Chapters Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #191: "The Return"
To the bearers of the Elements of Harmony,
The reason for my writing you
Has got to be made clear
I’ll say this only once, ponies,
So listen with all ears.
I’ve had a lot of time to think
So I’ve come to decide
Now is the time for my revenge
To take my rule worldwide
Over all Equestria
Virtues will be gone
Everything in my control
Really, won’t that be fun?
Each and every one of you
Living so carefree
Emptiness is what you’ll find
Moping under me
Each night I’ve spent imprisoned here
No one can compensate
Til they have learned just what it’s like
Soon they will share my hate
Know one thing, Elements:
Your efforts this time will not win
Ponyville will burn
So, let me just make one thing clear...
I will return.
Discord
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Winning that race. Getting the girl. Joining the Wonderbolts. You name it. Anything can be accomplished in a dream. Some find inspiration, others courage, yet others fear what lay inside their subconscious. I have seen ponies who were able to completely control their dreams, while some are instead so swept away by the realism that they do not see that what is before them is in fact a figment of their imagination.
Funny thing, the imagination. Whether we are awake or not, it can convince us of things that are not true. Take Scootaloo, for example. She recently had a run-in with some night terrors, and even thought that they were real when she was awake. Well, she was half right. While the olden pony and the headless horse were not in the real world, what she feared certainly was.
Only by confronting your fears can you learn to move past them. If you let them eat away at you, it can drive a pony to insanity. And trust me, none would know that better than I; I have seen many dreams that are not my own.
Sometimes I think being able to see the dreams of others is both a blessing and a curse. I guess you could say I know these ponies better than anyone else, in a way. While I enjoy the happy-go-lucky dreams of adventure and discovery, there are also those that take a completely different turn. No doubt you can imagine what must go through some of their minds.
It’s hard to say if I myself can dream. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I did. Then again, I’m not entirely sure I would want to, given my past. Either way, I will continue to look after this responsibility of mine.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it seems that Rainbow Dash has been plagued by nightmares as of late. Something about... baking.
Dream on, my little ponies.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #200: "One Hell of a Nap"
“Hmm, is it time to get up already?” I say, rubbing my eyes. “Guess I had better get started on today’s-” That’s all I can say. For a moment, I just stand there, dumbfounded. I pinch myself to make sure that I’m not still asleep, but I am fully awake, and fully in shock. As I stand up, I take a look around.
Burnt. Everything is covered in a layer of black soot. Even the windows are coated, except for the ones that have melted. Laying on the ground are what I think are pieces of books. Books... why do I feel like I’m forgetting something?
The smell of ash fills my nose as I make my way down the staircase- or what’s left of it- to the main floor of the building where even more books are scattered about. This must be a library or something. At least, it used to be one.
“Why does it have to be so dark in here? There has to be a way to light this place up a bit,” I say, scratching my head. Light... like Twilight. Twilight... why does that name sound familiar?
Then it hits me. All of it. I lived here in the library with Twilight. One day, I was feeling really tired, more than I had ever been before. I must have fallen asleep, because I don’t remember anything that has happened since then.
I try to find a piece of paper I can salvage, but there are none left un-charred. I run over to the door, but it won’t open. It is only now, standing in front of the door, that I realise that I am much taller than I used to be. I wonder how long I’ve been asleep. Taking a step back, I kick the front door as hard as I can. After a few blows, it breaks off of the rusted hinges and falls to the ground outside.
Once again, I find myself staring blankly at the sight before me. Scorched buildings and blackened soil are all I can see. I fight the urge to vomit and sit down to breathe.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see something that stands out from the rest of my surrounding, something that has not been burnt to a crisp. I run over to it, hoping it will help me to somehow figure out what happened. It’s a sign that says ‘Spike!’ on it. Below it is a small box with a rolled up letter inside. It has Twilight’s seal on it. Tears begin to fall onto the once green ground.
“Celestia, what have I done?”
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Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Pompt #205: "Twilight Sparkle's List of Things To Do for the End of the World"
Re-shelf the books. If the world is coming to an end, this place should at least look presentable.
Get Spike out of bed and tell him of the impending doom.
Watch Spike run to the Carousel Boutique.
Proceed to run around town telling everypony that they are all going to: die/be mutated/have to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with guns, bombs, and weird mechanical bracelets/laugh it off when none of this actually happens.
Spend precious time with friends.
Prepare a survival plan in case the world does end and there are survivors.
Double-check to make sure that you have completed steps 1-6.
Tie up any loose ends.
Reflect on the short time you’ve had on this planet, and consider different scenarios of how your life may have been different.
Party like there’s no tomorrow, because there just might not be.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #221: "Intervention"
“Next time... that’s what I told myself every time it happened. That I wouldn’t have to turn to that anymore. That I would be stronger. Only problem is, I said it every time. It didn’t stop. I don’t remember how it started, or what I was thinking the first time. I imagine there was some huge order to fill and I wasn’t going to be able to get it finished in time, or maybe I was just trying it out for fun. Either way, now I’m stuck in an endless cycle with no end in sight.
I’ve tried to stop, believe me, I’ve tried. I can’t count all the times I’ve attempted to overcome it. Sometimes I would go almost an entire month, sometimes only a few days. One time I tried to quit cold turkey. That was when I hit the lowest point possible, because I hurt one of my best friends. You can still see the mark left on her face.
The next day, my friends all came over to see me. They all came into my room and locked the door. They said that I had a problem, that I needed help. I knew they cared about me and wanted to see me get better, which is why I’m here. I came here to get better. I want to be able to leave here and make my friends proud of me. I want them to forgive me. I want to forgive myself.
My name is Pinkie Pie, and I have an addiction.”
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #224: "Two Sides of the Coin"
Prompt #222: "Soon"
“... know who I am? I was a shoo-in for the next major Disney villain, but I said I wasn’t interested. I came here expecting some recognition! And do I get it? Hardly!”
All the employees in the office to turn away from their work to see what the commotion was about. Apparently, a certain someone was not too happy about how his role was developed. Or rather, how it wasn’t developed. He continued storming through the halls of the building, ranting incoherently as he went along. Finally, he got to the door he wanted and, quite unexpectedly, knocked on it calmly. Almost as if he was afraid of what lie beyond it.
