Would it Matter?

by primalcorn1

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 4716

Twilight does some thinking

After an experiment goes wrong, Twilight, for all intents and purposes, should be dead. Miraculously, she survives without a scratch. But her mind is plagued with a depressing question-what if she had died? Would anypony miss her? Would anypony care? In this oneshot fiction, Twilight battles with this question and begins to wonder if her friends are as true as they seem.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-24 20:23:40 UTC

Would it Matter?

Twilight looked on at her treehouse in horror. The Ponyville weather team was doing it's best to put out the flames, and had most of them subsided. She felt a hoof on her shoulder and turned to face the pony who had put it there. Naturally, it was Fluttershy. Kindness seemed to emanate from the soft yellow coated mare, and a comforting gesture from her was not surprising. Twilight turned again to face her burning home. A simple experiment. How did it go so wrong? If it weren't for Rainbow Dash Twilight would still be in her basement, burning with her home. She decided to count her blessings that she didn't get hurt from the accident. And that Spike was out helping Rarity collect gems at the time the accident occurred. Naturally though, her train of thought was interrupted by none other than Rainbow Dash.

"Hey Twi, you alright?" At least this time it was a show of concern.

""I...yeah...I guess..." It was clear that Twilight was shaken quite badly from the incident. Rainbow wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't exactly the "comfort those in need" type. So instead of continuing the conversation she returned to putting out the last of the flames with the weather team.When they finally finished, the town library-Twilight's home-had been reduced to smoldering mass of bark. The quick-burning napalm Twilight had used in her experiment had spread far faster than she had expected, and almost immediately the entire library had been engulfed in flames. Twilight could do nothing but fall back on her haunches. She couldn't even bring herself to cry.

The six friends decided to meet at Sugarcube Corner to decide what to do next. Naturally Rarity made generous offer after generous offer.

"Oh Twilight, you wouldn't be imposing at all! I couldn't live with myself if one of MY friends didn't have a place to stay after such a tragedy! My home is your home dear! I will NOT take no for an answer!"

"I...thank you Rarity. That was very kind of you. But the Princess gives me a plentiful allowance. I can afford a place to stay until I can have a new home built."

"Twilight, you shouldn't use the emergency allowance the Princess gave you on a hotel when Rarity is so willing to offer us a place to stay!" Spike wasted no time in trying to convince Twilight to accept the offer.

"Spike, our home burned to the ground. I'd say that's an emergency." Twilight chuckled. That dragon would do ANYTHING for a chance to spend time with Rarity.

"What did I say about giving me no as an answer?" Rarity asked sternly. "My home is your home. That's that."

"Rarity, if she wants to rent a room, let her rent a room. I know you're generous by nature, but sometimes a mare's gotta have her space." Rainbow stood by Twilight's decision as if the sky would crash down if she didn't.

Always the loyal one. Twilight thought to herself. She was happy she had so many friends that she could depend on. Even Pinkie Pie, who had suggested a "Let's cheer up Twilight and Spike with a party" party as soon as the group got to Sugarcube Corner.

The night at the hotel was a solemn one for Twilight and Spike. Spike was more than a little displeased that Twilight had turned down Rarity's offer to stay at the Boutique. Twilight loved Spike with every fiber of her being, but when it came to Rarity he had a habit of getting on her nerves.

"Twilight, she made a generous offer for us to stay with her! We should have been polite and accepted it!"

"We're not helpless Spike. Our home burned down, we didn't lose our life savings. Even if we had, the Princess would have us set for life again within a day. There was no reason for us to impose. Besides, the manager isn't charging us given the circumstances, so there's no need for us to bother Rarity even if we HAD lost our life savings." Spike huffed and hopped into the small bed Twilight had made for him. It wasn't long before the baby dragon had fallen asleep, leaving Twilight to lie on her bed and just think. Everything her friends had done for her that day was just a part of their nature. Rainbow Dash flew into a burning and collapsing home against the orders of the Mayor and despite the efforts of the weather team in order to save her. But Rainbow Dash was loyal to everypony in Ponyville, and would have done that for anypony. Rarity would have opened her home to anypony in need of a place to stay. Twilight thought back on the last few weeks. It had been a long time since she had done anything with her friends. It had been even longer since any of her friends (save Pinkie Pie) had invited her to do anything with them. She laid on her back and rested her head on her pillow.

What if I HAD died in that fire today? Would anypony miss me? Would anypony care? Twilight's lack of self esteem got to her as tears developed at the corners of her eyes. Am I anything more than a tag-along to them? Twilight shook the fears from her head. Tomorrow she would get answers to her questions. For now she needed sleep. It had been a long day.

