Strange Hooves

“I suppose you have a lot of questions for me.”

“Well, um. Are you okay?”

Well, this wasn't the question I was expecting.

“In a word….

maybe.”

It looks down at its injuries, obviously remembering something bad.

“What’s wrong? Maybe I can help.”

“Well…

it might help if I tell you a story…”

Everypony is now attentively listening, no longer caring about the fact that it is now talking in Equestrian.

“I… come from a far land. Far enough that no one (including me) has ever heard of this place, or its inhabitants.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…” Rainbow Dash interrupts, “What’s your name?”\

QUICK THINK

“My name is Mike Alpha.”

Close enough.

“And this… is the story about the time I ran away from everything I thought I knew. The deed would’ve been bad enough… if it wasn’t for the fact that I would die if I stayed.”

Music for the lulz

This entices a collective gasp from the group.

“Yes. Everything went from bad to worse as a panic crisis gripped the land, turning good, honorable citizens into horrible monsters. They were branded by a bunch of fantastic names such as bloodsuckers, vampires, werewolves…”

It paused for a bit.

“…zombies. The last bit was particularly popular. I refuse to believe such stories. They’re just crazy. I refuse.

It can’t be.”

It holds its arms again.

“They still came for blood, those crazy cannibals. They’re a coming. They’s aa  c-coming. Yes. So, after a while… I ran. I ran from everything and fled into the wood. Several weeks of living (somewhat) off the land, nearly starving and freezing to death each night really wasn’t much of an improvement.”

The ponies gather closer.

“After a while, the wilderness changed. There were now monsters in there that make me miss the zom—crazies. They are crazies. They are not zombies.

…

After a few weeks of aimlessly fighting for my life yet again, I saw this town. I could not believe my eyes. Previously, equines in my land were little more than animals. Here, though…”

It looks to all the ponies, clearly confused and trying to wrap their heads around this prospect.

“*Sigh* I’m sorry if offended any of you.

My plan was to make a breadcrumb trail so that first contact would proceed without outside interference. I can honestly say that I thought I was being arrested when I heard you.”

It turns to Twilight Sparkle, still on the couch.

“Why would I be arresting you?”

“Well, I left a mysterious note with only my handprint on it. My deductions led me to believe that you thought it was a threat.

Also, it was fortunate that I was able to defeat the Hydra.”

Rainbow Dash now joined in. “How’ja do it, anyway?”

It turned to Rainbow Dash. “Sheer, dumb luck. Also, keep a respectable distance from me, please.”

Tears again can be seen in her eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for that.”

“Yes, I saw that when you hugged me, crying for all you’re worth.”

Rainbow Dash suddenly tenses up; trying her best to repair her image, but the damage had already been done in her friends’ eyes. Again, to everyone’s surprise, Rainbow Dash again tackled the thing in a hug, again, the thing goes wide-eyed in shock. Again surprising everyone present, the thing hugs back, speaking, but with a softer voice.

“Shh. I forgive you. It’s alright. No damage done, but it does make for an interesting story.”

Ha! If I tried telling this story to anybody back home, they’d accuse me of a lot of things.

“So you really do forgive me?”

“Of course.

How rude of me. I haven’t taken the time to let you all properly introduce yourselves.”

Here we go. Let’s see what kinda things cartoon ponies call themselves.

“I’m Rainbow Dash.” She back off in order to join the others.

Well, that’s rather obvio—wait.

A realization and familiarity comes across its eyes, jaws dropping in realization.

Why didn’t I recognize any of this? Is this a dream? *What. The. Dickens is My Little Pony doing, being real and all*?

It screams in terror, startling everypony.

Is there something terrible about rainbows where it comes from?

Twilight Sparkle covered her ears on reflex. It stopped screaming, and it collapsed to the floor.

It sprang into a sitting position again, and turns to Applejack.

“PUNCH ME.  PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.”

“Well, what the hay would I do that for?”

“I WANT TO KNOW IF I’M REALLY AWAKE.”

“No.”

It shakes its head.

Just don’t think about it, and you won’t go batnonsense insane.

“Sorry. Just had a moment. Yeah letsmoveonkokay? Okay. What’s your name?”

It turns to Twilight Sparkle.  She pauses for a moment, and…

“Oh! My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Andmine’sPinkiePie!”

