he scowled.

“We will check,” Jay replied pleasantly. “But may I ask why they need to be twenty-five percent smaller?”

“So I can sell them for twenty percent less—we specialize in bargains after all,” Rich replied.

Unable to resist the urge for sarcasm Jay quipped, “Such a deal for your customers.”

Rich's glare became decidedly icy but he remained silent.

“Finally, we come to a rather strange request here on page nine, in the—” Jay paused as he counted down the instruction on the page. “—fifth paragraph. Let me quote it so that I get it right: 'All items, materials, collateral et cetera shall be free of all marks, imprints, designs, logos, et cetera of the party of the second part', where Orange Imports is said party.”

Rich began to seethe.

“We appreciate your desire to private label, but I'm sure you can see why Orange Imports could not completely disassociate itself from one of our signature products—” Jay's words were cut short by Filthy Rich's explosion.

“You fancy Manehattens think you can wheedle your way in here and take over my family business don't you! Well, I have news for you, it's not going to happen, not now, not ever!” Rich slammed his hooves down on the desk rattling the contents of its drawers. “My family has worked hard to create this business and our way of life in Ponyville, long before any of you, you, big city corporations even knew we existed! I'll be damned if I will let you or anypony else, come in here and make me a night-shift manager in a business my grandfather founded!”

So the old fool is scared of us just by this measly contract? Jay suppressed a laugh. At least now he had the information so he could deal with the problem, but first he let Rich's panting abate.

“Mr. Rich, I don't know what you have heard about us, but Orange Imports isn't that sort of company. We succeed when you succeed—we want to work together. The reason we came to see you is because we know how successful Rich's Barnyard Bargains has been and we know that you know how to succeed in Ponyville.”

With the bulk of his anger spent, Rich went back to the crossed forelegs position behind his desk, while Jay continued to salve the businesspony's fears.

“Even in a hundred years, Orange Imports wouldn't know half as much about doing business in Ponyville as you do.” Jay mustered as much earnest as he had ever done in a pitch before. He leaned forward towards the proprietor and said, “Mr. Rich, Orange Imports wants you—needs you—to be our partner in Ponyville. That's why, I promise you I will do everything in my power to get my manager to see this contract your way.”

Rich avoided looking at Jay by staring at his hooves silently.

“And to help me do that I only ask one thing of you Mr. Rich—”

Rich looked up stone faced at the salespony.

“If we could just increase the size of the order to, let's say, three gross, I'm sure it would be much easier to have him see it your way, wouldn't it?”

Rich continued to sit silently fuming.

“Could you do that, for me—please?” Jay pleaded.

Silence reigned.

“All right,” Rich agreed reluctantly. “Three gross, but no more,” he grumbled.

A wave of relief poured over Jay. “Thank you, you won't be sorry,” he promised as he took the pages of the contract and shoved them in his bag. “I will write up a letter to the home office today explaining your position, and get it off in the evening mail.”

“Mrgrmph,” was Rich's reply.

Jay extended a hoof to the recalcitrant Filthy Rich. It hung awkwardly in the air for several seconds before Rich could bring himself to be civil and return the gesture.

“Thank you so much Mr. Rich,” Jay piped with mock enthusiasm as they shook hooves, “I'll get on this right away.”

“Uhmmrmp,” Rich mumbled, unwilling to budge from behind his desk.

Jay quickly, and unceremoniously, saw himself out.

~~~

Three gross! All this for three gross! What I won't do for this company, Jay thought as he shuffled down the street. If Rich hadn't such a grip on Ponyville's retail, I'd tell the conniving, paranoid, old fool to cram it!

He thought about what he was going to tell the home office, what he would recommend, and how to spin it so he didn't look bad. What he really wanted to tell them was to make Rich's nightmare come true. He fantasized about Rich standing behind the counter working the late shift in some bad section of Fillydelphia, and grinned evilly.

Soon enough Jay found himself standing outside his next appointment, and looking at it he could have no evil thoughts. Sugarcube Corner and the smells emanating from within lifted his heart and he could only be filled with joy.

It was just as he remembered it from years ago, the absurd gingerbread building with its cupcake tower, and he thought wryly, Only in Ponyville. Despite the building's over-the-top architecture, its delicious treats held a special place in his heart.

When he was sent to his obligatory two-weeks in the country as a colt this place would be the final destination of the weekly shopping trips. Granny would take Mac and himself to make the rounds on market day. The two colts would run amok expending their youthful energy much to Granny Smith's dismay, but as long as they didn't get into too much trouble, they would stop here for some delight before the trip back to the farm.

It was so simple then... he waxed nostalgically. He pulled himself back to the present, and prepared to enter the bakery. Well, the Cakes should certainly be much easier to work with than Filthy Rich.

Jay stepped into the chaos that was Sugarcube Corner's storefront. The Cakes were running back and forth between the kitchen carrying boxes and yelling at each other. Clattering and clanging rang forth from the kitchen while white smoke crept out over the top of the door frame.

He stood in the middle of the fray, apparently invisible, until Mrs. Cake slid to a stop in front of him on one of her hurried trips.

She looked at Jay in a wide eyed panic and asked, “And you are?”

“Im Jay Orange—”

She closed her eyes and bellowed, “Pinkie!”

“Uh, yeah?” came the reply from the baker in the kitchen.

“Orange!”

“I thought you said the frosting was supposed to be blue.” The response was followed by the sound of crashing bakeware.

The small blue mare put her hoof to her forehead and yelled back, “No, not that—”

“Mrs. Cake...” Jay interjected unsuccessfully.

“Orange, the Orange order!” she barked back.

In the kitchen a piece of glassware met its end. “It will be in on Friday with everything else.”

Jay tried again. “Mrs. Cake...”

“No, the Orange order, he's here right now!”

“Tell him to put it by the back door I'll get to it later,” came the shout from kitchen.

“MRS. CAKE!” Jay finally had her attention as well as that of her husband. Suddenly the establishment was quiet, until there was a loud poof and a cloud of flour poured from beneath the swinging doors to the kitchen.

The proprietress looked dumbfounded, obviously stressed, and thoroughly confused.

“I'm Jay Orange,” he said deliberately.

Mrs. Cake had only a perplexed look in response.

“Jay Orange, of Orange Imports, I had an appointment today.”

Her face collapsed in realization. “Oh dearie, dear, dear!” Stress and embarrassment brought her to the edge of tears.

“But I see this is not a good time, is it, hmm?” he suggested while smiling charmingly.

“I'm so sorry Mr. Orange. No, it isn't. Somepony forgot about an order for a rather large party this afternoon.” She scowled over her shoulder at Mr. Cake who resumed his scurrying about.

“Yes, well, we will reschedule. I'll still be in Ponyville for another day or so.”

“Thank you Mr. Orange, I'm so sorry...”

“Thats quite all right, how about tomorrow morning about ten o'clock?”

“Yes, that would be fine,” she said, “as long as somepony hasn't forgotten anything else.”

“No sugar plum, I haven't,” came Mr. Cake's cheery reply.

“Excellent,” Jay pronounced, “I will see you then.”

As he headed for the door the chaos resumed and Mrs. Cake dashed back to the kitchen. Jay chuckled as he started back to Sweet Apple Acres. What nice ponies, and great bakers, but they really need to learn how to plan better.

