What It Means to Be Me

by CanterlotGuardian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Sad, Lyra, Romance, Princess Luna
Length: 7275

Derpy and a human have a life-changing conversation.

Princess Celestia has invited representatives from every race to come to Canterlot for a conference on equality amongst the regions. One of the attendees, though, is rather interesting... He calls himself a "human," but the Equestrian guard has no record of any humans ever being in Equestria... or of Celestia having invited one to the conference.

So how did he get here? Was he really invited by Princess Celestia? And what will happen when the first pony he meets is everyone's favorite wall-eyed mare...?

Story tagged for "Romance", but there won't be any Derpy-on-human dating or anything like that. It's for other pairings that will be showing up.

Published 2012-12-20 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-20 01:30:01 UTC

"Safe" Is Something Valuable Here

The night-time sky hung like a tapestry set against the backdrop of the rolling Canterlot hills. The stars shone in perfect unison; not a single one was outshone by another. Even the fabled Bit Dipper was visible in the sky that night, and its presence in the nocturnal sky was a rare sight, indeed.

For one pony, staring out at the night, these were just a few of the details that her mind’s eye took in. She was not really paying attention to one thing in particular, though. Her mind was on matters that took on much more importance than the landscape that presented itself to her.

This was not a slight on her sister’s handiwork, not in the least. Celestia simply had other things that she was having to deal with.

The door to the balcony opened, and soft hoof-falls could be heard. The princess of the night had come to check up on her older sister. She respectfully closed the door behind her.

No need for any possible prying ears to hear something they shouldn’t have.

Luna walked up to her sister and stood next to her, not saying a word. This was not any sort of official royal procedure or the like; it was simply her way of showing respect and deference to Celestia.

After a few moments, Celestia spoke, her voice wavering in confidence: “My dear sister… Nothing of this sort has ever been attempted before. This is placing a good deal of faith in my leadership abilities-“

“Which nopony in their right mind would even dare question.”

Celestia smiled, for what seemed like the first time in ages. “Thank you, my sister, for the vote of confidence, but it is to be expected from you. You have seen everything that has happened to this dear land of ours, and I know that you believe me to be a good and capable ruler.” She kept staring out at the night sky. “The problem is… I don’t know if I quite feel that way. Not about this.”

“What about this is different?” Luna questioned.

She finally turned to face her younger sister. “I have had a vision for this day for quite a while. Representatives coming from all around Equestria, coming together and uniting for one common goal…”

“Equality.”

Celestia nodded. “That is right, my sister. If we are to continue to prosper and grow, we must not let such two-bit matters as prejudice and bias drive us apart.” Her mane and tail were starting to glow slightly now; this normally happened when she was about to deliver a speech that she felt particularly strong about.

“We are not all cut from the same cloth, sister. Some of us have chosen to follow different paths than others. Some choose to love in different ways than others. Even more obvious than these is the fact that we are of different races, different species. But does any of this matter in the long run?”

“No, sister.”

Celestia smiled once more. “And that proves to me, my dear, that your heart is truly in the right place. Yes, you are absolutely right. None of those things changes the fact that at the end of the day, everyone is equal. Whether others choose to admit that or not is their own prerogative. It does not change the truth, though.”

She noticed that her younger sister was smiling at her, and she cocked her head a bit in confusion. “What are you smiling about, dear Luna?”

Luna crossed the few steps of distance that remained between them, and brushed Celestia’s cheek gently. Such a tender display of affection was rare for the princess of the night, and it caught Celestia off guard even more than the smile had.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Luna said after a moment. “Your vision is the right one, and your heart is on the right track. As long as you do not lose your passion for this, which I have no doubt at all will never happen, then this day will prove to be everything that you want it to be.”

Celestia’s heart was brimming with love for Luna. The love was always there, but now to see her be there for her in the time when she needed it the most… It warmed her heart in a way that not even the sun itself could.

She kissed her younger sister gently on the crown of her head. “With you and I together, sister, we can do anything.” She smiled softly. “Let us retire to our rooms. We will need all our energy to get through today.”

Just a few hours later, the two princesses stood at the front of the royal Canterlot auditorium. The room was packed to the sides with representatives from all of the regions, just as Celestia had requested. Every race, every tribe was represented.

Celestia leaned in imperceptibly and whispered to her sister, “The representatives from Ponyville are all here, correct?”