The next morning was a long one for Twilight. After she and Spike had gotten up they decided to return to where the Library was and search for anything salvageable. After three hours they came to the conclusion that nothing inside had survived the fire. The entire remaining husk of the once proud tree house was now blackened. Her eyes drifted to what remained of a picture at her bedside. She picked it up with her magic. It was of her and her friends the day after she and Spike had arrived in Ponyville. After they defeated Nightmare Moon with the elements they each housed. She gazed at each one of them.

Honesty.

Loyalty.

Laughter.

Kindness.

Generosity. She looked at her own image in the photo.

Magic. Was there anything more to their friendships than that? As she stared at the picture, tears welled in her eyes. There was something missing from the picture. One more element that she wanted to see. One more element that she knew in her heart had to be a part of every good friendship.

Love. Was it there in her friendships? Or did everypony just act as a friend because it was a part of their nature?" Twilight put the photo in her saddlebag. She had some ponies to visit.

Twilight had left Spike to help Rarity for the day while she sorted out her emotional issues. She had hoped to talk to Rarity while she was there, but the unicorn had a very large order to fill and needed to immediately leave to hunt gems. So she decided to make her first trip to Sweet Apple Acres to pay Applejack a visit. The honest mare would surely be able to help Twilight figure out if she and her friends had real relationships. Only because the overly honest mare would be easily tricked into slipping up if she was hiding any true feelings from Twilight. Naturally, the hard working mare was easily found out in the fields. As usual at this time of year she was tending to her crops. She knew each tree in the orchard by name, and was currently sweet talking to massive Golden Delicious tree named "Brian."

"Hey Applejack." Twilight couldn't even fake a smile at the moment. Applejack smiled, but it quickly faded at the sight of her friend in such a state.

"Hey Twi. Doin' alright?" Twilight sighed.

"Not so much. The Princess is trying to set up a temporary living space for me, and has already sent funding to the Mayor for a new public library here in Ponyville with a full set of literature to fill it, but I am going to miss that tree. I grew really attached to it." Applejack couldn't fathom the toll it would take on her if her own farmhouse burned down.

"Ah'm just glad yer okay Twi. We all are. Anythin' Ah can help ya with?" Twilight wasn't sure how to proceed. She could be straightforward, but she didn't want Applejack getting upset. But for the first time in her life, she hadn't made a plan. She had no idea what she was going to say to her friend. She decided to try this "winging it" thing Rainbow always did.

"I'm just visiting. I figured meeting up with my friends will help give me a clear head. I certainly know I could use a good head clearing."

"Every one of us would in yer situation Twi. I can't imagine losin' mah house like that. You know what, y'all should come inside. It's high time Ah took a break anyway, and a good cup o' milk sounds good right about now." Twilight smiled.

"I'd love to, Applejack."

The Apple family home was among the most welcoming places Twilight had ever encountered. She was amazed that Applejack ever left it. Then again there wasn't much about Applejack that didn't amaze Twilight. She was the hardest working pony Twilight had ever met. Her determination on the farm matched that of Twilight when it came to studying.

"Here ya go Twi." Twilight snapped back to reality and saw a thick, yellow-white liquid in a mug in front of her. She shrugged. Applejack wouldn't give her something if it wasn't safe. It probably was simply fresh from a cow's udders. Twilight took a sip. And immediately spat it back out. It was the most foul tasting concoction Twilight had ever put in her mouth.

"Sorry to be rude, but what the hay is this stuff?!" Twilight almost screamed her question. Applejack laughed and took a long gulp from her own mug.

"It's called Bucker's Milk."

"It's called WHAT now?!" Twilight wasn't sure if she heard her friend right. Applejack laughed again.

"Bucker's Milk. Ah live off this stuff during Applebuck season. It has all the protein o' a glass o' milk, the carbs o' Granny Smith's best 'tater salad, an' the alcohol needed to ease the stress after a hard days work." Twilight pushed her mug aside.

"You know I don't drink AJ."

"Twi, ya need ta relax. Take another sip, Ah promise it won't be as bad as the first. An' it won't get ya drunk, it's just enough ta take the edge off." Twilight hesitated. She could use some relaxation. It had been a stressful day and a half. She took the cup and gave a tentative sip. Applejack was right. It wasn't so bad the second time. Twilight decided to brave a full swig. It wasn't long before she had downed the whole mug.

"Wow Twi, fer a first time drinker ya did a better job than Ah expected. Not even Ah could stomach that much milk mah first time."