“You may address me as Rarity.”

“You can call me Applejack, sugahcube.”

“Oh, um.  I’m Fluttershy.”

"*ahem* I'm Spike!"

Okay. Myth Confirmed.

Don’t let them know about this.

This could get awkward.

Must… not… freak out.

It takes a deep breath, and seems to settle down.

“Nice to meet you all. “

“So, um. Mike, could you tell me if you’re feeling okay?”

“Well, considering what happened…

Yes. I feel fine. Whoever patched me up definitely knows their craft.”

“Oh, thank goodness. I hoped I had done all I can.”

Rainbow Dash seems to be struck with a thought.

“Just… what are you, anyway?”

“What? You never see a human before?”

Everypony shakes their heads.

“Well, I’ve never seen talking ponies before so we’re on the same page here.”

Liar.

Shut up, you.

**No you.

“Now, what can you tell me about those clothes you’re wearing, hmm?”

“Um. We Humans wear clothes, since we don’t have fur all over.”

Understandable, really. I just don’t like the color. I'll have to see about that.

“Very well… I see… That remind me, I need to get back to the Boutique. I do have my business to attend to.”

Rarity skips off  with Spike, a dignified “ta!” as her exit, stage right, and leaves everyone else in the cottage.

Applejack also takes her leave with a respectful farewell, and leaves to go attend to the Apple Farm.

Pinkie Pie gasps, and then speeds off without her hooves even touching the ground, leaving 3 ponies and the human.

Rainbow Dash leans over to the thing, whispering,

“Rarity’s gonna try to sow you something, just so you know.”

“S-something, you say?”

“Well, yeah. They are pretty cool, though.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“Gotta Dash!”

Rainbow Dash sped out of the house, undoubatly longing for the skies again after such an interesting day.

Twilight asked, “How did you just learn Equestrian?”

“Magic?” It shrugs with its shoulders and arms.

That is not the truth. There must be scientific reasons.

Well, what, then?

You do have a point.

Wait, am I thinking to myself?

Yes.

…okay.

“Oh, that must be it.” Twilight Sparkle pondered a bit about how this can occur.

It suddenly reaches for its stomach, expression changing from one of bewilderment to one of concern. Fluttershy squeaked and shoved it over, hooves searching for the bandages. Finding them unharmed, she gives a sigh of relief, and looks to the things face as it looks back with an eyebrow raised.

“I’m sorry if I startled you. I just can’t see anyone get hurt, including you. I was so worried about you.”

“Thanks, Fluttershy. I probably wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for you.”

It grabs Fluttershy in another hug, and she seems to cheer up.  It releases Fluttershy, and she goes to sit next to Twilight on the couch.

“What was the matter, then, Mike?”

“I just realized that I haven’t eaten in a day.”

Twilight snaps out of her thoughts. “What do you eat, anyway?”

“I am an omnivore.”

Twilight has heard of this term before, but not often. It means something eats both plants and animals.

“Twilight, are you okay?”

“Fluttershy, don’t you know what omnivore means?”

“Doesn’t it mean it can eat both plants and anima—”

They both look at Mike with scared expressions, and it just looks back with them with an annoyed look.

It brings its paws up into a hungry-looking pose, and it hisses.

“HSSSSSSSSSSSSS”

Both girls scream, holding onto each other.

“Stop! I don’t want to eat you. Probably get sick if I tried. I mostly eat baked goods and the like.”

“S-so you have eaten animals before?” Fluttershy turns a sick shade of yellow.

“Well…

yes.”

“Why would you eat poor, defenseless creatures?”

“To remain healthy, you gotta understand. I haven’t actually killed anything and eaten it. Before I came here, people would actually raise animals for this very purpose. To be eaten.”

The ponies hold onto each other a little bit tighter, and this causes Mike to scratch his head in shame.

“They are well taken care of. Before they die of natural age, the animals are put to sleep humanely. Then they are processed into food.

Yeah. What do you eat?”

Twilight now adds to this nervous conversation.

“Hay, vegetables and the l-like. Don’t hurt us.”

At this, Mike gets a little upset.

“Why would you assume this? If I had wanted to hurt any of you, I would’ve already done so. I wouldn’t have saved you. I—I’m sorry, ok? This is who I am.”

It looks down at the pink blanket it’s in. Both Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle seem to calm down, letting go of each other.

