A.N.)- I know, a lot of ponies are out of character. There is a reason for this.
Also: Fair warning, this fic can be considered over-the-top Dark, while this is deliberate, it's not for everyone.
Anyways, let's get on with the fic.
My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.
This is my mantra. This is my creed. This is all that I have left.
I was once a human in the 21st century of Earth. Two years ago something, I don’t know what, sent me to Equestria, but in the process it turned me into an alicorn.
Someone help me.
I’m faster than Rainbow Dash, stronger than Applejack, more powerful than Twilight, more artistic than Rarity, more ‘fun’ than Pinkie Pie, more skilled with animals than Fluttershy. The moment I try something, I’m better at it than everyone else around me.
I’m in hell.
My mane is a flowing red, my coat black, my eyes red. I’m the embodiment of a horrendous stereotype.
And the world hates me.
Somebody, anybody, please help me.
My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.
oOo
I live wherever I can. I can’t stay in any one place long because of the monsters. They follow me, they hunger for my blood... and for the blood of any pony nearby.
If I stayed anywhere too long... I put everyone and everything nearby at risk.
It was one of my punishments, the monsters. Horrible creatures, dragons and wyrms, hydras and trolls, demons and terrible behemoths, elder gods and beings from Beyond, they simply appeared from nothing and sought me out, killing everything between us on their way. I had to kill them to protect everyone, but the collateral damage... it was horrendous.
Grass tasted weird, even after two years.
Reaching out, I grabbed another flower, slowly munching on the plant as I waited.
Waited there quietly, laying in the grass, my wings stayed tucked at my sides and my tail curled tight against me. Hopefully, today the world wouldn’t spit up some some magical problem only I could solve. I didn’t think it would; my spell was holding decently.
I didn’t want to go into town, not again.
Please...
My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.
Again I leaned forward, there weren’t any more flowers in this clearing, that meant grass for now, I was still hungry of course. This was the normal state of things. I couldn’t really go into a town or city to get food, so I had to make do with the plants I found around.
A flap of wings, a distortion of air, my eyes went wide as I shot up, wings flaring, ready to run. I didn’t want to confront anyone, I was minding my own business! I was miles outside of town! Blue and rainbows, but not a part of the sky– Rainbow Dash.
No. Oh god no. I could barely outrun her. Not her. I didn’t want to fight her, I didn’t want to–
“Hey! Horse apple!”
I flinched, cringing away, tensed like a spring and ready to run.
“Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you buddy! Yeah, apparently we need your help again.”
I froze in place, eyes widening even more. Oh no. Immediately, I turned to the flying pegasus, still terrified, still worried, but all of that could be dealt with later. Right now, people needed my help and I wasn’t going to let them languish, I kept my voice as steady as I could, “Take me there.”
“Ugh, alright, just don’t get lost ya loser,” Dash climbed even higher into the air before taking off like a rocket.
With only the slightest hesitation, I launched myself after her, my wings flaring beside me, magic flowing freely around me as I accelerated after the high-speed pegasus. Each wingbeat powered against the air as I pushed to catch up with her. We soared over the clouds, our wings pumping as we flew..
And for a moment, just the briefest of moments, with the clouds beneath me, the green world moving below, the wind in my ears flying behind a pegasi of amazing grace and power... a warmth replaced the dread and tension in my chest.
Then Ponyville came into view, and the cold dread returned. I couldn’t see any monsters; that was good, I couldn’t... I didn’t want to see more death again... it hadn’t even been a week since the last monster attack. But even so... I would be going into public once more, amongst ponies... I just wanted to get this over with and be gone once again.
I extended my magical senses as Rainbow Dash brought us in for a landing, the wind whistling past my ears. If it wasn’t a monster, the most common issue was a magical flaw or error, a mistake in the world that only I or Celestia could solve, and since I was closer...
There, okay, found it, now I could fix it and get far away from ponies again before anything happened. I angled my wings up the slightest bit, hooves hitting dirt moments after Dash’s and setting me walking forward without a pause. The sooner I was done, the sooner I could get away from here.
The town was already starting to gather, the glares... I didn’t want to be here any more than they wanted me.
I strode right past Dash as she led me towards the library, opening the door quickly and ducking my head to go in. My eyes, those horrendous red eyes, they swept the room and quickly found the problem, a pony had been transformed into something other, something from Beyond that made terrible memory tingle at the back of my skull. It was trapped in a circle, a simple one but powerful in its euclidian and enclosed nature, containing the mass of tentacles and hooves and tendrils and flesh that had once been a pony.
Beside the circle sat Twilight, her violet eyes glaring at me the moment I entered. No one else would have entered with such a thing trapped. She knew this was my fault, I knew this was my fault, and all I could do was fix it and go away. Fix it, and stay far enough away that it wouldn’t happen again.
“I don’t doubt that you already know the dire nature of this disaster, such dour tidings likely follow your dreadful countenance wherever you go,” the hatred in her eyes simmered as she spoke through clenched teeth. I did my best to tune her out, to focus on the thing that needed my help because I had stayed too close for too long, “As dubious as it may be, you do know how to undo this devastating dilemma?”
A melonchaly smile found a place on my face for a moment before it faded, trust Twilight to find a way to berate me with alliteration.
Without hesitation, I stepped into the circle, the thing which had been a pony swarmed over me, hooves and suckers and things which had no name pressing against my coat, but despite the brief revulsion, the horror, I pushed past it and stepped entirely within the circle, trying to ignore the feel of eyes and nails and hooves and other things against me.