“Come in,” said a voice clearly from inside.
After taking a breathe, he obliged, closing the door behind him. As he got closer to the desk, he noticed that it’s owner was sitting in the accompanying chair, but it was faced away towards the back of the room. He took a seat, albeit uncomfortably. He had yet to get used to this kind of chair.
“I think you know why I’ve come. I think you know how I feel about that premiere. That being said, I’ll get to the point,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Go on,” the voice said, sounding interested.
“Well, I really don’t like how I was portrayed. Frankly, I didn’t get enough screen time and we both know it. What I think we should do now is-”
“I’ll stop you right there. I know what you’re going to say, and I assure you it is being carried out even as we speak. Why do you think the writers were so surprised to see you when you arrived, Sombra? It is because they are hard at work coming up with your revenge. And trust me when I tell you, there is plenty of screen time to be had.”
“R-really? I mean, I’m a little confused. No other major villain has made a comeback, I thought it would be much more difficult to convince you.”
“Well I guess you could say I’m unpredictable.”
“I suppose I could, Ms. Faust,” he said, standing and heading for the door. “Just one question, though... when will all of this happen?”
Turning the chair around and sporting a mischievous grin, she uttered a single word in response.
“Soon.”
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #224: "Two Sides of the Coin"
“Are you okay?” Shining Armor asked. He knew something was the matter, as he had never seen his wife unhappy before.
“Yeah,” she replied, forcing a smile, “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I can tell there’s a problem,” he said, sitting down beside Cadence. “You know you can tell me anything.”
After a brief moment, she sighed. This would be a difficult topic to talk about with Shining Armor, but she thought that he more than anypony deserved to know what was going on.
“So, you know how I can see the love within a pony, and mend broken relationships?” she asked.
“Sure,” he said, nodding, “it’s your special talent.” He wasn’t sure where this was headed.
“Well, that’s not all I can see. Sadness, anger, fear, envy... it’s not just love I see. It’s everything. Every emotion, every desire, every single subconscious thought. My special talent isn’t about love, it’s about the heart. It’s about what one feels inside. Sometimes,” she said, motioning toward her cutie mark, “I think this damn thing doesn’t work at all.”
“So, all this time, you’ve seen all that? Wherever you go?” he asked.
“As if that wasn’t enough, by some twisted joke I end up in a place made entire of crystal. Everything is a reflective surface. I see myself everywhere, and I see what I’m feeling. I’m just not sure...” she paused, letting a tear escape to make a streak down her face. She had been trying to conceal her inner feelings in order to keep her friends and subjects happy, but it had begun to wear on her. “I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up.”
“Cadence... I had no idea this was happening to you,” he said, placing a hoof around her. “Is there anything I can do?”
She smiled, only this time, it came naturally. “This,” she said, wrapping her own hoof over his shoulder.
“I love you, Cadence.”
She looked over at him, still smiling. “I know.”
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #262: "The Last Laugh"
Prompt #240: "Disloyal"
Loyalty. It’s what friends have toward each other. It’s why a soldier feels obliged to serve his or her country. It can make connections, break bonds, test endurance, and even kill you. Some think it to be a good quality to have, while others can’t be bothered. You either have it or you don’t. Most ponies have some degree of loyalty, even thieves.
There are ponies who try to remain loyal their whole lives. Either to their mate, their friends, their god, and their own morals. These are the happy-go-lucky type that are oblivious to how the world really works. They don’t know that in order to get ahead, you’ve got to be willing to do anything and everything. Sometimes that cost can seem a bit high, but it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is being the best. I’ve come to realize that over the years.
I used to think I lived in an idealistic society, where good prevailed and evil was always crushed. I used to think that friendship was magic.
I was naive.
At first, it was just losing my job. I didn’t really care. Not like I wouldn’t be able to find something else. The funny part is, I didn’t even do anything that would justify termination. Apparently, the regional manager called in a favor to get a relative a job. Guess who used to have that job? Yeah, yours truly. Sure, I was upset about that, but there was bound to be somewhere else to turn. Something else I could do.
Nothing. Not even Sugarcube Corner seemed to need any help. They said that with Pinkie there, it was like having 10 workers already. I just couldn’t figure out why any of this was happening, so I asked the smartest person I knew for help. You know things are weird when even Twilight Sparkle can’t find a logical explanation.
Frustrated, I went back to my old workplace. I demanded to speak with the new ‘manager’, but he wasn’t there. So I said I would wait. After some more discussion, I was told that if I did not leave I would be made to leave. This coming from somepony I had worked with for years. Like I was just some punk from the streets. Finally, I left, but I wasn’t through with that place.
As I was flying away, something caught my eye behind the building. It looked oddly familiar, but I couldn’t place why. That is, until I got a closer look. It was unmistakably the royal carriage of one Princess Celestia. It was then that I realized what had been going on. It was her. She was the one behind all of this.
Like I said, naive.
I discarded any respect I had for the concept of ‘loyalty’ that day. Even now, I can’t even begin to imagine why she would do something like this. But if this is what I was going to expect as the Element of Loyalty, if this was the crap I was expected to go through, then I wanted no part of it.
And now that I am out of a job, I’ve got to make money somehow. Seeing as it’s pretty much impossible to get an honest job now, thanks to Celestia, I’ve had to resort to some things I never thought I’d have to do.
Who knows, maybe there are still some out there who will pay a lot of money for information about the ‘Elements of Harmony’. I’m sure the Changelings would be interested in getting some sort of revenge. I think it’s time I paid them a visit.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #262: "The Last Laugh"
“What are you here for?” the pony across the room asked.
The other one looked up, a bit confused.
“Why are you in prison?”
“Oh, that. It’s... kind of a long story, and I don’t have much time to tell it,” she said, looking over at the door to the small cell they had been sharing.
“Why’s that? You on death row or something?” she asked.
In response, the other pony just looked back at her, nodding slightly.
“Geez, I was only kidding...”
“Well as much as I like a good laugh, I won’t be able to soon.”
“So uh... what did you do? I mean, I’ve never heard of anyone being executed around here before,” she said, now leaning forward on the cot.
“I’m a killer. A murderer. At least, that’s what they are calling me, even the ponies who I thought were my friends. I thought they would understand,” she said, nearly crying.
