Two Meatbags And A Robot In Equestriaby BendyChaptersGroundedPonies Two Meatbags And A Robot In PonyvilleTake Me To Your LeaderBeer Beer Drinking RobotMadnessSpace Pirates PonyvilleGroundedFry, Leela and Bender were now lost on a strange primitive planet in the middle of a forest on some god forsaken sector within the universe. And Bender was unconscious on the ground with a boot mark on his face just outside the crash site of the Planet Express Ship. Leela meanwhile made her way back up the steps of the ship after kicking Bender in the face. "I love my brick!" shouted Bender in his sleep. In the cockpit crippled Fry was muttering to himself and groaning in pain. "Uhhhh! This sucks, I can't move and Leela's probably gonna have to baby feed me!" Back outside Leela was carrying a bag of cement powder down the ships steps, that she left next to the boulder the ship hit into. "Alright, I can use Bender's bricks to make a wall to help protect us from potentially dangerous animals, in addition to the weapons we have and the ship's laser turret. We'll have to take turns using the turret while we sleep. We also have enough beer to last Bender a few days, or minutes if he doesn't drink them sparingly, and we have enough food and water to last me and Fry for about a week." she thought. And so Leela started mixing the cement with the ship's toilet water using a wooden bucket, and then begun building a wall near the steps of the ship. Hours later late at night Leela had started a campfire just outside the ship and had already built the wall only leaving a narrow gap for them to walk in and out from in front of the steps. There wasn't any instances to interrupt her while she built the wall, however when she was just about finished late at night a bear approached curiously. Leela fired a warning shot of a thick red laser beam from the device on her wrist setting the ground on fire right in front of the bear's paws. The bear leaped backwards away in fear from where the laser hit the ground, whom took hint that she did not want him anywhere near her. The bear submissively walked slowly away with it's body down low and it's paws in the air as if it was saying "I surrender! Don't shoot." Over in a bush two Timberwolves watched the fire on the ground where the laser hit. Both of them exchanged nervous looks then ran away. Perhaps their bodies being made out from wood and the fact that strange creature was able to blast fire out from that thing on it's wrist scared them. Inside the cockpit Fry was now asleep snoring loudly in the chair. Outside Leela was sat on the ship's steps eating a red apple. "I wonder if they are already replacing us?" *** In what would appear to be a lounge a red humanoid lobster alien, that wore doctor's clothes sat in the middle of a yellow couch watching the news, which was being presented by a green big headed alien named Morbo and a blonde Human female called Linda. "Thankfully, the amazing talking Pony was rescued and safely returned to the meat department." said Morbo as a picture was shown of a brown, ordinary Pony. However the Pony looked distressed and looked like it was in a great deal of pain while it was in a forest, for it's right front hoof was caught in a bear trap. Zoidberg gasped in horror, then changed the channel with the remote to show the opening of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. "I do love these classic shows from the Stupid Ages." he suddenly started to wail loudly in his grief while covering his face with his claws. "Why can't I live in Equestria?!" he shouted. "If I did, then I could have friends." A very, very old bald headed man with very thick glasses, whom also wore a lab coat, lime green pants and light blue slippers walked into the room. "Why are you crying Zoidberg?" "Because I want to live in Equestria!" "Oh boohoo! Don't be such a crybaby." He sat down on the couch next to Zoidberg. "Are they back yet Professor?" "No Zoidberg, I think they are dead. So we'll need to replace them." "Oh." *** Back at the Planet Express Ship's crash site, Bender was now stirring, followed shortly by his eyes opening. "Uhhh! Did you have to kick me Leela?" he said as he groaned in pain while he rubbed his face. "Sorry, I was just a little angry that..." she now started shouting "YOU TOOK ALL THE PARACHUTES LEAVING US TO DIE!" "But you didn't die." he said as he stood up to lean against the boulder. "But we should have died Bender, I don't think there's any possible way we could have survived from a fall that high." "How did we get here anyway?" "I don't know Bender. All I remember is a flash and then us crash landing. It's like as if someone teleported us here." "Yeah, we were entering the Milky Way Galaxy and then suddenly we ended up here." "You know Bender, it kinda like as if an invisible vortex randomly opened next to us and sucked us into it. I mean how stupid is that?" "I dunno Leela, we went on a lot of crazy adventures before. Like that time we went back in time to Roswell, where Fry killed his own grandpa by accident, then accidentally had sex with his own grandma and became his own grandpa and-- "Let's not talk about that!" "The point I'm trying to make is last year we were jumping in and out of boxes that contained entire universes, so I'm willing to believe anything at this point." "Hmm, good point. But would you believe the moon is made out of cheese?" "In a bizarre parallel universe somewhere in the Multiverse, yes I would believe the moon is made out of cheese." "So anything is possible?" "Yes anything. Like in one parallel universe I am a toast and sandwich maker with attitude, and in another I am a magical and all powerful evil unicorn with horns, that can fire laser beams from his eyes and has enslaved an entire world of sapient Ponies and forces them to slave work to their deaths to make statues of me everywhere." "Both of those sound like stupid universes to me." "Yeah, this conversation is getting too stupid and nerdy for my liking." he takes a brown bottle of beer out from his chest cabinet. "I'm gonna go exploring a little." "OK, be careful." Leela went up the ship's stairs, then pressed a red button on the wall, which drew the stairs back up in order to stop anything from going up them to eat them. Bender started gulping down his beer as he walked through the small gap in the wall. "If Bender was a giant. Would that mean he would crap giant bricks to throw at buildings to smash them? Hah, he could also make very big walls out from his bricks." *** Onward Bender went leaving the crash site to explore the forest thinking aloud. "When are we gonan get that ship fixed! " he threw his bottle of beer over his shoulder smashing it. "I want Internet to watch porn! I know I have one terabyte of porno stored in my memory, but that will only last me a couple of days, after that I'll get bored with the porn I have. So what am I supposed to have sex with here, huh? Some sapient native alien? I could have sex with Leela. Though, I don't think Fry would like that very much, nor do I think Leela likes me very much. Oh, this planet sucks!" Suddenly a Timberwolf jumps on Bender knocking him over, but unfortunately for the wolf Bender had soon burped a large column of flame setting alight the Timberwolf's wooden body. The Timberwolf cried in agony while it ran away. "Burn bitch!" Bender stood up to see he was surrounded by Timberwolves. "Bring it on!" he shouted as he pulled a chain saw out from his chest cabinet, which he then proceeded to pull the starter rope to turn it on with a roar. The Timberwolves charged at Bender... to have their heads, legs, or bodies sliced in half to spread bits of wood, sawdust and splinters everywhere as Bender slashed his chain saw wildly about cutting the Timberwolves's wooden bodies with ease. It wasn't long till the few remaining six Timberwolves began to hesitate approaching Bender after seeing him slaughter about a dozen of their fellow pack members. "Do you want more?!" he shouted as he charged at the Timberwolves swinging his chain saw wildly. The Timberwolves ran away crying in fear. "Hah!" He turned off his chain saw and placed it back inside his chest cabinet. *** Back on board the ship Leela was sleeping in her cabin in bed with Fry also fast asleep next to her. *** Bender had now reached the forest's edge to look upon Ponyville. "Hmm, I think I might need to make some room." Bender opened his chest cabinet and started dumping piles of porno magazines on the ground as well as taking out the cloned head of Adolf Hitler in a jar, which he threw over his shoulder smashing it against a tree. "Ich dachte, wir wären Freunde!" shouted Adolf Hitler in German. "Du waren nicht viel helfen, um alle Menschen zu töten!" Bender said also in German while angrily pointing his finger at him with his eyes narrowed. Shortly after Bender left a Timberwolf came by to bite Hitler, whom dragged him away carrying him deep into the forest to eat somewhere safer. So Bender sneaked around the town avoiding a few strange, colorful, pastel, talking Ponies walking around? Funny these "Ponies" seemed to leave their doors unlocked, but unfortunately for Bender as he sneaked into house after house he found nothing of real value. At one point he went into a tree house, but all he found in there was lots of boring books. There wasn't even any porno magazines or just even erotic novels. But then again, Bender thought would he even want porno magazines and erotic novels made from these Ponies? So just when Bender was about to leave this disappointing town with little valuable loot, he decided to check one last house. When Bender opened the door he gasped in joy as he saw gems in... Rarity's house. "Holy brick! I've hit the jackpot." Bender took a sack out from his chest cabinet and started taking everything of value. He carelessly tore off all the gems from the dresses and looted all the chests filled with gems stuffing the sack with it all. He filled his sack with so much gems they started to fall out from it, so he decided to just stuff the rest into his chest cabinet. He also took lots of fancy wine bottles that he found in a press in the kitchen. However when he was just done with taking all the wine out from the press Rarity's cat Opalescence hissed at him from behind. "Ooh a cat!" he extended his arm grabbing Opalescence by the neck making her scream, then he threw her into his chest cabinet. Opalescence could be heard growling inside Bender's chest cabinet. Satisfied with the stuff he's taken, Bender left Rarity's house carrying the sack of gems over his shoulder to make his way back into the forest, but not before dropping a pile of bricks on Rarity's carpet just as he walked out the front door. Soon after Bender left the unicorn Rarity walked down the stairs to investigate what all the noise was about. She then screamed to the high Heavens, from seeing a pile of bricks at the door, all the gems taken and dresses torn. The rainbow Pegasus known as Rainbow Dash flew through the front door. "What happened Rarity?!" "I've been robbed!" she yelled. *** Bender was now walking past the place where he slaughtered all those Timberwolves. He looked happier than usual with all the gems he had taken. *** Pinkie Pie was sniffing the ground following a scent while; Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike followed her. "This Pony smells like stale alcohol and Tabaco." "A fitting smell for a Thief." said Rarity with gritted teeth. "Um, should we like report this to the Royal Guard and just go home?" said Fluttershy. "Nah! I think we'll find em." said Applejack." "I agree. We'll find this thief and whoop his ass!" said Spike. "We sure will Spike." said Rarity with a nasty grin. "Hey, I think I see something." shouted Rainbow Dash as she flew off ahead to find the pile of porno magazines Bender left behind. She picked up one and started flipping through it. "I think it's some kind of weird porno magazine." she said as she looked at pages of naked Human women doing nasty things. "Rainbow Dash, just leave it there. We'll come back and look at it after." said Twilight Sparkle. Just when they left Lyra Heartstrings, whom was apparently following them came by and took all the porno magazines, then ran off laughing maniacally. The Mane Six and Spike gasped in horror as they arrived at the place where Bender had slaughtered the Timberwolves. "It chopped them Timberwolves to pieces." said Applejack in shock with her jaw dropped. "I think we should turn back now." said Fluttershy shaking with fear. "Ah, come on!" shouted Rainbow Dash flying a little off a head. The rest of them didn’t move. "Fine, I'll go myself." "I'll come with you Dashie!" shouted Applejack. "We'll all come!" said Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy sighed. "I hope we don't die." *** Bender had now arrived back at the ship's crash site. "Yo Leela, I'm home." he shouted. Bender tapped his right footcup impatiently. It wasn't long till Leela answered by lowering the stairs. "Finally!" Just as he was about to walk up the stairs Leela questioned him. "Bender, where did you get all that stuff?" she asked curiously while she narrowed her eye at him making him nervous. Hidden in a near by bush were the Mane Six and Spike listening to them. "This is amazing! They are Aliens, yet they can speak English!" said Twilight in awe. "Also thieves." said Rarity angrily while she narrowed her eyes at Bender and Leela. "And the grey one is a robot!" said Pinkie Pie. "Could they hear us?" said Fluttershy. "Don't worry, I cast a noise mute spell." Back at Leela and Bender. "Well Bender?" she said as she walked down the steps. "Uhh, I found it at some town outside this forest." "Can you stop being a kleptomaniac for once?!" she shouted with her arms in the air in exasperation. "No!" Back at the bush. "Well, at least one seems civilized." said Rarity in a more up tone manner than earlier. Back at Leela and Bender. "Do you realize that you may have caused a political shitstorm among the natives of this planet?" "Also I found this cat!" he said as he took Opalescence out from his chest cabinet, which caused the Mane Six and Spike to gasp in horror in the bush and clearly showed Bender was not listening to Leela. "Sweet zombie Jesus! Let that cat go!" she shouted. "Fine!" he dropped Opalescence, whom immediately ran away into the bush along with the rest of the Mane Six and Spike. "I was gonna make a nice Bender Burger out from that cat." Back at the bush. "What's a Bender Burger?" said Spike. "I think it's some kind of food of theirs." said Twilight. "You mean he was gonna cook and eat my cat?" "Yep!" She gasped in horror. Back at Leela and Bender. "Bender do you realize--- Wait! Cats? Are the natives Human?" "No, they are Ponies. Could make good eating." In the bush the Mane Six and Spike gasped in horror. "Bender! It is forbidden by intergalactic law to eat sapient species." she shouted. They then sighed in relief. "Intergalactic Law? Hah, screw intergalactic law! I say we should burn the whole town down and kill everyone in it and then eat them!" Back at the bush the Mane Six and Spike looked terrified. "They'll destroy us all!" shouted Pinkie Pie with her front hooves waving wildly in the air. Leela kicked Bender in the face knocking him over, which caused him to drop his sack, thus spilling the stolen gems everywhere. "They are not for eating!" Leela shouted with gritted teeth. The Mane Six and Spike sighed in relief. "OK OK, Leela! Quit with this kicking me in the face as of late!" "You deserved it." Bender stood back up. "Why would you eat anything anyway? You're a robot, so you don't need to eat anything." "I can taste stuff, so I like to eat food." "Right. Are you sure the natives are Ponies?" "Yes." "That's ... odd. At any rate you must return those gems back to it's rightful-- Suddenly the Mane Six and Spike came out from the bush. "Aww, they are so cute!" shouted Leela. "Did you follow me?!" "Yes!" Rarity shouted while she ran towards Bender glaring at him angrily. "Because you stole my gems, tore my dresses and left a pile of bricks on my carpet!" "And?" "And took my cat!" "Not to mention planning on cooking the cat." said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of Bender's chest cabinet holding a porno magazine and caused the gems to fall out from his chest cabinet. "What the?!" he shouted. "Hey I found another one of those cool magazines!" "How did you get in there?" he then shouted "Get out!" he grabbed Pinkie Pie and threw her out of his chest into the bush and then closed his chest cabinet afterwards. No sooner had he had done that Pinkie Pie had again stuck her head out from his chest cabinet. "It's not possible!" "How are you doing that Pinkie Pie?" said Applejack. "Magic?" said Leela. "Get out!" he shouted. Bender threw Pinkie Pie out again into the bush and closed his chest, but again Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "This is fun!" she shouted. Bender threw Pinkie Pie out yet again into the bush and closed his chest, but yet again Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "Can you please get out of my chest?" Leela gasped. "Yes! I said please!" "OK." Pinkie Pie jumped out from his chest. "Thanks." he said while slamming his chest cabinet closed. Rainbow Dash flew towards Leela. "What's with the eye?" Leela sighed while she covered her face with her right hand. "Why does everyone I ever meet ask me that question?" "I'm just asking." "I'm an Alien alright!" "An Alien of an Alien?" said Pinkie Pie curiously. "Yeah." "She's actually a mutant." "God dammit Bender!" she shouted. "What? It's true Leela." "Thanks for being honest Bender." said Applejack. Twilight Sparkle walked towards Bender with her eyes narrowed. "I'm going to have to tell my big brother to have the Royal Guard keep a close eye on you, due to your threat of killing us all." "Fine, whatever." "Also you'll have to return everything you've stolen." "Dammit!" "Also can I open you up and study your parts?" "No!" "But this is for scientific research." "You can take your scientific research and shove it up your ass!" Twilight now turned to look at Leela. "Don't even think about it!" she said angrily while her eye was narrowed to a slit. "You’re lucky, I'm not gonna press charges Bender. This time." said Rarity. "Yeah, you're right there unicorn." he said while he lit himself up a cigar, using his left hand's middle finger as a lighter. "So what's you're names?" asked Leela. "I'm Rainbow Dash." she then began pointing her right hoof at her friends and saying their names. "That's Twilight Sparkle, that's Applejack, that's Fluttershy, that's Rarity, that's Spike, and that's Pink.... Where's Pinkie Pie?" *** Fry still asleep felt something soft poke his nose. "Uhh, Leela. My bones are broken, I can't have sex now." "I'm not Leela silly!" said an energetic voice. Fry opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a pink face of some sort of pony like creature with a huge pair of blue eyes staring at him. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!" Fry stared at Pinkie Pie blankly in complete bewilderment. "Man, am I on drugs again?" "Maybe. What's your name?" "I'm Fry." "Will you be my friend?" "Sure!" "Yay! I'll go tell the others." She leaped out of sight off Fry whom was lying on a bed. Back outside Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of Bender's chest cabinet. "I thought we agreed that you would not go inside my chest?!" Pinkie Pie jumped out of his chest. "Sorry, I needed to use it." "Needed to use it? You didn't pee in there did you?" "No, of course not. Anyway, I made a new friend, he's called Fry!" *** Discord while eating popcorn in space watched Leela and Bender on a plasma TV, both seemingly got along well with the Ponies in conversation and laughter outside the Planet Express Ship's crash site. "Well, that wasn't as fun as I expected." he said sounding disappointed. "Perhaps, I should mix it up a little? By throwing in a few others. Or not, maybe." He laughed maniacally rubbing his hands together while grinning madly. Ponies Ponies First contact went rather well for the Ponies, the aliens known as Fry, Leela and Bender were quite possibly not the harbingers of doom for the Ponies. Although unbeknownst to the Ponies and the aliens, there was another hidden force at work, which was the reason Fry, Leela and Bender came here in the first place. The hidden force was of course Discord, whom was no longer bound to his statue and has quite possibly become more powerful than ever. However Discord acted strangely subtle this time with his chaos creating powers. For the Draconequus merely just secretly watched as the events he set in motion unfold and didn't do anything too crazy or.... or maybe not? One can't really tell what could happen when it comes to Discord. *** In the Everfree Forest at the Planet Express Ship’s crash site Leela and Bender stood outside their ship before these strange sapient Ponies and a small purple dragon. "Twilight?" said Leela. "Yes?" "I was wondering if--- "What's with the pictures on your asses?" asked Bender interrupting Leela. Rainbow Dash smiled broadly as she flew towards Bender. "Allow me to tell the story how I discovered my talent and got my cutie ma--- "No thanks!" "Hmph!" She crossed her hooves, then turned away from Bender to fly back over to her friends. "Fine then, I won't tell you how I got my cutie mark!" "Good!" With that over with Leela decided to ask Twilight. "So anyway Twilight I was wondering if--- "Why are you wearing clothes Leela?" said Pinkie Pie curiously. "And why do you have such a poor sense of fashion?!" shouted Rarity. "This is just my casual clothes Rarity." she turned to Pinkie Pie. "And Pinkie it is considered taboo to be naked in public in our society. In fact you'll be arrested for indecent exposure if your found naked in public." "That's a darn stupid law! Y'all all body shy or something?" said Applejack. "I think most of us are yes." "But Bender is naked?" said Pinkie Pie. "No I'm not! I'm covering my parts." "Oh." "Twilight, I presume your civilization is non Spacefaring?" said Leela. "Unfortunately yes." "Right, so I can assume you won't have any real idea in how to fix our ship's engine or anything?" "Probably not." "Do you have any Dark Matter on this planet?" "I'm not sure." said Twilight. "Why do we need dark matter? Don't we have more than enough already?" said Bender. "For some strange reason the ship ran out of Dark Matter very quickly." "Ah for fuck's sake!" "I should have brought Nibbler." "Yes, his shit is useful unlike yours!" "We may need to find an alternative fuel for the ship." "Like magic?" said Twilight. "Magic?" then Bender shouted. "Did you say magic?!" "Um, yes." she said nervously. Bender roared in anger while he extended his arms to grab a fallen tree, followed by retracting his arms back to hold the tree over his head, then bent it, thus snapping it in half. "Whoa, you're strong." said Rainbow Dash. "This doesn't make sense!" Bender shouted. "Magic, talking ponies, purple dragon, getting amnesia at the edge of the Milky Way? The only logical explanation is that some kind of wizard gave us amnesia and sent us here into this parallel universe!" "You call that logical?" said Twilight. "You're one to talk! You're a fucking unicorn!" "And you're a foul mouthed sentient machine!" "That is powered by the