The once-was-pony couldn’t hurt me, nothing from Beyond could, nothing spawned or changed by the curse that followed me could harm me, but they could harm other ponies and were unkillable.
A tear escaped my eye as I once again thanked whatever thing had cursed me for the small concessions. It was within my power to put this thing out of its misery, but I didn’t have to.
I reached deep inside, I touched the core of iron that I shared with the earth beneath my hooves, the pulse of molten metal that I shared with it, the stability and reality that it held... and I gently... ever so gently... I drew it out, the burning in my chest as the power passed through me a welcome pain.
At first there was a terrible scream without sound as that which was from Beyond and not-real was encompassed with a power that was decidedly real. But then it faded, and the scream became a croon, a soft sound of relaxation, of relief. I had to be careful, to be gentle, to ignore the blazing pain in my chest that slowly spread to the rest of me as I used this power, the power of a god, power that I unjustly wielded... but a power that I was eternally grateful for if it let me just do this.
Slowly, ever so slowly... form and shape returned to the mass about me, color and reality, bone and structure... bit by bit, it all came back as I reasserted reality over the insanity, as I acted as the conduit for Equestria to reclaim one of its own.
With the softest of sighs, a pony, a mare teal green with golden eyes, existed once more, her mind reforming with her body. For a moment, I saw gratitude, happiness, acceptance in those eyes... and then she passed out, slumping against me before I tenderly lowered her to the floor.
I would never say I’d go through this pain again, that it was all worth it, because nothing was worth the pain this curse inflicted upon me... but I was grateful that I could at least do something to make up for the pain I caused, something to seal the hole it tore in my heart every time somebody suffered because I existed.
Backing away from the pony, Twilight teleported over her, protecting her from me and snarling in my direction, her horn alight, “Great, now get out of here before you make it happen again!”
Turning around, I did just that, walking quickly towards the door. I didn’t want to be here, not under the gazes of ponies, not that I could blame them for their hatred. The door was still open from when I’d entered, and I ducked my head once again to get out, mindful of my ridiculous horn.
I stepped back out into the sunlight and found, to my horror, that much of the town had gathered. Glares all around, hateful gazes, narrowed eyes... it was it all over again, the same thing every time.
My wings flared out as I readied myself to take off, and the shouts started. The insults, the berating, the reminders that I should never have come, that I was unoriginal, cliche, trite, and a monster amongst ponies. With the mightiest heave of my wings that I could muster, I was off, off before the rocks could start to fly once more.
Relief flooded me as I took off once more, away from ponies and their hateful gazes and words.
I wasn’t a bad person, I wasn’t... but horrible things followed in my wake.
My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.
oOo
The sun was warm against my coat, a delightful warmth despite the brightness, it eased the ache in my chest, the pain of those glares. I lay in the grass, miles away from Ponyville or any other sign of civilization, for now at the least, at peace.
Tossing my head, I threw my ridiculous mane out of the way, a stupid red mess flowing in a never-there updraft, I loathed that and my tail in particular. Terrible messes that always got in my way, reminders of what I’d been turned into...
I leaned down and took a bite of grass, slowly chewing it and tossing my head again to keep the mane out of my face. Grass still tasted weird, but there weren’t any flowers nearby to eat and I didn’t dare go anywhere near the town again, not so soon...
My gaze became, for lack of better terms, forlorn and depressed. I missed human food, I missed meat, I missed cheese, I missed spices and noodles and I missed cooking... I missed it so much. I couldn’t even cook food the way I used to... this body could eat meat, as stupid and ridiculous as it was that the body of a herbivore could eat meat, but it could eat meat.
But to eat meat, I’d have to kill something, and the odds were unbelievably good that that something would be intelligent, that it would be capable of advanced math and politics and have opinions and a mind of its own... I didn’t dare.
Swallowing, I leaned in to take another bite of grass to try and take the edge off of the hunger I felt. The motion was interrupted by a sudden sense of presence, of power and might, my eyes widened and I shot up to my hooves, my wings flaring as I readied to run.
There were only three sources of magical power that I could feel like that when I wasn’t trying; Twilight and the Princesses. The only reason Twilight would have to be here would be to ‘reprimand’ me for what my presence had done to that pony. Luna... sometimes she was kind to me, but others.... other times she was the most terrifying of foes, I didn’t dare...
The large, stark white form and flowing patel mane made my heart slow once again, my breathing returning to normal as I awkwardly returned to my place on the grass.
Celestia landed nearby, the Princess of Equestria approaching me quietly before laying down beside me in the grass, draping a wing over my form. I was actually larger than her, standing almost half a head taller than the regal alicorn. I kept my head low in deference, no matter how much she said I didn’t need to, it made me feel better, as did my apology, “I’m sorry about being so jumpy Princess...”
“I know Emeris,” her muzzle gently brushed against the back of my head, nuzzling me, “I understand.”
The affection, honest and gentle, broke the dam I built around the pain, ridiculous tears of blood began to flow from my dark red eyes even as I burried my face against her coat, staining the stark white a dark red as I had my desperately needed cry. It’d been nearly a month since we’d been able to meet, and the hatred, the pain had started to get to me. Today was merely the latest in a month where I’d had to go to town or a city almost every other day.
No matter how often it happened, no matter how hard I tried to steel my heart and thicken my skin, the hatred, the anger, the insults and the violence directed at me... it was too much. All I could do was make up for the terror and pain my presence caused, to protect and serve, and to never hurt anyone.
I bawled like a child, leaning against Celestia as I sobbed against her chest, the monarch, the mightiest being in Equestria, just wrapped her wing tightly around me and held me close, crooning to me gently.