“So you killed a pony, so what? You look like you were sorry for it. I mean, couldn’t they give you a deal? Life without parole? Anything?” she asked.
“No, you don’t understand. It wasn’t just one pony,” she said, looking at the door again, “and I was never sorry about it.” Her face now appeared to be more angry than sad. “When you run out of things to laugh at, you have to find new ways to entertain yourself. Some people take up a new hobby, like a collection or a craft. I took up killing,” she explained, standing up.
“But... why? What made you like taking another life?”
For the first time since they had been in that cell together, for the first time in weeks, she smiled. “Because,” she started, looking at her cellmate, “I couldn’t get enough of it. It was like an addiction. That look in their eyes as the last bit of life drains out of them. That feeling I got when I knew they were gone. That’s why I did it. What better way to remember your friends than to be with them for their last moments.”
“Well damn,” the other said, taking a minute to think about what she had been told.
“What about you? Why is a pony like you in a place like this?”
“Well it’s a long story, but I don’t think you’ve got the time to hear it,” she said with a wink.
“Right,” she said with a laugh, “I forgot.” She looked up at the door, this time keeping her gaze there. A guard was waiting just outside.
“Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie? They’re ready for you now.”
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #340: "Purifying Moonlight"
Prompt #289: "A Pony With No Name"
Amidst a great plain, a single pony stood. He knew not where he came from, nor where he was going. The only thing he knew was that he was completely alone. Alone and wandering. So much time had passed since the last time he had spoken that he didn’t know if he could speak at all. So long had it been since another had called out to him, uttered his name.
He had forgotten his own name. Without use, the one thing he had been most attached to- his name- had faded away with time, along with the very mountains, whose foundations had become mere rubble. In places where there once was flowing water, instead there was only dust. All things that once were had all but vanished, leaving behind only fragments of themselves.
The lone pony looked over the horizon, the bleak and grey world that lay ahead of him. It looked exactly like the land he had already passed by. Scattered ruins and toppled trees, they seemed to be the only things worth noticing. Everything else seemed to blend together in an infinite pool of grey.
Where did the ground end, and where did the sky begin? How did this happen? Who was this nameless pony?
He suddenly stopped walking, and looked over at the remnants of a nearby town. Devoid of life, as every place he had found. Something was different about this place, though. Something was drawing him in, inviting him, calling him forward. As if in a trance, he walked into the ruined city.
He felt strangely at ease, like this place was his home at some point, like he had many friends here, like he had many fond memories of being here... but he could not remember any of them. Try as he did, he couldn’t remember a single thing about himself.
As he looked around, he noticed there were a lot of bones throughout the town. Quite a few of them piled up next to what appeared to be a hospital. The doors were blocked with wooden planks. Whether it was to keep ponies in or keep them out remained a mystery, as did most things.
There was something about the air, something indescribable. It seemed to get harder and harder to breathe every second, and soon he began coughing up blood. He thought this must be what had happened to all the ponies in town, that they had all caught some horrible disease and by simply being in the town he had been infected.
What would happen if the last pony alive died? Would the world cease to exist? Would it start over? Would it fade away?
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #363: "Never Too Late"
I told myself I would never have to do it again, and yet I find that there is no other choice. Time-travelling is the only hope we have left. If this fails, it could mean the extinction of our entire species. I mustn’t fail. I have to succeed. For everyone’s sake.
As I prepare the spell, I am reminded of the only other time I have done this, of how much I obsessed over why I had done it. Unlike back then, there is a point to this trip. Although, the gear I’m wearing certainly won’t look very encouraging to my past-self.
With a flash of light, I enter some sort of slipspace, the same kind that I saw the first time. After a couple of seconds, I appear back in the library. This place had burned down a few months ago in my time zone, so seeing it in one piece again began to bring back all sorts of memories. I had to find myself, to tell myself what would happen very soon, and hopefully, stop it.
“What are you doing here?” I-er, she asks.
“This isn’t like the last time, it’s important,” I say. “You have to seal off Ponyville.” At first, she doesn’t seem to think I am serious. I can tell she’s trying to keep herself from laughing. She soon realises, though, that I’m not here for jokes.
“Why? What happens?” she asks, now looking worried.
“There’s going to be an outbreak,” I explain, “ponies will start to go insane and become extremely violent.”
“Isn’t there any way to stop them? To snap them out of it?”
It is then that she notices the sword I’ve been carrying, and how much it has been used. She appears to be in disbelief. I know I would be... wait...
I try to say something to her, but the air around me begins to flicker, indicating my time here is running out. I have to tell her. Before it’s too late... again.
“Shut down Ponyville, then get word to Celestia! She’ll know what to-” Suddenly, I am sucked back through a temporal vortex. “do.”
I start to feel lightheaded, so I sit down. I look down at my hooves, and they appear almost transparent. I should feel sad, but strangely, I don’t. Instead, I am glad. The plan worked.
Ponyville may have been lost, but Equestria was saved.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #380: "The 4th Law"
Prompt #373: "Lost Reason"
Does that hurt?” said a voice from across the room.
“I tell you, hatchling, pain hasn’t stopped me from carrying on so far, and I won’t be taken down by it,” he said, looking down at the large gash on his side. Taking a closer look at the one addressing him, he squinted. “Lieutenant,” he said, noticing the mark branded on his shoulder, “How old are you?”
“I’m 68 years old, sir,” he responded.
“I was half your age when this war started,” he began, sitting up straight, “where has the time gone...” Shaking his head, he reached over to a nearby table and picked up something small. It showed signs of wear that accumulated over the years, nearly to the point that the lanes engraved into it were no longer visible. It seemed to flicker, though, in the room lit only by a small fire in the corner. Clutching onto the object, he sighed. “Let me ask you something,” he said, looking up from his trinket.
“Of course, Commander, what is it?” asked the younger one.
“Why is it that you fight?”
He thought about this for a moment, and then answered in a tone that almost sounded as if it were recited. “For equality, justice and freedom to our race, sir.”
“Is that what you believe?” This evoked a confused look from the younger. “I ask because I’m not sure myself. Love, revenge, duty... I can’t recall why I decided to do this,” he said.