~~~

Granny Smith was sitting on the porch, enjoying a small break after lunch, when she spotted Jay walking up to the Apple homestead.

“Yur here awfully early, nephew. Business not so good today?”

“No, business has not been good at all.” He threw his saddlebags on the porch in disgust. “I think I got bit by that snake you call Filthy Rich,” he sighed as he sat next to the old mare.

“He's a tricky one, ain't he?” she chuckled. “But his family ain't outwitted us Apples yet, and Ah 'spect you Oranges will do all right too.”

“I'm not sure of that, but thanks for the vote of confidence Granny.”

“Yur welcome. Now, how 'bout yur business with the Cakes?”

“Postponed till tomorrow—seems they forgot about an order and didn't have time to see me.”

She cackled and slapped her thigh. “Oh, those two! Fine bakers, but they'd forget their manes if they weren't attached!”

Jay smirked. “Say Granny, when does the mailmare stop by here?”

“Not for another two or three hours I reckon. You expecting sumptin'?”

“No, I have to write up something on this Rich deal and get it back to the home office.”

“Well get it writ and Ah'll make sure she get's your mail posted.”

“Thanks Granny.” Jay stretched. “After that, I think I might just go take a nap.”

“Restin' up for yur an' Mac's big date, eh?” She jostled him in the ribs. “Well, I find the porch is a fine place for a nap, and you might too, if'n ya can stand my snorin'.”

~~~

Granny's snoring was not unlike the sounds of street repair in Manehatten. How such a tiny old mare could make so much noise escaped Jay. He thought about going inside to rest, but eventually the afternoon sun coaxed him asleep despite the racket. When the approach of Applejack and Big Macintosh woke him the old mare was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, he looks like the real industrious sort don't he Mac?” Applejack taunted.

“Uh, huh, huh, eeyup,” his cousin chortled.

“Ha, ha, you two,” Jay's sing-song reply went out. “I'll have you know my work was done hours ago.”

“Good for you,” Applejack snarked.

“So, Mac, you ready for our night out?” Jay asked as his cousins joined him on the porch.

“Jus' give me some time to warsh-up and Ah'll be ready to go,” Mac said as he ambled into the house.

“No hurry, we've got plenty of time.”

Applejack sat across from Jay and crossed her forelegs. There she sat, coldly staring, giving Jay the silent treatment.

Finally, Jay threw up his hooves questioningly as if to ask What did I do?

“Don't you look at me like that Jay Orange,” she snapped back. “You get in trouble every time you come here. Yur a troublemaker, and you've been gettin' mah brother in trouble ever since you two were colts. Ah won't have it happen agin'!”

“I have not!” he protested loudly. “When did I ever cause trouble?”

“Let me see...” Applejack cocked her head and uncrossed one leg so she could tap her chin. “How 'bout the time you and Mac ran off from Granny on market day and she couldn't find you two for hours.”

“Pffft! That was more than twenty years ago! And how do you know about that, you weren't even born!”

“Maybe not, but Ah've been told. Ah am old enough to distinctly remember an incident up in the hay loft with a certain 'picture book' you brought from the city...”

“Oh come on! This is all ancient history—we were just colts!”

“An' finally, Ah can remember cleaning-up the mess you two made with a little after hours party a few years ago.” She shuddered remembering the scene.

“All right, I'll give you that one—we were old enough to have known better,” he replied sheepishly. “Things just got out of hand, you know how that is.”

“No Ah don't, cause Ah don't ever act that way!” Applejack insisted. “An' neither does Mac, at least not when you ain't here.”

“All right, all right, so I've been a bad influence. What is the point of all this? Do I need to go to Canterlot Cathedral and repent to make you happy?”

“No,” she said seriously. “Ah just want you to promise me you ain't gonna do nothin' to get you or Mac in trouble tonight. Cause if you do, Ah promise you, Ah won't never forgive you. You understand me?”

Jay tried to look as angelic as he could. “I promise AJ, we'll stay out of trouble, both of us will.”

“Good,” she stated emphatically as she rose to go inside. “Cause unlike certain ponies Ah keeps my promises.”

~~~

Jay waited anxiously on the porch with Applejack and Granny Smith for Mac to come down. Neither of the mares spoke to him and for that he was grateful. It was better to have awkward silence than to have yet another verbal battle with his cousin, who watched him like a hawk. Finally, Macintosh presented himself, cleaned and brushed.

“Oh, there's my handsome young stallion!” Granny bubbled as she clapped her hooves together. “Don't yur brother look fine, Applejack?”

“Yeah, just—peachy.”

Mac blushed as he walked over to join Jay.

“Whoa, Mac! How much of that cologne did you use?” Jay's eyes were burning.

“Just-a bit. Ah told ya it was strong stuff.”

“You weren't kidding. No bother, it will wear off on the walk to town.”

Applejack gave her cousin a steely glare and reminded him, “You remember what you promised.”

“Don't worry,” Jay reassured her, “everything is going to be fine.”

“It's getting late, you two better head out,” Granny said. “You boys have a nice time now!”

“We will!” Jay hollered back as the two began their walk towards the main gate of Sweet Apple Acres.

Applejack and her grandmother sat on the porch watching the two young stallions start off on the road to Ponyville.

“Ah'm worried Granny.”

“Now why is that, dearie.”

Applejack hesitated. “Well, Ah know Mac is, uh,” she began uneasily, “he's big, and strong and growed up and all. But inside, he's still like a little colt, ya know what Ah mean?”