power of beer!" he said while waving his right fist in the air. "Now that's illogical!" "No, it's not! Did you know that V-Two Rockets were powered by alcohol?" "I don't even know what a V-Two Rocket is." "Bender?!" shouted Leela. "Yes?" "What makes you think this is a parallel universe?" said Leela. "Think about it Leela; unicorns, pegasi, and just freaking talking ponies! Where would you find talking Ponies in the universe? "Maybe everything we come up with our imaginations actually creates parallel universes?" said Pinkie Pie while she rubbed her chin thoughtfully with her right hoof. "So in a sense were all kinda Gods?" said Leela. "Yep." "Dammit to fucking Robot Hell and back" shouted Bender. "If everything we come up with in our imaginations does in fact create another parallel universe, that means in some parallel universe me Bender has come to a parallel universe like this, under similar circumstances, in order to have a big fucking orgy with you six Ponies!" Everyone just stared at Bender wide eyed not knowing how to respond to that. Until Rarity stepped forward to glare at him angrily while she pointed her right hoof at him. "Are you always this vulgar?!" shouted Rarity. "Yes." "I hate to admit it, but you're right Bender." said Leela. "Yeah, I bet Pinkie Pie in some weird parallel universe is a serial killer and a cannibal!" "What kind of sick person's imagination would make a universe where I'm like that?" "The same kind of person who would come up with a silly kind of apocalypse, which consists of giant flying Cheeseburgers, that fire laser beams to destroy all civilization and wipe out all life." "That's just stupid." said Leela. "It's the Multiverse, so you might as well throw logic out the window. And I personally think, this is by far the most stupid and girly looking universe I've ever been too!" "Hey!" shouted Rainbow Dash angrily. "Our universe is not stupid and girly, yours is!" "No!" Bender poked her in the muzzle with his right hand." Yours is!" Rainbow Dash shoved Bender back. "Nu-uh! Yours is stupid and girly!" Bender pushed his forehead against hers, both narrowed their eyes angrily at one another. "Yours is!" "Yours is!" "Yours is!" Over the next five minutes Bender and Rainbow Dash kept arguing while the rest stared at them in disbelief. "No! Yours is!" said Bender. "No! Yours is!" "Stop it!" shouted Fluttershy. "This is pointless!" "But he said--" "You should be more mature Rainbow Dash. Now shake hooves and make up." For some reason or another both Bender and Rainbow Dash did shake hooves ... or hands and hooves in this case, however their eyes did glare at one another angrily while they did it. "Do you have some sort of place where we could stay for awhile just until we fix our ship?" said Leela. "Sure, there's plenty of room in Ponyville for you to stay." said Pinkie Pie. "Pft Ponyville, seriously? Hahaha! What a stupid name!" said Bender. "You're not nice!" shouted Pinkie Pie. "Well I'm Bender so--" "Bender, shut up before I kick you in the face again!" shouted Leela. "OK." said Bender fearfully. Suddenly there was a rustling sound, followed by Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle emerging out from a bush behind them. "Aww! She's so cute!" said Leela. "Sweetie Belle! What are you doing out here?! The Everfree Forest is dangerous!" shouted Rarity. "I followed you." "What were you doing in that bush?" "Eavesdropping!" "What did I tell you about eavesdropping?!" "Sorry." "Would there be any way you could take our ship to Ponyville?" "Hmm, maybe Leela." said Twilight thoughtfully while rubbing her left hoof on her chin. "I imagine it would be far too heavy for me to levitate with magic, but I could try teleporting it?" "Hold up! Before you try that, let me get Fry." Leela walked up the ships steps, through the cargo bay making her way into her cabin, where Fry was fast asleep. "Fry, you awake?" "I am now." Leela walked over to the bed, then picked Fry up. She carried him in her arms like a baby as she made her way back outside. "Hey why does this one have such small eyes?" Fry looked up to see where the voice was coming from... only to see a light blue pony (Rainbow Dash) with a rainbow mane flying above. "......." he looked at Leela. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" Leela shook her head side to side. "OK." "Why are you carrying him Leela?" said Rarity. "Because his bones are broken." said Pinkie Pie. "Oh my!" "Don't worry, she gave him a bone regeneration shot, so his bones will be all fixed back up in a few days." "How would she know that?" thought Leela to herself. "Twilight, can you teleport the ship now?" said Spike. Twilight gulped out of nervousness, then walked over to the ship's stairs. "I've never attempted to teleport something so large." . "That's what she said! Wooooo!" shouted Bender. Leela glared at him angrily narrowing her eye to a slit, which caused Bender to make a nervous whimpering sound. "OK here goes!" Twilight took a deep breath. A purple aura projected out from her horn, another purple aura also surrounded the Planet Express ship. Soon a bright light lit up on the tip of her horn as sweat began to pour down her face while she groaned in stress, all the while at the same time her friends cheered her on. "You can do it Twilight!" shouted Spike. With a blinding flash of light the Planet Express Ship disappeared. "Wow! Magic!" shouted Fry. Opalescence was almost home when all of a sudden she saw a blinding flash of light in the sky, followed by the appearance of the Planet Express Ship upside down above Ponyville, which then fell on Rarity's house destroying it, leaving behind nothing but piles of rubble. The Planet Express Ship created a very loud crashing sound as it destroyed Rarity's house, which could even be heard all the way from the Everfree Forest. "Well, that certainly doesn't sound very good!" said Rarity. "Oh no! What have I done?!" she shouted. "Twilight! You did it by accident right?" said Spike. "Of course!" she shouted. "Oh, I hope nopony was killed." said Fluttershy. "I'll go check it out!" shouted Rainbow Dash as she flew away. In no time at all Rainbow Dash was back in Ponyville, to see a large crowd of it's Pony residents talking among each other while they were gathered around the remains of Rarity's house. The Planet Express Ship was lying upside down on a pile of rubber of what used to be Rarity's living room. "Luckily Sweetie Belle followed us." Rainbow Dash flew back to the others, to land in front of Rarity looking nervous. "What happened?" "Uhhh, I'm not sure if I should-- "Come on! Tell me." "The ship ... well … the ship kinda … fell on your house." "WHAT?!" she shouted. Twilight's horn flashed with light quickly creating a purple force field around her body to protect herself from Rarity's wrath. "I'm sorry Rarity!" she shouted. "Oh it's quite alright Twilight, it was an accident." "Phew!" she shutdown her force field, then wiped the sweat off her forehead. "I'll have my house rebuilt... again." "You're taking this surprisingly well." "Well, I've learned to be a little less dramatic. Seeing as how Ponyville has been trashed a good few time these last few months you've been here." "Hey yeah!" shouted Pinkie Pie. "Things have been crazier than normal around here ever since Twilight moved---- "Ah for fuck's sake!" shouted Bender interrupting her. "We've been standing here for far too long talking about bullshit! Come on already! I wanna see this place!" With that they all went on their way to Ponyville. "Talk about overly dragged out sentences and conversations." thought Bender to himself. Two Meatbags And A Robot In PonyvilleTwo Meatbags And A Robot In Ponyville All of Fluttershy's friends slept well, of course Fluttershy herself couldn’t sleep as she lay wide awake under the covers of her bed over the fact that these Humans had canine teeth, which meant they ate meat. She soon relaxed a bit remembering Leela saying "It is forbidden by intergalactic law to eat sapient species." and since that these Humans are sapient just like Griffons, whom were omnivores as well and that also had the same laws about eating sapient species. Sure, Griffons have been even known to marry other non predator sapient species like Ponies out of love, even if they can't biologically have children together through love making, which wouldn’t matter anyway as long as they both love one another. She assumed Humans farmed domesticated animals for meat just like Griffons, whom did it on a small scale, but mostly Griffons liked to hunt animals. She did fear however since these Humans have an intergalactic civilization, so they must farm animals on a far wider scale than Griffons have been known to. That said she thought Humans were angels when compared to the race Bender told her about: The Omicronians. Now they were truly a race of warlike savages, yet despite being warlike savages they had by far the most strongest military in their universe, which made them even more scary. I mean what race blows up an entire planet over a show they like being canceled? That said, surely not all Omicronians are evil. For perhaps there are some kind Omicronians that do not agree what their leader Lrrr tells them to do. Well, at least they keep all the other races from fighting one another by living in fear under the Omicronians' shadow. So in a strange, but not in a very nice way the Omicronians bring harmony to their universe. She knows this because Pinkie Pie somehow knew (despite not being told by Fry, Leela or Bender) that there's an organization known as the DOOP, which intends to unite all the races in the universe in peace. However she did say that even the DOOP won't even help you if you're planet is attacked by the Omicronians. The last thing the DOOP wants is a war with the Omicronians, which they would lose badly along with many planets being destroyed. With Fluttershy's worries laid to rest she finally had closed her eyes and succumbed to sleep. *** Meanwhile back in Fry, Leela and Bender's own universe the Omicronian leader Lrrr was sitting on a couch next to his wife Ndnd in a living room watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on TV. On screen it showed Previously on My Little Pony. "Elements of Harmony, see: Mare in the Moon?" said Twilight Sparkle on TV. "But that's just an old ponies' tale." said Spike also on TV. "This show is amazing! If the Humans dare cancel this show I will destroy Earth!" shouted Lrrr. "I know, now shh! We must find out if Twilight Sparkle makes friends and if she defeats Nightmare Moon." said his wife Ndnd. "Indeed." *** In a less crazy place in the universe, deep in the sewers of New New York, within the town of mutants Leela's mutant parents Morris and Munda were sitting on a couch in their living room holding one another tightly with teary eyes while they looked through a photo album of their only daughter Leela. "We'll never see her again." said Morris. "We should have convinced her to leave Planet Express sooner." "Yes Munda, we should have." Up in New New York City in a filthy trash filled alleyway Zoidberg was rummaging through a dumpster eating garbage. "Mmm, delicious! Sure you don't want any Nibbler?" Across from the alleyway Nibbler the Nibblonian was sat against a wall looking depressed. "No Zoidberg, with The Mighty One and The Other dead there's no point, we are doomed." he said in his deep voice. "Nibbler, did you just talk?" Nibbler flashed his third eye making Zoidberg forget that he just talked. "Huh?" Zoidberg shrugged his shoulders then went back to eating the garbage within the dumpster. *** Back in Ponyville the Royal Guard were taking shifts watching the Planet Express Ship through the night, to protect the residents of Ponyville just in case Fry, Leela and Bender were suddenly to turn hostile. "Everything is going as planned." said Discord's voice that nobody heard. Surprisingly, nothing crazy or unexpected happened during the night. It was now morning and the sun's rays shined through the window of Leela's bedroom waking Leela herself up, Fry however still remained fast asleep. Leela was unusually lazy last night, due to not bothering to undress. So she merely put on her boots next to her bed, then made her way to the kitchen to meet Bender, whom was drinking out of a bottle of beer while leaning against the refrigerator. "So tell me, when did you start letting Fry shoot his DNA at you?" he said with a nasty grin. "Fry's bones are broken." "Well then, when did you start letting Fry sleep with you?" "When we were crash landing yesterday he confessed his love for me." "Oh. Why didn't you let him shoot his DNA at you after the opera and the whole Robot Devil ordeal last month?" "Enough with these questions!" she said angrily. "Fine, be that way!" he shouted. Bender stormed out of the room muttering angrily to himself. With Bender gone Leela made herself and Fry breakfast, which was porridge and Greek yogurt in two white bowls. Of course Leela had to carry Fry into the kitchen in order for him to have his breakfast, after all she didn't want him to spill Greek yogurt on her bed by mistake. Once they had breakfast Leela and Fry had a shower, brushed their teeth, a change of clothes (a copy of the exact same clothes) and did all other morning things you should do. Outside Bender walked up to a Royal Guard who blankly stared at him. "What are you looking at?!" the guard didn't say anything back he just stared. "Ah I see, you're like one of those British Queen's Guards. But what if I do this?!" he shouted. Bender zoomed his eyes out toward the Royal Guard's eyes until they were only an inch away from touching his eyes. "You know, I'm not gonna risk touching you with my eyes, cause I bet as soon as I did you'd kick my ass." With that Bender zoomed out his eyes back to normal, lit himself up a cigar using his left hand's middle finger as a lighter, then proceeded to walk around town. "Jeez, I hope they have cigars here?" he thought. But then he suddenly started shouting while he fell to his knees. "What if they don't have alcohol?!" "Don't worry we do." said Berry Punch walking past him. "Phew!" he said while wiping the sweat (oil) off his forehead. "Hey wait up!" Bender stood up and walked after Berry Punch. "Your assy mark tells me you're good with booze." "Oh no! You're not getting me drunk and getting me to have sex with you like others have done!" "……………" he said while he blankly stared at her. Bender slowly turned around and walked slowly away from Berry Punch He suddenly screamed aloud as he realized somewhere in the multiverse right now he must indeed be having sex with Berry Punch. "Damn you multiverse!" he shouted while waving his right fist in the air. "Only sapient humanoid aliens or robots huh?" said Lyra from behind him. "Yeah!" "Hmph! You're a xenophobe!" With that Lyra walked off in a huff. "Hmm, well I guess it mightn't be b---- he then suddenly shouted. "Nooo, this is crazy to think about!" Unbeknownst to anyone Discord with a pair of binoculars was on top of a high snowy mountain's peak far away watching Bender. "Come on Bender, do something crazy!" he shouted. *** In the Canterlot sculpture garden the statue of Discord was still there, yet there was another Discord far away up a mountain watching Bender. Suddenly a flock of pigeons landed on Discord's statue, whom dropped many droppings on him. "When I get out of here again, you pigeons will pay dearly!" shouted Discord. *** Princess Celestia in her golden chariot pulled by four Pegasus Royal Guard descended down from the sky above Ponyville to land in front of Bender, whom was smoking a cigar at the foot of the Planet Express Ship's stairs. "Greetings, I am Princess Celestia, and I gladly welcome you to Equest-- "So you're the big boss of all the Ponies, right?" She smiled warmly at him then said. "In a way yes, I am. But don't you worry, I'm a kind leader, who would never-- "Hah! Sure you are!" he said sarcastically with a nasty grin. He puffed his cigar blowing smoke into Celestia's face causing her to cough, then to angrily glare at him. The Royal Guard also glared angrily at Bender for his lack of respect for their princess. "I see you are quite the gentlecolt." she said sarcastically. "And I see you have quite a huge ass!" "There's no point in talking to you is there?" "Nope." Just then Leela walked down the stairs carrying Fry. "At last the less rude aliens." she thought. *** Miles away on top of a snowy mountain Discord laughed while he watched Bender talk to Celestia. "Oh Bender, you're so lucky I sent you to a parallel universe where Princess Celestia is compassionate with a heart of gold, otherwise you'd be dead by now." he then giggled sounding like a school girl. "Oh Bender, you'd love to help the Ponies kill all Humans in one of the Conversion Bureau universes, where Celestia is a tyrant. Perhaps I should send another Bender just like you there?" Author's Note I've kinda hit writer's block again. Take Me To Your LeaderIn Ponyville, outside the Planet Express Ship next to the remains of Rarity's House, the leader of Equestria Princess Celestia had met with Bender and... well Bender was his rude and generally obnoxious self, which resulted in really nothing productive being said between one another. But the good news now Leela was carrying Fry down the Ship's steps. "Greetings, I am Celestia. Welcome to-- "Why is your horn so big?" said Fry pointing his index finger at Celestia's horn. "Woooo!" shouted Bender hooting. Celestia sighed while she rolled her eyes. "Because I'm an Alicorn OK?" she said sounding annoyed. Leela placed Fry down on the ground next to the ship's stairs. "Don't listen to Fry, he's an idiot." "No, I'm doesn't!" Celestia flapped her wings to fly into the air off her chariot to make her way towards Fry, then landed in front of him, which resulted in Fry to scream in fear while he placed his hands over his head to protect himself. At the same time Bender ran screaming up the ship's stairs to safety within the ship. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so rude!" cried Fry. "Don't hurt him!" Leela shouted while she went into a martial arts stance. Leela heard Celestia's voice inside her head. "I'm not going to hurt him. I'm going to heal him." Leela relaxed lowering her fists. "Shh, look at me." Celestia said with a soft motherly voice while she looked down at the terrified form of Fry. "Everything is going to be OK. I'm not going to hurt you." Fry looked up with tears in his eyes at Celestia's smiling face. "You're not?" "Of course not. In fact, I'm going to heal you." Celestia gently placed her right hoof on his chest causing Fry to shake in fear. "Relax, close your eyes and breathe deeply." she whispered. Fry relaxed closing his eyes and took a deep breath. Celestia's horn lit up with a bright yellow light, magic channeled out from Celestia's right hoof onto Fry's chest, causing a small area on Fry's chest where her hoof was to glow with blue sparkling light. Fry felt a tingling sensation all across his body, he then soon could feel the pain washing away and the strength returning to his legs. "Thank you very much." Celestia smiled warmly in reply, then gently levitated him onto his feet, which caused him to stumble briefly, before regaining his balance. "Now, take me to your leader." "Uh Fry, I am the leader silly." she said while she gave him a weird look. "Oh." Fry walked back up the ship's stairs. "Celestia?" said Leela. "Do you know of any way we could get home?" "Unfortunately, I do not have the knowledge to create a trans-dimensional portal to take you home to your own universe." "So we're stuck here?" "Well Discord, might be able to do it, but he's not exactly available." "What do you mean?" "Well Discord... is the spirit of chaos, so we have to keep him imprisoned in stone." "Oh." "So... since your people can travel the stars, I was wondering if you could share this knowledge with us?" "Well I do have a book on board the ship that tells you how to increase the speed of light and create a spaceship." "How... how does one increase the speed of light?" "Well I'm a little rusty on how it works, but basically the engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is and the engines move the universe around it." "Oh." "Why do you ask anyway?" "I'm not exactly sure if our sun will stay healthy and live forever, which in turn makes me fear I am not truly immortal." A single tear rolled down her left cheek. "For I have watched stars across the cosmos die for thousands of years, so I fear there's a chance all life as we know it will one day die on this planet. I cannot allow my little Ponies and all the other races and even the Changelings fade into the darkness to be forgotten forever." "Even if your race didn't make it to the stars, in another parallel universe your people did make it to the stars." "I can take comfort in that, thanks." "Happy to help." "I look forward to reading this book. For with this knowledge I can ensure the survival of all the races on this planet." "You might have to watch out for some hostile Alien races." "But not all aliens are hostile right?" "Of course not. There's many friendly aliens too." "Oh, good." "I'll go get the book." Leela walked back up the ship's stairs into the cargo bay, which was still littered with Bender's bricks lying everywhere. "I really gotta clean this place up." Just then Bender walked out from the crew's quarters next to the cockpit. "So she's not gonna kill us?" "No." "Oh good." He exited the ship by walking down the stairs. Elsewhere Fry was sitting in the captain's seat in the cockpit looking bored. "I imagine this planet doesn't have TV. So what the hell am I gonna do for fun?" Outside Bender walked past Celestia. "Bender?" "What?!" Bender shouted turning around to give her an angry glare. "You better behave yourself." "Why?" "Or I'll wipe your porno files with my magic." "You wouldn’t dare!" "Wouldn’t I?" The two stared at one another in silence for about a minute, until Bender sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll behave myself." "Good." Leela walked down the ship stairs holding a red book. "Here's the book you wanted." Celestia's horn lit up surrounding the book in a golden aura, then levitated the books towards her. "Thank you Leela." "You're welcome." Celestia flew back onto her chariot. "I have other duties to attend to. So, goodbye for now." With that her chariot took off into the sky leaving Bender and Leela alone outside the ship. "Well, I'm gonna look at porno for a few hours." Bender said as he walked up the ship's stairs. Just as Bender went inside the crew's quarters, Fry had exited the cockpit to walk across the cargo bay, then headed outside by walking down the ship's steps. "So Leela, what are we gonna do?" "Well Fry, we might possibly just have to spend our entire lives here." "And?" Leela sighed looking away from Fry. "We have to look for jobs." "Why?" "To earn a living." Fry gasped. "Fry, we can't be jobless bums!" "No, look up Leela." Leela looked up to see Pinkie Pie standing in mid air above her head. "OK, so you have the power to defy the laws of physics?" "Yes." Pinkie Pie jumped down landing in front of Leela. "Anyway, I couldn’t help overhearing you're looking for jobs." "Why yes, we are." said Leela. "Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know just the jobs for