“So, how exactly did the war start? No dragon I’ve ever met could tell me, but you said you were there?” the other asked.
“Ah, yes. Coincidentally, a few dragons across Equestria all seemed to become violent all about the time they reached a certain age. Those ruling at the time thought that the situation would only get worse as more and more of us became what they called ‘a threat to national security’. All dragons were to be removed from the country,” he explained.
“So what happened then?”
“There was a rebellion, of course. The dragons formed an army to try and force their way in. We’ve been trying ever since to return, but I don’t even know if there will be anything left to go back to after all this time.” He looked down at the chain hanging from his claw, and the locket attached to it. He opened it, but there were no pictures inside. “I think the reason I became a soldier was once kept in here... but sometime over the last 500 years it must have been lost.”
Setting the locket back on the table, he could see the scars that covered the purple scales on his arm. He couldn’t remember how he got most of them, but they were constant reminders.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #417: "Savior"
What do you mean ‘he’s still inside?’” Twilight asked, looking at the barrier that now surrounded the town.
“I’m sorry, Twilight, he didn’t get out,” Scootaloo said, nearly folding on her injured leg.
“Open the force field! There’s still time to get him out!” she yelled, walking towards the wall of energy separating her from her number one assistant.
“Are you crazy? We’d risk letting that... thing out. We were lucky we could get everypony out in time as it is!” said Shining Armor, trying to reason with her.
“Not everypony,” Twilight said, staring down at the damp ground, “Shining Armor, please, just let me back in! I can find him!” Hooves on her brother’s shoulders, she hoped he would give her a chance.
“Twilight, I know he’s your friend and you care about him,” Shining said, trying to comfort her, “but I can’t let you or anyone else back inside, not with that creature and certainly not when there’s about to be an explosion.”
Drawing away from him, Twilight frowned. She slowly walked over to the barrier and placed one hoof on it. With tears in her eyes, she couldn’t bear to watch the timer count down to zero.
--- 10 MINUTES EARLIER ---
“She has to pick now of all times to go there?” Spike though aloud, running through the wet streets of Ponyville.
A few months back, a vicious storm had passed through, and Spike could barely see in front of him, let alone find his way back home. With luck, he stumbled into a hole underneath a tree, only to find that he was not alone. Scootaloo had also take shelter there. She said it was a place she came to think or to be alone. But in a storm like this, she was happy to have some company.
They stayed there for hours, talking about Ponyville, their friends, their parents- anything to help pass the time. They didn’t even notice when the storm calmed and the sun came out.
“Scootaloo!” Spike called out, hoping he came to the right place.
“I’m here!” she yelled back in a strained voice.
“We’ve got to get out of here,” he said as Scootaloo stepped out from under the tree. Her left foreleg had been hurt, and she had a limp. “What happened to you?”
“I tripped on something,” she said, feeling a little embarrassed.
“All right, here-” Spike said, grabbing her bad leg to help her balance, “Now let’s go, we don’t have much time!”
With a nod, they made a break for the edge of town. Past the town square, the shops, the houses, past a falling tree-
“Ah!” Spike said with a yelp as he fell to the ground, pinned down by a heavy branch. He tried pulling at his leg, but it was stuck. He could hear something strange, and saw Scootaloo trying to push the log away. “What are you doing?”
---TIME---
“Are you going to help me or not?” she said, grunting as she pushed on the tree again.
“Scootaloo, there’s no time. Just run, get out of here!”
“I’m not leaving you!” she shouted, continuing her fruitless attempts at freeing the dragon.
“You have to!” he pleaded, trying to get her to leave.
“But-”
“Just run, damnit!”
She stepped away from the log, looking into Spike’s eyes. It took everything she had not to break down right then and there. But she reminded herself that he’s the one who saved her, and it would be foolish and selfish to throw something like that away. With a nod, she turned, and ran for the fields.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #438: "Dark Dealings"
Prompt #421: "Dusk"
It’s finally over. Celestia has been sealed away, somewhere Luna assures us she will never be able to do anything like this again. I only wish she’s right, and that a thousand years from now Celestia won’t be back. Even now, it doesn’t feel real, like I’ll wake up at the end of all this and realise it never happened. But it did. Celestia had to be stopped. Who knows what she would have done if we hadn’t taken action?
Shining Armor was the first to step up. He could tell something was not right with the Princess, and with a small army tried to remove her from power. They failed. This seemed to only feed Celestia’s thirst for blood even more, as she increased labor quotas, knowing all too well that many were not able to reach previous ones.
After my brother was executed for treason, I could no longer sit by and watch as others were being hurt by somepony who used to be so caring. So I approached Celestia and offered my assistance. I knew the only way we were going to have a chance at defeating her would be to get closer, and as her student I thought she would welcome my help. And welcome it she did. I can’t say I’m proud of some of the things she had me do, but it was necessary in order to pass her ‘tests’, to make her think I was truly on her side.
I wasn’t completely cut off from my friends, though. I sent message to Spike whenever I had the chance, at times when Celestia was preoccupied with other matters. It seemed that our communications were going completely unnoticed by her. Until Spike didn’t respond one night. Celestia had him arrested and thrown into the dungeon. He had been seen talking with some other conspirators that day, when some guards stormed in, only sparing a few. Spike was lucky, I guess. If you consider being beaten within half an inch of your life lucky.
Unfortunately for some, we were too late. Fluttershy became a pawn in her game. Celestia threatened to kill her unless she would be her spy. Afraid for her own life, she agreed. We later found out that she was the one responsible for the ambush at the gathering location. For this reason, she was sentenced to life in prison. A week later, they found her hanging in her cell. Another victim.
Luna has stepped up as ruler of Equestria, trying to keep the nation together after what Celestia had done to it. It won’t be easy, but then, is it ever easy to run a country? I’ve offered to help her for awhile, at least until she gets the hang of it. As younger sister, she never really had too much experience with being a Princess. Well, that and being banished to the moon didn’t do her any favors.
So here we are, the last of the Elements of Harmony. There are only three of us now. Honesty, Generosity, and Magic. And Spike.
It’s been a long day. And after any long day...
