Horses Are Melodramatic

by Fiddlebottoms

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 1019

No one must ever know

This story would fail moderation regardless, so, no, I won't include a description. What are ya gonna do now, ya butt?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-15 19:29:05 UTC

Part I.5 (Episode 5)

((By Bronystories))

Rape.

Lots of rape.

Jesus, you have no idea just how much rape there was. There was a lot of it. I mean, a lot. Fillies got raped, colts got raped, foals go raped, Angel Bunny got raped, Fluttershy got raped a lot because for some reason that keeps happening to her. Literally had beavers in her beaver, there was just so much rape.

After all the rape was over, Twilight returned to town to confront Trixie. Then everyone started raping some more.

That's just the way it is.

All rape, all the time.

Rape.

Part III (Episode 7)

Rainbow Dash waited. The clouds above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Wonderbolts in the Wonderbolt Academy. She didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Lightning Dust were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Rainbow was a pony for fourteen years. When she was young she watched the pegasi and he said to dad “I want to be on the clouds daddy.”

Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY TORNADOS”

There was a time when she believed him. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the Wonderbolt Academy of the Equestria she knew there were tornados.

“This is Dust” the radio crackered. “You must fight the clouds!”

So Rainbow gotted a tornado and blew up the clouds.

“IT GOING TO KILL US” said the morons in a hot air balloon.

“I will be an idiot” said the yellow pony and she forgotted how to fly. Rainbow rainbowed at her and tried to rescue her. But then the balloon fell and they were trapped and not able to fly.

“No! I must quit the Wonderbolts” Rainbow shouted

Spitfire said “No, Rainbow. You are the Wonderbolts”

And then Rainbow was led pony.

Some Period of Days Later

Later Rimjobbow Dass wsa having sex with Lightningdust becuas she was good now. But after tehy wer done she laufhed.

"Hah." seh said "taht was a trick. I am not good lkie I sad. I am alyaws evil!!" and she teird to kill her with a knife.

Rombusbow had too use her refelxes to sotp the knife and kciked her.

Scotchtapealoo ran into to see what was noise and saw that it was naked Lightningdust.

"Oh no, is Lightningdust!"

Litning Dusk tried now to kill Scottaloo but she msised and Scootaloo pncuhed her to go threw the window and she fel down and died.

"Ringwormbow" Scootaloo said and she was sad "I dont want to be train wtih you any more. I am tired of kiling." and she left.

"No! Brutaloo!" But it was teh end. Adn she nevr saw Scootaloo afetr that.

Part 0 (Episode 3)

Now neither of us will be virgins meme. Aren't I hilarious?

Yes, I thought so.

Part I (Episode 4)

"I suppose you're going to join their little club," said Silver Spoon, "what's it called, "The Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

"Why, yes, yes it is," Applebloom replied, "why do you keep asking questions with obvious answers?"

"Because, I have," Silver Spoon turned dramatically to the camera, "AMNESIA!"

"So do I!" shouted Diamond Tiara.

"So do you what?" asked Silver Spoon.

"I can't remember," the filly tapped a hoof against her nose, "why were we wandering around the outskirts of town?"

"Shouldn't we take them to see a doctor?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"You're gonna snitch on their amnesia?" demanded Babs.

"Well, um, shouldn't we ... what are we doing again?"

"I can't remember!" wailed Scootaloo, fluttering her wings and looking more adorable than should be legal.

"The amnesia must be," Applebloom turned dramatically to the camera, "CONTAGIOUS!"

Babs was the only filly who did not panic, because everyone was going to forget about her in about 10 minutes anyway. Plus her past sucked. It was dark and mysterious, and that made her angsty. King Sombra was involved somehow, or whatever.

Also, her barber was evil and kept giving her awful mane cuts. And she was named "Babs Seed."

Then they all fucked. Especially Scootaloo. She has the most adorable squeaky voice and little orange wings and her messy purple mane.

Wait, shit, I should have put a foalcon warning up at the top, shouldn't I have?

Part II (Episode 6)

Scootaloo fretted at Rainbow Dash’s hooves, terrified of discovery and also a lot of other things.

Luna appeared in the moon behind Rainbow Dash’s back, speaking directly into the filly’s mind, “You must confront your true fear.”

“I’m afraid of the headless horse!”

“Your other true fear.”

“I’m afraid of Fiscal Cliff Richards and his catchy 80’s songs about love, heartbreak and the potential of drastic cuts to public services.”

“No, Scootaloo,” the mare in the moon who was not Nightmare Moon grumbled, “your other, other true fear.”

Before Scootaloo could say anything else, the clouds beside Luna billowed, taking the form of a lion. Scootaloo’s father, Mufasa, who was totally dead, “Remember. Remember, who you are. Remem-”

The cloud lion was cut off by a cumulus cloud that climbed into the sky, taking the form of the head of a mostly hairless ape wearing sunglasses, “Scootaloo, make this old jazz man-”

The voice of Bleeding Gums Murphy was cut off by the sound of a deep, rasping voice announcing, “Scootaloo, I am ... use the ... Um, guys,” said the image of Darth Obiwan Skywalker that had appeared in the stars, “I can’t remember what I’m supposed to say. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be a reference to anymore. I think I was in Star ... Laser? Some sort of movie thing? It was popular back in the 70s.”

Rainbow Dash sighed wearily and picked Scootaloo up off the dirt, where she had collapsed. The poor, little filly seemed to be having some sort of seizure or fit. Gently, Dash wiped some foam from the corner of Scootaloo’s mouth, lifted the spasming form onto her back and flew her to the hospital.