you!" "What?" "You can help Applejack on her farm as an Applebucker." "Applebucker?" "You've got strong legs, so I think you'll be a perfect Applebucker." "Well, it'll do for the moment." "I'll ask AJ." Just then Pinkie Pie became a pink blur as she darted off at supersonic speed. "Maybe we could power the ship with Pinkie Pie?" Leela thought. Seconds later, Pinkie Pie came back. "She said yes." "OK, how do I get there?" "I'll take you there. Get on my back." Leela got on Pinkie Pie's back, then Pinkie Pie darted off at supersonic speed, all the while Leela could be heard screaming. "This is crazy." shouted Fry. "I know right." said Pinkie Pie suddenly in his face looking at him upside down while she floated in mid air. "……" Pinkie Pie turned her body upright in mid air, then dropped herself back onto her four hooves in front of Fry. "Anyway, what about my job?" "You can be my assistant baker at Sugarcube Corner." "I'm not good at cooking." "Don't worry, I can teach you." "OK. But can we just walk there?" "Sure." While Pinkie Pie and Fry walked away from the ship, a large group of Ponies wearing yellow hardhats and holding construction tools walked towards Rarity's house to rebuild it. "At least we don't have to do interviews here." Fry thought. "Normally you would." Fry decided not to question how she read his mind, just in case the entire space time continuum collapsed. *** In an apple orchard just outside Ponyville Applejack bucked an apple tree causing many apples to fall into the basket below. "Just like that Leela. Now, you try." "Hi-yah!" shouted Leela as she kicked an apple tree next to her, to result in many apples to fall off the tree into a basket below. "Hah, you're a natural." *** Miles away on top of a snowy mountain Discord was fast asleep snoring loudly, due to being bored with the lack of chaos. *** Inside the Planet Express Ship Bender was fast asleep on a hammock in the crew's quarters. In Bender's dream he was a five hundred feet tall giant walking through Ponyville, where he proceeded to go on a rampage by stomping on buildings destroying them and crushing panicking Ponies in the streets. "I am your God now!" he roared. He also fired thick red laser beams from his eyes vaporizing Celestia in the sky. "Mwahahaha!" he laughed maniacally. He burped a column of flame out from his mouth setting many buildings on fire. "Burn!" A huge brick dropped out from underneath him, which he then picked up and threw at Rarity's house smashing it. In the real world (or at least not in this parallel universe) Ponyville wasn't under attack by the giant robot Bender, Fry was approaching Sugarcube Corner alongside Pinkie Pie. "This is Sugarcube Corner." she said with pride. "Looks like a gingerbread house." "Duh!" She opened the door. "Come on inside." Fry walked inside to be greeted by Mrs Cake from behind her counter. "Hello Fry!" "Uh, hello." "Pinkie Pie has told me so much about you." "She has?" "Yes, so how's things with your special somepony?" "Special somepony?" "You're lover." "Good, I think." "You think?." "I think it's good." "Well okay then." Pinkie Pie walked up to the counter. "Can I have Fry as my assistant?" she asked with pleading doggy eyes. "First, I'll need to know if my husband agrees." she opened the door behind her and then shouted. "Can Pinkie Pie have an assistant to work with her?!" "Sure." Mr Cake simply answered. "Before I hire you Fry, do you have any experience in baking cakes and making candy in general?" "Uh no." "Well OK then, Pinkie Pie will teach you." "Come on Fry." shouted Pinkie Pie while she grabbed him taking him inside the back of the shop. *** Back within the Planet Express Ship inside the crew's quarters, Bender woke up, then stood up off his hammock, then made his way into the cargo bay and then down the ships stairs. "You should go back inside?" said Rainbow Dash (with a red haversack on her back) as she flew down from the sky. "Why?" "We have a storm scheduled in half an hour." "Scheduled?" "Yeah, we control the weather." "Righttt, next you'll be telling me you control the sun." "Celestia does." "Crazy shit. Wait, you Ponies control the weather?" "Yes." "Could you fire lightning at me?" "What?! No!" "Come on, I like lightning." "But I could kill you!" "Nah, lightning doesn't do any harm to robots." "Oh." "But it does make us high." he thought to himself "I might fire lightning at you." "I'll pay you fifty bits if you hit me with a few lightning bolts." "Deal!" She shook his hand, then he handed her fifty bits, which she put away in her haversack. Little did Rainbow Dash know, that Bender stole those fifty bits when he was off sneaking around last night through Ponies' homes and notto mention Rainbow Dash just inadvertently agreed to be Bender's drug dealer. "So you can keep one of the storm clouds for me later?" "I sure will." Rainbow Dash wasn't lying either. She started to think maybe Bender isn't so bad after all, for he did give her fifty bits. Beer Beer Up top of a snowy mountain Discord was still fast asleep snoring loudly, due to being bored with the lack of chaos. Meanwhile in Sugarcube Corner, things weren't going very well for Fry. "I'm sorry Pinkie Pie." said Fry as he sadly looked down at the smoking cupcakes on the tray within the oven he baked, that were burnt to a crisp. "Hey." Pinkie Pie put a hoof on his right shoulder giving it a gentle reassuring rub. "You did you're best." "I guess." "Someponies like myself like the taste of burnt food." she grabs one of the cupcakes and devours it. "Mmm! See?" "You're just doing that to make me feel better." "No really, someponies like the taste of burnt food." Elsewhere over at Sweet Apple Acres Applejack and Leela were making good progress on harvesting the apples. "Hi-yah." shouted Leela has she sent dozens of apples off the tree to land in a basket below. Leela sighed, just as she was about to knock the apples off another tree. "What's wrong?" said Applejack with a look of concern. "I'd hate to be a burden if you barely make ends meat selling apples?" "Ends meat?" "Make enough money to support yourself and your family without having to pay me." "Hah! Don't worry. We're quite rich." "You are?" "We sell world famous cider, so of course we're rich. "Really?" "Yeah, we just don't like to look like we're rich." "Oh." Leela noticed a storm cloud in the distance. "I think it's gonna rain soon." "It's not scheduled to rain here." "OK then." Leela then thought as she went back to work. "So apparently they control the weather? This world is getting crazier and crazier." *** Back on board the Planet Express Ship, Bender was bored out of his mind sitting on the captain's chair in the cockpit. "Of all the places to end up, we end up on a fucking planet with talking pastel rainbow horses." he sighed in sadness. "Did I deserve this insanity?" Suddenly there was the loud sound of thunder followed by it beginning to rain heavily outside the window. With nothing better to do Bender got up, walked out of the cockpit, and headed down the ship's stairs out into the rain. He needed a shower after all and it's not like he could get a cold out in the rain, being a machine and all. Bender just stood there outside the ship doing nothing but staring down at the ground with a look of deep sadness across his face. "Why am I even here? Like what's the point of it all?" he thought trying to understand this illogical world. Even after the stormed subsided an hour later, Bender was still literally standing there doing nothing but staring at the ground. Pretty much everypony ignored him as he stood there for hours non end. Until at some point after a several hours Lyra had approached him noticing how depressed he looked. "Hey, you OK?" He said nothing in response. "Are you OK?" Still no response. "Listen about yesterday when I levitated and slammed you on the gr--- "LEAVE Me ALONE!" he shouted. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." she pleaded as her eyes became moist. "What did I just say idiot?" he then shouted "Leave me alone!" "Okay, I’ll leave you alone." she said in a low voice tears ran down her cheeks. She gave him one last look of pity before she trotted away. Soon after Lyra had left, Leela had come back from work after a day of helping Applejack buck apple trees and generally help her family around the farm. It was a good day for Leela, for she got the meet Applejack's little sister Apple Bloom and her grandmother Granny Smith. "Hey, you OK?" she said sounding concern. "I'm fine!" he said angrily. "OK." With that Leela with up the stairs into the ship to head for a shower. *** Fry, after finishing his day of work at Sugarcube Corner decided to pay a visit to the Ponyville library, where he was scrolling through books lined up on the shelves through out the library. "There's no TV here, so I gotta find something fun to read." he thought. From across the room near the stairs Twilight looked at Fry curiously as he went from shelf to shelf looking for a book to read. "See anything you like Fry?" "No." "May I recommend you a book?" "Uhh, I don't really like books." Twilight narrowed her eyes angrily at him, for not only did he just waste her time, but the fact he didn't even like books. "Then why are you even here?!" she bellowed in frustration. "Well, I'm kinda looking to see if you have any comics." "Oh … Well, unfortunately we don't have any comics here." "Dammit!" Fry walked out the front door leaving the library. *** Outside the Planet Express Ship Bender was still standing doing nothing but staring at the ground. When all of a sudden his chest cabinet opened by itself. "Huh?" Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of his chest cabinet. "You know what, I won't even ask for logical explanations anymore here." Pinkie Pie jumped out of Bender's chest cabinet to land on her four hooves in front of him. "Will you be my friend Bender?" "No!" Suddenly she looked at him with sad doggy pleading eyes while her lower lip quivered. "Stop looking at me like that!" "Pwetty pwease!" "…. I-I.... I said no." he said as he found it increasingly difficult to 'say no' to those pleading eyes of hers. "Awww, come on! I even have a party set up for you and your friends starting at nine o'clock tonight at Sugarcube Corner." Bender growled crossing his arms. "Fine! I'll be your friend if it'll get you to leave me alone." he shouted. "Yay!" she shouted suddenly giving him a hug causing him to groan in annoyance. "Is there booze at them parties of yours?" "Yes." "Well, at least if the party sucks there's booze for me to drink." "Exactly!" Happy to know Bender was now her friend she ran off at such speed she was a blur to someplace else to leave Bender in peace. Just as soon as she left Fry had arrived. "Hey Bender, you gonna go to the party later?" "Yeah." Bender lit himself up a cigar using his middle finger as a lighter, while Fry made his way up the ship's stairs. He puffed his cigar as he assumed Fry was going to have his dinner with Leela on board the ship. Like he cared for his pitiful organic life form friends? Well ... maybe a little. Fortunately, in Bender's case as a robot he did not need to eat food, however he did need alcohol to fuel his power cells. The cigars? They were just used to make himself look cool. "HEY, BENDER!" Bender looked up to see it was Rainbow Dash that shouted at him, whom held a small storm cloud in her hooves. "Hello Dash!" "When do you wanna get hit with lightning?" "Hit me with the shock juice just before the party starts." "OK, see you later." Rainbow Dash flew away taking the storm cloud with her. "Hmm, maybe I should get a job?" he thought. He went back up the stairs of the ship to head into the crew's quarters in order to pass the time by watching porn for a few hours. *** Later at night Bender left early for the party to hide the fact from Fry and Leela that he was gonna get himself whacked out on electricity. "Can't let those two catch me jacking-on." he thought as he walked down the ship's stairs. In truth, Bender never stopped getting stoned off electricity, he just did it behind their backs. And so he made his way over to Sugarcube Corner, where he conveniently met Rainbow Dash just outside holding a small storm cloud. "Hey, Bender!" "Yo!" "Want me to fire lightning at you now Bender?" "Hold up a second, let me just put this magnet on my head first." Bender took a square yellow refrigerator magnet out from his chest cabinet, he then placed it on his head. Which resulted in him going out of his mind and start to sing Wild Rover, at the same time Rainbow Dash stared at him while giving a weird look. "I've been a wild rover for many's the year, I've spent all me money on whiskey and beer! But now I'm returning with gold in great store! And I never will play the wild rover no more! And it's no, nay, never, no, nay never no more! Will I play the wild rover, no never no more! I went in to--" Rainbow Dash bucked the cloud hitting Bender with a lightning bolt. "Awwwww yeah!" With a magnet on his head while being hit with lightning Bender was stoned out of his mind with his vision blurred. "Bender, are you Okay?" she said with concern has Bender's eyes had become derped. "Uh..yes... I'm fine." Bender found it painful to look at Rainbow Dash, for her mane caused his vision to blur with rainbow colors and static giving him a headache. "Are you sure?" "Yes... " he groaned in pain as he rubbed his forehead." I'm..... fine." Rainbow Dash walked away, leaving Bender alone. "Uhh my head!" he then looked at his fingers to see he had seven on each hand. "Holy shit!" In reality Bender had only three fingers on each hand. However, with drugs involved, what is real and what is not real isn't all that clear. So he wondered around Ponyville with a dazed look in his eyes. Fry and Leela were probably at the party by now, but he forgotten how to get back to Sugarcube Corner due to being out of his mind. For he had slowly lost his mind and couldn't think with logical sense as he saw Amy Wong, whom wore her usual pink clothes as she walked up to him with a sultry look in her eyes. "Hey there hot stuff." "Hey Amy, you end up here too?!" The following morning Bender opened his eyes to find to his horror that he wasn't in his own bed, but in Lyra's and Bon Bon's bed, clearly that wasn't Amy last night. Both of them were snuggled up to him, with Lyra on the left and Bon Bon on the right. Bon Bon sighed happily then spoke. "Good morning." Bender jumped out of the bed and ran out of the room screaming. "Such a xenophobe." said Lyra while she crossed her hooves frowning. Bender screamed as he ran through Ponyville remembering the horrors of last night’s activity with Lyra and Bon Bon while everypony in Ponyville stared at him in confusion. Bender ran up the Planet Express Ship's stairs into the cargo bay, then he made his way into the crew's quarters, followed by locking the door behind him, and then he fell to his knees crying. "I'll never do drugs again!" He takes a yellow refrigerator magnet out from his cabinet and puts it on his forehead, making him high and start to sing Wild Rover again. Else where on board the ship Fry and Leela were in bed, with the smell of alcohol in the air from Pinkie Pie's party last night, but other than that they were fine. Author's Note Well, I hope that doesn't earn me a mature rating. It was suggestive. That means it's still teen rated right? Beer Drinking RobotInside the Planet Express Ship Fry and Leela were still in bed fast asleep, however in within the crew's quarters, the alcoholic robot Bender lay wide awake on the floor, with a magnet on his forehead making him sing 'She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain'. "She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes... He wished through his singing that he was back home in his own universe, so he could get his hands on a memory enema to completely forget the horrors of last night. All of a sudden Bender stood up, pulled the magnet off his head, followed by throwing it on the ground. "Well, it's done now, no use pondering on it. Best thing to do is to try forget about it." With that Bender walked out of the room into the cargo bay and headed down the ship's stairs. Outside Bender was greeted by a warm sunny morning as he walked down the ship's stairs. "It's nice out." He took a cigar out from his chest cabinet, and lit it up with his left middle finger using it as a lighter.... Unfortunately, his lighter finger came out with only small insignificant sparks. "Ahhh, come on!" he tryeed again to light his cigar still the same result. "Ah for fuck's sake!" It was was then that Bender noticed Spike standing outside Rarity's house, which was still being repaired. "HEY DRAGON!" he shouted. "What?!" he shouted back. "Get over here and light my cigar!" "No!" "Ah come on, please!" "Well OK, since you said please." Spike walked over to Bender and lit his cigar up for him by blowing out a small light green flame out from his mouth, which gently set alight the tip of Bender's cigar. "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Question." "Yes?" "Do you know where I can find someone who owns a buffer?" "For what?" "So that they can use it to polish my ass." "Uhhh, I think Aloe and Lotus at the spa could use their buffer to polish your ass." "You know what forget I asked." Bender walked away suddenly deciding he didn't want his assed polished after all. "What an ass." *** Discord stood a top a snowy mountain looking disappointed at the results of bringing Fry, Leela and Bender to Equestria. "This is boring! Perhaps, I should just send them home? Or maybe do something crazy? Like send other characters like Teletubbies or something here. Or maybe send them on a Multiverse traveling adventure?" Discord grinned nastily, followed by disappearing in a blinding flash of light. Author's Note Sorry for such a small update, but I have no real idea where to go from here. So this might be the end of this story. But I hope this at least inspires you to make your own crazy Futurama crossovers of My Little Pony. MadnessAs the alcoholic robot known as Bender walked away from the Planet Express Ship, there was suddenly a massive blinding flash of light at the edge of Ponyville, followed by the appearance of a enormous black mechanical cuttlefish like starship: A Reaper. "Oh crap!" Bender shouted as the Ponies fled for their lives, pegasus carrying Earth Ponies away, some unicorns teleporting them selves away and friends. The Reaper roared it's horn, then fired a thick red laser beam which blew up Rarity's house, which was still being repaired. "Oh, come on!" shouted Rarity's voice. Bender ran a way out of Ponyville screaming, when out of nowhere at the opposite side of town there was another blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of a giant lizard: Godzilla. Godzilla roared while he jumped into the air to tackle the Reaper down onto the ground. The Reaper and Godzilla wrestled with one another along the ground, crushing buildings and everything in their path. Discord was rolling along the ground laughing a top a snowy mountain. "Why didn't I do this earlier?" Back in Ponyville there was a blinding flash of light outside Sugarcube Corner, followed by the appearance of Zoidberg. "Hurray, I'm in Equestria!" his happiness was short live as he gasped in horror seeing Godzilla and a Reaper wrestling one another on the ground and destroying Ponyville. "It is up to me to save Equestria and--- His sentence was cut short by being stepped on by The Dark Lord Cthulhu. On the opposite side of Ponyville there was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of a huge fiery demon known as The Balrog, aka Durin's Bane. The Balrog roared while he jumped into the air to tackle Cthulhu down onto the ground. The Balrog and Cthulhu wrestled with one another along the ground, adding to the Reaper's and Godzilla's destruction of Ponyville. In Canterlot there were Cyborg Raptors that could fire laser beams from their eyes, whom were fighting against Space Marines from Warhammer 40k in the streets, killing and destroying every living thing caught in the crossfire. Giant rabbits, that could fire laser beams from their eyes were battling against Galactic Empire Forces from Star Wars with many AT-AT walkers outside Appleloosa. Back over in Canterlot, things were now a complete clusterfuck. The terrified Ponies could do little but hide as these nightmarish monsters from countless parallel universes all engaged one another in combat. Their were demons, giant robots, dinosaurs, Orcs, Orks, Crab People, zombies, zombie teletubbies, Reapers from Mass Effect, cyborgs, robot unicorns, Balrogs, titans and other giant monsters, plus all manner of things fighting in Canterlot. As they continued to kill one another more and more creatures appeared with blinding flashes of light out of nowhere to add to the chaos. *** A top a snowy mountain Pinkie Pie appeared before Discord with a blinding flash of light. "This ends now!" she roared. "And who are you stop me?" "I am a nearly completely immortal entity of Pinkie Pie." Pinkie Pie fired red laser beams from her eyes at Discord. "Noooooooooo!" he shouted as his body was turned to stone. Pinkie Pie then sent him back to Canterlot in his own universe as a statue. Pinkie Pie then proceeded to go back in time, thus resending everything back to their own universe and undoing all the damage they done. Fry found himself back in the Planet Express Ship's cockpit flying towards the Milky Way Galaxy. "We're back Leela!" Fry shouted. "What do you mean we're back?" "You don't remember?" "Remember what?" "The Ponies!" "What Ponies?" Fry was now sure they had gone back in time, but for some reason Leela didn't remember them being in a magical land of Ponies. Fortunately this time Fry had avoided breaking his bones and they once again defeated the Space Pirates, but Discord didn't show up this time and they made it back to Earth safely. Unfortunately, Bender had no memory of being in Equestria either when Fry decided to ask him about it. *** Things were more or less normal in Equestria itself. However Pinkie Pie kept on rambling on about interdimensional aliens called Fry, Leela and Bender visiting Equestria, but nopony believed her, they merely dismissed her as looking for attention. Pinkie Pie made crazy conspiracy theories about time travel and an all powerful multiverse traveling Discord. She knew she was right, just everypony but her had their memory wiped. The End In a plain white featureless void floating in nothing there was another Discord. "Nothing ever truly dies." He disappeared in a blinding flash of light to cause chaos in some other unsuspecting universe. Space Pirates Space Pirates In the incredible vastness of space at the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy a green rocket like space ship that looks like some sort of Thunderbirds reject made it's way towards the galaxy, leaving behind the empty void of intergalactic space at the galaxy's horizon. At the far end of the ship's tail there was a circular logo that said "Planet Express" with a green rocket between the writing. Within the ship a young man sitting on a orange arm chair in his late twenties, whom had red (orange) hair with two spikes in front. He was a bit out of shape and wore a red jacket that he had open, which revealed his white t-shirt underneath, plus he wore blue pants and black sneakers. "That delivery was too close Leela, those aliens almost got us." "Yeah, we were so lucky to get away in time when they were chasing us." Leela also in her late twenties sat in the orange driver seat driving the ship with the steering wheel and unlike Fry had a finely toned, yet meaty looking body, in other words sexy. She had however rather alien features, like purple hair with a ponytail and one large single eye. She wore skin tight black pants, a white tank top, big black boots, and a highly advance piece of machinery on her left wrist. "I don't think my harvested organs would sell well." "And I don't think I would be a very good sex slave." Fry raised his right eye brow grinning a little. "Shut up!" "Anyway, are we home yet Leela?" No, Fry." she said. "How about now?" "Fry shut up before I stuff my boot up your ass." "Okay." he said nervously. Leela thought she was a little too hard on Fry there, so she came up with a plan to brighten the mood a bit. "Wanna play I Spy?" "Sure." "I spy, with my one big eye something beginning with--" "Warning! Massive weight detection in crew's sleeping quarters." said a robotic female voice from a Computer near by. "Fry, can you check that out?" "Do I have to?