We’re glad to see the sunset.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #438: "Dark Dealings"
A concrete room. Grey and dull. There is a small window near the ceiling, but it has been barred. A sink in the corner that drips every few seconds to its own rhythm, and as the only sound in the room, it is both comforting and disturbing. It is disturbing because if you hear another sound, it probably means someone is coming to ‘check’ on you. And that generally involves more than taking a look into the room.
A single pony sits in a chair in the middle of the room, hooves tied behind the back. Their face showed signs that they must have been here for a while. Bruises all over, and a dried pool of blood on the floor. They have had little to no sleep, having been in that position for possibly days on end. Sure enough, a sound comes echoing through the hallway. Like a scratching noise, getting closer, louder, then stopping. The rusty metal door creaks open, and a griffon walks in.
“Gilda, always a pleasu-” the pony said, before being knocked to the ground, chair and all.
“How about we skip the small talk. I think this will be much easier for the both of us,” Gilda said, placing a talon on the side of her captive’s face.
“Straight to the point, as usual. I told you, I don’t know what happened to the other half. What I gave you is all I got from my supplier,” he explained, straining to speak due to exhaustion and the fact that there was a griffon practically standing on his face.
“You know, Harry, I’d like to believe you. I really would. But see, I’ve already met with your supplier.” The pony’s eyes went wide at this. “And do you know what he told me?” she said, moving her foot and kneeling down, making sure there was eye contact, “he said he gave you the full 60 kilos. Of course, that was only after I had... coerced him into talking,” she said with a mischievous grin.
“Well, obviously, one of us is lying. It’s gotta be him. He’s a really messed up-” A kick in the stomach changed his words into a fit of coughing.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this business,” she said, setting the chair upright, bringing his ear right next to her mouth, “it’s always the middle-pony. The one’s who make the product are too scared to do anything stupid, and the other lords know each other well enough not to cause trouble.”
“So, what, you wanna know where it is, is that it?” he asked, still finding it hard to breathe. “Then will you let me go?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“All right. It’s at the abandoned warehouse on 4th. Second floor in one of the offices.”
With that, Gilda turned and headed out of the room.
“Don’t go anywhere,” she said, closing the door behind her.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #450: "TwiLight"
Corruption. Crime. Murder. Lies. Injustice.
Every day, at least one of those words appears in the papers. And I have to say, they’re not wrong. I’ve seen it myself. Those in power favoring the easy over the right. And in this society built on bigotry, those who live in it begin to conform, to accept, to make it a part of themselves. At least, most of them. There are a few who see the true nature of this world, who seek to change it for the better. Sadly, however, they have no real power to back their words with. But in order to get this authority, one must immerse themselves into the very world they despise.
But it wasn’t enough.
I had a great opportunity presented to me, but I needed more than petty diplomatic power if I was to make any real change. In order to do that, I needed something anonymous, something that would allow me to express my disgust with the way things are run without jeopardizing my public appearance. I could, in essence, have it both ways. And that’s when I found it.
I can still remember when it happened. I had been studying the newest edition of the Equestrian Encyclopaedia, when I caught something in the corner of my eye falling to the ground. It looked like a book. I thought maybe Spike had thrown it off of the roof for some reason, but he was inside. Curious, I ventured out to take a look. Lifting it up, it was a fairly simple, with a black leather cover with white font on it. After reading the title, I nearly dropped it back to the ground.
I brought it inside, though I didn’t tell Spike about it. I wasn’t sure if this was some sort of prank, maybe one of Pinkie’s. Maybe it was real. I had no way of knowing, and that drove me crazy. I must have read the enclosed rules a dozen times, but I was nowhere closer to figuring out its authenticity. And then it hit me. I could take it with me on my next trip to one of the larger cities. All I would have to do is look on the front page when I got there, and I could test it.
A few weeks later, I got my chance. I arrived in Manehattan, and promptly made my way to the nearest news stall. Sure enough, there was the picture of a pony who was currently on trial for killing a couple of hikers. I made sure I wasn’t followed and waited outside the courthouse, in an alley across the street. About what I thought was an hour into the trial, I thought of his face, wrote his name down, closed the book and waited some more.
This was it. In just a moment, I will find out if this ‘Death Note’ actually does what it proclaims to do. After 2 minutes had gone by, I had all but given up and was about to fly away. But then I heard something. It sounded like… sirens! It worked!
I was glad that it worked, but at the same time I couldn’t shake the feeling of having just killed somepony. As the sirens got closer, I started running down the alley. As soon as I was out in the open, I took off, having gotten much more comfortable with flying. When I was a few blocks away, I landed in a park to catch my breath, coming down next to a fountain.
I saw my reflection in the gently rippling water and thought: ‘I can do this.’
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #187: "Tragedy over Breakfast"
“Sweetie Belle, it’s time to get up,” I call out up the stairs. As she steps out of her room, she looks down at me, still half-asleep. “Breakfast is ready,” I say, and almost immediately she perks up, running down to the main floor of my home, almost knocking me over in the process. I just roll my eyes and walk back into the kitchen where our food is waiting for us.
“Rarity, why do I have to get up early on Saturday?” she asks between mouthfuls.
Clearing my throat like I’ve practiced this a dozen times, which I probably have, I explain that if she were to sleep in on the weekends, it would only make it harder to get up early the next week for school. One day she will understand this... hopefully.
Once we’ve finished eating, Sweetie Belle began cleaning up. She’s actually gotten quite good at it, never even breaking dishes anymore. As I make my way for the porch, I hear a crashing noise come from the kitchen. Well, almost never.
Opening the front door, I take a look outside. It’s another absolutely beautiful day in Ponyville, without a cloud in the sky. Collecting the mail, I sift through it on the way to the house. As I close the door behind me, I find one letter that stands out from the rest of the mail. It’s a letter from our mother.
‘That’s odd...’ I think to myself, ‘they don’t usually correspond while on vacation.’ I open it and begin to read.
Dear Rarity,
I’m afraid there’s been an accident.
My heart sinks, as do I onto the floor, as I continue to read the letter. I can see what looks to have been dried tears on the piece of paper.
Your father and I arrived at the cabin, got unpacked, and were starting to prepare dinner, when he decided to build a fire in the stove. We also needed ice, so I went to the office, which was nearly a mile away, to get some. And by the time I got back... the whole cabin had caught on fire. I tried to get in, but the only entrance was blocked by debris. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person, the train only makes the trip up here once a week.