Slowly, bit by bit, I calmed down, my heart easing, the pain flowing out as I simply cried it out. Sniffling, I wiped my face against her coat, pulling away and wishing I had a better way to wipe away my tears.
Noticing the stain of red on her chest, I winced, “Sorry about that... always seem to do that...”
The Princess smiled in gentle amusement, “That’s why I have a royal bath, my little Emeris.”
An amused thought crossed my mind and I snorted out a laugh that almost sounded like a sob, “You have a big bathtub exclusively to rinse off emo tears of blood?”
“Well, not exclusively...”
I couldn’t help myself, the look on her face, the amusement in her eyes, the tone of her voice. It shouldn’t have even been worth a chuckle, but it seemed so incredibly funny to me at that moment. I chuckled, I guffawed, I laughed, my eyes squeezing tightly shut and even more crimson tears flowing as I laughed.
Stupid emo tears. Stupid terrible situation. Stupid emotional fragility. Stupid emotional imbalance. I felt stupid, weak, like nothing more than a child...
And yet this was far, far better than snapping at a pony with the absolutely ridiculous amounts of power I had available to me. One slip up, one mistake... the damage would be catostrophic and I didn’t dare let that happen.
My name is Emeris Fillson, I was human once, I am not a bad person.
oOo
To say that it was soothing for an immortal Princess to mother you would be a bit of an understatement. Celestia had never told me if she had been a mother, but I wouldn’t doubt it given how tender she was when grooming me.
This was something we did every time we met, and by ‘we’, I meant Celestia insisted upon it.
She groomed my ridiculous mane for me, something I had no clue how to do, and helped me preen these wings. Something that I had yet to learn how to do. I could have but... this was something I enjoyed, it was relaxing and soothing and... and it made me feel loved. Something I desperately needed.
I leaned my head against her chest, listening to her breathing, to her heartbeat, just resting and enjoying the brief respite from the hatred, the anger and loathing that was directed at me. Her teeth gently pulled through my mane, straightening the normally eternally waving mess. A slight tug at the hair made me wince and Celestia pause, after a moment, she moved my mane to the side and was silent.
Confused I raised my head, “Princess...?”
Her eyes were sad as she gazed down at me, confusing me even more before she dipped her head, a soft golden glow shining around her horn , a warmth burning against my skin beneath my mane. Oh, that. I flushed slightly, looking away in embarrassment, muttering, “It was almost healed anyways...”
“Emeris.” I winced at her admonishing tone before it softened, “I know a wound from a thrown rock when I see it... I’ve been around more than long enough...”
Staring pointedly at the ground, I murmured, “They were just trying to keep me away.”
The golden warmth against my skin faded, and with it the slight pain of the scabbed over wound. Celestia’s chin pulled my head back against her chest, I didn’t resist her pulling me close, “You don’t deserve this Emeris.”
“I know...” I kept telling myself that, I still kind of believed it.
“You’ve saved Equestria dozens of times,” she insisted.
“From things which were only there because I exist...”
“Emeris, you’ve saved more lives than can be counted.”
“Lives that were only in danger because I’m here...” the tears were flowing again.
“Emeris, you do the best you can. Everypony knows this. You stay as far away from everypony as you can, you heal the scars of your battles, you save ponies lives.”
“Princess... I bring death and destruction everywhere I go... madness and terrible monstrosities follow in my wake... plagues, blights, and swarms of insects are my heralds and the screams of the tormented are my chorus...” my eyes clenched tightly shut, tears leaking free, “Is it any wonder that they hate me?”
“Emeris,” I flinched at her sudden hard tone, “ My little ponies do not hate you. I promise you, it is only the power of the magics which make monsters appear which makes them treat you so.”
I bowed my head, I wanted to believe it, I really did, but... they had every reason to hate me.
After a long moment, the immortal alicorn sighed, her warm breath against my mane before she nuzzled me once more, “Emeris, you’re not a bad pony, please, don’t let anypony convince you otherwise...”
Leaning into her touch, dribbles of blood red tears continued to drip down my face as I murmured, “I’ll try...”
oOo
Fire, black as pitch, far too familiar. It was a common theme of the monsters, this ‘void-fire’, it consumed the souls of ponies and burned for thirteen days and thirteen nights unless I put it out. I snuffed it with a thought, the ponies it had consumed long cast into oblivion. All that was left was ashes and bones, bits of tendons, ligaments and flesh clinging to the remains of good ponies.
The thing wasn’t much farther from those fires, it had been plaguing this town for several days, stalking and consuming, ripping ponies from their homes, dragging them out and eating them alive. Immortal and unkillable, those that had struck it had caught aflame and slowly burned to death as it continued to devour it’s chosen victim.
The flames I’d doused were all that was left of the poor souls that had tried to save others, the red-shirts, the ‘examples’. Those whose lives had ended just because they’d tried to do the right thing.
I could hear the sound of whimpers, squelching and crunches. My stomach turned and I bit back the bile that rose in my throat. I walked on.
More fires were doused in the darkness as I approached the sounds, headed towards the center of the small town. How many families had lost loved ones? How many children were going to bed, asking where dad was? How many mothers would cry themselves to sleep because their son or daughter was forever gone? How many would have to bear the pain of watching their loved ones burn alive?
And what of those that couldn’t bear it? How many had joined their loved ones in the embrace of the flames? Far too many.