"I think I can safely assume you weren't homeless when you first drank either." Twilight's remark sounded a lot snippier than she had intended. Applejack knew her friend meant no harm in what she said, but couldn't help but feel Twilight was being a little rude. She let it slide. Twilight had a lot on her mind. But she wasn't for a second going to let Twilight say she didn't have a home.

"Twi, listen here. Ya ain't homeless. Everypony in this town would gladly offer ya a place to stay. Notice how the manager o' the hotel ain't even chargin' ya fer the room right now, no matter how much ya insist on payin'? The library wasn't yer home, not ever. That tree was just a shelter fer ya. Ponyville is yer home. It don't matter where ya are here, yer gonna be home, an' you'll always have a roof over yer head. Don't ya ever go an' say yer homeless." Twilight wasn't sure what to say to that. She had always viewed the library as her home in Ponyville, not the shelter she had in her home. Perhaps the house wasn't all that important after all.

"Thank you Applejack. That's something I should have figured out myself a long time ago." Applejack smiled.

"Sometimes ya just need a friend ta shed some light on the situation instead o' figurin' it out yerself." Applejack laughed at her own comment. "That sounds like somethin' y'all could put in one o' them letter's to th' Princess." Twilight just sat still for a moment. It really did sound like it belonged in one of her letters. Perhaps she would send a letter to the Princess about that particular lesson in friendship.

"You're right AJ, it does. Anyway, I should get going. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, I know you must be busy. And thanks for the milk, although I'm not sure if I'll be drinking more of it anytime soon." Applejack laughed.

"Yer welcome ta stop by anytime ya like. Ah can always take time fer a friend. And don't ya worry none, next time I'll get ya some cider." Twilight laughed. Applejack walked her to the door. The two mares hugged and Twilight went on her way. Her visit with Applejack had proved more helpful than she had hoped. Not only did she find that she had a true friend in Applejack, but that she always had a home, even after her long time shelter had burned to the ground.

The walk to Sugarcube Corner had been shorter than Twilight was hoping. She decided to improvise with Pinkie. It's not that the party pony was dumb by any means, but visits with her tended to get a little...interesting. And Twilight wasn't sure if she was up to-

"HIYA TWILIGHT!" Pinkie Pie seemed to be hanging in the air. It was as if she was exempted from the laws of physics.

"Hi...Pinkie Pie. Um..." Twilight opted to ignore the violation of nature itself as gravity won and Pinkie Pie fell to the ground.

"What'cha doing, Twilight?" Twilight wasn't sure exactly when Pinkie's face had lodged itself only millimeters from her own, but decided that it was best not to think too hard about it.

"Umm...Actually I was hoping to talk to you." Pinkie Pie giggled.

"Well of course you were! My Pinkie Sense told me that you wanted to talk to me! You didn't have to tell me that!" Twilight was, as usual at this point in a conversation with Pinkie Pie, terribly confused.

"But you just asked...nevermind. Can we head inside?"

"Of course, it's not like Sugarcube Corner is a private house! It's a bakery, silly filly!" Twilight rolled her eyes and followed her friend into the bakery. Once inside, the two sat down. Opting to make this particular conversation as short as she could, Twilight got straight to the point.

"Pinkie, I was wondering what you've thought of the impact I've had in this town since I got here. And if I hadn't made it out of the library yesterday if I would be missed." Pinkie Pie giggled.

"Well of course we'd miss you, silly! You're like, the magicyest magical unicorn EVER! And you're the best friend anypony could have!" Twilight looked up.

"You think I'm the best friend a pony coud have?"

"Well Duh! Everypony, and I mean EVERYPONY in Ponyville loves having you here! You do nice things for everypony, and you're sooooooo much fun to hang out with! And I just know, I just KNOW that if you were paying attention, you would see that as well as I do! OMYGOSH! THE CUPCAKES ARE READY!" Pinkie Pie shot off to the kitchen. Twilight sat in silence. She didn't think that maybe she had just spent too much time lately looking at her own world to see the impact she had on the world around her. She was amazed at how insightful Pinkie Pie could manage to be. Twilight left Sugatcube Corner and made her way to the general location of Rainbow Dash's home. She wondered what Rainbow Dash would have to say. That, and she had yet to thank the pegasus for saving her life.

Twilight hated that Rainbow Dash lived in a cloud home. She respected that her friend loved the sky more than anything else, but it sure made it difficult to see the pegasus unless you were a pegasus or Pinkie Pie.

"Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Da-ash?" It was to no avail. Rainbow was likely napping. "RAINBOW DASH!" After a short while Rainbow groggily poked her head out from her porch.