“Hmmm,” Granny replied noncommittally.

“He can be such a nice fella, Ah'm worried folks might take advantage of him—maybe even his own cousin. Ah just don't want to see nobody hurt him Granny, that's all.”

“Now dearie,” Granny started her homespun wisdom, “yur brother's got a pure heart and a sound mind, and well, if he needs to do more gowin' up, well he will have to do it himself. Growin' up means makin' mistakes, and no pony can tell ya what's right and what's wrong sometimes, ya got to learn yurself. The best we can do is to be there, if'n and when, he needs us, ya understand?”

“Ah guess so Granny.” Applejack looked at her hooves, a bit ashamed for being protective. “But Ah can still worry cain't Ah?”

“Yes dear, ya can,” Granny Smith chortled, “and it's sweet that ya do.” She reached out and put a reassuring hoof on her granddaughter’s shoulder. “But Mac and yur cousin are big ponies now, and they will have to take care of themselves. An' Ah'm sure they will be all right, even if they are goin' out with them two sluts from the spa.”

Applejack's face froze as she slowly rotated her head to stare at the old mare beside her. “Uh—did you just...”

“Now, let's get inside and get dinner ready, yur sister will be hungry.”

~~~

Well at least something is going according to plan today, Jay thought. He and Mac picked-up the two spa ponies after the mares had closed up shop for the day. Jay hooked up with Lotus and Mac with Aloe, and the foursome began their way to the little restaurant at the end of town.

Jay made idle chit-chat with his date to pass the time. How long had they been in Ponyville? Did they have any hobbies? Who was their favorite princess? All the usual questions.

Mac didn't seem to need to converse as Aloe was already rather attached to him—physically. After Jay had provided the introductions—the mares already new Mac from seeing him in town as well as from talking to his sister—Aloe immediately starting nuzzling up to Mac. As they trotted briskly through the street, the attention he was receiving from his date sent the big pony's head to the clouds. With his head held high and chest puffed out, he let the small pink mare brush her cheek against his neck as they made their way to dinner.

Jay was delighted to see his cousin's disposition improve so dramatically from the other night. Seeing the pessimistic 'ole workhorse' replaced by the spry stallion made Jay feel that he could work miracles. But Jay's miracle seemed to fade as they reached the restaurant and Mac began to fidget. As the waiter began to guide them to their table, Mac got his cousin's attention.

“Uh, Jay, can Ah talk to you?” he asked hesitantly.

“Sure... Ladies go ahead, we'll join you in a bit.” Jay looked at the waiter and asked, “Could we have a bottle of dandelion wine, if that's all right with you ladies?”

The spa ponies smiled pleasantly and the waiter scurried off to fetch the bottle. Mac lead Jay back to the restaurant's entrance.

“So what's up Mac?”

“This is an expensive place right? Ah didn't know we were gonna go here.”

Jay rolled his eyes in frustration. “Weren't you listening when we were talking about this back at the spa when we picked the mares up?”

“Uh, no, not really.”

“Oh, right—no you weren't.” Jay smiled as his cousin blushed. Aloe's affections made him quite oblivious to the conversation. “So, its expensive—“

“Ah, don't have enough bits to pay for my own dinner at a place like this, let alone somepony else's,” Mac whispered to avoid embarrassment.

“Don't worry old fellow,” Jay chuckled, “I'm paying for everything tonight, well I should say the company is going to pay for it. I'm going to expense the whole thing.”

“Wha? So exactly how is takin' two mares and me out to dinner a business expense?” Mac looked at his cousin skeptically.

“That is for me to worry about, not you, okay? They are business mares, so we'll talk some business—I'll figure something out.” Then Jay added righteously, “And accounting better not complain! Your dinner is only partial compensation for the Apple family putting me up the whole time.”

Macintosh conceded to his cousin's logic. “Okay, as long as ya think it'll be all right.”

“Of course, it's going to be all right. Now let's get to the table before they drink all of that wine.” Jay nudged Mac's side and lead him off to where the two mares were seated.

Both of the mares ordered dainty meals that befitted their nature. Jay followed suit with his entrée, and Macintosh was, well, Big Macintosh. And, of course, Jay ordered more wine.

Aloe's attraction to Mac continued as the evening progressed. She was much more interested in cuddling up to him than she was in eating her meal. Mac was enjoying every minute of it, as long as it didn't interfere with his eating.

In contrast to the amorous activity across the table, Jay felt like he was not making much progress with Lotus. He started with his typical play, talking about his travels, big deals he had made or would make. That sort of bravado had never failed to impress the wide-eyed, small town fillies, but tonight his stories were falling flat. Although she remained attentive and polite, she was definitely cool.

Somewhere between a story about a big deal in Fillydelphia and one about the lost shipment of goods going to Las Pegasus, Jay began to notice things getting a bit strange across the table. Aloe's cuddling had transformed into sniffing. At first it was just sticking her nose into Mac's fur and mane while she breathed in deeply.

Is she a bit tipsy already? Jay wondered.

Then came the snort—heard by everypony in the restaurant.

Macintosh looked down at his date with an uneasy smile, then quickly looked over at Jay for reassurance. Jay, like everypony else in the establishment, was staring wide-eyed at Aloe.

Lotus crinkled her face and adroitly delivered a blow to Aloe's foreleg under the table, eliciting a yip. The injured mare returned to reality.

“Excuse me,” Aloe said demurely as she returned to paying superficial attention to her meal.

The interruption was as good a time as any for Jay to decide his next move. He considered how to proceed since his previous conversation didn't seem to be working on Lotus. Well I've done enough talking for the night, he thought, let's see what she has to say.

“Well, it must be very hard for two mares like you and your sister to run a business all by yourselves,” he fawned.

“Well, not too hard, but we do have difficulties, like last week—” she began.

Jay reached for his glass of wine to help tune out her talk. He didn't ignore her; he just made sure he nodded at all the right places, made sympathetic sounds, or added polite laughs. But in two minutes he wouldn't remember a thing she had said. He preferred it that way.

The one thing he was paying attention to was Mac. The snort had him edgy, and Aloe had resumed her sniffing. He kept one eye on the pair while feigning attention to his date. He filled his glass with the last of the wine and then dropped back into her conversation.

“So it has always interested me, exactly what types of things do you do at a day spa?” he asked.

She looked perturbed at the question. “Well, as I said, we offer the usual services: facial masks, body wraps, mud treatments, and we have our very popular hot tubs.”

“Hot tubs, eh? You know I've never actually been in one, can you image that?” He rested his head in his hoof and grinned invitingly.

“Well, Mr. Orange, don't you think it would be wonderful treat for you and Mr. Apple to come to our spa and try out our very relaxing hot tubs, eh?”

“What do you think, Mac, would you like to go try out the hot tub?”

Mac stiffly shook his head as he stared nervously at his cousin. “Gee, Ah don't know—Ah all ready had a bath this week.”

Lotus giggled as if he had made a witty remark. “Oh no, Mr. Apple, it is not for bathing but relaxing. Isn't that right sister?” She had to deliver another well placed kick to get her sister's response.

Aloe quickly popped to attention. “Yes, yes, very relaxing. I promise you will enjoy it very much,” she said as she began to stroke Macintosh's chest.

“Come on Mac, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.” Then he silently mouthed, You promised.

Mac looked down at Aloe. Her sweet smile was hard to resist, plus he had promised Jay he wouldn't back out, and an Apple never broke a promise. “Uh, all right, if ya think it's a good idea.”

Lotus clicked her hooves together in satisfaction and declared, “Then its agreed. My sister and I will prepare the hot tub—”

“And Mac and I will settle up here and meet you at the spa,” Jay announced.

“Excellent—Aloe let us go.”

Aloe gave Mac a quick peck on the cheek and went to off to join her sister by the restaurant entrance. As she joined her, Lotus began a hushed argument in a language that Jay could not quite place.

Jay turned to watch the two depart for the spa and, once they were out of sight, he turned his attention of his cousin.

“Mac, what's the matter with you? Can't you see how much that filly likes you?”

“Ah know, but, uh,” he said as he anxiously rubbed his mane, “she's getting kinda weird don't ya think?”

“So she's a little weird—look at her—she's gorgeous!” Mac bowed his head. “Don't blow this Mac, both for your and my sake, don’t blow this.”

“But she was startin' ta lick my mane, Jay,” he insisted. “That's more than a little odd.”

“Ah, Mac,” an exasperated Jay sighed, “what I am going to do with you? I understand you are nervous, but trust me, things are going to work out great. You just need to trust me, okay?”

Macintosh looked away from his cousin.

“Remember, you promised,” Jay pleaded.

Mac looked down silently. Finally, he agreed, “Okay, if you say so.”

“There you go!” a triumphant Jay stated emphatically. “Let me go take care of the tab, and then we'll go try out those beautiful mares's hot tub, deal?”

Mac put on a stoic face and nodded. “Deal.”