Luna scanned the crowd, looking for the three ponies that had been chosen to be Ponyville’s representatives at this momentous event. She spotted them, all three sitting together closer to the middle of the room. Of course, Twilight Sparkle was there; she was Celestia’s student, after all, and besides that Celestia had thought it would be an excellent learning experience for her young student.

Sitting beside her, to her right, was Lyra Heartstrings. Her human history had not always been well-accepted by the pony community at large, but she had still kept on strong with her beliefs. This had convinced Celestia that she had been a prime candidate to attend the event.

But then there was Celestia’s third choice. Luna could not deny that she was happy to see her old friend Ditzy Doo at the event- or Derpy, as the Ponyville residents had taken to affectionately calling her- but she wondered what she thought of the “honor”.

As far as she knew, Ditzy just wanted to live her life as normally as possible. She had secured the position of Ponyville’s primary mailmare, and she had done well enough in that role to be able to hire on a few other workers to assist her in the mail-delivering duties. She took care of her younger sister, Dinky, in spite of being the only working member of her household.

Looking at her now, Luna wondered what thoughts were going through the mare’s head. She seemed outwardly peaceful enough; she was looking around, taking in all of the controlled chaos around her. Her expression was almost blank, but Luna knew that this did not mean her mind was the same way.

On the contrary, she could see that those slightly askew eyes were taking in everything. She knew first-hoof the intelligence that lay behind her eyes, and she greatly admired the mailmare for it. Though her own face was a passive mask, she was inwardly laughing as she remembered something that Ditzy had told her a while back.

“I like my eyes the way they are,” she’d said to Luna. “That just means that I can see things coming just a little bit before everyone else.”

It had definitely come in handy for her before.

Luna now turned back to her sister. “The three Ponyville representatives are all present and accounted for, sister.”

Celestia turned her head and smiled at Luna. “Oh come on now, lighten up a bit. You don’t have to be so uptight about everything.”

Luna was a bit floored at this. Wasn’t Celestia the one who, just a few hours before, had been so apprehensive about whether or not she was the right one to be leading something like this? And now she was telling her to not be uptight?

“What is the common vernacular?” Luna wondered aloud. “I believe it is, ‘the pot calling the kettle black’?”

Celestia chuckled softly. “I know, dear sister, but my mind has been settled on the matter. Come now, let us start the proceedings.” She turned to the crowd and raised her voice so all of them could hear her.

“My dear delegates,” she began, “I thank you so much for coming to this event. You all should have been sent a packet of information, regarding what all was going to be going on today. There is no real schedule for what events you have to go to, so feel free to go to them as you wish.”

She paused for a second, then continued: “This is the first of its kind today. It is vitally necessary as well. If we are to continue to survive and prosper as a kingdom, we must learn to accept those who may simply be a bit different than us. No matter how different they may seem from us, this does not mean that they are a lower form of life than us. This is the main message I want you to get today: different does not mean bad.”

As Celestia delivered this last bit, Luna scanned the crowd to see what some of their reactions were going to be. Her eyes naturally settled on Ditzy, and she was surprised to see a tear in the corner of her eye. She made a mental note to ask her about that later, after the day’s activities had ended and they all had a bit of time to breathe and get other, more personal matters done.

“And now…” Celestia continued, drawing near to her conclusion, “I release you all to your day’s activities!!!”

The crowd began to disperse, talking animatedly amongst each other. Luna spotted the designated translators making their way throughout the crowd. Their job was to facilitate communication between races whose languages may not be shared between the parties. Luna smiled; she knew they would do their jobs effectively.

Just then, Luna felt a nudge at her side. She looked to see who it was, and was surprised for a moment.

“Speak,” she commanded to her royal guard, who had his head bowed.

He raised his head and spoke: “Your sister wishes to see you in the royal chambers.”

“Very well. Where is she now?”

“Already there, Your Highness.”

This was a bit of a shock to Luna. Her speech had just ended; how on Equestria did she make it all the way back to her royal chambers-

“Magic…” Luna couldn’t believe it had slipped her mind that her sister could, indeed, perform magic. Maybe it was the stressors of the day getting to her as well… “Fine then. Go ahead of me and let her know that I will be there momentarily.”

The guard saluted and trotted off in the direction of Celestia’s chambers.

Luna came down off the stage and started making her way through the crowd. Some of the delegates there recognized her, and they bowed respectfully to her as she passed. Luna inclined her head to them each in turn, keeping her stately demeanor the whole time.