There was a ring of fire around the center of the town, the sounds of sobbing, of the wet smacking of lips, could be heard over the crackle of the flames. I closed my eyes, burrying the tears, the sympathy and the pain, the fear that I always felt, I buried it all and touched the core of my power, the heartbeat of the world.
With a warm breath, I banished the flames and revealed what I had caused.
The thing sat there, vaguely humanoid, claws for toes, gangly and with far too many joints, bald and black flames alight upon its back. It smelled terrible even beneath the smell of burnt flesh. Before it was a unicorn mare, her legs broken, sobbing and crying as she stared at the thing with red rimmed eyes.
The thing, the monster... the latest iteration of my legacy... it cradled what was left of a foal in its hands of blades, the child little more than so much meat in the vaguest shape of a foal.
It stopped eating when the flames went out, turning towards me, an intestine caught in its teeth as its head swiveled entirely around, its face blank of anything resembling sentience, an empty eye staring at me from beneath a mouth of gaping teeth.
My stomach heaved, it didn’t matter how many times things like this happened, it didn’t matter how often I had to stop this, to undo it... this was a horror amongst horrors, and it was my fault. It screeched in joy before dropping the sack of skin and jumbled bone that had once been a foal to the ground. It came at me, arms outstretched, blades seeking my flesh, teeth seeking my blood as I cast my spell.
The world shook and the earth cracked, arms of magma, blazing hot, reached up from the earth and grabbed the thing. It screeched in horrible pain as the arms dragged it down, more sickening crunches and terrible ripping sounds as it was torn apart and it’s body was pulled into many cracks far too small for it to pass through.
It didn’t stop screeching until its head was crushed and the earth sealed up behind it.
I walked forward, hooves against the dirt as I approached the mare and what had to have been her child. The foal’s eyes were wide open, and rigor-mortis locked its mouth into a scream, you couldn’t even tell what gender it had been beneath the blood and scattered entrails.
I dry-heaved, blinking away the tears as I worked another spell, making the foal at least presentable for a funeral pyre.
The mother sobbed and wailed even as I finished, heading over to her as well, my horn and her legs encased in a red light as I worked what was going to be my final spell for the night. Reknitting her bones together, sealing the lacerations and repairing her muscles. I couldn’t bring back her child, but I could at least help her go on in some way.
Lights began to appear around me as I worked, candles and spells of light. Ponies, having heard the things scream, were slowly coming out to investigate.
“Why?” one asked.
I couldn’t answer, I didn’t know.
“Why weren’t you here sooner?” asked another.
“I came as soon as I heard...”
“Why’d you have such an easy time of it?!” one of them accused.
“It was waiting for me...” the terrible truth.
“Then get out! You’ll bring another!” there were cries of agreement from the gathering crowd
I bit back the sob in my throat as I focused on the delicate work in front of me, I couldn’t rush the ponies healing or she may never walk again, “I will. I just need to fin–”
The first rock caught my shoulder, little more than a sting against my coat, “Get out!”
I clenched my teeth, the tears flowing freely as I focused harder on the mare before me. I knew it would do no good, but I tried to speak, “I will, just give me a mom–”
The next rock was sharp, it skipped off of my back, “Get lost! We don’t need you!”
“I promise, I will–”
The next caught me in the ribs, a bigger one that stung, “You’re no better than that thing was!”
There was nothing I could say that they would believe, all I could do was focus on reknitting the unicorn mare’s bones.
Another rock, “Yeah! We don’t need some fake prince! You just bring these things with you!” A torch bounced off of my hide, singing my coat as another shouted, “Go back where you came from and take these things with you!”
Tears were flowing freely, I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to run, but I couldn’t go until she was healed.
Another rock, this one clipping my head, “This was your fault! My daughter’s dead because of you!”
A strangled sob escaped me, I ignored the pain, ignored the blood that was starting to trickle down my face as I whispered, “I know... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”
“The Princess should’ve killed you long ago!”
“You’re nothing but a killer! I bet you just wait for these things to rack up a body-count before stopping them so you can look more like a hero!”
“You’re the worst pony that could ever have lived! Why’d you come here if you were just going to bring misery?!”
“Get out of here you monster!”
“Beast!”
“Demon!”
The mare before me had grabbed a spear, her horn alight and her eyes wild with fury as she’d screamed, “Go back to hell where you belong!”
oOo
My eyes snapped open as I leapt up, wings flared, panting and dripping in a cold sweat. I looked around me quickly, spinning in place in the grass as I scanned the area around me. Nothing. Nothing but the silence of the forest, of the night.
Slowly, I touched my hoof to the place the mare had stabbed me.
My eyes closed as I slid back down to the ground. Memories, why was it always the memories?
And so, I began to sob, tears flowing freely, blood red dripping to the grass beneath me.
My name is Emeris Fillson. I was one human. I am not a bad person.
I’m not.
I’m not.
I swear I’m not...
Somebody... anybody... please... help me...
Author's Note
And so it begins.
Based off of a concept spawned by this comment.
The Emeris in this story is the same Emeris as in the other, the only difference between the two stories is the curse's effects on other ponies. This story will have an ending, feel free to say what you think that ending should be.
My name is Emeris Fillson, and I am not a bad person.
There was an endless cold at my back, and a swirling molten core beneath me.
My wings flapped slowly, there was barely any atmosphere up here, miles above the surface, with the endless void at my back and the entire expanse of Terra beneath me… had I opened my eyes I could have seen the curvature of the world all around me.
Up here, I was at peace.
There were no monsters, no beasts, no rocks to be slung and no ponies to hurt. Up here, it was almost silent.
