Dear . . .

174 Weather Lane

Cloudsdale Ponyville

Dear Rainbow Dash,

It's been a while, huh? Nearly five years. Five years since I grew up, four since I left town.   I remember when you stopped talking to me. It hurt, a lot. But I got over it easily. I mean, you had every reason to, I did something so horrible, I can't believe it often enough, now that I think about it. It was so stupid of me. I was young, I had just made my mark on the world.

I wanted to show off.

I was such a horrible filly then, and I hope with all my heart that you can forgive me. Forgive me for being so ignorant, forgive me for being so rude, just forgive me in general. I don't know what I  was thinking, I don't know if I was thinking. I just know it was hard, hard to look you in the eye after that. So I didn't.

I remember that day, the day you said you'd take me under your wing. Luna helped me, did you know that Dash? She told me to face my fears, and my only fear was that I'd be rejected by you. Lose you. Oh god, I loved you then, like a sister. But all that changed, didn't it? Yeah. It did. But for the better, right?

I remember the day I came home, sporting that Cutie Mark. The scooter with a lighting bolt over it. You, you were so happy. So encouraging. You adored me for a few hours before taking a nap in the tree, that's when I got cocky. You didn't know what I was up to, hell, I didn't know what I was up to. I just wanted to feel important in your eyes. I wanted to feel important in everyponies eyes. But most importantly, I wanted to feel important in my own eyes.

I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for that. I was young, my dreams had been shattered more times than I could count back then. Nothing was working, I never seemed to gain your attention. Other fillies and colts did, but me? No. In your eyes I was nothing, and so I bounced up to the WonderBolt Academy, telling everypony I was visiting family.

Family, pfft. As if. I'd have to have family to visit.

But any way, lets get back to what happened. I trotted right up to that Spitfire you're always talking about, and demanded to be let in. Those weren't my exact words of course, but I've been too busy to remember the exact ones said. Something along the lines of, "I'm the best flier in all of Equestria, and I can show you!"

Of course she laughed. A small chicken like me, best flier? I laugh at the very thought, even now. There was no way, of course. Or so she thought. I explained to her that I couldn't fly using wings, but I could fly with something better.

"Alright kid, show me what you got." She chuckled softly, amused by my ranting. With shaky legs, I got up on my scooter before I was interrupted.

"On the ground, not in here! Come on," She said to me, her voice booming with amusement "I'll show you where you can show that thing off. I warn you though, it takes a lot more than a tiny scooter to get in here." The fiery mare pushed her face into mine and gazed into my eyes, her eyes showing off her fiery talents. "You gotta want it."

I wanted it a lot, but not more than you. I didn't know you were on Campus grounds then, didn't see you and you didn't see me. You were with that pony I'm sure, Lightning Dust. I thought I saw her racing through the skies that day, but perhaps it was just a fleck of dust, a cloud carried through the wind.

Spitfire showed me to a room where everything was lovely. It was a bit like a gymnasium, and the flooring was scuffed and had ugly dents in it. Maybe it was just the fact that I was getting a chance that made it so glorious.

"Go on kid, show me. Show me you're the best flier, or, scooter-er." She scoffed lightly, encouraging me. Probably because I was so young. But I got on that scooter, my legs shaking lightly. It was scary, being in front of someone who would write my history later. But I did it.

I remember the shock of it all, getting started and jumping off the wall by accident, doing flips and light kicks as I tried to straighten myself. I skidded to a sideways halt in front of that mare, and she looked in awe, so I continued. I went at fast speeds, made quick turns, did everything I could. Just to impress her, to impress myself.

I didn't falter once, not even when she tried to see if I could do the tricks with large amounts of weights. I couldn't do flips, but she didn't expect that of me. She expected speed, and jumps, and large range and long jumps. Quick turns and bunny hops, and the usage of my wings.

When I was done, I was sweating up a storm. Literally. The cloud I used as a sweat rag started storming the second I pushed it away, kicking it lightly, the fluffiness bouncing against my hind hooves lightly. For a second, the lightning raged and Spitfire had a mean look on her, but I know it was just my fear. My fear of failure, of her telling me to go away. Leave her alone, never come back.

But those words never came.

Instead she cheered lightly, and praised me!

"We can either use your scooter abilities, or get your wings flapping with the scooter in the air. What do you say, Scooterloo is it?"

"Scootaloo." I corrected.

"Scootaloo," The word fit in her mouth like a dream. "I like the name, it's got flash. I like your style, you'll have to practice a bit, and I'll have to see if Soarin' likes you and your odd way of flying, but after that, I'd be glad to accept you into the WonderBolts!"

She held out a hoof, I was reeling in shock so hard, I hadn't noticed it until a few moments later, shaking her hoof awkwardly. My stomach fluttered like Shys butterflies. But that was your dream, and I stole it from you.

I left Ponyville, didn't even tell you. Didn't have any belongings to go back and get, and Spitfire suggested I sleep in the room for the younger Trainees. It was empty, no pony had ever slept in there, the younger Pegasi were too scared to stand up for what they dreamed until they were older.

When I returned to Ponyville for a year, you refused to talk to me. You blamed me for everything bad, for leaving especially. You never knew where I went, but I'm telling you now. Right? Anyway, I found out that you loved Soarin'.

My husband.

You still do too, huh? I'm sorry, he was so enchanted by my moves, he didn't pay attention to you, did he? I'm sorry, oh so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt, or maybe I did. Again, I wasn't thinking then.

I live in his chambers now, of course, and I found out today.

Dash, I'm pregnant. The doctor said I'm too young to do it without one of us dying, the child or I, I mean. I'm choosing myself Dash, I wont allow the child to die. I'm due soon, trying to send letters to everypony I care about. I was in Ponyville the other day, sending the news to everypony I knew and saw.

Sweetie and Apple were shocked, and happy. I never told them where I was, all that time I never told my best friends. And Diamond and Silver Spoon, they joined Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Can you believe it?! Well, I'm sure you already know.

I was forgotten, my biggest fear was lived and I didn't even know it. I wont leave a ripple on the world, I'll be ignored after I go, but not by those who cherish me, like Soarin' and my child.

Dash, for the first time ever, I'm scared. Tears ran down my cheek as I made the decision, it means leaving the WonderBolts, but of course, it also means leaving the world. I guess I care more about the WonderBolts than anything else, like you do. Or, maybe did. We haven't chatted in so long, is it still your dream?

When I saw Twilight, her mane was graying. Spitfires' is too. Not too much, as she's younger than Twilight, but still. And Spike! When I saw him, I couldn't believe my eyes! He's so big now, isn't he? But I'm rambling, aren't I? I guess when you have as much time as I do, you're allowed to do that.

Dash, I'm afraid to be forgotten. I'm so young, I could have left more on the world. I could have left more than adoring fans and autographs, more than friends, maybe I could have left a family. But that will be after I go. The thought makes me tear up.

Soarin' says it's alright, that maybe the doctors can save me. Maybe Celestia or Luna will help, maybe both. Ha, the chances of that, they make my lip quiver as my sadness tries to fight off my smile. Or maybe my smile is trying to fight off the sadness, I don't know. I just know my lip is quivering.

This letter is getting too long. I'm in too much pain lately to write too much more. My hooves are sore, and my neck hurts from hunching over.

I love you Rainbow Dash, don't forget that.

With love,

Scootaloo