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because when we get to Earth we will almost certainly crash land." "And?" "And we might die." "Oh, OK." With that Fry got up and walked out of the cockpit through the sliding door into the empty cargo bay, where he opened the door next to the cockpit on the right and.... a huge pile of bricks fell on Fry crushing him and covered his whole body in bricks. "Ow! I think I've broken my bones." "Sorry Fry." said a drunken voice from the crew's quarters. "Bender! Have you got brickiarrhea again?!" he shouted. "Yes." Suddenly the Ship shook violently causing many bricks to spill out from the crew's quarters into the cargo bay. Outside two ships looked like old-fashioned wooden pirate ships and even have sails, that flew towards the Planet Express ship firing cannon balls at it, causing dents along the hull, however most of the cannon balls miss, due to Leela flying the ship side to side, which was strangely enough very effective against these pirates. Back in the ship Leela spoke on intercom. "Space Pirates! Quick load the torpedoes!" "Out of torpedoes." said the ship's robotic female voice. "Great, just great. I should have took the tollbooth, no Space Pirates there." Bender smoking a cigar ran out from the crew's quarters into the cargo bay, he sent bricks flying everywhere while carrying a large load of his bricks. "We can fire my bricks at them!" he shouted on intercom while making his way through the cargo bay. "Good! Is Fry at the turret?" "Um Fry's bones are broken." "What?! she shouted. "It's a long story." The ship shook violently again from being hit by a cannon ball, which caused Bender's cigar to fall out from his mouth and himself to fall over and drop his bricks all over the floor. "Fuck!" he shouted. "Get to the torpedo room already and fire your feces at them!" she shouted. "I'm on it bossy boots!" Bender scrambled to his footcups, then picked back up his cigar to place back in his mouth, which he briefly puffed to blow smoke in the air, then grabbed as many of his bricks as he could off the floor before making his way into the torpedo room. "They'll love this shit!" he said with a nasty grin. A dozen bricks dropped out from Bender's ass onto the floor while he had begun loading the bricks into a torpedo launcher. "Firing bricks!" shouted Leela. Bricks blasted out from the Planet Express Ship like shotgun shells (whole bricks) that shattered both the Space Pirates' ship halls followed by blowing them up into smithereens just like that. "Yes, you did it Bender!" "Like I told you before Leela, bricks are better than cannon balls." "Did you ever consider becoming a Bricklayer?" "Yes, like many other Bending Units like myself I got a job as a Bricklayer once, due to the fact we crap bricks." "Why did you leave?" "Every Bending Unit that was there was crapping bricks all the time all over the place, and I kept falling over bricks." "Oh. Anyway your shiny metal ass produces very good weapons." "And building material. Unlike you meatbags' disgusting smelly crap!" "Hey! Our crap can be used as fertilizer!" "True. Leela, go check on Fry, I think he's in a great deal of pain." *** Leela made her way out of the cockpit to see Fry groaning in pain while lying on the floor among the bricks all over the cargo bay outside the crew's quarters. "Fry are you OK? Does Bender have brickiarrhea again?" she shouted while she ran over to him. "Yeah, uhhhh aahh ffffuck! I'm just in a great deal of pain!" "Hold on Fry let me give you a bone regeneration shot." "You have those?" "Fry you live in the future, so shut up!" With that Leela ran into the medbay to grab a syringe filled with blue liquid out from a press, then ran back into the cargo bay to inject Fry in the arm with the syringe. "Ow! That hurt Leela!" "Quit being a baby Fry." "I'm not a baby Leela, you are!" "Righttt." "How long till I get my bones fixed?" "A few days." "Dammit!" "Bender get in here and throw all your crap out the airlock!" she shouted. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of Discord, aka the Spirit Of Disharmony, a Draconequus which seemed to be a mixed species. Due to having; the head of a Pony, a dragon's tail, a dragon's left leg, a eagle's claw for a right arm and other strange features. "Who the hell are you?" shouted Leela. "There's no point in telling, for you won't remember, because you would ruin my fun." Leela went into a Martial Arts stance. "Go whoop his ass Leela!" shouted Fry. "Hi-yah!" Leela leaped into the air to kick Discord in the mouth knocking one of his teeth out. "Ow!" shouted Discord while he placed his right hand over his mouth winching in pain in an effort to stop the blood dripping from his mouth, while simultaneously with is right claw he tried to grab Leela, who dodged his swipes with his claw by jumping around and swerving left to right. "He-yah!" she shouted while she started punching Discord's face with her powerful fists. "Ow!" Suddenly Bender jumped on Discord's back, then proceeded to wrap his arms around him and then bend his back. He broke Discord's back with a bone cracking sound causing Discord to scream in pain. "Aaaahhh! Stop it!" "Hah! I should be a Chiropractor!" he shouted. "Hell yeah Bender, break his back!" shouted Fry. "Enough!" screamed Discord while a powerful burst of energy blasted out from him, which sent Leela and Bender slamming into opposite walls across the cargo bay. "I did not come to your universe to feel pain!" "Stop talking with your big dragged out sentences!" shouted Fry. While Bender groaned on the ground in pain, Leela had already gotten back onto her feet and proceeded to jump high into the air towards Discord with a flying kick intended for his face. But Discord swerved to the right narrowly dodging her boot, to grab her ponytail while she was in mid air and then throw her back across the room to slam into the wall. "You are persistent I give you that, but it's time to end this silliness!" Behind Discord the robot Bender had gotten back up on his footcups, whom then proceeded to pick up one of his bricks off the floor. "Eat my bricks!" shouted Bender as he threw his brick at Discord to hit him in the back of the head with it. "Ow! Oh, you cheeky bastard!" he shouted angrily while he narrowed his eyes at Bender. With a wave of his claw Discord levitated Bender high up into the ceiling and then slammed him back onto the floor. "Ow! Not even my bricks can kill him." "There is no hope!" shouted Fry. Leela had again gotten back up and jumped towards Discord with a flying kick, but Discord merely flicked his fingers, which created a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of the ship and everyone in it apart from Discord himself, whom floated in space. "This is going to be fun to watch." He rubbed his right hand over his face to magically regrow his tooth back and stop the bleeding, then conjured a packet of popcorn for himself to eat. *** The Planet Express ship was now floating just above an Earth like planet's atmosphere. On board the ship Bender carried Fry into the cockpit while Leela ran over to the driver seat to try take control of the ship. "Dammit! The engine is broken somehow." she shouted. "We're gonna crash!" shouted Fry. "Abandon ship!" shouted Bender as he threw Fry aside on the floor. "Ow!" "By the way." "Yes Bender?" said Leela. "I taken all the parachutes! Just in case if one broke." he shouted as he opened the airlock and jumped out into space. "Bender you bastard!" "How did we get here anyway?" "It doesn't matter Fry! The Professor is too cheap to buy us escape pods and Bender took all the parachutes." she shouted. Leela ran over to Fry to pick him up off the ground, then placed him on a seat and fasten his seat belt for him, before she ran back to her chair to fasten her own seat belt for herself. "It really is true. Our crew is replaceable. Your package isn't." "Yep." "And by the way in case we die, I love you." "I know. I love you too." she took hold of his hand with tears filling her eye. "Cheesy lame ass romantic last words like that from a crappy chick flick movie are the best." "Indeed." They kissed passionately goodbye together. *** Bender safely descended slowly into the planet's atmosphere with a yellow parachute while smoking a cigar, that somehow remained alight despite being so high in the air. The Planet Express Ship passed by Bender rapidly. "Holy brick crap! I think they're boned." *** Down deep in the middle of the Everfree Forest on a small grassy hill a young yellow Pegasus with pink hair known as Fluttershy was playing pat-a-cake with a large brown bear. "Patty cake, patty cake, baker's stallion. Bake me a--" Fluttershy saw a big fire ball like object falling from the sky heading rapidly towards them. "Run!" she shouted. Both her and the bear ran away as well as birds in the local area flew away. They narrowly avoided the Planet Express ship crash landing where they just were. The ship proceeded to slide down the ground creating a long deep trench as well as smashing down dozens of trees at it slid along down the hill before finally coming to a stop from hitting a large bolder. Fluttershy and the bear kept on running and didn't look back. The ship miraculously received very little damage from the impact with the ground and trees. Just a few broken windows and dents along the hall. *** Soon Bender arrived with his parachute conveniently landing right in front of the ship's crash site. "I bet they are dead." "Think again." said Leela's voice from behind. Bender turned around to meet a big black boot hitting him in the face before he blanked out beeping like R2-D2 into darkness. *** In a flashback we see Fry and Leela still kissing in the cockpit as they crash land onto the ground and somehow not die. "We survived Leela!" "Somehow we did." She pressed a button lowering the ships landing gear and stairs. "You stay here Fry, I'm gonna have a look around." "It's not like I have a choice, my legs and arms are broken." "Pity your mouth wasn't broken." With that Leela walked out of the cockpit, then made her way down the ship's steps to view the environment. "Hmm, this planet has plant like life that you would see on Earth." she thought. "I wonder if there's any Internet connection?" she looked at the device on her left wrist to show there was indeed no connection, as indicated by a flashing red light on the right top corner of the screen. "Nope. I think this is a primitive non intergalactic civilization world, that's assuming this planet even has a dominant sapient species." Leela walked over to a tree, then looked up to see Bender with his parachute descending down from the sky to land right in front of her with his back to her. "I bet they are dead." "Think again." Leela raised her right boot into the air to kick Bender right in the face just as he turned around, which knocked him over and made him beep like R2-D2 before blanking out. *** Fluttershy ran out of the Everfree Forest into her Cottage just outside the forest to get far away and safe at home from whatever the thing was that had fallen from the sky. Near by there was a medieval like town with thatched houses and beautiful gardens. Minus having a local gong farmer, (they weren't that medieval, they had bathrooms with toilets in their homes) a gallows, or a killer plague neither. Author's Note I've kinda hit writer's block in chapter two. Hope you enjoy this. PonyvilleFry (whom was being carried by Leela), Bender, Twilight Sparkle (whom levitated the gems and bottles of wine Bender had stolen from Rarity), Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Spike left behind the destruction that the Planet Express Ship made when it crash landed. Almost wordlessly they made their way out of the darkness of the Everfree Forest to head to the safety of Ponyville. Until Rarity's eyes suddenly widen with a look of panic on her face. "Opalescence!" she shouted. "Don't worry she's OK, I saw her in Ponyville when I flew back." said Rainbow Dash. "Oh." she said sounding relieved. "Are we there yet Leela?" said Fry. Leela sighed in annoyance. "Don't even start Fry." They bypassed the remains of the Timberwolves without a word, and then soon enough they found themselves in the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, where the lights of Ponyville could be seen. "My poor home." said Rarity with tears in her eyes seeing what's left of her home. While Fluttershy gave Rarity a hug Twilight had levitated Rarity's gems and wine over to her own non destroyed house, once the gems and wine where there she opened the door with magic, she then threw the gems into a corner on the floor, but gently placed the wine on a small wooden table near the stairs. Back outside Bender waved his arms in the air excitedly. "Hey, I remember this place! I robbed Rarity's house here!" "Well duh Bender!" shouted Rarity. "Hey! I gotta make room by deleting some memory for the porno I've backed up! Wouldn’t want it to get corrupted, seeing how I got so many viruses." "If it's deleted, how do you remember it?" said Leela. "Well I don't really delete them, I compressed the files to make room for my porno, which means old files can restore themselves when you see stuff you saw before or heard before, thus making me feel surprised every time--- "Are you small? Get genetic engineering done for a supersize!" said Bender as his voice suddenly changed to a robotic female voice. With his right hand Bender banged his chest. "Shut up virus!" he shouted. "Those ads make me feel so insecure." said Fry. "Don't worry Fry, I love you just the way you are." "That's because you have really low standards Leela." thought Bender to himself. Pinkie Pie glared at him angrily. "You're really mean Bender." she said. "Did she just read my thoughts?" thought Bender. "Nah, it couldn’t be." Pinkie Pie winked at him. "She did just read my thoughts." "I was right!" shouted an excited female voice. Then with a flash of light Lyra appeared before Fry and Leela. "I knew Humans existed!" "How do you know what they are?" said Twilight. "Honestly Twilight, have you ever read books about the mythology of Humans?" "Um no." "I can't blame her for not reading those books, for Humans suck!" said Bender. Lyra turned around to face Bender with fire in her eyes. "WHAT?!" she shouted "I want to kill all Humans!" Tears began to form in Lyra's eyes. "You … want ... to … kill … all … Humans?" "Yeah!" "I WON'T LET YOU!" she screamed in anger while her horn flowed with a green aura. Another green aura had surrounded Bender's body lifting him twenty feet into the air. "Let me go!" Bender shouted as he extended his arms toward Lyra to try hit her, however his arms were pushed back by a magical force which tangled them around his body in a mess. "Oh crap, I'm boned!" he screamed as Lyra slammed him down onto the ground causing everyone watching to flinch. "Ow!" she then lifted him back up. "Oh no! Not again!" he screamed as he was slammed back down onto the ground again. "Ow!" "Relax!" shouted Leela. Lyra held Bender in mid air just when she was about to slam him onto the ground again with his body only an inch off the ground. "Yeah, Bender's harmless." said Fry. "Yes, I'm harmless! Just let me go!" he shouted. Both of the green auras around Lyra's horn and Bender's body faded away, and since Bender was only an inch off the ground he landed lightly. Bender's arms detached themselves out from their sockets, followed by self untangling themselves, then stuck them themselves back into Bender's sockets, and then Bender stood back up. "So are you good Humans who will help us get an intergalactic civilization, or evil Humans that will enslave us, make glue out from us and eat us?" "Uh, good Humans." said Fry. "Good! I was wondering if we could make a hybrid species of a Pony and a Human, or perhaps a centaur?" "Hey! Fry's my man!" shouted Leela. "Aww!" she said sadly. "Can you share him?" "No!" Lyra ears lowered as sadness swept across her face with some tears forming in her eyes. "Oh... okay then." she said in a low voice. Lyra sadden that she was rejected walked away looking down at the ground. As Lyra walked away she thought to herself. "I was a little too forward. Oh, I do dislike that Humans are mostly monogamous. But at any rate, I should have come up with a better pickup line than that. But at least I have my dear Bon Bon." With Lyra gone they made their way over to the remains of Rarity's home, where a large crowd of Ponies talked among themselves in hushed tones while some stared at; Fry, Leela and Bender. "What the hell are you looking at?!" shouted Bender waving his right fist at them threateningly. The crowd of Ponies ran off into their homes. "Watch yourself Bender." said Twilight with her eyes narrowed while she threateningly flowed a purple aura around her horn. "OK OK!" he shouted. Twilight lifted the Planet Express Ship into the air with levitation, then span it upright in mid air, followed by gently placing it next to Rarity's house. "Well whaddya know, I could have levitated it." "So you wrecked my home for nothing?!" shouted Rarity. "I'm sorry!" "I won't forgive you unless you pay for the damage." "I will!" Rarity hugged Twilight, followed by giving her a reassuring pat on the back. "Good, then I forgive you." "I want a hug now!" shouted Bender. Pinkie Pie jumped into Bender's arms to give him a hug, which Bender strangely enough returned and also rubbed his left hand through her mane. "You're not all that bad are you Bender?" said Pinkie Pie staring into his eyes. "I don't want a hug now!" Despite not wanting a hug anymore Bender had gently placed Pinkie Pie back down on the ground. "He must be trying to hide his sensitive side with his masculinity." thought Pinkie Pie to herself. "Is there any weapons on that ship we should be worried about?" said Twilight. "No, the ship's weapons are seemingly all broken." "Oh." Leela placed Fry down at the foot of the ship's steps. "Bender, open your chest cabinet." said Leela. "Why?" "I'm confiscating your chain saw." "Hey, it's my chain saw!" "What you have is a potentially dangerous weapon." "Weapon?!" shouted the Mane six and Spike. "Alright fine, I'll hand it over." Bender opened his chest cabinet and handed Leela the chain saw. Leela took her wrist thingy off, then gestured for Twilight to take both her wrist thingy and chain saw. So Twilight took them both with levitation magic. "Keep them safe, and for all that is good do not mess with them." "But the device that was on your wrist looks harmless?" "It can fire a laser beam capable of both burning and generally destroy flesh." Fluttershy's eyes widen from picturing a horrible mental image of poor animals being killed with such a weapon, thus caused her to vomit profusely on the ground "Why would you have such a cruel weapon?" shouted Fluttershy. "I take it your a bunch of peace loving environmental hippies!" shouted Bender. Fluttershy flew towards Bender's face to give him The Stare making Bender nervous. "And what are Humans like robot? Are they a warlike race of savages?" "Uh, not so much any more. Mostly because the Omicronians are by far the most feared alien race in the entire universe." "Why are they feared?" "Their military might is vastly superior than any race in the universe." "If that's true, have they taken over the universe?" "No, but I think they very well could if they wanted to. Luckily they keep to themselves most of the time, leaving all the other races, including robots like myself scared shitless of their next crazy demands." "Oh." "They've also been known to destroy entire planets over the most ridiculous of things." Spike and the Mane Six gasped in horror. "Why?" "Like one of Lrrr's favorite TV shows from a thousands years ago being canceled." "That's insane. Destroying an entire planet over one of his favorite type of shows that you call a “TV Show” being canceled?" "Yep." "Insane!" she shouted. "Yeah Fluttershy, even I can see why the Omicronians are feared." said Rainbow Dash. "Look, it's been a tiring day. We'll talk more tomorrow. Goodnight." said Leela." All the Mane Six in general waved at them and said goodnight. "Goodnight!" said Spike. Leela picked Fry back up, then carried him up the ship's steps. "I need to go toilet Leela." he said in a low voice. "OK." Bender went inside the ship shortly after Leela . *** Everypony went home to go to bed, and since Rarity's home was destroyed herself and Sweetie Belle stayed at Twilight's home for the night. Twilight hid the weapons Leela gave her behind an invisible small transparent area on the wall in her bedroom, she then had Spike send a letter to Celestia detailing the events of tonight. Celestia responded quickly to say she would visit Ponyville tomorrow morning to see them, she also told Twilight she has sent a small legion of the Royal Guard just in case if these Aliens were to turn hostile, so that they could quickly deal with them. With that over with Twilight went off to bed along with Spike in the basket near her bed. Spike never have slept in the spare room Rarity and Sweetie Belle were in, because he would get scared sleeping on his own, so thus found it hard to sleep if he was in a room all by himself. *** In no time at all several dozen Pegasus Royal Guards armed with longswords, (that they some how held with their hooves, (despite not having any fingers.) that wore Roman Legionary like armor had stationed themselves around the Planet Express Ship to keep a watch over it. In Leela's cabin Fry was fast sleep in bed next to Leela, while Leela herself was still wearing her tank top and wide awake thinking. "Well this planet's germs haven't killed us yet that's a good sign. Since the natives appear to be sapient horses they might have food that me and Fry could eat, I hope it's not just grass. We could possibly have the the ship powerd by pony magic. But where would we go? This is clearly not are own universe. We may have to spend our entire lives here." Leela closed her eye to try sleep, for all of them had one crazy night. In the crew's quarters Bender lying on a hammock and was snoring loudly with a porno magazine held in his arms.