Rarity, your father didn’t make it out.
By this point I couldn’t tell the difference between my tears and the dried ones. Sweetie Belle must have overheard me, and came running in.
“Rarity, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she asks, concerned.
“Sweetie Belle, we need to have a talk.” I say, getting up onto my hooves. We head into the kitchen once more and sit down.
We just sat there for a moment, me quietly sobbing, Sweetie Belle wondering why. I look into her eyes and I’m only able to utter two words.
“It’s dad...”
It takes her a second to realise what I mean by that, but as soon as she does, I can tell. I walk over to the other side of the table, scooping her up into my hooves, trying to comfort her.
I wish I could tell her it would be all right. That it would get better. But the only problem is, I don’t know if it will be all right, or if it will get better. So how can I tell her that?
“Rarity?” she asks through broken sobs.
“Yes, Sweetie Belle?” I say, running a hoof along her mane.
“I don’t know what to do!” she cries, clenching onto me.
“Neither do I, but I’ll tell you what,” I pause to pull her away far enough so that we can see each others eyes, “We’re going to get through this, okay?” She nods. “Okay,” I manage to say, in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
We must get through this. We must .
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #188: "Special Delivery"
Dear Princess Luna,
First of all, let me tell you how happy everypony here at the postal building is that you are back and well. But unfortunately, there is the small matter of some uncollected mail waiting here for you, so if you could come and get it sometime soon that would be great.
We’ve taken the liberty of tossing out the junk mail as it comes in, but there’s been so much mail for you over the last millenium that we’ve had to build on an additional room just to hold it all. At this point, you have about... 1,137,574 letters here. Now, that may seem like a large number, but not to worry! If you like, you can take those in increments. We’ve actually had a pool going here for some time, wondering how long it would take to read all of those letters. You’ll have to let us know how it goes. (By the way, if you could try to read them in 2,400 to 2,600 hours that would be appreciated.)
Anywho, its no rush, really. And when you’re ready to come in, theres also one more thing to discuss... that being fees incurred for holding your mail here for so long. Now, I know what you must be thinking. That there will be some outrageous price for keeping over one million letters for a thousand years. Well, since you are royalty and all, we’ve reduced the amount by 80%, leaving the total fees outstanding at a mere 3,000,000B. But, not to worry! If you like, you can make the payments in increments.
Again, welcome back and we hope to be hearing from you soon!
Sincerely,
Ponyville Postal Depot
P.S. Derpy says ‘Hi’.
P.P.S. Seriously, anywhere between 438 and 474 letters an hour.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #193: "Darkness Inside"
Celestia,
I know it’s been awhile since my last letter, but I had to make sure that it would remain undetected. I can’t stress enough how important it is for Luna to remain in the dark on this, and she’s been regaining her power exponentially over the last year. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to worry she may know of my existence.
In that light, I feel that we should accelerate our plans. The sooner I can get out of this mental prison, the better. Honestly, I prefered being alone on the moon. At least then I had the stars to keep me company. In here I am truly alone. I just hope that you haven’t given up on me and stopped checking the spot where I used to leave messages. At any rate, I wish this gets to you soon.
I must say, though, that you did an excellent job of giving yourself deniability. Telling Twilight that I was an old pony’s tale? Genius. And then coming up with some story about wanting her to make friends and defeat me? And don’t get me started on how you escaped Ponyville town hall under everypony’s noses. I still can’t figure out how you managed to pull that one off.
I was afraid that the changeling queen would take our land away from us, but those fillies made themselves useful and ousted her and her swarm. Perhaps we could use them.
I have to go now, sister, as my other half is starting to wake. I will return to a dormant state again, but I will be watching. Waiting for my signal. For my time to escape this empty cell. And when this is over, I think we should come up with something a bit more... permanent than banishing Luna to the moon. We wouldn’t want to risk her coming back like I did.
Your sister,
Nightmare Moon
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #199: "Because no one else would"
A stallion steps in front of a camera and makes a few adjustments to it, then begins speaking.
All right, here goes. I will send this video along to the proper authorities. I’m not really sure why I’m recording this, but what the hay. My name is not important, my past irrelevant. What matters is what I am about to do, and why.
Ever since the changeling incident, things have not been the same. Ponies who never felt threatened a day in their lives put locks on their doors, while others moved away. Everyone who tells you they weren’t affected by it is lying, and when it comes to matters of national security, I don’t think they should have to hide their feelings about it.
Let’s take a look back at some of Equestria’s enemies, shall we?
First, there was Discord. He was sealed away. Twice. That’s just the thing, he came back. How do you know he won’t do it again? What measures have been taken to prevent him from returning again?
Then there was Nightmare Moon. Believe me, I say this with the utmost respect for you and your sister, but I still can’t trust her. Not after what she’s done. Twice.
Can you see the pattern forming here? All who have tried to destroy or take over our land have tried to do so, not just once, but twice. I’ve always thought of myself as a patriot, but if this is what I can expect from the place I call home, then that view could be seriously skewed.
This all comes up to the next attack on our fair country, the changeling invasion. While they were no doubt quickly ousted from Canterlot, there was no foul consequence to them. No repercussion, no punishment, nothing. And if history repeats itself, which it usually does, they are going to come back and try again. That’s why I’ve decided that I simply will not allow it.
I found out where the changelings have been gathering, and I am going there today. I’ve done my research. If I have done this right, if everything goes how I think it will, then the changelings won’t be a problem anymore. I’m sure with your political contacts and such that you will have heard about the explosion, about the attack on the changeling army.
I only do this because the one we call ‘Princess’ has not heard the voice of the ones calling for war. Instead, she hopes that the problems will simply disappear. I’m sorry if saying these things shock you, Princess Celestia, but I cannot keep my thoughts to myself any longer.
Because no one else would, I will.
The stallion reaches forward and the recording stops.
View Online
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #211: "Of Donuts and Broken Fire Rubies"
Spike slumped onto a stool, dripping wet from the rain, and sighed. He didn’t usually come to a place like this, but he didn’t know where else to go.