"W-what? Twilight, what are you doing here so early?" Twilight gave Rainbow a deadpan stare.

"Rainbow, it's 1 in the afternoon."

"I know. Which means it's naptime." Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Look, I just wanted to thank you for saving my life yesterday. That experiment had exhausted my magic, and if you hadn't broken that door down-"

"AND moved the branch that fell in front of it. You can't forget THAT awesome feat of strength." Rainbow added with a grin. Twilight chuckled.

"If you hadn't been there I still would be." Rainbow shuddered.

"Look Twi, I don't even want to THINK about that."

"Think about what?" Twilight was confused. Rainbow had been happy to add the part about moving the branch. Why didn't she want to even think about it now?

"You dying in that fire. The thought of not having one of my best friends around every day...I just...It's too much to think about." Twilight was touched.

"I...didn't know I meant so much to you..." Rainbow flew down to Twilight.

"Twilight, of course you mean that much to me. You're one of my best friends. I flew into your library yesterday because I love you Twi." Twilight gave Rainbow an odd look. Rainbow facehoofed. "Twilight, just because I love you doesn't mean I want to be with you romantically. Sheesh. You're such an egghead, you know that?" Twilight chuckled.

"Wow Rainbow Dash, I didn't know you were capable of such feats of emotional display." Rainbow stiffened.

"Don't you tell anypony! Promise me you won't tell anypony!" Twilight chuckled.

"Don't worry Rainbow, your secret is safe with me."

"Good. Because I gotta be tough if I'm gonna join the Wonderbolts. I can't be getting slowed down by all that sappy emotional stuff."

"Don't you think you should spend less time napping if you're going to join the Wonderbolts?" Twilight asked.

"Pssh, what do you know Twi? Go read a book or something." With that, Rainbow returned to her home in the sky to pick up where she had left off. Twilight chuckled and made her way to Fluttershy's cottage. It wasn't far, and Twilight wanted to see what she would say. Twilight did know she was going to have one seriously long letter for the Princess when she was done with this.

Twilight arrived at Fluttershy's cottage just in time to hear a beautiful chorus of singing birds. Not wanting to scare the timid pegasus, Twilight simply sat and watched as she conducted the songbirds. As Fluttershy finished, Twilight made an effort to make herself noticed before actually saying hi. She stepped on a twig, making a crack just loud enough to only scare Fluttershy a little. Fluttershy squeaked and whipped around.

"Oh, hi Twilight. How are you feeling today?"

"Actually, as strange as it may seem, I'm doing great! I've been talking to all of our friends, and they've been giving me new perspectives on everything that happened yesterday. Even Pinkie Pie had something helpful to say. Well, before shooting off at Pinkie Speed as soon as her cupcakes were ready." Fluttershy giggled.

"She does that. Do you want to come inside? I could make some tea." Twilight smiled.

"I'd love to Fluttershy." Twilight stopped herself. "Umm...there's no...alcohol in this tea...Is there?" Fluttershy giggled again.

"Oh no. Why do you ask?"

"Well, earlier today I was at Applejack's, and she gave me this thing called-"

"Bucker's Milk? Oh, sorry for interrupting Twilight."

"It's alright, and yeah. Bucker's Milk. That is some awful stuff."

"Yeah, it is. Pinkie Pie is the only pony outside the Apple family that likes it."

"Of course Pinkie Pie likes it..." Twilight muttered.

"You haven't seen Pinkie Pie when she's drunk, have you Twilight?"

"No, and I'm not sure that I want to." Fluttershy opened the door to her cottage for Twilight.

"I hope you never have to."

As usual, Fluttershy made a wonderful pot of tea. Twilight wasn't sure what her friend did differently, but she wanted to find out. But for now she had more important matters to discuss. She still wanted Fluttershy's take on the events of the previous day.

"Fluttershy? Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course Twilight." Twilight hesitated. She knew that her friends were more than happy that she was alright. She knew that they would have been devastated if she wasn't. But her thirst for knowledge had led her to believe that she should not assume anything.

"How would you have reacted if I hadn't gotten out of my house yesterday?" As soon as Twilight asked the question Fluttershy's eyes welled with tears.

"I...I...Twilight...I don't..." Fluttershy jumped up and hugged Twilight. "I don't even want to think about that. It's just...too...horrible...Why would you even ask that?" Fluttershy pulled away. Twilight was more than a little confused at the actions of the timid pegasus, but she quickly recovered.

