The Wrong Stallion

Flim and Flam, or to put it bluntly a bunch of sly talking brothers that constantly try and weasel ponies out of their things using their charismatic ways. Though they suffered a huge setback after making a huge flaw in Ponyville they still manage to go town to town swindling ponies for just about everything they could. They had built themselves a massive empire out of sheer swindling and pulling strings so to speak.

Out in a beautiful country side sat Mr. Wright, he was an earth pony stallion with an average build and rather gruffly face with stubble. He had navy blue fur and a short brown mane. He had enlisted in the Equestrian military at 18 years old and retired at 40 after serving 22 years in the infantry and he well deserved his peace. After retiring he bought a lot of land equalling well over 400 acres in land mass and built himself a house and panted fields of lemon trees. He didn’t really have to sell lemonade, he made enough money on his military pension, but he did anyway figuring that he could make other ponies happy.

Several ponies waited in line for some of his delicious lemonade. “Thank you Mr. Wright you have yourself a nice day” said one of the ponies as she left with her glass of lemonade. Wright thought that pure lemonade was a little too strong but mixed with a bit of water it tasted rather fine. Living alone and not having any ranch ponies meant he couldn’t produce enough lemonade for every-pony that came by in a day but he kept them rather satisfied and spent the majority of his days making lemonade by himself.

He stood up “sorry every-pony but I’m out of lemonade again, come back tomorrow they’ll be more” Wright told the line-up and several ponies let out sighs and started walking away. Suddenly, some kind of train looking thing zipped down the road. Two stallions dressed in ridiculous clothing hoped off and a blue pony with a wizard cape and hat stayed sitting on the train thing.

The brothers did some sort of musical rhyme about ponies not having enough lemonade and how they should “never fear for the brothers are here”. Wright chuckled “think of that one all night or are you guys leprechauns” Wright laughed. They continued their rant about how they could make more lemonade than he could, Wright sighed “yeah that’s wonderful, so why don’t you go bugger off into town and sell lemons” Wright asked and the brothers looked at each other than to Wright. “Well my dear sir, it would seem that you own the only lot with lemon trees” the brother with the mustache informed him.

Wright chuckled “yeah cause I planted just about every single one of them with my bare hooves” Wright told them with a nod. “Ah, a hard working pony, tell you what my fine sir, how would you like to go into business with us” the stallion without a mustache asked. “No, I’m retired” Wright told them, “ah, well how’s about we buy your farm and give you a percent of the profit” the brother with the mustache informed him.

Wright turned “no, I spent the last 5 years setting this place up, I had to pay ponies to keep it nice while I was serving” Wright told them. “Ah but wait, let me introduce ourselves” the mustache stallion said “for I am Flam and this is my brother” and the other stallion piped up “Flim and never forget the newest addition” he said and all that was missing was the drum roll as the mare on the train thing lept off. “I am The Great and Powerful Trixie” she exclaimed. Wright buried his hoof into his face, ‘are these clowns for real?’ he asked himself.

“No sale, sorry to disappoint you” Wright told them and began to leave, “ah but wait, Mr.…” Flam trailed off. “Wright” Wright informed him of his name. “Ah Mr. Wright please don’t throw away such a good business opportunity” Flam said. “Listen, guys and gal, I’m not selling and that’s all there is to it” Wright told them and began to leave. “How about a duel” Trixie offered, Wright rolled his eyes and turned around “I don’t like violence” he told them and the trio chuckled “of course not a real duel, we meant whoever produces the most lemonade wins the bill for the land” Flam suggested.

“No, no sale, no duel… now have a nice day” he told them and went to leave again. “What’s wrong granddad? Chicken?” he asked and Wright let out an almost animalistic snarl, he was starting to get irritated by their behaviour. “No, now see you later” he scowled and walked down his ever so long dirt road that led to his house.

Finally reaching his house he sat down and soaked in the afternoon sun and pulled out a cold glass of lemonade. He sat there and enjoyed the afternoon figuring he’d take the rest of the day off.

Not even an hour had passed when suddenly the train thing came racing down the laneway, along with a large group of ponies. Flim and Flam quickly hoped off and ran up to him. Wright let out an annoyed groan, “What? I thought I told you to leave me alone?” Wright asked and the brothers laughed. “Ah but you see you have to accept our challenge, it’s the law” Flam told him and they began to sing a rant.

Wright leaned back and grabbed his old double barrel 12 gauge shotgun and leveled it at the two ridiculous bothers. “I hate violence but you try and take over my land and I’ll kill yah both” he threatened and they stopped ranting and took a cautious step back. “Uhm Trixie… a little help” Flim gasped, Trixie let out an irritated scoff as she hoped off the train thing and pulled out a scroll “to all land owners selling market goods, if you are challenged to a competition duel for most quality and quantity production for land rights the owner must accept these terms, signed Princess Celestia” Trixie said outloud so every-pony could hear.

“Give me that” Wright said as he snatched the scroll from her magic aurora. “Fuck, shit… mother fucker” Wright yelled as he threw the scroll to the ground in disbelief that Celestia would make such a rule. “Well how bout it then, will you sell us the property or will we have to take it from you?” Flim asked. “It’s a duel” Wright said, accepting the duel. “Trixie, if you would read out the guidelines” Flam said and Trixie read out the guidelines for the duel. “Only the landowner may compete against the Flim and Flam brothers and no-pony is to interfere, if there is interference from either side the opposing team wins. Each team has only 1 hour to produce as much lemonade as possible… any questions?” Trixie asked.

Wright couldn’t believe this bullshit, he was going to have a talking with Celestia after this. Wright sat down at his lemonade making stand and the contest began.

* * *

The duel could be described simply as over before it began, Wright was only able to produce 3 barrels of lemonade yet the train machine created over 50. Flim and Flam walked up and Flam extended his hoof “the deed to the property please” he sneered. Wright snarled and handed him the deed reluctantly “you have one full day to completely remove yourself from the property, after that you will be considered a trespasser and will be charged accordingly, all of you belongings are still yours except for anything that was mentioned in the deed such as… oh well it was just a clear lot so everything is yours” Flam said as he examined the bill of sale.

“That’s right, so in that 24 hours I’m gonna raze this place to the fucking ground, you won’t be left with shit, and on top of that you’re going to have to pay for the pollution fee” Wright laughed. The brothers eyes went wide “no… we’d simply fine you for the damages and for starting a fire on our property” Flam exclaimed. Wright chuckled and pointed to the train “see that trail of fluid coming from the thing… that’s gasoline, had a hole in its tank the entire time, a random spark ignited the fuel and burned down the property and on top of that the trees are technically mine anyway” Wright countered and the brothers both gulped, that sort of fine for pollution damage could possibly bankrupt them, 400 acres of land pollution at 5000 bits an acre.

“We’ll give you a percent of the company” Flim offered, “go to hell” Wright scoffed. Trixie hoped down “looks like I have to settle things again. Listen Wright, we have witnesses that just heard you say you’d burn down the property, on top of that because the trees are technically part of the earth than it’s theirs so I’d reconsider if I were you” she said with a sly smile and Wright snarled.