GroundedFry, Leela and Bender were now lost on a strange primitive planet in the middle of a forest on some god forsaken sector within the universe. And Bender was unconscious on the ground with a boot mark on his face just outside the crash site of the Planet Express Ship. Leela meanwhile made her way back up the steps of the ship after kicking Bender in the face. "I love my brick!" shouted Bender in his sleep. In the cockpit crippled Fry was muttering to himself and groaning in pain. "Uhhhh! This sucks, I can't move and Leela's probably gonna have to baby feed me!" Back outside Leela was carrying a bag of cement powder down the ships steps, that she left next to the boulder the ship hit into. "Alright, I can use Bender's bricks to make a wall to help protect us from potentially dangerous animals, in addition to the weapons we have and the ship's laser turret. We'll have to take turns using the turret while we sleep. We also have enough beer to last Bender a few days, or minutes if he doesn't drink them sparingly, and we have enough food and water to last me and Fry for about a week." she thought. And so Leela started mixing the cement with the ship's toilet water using a wooden bucket, and then begun building a wall near the steps of the ship. Hours later late at night Leela had started a campfire just outside the ship and had already built the wall only leaving a narrow gap for them to walk in and out from in front of the steps. There wasn't any instances to interrupt her while she built the wall, however when she was just about finished late at night a bear approached curiously. Leela fired a warning shot of a thick red laser beam from the device on her wrist setting the ground on fire right in front of the bear's paws. The bear leaped backwards away in fear from where the laser hit the ground, whom took hint that she did not want him anywhere near her. The bear submissively walked slowly away with it's body down low and it's paws in the air as if it was saying "I surrender! Don't shoot." Over in a bush two Timberwolves watched the fire on the ground where the laser hit. Both of them exchanged nervous looks then ran away. Perhaps their bodies being made out from wood and the fact that strange creature was able to blast fire out from that thing on it's wrist scared them. Inside the cockpit Fry was now asleep snoring loudly in the chair. Outside Leela was sat on the ship's steps eating a red apple. "I wonder if they are already replacing us?" *** In what would appear to be a lounge a red humanoid lobster alien, that wore doctor's clothes sat in the middle of a yellow couch watching the news, which was being presented by a green big headed alien named Morbo and a blonde Human female called Linda. "Thankfully, the amazing talking Pony was rescued and safely returned to the meat department." said Morbo as a picture was shown of a brown, ordinary Pony. However the Pony looked distressed and looked like it was in a great deal of pain while it was in a forest, for it's right front hoof was caught in a bear trap. Zoidberg gasped in horror, then changed the channel with the remote to show the opening of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. "I do love these classic shows from the Stupid Ages." he suddenly started to wail loudly in his grief while covering his face with his claws. "Why can't I live in Equestria?!" he shouted. "If I did, then I could have friends." A very, very old bald headed man with very thick glasses, whom also wore a lab coat, lime green pants and light blue slippers walked into the room. "Why are you crying Zoidberg?" "Because I want to live in Equestria!" "Oh boohoo! Don't be such a crybaby." He sat down on the couch next to Zoidberg. "Are they back yet Professor?" "No Zoidberg, I think they are dead. So we'll need to replace them." "Oh." *** Back at the Planet Express Ship's crash site, Bender was now stirring, followed shortly by his eyes opening. "Uhhh! Did you have to kick me Leela?" he said as he groaned in pain while he rubbed his face. "Sorry, I was just a little angry that..." she now started shouting "YOU TOOK ALL THE PARACHUTES LEAVING US TO DIE!" "But you didn't die." he said as he stood up to lean against the boulder. "But we should have died Bender, I don't think there's any possible way we could have survived from a fall that high." "How did we get here anyway?" "I don't know Bender. All I remember is a flash and then us crash landing. It's like as if someone teleported us here." "Yeah, we were entering the Milky Way Galaxy and then suddenly we ended up here." "You know Bender, it kinda like as if an invisible vortex randomly opened next to us and sucked us into it. I mean how stupid is that?" "I dunno Leela, we went on a lot of crazy adventures before. Like that time we went back in time to Roswell, where Fry killed his own grandpa by accident, then accidentally had sex with his own grandma and became his own grandpa and-- "Let's not talk about that!" "The point I'm trying to make is last year we were jumping in and out of boxes that contained entire universes, so I'm willing to believe anything at this point." "Hmm, good point. But would you believe the moon is made out of cheese?" "In a bizarre parallel universe somewhere in the Multiverse, yes I would believe the moon is made out of cheese." "So anything is possible?" "Yes anything. Like in one parallel universe I am a toast and sandwich maker with attitude, and in another I am a magical and all powerful evil unicorn with horns, that can fire laser beams from his eyes and has enslaved an entire world of sapient Ponies and forces them to slave work to their deaths to make statues of me everywhere." "Both of those sound like stupid universes to me." "Yeah, this conversation is getting too stupid and nerdy for my liking." he takes a brown bottle of beer out from his chest cabinet. "I'm gonna go exploring a little." "OK, be careful." Leela went up the ship's stairs, then pressed a red button on the wall, which drew the stairs back up in order to stop anything from going up them to eat them. Bender started gulping down his beer as he walked through the small gap in the wall. "If Bender was a giant. Would that mean he would crap giant bricks to throw at buildings to smash them? Hah, he could also make very big walls out from his bricks." *** Onward Bender went leaving the crash site to explore the forest thinking aloud. "When are we gonan get that ship fixed! " he threw his bottle of beer over his shoulder smashing it. "I want Internet to watch porn! I know I have one terabyte of porno stored in my memory, but that will only last me a couple of days, after that I'll get bored with the porn I have. So what am I supposed to have sex with here, huh? Some sapient native alien? I could have sex with Leela. Though, I don't think Fry would like that very much, nor do I think Leela likes me very much. Oh, this planet sucks!" Suddenly a Timberwolf jumps on Bender knocking him over, but unfortunately for the wolf Bender had soon burped a large column of flame setting alight the Timberwolf's wooden body. The Timberwolf cried in agony while it ran away. "Burn bitch!" Bender stood up to see he was surrounded by Timberwolves. "Bring it on!" he shouted as he pulled a chain saw out from his chest cabinet, which he then proceeded to pull the starter rope to turn it on with a roar. The Timberwolves charged at Bender... to have their heads, legs, or bodies sliced in half to spread bits of wood, sawdust and splinters everywhere as Bender slashed his chain saw wildly about cutting the Timberwolves's wooden bodies with ease. It wasn't long till the few remaining six Timberwolves began to hesitate approaching Bender after seeing him slaughter about a dozen of their fellow pack members. "Do you want more?!" he shouted as he charged at the Timberwolves swinging his chain saw wildly. The Timberwolves ran away crying in fear. "Hah!" He turned off his chain saw and placed it back inside his chest cabinet. *** Back on board the ship Leela was sleeping in her cabin in bed with Fry also fast asleep next to her. *** Bender had now reached the forest's edge to look upon Ponyville. "Hmm, I think I might need to make some room." Bender opened his chest cabinet and started dumping piles of porno magazines on the ground as well as taking out the cloned head of Adolf Hitler in a jar, which he threw over his shoulder smashing it against a tree. "Ich dachte, wir wären Freunde!" shouted Adolf Hitler in German. "Du waren nicht viel helfen, um alle Menschen zu töten!" Bender said also in German while angrily pointing his finger at him with his eyes narrowed. Shortly after Bender left a Timberwolf came by to bite Hitler, whom dragged him away carrying him deep into the forest to eat somewhere safer. So Bender sneaked around the town avoiding a few strange, colorful, pastel, talking Ponies walking around? Funny these "Ponies" seemed to leave their doors unlocked, but unfortunately for Bender as he sneaked into house after house he found nothing of real value. At one point he went into a tree house, but all he found in there was lots of boring books. There wasn't even any porno magazines or just even erotic novels. But then again, Bender thought would he even want porno magazines and erotic novels made from these Ponies? So just when Bender was about to leave this disappointing town with little valuable loot, he decided to check one last house. When Bender opened the door he gasped in joy as he saw gems in... Rarity's house. "Holy brick! I've hit the jackpot." Bender took a sack out from his chest cabinet and started taking everything of value. He carelessly tore off all the gems from the dresses and looted all the chests filled with gems stuffing the sack with it all. He filled his sack with so much gems they started to fall out from it, so he decided to just stuff the rest into his chest cabinet. He also took lots of fancy wine bottles that he found in a press in the kitchen. However when he was just done with taking all the wine out from the press Rarity's cat Opalescence hissed at him from behind. "Ooh a cat!" he extended his arm grabbing Opalescence by the neck making her scream, then he threw her into his chest cabinet. Opalescence could be heard growling inside Bender's chest cabinet. Satisfied with the stuff he's taken, Bender left Rarity's house carrying the sack of gems over his shoulder to make his way back into the forest, but not before dropping a pile of bricks on Rarity's carpet just as he walked out the front door. Soon after Bender left the unicorn Rarity walked down the stairs to investigate what all the noise was about. She then screamed to the high Heavens, from seeing a pile of bricks at the door, all the gems taken and dresses torn. The rainbow Pegasus known as Rainbow Dash flew through the front door. "What happened Rarity?!" "I've been robbed!" she yelled. *** Bender was now walking past the place where he slaughtered all those Timberwolves. He looked happier than usual with all the gems he had taken. *** Pinkie Pie was sniffing the ground following a scent while; Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike followed her. "This Pony smells like stale alcohol and Tabaco." "A fitting smell for a Thief." said Rarity with gritted teeth. "Um, should we like report this to the Royal Guard and just go home?" said Fluttershy. "Nah! I think we'll find em." said Applejack." "I agree. We'll find this thief and whoop his ass!" said Spike. "We sure will Spike." said Rarity with a nasty grin. "Hey, I think I see something." shouted Rainbow Dash as she flew off ahead to find the pile of porno magazines Bender left behind. She picked up one and started flipping through it. "I think it's some kind of weird porno magazine." she said as she looked at pages of naked Human women doing nasty things. "Rainbow Dash, just leave it there. We'll come back and look at it after." said Twilight Sparkle. Just when they left Lyra Heartstrings, whom was apparently following them came by and took all the porno magazines, then ran off laughing maniacally. The Mane Six and Spike gasped in horror as they arrived at the place where Bender had slaughtered the Timberwolves. "It chopped them Timberwolves to pieces." said Applejack in shock with her jaw dropped. "I think we should turn back now." said Fluttershy shaking with fear. "Ah, come on!" shouted Rainbow Dash flying a little off a head. The rest of them didn’t move. "Fine, I'll go myself." "I'll come with you Dashie!" shouted Applejack. "We'll all come!" said Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy sighed. "I hope we don't die." *** Bender had now arrived back at the ship's crash site. "Yo Leela, I'm home." he shouted. Bender tapped his right footcup impatiently. It wasn't long till Leela answered by lowering the stairs. "Finally!" Just as he was about to walk up the stairs Leela questioned him. "Bender, where did you get all that stuff?" she asked curiously while she narrowed her eye at him making him nervous. Hidden in a near by bush were the Mane Six and Spike listening to them. "This is amazing! They are Aliens, yet they can speak English!" said Twilight in awe. "Also thieves." said Rarity angrily while she narrowed her eyes at Bender and Leela. "And the grey one is a robot!" said Pinkie Pie. "Could they hear us?" said Fluttershy. "Don't worry, I cast a noise mute spell." Back at Leela and Bender. "Well Bender?" she said as she walked down the steps. "Uhh, I found it at some town outside this forest." "Can you stop being a kleptomaniac for once?!" she shouted with her arms in the air in exasperation. "No!" Back at the bush. "Well, at least one seems civilized." said Rarity in a more up tone manner than earlier. Back at Leela and Bender. "Do you realize that you may have caused a political shitstorm among the natives of this planet?" "Also I found this cat!" he said as he took Opalescence out from his chest cabinet, which caused the Mane Six and Spike to gasp in horror in the bush and clearly showed Bender was not listening to Leela. "Sweet zombie Jesus! Let that cat go!" she shouted. "Fine!" he dropped Opalescence, whom immediately ran away into the bush along with the rest of the Mane Six and Spike. "I was gonna make a nice Bender Burger out from that cat." Back at the bush. "What's a Bender Burger?" said Spike. "I think it's some kind of food of theirs." said Twilight. "You mean he was gonna cook and eat my cat?" "Yep!" She gasped in horror. Back at Leela and Bender. "Bender do you realize--- Wait! Cats? Are the natives Human?" "No, they are Ponies. Could make good eating." In the bush the Mane Six and Spike gasped in horror. "Bender! It is forbidden by intergalactic law to eat sapient species." she shouted. They then sighed in relief. "Intergalactic Law? Hah, screw intergalactic law! I say we should burn the whole town down and kill everyone in it and then eat them!" Back at the bush the Mane Six and Spike looked terrified. "They'll destroy us all!" shouted Pinkie Pie with her front hooves waving wildly in the air. Leela kicked Bender in the face knocking him over, which caused him to drop his sack, thus spilling the stolen gems everywhere. "They are not for eating!" Leela shouted with gritted teeth. The Mane Six and Spike sighed in relief. "OK OK, Leela! Quit with this kicking me in the face as of late!" "You deserved it." Bender stood back up. "Why would you eat anything anyway? You're a robot, so you don't need to eat anything." "I can taste stuff, so I like to eat food." "Right. Are you sure the natives are Ponies?" "Yes." "That's ... odd. At any rate you must return those gems back to it's rightful-- Suddenly the Mane Six and Spike came out from the bush. "Aww, they are so cute!" shouted Leela. "Did you follow me?!" "Yes!" Rarity shouted while she ran towards Bender glaring at him angrily. "Because you stole my gems, tore my dresses and left a pile of bricks on my carpet!" "And?" "And took my cat!" "Not to mention planning on cooking the cat." said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of Bender's chest cabinet holding a porno magazine and caused the gems to fall out from his chest cabinet. "What the?!" he shouted. "Hey I found another one of those cool magazines!" "How did you get in there?" he then shouted "Get out!" he grabbed Pinkie Pie and threw her out of his chest into the bush and then closed his chest cabinet afterwards. No sooner had he had done that Pinkie Pie had again stuck her head out from his chest cabinet. "It's not possible!" "How are you doing that Pinkie Pie?" said Applejack. "Magic?" said Leela. "Get out!" he shouted. Bender threw Pinkie Pie out again into the bush and closed his chest, but again Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "This is fun!" she shouted. Bender threw Pinkie Pie out yet again into the bush and closed his chest, but yet again Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "Can you please get out of my chest?" Leela gasped. "Yes! I said please!" "OK." Pinkie Pie jumped out from his chest. "Thanks." he said while slamming his chest cabinet closed. Rainbow Dash flew towards Leela. "What's with the eye?" Leela sighed while she covered her face with her right hand. "Why does everyone I ever meet ask me that question?" "I'm just asking." "I'm an Alien alright!" "An Alien of an Alien?" said Pinkie Pie curiously. "Yeah." "She's actually a mutant." "God dammit Bender!" she shouted. "What? It's true Leela." "Thanks for being honest Bender." said Applejack. Twilight Sparkle walked towards Bender with her eyes narrowed. "I'm going to have to tell my big brother to have the Royal Guard keep a close eye on you, due to your threat of killing us all." "Fine, whatever." "Also you'll have to return everything you've stolen." "Dammit!" "Also can I open you up and study your parts?" "No!" "But this is for scientific research." "You can take your scientific research and shove it up your ass!" Twilight now turned to look at Leela. "Don't even think about it!" she said angrily while her eye was narrowed to a slit. "You’re lucky, I'm not gonna press charges Bender. This time." said Rarity. "Yeah, you're right there unicorn." he said while he lit himself up a cigar, using his left hand's middle finger as a lighter. "So what's you're names?" asked Leela. "I'm Rainbow Dash." she then began pointing her right hoof at her friends and saying their names. "That's Twilight Sparkle, that's Applejack, that's Fluttershy, that's Rarity, that's Spike, and that's Pink.... Where's Pinkie Pie?" *** Fry still asleep felt something soft poke his nose. "Uhh, Leela. My bones are broken, I can't have sex now." "I'm not Leela silly!" said an energetic voice. Fry opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a pink face of some sort of pony like creature with a huge pair of blue eyes staring at him. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!" Fry stared at Pinkie Pie blankly in complete bewilderment. "Man, am I on drugs again?" "Maybe. What's your name?" "I'm Fry." "Will you be my friend?" "Sure!" "Yay! I'll go tell the others." She leaped out of sight off Fry whom was lying on a bed. Back outside Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of Bender's chest cabinet. "I thought we agreed that you would not go inside my chest?!" Pinkie Pie jumped out of his chest. "Sorry, I needed to use it." "Needed to use it? You didn't pee in there did you?" "No, of course not. Anyway, I made a new friend, he's called Fry!" *** Discord while eating popcorn in space watched Leela and Bender on a plasma TV, both seemingly got along well with the Ponies in conversation and laughter outside the Planet Express Ship's crash site. "Well, that wasn't as fun as I expected." he said sounding disappointed. "Perhaps, I should mix it up a little? By throwing in a few others. Or not, maybe." He laughed maniacally rubbing his hands together while grinning madly.