It laughed a bit.

“I guess I’m just a monster.”

“Ooh. Is that what you think I think? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

She hugged it again, hooves around its neck this time, with whispers only they can hear.

Tear again can be seen in its eyes, and it mutters,

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” With a smile, Fluttershy pulls away and goes out of the room with

“I’ll be right back.”

This leaves Twilight with Mike, the thi—human.

“How did you do it? I mean, Hydras aren’t easy to kill.”

It tenses up, grimacing.

“Oh yeah. The hydra. I had a knife with me, and—my knife.”

It looks to the door, and tries to get up, stopping due to the pain in its chest.

“Ack—my knife.”

A curious gaze from Twilight.

“The metal thing.”

“Oh, that thing. Was that what you used to kill it? I mean, that isn’t easy to do.”

“Yeah.”

“I can't get it, but maybe Fluttershy can.Fluttershy?”

“Is there anything wrong, Twilight?”

“It would seem that Mike has left it—“

Another freeze-up from Twilight. She turns to Mike and asks,

“Are you a he or a she?”

“He.”

“Okay then. Mike wants his metal thingy back.”

“Okay, Twilight. I’m heading back, anyway.”

Fluttershy comes back into the front room, Basket full of apples in mouth. She sets it down, and asks,

“I hope you can eat apples.”

“I certainly can, Ms. Fluttershy. Thank you.”

With a hunger that rivals that of Spike’s desire for gems, Mike digs into the basket and hungrily eats.

Sweet, sweet stuff.

Fluttershy turns to Twilight.

“So he wants the thing back? It seems dangerous, doesn’t it?”

“Well, he did use it to save my life.”

“Um… fair enough. I’ll get it.”

Fluttershy leaves the cottage to the Unicorn and the Human, whom has finished.

“That’s my first real meal in weeks, if not months.”

“You don’t say?”

“Yeah, I don’t have a lot of opportunity to eat in the wilderness.”

Both had run out of things to say.

Fluttershy comes back in, looking down in disappointment.

“I couldn’t find it, Mike. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I probably wouldn’t need it anyway.”

Is that true? Have I really gone to the bananas? Only time will tell, man. Meanwhile… I have no idea about what I’m going to

do.

“I think I’m fine. Just let me get up.”

Fluttershy walks over to Mike as he slides the blanket off of himself, struggling to get up. It seems to try and use its hands as a means of stabilizing himself as he lifts his legs under. Finally up and standing at its full height, he seems truly to be something not to be trifled with.

“Thank you for your hospitality, but I do wish do leave.  Good day.”

With a respectful bow, Mike staggers to the door.

“Wait, but… you’re hurt. You should really rest, just like Twilight.”

“I’ll be back, Ms. Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy somehow hides behind her hair and something is heard underneath.

“Just call me Fluttershy, please.”

“Okay, Fluttershy, Twilight.”

A nod towards the now-sleepy unicorn does little to reassure Fluttershy as Mike ducks under the door frame to get out. The door closes behind him as Fluttershy tries to decide what to do.

It seems he can take care of himself, but with Twilight here, I can’t go after him.

“Fluttershy, what’s wrong? Shouldn’t you, you know, go after him?”

“You’ll be fine, right?”

A nod from Twilight.

Fluttershy uncharacteristically shoots out the door in the search for Mike, her eyes searching from a new pegasi-eye view,

but something’s wrong.

He’s nowhere to be seen. I don’t understand this.

After several more minutes of fruitless search, fluttershy goes back inside her cottage to relay the news to her friend.

Meanwhile, outside, a bush rustles as Mike makes his way back into the Everfree forest, heart pounding. He steps lightly into the forest, unknowing of what’s in there, and uncaring, too, as there’s probably nothing bad in there. Probably.

“What do you mean, he just vanished? But I…

What?!”

“I’m so sorry, Twilight. Now that I think about it, he could’ve just hid under my porch or something.”

“Where could he go now?”

GASP

They both come to the same conclusion.

“Not the Everfree forest!”

Twilight speaks next.

“This could be bad. What do we do?”

Fluttershy seems to shift somehow, and a new change of tone of voice and expression, along with shrinking irises, scares Twilight.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get him.”

She calmly strides out the door, leaving Twilight to wonder just what’s going on.