Inwardly, though, she was in awe. “So much has happened since the Nightmare Night that I returned… Our subjects are beginning to finally be able to outwardly show respect and admiration for me.” She smiled in spite of herself.

A few feet ahead, she saw the one individual she wanted to speak to. She was about to hail her, but before she could even get the first word out, the mare turned to her, smiling. It was as though she already knew the princess was coming.

“Hey, Luna!” she said with a wide grin. Very few ponies could get away with calling the princess by just her name, without adding any kind of honorific. This pony’s status as the moon princess’ best friend- and sometimes more- put her squarely in that honored category.

“Miss Doo,” Luna acknowledged. “How does life find you this day?”

“Oh, not bad,” Derpy replied. “Mail business has been picking up quite a bit lately, though I think that’s probably because of the holiday season coming up. Everyone and their sending gifts to family members all around.”

That reminded Luna of something. “Speaking of that, did you get my package that Celestia and I wanted sent off to Princess Cadence and Shining Armor?”

Derpy nodded. “Yep, your royal guard brought it to me a few days ago. I marked it ‘Extra Special’ and sent it on its way myself. Should be getting there sometime in the next few days.”

Luna smiled. “Thank you, Miss Doo. You are truly a great friend.”

Derpy blushed a bit at the compliment. She didn’t even mind the princess calling her by such a formal title. It used to bother her a bit, but once Luna had explained that there were just some parts of old Canterlot that she didn’t feel could ever be fully purged from her, she was very understanding.

Besides, Luna was getting better about calling her Derpy when they had their rare moments alone together, so it wasn’t all bad.

“I had better get back to my duties,” Luna said, smiling. “Until later, my dearest one.” She silently blew Derpy a kiss, which the mailmare returned with the same volume. Derpy then turned to talk to Twilight Sparkle, allowing Luna to head back to Celestia, a huge smile on her face.

A few moments later, she found herself opening the door to her sister’s chambers.

“We must speak immediately,” Celestia said as soon as Luna had closed the door.

“What is it, sister?” Luna asked.

Celestia looked her straight in the eye. “Something has happened… Something that nopony could even think to prepare for… And I fear my concerns about not knowing how to handle it are coming true.”

“Tell me everything,” Luna insisted. “Maybe I may help somehow.”

Celestia motioned for her sister to follow her out onto the balcony, which she did. Once they were out there, the princess of the sun turned to face her sister.

“We have an uninvited guest here at the conference.”

This surprised Luna more than just about anything else had that day. Someone was there without invitation? How did they even know about it, then?

“Who is it? Point me in their direction, and I will see to it that they are sent on their way.”

A voice sounded from behind the closed door: “That would cause more problems than anything, really.” Celestia used her magic to open the door up, revealing a sea-green unicorn. She bowed to each princess in turn.

“Lyra is very much correct,” Celestia responded. “She is here on my behest, my sister. She is not eavesdropping in any way.” This last part was due to her noticing that Luna had been startled a bit at Lyra’s newly-revealed presence, and she wanted to curb any sort of rash action on her sister’s part.

“Why is she here?” Luna questioned.

“Because of the nature of what has happened. You undoubtedly know of Miss Heartstrings’ choice field of study, do you not?”

“Of course,” Luna replied. Everyone in Ponyville knew of Lyra’s fascination with the beings called humans. Nopony had ever seen one before, nor did they really know much about them aside from what little scraps of rumor got passed around once in a blue moon.

Ironically, nopony really ever bothered to ask Lyra about humans. It was as though they didn’t want any mistakes to be clarified.

Celestia was about to say something else when Luna’s eyes grew wide. “Wait a moment… You are not seriously trying to tell me what I think you are trying to tell me… Are you?”

“Yep,” Lyra replied. “We’ve got a human in Equestria.”

This deeply troubled Luna, for some reason. “Why was he not invited?”

“Because,” Celestia replied, “up until now, even with Lyra’s intensive studies on the matter, humans have always been simply a rumor… We had no idea they even existed, so I believe it is fully justifiable that we did not invite one to come to this conference. Had we known of their existence, of course we would have invited them.”

“And that brings us to your dilemma,” Lyra said, walking over to where the two princesses were standing. As soon as she cleared the threshold of the door, Celestia closed it again.

“How is there a dilemma?” Luna asked.