Ponies Ponies First contact went rather well for the Ponies, the aliens known as Fry, Leela and Bender were quite possibly not the harbingers of doom for the Ponies. Although unbeknownst to the Ponies and the aliens, there was another hidden force at work, which was the reason Fry, Leela and Bender came here in the first place. The hidden force was of course Discord, whom was no longer bound to his statue and has quite possibly become more powerful than ever. However Discord acted strangely subtle this time with his chaos creating powers. For the Draconequus merely just secretly watched as the events he set in motion unfold and didn't do anything too crazy or.... or maybe not? One can't really tell what could happen when it comes to Discord. *** In the Everfree Forest at the Planet Express Ship’s crash site Leela and Bender stood outside their ship before these strange sapient Ponies and a small purple dragon. "Twilight?" said Leela. "Yes?" "I was wondering if--- "What's with the pictures on your asses?" asked Bender interrupting Leela. Rainbow Dash smiled broadly as she flew towards Bender. "Allow me to tell the story how I discovered my talent and got my cutie ma--- "No thanks!" "Hmph!" She crossed her hooves, then turned away from Bender to fly back over to her friends. "Fine then, I won't tell you how I got my cutie mark!" "Good!" With that over with Leela decided to ask Twilight. "So anyway Twilight I was wondering if--- "Why are you wearing clothes Leela?" said Pinkie Pie curiously. "And why do you have such a poor sense of fashion?!" shouted Rarity. "This is just my casual clothes Rarity." she turned to Pinkie Pie. "And Pinkie it is considered taboo to be naked in public in our society. In fact you'll be arrested for indecent exposure if your found naked in public." "That's a darn stupid law! Y'all all body shy or something?" said Applejack. "I think most of us are yes." "But Bender is naked?" said Pinkie Pie. "No I'm not! I'm covering my parts." "Oh." "Twilight, I presume your civilization is non Spacefaring?" said Leela. "Unfortunately yes." "Right, so I can assume you won't have any real idea in how to fix our ship's engine or anything?" "Probably not." "Do you have any Dark Matter on this planet?" "I'm not sure." said Twilight. "Why do we need dark matter? Don't we have more than enough already?" said Bender. "For some strange reason the ship ran out of Dark Matter very quickly." "Ah for fuck's sake!" "I should have brought Nibbler." "Yes, his shit is useful unlike yours!" "We may need to find an alternative fuel for the ship." "Like magic?" said Twilight. "Magic?" then Bender shouted. "Did you say magic?!" "Um, yes." she said nervously. Bender roared in anger while he extended his arms to grab a fallen tree, followed by retracting his arms back to hold the tree over his head, then bent it, thus snapping it in half. "Whoa, you're strong." said Rainbow Dash. "This doesn't make sense!" Bender shouted. "Magic, talking ponies, purple dragon, getting amnesia at the edge of the Milky Way? The only logical explanation is that some kind of wizard gave us amnesia and sent us here into this parallel universe!" "You call that logical?" said Twilight. "You're one to talk! You're a fucking unicorn!" "And you're a foul mouthed sentient machine!" "That is powered by the power of beer!" he said while waving his right fist in the air. "Now that's illogical!" "No, it's not! Did you know that V-Two Rockets were powered by alcohol?" "I don't even know what a V-Two Rocket is." "Bender?!" shouted Leela. "Yes?" "What makes you think this is a parallel universe?" said Leela. "Think about it Leela; unicorns, pegasi, and just freaking talking ponies! Where would you find talking Ponies in the universe? "Maybe everything we come up with our imaginations actually creates parallel universes?" said Pinkie Pie while she rubbed her chin thoughtfully with her right hoof. "So in a sense were all kinda Gods?" said Leela. "Yep." "Dammit to fucking Robot Hell and back" shouted Bender. "If everything we come up with in our imaginations does in fact create another parallel universe, that means in some parallel universe me Bender has come to a parallel universe like this, under similar circumstances, in order to have a big fucking orgy with you six Ponies!" Everyone just stared at Bender wide eyed not knowing how to respond to that. Until Rarity stepped forward to glare at him angrily while she pointed her right hoof at him. "Are you always this vulgar?!" shouted Rarity. "Yes." "I hate to admit it, but you're right Bender." said Leela. "Yeah, I bet Pinkie Pie in some weird parallel universe is a serial killer and a cannibal!" "What kind of sick person's imagination would make a universe where I'm like that?" "The same kind of person who would come up with a silly kind of apocalypse, which consists of giant flying Cheeseburgers, that fire laser beams to destroy all civilization and wipe out all life." "That's just stupid." said Leela. "It's the Multiverse, so you might as well throw logic out the window. And I personally think, this is by far the most stupid and girly looking universe I've ever been too!" "Hey!" shouted Rainbow Dash angrily. "Our universe is not stupid and girly, yours is!" "No!" Bender poked her in the muzzle with his right hand." Yours is!" Rainbow Dash shoved Bender back. "Nu-uh! Yours is stupid and girly!" Bender pushed his forehead against hers, both narrowed their eyes angrily at one another. "Yours is!" "Yours is!" "Yours is!" Over the next five minutes Bender and Rainbow Dash kept arguing while the rest stared at them in disbelief. "No! Yours is!" said Bender. "No! Yours is!" "Stop it!" shouted Fluttershy. "This is pointless!" "But he said--" "You should be more mature Rainbow Dash. Now shake hooves and make up." For some reason or another both Bender and Rainbow Dash did shake hooves ... or hands and hooves in this case, however their eyes did glare at one another angrily while they did it. "Do you have some sort of place where we could stay for awhile just until we fix our ship?" said Leela. "Sure, there's plenty of room in Ponyville for you to stay." said Pinkie Pie. "Pft Ponyville, seriously? Hahaha! What a stupid name!" said Bender. "You're not nice!" shouted Pinkie Pie. "Well I'm Bender so--" "Bender, shut up before I kick you in the face again!" shouted Leela. "OK." said Bender fearfully. Suddenly there was a rustling sound, followed by Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle emerging out from a bush behind them. "Aww! She's so cute!" said Leela. "Sweetie Belle! What are you doing out here?! The Everfree Forest is dangerous!" shouted Rarity. "I followed you." "What were you doing in that bush?" "Eavesdropping!" "What did I tell you about eavesdropping?!" "Sorry." "Would there be any way you could take our ship to Ponyville?" "Hmm, maybe Leela." said Twilight thoughtfully while rubbing her left hoof on her chin. "I imagine it would be far too heavy for me to levitate with magic, but I could try teleporting it?" "Hold up! Before you try that, let me get Fry." Leela walked up the ships steps, through the cargo bay making her way into her cabin, where Fry was fast asleep. "Fry, you awake?" "I am now." Leela walked over to the bed, then picked Fry up. She carried him in her arms like a baby as she made her way back outside. "Hey why does this one have such small eyes?" Fry looked up to see where the voice was coming from... only to see a light blue pony (Rainbow Dash) with a rainbow mane flying above. "......." he looked at Leela. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" Leela shook her head side to side. "OK." "Why are you carrying him Leela?" said Rarity. "Because his bones are broken." said Pinkie Pie. "Oh my!" "Don't worry, she gave him a bone regeneration shot, so his bones will be all fixed back up in a few days." "How would she know that?" thought Leela to herself. "Twilight, can you teleport the ship now?" said Spike. Twilight gulped out of nervousness, then walked over to the ship's stairs. "I've never attempted to teleport something so large." . "That's what she said! Wooooo!" shouted Bender. Leela glared at him angrily narrowing her eye to a slit, which caused Bender to make a nervous whimpering sound. "OK here goes!" Twilight took a deep breath. A purple aura projected out from her horn, another purple aura also surrounded the Planet Express ship. Soon a bright light lit up on the tip of her horn as sweat began to pour down her face while she groaned in stress, all the while at the same time her friends cheered her on. "You can do it Twilight!" shouted Spike. With a blinding flash of light the Planet Express Ship disappeared. "Wow! Magic!" shouted Fry. Opalescence was almost home when all of a sudden she saw a blinding flash of light in the sky, followed by the appearance of the Planet Express Ship upside down above Ponyville, which then fell on Rarity's house destroying it, leaving behind nothing but piles of rubble. The Planet Express Ship created a very loud crashing sound as it destroyed Rarity's house, which could even be heard all the way from the Everfree Forest. "Well, that certainly doesn't sound very good!" said Rarity. "Oh no! What have I done?!" she shouted. "Twilight! You did it by accident right?" said Spike. "Of course!" she shouted. "Oh, I hope nopony was killed." said Fluttershy. "I'll go check it out!" shouted Rainbow Dash as she flew away. In no time at all Rainbow Dash was back in Ponyville, to see a large crowd of it's Pony residents talking among each other while they were gathered around the remains of Rarity's house. The Planet Express Ship was lying upside down on a pile of rubber of what used to be Rarity's living room. "Luckily Sweetie Belle followed us." Rainbow Dash flew back to the others, to land in front of Rarity looking nervous. "What happened?" "Uhhh, I'm not sure if I should-- "Come on! Tell me." "The ship ... well … the ship kinda … fell on your house." "WHAT?!" she shouted. Twilight's horn flashed with light quickly creating a purple force field around her body to protect herself from Rarity's wrath. "I'm sorry Rarity!" she shouted. "Oh it's quite alright Twilight, it was an accident." "Phew!" she shutdown her force field, then wiped the sweat off her forehead. "I'll have my house rebuilt... again." "You're taking this surprisingly well." "Well, I've learned to be a little less dramatic. Seeing as how Ponyville has been trashed a good few time these last few months you've been here." "Hey yeah!" shouted Pinkie Pie. "Things have been crazier than normal around here ever since Twilight moved---- "Ah for fuck's sake!" shouted Bender interrupting her. "We've been standing here for far too long talking about bullshit! Come on already! I wanna see this place!" With that they all went on their way to Ponyville. "Talk about overly dragged out sentences and conversations." thought Bender to himself.
Two Meatbags And A Robot In PonyvilleTwo Meatbags And A Robot In Ponyville All of Fluttershy's friends slept well, of course Fluttershy herself couldn’t sleep as she lay wide awake under the covers of her bed over the fact that these Humans had canine teeth, which meant they ate meat. She soon relaxed a bit remembering Leela saying "It is forbidden by intergalactic law to eat sapient species." and since that these Humans are sapient just like Griffons, whom were omnivores as well and that also had the same laws about eating sapient species. Sure, Griffons have been even known to marry other non predator sapient species like Ponies out of love, even if they can't biologically have children together through love making, which wouldn’t matter anyway as long as they both love one another. She assumed Humans farmed domesticated animals for meat just like Griffons, whom did it on a small scale, but mostly Griffons liked to hunt animals. She did fear however since these Humans have an intergalactic civilization, so they must farm animals on a far wider scale than Griffons have been known to. That said she thought Humans were angels when compared to the race Bender told her about: The Omicronians. Now they were truly a race of warlike savages, yet despite being warlike savages they had by far the most strongest military in their universe, which made them even more scary. I mean what race blows up an entire planet over a show they like being canceled? That said, surely not all Omicronians are evil. For perhaps there are some kind Omicronians that do not agree what their leader Lrrr tells them to do. Well, at least they keep all the other races from fighting one another by living in fear under the Omicronians' shadow. So in a strange, but not in a very nice way the Omicronians bring harmony to their universe. She knows this because Pinkie Pie somehow knew (despite not being told by Fry, Leela or Bender) that there's an organization known as the DOOP, which intends to unite all the races in the universe in peace. However she did say that even the DOOP won't even help you if you're planet is attacked by the Omicronians. The last thing the DOOP wants is a war with the Omicronians, which they would lose badly along with many planets being destroyed. With Fluttershy's worries laid to rest she finally had closed her eyes and succumbed to sleep. *** Meanwhile back in Fry, Leela and Bender's own universe the Omicronian leader Lrrr was sitting on a couch next to his wife Ndnd in a living room watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on TV. On screen it showed Previously on My Little Pony. "Elements of Harmony, see: Mare in the Moon?" said Twilight Sparkle on TV. "But that's just an old ponies' tale." said Spike also on TV. "This show is amazing! If the Humans dare cancel this show I will destroy Earth!" shouted Lrrr. "I know, now shh! We must find out if Twilight Sparkle makes friends and if she defeats Nightmare Moon." said his wife Ndnd. "Indeed." *** In a less crazy place in the universe, deep in the sewers of New New York, within the town of mutants Leela's mutant parents Morris and Munda were sitting on a couch in their living room holding one another tightly with teary eyes while they looked through a photo album of their only daughter Leela. "We'll never see her again." said Morris. "We should have convinced her to leave Planet Express sooner." "Yes Munda, we should have." Up in New New York City in a filthy trash filled alleyway Zoidberg was rummaging through a dumpster eating garbage. "Mmm, delicious! Sure you don't want any Nibbler?" Across from the alleyway Nibbler the Nibblonian was sat against a wall looking depressed. "No Zoidberg, with The Mighty One and The Other dead there's no point, we are doomed." he said in his deep voice. "Nibbler, did you just talk?" Nibbler flashed his third eye making Zoidberg forget that he just talked. "Huh?" Zoidberg shrugged his shoulders then went back to eating the garbage within the dumpster. *** Back in Ponyville the Royal Guard were taking shifts watching the Planet Express Ship through the night, to protect the residents of Ponyville just in case Fry, Leela and Bender were suddenly to turn hostile. "Everything is going as planned." said Discord's voice that nobody heard. Surprisingly, nothing crazy or unexpected happened during the night. It was now morning and the sun's rays shined through the window of Leela's bedroom waking Leela herself up, Fry however still remained fast asleep. Leela was unusually lazy last night, due to not bothering to undress. So she merely put on her boots next to her bed, then made her way to the kitchen to meet Bender, whom was drinking out of a bottle of beer while leaning against the refrigerator. "So tell me, when did you start letting Fry shoot his DNA at you?" he said with a nasty grin. "Fry's bones are broken." "Well then, when did you start letting Fry sleep with you?" "When we were crash landing yesterday he confessed his love for me." "Oh. Why didn't you let him shoot his DNA at you after the opera and the whole Robot Devil ordeal last month?" "Enough with these questions!" she said angrily. "Fine, be that way!" he shouted. Bender stormed out of the room muttering angrily to himself. With Bender gone Leela made herself and Fry breakfast, which was porridge and Greek yogurt in two white bowls. Of course Leela had to carry Fry into the kitchen in order for him to have his breakfast, after all she didn't want him to spill Greek yogurt on her bed by mistake. Once they had breakfast Leela and Fry had a shower, brushed their teeth, a change of clothes (a copy of the exact same clothes) and did all other morning things you should do. Outside Bender walked up to a Royal Guard who blankly stared at him. "What are you looking at?!" the guard didn't say anything back he just stared. "Ah I see, you're like one of those British Queen's Guards. But what if I do this?!" he shouted. Bender zoomed his eyes out toward the Royal Guard's eyes until they were only an inch away from touching his eyes. "You know, I'm not gonna risk touching you with my eyes, cause I bet as soon as I did you'd kick my ass." With that Bender zoomed out his eyes back to normal, lit himself up a cigar using his left hand's middle finger as a lighter, then proceeded to walk around town. "Jeez, I hope they have cigars here?" he thought. But then he suddenly started shouting while he fell to his knees. "What if they don't have alcohol?!" "Don't worry we do." said Berry Punch walking past him. "Phew!" he said while wiping the sweat (oil) off his forehead. "Hey wait up!" Bender stood up and walked after Berry Punch. "Your assy mark tells me you're good with booze." "Oh no! You're not getting me drunk and getting me to have sex with you like others have done!" "……………" he said while he blankly stared at her. Bender slowly turned around and walked slowly away from Berry Punch He suddenly screamed aloud as he realized somewhere in the multiverse right now he must indeed be having sex with Berry Punch. "Damn you multiverse!" he shouted while waving his right fist in the air. "Only sapient humanoid aliens or robots huh?" said Lyra from behind him. "Yeah!" "Hmph! You're a xenophobe!" With that Lyra walked off in a huff. "Hmm, well I guess it mightn't be b---- he then suddenly shouted. "Nooo, this is crazy to think about!" Unbeknownst to anyone Discord with a pair of binoculars was on top of a high snowy mountain's peak far away watching Bender. "Come on Bender, do something crazy!" he shouted. *** In the Canterlot sculpture garden the statue of Discord was still there, yet there was another Discord far away up a mountain watching Bender. Suddenly a flock of pigeons landed on Discord's statue, whom dropped many droppings on him. "When I get out of here again, you pigeons will pay dearly!" shouted Discord. *** Princess Celestia in her golden chariot pulled by four Pegasus Royal Guard descended down from the sky above Ponyville to land in front of Bender, whom was smoking a cigar at the foot of the Planet Express Ship's stairs. "Greetings, I am Princess Celestia, and I gladly welcome you to Equest-- "So you're the big boss of all the Ponies, right?" She smiled warmly at him then said. "In a way yes, I am. But don't you worry, I'm a kind leader, who would never-- "Hah! Sure you are!" he said sarcastically with a nasty grin. He puffed his cigar blowing smoke into Celestia's face causing her to cough, then to angrily glare at him. The Royal Guard also glared angrily at Bender for his lack of respect for their princess. "I see you are quite the gentlecolt." she said sarcastically. "And I see you have quite a huge ass!" "There's no point in talking to you is there?" "Nope." Just then Leela walked down the stairs carrying Fry. "At last the less rude aliens." she thought. *** Miles away on top of a snowy mountain Discord laughed while he watched Bender talk to Celestia. "Oh Bender, you're so lucky I sent you to a parallel universe where Princess Celestia is compassionate with a heart of gold, otherwise you'd be dead by now." he then giggled sounding like a school girl. "Oh Bender, you'd love to help the Ponies kill all Humans in one of the Conversion Bureau universes, where Celestia is a tyrant. Perhaps I should send another Bender just like you there?" Author's Note I've kinda hit writer's block again.
Take Me To Your LeaderIn Ponyville, outside the Planet Express Ship next to the remains of Rarity's House, the leader of Equestria Princess Celestia had met with Bender and... well Bender was his rude and generally obnoxious self, which resulted in really nothing productive being said between one another. But the good news now Leela was carrying Fry down the Ship's steps. "Greetings, I am Celestia. Welcome to-- "Why is your horn so big?" said Fry pointing his index finger at Celestia's horn. "Woooo!" shouted Bender hooting. Celestia sighed while she rolled her eyes. "Because I'm an Alicorn OK?" she said sounding annoyed. Leela placed Fry down on the ground next to the ship's stairs. "Don't listen to Fry, he's an idiot." "No, I'm doesn't!" Celestia flapped her wings to fly into the air off her chariot to make her way towards Fry, then landed in front of him, which resulted in Fry to scream in fear while he placed his hands over his head to protect himself. At the same time Bender ran screaming up the ship's stairs to safety within the ship. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so rude!" cried Fry. "Don't hurt him!" Leela shouted while she went into a martial arts stance. Leela heard Celestia's voice inside her head. "I'm not going to hurt him. I'm going to heal him." Leela relaxed lowering her fists. "Shh, look at me." Celestia said with a soft motherly voice while she looked down at the terrified form of Fry. "Everything is going to be OK. I'm not going to hurt you." Fry looked up with tears in his eyes at Celestia's smiling face. "You're not?" "Of course not. In fact, I'm going to heal you." Celestia gently placed her right hoof on his chest causing Fry to shake in fear. "Relax, close your eyes and breathe deeply." she whispered. Fry relaxed closing his eyes and took a deep breath. Celestia's horn lit up with a bright yellow light, magic channeled out from Celestia's right hoof onto Fry's chest, causing a small area on Fry's chest where her hoof was to glow with blue sparkling light. Fry felt a tingling sensation all across his body, he then soon could feel the pain washing away and the strength returning to his legs. "Thank you very much." Celestia smiled warmly in reply, then gently levitated him onto his feet, which caused him to stumble briefly, before regaining his balance. "Now, take me to your leader." "Uh Fry, I am the leader silly." she said while she gave him a weird look. "Oh." Fry walked back up the ship's stairs. "Celestia?" said Leela. "Do you know of any way we could get home?" "Unfortunately, I do not have the knowledge to create a trans-dimensional portal to take you home to your own universe." "So we're stuck here?" "Well Discord, might be able to do it, but he's not exactly available." "What do you mean?" "Well Discord... is the spirit of chaos, so we have to keep him imprisoned in stone." "Oh." "So... since your people can travel the stars, I was wondering if you could share this knowledge with us?" "Well I do have a book on board the ship that tells you how to increase the speed of light and create a spaceship." "How... how does one increase the speed of light?" "Well I'm a little rusty on how it works, but basically the engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is and the engines move the universe around it." "Oh." "Why do you ask anyway?" "I'm not exactly sure if our sun will stay healthy and live forever, which in turn makes me fear I am not truly immortal." A single tear rolled down her left cheek. "For I have watched stars across the cosmos die for thousands of years, so I fear there's a chance all life as we know it will one day die on this planet. I cannot allow my little Ponies and all the other races and even the Changelings fade into the darkness to be forgotten forever." "Even if your race didn't make it to the stars, in another parallel universe your people did make it to the stars." "I can take comfort in that, thanks." "Happy to help." "I look forward to reading this book. For with this knowledge I can ensure the survival of all the races on this planet." "You might have to watch out for some hostile Alien races." "But not all aliens are hostile right?" "Of course not. There's many friendly aliens too." "Oh, good." "I'll go get the book." Leela walked back up the ship's stairs into the cargo bay, which was still littered with Bender's bricks lying everywhere. "I really gotta clean this place up." Just then Bender walked out from the crew's quarters next to the cockpit. "So she's not gonna kill us?" "No." "Oh good." He exited the ship by walking down the stairs. Elsewhere Fry was sitting in the captain's seat in the cockpit looking bored. "I imagine this planet doesn't have TV. So what the hell am I gonna do for fun?" Outside Bender walked past Celestia. "Bender?" "What?!" Bender shouted turning around to give her an angry glare. "You better behave yourself." "Why?" "Or I'll wipe your porno files with my magic." "You wouldn’t dare!" "Wouldn’t I?" The two stared at one another in silence for about a minute, until Bender sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll behave myself." "Good." Leela walked down the ship stairs holding a red book. "Here's the book you wanted." Celestia's horn lit up surrounding the book in a golden aura, then levitated the books towards her. "Thank you Leela." "You're welcome." Celestia flew back onto her chariot. "I have other duties to attend to. So, goodbye for now." With that her chariot took off into the sky leaving Bender and Leela alone outside the ship. "Well, I'm gonna look at porno for a few hours." Bender said as he walked up the ship's stairs. Just as Bender went inside the crew's quarters, Fry had exited the cockpit to walk across the cargo bay, then headed outside by walking down the ship's steps. "So Leela, what are we gonna do?" "Well Fry, we might possibly just have to spend our entire lives here." "And?" Leela sighed looking away from Fry. "We have to look for jobs." "Why?" "To earn a living." Fry gasped. "Fry, we can't be jobless bums!" "No, look up Leela." Leela looked up to see Pinkie Pie standing in mid air above her head. "OK, so you have the power to defy the laws of physics?" "Yes." Pinkie Pie jumped down landing in front of Leela. "Anyway, I couldn’t help overhearing you're looking for jobs." "Why yes, we are." said Leela. "Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know just the jobs for you!" "What?" "You can help Applejack on her farm as an Applebucker." "Applebucker?" "You've got strong legs, so I think you'll be a perfect Applebucker." "Well, it'll do for the moment." "I'll ask AJ." Just then Pinkie Pie became a pink blur as she darted off at supersonic speed. "Maybe we could power the ship with Pinkie Pie?" Leela thought. Seconds later, Pinkie Pie came back. "She said yes." "OK, how do I get there?" "I'll take you there. Get on my back." Leela got on Pinkie Pie's back, then Pinkie Pie darted off at supersonic speed, all the while Leela could be heard screaming. "This is crazy." shouted Fry. "I know right." said Pinkie Pie suddenly in his face looking at him upside down while she floated in mid air. "……" Pinkie Pie turned her body upright in mid air, then dropped herself back onto her four hooves in front of Fry. "Anyway, what about my job?" "You can be my assistant baker at Sugarcube Corner." "I'm not good at cooking." "Don't worry, I can teach you." "OK. But can we just walk there?" "Sure." While Pinkie Pie and Fry walked away from the ship, a large group of Ponies wearing yellow hardhats and holding construction tools walked towards Rarity's house to rebuild it. "At least we don't have to do interviews here." Fry thought. "Normally you would." Fry decided not to question how she read his mind, just in case the entire space time continuum collapsed. *** In an apple orchard just outside Ponyville Applejack bucked an apple tree causing many apples to fall into the basket below. "Just like that Leela. Now, you try." "Hi-yah!" shouted Leela as she kicked an apple tree next to her, to result in many apples to fall off the tree into a basket below. "Hah, you're a natural." *** Miles away on top of a snowy mountain Discord was fast asleep snoring loudly, due to being bored with the lack of chaos. *** Inside the Planet Express Ship Bender was fast asleep on a hammock in the crew's quarters. In Bender's dream he was a five hundred feet tall giant walking through Ponyville, where he proceeded to go on a rampage by stomping on buildings destroying them and crushing panicking Ponies in the streets. "I am your God now!" he roared. He also fired thick red laser beams from his eyes vaporizing Celestia in the sky. "Mwahahaha!" he laughed maniacally. He burped a column of flame out from his mouth setting many buildings on fire. "Burn!" A huge brick dropped out from underneath him, which he then picked up and threw at Rarity's house smashing it. In the real world (or at least not in this parallel universe) Ponyville wasn't under attack by the giant robot Bender, Fry was approaching Sugarcube Corner alongside Pinkie Pie. "This is Sugarcube Corner." she said with pride. "Looks like a gingerbread house." "Duh!" She opened the door. "Come on inside." Fry walked inside to be greeted by Mrs Cake from behind her counter. "Hello Fry!" "Uh, hello." "Pinkie Pie has told me so much about you." "She has?" "Yes, so how's things with your special somepony?" "Special somepony?" "You're lover." "Good, I think." "You think?." "I think it's good." "Well okay then." Pinkie Pie walked up to the counter. "Can I have Fry as my assistant?" she asked with pleading doggy eyes. "First, I'll need to know if my husband agrees." she opened the door behind her and then shouted. "Can Pinkie Pie have an assistant to work with her?!" "Sure." Mr Cake simply answered. "Before I hire you Fry, do you have any experience in baking cakes and making candy in general?" "Uh no." "Well OK then, Pinkie Pie will teach you." "Come on Fry." shouted Pinkie Pie while she grabbed him taking him inside the back of the shop. *** Back within the Planet Express Ship inside the crew's quarters, Bender woke up, then stood up off his hammock, then made his way into the cargo bay and then down the ships stairs. "You should go back inside?" said Rainbow Dash (with a red haversack on her back) as she flew down from the sky. "Why?" "We have a storm scheduled in half an hour." "Scheduled?" "Yeah, we control the weather." "Righttt, next you'll be telling me you control the sun." "Celestia does." "Crazy shit. Wait, you Ponies control the weather?" "Yes." "Could you fire lightning at me?" "What?! No!" "Come on, I like lightning." "But I could kill you!" "Nah, lightning doesn't do any harm to robots." "Oh." "But it does make us high." he thought to himself "I might fire lightning at you." "I'll pay you fifty bits if you hit me with a few lightning bolts." "Deal!" She shook his hand, then he handed her fifty bits, which she put away in her haversack. Little did Rainbow Dash know, that Bender stole those fifty bits when he was off sneaking around last night through Ponies' homes and notto mention Rainbow Dash just inadvertently agreed to be Bender's drug dealer. "So you can keep one of the storm clouds for me later?" "I sure will." Rainbow Dash wasn't lying either. She started to think maybe Bender isn't so bad after all, for he did give her fifty bits.
