Chapter One - Am I still drunk or am I see an pony?
View Online
Chapter One - Am I still drunk or am I see an pony?
It was a quarter to four in the morning, when Max Müller left the tram to make his way home, which he was hoping to find, since he was completely wasted. Walking along the sidewalk, while trying not to fall into the thorny bushes, which decorated it, Max noticed a light appear for a short moment. He ignored it, thinking it was just some idiot who forgot to turn his brights off while driving in the city.
As he was approaching his home, Max started to hear strange sounds from where the light was. Curiosity overrode his caution and he started towards the sound, helped along by the fact that he was too thoroughly buzzed to really care. Once he reached the source of it, he noticed, that they were coming from something, that clearly was not human, although he wasn‘t able to make out what it clearly looked like, though the sounds were like a human panting heavily, like something hit it. Max pondered for a second to call an ambulance, but he realised two things, first his mobile was dead and second he was too drunk to remember the number.
So he decided to take it to his flat, because he didn‘t want to leave it in the cold, since it was the middle of December. As he was trying to lift it up, the creature winced for a second, but then stopped, as Max had it in his arms. The creature was kind of heavy, but Max was doing martial arts for sometime and therefore didn‘t have too big of a problem with it.
Reaching the house he lived in, he opened the door, went up to the first floor and opened the door to his flat. While entering, Max turned on the lights. He now sees that the creature is a pony, to be exact a unicorn. Still being drunk, Max just thinks about how lucky he is to find a unicorn and completely ignores the fact, that unicorns do not exist. He puts the pony onto the carpet next to the heating, on which the pony shows signs of relief due to the warmth of the radiator. After that, he starts getting rid of his clothes and drops into his bed, then turns off the light, instantly falling into a near-comatose sleep.
The next morning, Max woke up around eleven a.m., slowly adapting to the light from outside, since “drunk him” must have forgotten to close the blinds again. Now realizing that he blacked out again, Max tried to make out whether he made it home or if he was at a friend‘s place. As he looked up at the ceiling, he saw a boomerang hanging on the wall, which he got from an Australian friend from back, when he lived there, therefore, he concludes, that he was to be in his flat. Now turning sideways, facing towards the light, he checked his room for broken stuff, since “drunk him” had the habit to break things sometimes. He was happy to see that today wasn‘t one of those times, but now he noticed something on the floor.
On focusing on the object, Max noticed that it was an animal. A pony. The only thought, Max had in this exact moment, was “What the fuck, did I do last night?! Did I steal a pony? I must have; you don‘t just find a pony on the street. Holy shit, I am so screwed.” Now the pony turned, so Max could now see it‘s horn, which caused Max to scream out loud, “HOLY SHIT, A UNICORN! WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET THAT?!” Now talking to himself at an normal volume, Max said to himself “Ok, I need to call the police or some kind of authority. Maybe this is a missing science project from university. That could be it. I was at a party on campus. Or maybe this is just a dream. I hope, it is just a dream.” While saying that, Max started to get dressed. He went into the bathroom to splash cold water into his face, hoping that it would wake him up.
But after returning to his room, he still saw the unicorn laying on the floor. But now he took for the first time a closer look at it. It had an electric mane with dark-blue and light blue colour tone, the same as the tail has. On her hindquarters were two matching symbols of two bridged eighth notes, which for some reason felt very familiar.
Just when his brain was about to figure it out, the unicorn said “Only five more minutes, Tavi.”. Max just turned to the wall and smacked his head against it to check, if he really wasn‘t sleeping. While holding his head in pain, Max whispered “It can‘t be happening. The ponies can‘t talk and unicorns don‘t exist. But the pain says otherwise...”
Max paused for a second, having a strange idea pop into his head. He remember, where he saw a pony like this, which only made things worse for him. He realised, that on his floor is laying a pony from the show “My little Pony - Friendship is Magic”, to be exact Vinyl Scratch. Now with this thought in mind, Max tried to figure out, why there was a fictional character from an cartoon show in his flat in the existing world.