“Think about it. Celestia specifically said in those pamphlets that only those who received the princess’s invitations were supposed to come to the event, so it would be totally justified for the royal guards to tell him to leave, maybe even to forcefully remove him from the city if necessary.”

“But…?”

“This is supposed to be a conference on equality, Princess Luna. What would the participants think if they saw a fellow attendee being led away by royal guards?”

“But if he is not supposed to be here, then royal protocol dictates exactly what you have stated, Miss Lyra. It would only be proper to-“

“You’re absolutely right, it would. But you also have to consider how it would appear to the other attendees. If you want Celestia’s vision to be realized to the fullest, you must try to minimize any sort of distraction that would cause them to lose focus. And let’s face it: nothing would cause them to lose focus faster than seeing an attendee being led away in hoofcuffs- or handcuffs, as the case would be here.”

“Hands…?” Luna muttered to herself. “What in Equestria’s name are hands…?” Both other ponies there heard her, but neither responded. They both recognized it was a personal rhetorical question.

“So that begs the question,” Lyra continued, turning to Celestia. “What are you going to do about this?”

“I think…” Celestia began, “that we know nothing about this ‘human.’ We do not know what he is capable of, if anything at all. We cannot simply assume, though, that something bad will come about simply because of his presence.”

“Are you actually suggesting that we allow him to be here?” Luna asked, sounding more than a bit incensed. “And what is to come about if this… human… does do something disruptive or- even worse than that- destructive?”

“I will take full and total responsibility. Simple enough.” Celestia turned to Lyra. “I would like, however, for you to keep an eye on him while he is here. Report on his movements to me, and if something does happen… Well, you are a magic-wielder as well. Do what you have to.”

Lyra bowed to both princesses, then surprised both of them by running suddenly towards the balcony edge, jumping off, then using her magic to soften her landing enough to where she didn’t hurt herself. When she landed, she simply walked away, a very stately and dignified manner about her.

On the inside, though, she was grinning like a madcolt. That was the first time she’d tried something so daring, and she rather enjoyed it, especially given the princesses’ reactions to it. It was really just a spur-of-the-moment thing, but it’d worked out rather well.

Back up on the balcony, Luna looked at Celestia oddly. “Does she… always do that?”

“I am not sure,” Celestia admitted. “I have had limited interactions with her. The first time I spoke with her was just two months ago, to congratulate her on her engagement to her marefriend.”

Luna racked her brain for a moment, trying to remember her name. She remembered hearing about it from Celestia, but the name escaped her… “Was it… Sweetie Drops?”

“Bon Bon, actually. But anyways, we’ve spoken maybe twice since then. The invitation was the first letter I’ve ever sent her.”

“So… do you really think she is the best individual to do this task?”

“She knows more about the humans than anypony else. I would trust nopony else but her to this task.” Luna nodded and went quiet. She knew that once her sister’s mind was made up, it was all but impossible to change it.

Celestia smiled. “Now, let us get a bit of rest. I am quite sure we both need it.”

Back down on the conference room floor, the parties were beginning to split off into groups, heading to the various activities that had been planned for them. Some of them were just sit-down-and-listen seminars, others had a more hands-on approach planned for them.

Celestia had made sure to keep all possible interests in mind when she was planning the events.

Outside, members of all the represented groups were mingling. Some had drinks and food, others pens and paper for note-taking. It was a sunny day, and the temperature was perfect. Not too chilly, not too hot.

Celestia had done well in that respect, as well.

“Ah!” Twilight exclaimed as she got outside and the sun hit her face and body. “It’s such a beautiful day outside! I’d hate to have to go to any of the inside events… It would be a waste of Princess Celestia’s gift…”

“Hah, yeah I see where you’re coming from,” Derpy replied as she settled in beside her. She’d flown around a bit, stretching her wings, before coming back to Twilight’s side. “The sun does feel really good.”

Twilight turned, smiling at her friend. “So what are you going to do first?”

Derpy was about to respond, when her stomach growled. It was loud enough for Twilight to hear it, and she laughed softly.

“Probably should get something to eat,” Derpy said, laughing a bit too. “I kinda forgot to eat last night, so that’s most likely why I’m so hungry today.”

Twilight’s smile faded. “You… didn’t eat last night? Why not? You having money issues?”