Beer Beer Up top of a snowy mountain Discord was still fast asleep snoring loudly, due to being bored with the lack of chaos. Meanwhile in Sugarcube Corner, things weren't going very well for Fry. "I'm sorry Pinkie Pie." said Fry as he sadly looked down at the smoking cupcakes on the tray within the oven he baked, that were burnt to a crisp. "Hey." Pinkie Pie put a hoof on his right shoulder giving it a gentle reassuring rub. "You did you're best." "I guess." "Someponies like myself like the taste of burnt food." she grabs one of the cupcakes and devours it. "Mmm! See?" "You're just doing that to make me feel better." "No really, someponies like the taste of burnt food." Elsewhere over at Sweet Apple Acres Applejack and Leela were making good progress on harvesting the apples. "Hi-yah." shouted Leela has she sent dozens of apples off the tree to land in a basket below. Leela sighed, just as she was about to knock the apples off another tree. "What's wrong?" said Applejack with a look of concern. "I'd hate to be a burden if you barely make ends meat selling apples?" "Ends meat?" "Make enough money to support yourself and your family without having to pay me." "Hah! Don't worry. We're quite rich." "You are?" "We sell world famous cider, so of course we're rich. "Really?" "Yeah, we just don't like to look like we're rich." "Oh." Leela noticed a storm cloud in the distance. "I think it's gonna rain soon." "It's not scheduled to rain here." "OK then." Leela then thought as she went back to work. "So apparently they control the weather? This world is getting crazier and crazier." *** Back on board the Planet Express Ship, Bender was bored out of his mind sitting on the captain's chair in the cockpit. "Of all the places to end up, we end up on a fucking planet with talking pastel rainbow horses." he sighed in sadness. "Did I deserve this insanity?" Suddenly there was the loud sound of thunder followed by it beginning to rain heavily outside the window. With nothing better to do Bender got up, walked out of the cockpit, and headed down the ship's stairs out into the rain. He needed a shower after all and it's not like he could get a cold out in the rain, being a machine and all. Bender just stood there outside the ship doing nothing but staring down at the ground with a look of deep sadness across his face. "Why am I even here? Like what's the point of it all?" he thought trying to understand this illogical world. Even after the stormed subsided an hour later, Bender was still literally standing there doing nothing but staring at the ground. Pretty much everypony ignored him as he stood there for hours non end. Until at some point after a several hours Lyra had approached him noticing how depressed he looked. "Hey, you OK?" He said nothing in response. "Are you OK?" Still no response. "Listen about yesterday when I levitated and slammed you on the gr--- "LEAVE Me ALONE!" he shouted. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." she pleaded as her eyes became moist. "What did I just say idiot?" he then shouted "Leave me alone!" "Okay, I’ll leave you alone." she said in a low voice tears ran down her cheeks. She gave him one last look of pity before she trotted away. Soon after Lyra had left, Leela had come back from work after a day of helping Applejack buck apple trees and generally help her family around the farm. It was a good day for Leela, for she got the meet Applejack's little sister Apple Bloom and her grandmother Granny Smith. "Hey, you OK?" she said sounding concern. "I'm fine!" he said angrily. "OK." With that Leela with up the stairs into the ship to head for a shower. *** Fry, after finishing his day of work at Sugarcube Corner decided to pay a visit to the Ponyville library, where he was scrolling through books lined up on the shelves through out the library. "There's no TV here, so I gotta find something fun to read." he thought. From across the room near the stairs Twilight looked at Fry curiously as he went from shelf to shelf looking for a book to read. "See anything you like Fry?" "No." "May I recommend you a book?" "Uhh, I don't really like books." Twilight narrowed her eyes angrily at him, for not only did he just waste her time, but the fact he didn't even like books. "Then why are you even here?!" she bellowed in frustration. "Well, I'm kinda looking to see if you have any comics." "Oh … Well, unfortunately we don't have any comics here." "Dammit!" Fry walked out the front door leaving the library. *** Outside the Planet Express Ship Bender was still standing doing nothing but staring at the ground. When all of a sudden his chest cabinet opened by itself. "Huh?" Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of his chest cabinet. "You know what, I won't even ask for logical explanations anymore here." Pinkie Pie jumped out of Bender's chest cabinet to land on her four hooves in front of him. "Will you be my friend Bender?" "No!" Suddenly she looked at him with sad doggy pleading eyes while her lower lip quivered. "Stop looking at me like that!" "Pwetty pwease!" "…. I-I.... I said no." he said as he found it increasingly difficult to 'say no' to those pleading eyes of hers. "Awww, come on! I even have a party set up for you and your friends starting at nine o'clock tonight at Sugarcube Corner." Bender growled crossing his arms. "Fine! I'll be your friend if it'll get you to leave me alone." he shouted. "Yay!" she shouted suddenly giving him a hug causing him to groan in annoyance. "Is there booze at them parties of yours?" "Yes." "Well, at least if the party sucks there's booze for me to drink." "Exactly!" Happy to know Bender was now her friend she ran off at such speed she was a blur to someplace else to leave Bender in peace. Just as soon as she left Fry had arrived. "Hey Bender, you gonna go to the party later?" "Yeah." Bender lit himself up a cigar using his middle finger as a lighter, while Fry made his way up the ship's stairs. He puffed his cigar as he assumed Fry was going to have his dinner with Leela on board the ship. Like he cared for his pitiful organic life form friends? Well ... maybe a little. Fortunately, in Bender's case as a robot he did not need to eat food, however he did need alcohol to fuel his power cells. The cigars? They were just used to make himself look cool. "HEY, BENDER!" Bender looked up to see it was Rainbow Dash that shouted at him, whom held a small storm cloud in her hooves. "Hello Dash!" "When do you wanna get hit with lightning?" "Hit me with the shock juice just before the party starts." "OK, see you later." Rainbow Dash flew away taking the storm cloud with her. "Hmm, maybe I should get a job?" he thought. He went back up the stairs of the ship to head into the crew's quarters in order to pass the time by watching porn for a few hours. *** Later at night Bender left early for the party to hide the fact from Fry and Leela that he was gonna get himself whacked out on electricity. "Can't let those two catch me jacking-on." he thought as he walked down the ship's stairs. In truth, Bender never stopped getting stoned off electricity, he just did it behind their backs. And so he made his way over to Sugarcube Corner, where he conveniently met Rainbow Dash just outside holding a small storm cloud. "Hey, Bender!" "Yo!" "Want me to fire lightning at you now Bender?" "Hold up a second, let me just put this magnet on my head first." Bender took a square yellow refrigerator magnet out from his chest cabinet, he then placed it on his head. Which resulted in him going out of his mind and start to sing Wild Rover, at the same time Rainbow Dash stared at him while giving a weird look. "I've been a wild rover for many's the year, I've spent all me money on whiskey and beer! But now I'm returning with gold in great store! And I never will play the wild rover no more! And it's no, nay, never, no, nay never no more! Will I play the wild rover, no never no more! I went in to--" Rainbow Dash bucked the cloud hitting Bender with a lightning bolt. "Awwwww yeah!" With a magnet on his head while being hit with lightning Bender was stoned out of his mind with his vision blurred. "Bender, are you Okay?" she said with concern has Bender's eyes had become derped. "Uh..yes... I'm fine." Bender found it painful to look at Rainbow Dash, for her mane caused his vision to blur with rainbow colors and static giving him a headache. "Are you sure?" "Yes... " he groaned in pain as he rubbed his forehead." I'm..... fine." Rainbow Dash walked away, leaving Bender alone. "Uhh my head!" he then looked at his fingers to see he had seven on each hand. "Holy shit!" In reality Bender had only three fingers on each hand. However, with drugs involved, what is real and what is not real isn't all that clear. So he wondered around Ponyville with a dazed look in his eyes. Fry and Leela were probably at the party by now, but he forgotten how to get back to Sugarcube Corner due to being out of his mind. For he had slowly lost his mind and couldn't think with logical sense as he saw Amy Wong, whom wore her usual pink clothes as she walked up to him with a sultry look in her eyes. "Hey there hot stuff." "Hey Amy, you end up here too?!" The following morning Bender opened his eyes to find to his horror that he wasn't in his own bed, but in Lyra's and Bon Bon's bed, clearly that wasn't Amy last night. Both of them were snuggled up to him, with Lyra on the left and Bon Bon on the right. Bon Bon sighed happily then spoke. "Good morning." Bender jumped out of the bed and ran out of the room screaming. "Such a xenophobe." said Lyra while she crossed her hooves frowning. Bender screamed as he ran through Ponyville remembering the horrors of last night’s activity with Lyra and Bon Bon while everypony in Ponyville stared at him in confusion. Bender ran up the Planet Express Ship's stairs into the cargo bay, then he made his way into the crew's quarters, followed by locking the door behind him, and then he fell to his knees crying. "I'll never do drugs again!" He takes a yellow refrigerator magnet out from his cabinet and puts it on his forehead, making him high and start to sing Wild Rover again. Else where on board the ship Fry and Leela were in bed, with the smell of alcohol in the air from Pinkie Pie's party last night, but other than that they were fine. Author's Note Well, I hope that doesn't earn me a mature rating. It was suggestive. That means it's still teen rated right?
Beer Drinking RobotInside the Planet Express Ship Fry and Leela were still in bed fast asleep, however in within the crew's quarters, the alcoholic robot Bender lay wide awake on the floor, with a magnet on his forehead making him sing 'She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain'. "She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes... He wished through his singing that he was back home in his own universe, so he could get his hands on a memory enema to completely forget the horrors of last night. All of a sudden Bender stood up, pulled the magnet off his head, followed by throwing it on the ground. "Well, it's done now, no use pondering on it. Best thing to do is to try forget about it." With that Bender walked out of the room into the cargo bay and headed down the ship's stairs. Outside Bender was greeted by a warm sunny morning as he walked down the ship's stairs. "It's nice out." He took a cigar out from his chest cabinet, and lit it up with his left middle finger using it as a lighter.... Unfortunately, his lighter finger came out with only small insignificant sparks. "Ahhh, come on!" he tryeed again to light his cigar still the same result. "Ah for fuck's sake!" It was was then that Bender noticed Spike standing outside Rarity's house, which was still being repaired. "HEY DRAGON!" he shouted. "What?!" he shouted back. "Get over here and light my cigar!" "No!" "Ah come on, please!" "Well OK, since you said please." Spike walked over to Bender and lit his cigar up for him by blowing out a small light green flame out from his mouth, which gently set alight the tip of Bender's cigar. "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Question." "Yes?" "Do you know where I can find someone who owns a buffer?" "For what?" "So that they can use it to polish my ass." "Uhhh, I think Aloe and Lotus at the spa could use their buffer to polish your ass." "You know what forget I asked." Bender walked away suddenly deciding he didn't want his assed polished after all. "What an ass." *** Discord stood a top a snowy mountain looking disappointed at the results of bringing Fry, Leela and Bender to Equestria. "This is boring! Perhaps, I should just send them home? Or maybe do something crazy? Like send other characters like Teletubbies or something here. Or maybe send them on a Multiverse traveling adventure?" Discord grinned nastily, followed by disappearing in a blinding flash of light. Author's Note Sorry for such a small update, but I have no real idea where to go from here. So this might be the end of this story. But I hope this at least inspires you to make your own crazy Futurama crossovers of My Little Pony.
MadnessAs the alcoholic robot known as Bender walked away from the Planet Express Ship, there was suddenly a massive blinding flash of light at the edge of Ponyville, followed by the appearance of a enormous black mechanical cuttlefish like starship: A Reaper. "Oh crap!" Bender shouted as the Ponies fled for their lives, pegasus carrying Earth Ponies away, some unicorns teleporting them selves away and friends. The Reaper roared it's horn, then fired a thick red laser beam which blew up Rarity's house, which was still being repaired. "Oh, come on!" shouted Rarity's voice. Bender ran a way out of Ponyville screaming, when out of nowhere at the opposite side of town there was another blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of a giant lizard: Godzilla. Godzilla roared while he jumped into the air to tackle the Reaper down onto the ground. The Reaper and Godzilla wrestled with one another along the ground, crushing buildings and everything in their path. Discord was rolling along the ground laughing a top a snowy mountain. "Why didn't I do this earlier?" Back in Ponyville there was a blinding flash of light outside Sugarcube Corner, followed by the appearance of Zoidberg. "Hurray, I'm in Equestria!" his happiness was short live as he gasped in horror seeing Godzilla and a Reaper wrestling one another on the ground and destroying Ponyville. "It is up to me to save Equestria and--- His sentence was cut short by being stepped on by The Dark Lord Cthulhu. On the opposite side of Ponyville there was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of a huge fiery demon known as The Balrog, aka Durin's Bane. The Balrog roared while he jumped into the air to tackle Cthulhu down onto the ground. The Balrog and Cthulhu wrestled with one another along the ground, adding to the Reaper's and Godzilla's destruction of Ponyville. In Canterlot there were Cyborg Raptors that could fire laser beams from their eyes, whom were fighting against Space Marines from Warhammer 40k in the streets, killing and destroying every living thing caught in the crossfire. Giant rabbits, that could fire laser beams from their eyes were battling against Galactic Empire Forces from Star Wars with many AT-AT walkers outside Appleloosa. Back over in Canterlot, things were now a complete clusterfuck. The terrified Ponies could do little but hide as these nightmarish monsters from countless parallel universes all engaged one another in combat. Their were demons, giant robots, dinosaurs, Orcs, Orks, Crab People, zombies, zombie teletubbies, Reapers from Mass Effect, cyborgs, robot unicorns, Balrogs, titans and other giant monsters, plus all manner of things fighting in Canterlot. As they continued to kill one another more and more creatures appeared with blinding flashes of light out of nowhere to add to the chaos. *** A top a snowy mountain Pinkie Pie appeared before Discord with a blinding flash of light. "This ends now!" she roared. "And who are you stop me?" "I am a nearly completely immortal entity of Pinkie Pie." Pinkie Pie fired red laser beams from her eyes at Discord. "Noooooooooo!" he shouted as his body was turned to stone. Pinkie Pie then sent him back to Canterlot in his own universe as a statue. Pinkie Pie then proceeded to go back in time, thus resending everything back to their own universe and undoing all the damage they done. Fry found himself back in the Planet Express Ship's cockpit flying towards the Milky Way Galaxy. "We're back Leela!" Fry shouted. "What do you mean we're back?" "You don't remember?" "Remember what?" "The Ponies!" "What Ponies?" Fry was now sure they had gone back in time, but for some reason Leela didn't remember them being in a magical land of Ponies. Fortunately this time Fry had avoided breaking his bones and they once again defeated the Space Pirates, but Discord didn't show up this time and they made it back to Earth safely. Unfortunately, Bender had no memory of being in Equestria either when Fry decided to ask him about it. *** Things were more or less normal in Equestria itself. However Pinkie Pie kept on rambling on about interdimensional aliens called Fry, Leela and Bender visiting Equestria, but nopony believed her, they merely dismissed her as looking for attention. Pinkie Pie made crazy conspiracy theories about time travel and an all powerful multiverse traveling Discord. She knew she was right, just everypony but her had their memory wiped. The End In a plain white featureless void floating in nothing there was another Discord. "Nothing ever truly dies." He disappeared in a blinding flash of light to cause chaos in some other unsuspecting universe.