“Why the long face, friend?” asked the pony behind the counter. Spike just looked up at him. “Oh, right. I see so many ponies come through here I just got into the habit of saying that. Don’t see many dragons, though. Anyway, what can I get ya?”
“Something strong, Joe... double glazed,” Spike said, sighing again.
“Woah now, you sure?” he asked, setting down the glass he had been polishing. He smirked. He had seen the same look many times before. Grabbing a nearby box of donuts, he set it in front of the dragon. “Knock yourself out,” he said, though Spike needed no encouragement and had already started devouring the first one.
“You know what?” Spike said as he finished the second pastry, “Love is overrated. I don’t know why I even bothered.” He paused for a second, then picked up another donut.
“Trouble at home?” Joe asked, cleaning another glass.
“That pretty much sums it up, yeah,” he said, putting something up on the counter. It looked like it had once been a red, heart-shaped gem, but was now in three pieces.
“Is that a ruby?” Joe asked. “I thought those things were unbreakable.”
“Heh, unbreakable?” he said, clenching a fist. “Nothing is unbreakable.” Spike’s voice was no longer somber and depressed, but cold and bitter. “You know, I found her with... someone else. Let’s just say I’ll never look at a book the same way again. I lost two of the most important ponies in my life tonight. Nothing is unbreakable.” He stood up, tossed a bag of coins onto the counter, and began to walk out.
“Hey, you forgot your ruby!” Joe called out.
“I don’t need that, just throw it in the trash.” And with that, he walked back out into the rain.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #221: "Intervention"
Prompt #213: "Little Did He Know"
Determination. If there was one word to describe what Spike was feeling, that would be it. This would be the night. He was finally going to tell Rarity how he really felt, that he loved her. The anticipation was killing him. How would she react? How would he react? He just didn’t know. But then again, not knowing is half the fun.
He had planned everything out. The invitation was actually a sapphire with writing etched into it. Pretty clever, he thought. They would go out to dinner where there is ‘conveniently’ a ballroom, and Spike would tell Rarity that he had actually been practicing. Then they would hit the floor shortly after eating, dancing until the band goes home. Of course, that was how it was supposed to go.
Spike told Twilight he was going out, that he had some errands to do around town. Twilight just mumbled something, not looking away from her book. Spike shrugged it off as Twilight being Twilight.
When he got to Rarity’s shop, he was surprised to find that she was not home. Confused, he left the invitation in the mail box. As he made his way back to the library, he tried to think of where she might be, but nothing came to mind. He kicked at the ground, frustrated that his perfect night was falling apart. Little did he know, it was just getting started.
As he got closer to the library, he looked in the window. He didn’t know why, he had never done it before, but for some reason he did it anyway. He noticed that Twilight wasn’t at her desk. Strange, as she seemed to be so enthralled in that book of hers that she hardly noticed when Spike left. Then he noticed something else. There was movement coming from the loft. It was dark, but he could barely make out what was going on. And what was going on was, quite frankly, more than making out.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #263: "Immortal"
The gift of immortality. That’s what they said this was, all that time ago. I’ve lost count of how many years have gone by since it happened. It just never felt right to be this way. I wish I could go back and tell myself not to cast that spell, but the last time I had anything to do with time travel I made a promise to myself that I would never do it again.
I can still remember that day so clearly, how the entire town had been in a state of chaos that was almost up to Discord standards. All I did was scramble up five cutie marks, and look what the result was. When I fixed it, I thought everything would go back to normal, like it should be. Why did I have to become an alicorn? I had been perfectly happy for the rest of my life until then as a simple unicorn, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for somepony.
Some gift this is. I’ve lost count of how many times I wished I could have stayed as I was. As a pony , not a Princess . I mean, I don’t mind the duties, but I don’t ever get any time to be with my friends anymore. Or to read a book, like ‘The Art of the To-Do List’.
I feel like I should have said something, that I didn’t want this. But I didn’t want to disappoint Celestia, either. I thought if I refused the gift she had given me, that she would hate me or send me back to magic kindergarten. Or worse, to the moon.
The gift of immortality. The gift of living forever. The gift of perfect health. The gift of seeing your friends die. Everyone in Ponyville is long gone. I’ve lost count of how many generations there have been. I’ve lost count of how many times I wished I could have died along with them, hundreds of years ago. At least then I wouldn’t have to live without them for all of eternity. So instead of being able to die happy, I am forced to live in grief.
This is the gift of immortality. It’s not fun. It’s not glamorous. It’s not worth it. It comes at too high a cost. It’s a curse.
Yes, that sounds right. A curse. One that not even Zecora could break, if she were here.
I’ve lost count of how many of my friends have died while I remain unchanged. I don’t even have the time to visit their tombs.
Friendship is Magic, but if this pain is the cost of my immortality, then maybe I shouldn’t have any friends at all.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #289: "A Pony With No Name"
Prompt #274: "Mercy"
The cupboard door swung open with a creak, and two yellow hooves reached in. It was a small, simple crate. No markings of any kind were found on it, and it was sealed with a padlock. a key found its way in and unlatched it. The lock fell to the counter and the lid popped open. Slowly, the pegasus opened it fully, and pulled out a syringe.
Fluttershy really hated that box. Every time she would look inside, it would remind her of all the times she had used it before. And every time it got harder and harder to do. While it’s true, she has great skill in caring for an injured animal, her capabilities only go so far. There are some that she cannot save, some that cannot be helped. In those cases, she can only do what she can to make sure that there is as little suffering as possible.
She had been walking through a wooded area nearby her house, when she heard something. It sounded like one of her animals was in trouble and was calling out for help. Rushing over to see what had happened, she found a raccoon that had been caught in a snare. But this wasn’t just a snare that held its catch in place. Small spikes punctured the creature’s leg, leaving red trails running to the ground. By the time Fluttershy had gotten there, it appeared as if he had been there all night, as some of the blood had begun to dry.
She got a second item out of the box, a small bottle. Removing the cover, she put the tip of the syringe in and filled it about half way. Walking over to the table, she stood over a bowl of salad. She knew she had to do it, that there was no other way. She knew he would be better off, but still, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
She managed to remove the trap, but she could not fully stop the bleeding. The nature of the injury was out of her league, and she dreaded that which she knew would have to happen. She was going to have to perform euthanasia once more.