“Oh no,” Derpy responded with a wave of her hoof, “nothing like that. I just had a lot of packages I had to get sorted and ready to go out today, so I spent most of the night at the post office doing that. I do that a lot when it comes time for the holiday season. I’ll get back on track when the holidays are over.”

Twilight was still looking concernedly at her friend. “Well, can I at least go get you something to eat?”

“If you want to, I’m not going to stop you. You know what I like.”

Twilight nodded. “Fillydelphia cheese roll with manerinara sauce.” Derpy nodded, smiling, and Twilight went off to go get it. While she watched her friend walk away, Derpy sat down on the grass. It was just the right temperature, and she closed her eyes and smiled.

“I’m so glad I’m here… Princess Celestia must really have a lot of trust in me for her to choose me for this… I wonder if-“

A voice snapped her back to reality: “Um, I hate to interrupt, but… who’s Princess Celestia? And who- or should I say, what- are you?”

At the “what” part, Derpy opened her eyes. The creature that stood before her was unlike anything she’d ever seen. For starters, he walked on only two legs, though he did have two others further up his body. The two legs further up ended in these weird appendages that she’d never seen before. It didn’t look like he had any fur on his body, either. And his head…

Everything about him was completely and totally unlike anything she had ever seen before. And she was fascinated.

“She’s the ruler of all Equestria,” Derpy responded. “She’s the goddess of the sun, too.”

The being sat down in front of her, crossing his legs in a way that Derpy had only seen one other pony do, and only once at that. Lyra was interesting like that, though.

“The… ruler of the sun, you say?” he responded. “Hmm… I’ve heard of something like that before, but I always just dismissed it. I thought people who believed like that were just a bunch of nutjobs or something.”

Derpy put on an affronted face. “We are not nutjobs!”

This caused him to look at her funny. “Wait… we? Do you all believe that?”

“Well, of course. Everyone knows it’s true.”

He fell silent, apparently in thought. Derpy did so as well. “What in the world is this… being? I’ve never seen anything like him before… I suppose that he could have come from some really far-away place, but if that’s the case then how did Celestia know to invite him? Unless…”

“So what’s your name?”

Derpy came back to reality. “Oh sorry, my name? It’s Ditzy Doo, but everyone around here calls me Derpy.”

“Derpy?” He was looking at her oddly now. “Why on earth do they call you that?”

“Oh, it’s just an affectionate nickname. I guess it’s because my eyes are usually going in two different directions at once. They used to think I wasn’t very smart, but since I got to know everyone they’ve realized differently.”

“Oh…” was all he said.

“Yeah, I think at one point, they did mean it a bit cruelly, but they don’t anymore if they did. Now it’s just something fun.”

“But why would they even call you something like that to begin with? That’s not very nice, even if it is done teasingly.”

Derpy thought for a second. “I guess you have a point… By the way, what’s your name?”

“Matt Smith.”

Derpy extended her hoof. “Pleased to meet you.” Matt looked at her a bit funny, not entirely sure what to do. He settled for just fist-bumping.

“Oh, so you know about pony-hoofing? Are you from around here?”

His face fell a little bit. “Um, see that’s the whole thing… I’m not exactly sure how I got here. See what happened, I think, was last thing I remember I was asleep. I was having this really weird dream where I was just wandering around in this giant field, not really doing anything in particular. Then there was this really loud crack, and I woke up. But when I woke up, I was in the same field I had just been dreaming I was in.”

“So you thought you were still in your dream?”

He smiled for the first time since he’d walked up. “Hey, yeah. Glad we’re on the same wavelength.” Derpy smiled back, encouraging him to continue. His story really was interesting to her.

He must have sensed this, because he did go on: “Well, there’s really not much to my story since then. I’ve kinda spent the past… however long it’s been… just wandering around. I made my way here, I guess, and found everybody. And here I am.”

“You don’ t know how long it’s been since you got here?”

“I remember that when I got here, there was this really big thunderstorm that night; I had to build myself a shelter, but that didn’t go very well… And then there was this really weird thing that happened. These holes kept getting punched in the clouds, and there was this really blue sky that got revealed a bit every time a new hole got punched.”

Derpy smiled as she remembered what had actually happened. She and Rainbow Dash were having a bit of fun with that week’s thunderstorm, and had seen who could kick the most holes in the clouds without actually causing the clouds to disperse. Naturally, Dash had won handily, but they’d both had tons of fun.