~~~

This was the way life was meant to be lived, Jay though as he sank a bit deeper into the tub. Fine wine, beautiful mares, and luxurious living had him forgetting the day's disappointments. I'll definitely have to get one of these when I make it. Oh, and a hot tub too. He pulled Lotus a bit closer to celebrate his inner satisfaction.

The lovely blue mare had finally seemed to warm up to him—he smiled at his ability to charm her. Maybe it was the relaxation of the tub that did the trick, or possibly the bottle of wine he had brought back from the restaurant. Either way, he really didn't care, as long as the result was the same. He turned and watched her resting her head on his shoulder. Just perfect. He gave her a gentle kiss and pulled her tighter in his embrace.

As he and Lotus continued to enjoy each others amorous company, Jay would occasionally catch a of glimpse of his cousin and Aloe on the other side of the tub. He peaked around his date's flowing pink mane to see if his cousin was making as much progress as he was.

It was hard to tell exactly how Mac was doing—he looked a bit wooden and detached—but Aloe seemed to be doing just fine. She was rubbing Mac's wide, muscled chest, her nose buried deep in his mane, nostrils flared in olfactory ecstasy.

If only he'd relax more, Jay thought, he could really have some fun in this town.

Lotus caught him glancing at the pair on the other side of the tub. She pushed back from their embrace and looked at Jay. With a few quick shakes of her head she asked him if she should send them on their way. Jay's pulse quickened as he eagerly nodded back.

Lotus turned about and sat next to Jay and began to hang on his shoulder. Jay stroked her cheek.

“Sister,” she began while looking at the other couple, “Mr. Apple still looks a bit tense. Would not a nice massage be good to help him relax? He has had a hard workday, a massage would help his tired muscles, don't you think?”

Aloe withdrew her face from Mac's mane and smiled wryly. “Yes, a very good idea.” She expertly flipped herself out of the tub and instructed, “Come with me, Mr. Apple, we will get you dried off and have a nice massage.”

“Uh, Jay?” came the red pony's plaintive question.

“You need to relax Mac. Go ahead, get a massage.”

“Come now,” Aloe commanded him, “out now—this way.” She gestured in the direction he was to take.

Mac stepped awkwardly out of the tub taking a large volume of water with him. Jay and Lotus giggled as he straightened up and shook himself off.

“Very good now, follow me.” Aloe directed him down from the tub and towards the hallway. He bit his lip and gave one last glance back at his cousin.

Jay held on tightly to Lotus's wet, slippery frame as he waved Mac onward.

Once the other couple was out of sight Lotus deftly spun about and planted herself on Jay's lap.

My she is direct! he thought. This was not a shy small town filly who needed persuading, she was more like some of the fillies he'd know in Manehatten. No wonder his stories had failed to impress her. He had underestimated her simply because she lived in Ponyville, and he thought it might have been the most pleasant mistake of the day.

He smiled and reached out to pull her closer, but before his hooves could reach her shoulders, his progress was halted by a hoof planted firmly between his eyes.

“Ah, ah, ah, Mr. Orange,” Lotus scolded as she waggled her other hoof in front of him. “Do not be so bold. You are in my establishment, and here I am in charge, yes?” With a forceful shove, she pushed him backward till his head gave a resounding thunk on the rim of the tub. She put her hooves on her hips and smiled deviously.

His uneasy grin only served to delight her more. Maybe, he thought to himself, this mistake isn't so pleasant after all.

Chapter 3—Consequences without Truth

“Goodnight gentlecolts, pleasant dreams,” Lotus trilled as she closed the door of the spa behind them.

The two cousins stood silent in the cold, damp night air, their eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. If it hadn’t been dark enough already, the spa ponies extinguished the lights inside, leaving them with only the light from the last quarter moon.

Neither moved or said a word, as if they were expecting somepony or something to tell them what to do next. Jay slowly got his wits about him.