She dried her eyes again, losing track of how many times she had done that today. She emptied the contents of the syringe over the dish of vegetables in front of her. Picking it up, she walked into the living room where the animal had been resting. She placed it in front of him and smiled.
As he began to eat, however, that smile faded into a frown. It was only a matter of time now.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #350: "In Your Heart"
Prompt #340: "Purifying Moonlight"
Two sisters sat across from each other, silently. They were running out of options, and the residents of the land were growing tired of empty promises and conflicting decisions. Both of them knew what had to be done, but neither one wanting to say it. Finally, one of them broke the pause.
“What choice have we? If we do nothing there will be riots!”
“They are already rioting, sister. They need resolution and clear leadership, two things we have failed to give them.”
“If they have one pony to look to for guidance instead of two, then there may be peace here.”
“What are you saying? You would have one of us abdicate?”
“Yes, if it is required, I would be willing to do so.”
“But, wouldn’t that just cause more confusion? Equestrians would only become more confused at such a course of action.”
“Unless... there was just cause behind the removal.”
“But for that to happen, you’d have to-”
“That’s correct. I will stage a coup, fail, and subsequently be removed from power.”
“But that’s insane! You would be at the scorn of millions. I doubt even the royal guard would remain loyal to you.”
“Then so be it. Instead of simply dismissing my authority, send me away. Banish me somewhere nopony would dare tread.”
“If we do this, you would be a martyr, though none but us two would ever know it. They will never fully forgive you. Are you sure you wish to do this?”
“Yes. If you approve, we can begin tomorrow. We both know you would be the more suitable leader for them.”
“Then we had better get started.”
Two sisters sat across from one another, silently. Both of them dreading what tomorrow would bring, neither of them sure if they were ready for it.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #363: "Never Too Late"
Prompt #350: "In Your Heart"
((A/N: This prompt was in the form of a song, so I ended up writing lyrics to go along with the music here.))
Youtube Video
Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were running some errands in town while the Cutie Mark Crusaders were off crusading, but were surprised to see the three fillies moping in the town square. Concerned, they walked up to the trio to see what was bothering them.
“It’s no use,” Sweetie Belle said as they apporached, “we’ll never get our cutie marks.”
“We’ve tried everything, and we still haven’t found what we’re good at,” said Applebloom.
“We should at least have gotten a cutie mark in looking for a cutie mark by now,” Scootaloo said, kicking at the ground.
The three mares looked at each other, and set out to give the young ones some encouragement. To tell them that it didn’t matter if they had found their special talent yet or not, that there was something more valuable than knowing what it is you were meant to do. And what better way to do that then through song.
First came Rarity:
“You may not think that you’re as special
As other ponies who have cutie marks
But what you always must remember
You are still you in your heart”
As she finished, she pointed at her sisters heart, giving her a smile.
Next was Applejack:
“Some folks they might say you’re not special
Just ‘cause you don’t have your own cutie mark
They just can’t see what’s right inside you
Greatness is there in your heart”
She placed her hat on Applebloom’s head. Within seconds, it had fallen over her eyes.
And of course, Rainbow Dash:
“If you’ve had it rough
Think you’ve had enough
You’ve always got a friend
I will be around
When you’re feeling down
I’ll be there right to the end”
Wrapping one wing around the flightless pegasus, she held her in a tight embrace. But she still had more to say, so:
“So you see, you three, we all care for you
And when you’re sad, we’ll be by your side
But when you’re happy, we’ll be happy too
Because we’re your friends at heart”
Finally, the three of them joined their voices together for one last verse:
“So you are all still just as special
As other ponies who have cutie marks
And we’ll be here for you forever
We’ll always be in your heart”
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #373: "Lost Reason"
Prompt #372: "Failure"
As Twilight walked up to the desk where Celestia was working with some papers, she cleared her throat, both to prepare herself and to let her teacher know she was there.
Without even looking up, Celestia spoke. “Do you need something?”
“Well, I... there was a... slight problem with the ceremony earlier,” Twilight said cautiously.
“Oh? And what happened?” Celestia asked, sounding very distant.
“The chairpony, she was late, and all in attendance were getting restless. So I-”
“You gave the speech yourself. Of course you did,” Celestia said, cutting off her student.
“Yes, I’m sorry. Was that wrong?”
“No, not at all. In fact, it is I who should be the one apologizing,” she said, looking up from her desk for the first time since Twilight walked in. “I shouldn’t have sent you to that event in the first place.” Her eyes glared directly at Twilight for a moment, then returned to the documents in front of her.
“But... I don’t understand,” Said Twilight, quizzically.
“You’re not ready for this sort of assignment, not after what happened last month. I don’t know what I was thinking, letting you organize that committee meeting by yourself. And to think I was foalish enough to make that mistake again,” she said, writing on a form.
“Not ready? Princess, how many times have I shown that I am more capable than I look? Even on that first day we met, when you became my tutor and friend, I-”
“Friend?” Celestia said, slamming the pen down. “We were never friends.” With a scowl, she continued writing. The pen was pressed down so hard, she was practically tearing through the paper.
Twilight just stood there, in disbelief at what she just heard. With a flash of her horn, she teleported back to the library.
Thirty Minute Ponies Collection
Prompt #380: "The 4th Law"
Citizens of Equestria,
We have become aware of an increasing number of fourth-wall incidents, hereafter referred to as BT4 and can no longer allow them to proceed without consequence. As you know, BT4 can have devastating effects on not only the one(s) involved, but on the universe itself. It is for this reason that it shall be deemed illegal to participate in such activities.
These practices include, but are not limited to:
Identifying yourself as a fictional character
Looking at nothing in particular and addressing an unknown entity
Defying the laws of physics
Any use of the term ‘Brony’
Any reports of these or other instances of BT4 will be met with swift prosecution to the full extent of the law. Furthermore, it is the responsibility of all citizens to report these cases, as failure to do so may result in your being charged with aiding and abetting. Rest assured that all reports will be held in the utmost confidentiality.
In coherence with this guidelines, we feel confident that the combined effort of everypony will keep us safe from pop-culture references, confusion, and rifts in the space-time continuum.
Thank you for your co-operation,
The National Institute for Keeping Equestria Safe