"It's just that...last night I got to thinking. If I had died in that fire, would anypony miss me? Would anypony care? So today I set out to answer that question by talking to all of my closest friends. So far, the answers I've been receiving from each of our group have led me to understand how much of a foal I was for even considering the possibility that I wouldn't be missed." As Twilight finished her sentence tears were streaming down Fluttershy's face.

"Twilight, of c-course we'd miss you! Ever since y-you came to P-Ponyville all of our lives have gotten b-better!" Twilight felt herself beginning to cry now. "H-how could you even think for a s-second that you wouldn't be m-missed?!" Now Fluttershy and Twilight were sobbing together.

"I d-don't know F-Fluttershy. I-I just...I'm so sorry!" The two mares wrapped their forelegs around each other. After a long embrace, they pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes. The crying had subsided from both of them.

"Twilight, we love you. All of us do. We always will. Don't you ever forget that." Twilight smiled.

"I won't Fluttershy. Not again. I'm sorry I ever did."

"It's alright Twilight. Just as long as you know. Listen, if you ever need somepony to talk to, I'm always available for a friend."

"As much as I'd like to stay here and take you up on that offer, I need to go get Spike and write a letter to the Princess. She'll want to know about what I've learned today." Fluttershy giggled. Twilight never failed to find a reason to write a letter to the Princess.

"Go right on ahead. Have a good day, Twilight."

"See you later Fluttershy!" Twilight stepped outside the small cottage, a warm smile adorning her face. She had learned a valuable lesson today. As she made her way to pick up Spike from Rarity's, her next letter to Princess Celestia formed in her head.

Spike was not pleased to have to leave Rarity's, but he would never go against Twilight. As hard as he had fallen for Rarity, he loved Twilight like a mother. It wasn't long before the two arrived back at the hotel they were staying at.

"Spike, take a note please. To the Princess." Spike quickly grabbed the parchment and quill next to his bed.

"Ready when you are Twi."

Dear Princess Celestia

Today I learned that their is far more to friendship than any of the Elements of Harmony could ever capture. Each element is controlled by a single driving force: Love. After my house burned down yesterday, I began to wonder if that love was truly a part of my friendships. Rarity generously offered her home as a shelter for me in the time being, but generosity is just a part of her nature. She would have done that for anypony. At least that's what I thought. I wondered if I would be missed if I had died in that fire. So I spent today talking to four of my friends, and I found out that it isn't only a part of my friendships, but that each and every one of my friends loves me more than I ever imagined. So much so that I felt like a foal for even thinking that there was a possibility that they didn't. Applejack taught me that as long as I had close friendships, I would never be without a home. Pinkie Pie taught me that in order to see the extent of my friendships I have to look outside the effect a friendship has on me and see the impact I'm having on others. Rainbow Dash showed me that none of the my friendships would mean anything if Love wasn't driving them, and Fluttershy taught me that no matter what happens, my friends will always love me and that I'll never be alone. As for Rarity, I didn't talk to her today. But after everything I learned from my other friends I know that she wouldn't have been so quick to offer up her home like that if she didn't love me just as much as they did. I will never forget the lessons I was taught today. I was a foal to ever forget in the first place.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.

Princess Celestia smiled as she set down the letter. It was about time Twilight learned that lesson. This was the letter she had been waiting to receive since the day she had allowed Twilight to stay in Ponyville. The Princess looked around her room. Her eyes fell on a picture that sat at her bedside. Celestia picked it up with her magic and held it in front of her face. The picture was almost as old as Celestia herself. It was a painting of six young alicorns, about the same age as Twilight and her friends. The original bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Each of them was still alive and well, but they hadn't seen each other in close to a thousand years. After Luna's banishment to the moon, the group of friends drifted apart, their relationships devoid of the love that held every friendship together. It warmed Princess Celestia's heart that her student could now enjoy the same friendship that she missed so much.

Author's note:

I wrote this because not long ago I myself struggled with the question that Twilight struggled with in this story. It came back into my head very recently after I was in a car accident that, for all intents and purposes, should have killed me. Like Twilight, I was able to get out of my car without a scratch beyond the burn the airbag left (The Lord shined his light on me that day). It wasn't long after I got home (and received a stern lecture from my father) that I began to question if I would  be missed in the event that I died. I decided to try and think of all the people who would be affected by my death. After roughly 10 seconds in thought, I was able to think of better than 20 people who would miss me terribly if I had died in that wreck, and a few that would be heartbroken. So know right now that if you ever feel alone, you're not. There is someone out there who loves you far more than you realize. And that person is a major part of your everyday life. All you have to do is open your eyes and your mind and see that person.

With Love and Tolerance,

Dylan Kern