“I, ah...” He trailed off, not knowing what he should say, if anything.

“I think we, uh, I think...” Again he drifted off, trying to make sense of the evenings events.

“Ya think what?” Macintosh shot back tersely.

“I'm thinking that we might have just been, uh, used.”

The big red pony stared angrily off into the dark, his mind an unpleasant combination of embarrassment and resentment.

“Uh, what do you think?” Jay persisted.

“Maybe. Ah don't know.”

“So, uh, do you want to—”

Mac brusquely cut him off. “Nope, you?”

“Uh no, no, not right now.”

This had been one of the roughest days of his life. Nothing seemed to be working out the way he had planned. The date should have been enjoyable, relaxing, but instead it ended up being—confusing. The disappointments, the hour, and the receding effects of the wine finally caught up with him. Exhausted, his spirit sank like a stone.

“You know what I think...” he resumed.

“Ah don't wanna know what you think no more,” Macintosh snapped hostilely.

“I think,” his voice quavered, like a child on the verge of crying. “I think I just want to go home.”

Macintosh turned and looked at his cousin's hollow stare. The confident pony he had known since his youth, the one with the bright ideas, the one who always knew best, had been replaced by a pony who might actually be frightened.

“Comon' Jay, Ah'll git ya home,” Mac said softly. Slowly the two began to walk through the side streets to the road that led to Sweet Apple Acres.

The walking and the cold air began to reinvigorated Jay and as they reached the edge of town, he felt he needed to say something to Mac.

“Mac, I want you to know I'm—I'm real sorry about tonight, okay?”

“That's all right, ya didn't know.”

“Yeah,” he replied guiltily and quickly changed the subject. “Say Mac?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember years ago when we found the jug that Granny had hidden in the kitchen?”

“Yeah,” Mac snorted. “Ah remember, and Ah remember we got in big trouble fur that.”

“Right, we sure did. I was thinking though, maybe we should go find that jug again.”

Macintosh smiled. His cousin, and his penchant for trouble, was back. Well, if there was an occasion for finding the jug, tonight just might be it. “Don't worry cuz, ya won't have no trouble finding it, it's still in the same place.”

“Good, that's nice to know. Thanks, Mac, for everything.”

Macintosh shook his head in disbelief as the two walked in silence down the dark country road towards home.

~~~

Breakfast the next morning was anything but silent, but even silence would have been too much for Jay to bear. Several hours with Granny's hidden jug in the wee hours had taken its toll, and although it had helped him ease his mind then, he was paying for it now.

Big Macintosh wasn't himself either. Instead of plowing his way through the usual four bowls of oats he sat quietly drinking a cup of black, astringent tea, staring straight ahead to avoid any eye contact whatsoever with Applejack.

Jay remained motionless with his head in his hooves trying to contain the pounding pain. He looked down at his half consumed cup of tea so he would not have to face his cousin's wrath.

She sat across from them, her mouth pulled taught, her angry glare darting between Macintosh and Jay, looking for an opening to attack. Compounding Jay's self inflicted misery was the hostile manner Applejack seem to be eating her breakfast. Clack! Her spoon struck the edge of the bowl each time she took a mouthful of oats. She chewed slowly and deliberately, never diverting her icy glare.

Apple Bloom was oblivious to the cold war taking place next to her. She was engaged in the telling of some pointless story of the schoolyard to nopony in particular.

“—so Sweetie Belle said you better not do that and Scootaloo said yes Ah am just watch—”

Clack! Applejack took another mouthful of oats and glared. Mac took another sip of tea, the cup rattling in its saucer. Jay's skull came one step closer to cracking.

“—and Scootaloo said see Ah told ya Ah would, and Sweetie Belle said she couldn't believe it—”

Oh Celestia, strike the child dead, he begged. Or me, whatever it takes to end this.

“—and Sweetie Belle said Ah betcha' cain't do it again and Scootaloo said—”

“For heavens sake ya little flibbertigibbet,” Granny chastised, “finish up and get to school now. Ah'll have no more tardy reports from Miss Cheerilee.”

“Yes, Ma'am,” she said as she stuffed one last spoonful of oats in her mouth and trotted off to get her things. “Bye ya'll, bye Cousin Jay.”

Jay continued to stare downwards but gave a perfunctory wave. He was free of her shrill babbling, but the younger sister's departure meant Applejack would have one less reason to hold her tongue.

“My that child sure does go on,” Granny chortled as she gathered up the little filly's bowl and headed for the kitchen. “Ah've no idea how she eats so much with all that talkin' goin' on.”

With Granny safely puttering in the kitchen, Applejack's ire was unleashed. Her hooves slammed down rattling the dishware. The suddenness and the noise made Jay wince, but Macintosh continued staring stone faced at the far wall as if nothing was amiss.

“Which one of you boys gonna 'fess up and tell me what in tarnation went on last night,” she hissed at them.

Macintosh rose, avoiding eye contact with his sister and announced, “Ah have to git ta work.” Turning around he headed for the door like a wind-up toy.

“Big Macintosh!” Applejack snapped as she turned toward him. “Macintosh! You git back here right now!” The big red pony continued on his course of escape. Jay only wished he had such an easy route.

Applejack wheeled back to her cousin and demanded, “Julius Orange—”

“Oh, not with that again AJ...”

“You tell me exactly what went on last night or Ah will kick yur flank all the way back to Manehatten!” she clamored.

“Listen, it was complicated, and right now I don't feel—“

Once again, Granny rescued him. “You boys got in awfully late last night, dinya?” she yelled from the kitchen.

“Yes, Ma'am, a bit late,” Jay replied as he decided to finish the rest of his now cold tea.

“Ah, figured, but that's what you young fellers do.” She held a stack of cookie sheets over the stove and let them drop, reproducing the sound of a train wreck.

Jay choked on his tea as the metallic clatter echoed inside his tortured skull. The Apple mares seemed bent on killing him this morning. If only they would hurry and finish the job...

“Granny, you okay?” Applejack called out in concern.

“Oh, my, just call me butter hooves,” she said as she peered through the doorway and gave a sly wink. “Well, I hope ya'll had a nice time,” Granny said and returned to her work in the kitchen.

“Hrmmm,” was all Jay's throbbing brain could dredge up. He returned to holding his head tightly as if the external pressure would somehow balance the internal and make the pain go away.

“Looks like ya even had a little party when ya'll got back,” Granny Smith mused as she prepared for her next assault on Jay's frazzled nerves.

Dammit, he remembered, I didn't put away that jug.

“Guests should show some courtesy,” she admonished as she picked up a cast iron frying pan in her left hoof. “They should leave an ole mare's kitchen in order before they retire.” She slammed the pan into the side of the stove as hard as her aged body could manage. The rebound caused her to stumble backwards but the blow had the desired effect of causing the pan to ring like a bell.

Jay felt the vibrations travel through his body as if he was trapped in Canterlot's highest bell tower at noon. The vibrations decided to settle down in his teeth so they could truncheon his dehydrated brain. He laid his head on the table and whimpered.

Applejack could no longer contain her snickering and laughed openly. Granny stood in the doorway, one hoof on the frame and the other at her hip holding the instrument of Jay's torture.

“Why don't 'cha go upstairs and get cleaned up there nephew. Havin' a nice wash and brush up will make ya' feel loads better. Git some good healthy water in ya.” She concluded her instructions with, “And there's aspirin in the medcin' cabinet, ya'll be wantin' that too Ah expect.”

“Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry...”

“Oh, ya don't need to be sorry, ya look sorry enough already,” Granny taunted. “Now go take care of yurself. Don't forget ya got business to tend to today.”

Jay hung his pained head and headed upstairs while Granny went back to the table to sit with Applejack. With her victim out of earshot, she defiantly placed the pan on the table and stated, “And that's how ya do it.”

Laughter from the two mares filled the room. As it dwindled, Applejack wiped a tear from her eye, and her mood became serious. She wanted answers, and Granny Smith might just be the one to pry it out of the two stallions.

“Granny, you saw how Mac was acting this morning. Why he didn't eat a thing—tain't like him at all. Those two did sumptin' bad last night, Ah just know it.”

“Maybe they did and maybe they didn't,” the old mare replied casually, “that's their business. If they gots something to say about it, then they'll tell us.”

Applejack wasn't satisfied with her grandmother's apparent lack of curiosity. “Ya gotta get the truth outta them Granny. 'Cause if they did something bad they gotta be punished.”

“Well,” Granny chuckled, “Ah've dealt yur cousin some punishment just now, and his body is gonna punish him enough for his drinkin' last night.”

“What about Mac then, if he don't get punished how is he gonna learn anything?”

“There ya go agin' tellin' me how to raise your big brother.”

“Sorry, but—”

“Never mind, never mind,” Granny interrupted. “Yur brother is smart enough to learn on his own. Let me tell ya a story about him from before ya were born. He was just a tiny feller, there in the kitchen with me whilst your folks were out working the farm.”

“Ah was cookin' up a hearty lunch, 'cause yur poppa's appetite was twice that of yur brother's, and ya know that little foal was just fascinated by the ole stove. He wanted to play with it just like his granny was doin', but Ah told him that it were hot and it was gonna burn him. But he wouldn’t listen. He was a stubborn youngin', it's a trait in our here family.”

Granny winked and Applejack blushed.

“'Course the minute my back was turned fur just a second, Ah heard him cryin'. He was sittin' over by the stove cryin' and cryin' after burning his hoof. He wouldn't believe me, no, he had to learn it the hard way. But ya know what, he had the good sense never to touch a hot stove agin.”

Applejack nodded thoughtfully at Granny's tale.

“Now, yur brother is smart enough to learn from his mistakes, so Ah'm not worried about him. Yur cousin on the other hoof, well he's got problems learnin' lessons—he's the type who'll touch that there stove twice. Don't get me wrong, he's a smart pony, it's just that he gits too full of ideas, and don't think twice about what he's doin' to others or even hisself. If'n there's a pony round here you should be worried about my dear, it's him.”