I could feel the world that I was connected to, I could feel its heartbeat that spanned eons, I could feel it breath and sigh, feel the rushing of its waters along its surface… it was awesome in the oldest sense of the word. It inspired jaw dropping awe, and was awful, terrible, and wondrous in the most primal sense.
I felt the soul of the world, and it reminded me of my place within it.
A horrible, little place, but my place.
As much as I wished I could, I couldn’t stay up here forever. I needed to go back down at some point to eat, drink, and rest. As powerful as the forces were that I could connect to, I didn’t want to find out if I could die from starvation.
Whether or not the world would be a better place without me, I wouldn’t take my own life, even in such an oblique way. I refused. I wouldn’t take the cowards way out. I’d promised people dear to me, even if they were dead by now, that I would never take my own life, and I would stick to that promise till the end of time.
I opened my eyes, staring down at Terra, the contrast of color of Saddle Arabia, the Badlands, Equestria proper, and the Crystal Empire absolutely striking even from this height. It would soon be dawn in Equestria, Celestia would soon correct the Sol’s orbit and bring it around.
Had I desired, I could have set the world to spinning and Celestia could have held the sun in place as the world began to resemble my home.
It was horrifying to have that kind of power, even if it technically paled to that of Celestia’s ability to move a star, small as it may have been. No one should have that kind of power…
The blazing light of the star warmed my side as it slowly swung around, a line of golden light slowly advancing across the surface of Terra.
I’d have to say, my favorite title for Celestia wasn’t Princess; but rather, Dawnbringer.
It was about then that my preternaturally acute eyes picked out a small, strangely colored wisp of smoke against the backdrop of the atmosphere. Cocking my head to the side, I tucked my wings in slightly, letting myself drift a bit closer.
The wisp of smoke coalesced into a letter, and the realization hit me. Suddenly worried, I grasped it with my magic, pulling the letter close. They would only send me a letter if they desperately needed me and I wasn’t anywhere to be found.
Dear Emeris,
Don’t panic, this is not urgent.–
… well, there went that panic attack.
A small smile crossed my face at how well Celestia had to know me to have anticipated that would have been my first thought.
Regardless, I read on.
–But, at your earliest possible convenience, meet me in the safe room beneath Canterlot, I have something I wish to discuss with you.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Well that was curious… this was the first time I’d gotten a letter like this.
Rolling up the piece of paper with my magic, I lit it on fire, scattering the ashes into the upper atmosphere.
Without anything more pressing, I gave my wings one last good flap before tucking them in to my sides and angling myself downward, hooves extended before me. There was a small thrill of excitement and adrenaline in my chest as I skydived in the most literal sense.
Heat built up around my face and forelegs as I plummeted, the air unable to get out of my way fast enough, pressure building and heat rising as I went faster and faster, accelerated to increasingly greater speeds by the gravity of the world.
The heat kept increasing even as the air before me started to visibly glow and the sensation became unpleasant, but I still didn’t flare my wings even as the dirt rushed upwards to greet me. I waited until I felt myself break through a flimsy barrier, then another, and then another, the air seeming to rip apart in front of me each time as I powered down through the thin upper atmosphere.
It was only then, at Mach 5, that I spread my wings, rapidly shifting my center of gravity as I sharply angled upwards, the blazing air licking against my belly and legs and face, seeming to light my black coat on fire with its intensity.
The powerful muscles in my back and chest strained to keep my wings locked as I hurtled through the air at impossible speeds, a vicious grin on my face as I reveled in the adrenaline, in the simple rush of flight.
The ground rushed past below me, filtered through the blaze of burning air.
A mach-cone reforming around you is always a strange sensation… the drag of the thicker atmosphere down here forcing me slower and slower.
As I approached a ‘mere’ Mach 2, I began to flap my wings again, maintaining altitude and speed as best I could. At this distance I’d be going near my top speed of Mach 1.7 or so by the time I got to Canterlot, faster than any pegasus alive, and my Rainboom Cone of crimson and black would act like a buffer to keep any brave souls from making any attempts on me when I pulled in.
… yes, I was going to pull in to Canterlot going Mach 1.7, I wasn’t big enough for my Mach cone to shatter windows or anything!
I’m not a monster, I promise, just concerned with my own safety.
There it was… Canterlot. I flapped my wings harder, climbing higher, above the cloud-line. In a gentle parabolic curve upwards I ascended over Canterlot, and once in position…
Admittedly, this was my favorite part.
I dove.
There was a resounding flash and boom as I made a hairpin turn in midair, diving straight down towards the small opening in one of the massive spires in the city. I could feel the tingle of magic against my coat as I flew through the barrier outside of the shaft. With several delightfully fancy maneuvers in the tight corridor I made my way to the ‘secret’ room hidden beneath Canterlot.
Flaring my wings and magic at the last moment I came to a sudden stop in complete violation of G-Forces and inertia, my hooves a mere inch above the tile even as the accompanying shockwave sent a flurry of dust scattering through the room.
I thoroughly enjoyed the brief thrill of happiness and exhilaration at the dramatic entrance despite the empty room. It was the little things that kept me sane…
The room was empty, not surprising since Celestia likely had plenty of more important things than coming to talk to me. She’d be here in time.
Walking into the spartan room, I looked for the feather duster, broom, and dustbin, all of which had been scattered by my overly dramatic entrance.
A few bookshelves, a little stove, a table, couch, and some chairs, and some tea, glorious tea. It was spartan, simple, and well protected. It didn’t stop the horrors that followed me around, but I didn’t have to worry about the ponies trying to get retribution on me or run me out.