She thought about something very soon after, though, and it sobered her right up. “That… that was almost three weeks ago…”

This seemed to shock him a bit. “Have I really been here that long…? Wow, I guess I’ve lost track of the time. I’ve just been wandering out and about, like I said, and exploring. Seeing what I can find. I found this really awesome cave not too long after I’d gotten here, and I probably spent a good day or so looking it over. When the light hit the stalactites just right… Man. It was like a rainbow had appeared in the cave.”

Derpy knew exactly where he was talking about, too. She had been there with Rainbow Dash once, looking for a lost foal. She’d been flying around the cave so much that her rainbow trail started to sink into the rocks. Derpy had no idea whatsoever how it’d happened, but that’s what she saw. She’d even called it Rainbow Cave since then.

There was still one question that was weighing heavy on Derpy’s mind: “How have you been eating since you got here? Just foraging for food or what?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Every once in awhile I’ll find a food stand and grab a few apples or a loaf of bread and go eat it-“

“Wait. You mean you steal stuff?”

“It wasn’t my first choice, believe me. I tried giving the owner of one stand a dollar, but they wouldn’t take it. They said they only accept “bits” or something like that.” As though to accentuate his overall point, his stomach growled loudly.

“You’re hungry, I can tell. So am I.” Derpy started looking around. “Where on earth is Twilight? I sent her out a while back to go get me some food, but she should have been-“

“Derpy! Where you at?” Twilight’s voice called out through the crowd.

“Over here!” Derpy called back. “Right where you left me!” In a moment, Twilight appeared, grinning and using her magic to levitate four bags of food.

“Hey, sorry about the wait,” she said, setting two bags down in front of Derpy. “When some ponies found out about me going to get food for you, they said they wanted me to get some for them, too.” She looked at Matt. “Oh? Who’s this?”

“This is my friend Matt. We’ve been talking for awhile.”

“Oh, that’s awesome! I see Celestia’s grand design is already coming together well!” She seemed very happy about this. “Hey, I’ll be back in a minute, ok? I need to go drop this food off by Lyra and Bon Bon. They’re probably about as hungry as you are.” She laughed as she trotted off.

Derpy opened up the bag and pulled his meal out. “Oh man, that looks delicious…” He checked the other bag. “Hey, she got two of them!” She looked at Matt. “I’m only going to eat one; do you want the other one?”

“Definitely!” he exclaimed. He reached over and picked the bag up, checking to see what was inside. “Oh wow, is that a calzone? That looks delicious!”

“Um… I don’t know what a calzone is, but that’s just a whole bunch of cheese stuffed into a dough roll. It’s got some tomato sauce, too.”

Matt laughed. “Well, that’s basically what a calzone is, except normally the sauce is on the inside. Doesn’t really matter, though; it still looks delicious.” He took the contents out and unwrapped the cheese roll, biting down into it. “Oh man… I’ve never had one this good before. And it’s pretty big, too!”

Derpy laughed as well. “Yeah, the pony that Twilight gets them from makes them like that all the time. That’s why I love them.”

Matt swallowed before speaking again: “You’ve mentioned ponies a few times since I came over. Is that what your race is?”

Derpy nodded. “We were- I think- the original founders of Equestria. Other races of creatures have moved in since then, and we’ve been accepting of them all even though we were here first. But yeah, there are a lot of ponies. Twilight Sparkle is one, too; she’s the one who brought us our food.”

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. She wasn’t even holding those bags; they were just kind of… levitating as she walked. How did she do that?”

Derpy took a bite. “Magic,” she replied. “Twilight is a unicorn, and all unicorns can do magic. My friend Rarity is a unicorn, too. She’s the best seamstress in all of Equestria- well, that’s what she’ll tell you. She is one of the best, I’ll give her that.”

“We don’t have magic like that where we come from. Our magic is just illusions and tricks.”

“Oh, there are some ponies here who do that kind of magic, too. There was one really famous one whose name was Trixie Lulamoon, though she preferred to be called The Great and Powerful Trixie. I think that was just her stage name… Anyways, she was a unicorn, too, but she used her real magic to help her out with her stage magic.”

He finished the last of his cheese roll. “She sounds… interesting.”

“Yeah, she was. I never got to meet her in pony, but I’ve heard a lot about her, especially from Twilight. She and Trixie used to have this really bad grudge between each other, but luckily they’ve patched things up.” Derpy finished the last of her roll. “Oh man… I am stuffed. I don’t know why she got me two of them; she knows I only need one to fill me up…”

“Are you two, like… dating?”

