Hard as a Rock

by Regidar

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1154

Discord's lost the Chaos War, and wants to get one last thing done...

Discord's lost the Chaos War. That much he knows. So, in one final act, he decides to take care of some business...

Oh gos, help me, I've turned into Rapetrain-Express.

Published 2012-12-17 06:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-17 06:20:01 UTC

Hard as a Rock

This was not a good day for Discord. His forces had been usurped by the rebel sisters, Celestia and Luna. He had been forced back into the Everfree where the Chaotic Chaos Castle, formerly Everfree Palace, was located. The castle was his fortress of solitude, or rather, his fortress of Cotton Candy.

“It is quite annoying how the royal sister think they can just come in and ruin my perfectly chaotic reign,” Discord moped. “Sure, technically I’m the usurper here, but that’s not important right now.”

Discord sighed and looked around, the cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk, the trees surrounding the palace dancing the conga, and his pet cats tap dancing while the plumpest of them played a trout like the bagpipes.

“To think that this will all be gone soon...” Discord had given himself up. He knew that the royal sisters would arrive any hour now, with the Elements of Harmony. Said Elements were the only thing to be able to stop him. The alicorns had already tried the Elements of Rock'n'Roll, the Elements of Nature, and the Elements of Pancakes. None were particularly effective, but the Elements of Pancakes made quite a delicious pancake.

But now, they had the Elements of Harmony, and Discord’s chaos empire was coming to an end. All the draconequus could do was flee back to his fortress of chaoticity.

“Well,” he said, sighing again. “If I’m going out, might as well jack it. I can imagine nothing worse than having blue balls for eternity in stone.”

Discord plopped down on the ground and rubbed his gentile area. He began to think about all the perverted thought that constantly swarmed through his chaotic mind, and focused them down into one disgusting fantasy.

Discord took his sexy lion paw and began to stroke his reptilian phallus. He imagined the soft, sticky cotton candy vag of the cotton candy pony named Bane. He was BORN in the dark. A very sexy dark, a dark so dark that it made Discord wish he could ejaculate at this very moment. In fact, this dark was so enriching, that even DarkWing had to take a liking to it.

You will now read this story in Bane’s voice.

He imagined the warm, fluffy tubes enveloping his hardened dick. Just then, by a strange coincidence, a variation of John Lennon’s episcopal “Imagine” started playing.

“Imagine there’s no foal sex laws
You can fuck anyone you want

You can just grab a little school filly
And make her suck your cock
Imagine all the sex you could have

Imagine you can fuck your children
It isn’t hard to do
Their screams will mean nothing
And they’ll have to enjoy it too
Imagine a place where I can rape them all in peace

You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you join us
And help us fuck everyone

Imagine no inhibitions
I wonder if you can
No need for morals or decency
My cock already throbs in my hand
Imagine an orgy with the whole world

You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you join us
And help us fuck everyone!”

That was just the beginning of his sexual exploits. Next, he imagined male pegasus, black maned and brown coated, laying in front of him. He grasped the balls of the male and rubbed them around, causing the equine's prick to expose itself. He grasped it firmly, and rubbed it up and down with his taloned hand. The pegasus’s wings fluttered and with a moan, he ejaculated upon Discord’s chest.

Discord’s eyes rolled up in his head, and he began to gasp. He was nearing the end. Just one last fantasy...

Both of the royal sister were kissing. Celestia’s tongue brushed over Luna’s. Discord was so unbelievably close. Both of the sisters broke their kiss, a bit of saliva attaching the royal mouths. Slowly, they crept over to Discord, and were just about to put their mouths on his dick-

“Oh sweet Faust, I’m cumm-”

“We’ve got you know Discor- OH MY FAUST!” Celestia and Luna came bounding out of the forest together, but Celestia’s epic one-liner was cut short by the sight that met them.

Discord rolled his eyes. “Do you mind, I just want to-”

“NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!” Celestia and Luna were screaming in horrific unison. Together, they shot a blast directly from the Elements of Harmony into Discord’s crotch.

“NO!” Screamed the spirit of chaos as he slowly turned to stone outward from his now harder member. “This isn’t fair! I was so close! Nooo-!” Discord was now a frozen statue of a very pissed off draconequus masturbating.

Celestia looked at the statue with disgust. “Now, we can’t have that around, can we?”

Luna licked her lips. “We don’t know, sister... it’s very aesthetically pleasing...”

Celestia gave her younger sister a horrified look. “We have taken that into account, and are most certainly not having this around anymore.” Luna shot her sister an annoyed glance, but Celestia payed no mind. Using her alicorn magic, she reshaped Discord into a more G-rated position.

Two-thousand, twenty-five years, seven months, two minutes, eighteen seconds, five explosions, two movings, three rebellions, one evil transformation, four treacherous realtors, and sixteen plumbing accidents later, Discord was on the precipice of being able to escape from his stone tomb. With all the discord and disharmony surging into him as of late, he was almost powerful enough to break free.

“I will be able to blow my load after all this time!” Discord would have cum right then and there if the stone hadn’t prevented him from doing so.

Misty Pines, a young mare, and gardener to the Canterlot Palace, looked up at the statue. “Hm. I wonder if those cracks are supposed to be there...”

In a bright burst of orange light, the statue exploded outward, showering the mare with small pieces of rocks. Misty Pines shielded her eyes from the explosion, and looked back up to see a very horny looking draconequus with a deranged look in his eyes.

“Sorry about this, it’s urgent.” Discord grabbed her head, and shoved it onto his cock. The mare gagged, and felt the surge of salty, warm cum. Her cheeks bulged with the chaotic seed, and soon it began shooting out of her nose is small little jets. After a few more minutes of splooging, it began to pour from her ears. Misty Pines’s stomach was ballooning from the sheer amount of semen being pumped into her system.

After about twelve minutes, Discord pulled out, and fell onto his back. “Sorry, two-thousand years I’ve been saving that one...”

Misty Pines gagged for a few moments before throwing up around a gallon of chaos seed. She wiped her mouth, and shrugged.

“Eh, I’ve had better.”