There Will Be Fire

I woke to see the blackened walls of the once plain concrete basement. And then I remembered what happened. That crazy spider was a jumping spider, and he whizzed around the room as I sprayed a constant stream of fire after the little bugger. At least Twilight fireproofed her entire house, just in case of a dragon attack. I also found out that my fire smells like peppermint. That's quite nifty, as it means my breath will always smell fresh, yet another perk of being a dragon. I managed to squeeze my way out of the basement door. Twilight must have unlocked it.

I noticed Jacob, Twilight, and Spike all had their backs truned to me, eating breakfast while talking about me. I leaned over Jacob's spot. "Good morning." I whispered in his ear. He flailed for a second before recognizing me. He just grumbled to himself while I turned to Spike. "I don't believe we've met, buddy." I held out a claw, though it was kind of sketchy because my hand was bigger than his head. He shook it, though he looked kind of nervous.

"What's for breakfast? Pancakes? They're not gems, but it'll have to do. I'm in."

After breakfast we went outside, and I noticed ponies staring in shock as I came out following Twilight. I'm personally not surprised, but at least they trust Twilight enough to not openly question her methods. "So, Twilight. I want to help around town, but I'm not sure what I could do. No one is going to be, well, not racist." I deadpanned. She thought for a second. "How about you and Jacob go to the Carousel Boutique? Everyone here trusts Jake, and I need you to ask Rarity for some new coats. This winter's a bit colder than most." She replied. "Aight, let's go." I said, giving a thumbs up. Jacob gave Twilight a quick peck on her cheek, and we walked off.

Wait... Rewind. What?

"Are you and Twilight together?" I asked him. He facehoofed. "Yes, for a week or two. Why?" He replied. I dropped the conversation. A week or two? How long has he been here? Meh, I don't even care anymore. What? I'm not jealous or anything. I decided to change the subject. "What kind of impression do you think I left on the others?" Jacob thought for a second before replying. "Well, Dash is probably scared of you after that stunt you pulled last night. Rarity will probably judge you based off your apparell, so I'd say you're good there. You're almost as random as Pinkie, you two will probably make good friends. I'm not sure about 'Shy or Aj though." He replied finally. I faceclawed. "'After the stunt last night'? You make it sound like I tried to rape her or something." He gave me a look. "Well..." he started. "Don't." I cut him off. I don't need to hear a detailed explanation of yesterday's events. And besides, he's the only other person with OCD I know, besides Twilight. Maybe that's why they get along so well?

As we approached Carousel Boutique, I could hear Rarity fussing over some kind of coat inside. Well, I guess Rarity has OCD too. Do all unicorns have it? Then it hit me.

The snowball, I mean.

"Scootaloo!" I shouted as I glanced over my shoulder. I saw her and the other CMC run off giggling. I faceclawed yet again.

"Let's just get these coats and get out of here." I sighed, turning to my companion.

It took alot of insisting, but I finally managed to convince Rarity that I didn't need a coat, and that I like my scales just fine. Jacob just sat and watched. After we got out, we agreed that he would take our deliveries to Pinkie and Twilight, and that I would take it to Rainbow, Applejack, And Fluttershy. Shy's cottage is secluded, Dash's house is kind of floating, and Sweet apple acres is on the other side of town. I could make it everywhere faster with my wings, and I needed to make a better impression on the three of them. Win-win situation. Applejack accepted it gratefully, and I managed to convince Flutters to leat me in for a quick chat over some tea. Damn, I love tea. It somehow tastes better in Equestria, oddly enough.

I made sure to save Dash for last.

I knocked on her door. "I'm coming." A muffled voice came from inside. She opened the door, and her pupils shrank to a size I didn't think was possible. She quickly slammed the door shut. I sighed, and knocked again. "Go away!" I heard her call from inside. "Oh, come on! I just want to give you this coat!" I shouted. She opened the door just a crack, and I waved the delivery in front of her. She opened the door and gladly took the coat, putting it on. "Thanks, I guess." She told me ungratefully. "Don't mention it." I said, winking at her. I then proceeded to do a backflip off of her cloud-porch, regaining balance and charging to the library. At least Twilight told the town that I was friendly, but apparently to hide any of their pet spiders if I come to visit. As if I would visit anybody, er, anypony who is crazy enough to have a pet spider.

As I opened the door, I noticed that it was very dark in the library. As I closed the door behind me I heard a very loud "SURPRISE!" erupt from all the ponies gathered as the lights turned on. I will admit I screamed, but only a little. Turns out that Pinkie had thrown a surprise party, though I wasn't surprised that I got one, just that it had happened so soon.

I sat down beside a side table with Twilight. She was acting strange. I mean, stranger than normal. "What's bothering you?" I asked her. "Well, it's just that... um..." She stuttered. I fixed her with my best 'Are you fucking kidding me?' look. She sighed and started to explain. "It's just that Dash kind of-" She was cut off when Pinkie came out from under my hat and whispered "You Pinkie promised!" Wait.... What? I thought my hat was Attached to my head. "How did Pinkie just do that?" I asked Twilight. Suddenly I felt my jaws part and Pinkie climbed out from my mouth. "No reason, silly!" She told me. I was confused. Compuzzled, even. My mind had literally stopped working as I brainlessly tried to stutter something. I probably sat there for about five minutes, just sitting there with one eye twitching and my mouth limply hanging open.

I felt crazy. That's probably it, I'm just going insane. I mean, come on? Ponies? I'm a sexy dragon? ......Personal witness to the fourth wall being broken? Magic? Giant spiders? I grinned stupidly as I fell to the floor, chuckling. Ponies gathered around me as I lay on the floor laughing manaically. Jacob facehoofed. "He's lost it."

I giggled as some ponies in white came to take me away. "When did I have it in the first place?" I asked, smiling as I was put in a strange vest and dragged me away.

"Well, that's one way to end a party."