While Max was still recovering from this epiphany, Vinyl woke up and said confused “Man, where am I? Must have been one hell of a party. Am I right, ‘Tavi?” and turned around to look at Max. They stared at each other for a second, then they both screamed like crazy.
Vinyl is the first to break the scream and says “Who the buck are you? No; what the buck are you?”
Max replies “How the fuck did you get here? You‘re an fictional character.”
“I’ll show you how fictional I am, when I shove my hoof about your ass!”
“Of course, you‘re fictional. You are Vinyl Scratch from the show My little Pony - Friendship is Magic. The only way, that you are here on Earth, is I‘m dead and this is hell.”
“How the buck do you know my name... and what’s Earth, anyway?”
“Earth is the planet that you‘re standing on, you moron, and I know your name because I watch the show that I just mentioned. Maybe I am in a coma and I am imagining things. like talking unicorns.”
Vinyl now used her magic to telekinetically punch Max in the stomach. Max doubled over and said through gritted teeth “Ok; not a coma or a really realistic coma with magic and pain... I think... it‘s best if we start over? You know, with introductions and stuff.”
Vinyl agreed with a nod and began. “So my name is Vinyl Scratch, which you already know. I‘m from Equestria, which I‘m guessing, you also know.”
“My turn, my name is Max Müller and I am a human. You‘re on the planet Earth, which dominate species is humans and we have a show, which is about Equestria. Now can I ask a question? How the fuck did you get here?”
“That is a good question and I don‘t have the answer to it.”
“Next question, do you remember ANYTHING from yesterday?”
“No, can I ask a question. How did I get here?” Vinyl replied.
“I don’t know. I‘m guessing ‘Drunk Me’ found you.” Max answered.
“So how are we going to fix this?” Vinyl asks, which Max replies with “Not my problem, I‘m still in the same world as I was yesterday. Use some of your fancy magic.”
“I don‘t know that kind of magic and if I knew, i would be way too weak to summon such a spell. Doesn‘t your race know magic?”
“Human can‘t use magic. We don‘t even believe it exist. We have science to help us in life and with the little, we know, we can hardly travel beyond your own planet. Not to speak of possibly into another dimension! Let‘s just hope, someone in your world noticed you are missing.”
“I don‘t believe, anypony will notice, that I am missing. I don‘t really have a lot of close friends and they are all scattered all over Equestria and my fans are used to me taking unannounced breaks from DJing. So that‘s a problem.”
“What about Octavia?” Max suggests, just to see Vinyl react by blushing. “You two seem close.”
Trying to find her calm, Vinyl responds “We are not that close and we hardly know each other.” Max raised a brow and says “You were talking to her in your head two times since you‘re here and looking at what you asked you to seem very closed, like lesbian close.” Vinyl stayed silent, not saying a word, trying to fight the blush. Max only turns around and says “I am going to eat something now. I‘m guessing you‘re hungry too. I hope I have something, that ponies can eat. Since humans are omnivores.”
Vinyl flinched, as she hears the word omnivore and quietly says “You mean like meat? From animals?”
Max turned around with a big grin and said “ Yes!”
Chapter Two - Rage, Misunderstandings and idiocy
View Online
Chapter Two - Rage, Misunderstandings and idiocy
Vinyl was still shaking in disgust and fear, while Max left to check the refrigerator. After opening it, Max signs and says “Well, my magical intruder, looks like it‘s your lucky day. My fridge is empty, which means, if I want to eat something, I need to go buy it. It‘s means, I‘ll be gone for about thirty minutes. What do you guys normally eat?“
Vinyl slowly recovering from the shock of learning, that there is an entire planet of meat eaters, answers “Well, clearly we ponies don‘t eat meat. We normally eat“, when Max suddenly cuts her off to say “You don‘t say! Ponies don‘t eat meat. What a revelation. I would never guess that from your reaction.“
The now angry Vinyl tries to reply calmly “We normally eat hay, vegetables and fruits. So it would be nice, if you asshole would bring me some.“
“Yeah, ok, just don‘t make any noise or touch anything. Because I don‘t trust you.“ Max responds, while smiling. After that he grabs his wallet and his keys and leaves to buy groceries.
