Zombie Plan

by Gilimmar

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random
Length: 980

Rainbow Dash has it all planned out. Do you?

Rainbow Dash has it all planned out. Do you?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-16 21:50:01 UTC

This is Literally the Entire Story

Standing on top of the base, a mare in a lavender EPS (Environmental Protection Suit) took off her helmet and put it on the ground. Her mane fell into her vision, and she blew it to the side. The wind was blowing softly, and the sun was shining onto the trees- it was quite a sight to behold. Her coat was purple, with a slightly darker mane and a pink highlight. The base wasn't that tall, and Pinkie was working on her ATV+- it was pretty much a big ATV with the ability to roll back over when tipped and could hold five passengers. The base had blue decor here and there, and wasn't very menacing.

"EXACTLY! They'll never see us comin'..." Applejack had said when it was fully built. Twilight had tried to explain that it couldn't move, but Applejack was taking in to much pride from her sister's achievement  to notice. And yes, it was built by Applebloom.

"Ah,  what a wonderful day to have-"

"Hey, Twi!"

"...great." Rainbow had her heart in the right place- no, really, she did- but she was brash and made bad decisions if given the choice whilst under pressure. Her armor was light blue, and she had a rainbow mane. She was very capable, no doubt, but her ego was more an obstacle than anything else in the air, even the changeling queen, Crysalis.

"You really need to get it together." she said, taking off her own helmet.

"Get what together?" asked Twilight- she'd been here with the others for a month on guard duty, an if there was something wrong, she needed to fix it. "I don't think I'm doing anything wrong."

"Oh, yeah? Than tell me this, Twi: What's your zombie plan?"

"My what?"

"There are two types of ponies in the world, Twi..." she said, pulling her friend in close with a foreleg. "There are ponies prepared for when the zombie apocalypse starts, and then there are those who aren't. We call those last ponies 'Dinner'."

"Nopony does that!" replied Twilight- this was really annoying. First, she's approached about how she'll handle a 'Zombie Apocalypse', than she's give a lecture about it.

"I'm going to Wolaska, because zombies have no body heat! They'll freeze like corpse-sickles, it's brilliant!"

"Nopony else thinks about stuff like that!"

"Hey, Pinkie!" called Rainbow.

"Yes, Rainbow?" asked Pinkie, who had somehow popped up behind her. Taking off her helmet, she exposed her pink, poofy mane.

"What's your zombie plan?" she asked.

"Well, I've got two weeks worth of food stored in my attic. Then, I just climb up and pull up the ladder with me!"

"What! And what happens after two weeks?"

"Oh, you'd like to know, wouldn't you? Sorry! It's confidential."

"Oh, come on!" said Twilight- despite the fact this was all nonsense, she hated not knowing things.

"You still doing Wolaska?"

"You know it!"

"You'll never make it, Rainbow! They'll throw zombies at you faster than you can say 'oh, horse feathers!'"

"I'm just going to have to take that risk!"

"Good luck to you, Rainbow."

"And to you to, Pinkie."

"Are you guys brain-damaged?" she asked, as this seemed to be coming up as a serious health concern.

"Hey, yah knuckleheads! What's all the yammerin' about?" asked Applejack, who had come up the stairs when she heard the argument.

"Hey, Applejack. Do you have a quote-zombie plan-unquote?" said Twilight, laughing to herself from the brilliance of asking another, sane, normal pony.

"Zombie plan!? Of course not!" she exclaimed. This was all Twilight needed to end this ridiculous discussion, to show them that the world isn't full of people who conspire about zombie plans.

"See, I told you-"

"I have THIRTY-SEVEN different zombie plans!"

"Wow, now that's preparation! I'm seriously impressed, Applejack!"

"Don't be, Dash! In thirty-six of the thirty-seven planes, I use the car to lure them while making my escape from the legions of the undead!"

"Well, at least there's one plan where I-"

"In the thirty seventh plan, I knowingly inject myself with a zombie virus, just so I can devour you!" Twilight couldn't help but think she'd be laughing hysterically if it weren't for the implications of that statement.

"AJ, you've GOT to be pulling my leg."

"Why do you think I carry a shotgun with me at all times? You've gotta be ready to act on a moments notice! HIYA!" she said bucking her legs with a force that would crack a mountain.

"Guys, with all the problems in the world, I can't believe you'd spend all your time thinking about- what was that?" she said, as the other base's team came out from the forest. They were covered in a green muck, which looked a lot like-

"EGADS! THE REDS HAVE BEEN EVICTED!"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in my attic!"

"Hello, Juno! C'mon, Twi- It's always funner in pairs!" she said, flying away with Twilight on her back.

"Wait! Pinkie! I need to use that car for most of my plans!" yelled Applejack, running after the car and jumping in the back.

"But!-what!-how!-!"

"Hey, Rarity! How long do you think they'll keep running?" asked a mare in a white suit, which was actually Derpy Hooves.

"Oh, probably for a while. In the meantime, we get their flag and they have messenger duty."

"Oh, my...I hope they'll be okay..." said Fluttershy.

"What's the worst that could happen?" asked Spitfire, shrugging it off.

-Juno-Train Station-1500 PM-

"Ah...heh...I guess it wasn't a zombie attack." said Rainbow, boarding the train with Twilight.

"Of course not. Now get back here! You're due for messaging duty tonight." she said as the radio turned off.

"C'mon, Twi...I'm beat, and need some relief." she said. Twilight, who was only to happy to help, jumped into the bed with her and they had some rather pleasurable...'Relief.'"

END