~~~

The cold water on his face and a quick mane brushing helped return Jay's looks to respectability, and the aspirin helped ease his pounding head. His appointment at Sugarcube Corner was almost upon him, and now, like Mac, he could use work as an excuse to prevent further questioning by Applejack.

As he walked to Ponyville, the mid morning sun felt good on his body, something pure and therapeutic. But soon his headache returned and his face felt flush. It was as if all his blood needed to be in his head to escape what was happening farther south in his body.

What initially started as a small gurgle—which he assumed was due to only having tea for breakfast—grew to resemble the defective plumbing of a Manehatten tenement. He froze on the road just outside of Ponyville as he cramped up, and his previously hot head broke out in a cold sweat.

Keep it together, he pleaded with his body, you can do it. You've done it before, don't fail me now.

The cramps retreated, the sweat began to evaporate, and the mere absence of pain made him feel immeasurably better. Relieved, he quickly but cautiously completed his journey to Sugarcube Corner. He paused outside its entrance, took a breath, and stepped inside.

Where previously the smells of the shop had brought back memories of his foal-hood, now it only brought back memories of what took place on the road. The sweats returned and a disquieting feeling overtook his entire body as the nausea began to gather strength.

Oh please Celestia, not in here!

He closed his eyes in concentration to drive the feeling down. But the concentration was shattered as a pony who was entirely too pink and too shrill seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“Hi'ya! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie blared in his face. “What can I get for you today?”

He struggled to speak through the rising pain, “I'm...”

“Yeeees...”

“I'm...”

“...here to buy something?” Pinkie snapped back.

Jay rose a hoof to hold her off for a moment while he focused on getting words, and only words, out of his mouth. “I'm Jay Orange—” He gulped. “I'm here to—”

“Oh! Hey Mrs. Cake,” she screeched across the shop, “it's that salespony you were expecting.” Pinkie peered curiously into Jay's face trying to determine what was wrong. “And he doesn't look too good.”

“I'm coming dearie!” Mrs. Cake called back. “I'll be right there.”

Pinkie continued to get dangerously close to his face. “You really don't look too good...”

“Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake scolded and the pink mare pulled back. “We've talked about this before haven't we? You need to give ponies their personal space.” She trotted up to where the two were standing, but stopped in her tracks seeing that Pinkie's appraisal of the situation was accurate.

“Mr. Orange—are you all right?” she asked quietly.

Jay nodded. “I just need—a second.” He bowed his head and closed his eyes, thinking only of breathing in and out. In a few seconds the spasm had passed. He opened his eyes again and smiled weakly with a sigh of relief.

Mrs. Cake smiled back and said, “Here, come into the office and sit down, I'll have Pinkie get us some nice tea. Pinkie—peppermint.”