Vinyl, now for the first time being able to relax a bit, looks around in Max‘s flat. The flat consists of four rooms. A bathroom with a bathtub, a kitchen, the living room and a hallway, which connects the three others. The living room is the biggest and must also be the room, Max sleeps in, since he got his bed there. In the room are, besides the bed two tables, while on the bigger table are various notes, is on the other smaller table a lot of cables going to a little metal box, which Vinyl has no idea, what is purpose is.
On the right side of the bigger table is something that looks like an cello shell, while she recognises from her roommate Octavia‘s cello, but the instrument is way too small to be a cello. It might be a guitar, but Vinyl couldn’t convince herself. So she decides to check. Using her magic to levitate the instrument onto the floor before her and then using it to open it, Vinyl sees, that a guitar, but strange it is missing it‘s sound body. Making a mental note for herself to ask Max about the guitar, Vinyl put it back into it‘s shell and puts it back. Between the door and the smaller table is a large shelf with various things in it. The most interesting thing is the large screen with a lot of cables. Beneath the screen is something, that looks like a sound system, she knows from Equestria and her own setup, but it‘s too small. On top of the shelf is a strange glass structure, which Vinyl has no idea of what is purpose is. Next to it is a stand with four swords, which made her shake in fear, thinking about fearsome a being Max must be.
Turning her attention away from the swords, Vinyl grew curious about the strange metal box. For some strange reason was that place the cleanest place in the whole room. Vinyl was just about to use her magic to grab it, as she heard a door opening. Quickly stop and turn around to look, whether Max was coming or not. To her relief he wasn‘t. Must have been one of his neighbours. Now returning to what she was to doing, Vinyl first removed all the cables with her magic, then she brought the thing in front of her and began to study it. She notices, that she could open, just to find a screen, familiar to the other, but much larger screen, and a set of key, embedded into the metal. Vinyl hadn't noticed, because of her interest in the strange screens, which Max had a lot of, that Max returned from his shopping.
As Max enters, he says “I‘m back. Hope you like the stuff, I got, but as much as I concerns me, I don‘t care.“ After that he walks into his living room, seeing a frantic Vinyl placing his laptop back, where it belongs. Max now pissed says “What did I tell you not to do? ONE FUCKING THING! DO TOUCH MY STUFF!“
Vinyl, trying to calm him down, says “I just got curious about all the strange things, you have in your room.“
“Well, I hope you noticed the swords, ‘cause I‘m thinking about using them to make myself a unicorn STEAK!“ Max replies.
The scared Vinyl apologises by says “I am really sorry, I was really careful. Please don‘t eat me.“
Taking a deep breath, which allowed him to calm down a bit, now says “Sorry, I overreacted. The last time I left a female in my room alone with my stuff, she broke the laptop, that you just placed back. By the way, that female was my annoying sister. She broke a lot of my things.“
“I don‘t have a sibling.“ Vinyl says, while Max adds “Good for you. Let‘s eat something and then I‘ll show you my stuff, ok?“
“Sure, I am starving. What did you got for me?“
“How about apples?“ Max suggest, while taking one for himself.
Vinyl used her magic to take one and eagerly began to eat. While they were eating, Max started to explain all the stuff he possessed.
“So what‘s with the metal box?“ asks Vinyl, on which Max replies “That is my holy grail, my laptop. I use it to do nearly everything. Surfing, playing, watching and listening to music. I‘m guessing, there is nothing as advanced in Equestria as this?“ While saying that Max takes the laptop and turns it on.
Vinyl now eagerly wants to know, how to use this device, especially how the device is powered. Max begins explaining, that humans don‘t have magic and because of this, they created science, which lead to electricity, which powers nearly every day-to-day device. Vinyl is surprised, how well this species makes up for their lack of magic, even though she knew the earth pony adapted as well to new possibility given through research.
Vinyl mentions “Electricity would be really useful to power my DJ equipment. It‘s exhausting to power it for an entire night with magic.“
Max moves on to the next device. “This is my sound bar. It is practically an entire sound system, but require much less space.“ He now grabs a cable from his desk and plugs it into his laptop and the sound bar. “I‘m guessing, you like techno music since you‘re a DJ?“
Vinyl answer “Like? I love techno. The heavy bass. The fast beat. The ..“ when she was interrupted by a loud bass, coming from right next off her, nearly deafening her. Vinyl was in shock for a second, but quickly recovered from the shock, since she was used to the loud music.