I couldn’t stay long but… it was nice not to worry about something like that for a little while, however brief.
My name is Emeris Fillson, I was human once, I am not a bad person.
oOo
I was watching the tea boil quietly when Celestia arrived at a far more sedate pace than I had entered, her hooves settling lightly on the tile and my head dipping, “Princess.”
“It is good to see you Emeris,” the radiant princess smiled as she folded her wings.
“And I you Princess,” I said softly and honestly. It hadn’t been that long since we’d seen each other last really, “You wanted to see me?”
“Yes, we have something to discuss, though it can wait until the tea is ready,” she said with a small smile.
I gave her a small smile as I turned back to the tea, the Princess was almost as obsessed about tea as I was.
oOo
We lay on the couch, my side pressed up against the back of the surprisingly plush couch and the princess was pressed up against my side, her wing draped across my withers as we sipped the tea.
It’s hard to really explain how comforting the simple press of another living being was when it was such a rare occurrence.
Celestia’s cup slowly lowered to the small table nearby, slightly confused, I did the same with my own cup. I didn’t prompt her, letting the powerful diarch gather her thoughts.
Her wing tightened around me before she said, “Emeris… I have both good and bad news.”
“Okay…”
Taking a deep breath, Celestia turned to meet my gaze and held it as she said a phrase that rocked the foundations of my world, “I believe I have found a way to break your curse, but it will require you to be banished to the Beyond once more.”
…
“...w-what…?”
“I had hoped to find a way to allow you to stay in our realm without the disastrous effects of your curse, but it does not seem possible. The effects of your curse can be unravelled, but doing so will also expose your true nature to our world and you will need to be banished back to the Beyond in order to protect reality.”
Beyond… the Outside, the Outer Reaches… no matter what you called it, it deserved capital letters. It was a terrifying place of eldritch logic and physics, where up and down didn’t have to be mutually exclusive, where the sound of blue was a common thing as was the smell of love.
It was the home of terrible horrors, the likes of Cthulhu, Nyanthorlap, Zalgo, and worse.
I had escaped to Equestria from there…
But… could I remain here?
Could I really stay here with the damage I was doing? Could I truly live with myself while people suffered and died just because of my presence? Could I truly put my fears before their lives?
… no. No I couldn’t.
I swallowed hard, steeling my resolve, “W-What do I need to do?”
I’d survived the Beyond before, I could do it again.
My name is Emeris Fillson, I was human once, I am not a bad person. And I will prove it.
oOo
We were miles away from civilization… both of the diarchs, the Elements of Harmony, and myself. I sat in a circle at the center of a triangle, the sun and moon both hung in the sky in perpetual twilight…
“What are we doing here with him?” asked Twilight, putting immense venom into the pronoun as she glared at me. I hung my head low, avoiding antagonizing her.
“We are here to end the threat that he poses to Equestria.”
“How…?”
“We are going to unravel his existence and cast what remains out of Terra.”
“And he’s okay with this?” asked Pinkie.
Despite the trembling in my chest, I was the one who spoke, “I just want it to end…” Despite how that may seem, I didn’t want to die… but this would get rid of me just as completely as far as they were concerned, and the statement was true. I did want it to end… all the pain and fear and horror… I just wanted it to stop.
The Elements of Harmony glanced between themselves, quickly murmuring among themselves.
“This will work?”
“Yes Twilight, it shall.”
The group shared a nod, “Alright, what do we do?”
Celestia nodded and launched into an explanation of what was required, and while most of the elements only had to focus on their elements, Twilight’s task was far more complex. I couldn’t understand it at all, the magical jargon going far over my head.
I stewed in my fear for the several minutes as Celestia explained, enduring the glares of the girls as I laid down in my circle. My job was simple, don’t lose control and destroy things, because this was going to hurt. And it was going to hurt a lot. They were going to, quite literally, vaporize my current form before banishing my true form back out into the Beyond.
So I had to stay still and not lose control of the absurd power the curse had given me.
I would. No matter the pain. No matter the horror. I refused to cause this world any more damage. I wasn’t a bad person, and I would prove it.
I had to.
“Are we ready?”
“Yes Princess.”
“Gary?”
“Yes.”
The two alicorn princesses shared a nod and their horns lit up. A wash of golden light flowing over my form, prickling heat suffusing my coat. Silver light poured into me, icy cold and prickling as it suffused my veins. The pain was mild at best, more like an intense discomfort than true pain.
Then the twilight lit up with rainbows of power, power so intense and awe inspiring that it actually humbled me.
I could connect directly to the blazing core of power that was the heartbeat of this world… and even it was but a fraction of the power aimed at me.
The rainbows collected into a single ball of scintillating light, compressing down into a point of nearly white-hot power before it lance–
…
Pain.
Deep–
Pain.
A spike of light through me–
Pain.
Razorblades in my heart-! In my veins-!
Pain.
Every heartbeat– cutting-! Stop-!
Pain.
A soundless scream– bloody tears–
Pain!
Power-! I had to-!
Pain.
it was crashing against the circle, threatening to burst–!
Pain!
No! I won’t–! I can’t–!
I am not a bad person! I won’t do any more!
I raised my head and screamed–
My pain, my horror, my sorrow, my guilt, my fear, all of it– I directed it all upwards, away from anything that I could hurt–
Pain.
The world shook, my skin feeling like it was peeling apart like an over-ripe orange, bursting at the seams as razorblades flowed through my veins, my heart tearing itself apart–
It was then, with a sickening popping sensation, like a zit full of horrible puss… I exploded.