“Who, me and Twilight? Nope; she’s just one of my best friends. I kind of already have a marefriend; her name is Luna.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I’ve got a girlfriend back home, too; she’s really awesome.”

“I’ll bet.” She stood up slowly and stretched her wings a bit.

“Whoa.” He was now looking at her with a renewed interest. “For some reason, I just now noticed you had wings… Do they actually work?”

In response, Derpy simply smiled and took off into the air. She went through a basic aerial routine that Dash had been teaching her the past weeks. She stumbled  a few times but kept going, and in a minute she’d finished it all. She landed back on the ground, skidding to a halt a few feet away from him.

“That… was fun.” She grinned. “What did you think?”

“I think I’d like to learn how to do that someday.”

Derpy laughed. “Well, unless you grow wings, I don’t think that’s going to be possible. But that’s ok; not everypony can do everything. Take me, for instance. I can’t do magic like Twilight can, but I’m cool with that. I like flying, anyways. It lets me get around easiest to deliver the mail.”

“You deliver the mail?”

“Yep. For all of Ponyville. Sometimes even to other cities, if they need a package delivered quickly and reliably.” She stood up. “Hey, I’m going to take a walk around a bit. You want to join me?”

“Sure!” He stood up as well. “Just as long as we can keep talking while we walk. You’re a rather interesting… pony.”

Derpy laughed. “Interesting? That’s putting it mildly… But thank you anyways. You’re very kind.” The two of them set off in the direction that Twilight ran off in.

“Where are we headed, exactly?” he asked.

“Not sure. I like just heading around to random places to see what I can find. That’s how I’ve had some of my most fun adventures.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I’ve got a great one for you. This one time, me and…”

For the next hour or two, Derpy talked about all of her amazing adventures in and around Ponyville. Some of them were rather mundane by everypony else’s standards, maybe, but Matt could tell that all of them had an impact on her in one way or another. He especially paid attention when she started talking about her filly Dinky Doo and all of the fun and crazy things they did together.

Before they knew it, they’d walked so far away from the conference center that they were all the way out in a woodland area. Derpy knew exactly where they were, though; he explained that he’d had to go out this way once when Fluttershy had gotten lost in a freak storm, and she and Rainbow Dash had had to come out- along with a few other friends- to find her.

“I love sylvan areas like these,” Matt said, sitting down on a downed tree trunk. “They’re always so peaceful.” Derpy nodded in agreement, sitting down beside him on the ground.

“I don’t see how you sit like that,” Derpy commented. “My friend Lyra sits like that all the time, too. I tried it once, but it was way too uncomfortable for me.”

Matt laughed. “I guess it’s easy for me because I’m a human, and that’s the way all humans sit.”

Derpy swiveled her head to face him now. “You’re… a human? So you’re what Lyra keeps talking about all the time…”

The look of shock on his face was evident. “Wait a minute now. You just said one of your pony friends knows about humans? Do all ponies know about humans, too?”

“Nope. Everypony just kind of thinks they’re a rumor. They kind of make fun of Lyra behind her back, too. You know, for believing so whole-heartedly in something that- as far as they know- doesn’t even exist.”

Matt was more than a little bit in awe of this. “How did this Lyra pony even come to know about humans to begin with?”

“See that’s the thing: nopony knows, really. She was really vocal about it in the beginning, but when she realized that nopony cared about it, she just kind of stopped talking about it. She especially clammed up when she started hearing all the bad things that other ponies were saying about her. They should have known that eventually, word was going to reach her.”

Matt was silent for a second, then he responded: “It sounds like some ponies need to go to that conference.”

Derpy laughed. “Yeah, they do. Unfortunately, they weren’t the ponies who were invited. It was me, Twilight, and Lyra that got invited to come.”

Just then, a rustling was heard a small ways up. Matt started a bit, but Derpy put his hand out protectively. She motioned for him to be still, and Matt complied.  A few moments later, a white head poked out from beside a bush.

“That’s… one of Celestia’s royal guards…” Derpy whispered. “What is he doing all the way out here in the woods?”

“Because…” came a very familiar voice from behind them, “they are guarding me.”

Derpy whirled around suddenly. Standing behind them was, indeed, Princess Celestia, but she was not alone. She had two of her guards with her to her right, and Twilight and Lyra to her left.