“Yes, Ma'am!” she yelled as Jay winced. “Right away!” She trotted off to the kitchen to prepare the beverage.

“Thank you Mrs. Cake,” Jay sighed, “you are very kind.”

~~~

Mrs. Cake hushed Pinkie as she entered the cramped office with the teapot. “Go fetch the mister, then prepare our surprise,” she instructed. Pinkie nodded and winked as she went off.

“Try this tea Mr. Orange, I think it will help you feel much better.” She poured cups for them both. “I drank this a lot when I was pregnant with the twins, it helped a lot with my, uh, problems.”

Jay wiped his brow with a handkerchief as he took a sip. The hot brew went down easily and the bright refreshing flavor made him feel almost normal. He swallowed a full mouthful and recovered enough to converse. “Thank you Ma'am, you are truly kind. Your husband is so blessed.” Jay smiled charmingly.

Mrs Cake giggled, “Oh, you! And speak of the—”

Mr. Cake squeezed his gangly frame past his wife as he introduced himself, “Carrot Cake, nice to finally meet you Mr. Orange.”

“Pleased to meet you too,” Jay replied as he emptied his cup. “I was just saying how blessed you are to have such a wonderful wife.”

“Yes, I am. Thank you, Mr. Orange.” Mr. Cake hugged his blushing wife.

“Please, call me Jay.”

“Okay Jay, so what do you have to show us today?”

“I came to tell you about Orange Imports's wonderful line of fresh spices and how we can help make your delicious products even better, at very reasonable prices.”

The Cakes nodded at each other and smiled at the very reasonable prices part.

“Just let me get out some product literature here—”

“Pssst!” With uncharacteristic quiet, Pinkie signaled for her employer's attention. “Now?” she whispered.

Mrs. Cakes waved her off for a second so that she could interrupt the salespony's pitch. “Mister, uh, Jay. We wanted to apologize for yesterday's misunderstanding. Sometimes we aren't that good at scheduling, and well, things got out of control.”

“Oh, that's quite all right Mrs. Cake, I understand completely.” He began to place the literature describing the types and origins of his company's spices on the table for the Cakes to inspect.

“But we do want to apologize,” she continued demurely, “and we wanted to make something special for you to make up for our error.” She waved to Pinkie waiting just outside the doorway, “Go ahead, dearie, bring it in.”

“You are too generous.” Jay smiled nervously, awaiting the 'something' they were going to produce. His hooves shook as he quickly poured another cup of tea to quiet his stomach.

“We made this special, just for you,” Pinkie declared as she trotted in with a round cake frosted with chocolate.

She placed the cake on top of the literature right in front of him. It was no ordinary cake, for beneath the chocolate glaze there were two layers of sponge cake separated with a thick yellow custard that glistened as it oozed out the sides.

“We hope you enjoy our little treat as we talk business,” Mr. Cake said proudly. “Pinkie—plates please?”

She trotted out to get the plates and required utensils while Jay looked at the treat that sat before him. He took another slug of tea and grinned at his hosts. “Why it's lovely.”

The pink mare pranced back into the office balancing the plates, forks and a single knife on the tip of her nose like a trained seal. Mrs. Cake retrieved the items and passed them around before taking the knife and cutting narrow slices from the cake. The pressure of the knife pushed out the yellow filling. Jay felt the nausea rising and tried to wash it down with the remainder of his tea.

One of the slices was placed on the plate in front of him. It slowly toppled over, letting the yellow custard creep out in slow motion, like a thick, shiny wave.

“Enjoy,” exclaimed Mr. Cake as he and the other ponies took up their forks and began to consume the treat.

Jay was less than eager. He steeled himself by taking a breath and holding it, he reached for his fork, then exhaled. Using the side of the fork he cut off a piece of the cake, and brought it towards his mouth. So far, so good.

As he did so, his hosts paused and looked at him, desiring approval of their offering.

Jay grinned queasily and began to open his mouth, but as he did, a piece the cake fell from the fork. It was quickly followed by a viscous glob of custard that landed on the table with a splat.

Jay dropped the fork and scrambled to get to his hooves. He had little time left. He clamber over the pink mare, through the doorway, and into the kitchen. His panicked eyes searched for an escape route—there through the back door and out into the yard!

Safely outside he assumed a position like a donkey about to bray. He breathed rapidly and heavily awaiting the inevitable. He felt his throat tighten and his face swell as if he was being strangled. But there was no blessed relief, only a ghastly gurgling as if he was actually being throttled.

Three faces peered in horror from the door to the kitchen, watching their tortured guest, The faces formed a totem pole of ponies: on the bottom Mrs. Cake, with her husband above her, and improbably high near the top of the door frame was Pinkie Pie.

All three winced in unison as Jay was overcome with yet another spasm.

Pinkie looked down at her employers and said “I told you we should have gone with a nice éclair.”

~~~

The Ponyville trip had become an unmitigated disaster. First there was Rich, then the date, now this. How could he ever face the Cakes again? They were kind and polite and understood he was 'not well' as Mrs. Cake said, but how could he ever go back there? They had kept the brochures and reassured him they would look them over as they helped him wobble out the front door.

He made his unsteady way down the road till he came to the little café where it seemed he had been every day since he arrived. Jay found a table in the shade and unceremoniously plopped himself down without saying a word.

The waiter quickly made his way to the table and asked, “And what may I—” He stopped abruptly. He looked at Jay's bloodshot eyes, drooping jaw, and forlorn look, then made a gesture with his hoof as if he was drinking from a bottle.

Jay gave him a slack jawed nod of acknowledgment.

The waiter nodded and returned a knowing wink. “We'll get you fixed up right away,” he said as he scurried off.

Jay stared blankly at the late morning passersby. Thinking of them as customers brought him no joy. The young fillies out shopping on the beautiful day did not attract his attention. He was empty, beaten, a failure.

The waiter returned with two drinks for him. A large glass of sparkling water and a smaller glass of thick green goo. “First the little one, all at once—hold your nose if you have to. Then start drinking the water, but not so fast, understand?”

Jay reached for the small glass obediently, too defeated to even ask what it contained.

“Good,” the waiter said solemnly. “Keep drinking and I'll bring you all you need. We'll have you back on your hooves in no time.”

Holding his nose and closing his eyes, Jay tossed down the green goo and immediately washed it down with the water so he wouldn't taste anything. He took a deep breath and started nursing the remaining water while he contemplated his sorry state.