Twilight felt the terrible tugging sensation snap like a rubber band, and the horrible compulsion went with it. An almost beatific smile spread across her face. Finally, freedom. No longer compelled to assault and hate, she could act how she desired and tell Gary the truth.
The power of the elements faded, the immense power coursing through them trailing away as the six friends lowered to the ground.
Twilight opened her eyes to look at… nothing.
She wasn’t the only one who was confused, Celestia and Luna were both confused as well. A sudden pulse of fear went through the gathered mares, had they killed him?! The Elements of Harmony horrified at the possibility, desperately looking around for where Emeris might have gone. Only Pinkie Pie’s eyes remained locked on the apparently empty circle
“P-Princess-?! What-?”
There was a sudden boom and the world shook.
The mares hurriedly looked around before there was another boom, louder this time. Pinkie spoke up, the whites of her eyes visible as she pointed at the circle with a shaking hoof, “G-Girls–!”
Following the pointed hoof with their eyes, they all could see what her pinkie sense had picked up on when there was another resounding boom that caused the very air around them to shake, the circle flaring to life as it contained… something.
“W-What is that…?” whispered Rarity.
It was pale and enshrouded in shadow despite the light of the perpetual twilight, even as it became more visible as time passed, it remained indistinct and blurry, prowling around within the circle. Then the sound started.
It was an unsettling sound that triggered some primal part of their brains, a low, almost keening hiss crossed with a terrible growl as the thing moved around the edges of the circle.
It lunged at the edge of the circle again, causing the circle to flare to life once more and a pulse of light and shadow to emanate from the point, the world itself shaking in sympathy. Not the ground or the dirt or the air, but something more fundamental than that.
“That…” Celestia swallowed, gathering herself slightly, “That is Emeris’ true form… the true form of the being you know as Gary Stu. And–” all of the ponies present tensed as the being slammed into the edges of the circle again with a snarl, the circle flaring once more. The.. thing seemed to glow with its own light, and yet remained in indistinct shadow, “And it seems that he has lost control of himself…”
It was pale, it’s joints moving at awkward angles that no true quadruped walked with as it prowled around the inside of the circle, “Dude, that’s wrong, just plain wrong…” Dash shuffled away from the circle nervously.
“W-What do we do?” Twilight asked softly, her eyes locked on the prowling… thing that had been Gary.
The princesses glanced between themselves briefly, but any conversation was stopped when the creature let out a warbling… scream? Howl? Roar? There werent’ words for it. It made their bones shudder and shake, a scratching at the inside of their skulls.
This thing was wrong.
This thing was fundamentally wrong.
It was a primal knowledge. Something no pony would need to be told. This thing was wrong, it didn’t belong, it shouldn’t even exist!
It reared up on its hind legs and slammed its forelegs outwards, the barrier of the circle flaring into existence as the appendages stopped midair with an impossible sound.
“We–” Celestia paused, herself unsettled, “Should wait until Emeris has regained his self… to send him into the Beyond in this state would be dangerous for–”
The creature made that terrible scream once more as it began to slam its forelimbs into the barrier furiously, the world shuddering with each blow against the barrier.
“Princess, Ah don’t think we can afford to wait!” Applejack shouted over the increasingly louder blows.
“We must!” Celestia’s magenta eyes were wide, her entire body tensed as her horn lit up with a golden light, the circle lighting up as well, “The Beyond outside of Equestria is particularly bad! Emeris could not survive it in this feral state!”
Claws scratched against the invisible barrier, sparks of golden light and midnight darkness flaring into existence as they ground against it, lighting up the area… but not the creature. Celestia cringing as the beast slammed all of its claws into the barrier and drug them downwards, the princess of the sun straining to contain pressing hard against its encasing with a snarl.
It threw its head back and screamed, that terrible howl…
Its’ mouth opened too far to be natural, it had too many teeth, too sharp, too bright… every member of the Elements of Harmony covered their ears in a desperate attempt to keep the sound out of their skulls, the warbling and thrumming sound reverberating in their heads.
The creature curled inwards, howling even louder, its’ claws curling as the entire circle lit up with power, a sudden wave of pressure emanating from it.
The circle cracked.
With a sensation as if their entire spine had cracked at once, the world went sideways.
Celestia lit like the daystar, her mane and tail blazing gold and an equal wave of heat and power blasting from her, the sun blazing gold and orange from its place low in the sky as the solar wind blew from the princess of the life giving star. The world was bathed in golden light and reoriented itself, the circle straining to contain the beast.
The creature that had been Emeris breathed deep and the world went awash with silver as well as gold as half the sky became a field of stars, the moon shining bright in the sky as Luna’s power surged as well, “Sister! We must banish him now! If he breaks that circle his fury may break local reality utterly and let far more malicious things through!”
“No!” Celestia’s eyes were wide as she poured her power to the task of maintaining reality, “We must let him calm down! If we send him out there like this he’ll die!”
With another terrible roar the beast began to claw at the barrier freely, both of the princesses wincing at the sudden draw on their power, “We cannot sister! We cannot ensure the stability of reality while containing a monster of this power!”
“He’s not a monster! He’s Emeris!”
“Tia! No matter what he was before, he is now a monster! We must banish him before he threatens our world!”
“No!” Celestia nearly sobbed, “No! I have already failed him once! I have already failed my little ponies! I can’t fail him in this!” Her eyes blazed, “I won’t fail him again!”
The creature screamed and began to claw at its’ cage with abandon, desperate for freedom. The feral beast little more than a mass of shadows and teeth and claws and a sickly, unearthly glow.