Space Pirates Space Pirates In the incredible vastness of space at the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy a green rocket like space ship that looks like some sort of Thunderbirds reject made it's way towards the galaxy, leaving behind the empty void of intergalactic space at the galaxy's horizon. At the far end of the ship's tail there was a circular logo that said "Planet Express" with a green rocket between the writing. Within the ship a young man sitting on a orange arm chair in his late twenties, whom had red (orange) hair with two spikes in front. He was a bit out of shape and wore a red jacket that he had open, which revealed his white t-shirt underneath, plus he wore blue pants and black sneakers. "That delivery was too close Leela, those aliens almost got us." "Yeah, we were so lucky to get away in time when they were chasing us." Leela also in her late twenties sat in the orange driver seat driving the ship with the steering wheel and unlike Fry had a finely toned, yet meaty looking body, in other words sexy. She had however rather alien features, like purple hair with a ponytail and one large single eye. She wore skin tight black pants, a white tank top, big black boots, and a highly advance piece of machinery on her left wrist. "I don't think my harvested organs would sell well." "And I don't think I would be a very good sex slave." Fry raised his right eye brow grinning a little. "Shut up!" "Anyway, are we home yet Leela?" No, Fry." she said. "How about now?" "Fry shut up before I stuff my boot up your ass." "Okay." he said nervously. Leela thought she was a little too hard on Fry there, so she came up with a plan to brighten the mood a bit. "Wanna play I Spy?" "Sure." "I spy, with my one big eye something beginning with--" "Warning! Massive weight detection in crew's sleeping quarters." said a robotic female voice from a Computer near by. "Fry, can you check that out?" "Do I have to?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because when we get to Earth we will almost certainly crash land." "And?" "And we might die." "Oh, OK." With that Fry got up and walked out of the cockpit through the sliding door into the empty cargo bay, where he opened the door next to the cockpit on the right and.... a huge pile of bricks fell on Fry crushing him and covered his whole body in bricks. "Ow! I think I've broken my bones." "Sorry Fry." said a drunken voice from the crew's quarters. "Bender! Have you got brickiarrhea again?!" he shouted. "Yes." Suddenly the Ship shook violently causing many bricks to spill out from the crew's quarters into the cargo bay. Outside two ships looked like old-fashioned wooden pirate ships and even have sails, that flew towards the Planet Express ship firing cannon balls at it, causing dents along the hull, however most of the cannon balls miss, due to Leela flying the ship side to side, which was strangely enough very effective against these pirates. Back in the ship Leela spoke on intercom. "Space Pirates! Quick load the torpedoes!" "Out of torpedoes." said the ship's robotic female voice. "Great, just great. I should have took the tollbooth, no Space Pirates there." Bender smoking a cigar ran out from the crew's quarters into the cargo bay, he sent bricks flying everywhere while carrying a large load of his bricks. "We can fire my bricks at them!" he shouted on intercom while making his way through the cargo bay. "Good! Is Fry at the turret?" "Um Fry's bones are broken." "What?! she shouted. "It's a long story." The ship shook violently again from being hit by a cannon ball, which caused Bender's cigar to fall out from his mouth and himself to fall over and drop his bricks all over the floor. "Fuck!" he shouted. "Get to the torpedo room already and fire your feces at them!" she shouted. "I'm on it bossy boots!" Bender scrambled to his footcups, then picked back up his cigar to place back in his mouth, which he briefly puffed to blow smoke in the air, then grabbed as many of his bricks as he could off the floor before making his way into the torpedo room. "They'll love this shit!" he said with a nasty grin. A dozen bricks dropped out from Bender's ass onto the floor while he had begun loading the bricks into a torpedo launcher. "Firing bricks!" shouted Leela. Bricks blasted out from the Planet Express Ship like shotgun shells (whole bricks) that shattered both the Space Pirates' ship halls followed by blowing them up into smithereens just like that. "Yes, you did it Bender!" "Like I told you before Leela, bricks are better than cannon balls." "Did you ever consider becoming a Bricklayer?" "Yes, like many other Bending Units like myself I got a job as a Bricklayer once, due to the fact we crap bricks." "Why did you leave?" "Every Bending Unit that was there was crapping bricks all the time all over the place, and I kept falling over bricks." "Oh. Anyway your shiny metal ass produces very good weapons." "And building material. Unlike you meatbags' disgusting smelly crap!" "Hey! Our crap can be used as fertilizer!" "True. Leela, go check on Fry, I think he's in a great deal of pain." *** Leela made her way out of the cockpit to see Fry groaning in pain while lying on the floor among the bricks all over the cargo bay outside the crew's quarters. "Fry are you OK? Does Bender have brickiarrhea again?" she shouted while she ran over to him. "Yeah, uhhhh aahh ffffuck! I'm just in a great deal of pain!" "Hold on Fry let me give you a bone regeneration shot." "You have those?" "Fry you live in the future, so shut up!" With that Leela ran into the medbay to grab a syringe filled with blue liquid out from a press, then ran back into the cargo bay to inject Fry in the arm with the syringe. "Ow! That hurt Leela!" "Quit being a baby Fry." "I'm not a baby Leela, you are!" "Righttt." "How long till I get my bones fixed?" "A few days." "Dammit!" "Bender get in here and throw all your crap out the airlock!" she shouted. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of Discord, aka the Spirit Of Disharmony, a Draconequus which seemed to be a mixed species. Due to having; the head of a Pony, a dragon's tail, a dragon's left leg, a eagle's claw for a right arm and other strange features. "Who the hell are you?" shouted Leela. "There's no point in telling, for you won't remember, because you would ruin my fun." Leela went into a Martial Arts stance. "Go whoop his ass Leela!" shouted Fry. "Hi-yah!" Leela leaped into the air to kick Discord in the mouth knocking one of his teeth out. "Ow!" shouted Discord while he placed his right hand over his mouth winching in pain in an effort to stop the blood dripping from his mouth, while simultaneously with is right claw he tried to grab Leela, who dodged his swipes with his claw by jumping around and swerving left to right. "He-yah!" she shouted while she started punching Discord's face with her powerful fists. "Ow!" Suddenly Bender jumped on Discord's back, then proceeded to wrap his arms around him and then bend his back. He broke Discord's back with a bone cracking sound causing Discord to scream in pain. "Aaaahhh! Stop it!" "Hah! I should be a Chiropractor!" he shouted. "Hell yeah Bender, break his back!" shouted Fry. "Enough!" screamed Discord while a powerful burst of energy blasted out from him, which sent Leela and Bender slamming into opposite walls across the cargo bay. "I did not come to your universe to feel pain!" "Stop talking with your big dragged out sentences!" shouted Fry. While Bender groaned on the ground in pain, Leela had already gotten back onto her feet and proceeded to jump high into the air towards Discord with a flying kick intended for his face. But Discord swerved to the right narrowly dodging her boot, to grab her ponytail while she was in mid air and then throw her back across the room to slam into the wall. "You are persistent I give you that, but it's time to end this silliness!" Behind Discord the robot Bender had gotten back up on his footcups, whom then proceeded to pick up one of his bricks off the floor. "Eat my bricks!" shouted Bender as he threw his brick at Discord to hit him in the back of the head with it. "Ow! Oh, you cheeky bastard!" he shouted angrily while he narrowed his eyes at Bender. With a wave of his claw Discord levitated Bender high up into the ceiling and then slammed him back onto the floor. "Ow! Not even my bricks can kill him." "There is no hope!" shouted Fry. Leela had again gotten back up and jumped towards Discord with a flying kick, but Discord merely flicked his fingers, which created a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of the ship and everyone in it apart from Discord himself, whom floated in space. "This is going to be fun to watch." He rubbed his right hand over his face to magically regrow his tooth back and stop the bleeding, then conjured a packet of popcorn for himself to eat. *** The Planet Express ship was now floating just above an Earth like planet's atmosphere. On board the ship Bender carried Fry into the cockpit while Leela ran over to the driver seat to try take control of the ship. "Dammit! The engine is broken somehow." she shouted. "We're gonna crash!" shouted Fry. "Abandon ship!" shouted Bender as he threw Fry aside on the floor. "Ow!" "By the way." "Yes Bender?" said Leela. "I taken all the parachutes! Just in case if one broke." he shouted as he opened the airlock and jumped out into space. "Bender you bastard!" "How did we get here anyway?" "It doesn't matter Fry! The Professor is too cheap to buy us escape pods and Bender took all the parachutes." she shouted. Leela ran over to Fry to pick him up off the ground, then placed him on a seat and fasten his seat belt for him, before she ran back to her chair to fasten her own seat belt for herself. "It really is true. Our crew is replaceable. Your package isn't." "Yep." "And by the way in case we die, I love you." "I know. I love you too." she took hold of his hand with tears filling her eye. "Cheesy lame ass romantic last words like that from a crappy chick flick movie are the best." "Indeed." They kissed passionately goodbye together. *** Bender safely descended slowly into the planet's atmosphere with a yellow parachute while smoking a cigar, that somehow remained alight despite being so high in the air. The Planet Express Ship passed by Bender rapidly. "Holy brick crap! I think they're boned." *** Down deep in the middle of the Everfree Forest on a small grassy hill a young yellow Pegasus with pink hair known as Fluttershy was playing pat-a-cake with a large brown bear. "Patty cake, patty cake, baker's stallion. Bake me a--" Fluttershy saw a big fire ball like object falling from the sky heading rapidly towards them. "Run!" she shouted. Both her and the bear ran away as well as birds in the local area flew away. They narrowly avoided the Planet Express ship crash landing where they just were. The ship proceeded to slide down the ground creating a long deep trench as well as smashing down dozens of trees at it slid along down the hill before finally coming to a stop from hitting a large bolder. Fluttershy and the bear kept on running and didn't look back. The ship miraculously received very little damage from the impact with the ground and trees. Just a few broken windows and dents along the hall. *** Soon Bender arrived with his parachute conveniently landing right in front of the ship's crash site. "I bet they are dead." "Think again." said Leela's voice from behind. Bender turned around to meet a big black boot hitting him in the face before he blanked out beeping like R2-D2 into darkness. *** In a flashback we see Fry and Leela still kissing in the cockpit as they crash land onto the ground and somehow not die. "We survived Leela!" "Somehow we did." She pressed a button lowering the ships landing gear and stairs. "You stay here Fry, I'm gonna have a look around." "It's not like I have a choice, my legs and arms are broken." "Pity your mouth wasn't broken." With that Leela walked out of the cockpit, then made her way down the ship's steps to view the environment. "Hmm, this planet has plant like life that you would see on Earth." she thought. "I wonder if there's any Internet connection?" she looked at the device on her left wrist to show there was indeed no connection, as indicated by a flashing red light on the right top corner of the screen. "Nope. I think this is a primitive non intergalactic civilization world, that's assuming this planet even has a dominant sapient species." Leela walked over to a tree, then looked up to see Bender with his parachute descending down from the sky to land right in front of her with his back to her. "I bet they are dead." "Think again." Leela raised her right boot into the air to kick Bender right in the face just as he turned around, which knocked him over and made him beep like R2-D2 before blanking out. *** Fluttershy ran out of the Everfree Forest into her Cottage just outside the forest to get far away and safe at home from whatever the thing was that had fallen from the sky. Near by there was a medieval like town with thatched houses and beautiful gardens. Minus having a local gong farmer, (they weren't that medieval, they had bathrooms with toilets in their homes) a gallows, or a killer plague neither. Author's Note I've kinda hit writer's block in chapter two. Hope you enjoy this.
PonyvilleFry (whom was being carried by Leela), Bender, Twilight Sparkle (whom levitated the gems and bottles of wine Bender had stolen from Rarity), Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Spike left behind the destruction that the Planet Express Ship made when it crash landed. Almost wordlessly they made their way out of the darkness of the Everfree Forest to head to the safety of Ponyville. Until Rarity's eyes suddenly widen with a look of panic on her face. "Opalescence!" she shouted. "Don't worry she's OK, I saw her in Ponyville when I flew back." said Rainbow Dash. "Oh." she said sounding relieved. "Are we there yet Leela?" said Fry. Leela sighed in annoyance. "Don't even start Fry." They bypassed the remains of the Timberwolves without a word, and then soon enough they found themselves in the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, where the lights of Ponyville could be seen. "My poor home." said Rarity with tears in her eyes seeing what's left of her home. While Fluttershy gave Rarity a hug Twilight had levitated Rarity's gems and wine over to her own non destroyed house, once the gems and wine where there she opened the door with magic, she then threw the gems into a corner on the floor, but gently placed the wine on a small wooden table near the stairs. Back outside Bender waved his arms in the air excitedly. "Hey, I remember this place! I robbed Rarity's house here!" "Well duh Bender!" shouted Rarity. "Hey! I gotta make room by deleting some memory for the porno I've backed up! Wouldn’t want it to get corrupted, seeing how I got so many viruses." "If it's deleted, how do you remember it?" said Leela. "Well I don't really delete them, I compressed the files to make room for my porno, which means old files can restore themselves when you see stuff you saw before or heard before, thus making me feel surprised every time--- "Are you small? Get genetic engineering done for a supersize!" said Bender as his voice suddenly changed to a robotic female voice. With his right hand Bender banged his chest. "Shut up virus!" he shouted. "Those ads make me feel so insecure." said Fry. "Don't worry Fry, I love you just the way you are." "That's because you have really low standards Leela." thought Bender to himself. Pinkie Pie glared at him angrily. "You're really mean Bender." she said. "Did she just read my thoughts?" thought Bender. "Nah, it couldn’t be." Pinkie Pie winked at him. "She did just read my thoughts." "I was right!" shouted an excited female voice. Then with a flash of light Lyra appeared before Fry and Leela. "I knew Humans existed!" "How do you know what they are?" said Twilight. "Honestly Twilight, have you ever read books about the mythology of Humans?" "Um no." "I can't blame her for not reading those books, for Humans suck!" said Bender. Lyra turned around to face Bender with fire in her eyes. "WHAT?!" she shouted "I want to kill all Humans!" Tears began to form in Lyra's eyes. "You … want ... to … kill … all … Humans?" "Yeah!" "I WON'T LET YOU!" she screamed in anger while her horn flowed with a green aura. Another green aura had surrounded Bender's body lifting him twenty feet into the air. "Let me go!" Bender shouted as he extended his arms toward Lyra to try hit her, however his arms were pushed back by a magical force which tangled them around his body in a mess. "Oh crap, I'm boned!" he screamed as Lyra slammed him down onto the ground causing everyone watching to flinch. "Ow!" she then lifted him back up. "Oh no! Not again!" he screamed as he was slammed back down onto the ground again. "Ow!" "Relax!" shouted Leela. Lyra held Bender in mid air just when she was about to slam him onto the ground again with his body only an inch off the ground. "Yeah, Bender's harmless." said Fry. "Yes, I'm harmless! Just let me go!" he shouted. Both of the green auras around Lyra's horn and Bender's body faded away, and since Bender was only an inch off the ground he landed lightly. Bender's arms detached themselves out from their sockets, followed by self untangling themselves, then stuck them themselves back into Bender's sockets, and then Bender stood back up. "So are you good Humans who will help us get an intergalactic civilization, or evil Humans that will enslave us, make glue out from us and eat us?" "Uh, good Humans." said Fry. "Good! I was wondering if we could make a hybrid species of a Pony and a Human, or perhaps a centaur?" "Hey! Fry's my man!" shouted Leela. "Aww!" she said sadly. "Can you share him?" "No!" Lyra ears lowered as sadness swept across her face with some tears forming in her eyes. "Oh... okay then." she said in a low voice. Lyra sadden that she was rejected walked away looking down at the ground. As Lyra walked away she thought to herself. "I was a little too forward. Oh, I do dislike that Humans are mostly monogamous. But at any rate, I should have come up with a better pickup line than that. But at least I have my dear Bon Bon." With Lyra gone they made their way over to the remains of Rarity's home, where a large crowd of Ponies talked among themselves in hushed tones while some stared at; Fry, Leela and Bender. "What the hell are you looking at?!" shouted Bender waving his right fist at them threateningly. The crowd of Ponies ran off into their homes. "Watch yourself Bender." said Twilight with her eyes narrowed while she threateningly flowed a purple aura around her horn. "OK OK!" he shouted. Twilight lifted the Planet Express Ship into the air with levitation, then span it upright in mid air, followed by gently placing it next to Rarity's house. "Well whaddya know, I could have levitated it." "So you wrecked my home for nothing?!" shouted Rarity. "I'm sorry!" "I won't forgive you unless you pay for the damage." "I will!" Rarity hugged Twilight, followed by giving her a reassuring pat on the back. "Good, then I forgive you." "I want a hug now!" shouted Bender. Pinkie Pie jumped into Bender's arms to give him a hug, which Bender strangely enough returned and also rubbed his left hand through her mane. "You're not all that bad are you Bender?" said Pinkie Pie staring into his eyes. "I don't want a hug now!" Despite not wanting a hug anymore Bender had gently placed Pinkie Pie back down on the ground. "He must be trying to hide his sensitive side with his masculinity." thought Pinkie Pie to herself. "Is there any weapons on that ship we should be worried about?" said Twilight. "No, the ship's weapons are seemingly all broken." "Oh." Leela placed Fry down at the foot of the ship's steps. "Bender, open your chest cabinet." said Leela. "Why?" "I'm confiscating your chain saw." "Hey, it's my chain saw!" "What you have is a potentially dangerous weapon." "Weapon?!" shouted the Mane six and Spike. "Alright fine, I'll hand it over." Bender opened his chest cabinet and handed Leela the chain saw. Leela took her wrist thingy off, then gestured for Twilight to take both her wrist thingy and chain saw. So Twilight took them both with levitation magic. "Keep them safe, and for all that is good do not mess with them." "But the device that was on your wrist looks harmless?" "It can fire a laser beam capable of both burning and generally destroy flesh." Fluttershy's eyes widen from picturing a horrible mental image of poor animals being killed with such a weapon, thus caused her to vomit profusely on the ground "Why would you have such a cruel weapon?" shouted Fluttershy. "I take it your a bunch of peace loving environmental hippies!" shouted Bender. Fluttershy flew towards Bender's face to give him The Stare making Bender nervous. "And what are Humans like robot? Are they a warlike race of savages?" "Uh, not so much any more. Mostly because the Omicronians are by far the most feared alien race in the entire universe." "Why are they feared?" "Their military might is vastly superior than any race in the universe." "If that's true, have they taken over the universe?" "No, but I think they very well could if they wanted to. Luckily they keep to themselves most of the time, leaving all the other races, including robots like myself scared shitless of their next crazy demands." "Oh." "They've also been known to destroy entire planets over the most ridiculous of things." Spike and the Mane Six gasped in horror. "Why?" "Like one of Lrrr's favorite TV shows from a thousands years ago being canceled." "That's insane. Destroying an entire planet over one of his favorite type of shows that you call a “TV Show” being canceled?" "Yep." "Insane!" she shouted. "Yeah Fluttershy, even I can see why the Omicronians are feared." said Rainbow Dash. "Look, it's been a tiring day. We'll talk more tomorrow. Goodnight." said Leela." All the Mane Six in general waved at them and said goodnight. "Goodnight!" said Spike. Leela picked Fry back up, then carried him up the ship's steps. "I need to go toilet Leela." he said in a low voice. "OK." Bender went inside the ship shortly after Leela . *** Everypony went home to go to bed, and since Rarity's home was destroyed herself and Sweetie Belle stayed at Twilight's home for the night. Twilight hid the weapons Leela gave her behind an invisible small transparent area on the wall in her bedroom, she then had Spike send a letter to Celestia detailing the events of tonight. Celestia responded quickly to say she would visit Ponyville tomorrow morning to see them, she also told Twilight she has sent a small legion of the Royal Guard just in case if these Aliens were to turn hostile, so that they could quickly deal with them. With that over with Twilight went off to bed along with Spike in the basket near her bed. Spike never have slept in the spare room Rarity and Sweetie Belle were in, because he would get scared sleeping on his own, so thus found it hard to sleep if he was in a room all by himself. *** In no time at all several dozen Pegasus Royal Guards armed with longswords, (that they some how held with their hooves, (despite not having any fingers.) that wore Roman Legionary like armor had stationed themselves around the Planet Express Ship to keep a watch over it. In Leela's cabin Fry was fast sleep in bed next to Leela, while Leela herself was still wearing her tank top and wide awake thinking. "Well this planet's germs haven't killed us yet that's a good sign. Since the natives appear to be sapient horses they might have food that me and Fry could eat, I hope it's not just grass. We could possibly have the the ship powerd by pony magic. But where would we go? This is clearly not are own universe. We may have to spend our entire lives here." Leela closed her eye to try sleep, for all of them had one crazy night. In the crew's quarters Bender lying on a hammock and was snoring loudly with a porno magazine held in his arms.