Vinyl now yells “What the buck, dude! You could have at least given me a head up. BUT NO! Mister technology was too good for that.“ Max sitting there, while laughing, starts mocking Vinyl “I found you like loud and hard. Or is Tavi not into that?“
Vinyl‘s face turned red the instant her brain progressed that sentence. She was trying to think of an comeback, but she couldn‘t because of embarrassment and anger. So she decided that the logical response is to make Max suffer for it. After settling for this decision Vinyl grabbed hold of a plastic bottle, which was laying next to her, and starts hitting Max with it.
Max immediately starts apologise by saying “Sorry, sorry. Please stop hitting me. I‘m really sorry.“ Now Vinyl starts to calm down, putting the plastic bottle away, while Max continuing “I have to admit, what I said, was too much. I am really sorry. I didn‘t know you would take it so hard. I mean, if Equestria is even a little like the show, lesbians should be something really common, unlike on Earth. So as an final apology, you can slap me in the face.“
Vinyl surprised for a second by the way Max apologised, but already was focusing on the slapping. Using her magic, Vinyl delivered a hard blow to Max‘s face, making him tear up, even though he was used to getting hit because of his training.
After rubbing his cheek for a second, Max says “Ok, that wasn‘t as bad as the magic punch, but still hurt a lot.“
Vinyl responds now, glaring at Max “I think we should move on the other stuff you have. Like that big screen thingie or your guitar or why you have swords. BEFORE somepony says something, they‘ll BUCKING regard.“, Max swallows nervously, as Vinyl continuous, “But you can leave the music on. It‘s really good. Looks like that place has something to offer.“
Max was now slowly realising, that Vinyl just mentioned his guitar. Wondering why, the DJ had a interest in that, was completely oblivious to Max. So he curious asks “What about my guitar?“
“You know, since it does have a sound body, how is it any use.“ Vinyl answers.
Max‘s eye starts to twitch, as he says, while trying to suppress his anger “You touched my guitar?! You soiled my guitar by having physical contact with it, other than my own.“
Vinyl justifies “Well, I used magic to look at it, so I didn‘t touch it.“
“Well that is way better.“ Max responded calm and smiling, which gave Vinyl hope, which were then torn to shreds by Max saying “Like Hell. How you react if someone would start messing with your DJ setup. I mean I love my guitar and I‘m guessing the same goes for you with your music stuff, or does is not?“
Vinyl, pondering for a while about the question, answers “You‘re right. I would hurt them a lot. As musician, my setup is my pride. So I understand and apologises.“
“You don‘t have to, as long you understand, why.“ Max responds. “By the way, is there something else you want to know about?“
“Maybe why you have swords? Are you at war or something?“ Vinyl asks nervously, because she is a bit afraid of the answer.
“I have the swords, because I am a martial artist, which means I am training in close combat for self defense purpose. Also because of the martial art I do, I also have weapons training and I like the look of the swords, which actually are call katana for the longer ones and wakizashi the shorter ones.“ Max replies eagerly, because he is an weapons nerd.