Lyra approached them cautiously. “So, I see you’ve made friends with Derpy here.” There was no malice in her voice, and Matt sensed this.

“Yep,” he replied. “She’s a very special pony.”

“That she is,” Celestia replied. “That is why I invited her to this conference. And speaking of… you were trespassing on the conference hall grounds, when royal protocol for the event specifically stated that only invited guests were to be on the premises- besides myself and my sister, of course.”

Derpy leaned in and whispered, “Yeah, you know that Luna pony I mentioned earlier? Well I kinda forgot to mention that she’s a princess too… She’s the ‘sister’ that Celestia just mentioned.”

Matt looked at her, in shock again. “That… would have been a good thing to mention…”

Celestia lifted a hoof and motioned for Derpy and Matt to come closer to her. They did so with some trepidation. A blinding white flash of light lit up the forest; a moment later, everything was calm, the forest as empty as it always had been.

Less than a second later, they all appeared again, safe and sound in Celestia’s palace. Matt was the first to open his eyes, as he had shut them upon the blinding light appearing. He now looked around him in amazement.

“Where… are we?” he asked in awe.

“In my chambers,” Celestia replied. “In the royal palace at Canterlot. Also the home of myself and my sister.” As if on cue, the doors to Celestia’s bedroom opened, and Luna stepped out, rubbing her eyes a bit sleepily.

“Sister… Why are you making so much noise…?” She stopped when she saw who all was gathered there. “Is this… the one that you were talking about?”

Celestia nodded. “It seems as though he and your marefriend have struck up a rather unorthodox friendship.” She smiled at Derpy. “Not that I don’t approve of it.”

Luna sighed. “Derpy is not my marefriend, sister; I have already told you this. She and I are simply… friends. Maybe a bit more than friends sometimes, but just friends.”

“Regardless,” Celestia continued, directing her gaze at Matt now, “there is still the issue of what to do with him. My royal guards have been scouring the Equestrian history books, and as far as I can tell, human… You are the first of your kind to ever set foot into Equestria.” She paused for a second to let that sink in with everypony.

“And I got to experience it…” Lyra said simply and quietly.

Celestia looked at Luna. “What do you think, sister? What should the proper punishment be?” Derpy started to say something in Matt’s defense, but one look from Luna silenced her short of the first word.

Luna thought for a moment, then replied: “Human… do you have more of your kind from where you came?”

Matt nodded. “Our entire planet is populated with humans like myself.”

“And if you were to be away from them for a long time… Would you not miss them?”

“I would, yes…”

Luna looked at Celestia, who nodded. She directed her gaze again at Matt. “Then this is your punishment. You are hereby sentenced to exile from Equestria. My sister will do the honors of sending you back to your world.” Celestia nodded at these words.

Derpy stepped up slightly. “Um, princess… If he really has to go, then can I at least say goodbye?”

Celestia nodded. “Of course. I would not dream of denying you that.” At Celestia’s gesture, the other ponies walked away, leaving Derpy and Matt standing there alone.

Matt kneeled in front of Derpy. “I want to tell you something before I go,” he said.

Derpy choked back a sob. “O-okay…”

He smiled at her. “I didn’t tell you this, but when I first came onto the- Canterlot, was this place called?- onto the Canterlot grounds, I tried interacting with some of the other races who had gathered here for the event. Not a single one of them wished to even acknowledge my presence. Not one… except you. You showed me compassion today, Derpy… and I’ll never forget that.”

At this point, Derpy could no longer contain herself, and she wrapped her forehooves tightly around Matt’s neck in a tight hug. Matt smiled and hugged her back, simply holding her against him. It seemed like a very long time before the two of them parted.

Derpy smiled at him through his tears, then called out to Celestia: “Okay, princess… I am ready- no, wait. We are ready.”

Celestia entered again, with only Lyra by her side. She motioned for Matt to stand, and she did.

“Fare thee well, traveler.” Matt closed his eyes again, and he saw that bright flash of light again; it filled the room, and when it dissipated, the first human to ever set foot into Equestria… was gone.

Derpy wiped the tears from her eyes, and looked at Lyra, who was crying a bit as well. Derpy went to her and hugged her as she had the human, and Lyra returned the embrace.

Celestia watched them together, and smiled. At least one pony had learned that day, the value of being a friend to someone in need, and of the equality of races. And that, she decided…

Was all she could have really asked for.