This wasn't the way things were supposed to turn out for Jay Orange. He was the maker of the deal, the up-and-coming salespony that all the pretty fillies wanted to be with. Here he was with two blown deals, and a date that he didn't even want to think about. How could this happen?

He finished his water and before he could even signal for the waiter, the efficient server had come and gone with another glass. There's a pony who knows how to do his job, thought Jay. I used to be like that.

Jay sat sipping his water, thinking. How did it go all so wrong?

With Rich the answer was easy—the pony was a greedy ass. He thinks his customers are bumpkins and that he is Celestia's gift to retail. Well I'd like to see him survive in Manehatten or even Fillydelphia, they would eat him alive. He snorted at the idea of the pompous hay bag trying to make it in a real market. The home office would figure out how to get Rich in line and he would at least get some credit for the contract.

And the Cakes, well that was a personal embarrassment and not an entire business disaster. They are nice ponyfolks, they'll buy something just because they feel sorry for me. They would never hold it against me personally, they are too nice for that. Even if they did it wouldn't matter; they are just small potatoes anyway.

His second water was gone and the waiter had magically replaced it with a sweet but light beverage without him noticing. Damn that fellow is earning a tip for himself. He could get rich in the big city with service like that.

But still, there remained last night's date. Well at least only he and Mac knew about that, that is if they could keep Applejack at bay. He sipped his new drink. Its sweetness seemed to brighten the entirety of Ponyville. Slowly the street seemed alive again, the sky bluer, the air sweeter.

But last night still hung heavy on his mind.

Why did it bother him so much, after all it was, sort of fun, wasn't it? It was nice to have an experienced mare who knew what she liked, even if she was... well it was certainly—different.

Things had gotten a little weird hadn't they? No, no, not at all. Between two consenting adult ponies such things... it was just unusual, a little risky—and rather exciting.

So had it really been all that bad? You know what, it wasn't bad at all, I just wasn't prepared—I was caught off guard, that's what happened.

And Lotus is oh so beautiful isn't she? I think that she might be the best thing to have happened on this entire trip.

He put his almost finished drink down on the table with a thunk of conviction, and rapidly counted out bits that would easily cover the tab plus a healthy tip for his waiter. What a stout fellow, he practically saved my life.

Jay stood up, not a new pony, but a pony restored to a former, confident self. He was once again Jay Orange, representative of the famous Orange Imports, a pony who was going to make his mark on Equestria.

Adjusting his bags, Jay smiled as he looked at the active street of Ponyville and purposefully trotted off to the spa.

~~~

“Oh, Mr. Orange! I'm surprised to see you here today,” Aloe declared from behind the counter in the spa's waiting room.

“Good day, Aloe,” he slyly greeted her. “Did you get plenty of rest last night?”

“Why yes, thank you for asking,” she replied very matter of fact. She cleared her throat and asked “And what may I do for you today?”

“I came to see if I could talk to Lotus, is she around?”

“She is with a client right now. May I ask why you need to speak to her?”

“Well, it's my last night here in Ponyville—I'll be heading to Appleloosa in the morning—and I wanted to see if she was free to go out again tonight.” He narrowed his eyes and looked at her suggestively. “And failing that, I was going to see if you were free.”

“Oh, uh, well let me see if I can interrupt her.”

Jay watched as she walked to the back of the office area and opened a door that was connected to another part of the spa. She called sweetly for her sister, first once, then again, and in a few moments Lotus appeared. She glanced at him with an uneasy smile as he gave a little wave, then began a hushed conversation with her sister in a foreign language. Jay was not sure if it was a casual discussion, a negotiation, or a muted argument.

I can't quite place that language—I should have asked where they are from last night, he thought. Maybe it's one of those twin languages I've read about in the newspaper stories—that would explain it.

There was a pause in the conversation and they turned to look at Jay. He grinned back sheepishly. They each raised a hoof to daintily cover their mouths as they twittered. He blushed and their discussion resumed at what seems a more relaxed pace.

In a short while, the mysterious conversation ended. As Lotus went back to her customer, she waved briefly to the topic of the discussion back at the counter.

Aloe resumed her station and spoke to Jay. “Things would not be, uh, right for tonight, for either of us. We are sorry.” She pretended to pout.

“That's too bad.” He pouted back at her. “Are you sure? Really sure?”

“Yes, unfortunately it is not possible.” She continued her pretense and frowned in mock disappointment.

“I see,” he replied curtly.

“But we hope you had a nice stay in Ponyville.” The diminutive pink pony turned her head ever so slightly, squinted her eyes and beamed him a practiced, but unconvincing smile.

“Yes—yes I guess I did.” He paused waiting to see if Aloe had anything else to say, but she just stood there, smiling artificially. “Well, goodbye then,” he sighed in disappointment and began to slowly walk towards the door.

“Goodbye,” she chimed. Before he reached the door she called out, “Oh, Mr. Orange, I almost forgot, could you do us a favor?”

Jay ambled confidently back and put his elbow on the counter. He leaned his head on his hoof and said cockily, “Yeees—what can I do for you?”

“We'd like you to take a message to Mr. Apple.”

“And that message is?”

“Please tell him he is welcome back at the spa anytime, anytime at all. Will you do that for us please?” Aloe coyly batted her long lashes.

Jay's face lit up with a broad smile as he tried to contain his laughter. “Yes, I'll tell him just that,” he chuckled, “but he may not believe it.”

~~~

Jay stood outside the spa in the same place where he and his cousin had been not twelve hours earlier, but his mood was decidedly different. Macintosh you sly devil! he thought. He laughed so heartily that passing ponies looked at him strangely.

He wasn't sure how his cousin would take that message! Tonight they would have to have a long talk about their spa visit—without Applejack around that is. That conversation, assuming he could pry any details out of the terse pony, would be a good end to this less than productive trip. He continued to chuckle at the spa mare's request as he started to make his way back to the farm.

Suddenly, another thought occurred to him.

Why do I have to spend my last night here at the farm talking to Mac? he reasoned. I can surely find a better way to close out this trip. Lotus and Aloe may be a wash, but I can certainly find somepony else.

He stopped in the middle of the road to get his bearings, looking first to the right then the left; which way to the station, which way to the main drag?

I need to go see if that filly with the rose cutie mark is still around. I'll bet she is free tonight, and if not her, well then, maybe she has a sister, or a friend.