“Why in the name of Celestia would you want to learn how to fight?“
“Because humans are assholes and that combined with my slightly aggressive personality, means I get in a lot of fights, which I hardly ever lose, except when I‘m drunk or someone better trained comes along. You never got in a bar fight or something like that?“
The now surprised Vinyl replies “I actually never was in a bar fight. That is very strange or I don‘t remember it…“ Vinyl pauses to think a second, but couldn‘t remember ever having to fight somepony, so she continues “But humans are fighting a war or anything, right?“
“Well, humanity is not fighting a war, but humans also never stood together for anything, also there are as a matter of fact three wars, if I recall correctly, going on, but they‘re all somewhere in the middle east, far away for Germany.“
Vinyl was baffled, to the point she was nearly unable to say something, the only thing what came out was “Three wars? How could there be three wars at the same times?“
Max’s only response was “We humans are an violent race. We killed our next ancestor because we needed the space. That‘s evolution. To eat or be eaten. We‘re also the race, which lived the shortest time on earth and we rule it with an population of over 7.000.000.000 people. So we have been fighting since the dawn of our race and the most scientific progress was made during times of war. There are no wars back in your world?“
Vinyl, still unable to progress the information, replies “There are no wars in Equestria, but in other country there might be, though there were a few attacks focused on our capital, but the princesses and the elements of harmony to care of it.“
“Let‘s talk about something else then violence. You know what, I going to prove that you‘re fictional.“
Vinyl is beginning to get irritated by Max‘s believe that she was fictional. She could punch him again, but she didn‘t feel like it. While she was thinking about this, Max grabbed his laptop and some cables, which he plug in and turn it on. Then he turned on the TV and to Vinyl‘s surprised the TV showed the same thing as the laptop did. Max realised the surprised look on Vinyl‘s face and says “What I‘m doing, is no magic. I just contacted my laptop and the TV with this cable and use the TV as an external monitor. That‘s really nothing special. But check this out“ Max opened something called MLP, then he open the first file in there. Now a black screen appeared, then faded into a cartoon picture of a book. Max quickly paused and asks “Before we begin, do you want a beer? ‘Cause I am getting one for myself. This is going to be so fun.“
Vinyl responds with yes, while Max went to get the drinks. After that pressed a button and the video continued. A voice began to tell the story of the princesses, which Vinyl thought to be kind of amusing, though strange since she was in another world, so how did they know. As the video goes on, Vinyl took a sip of the beer Max gave her. She was used to the beer that the local brewery in Ponyville made. The beer, Max had, was much heavier in taste and tasted like it had more alcohol in it.
“So how do you like it? The beer, I mean,” Max asked.
“It‘s good. The taste is nice and…“ Vinyl replies, but stopped as she heard a voice, she knew. Turned to the screen to see Twilight Sparkle read in book. Vinyl‘s jaw fell as she realised, what was happening. Max is showing her a show, a human created in another world, which was telling the story of the return of Nightmare Moon.
Max was waiting for this reaction, ever since Vinyl mentioned the attacks and the elements, so he says “How is it to realise, that you‘re an fictional creat…“ Max couldn‘t finished, as Vinyl punched him to shut up.
“I would like to see more, without talking all the time. Because I am pretty sure, that I exist as an unique being.“ Vinyl responds and takes another sip of the beer.
After watching the first and second episode of the show, Vinyl says slightly drunk, since Max and her continued drink beer “I‘m surprised, how accu... acculate.. I mean close it wass to the real thing.“
Max, being a medium weight in drinking, replies “Yes, it is and I can‘t give her german beer. Or I drink more and forget that.“
“I like forgetting. Let‘s drink something strongerer.“ Vinyl comments drunkly.
“Ok, I‘m up for a drinking game.“ Max says, not realising that he stopped thinking rationally. “Can you play games with a controller?“
Vinyl replies “Not schure want a controller is, but I‘ll try. At least I have MAGIC.“
Max turn and pulls out two 360 controller and starts an emulation of Mario Kart 64 on his laptop, then turns back to Vinyl and explains the controls and the rules of the drinking game. She nods and they play a practice round, so she could get a hang of the controls. Max gets more booze and a bottle of cinnamon tequila.
Vinyl says “That wasss fun. Why don‘t weee have something like thiss in Equestria?“
Max replies “I don‘t know. Maybe because you guysss are sstupid poniesss.“
“Max, that‘ss not cool. I don‘t have to punch you?“ Vinyl pauses for a second, then says “Nah, you‘re a cool guy. I won‘t punch you.“
“Yeah, you‘re cool too, Vinyl. I‘m kinda of tired. Wanna go to bed?“
“Yeah, that would be cool.“ Vinyl mentioned, while yawning.
So the two get ready to sleep. Max gets his extra mattress and blanket for Vinyl, who goes to the toilet meanwhile. They lay down and immediately fall into a dreamless sleep.