The Elements of Harmony shuffled backwards, “Stay in your circles!”
They froze in place at Luna’s scream, “The simple geometry of the circles and our triangle are all that’s keeping it contained now! Don’t break them!”
“Princess, I don’t think–” the creature howled and Twilight flinched, shouting over the terrible noise, “I don’t think this will work! We have to banish it!”
“Twilight! Please! No!” Celestia begged, “He deserves better than this!” Desperately, she turned to the Element of Kindness, “Fluttershy! Can you calm him?! Please!”
But there were tears in the pegasus’ eyes, “H-He’s not an animal… he’s a monster now… I’m so sorry princess…”
The beast stepped away from the barrier, growling with the sound of an earthquake before it raised a forelimb and with a snarl of its far too sharp teeth that glowed in the shadows that covered its form slammed its claws into the ground, the dirt and stone fracturing, the circle flaring brightly in an attempt to contain it.
“I agree Tia but we have no choice!” Luna shouted, her wings flared as her horn blazed with power, “It is it or us! If we do not banish it now, it will break free and reality will crack! The bearers cannot survive that! If its’ banished at least it has a chance to survive the Beyond!”
Another blow cracked the earth as the beast began to scream, starting to pound away at the far more fragile ground beneath it.
“But–! Luna!” the princess of the sun begged wordlessly, tears streaming from her eyes.
Clenching her jaw, Twilight made a call, “Girls! Formation!”
Despite their terror, the Elements of Harmony stood to attention, their glittering necklaces shining as they were presented.
“Twilight-?! No! Please!”
Rainbow light filled the air once more, and despite the tears in her own eyes, Twilight ignored her mentor, “Luna! Guide us!”
“Right!” midnight blue met the rainbow power mid-air above the beast, merging and flowing together before lancing downwards and filling the circle.
The previous howls were nothing compared to this scream of pain and horror, and all present cringed as the creature desperately tried to stand its ground. The power of the Elements, guided by the Princess of the Night, pressed against its form, pushing it away. The creatures claws reached out and grabbed-
They grabbed the air–?
No, they grabbed the world itself, holding on even as the torrent of power pushed at it.
“No! Girls! Please!”
“Just a bit more!”
There was a horrendous tearing sensation in their very souls as the world itself ripped under the creatures clutches, its claws digging into reality itself as it held on with fury… but it wasn’t enough.
Something opened, and the creature began to fall.
It was then, that for the first time, eyes that were familiar and yet foreign could be seen on its face, eyes wide in fear as it clung to the world, the only one that had been the least pleasant.
And then it let go.
It faded into wisps of shadow and light and other, leaving four deep furrows in reality, hanging like holes of impossible colors and visible smells in the air.
“Emeris!” Celestia surged forward, unheeding of her own circle and rushing to the dissipating wisps, almost desperately cupping them with her wings as tears slowly fell from her face, “... Emeris…”
“Tia…” Luna hesitantly stepped forward-
“Silence!” the princess of the sun nearly snarled, rounding on her sister, her mane and tail blazing with golden power, “You banished him! While he was feral!”
“Tia,” her sister said softly, “We had no choice.”
“Luna-!” tears were streaming freely from Celestia’s face, evaporating in the solar wind coming off of her before she sobbed out, “Luna… he’s gone...”
“I know sister…” carefully approaching her fellow alicorn, Luna wrapped her wings around Celestia and pulled the distraught princess to her chest, “I know…”
“I was supposed to take care of him!” Celestia sobbed, “I failed… I was supposed to protect and take care of him and I failed! After he did so much for me!”
Luna crooned softly to her larger sister as she cried, “I know sister…”
“He chose this! He chose it because it would save pony lives! He dedicated himself to saving them and I was supposed to save him!”
Tears of blazing gold were falling from her face as the aurora borealis returned to her mane and tail, the normally flowing examples of her power instead drooping limply against her sides. The Elements of Harmony glancing uncomfortably amongst themselves as they watched their princess, the one they’d known and nearly worshipped their entire lives… just… break down, sobbing and crying.
“I failed him…” the normally composed princess buried her face in her sisters chest, tears of molten gold falling from her clenched eyes, “He trusted me and I failed him…!”
“You did the best you could sister, but we had no choice.”
“We could have saved him!”
“No,” Luna reprimanded gently, but without hesitation, “We couldn’t.”
Celestia’s jaw clenched tightly and her breaths came in shuddering sobs as she was held in her smaller sisters wings.
Twilight stepped forward, walking up to the embracing alicorns and with but the slightest hesitation, stood up on her hind legs and wrapped the closest part of her mentor in a hug.
The dam broke, and the princess of the sun began to bawl.
One after another, the rest of the Elements of Harmony walked up and added themselves to the press of bodies, the group hug enveloping the princess of the day as she cried tears of loss and grief.
None knew how long that embrace lasted, as the seven ponies of every race tried to console their grieving princess with their love and affection… but before long, they joined her in her tears, giving vent to the two years of regret, of frustration, of horrors both inside and out.
None of them noticed when Luna lowered the sun, continuing the cathartic release of the years of pain in the cool night air.
Eventually, with the night came an accompanying calm, and Twilight gently asked, “Princess… you called him Emeris… I thought his name was Gary Stu…?”
“H-His name…” Celestia’s breath hitched before she forced herself to continue softly, “His name was Emeris Fillson, and he was not a bad person.”
“He was a good pony.”
Author's Note
No comment on my part.
Comments, criticism and thoughts are always appreciated.
Autobots... roll out.
