Please. If you don't want to see a horrible fafic that was made when I was bored, please turn away.
...
Alteratively, if you want to laugh at the creator for such a stupid fanfic... Please, read on!
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A Normal(?) Day in Ponyville.
There he sat, with a metal bowl full of popcorn on his lap and blue striped bathrobe on his back, completely diverged in darkness, he wrote:
"Dear Twilight Sparkle,"
...
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The lavender unicorn was scrambling, tearing books off the shelves of the bookcases in her sparsely furnished room. The window to the room was slightly ajar and a calm wind blew through the curtain.
Twilight was frustrated.
She was mad. Well, not exactly mad, more of an angry stress. She looked up and saw nothing but books and shelves, books and shelves..
She screamed out in her frustration.
The reason being is:
The Princess was coming down to ponyville for a small 'chat' with Twilight. Half the reason of this was because sh had lent Twilight a book on special illusion magic. It was a rare book indeed. Very rare, so rare that there were only 5 copies ever printed.
And I know what you're thinking.
"Oh gog she lost the book."
Which isn't entirely true.
This all happened just about... 2 hours ago... Now!
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It was 6:19 in the evening, and the day was great! Twilight and her friends had a little adventure saving Equestria... a third time.
It was incredibly hard to believe that an apple could cause so much trouble.
But that, is another story.
After the day was saved. (AGAIN.) Pinkie threw a party. (what a suprise) And Twilight happily went home to the tree/library that she was living in. She had a nice day. She saved the world with the Elements of Harmony, she had a nice lunch down by Sweet Apple Acres, and if that wasn't enough, she had written the perfect letter in her head to her mentor; Princess Celestia.
But when the unicorn came back from the party, she saw spike scrambling around, as if he were hiding something. As soon as she walked through the wooden doors, she saw her faithful assistant grinning a very guilty grin and a very clean treehouse.
"H-Hey Twilight! I just uhh just finished cleaning up the library for you, all nice and clean, yep! So, I'm going to go hit the hay and doze off, is that o-okay Twi? Okay thanks. G'Night!" Spike sped through in a hurry. He turned the corner to go upstairs... But that's when she spoke up.
"Spi-ike... What are you hiding?" She spoke with an irritated tone
"W-Well I-uhh.."
"Spike?"
"Re-remember th-that book T-the Princess g-gave you?"
She was starting to get worried
"Yes?"
"Well when I was cleaning up the kitchen after we ate, uhh, I was checking to see if everything is in order and, uhh, the book was gone."
Twilight was speechless. She couldn't even begin to imagine the punishment. This would be worse than Magic Kindergarden, Worse than being banished and then locked up to the place she was banished to...
She could almost see Rarity Popping in, pulling out a couch and then saying "This is the WORST POSSIBLE THING!" then faint on the couch.
"Uhh, Twilight?"
She was as pale as a ghost, who saw a ghost being turned into a zombie. She was whiter than Angel's fur, simply put it: SHE. WAS. SCARED.
"ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno" Twilight Sparkle paced around the room. Thinking of what she could possibly do to save herself. But she was drawing a blank.
That's when she was pulling books off the shelf looking for the book.
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The Lavender unicorn slouched down to the cold wooden floor, sighing.
She couldn't believe it.
Now, she wasn't the type of mare to just give up.
But she was scouring the house for TWO HOURS and she had checked EVERY. SINGLE. BOOK. But none of them was the 'Unicorn Illusion for Dummies; Special Edition' that she was looking for.
She was sitting in her room for what? An hour, 12 Hours, A day, she doesnt know.. Well, it felt something like 2 days.
Her ears perked up.
What was that?
She stood up now, hearing the noise. A rythmic pattern, It couldn't be spike, she could hear him snoring two blocks away.. This was different, she wasn't quite sure how to put it..
20% of her realized it 10 seconds before the crash (yeah I just did that.)
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
(Enter... Rainbow Dash!)
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Oh man, Oh man, She was late! She had to meet Twilight an hour ago!
she remembered The Unicorns strict instructions to meet her at her at the library at 8:00 for a-... uhh, something about... the colour beige? No.. no... was it tea? No..
Oh man she forgot.
First: the FASTEST flyer in equestria is late NOW she forgets why shes going to wherever it is she's going. Rainbow Dash zooms through the sky at top speed to get to the library where a lavender waits for her arrival. She'll remind her what she's doing there.
All this wind in my face is making it really hard to see...
The cyan pegasus closes her eyes for all of... 2 seconds? maybe?
All she knows is that by the time she opens them she sees the window to the top floor of the library in her field of vision.
"UH OOOOOH." Rainbow Dash yells very plaintively. (is that a word? well it is now.)
She smashes through the window with a large crash and lands {HAHAHAHAH I JUST MADE A POODLE OUT OF FLUFF ACCIDENTALY. ILL CALL HIM FLUFFEH. THE EATER OF GALAXIES.} straight under a bookshelf, making books tumble out of it onto her head and onto the floor.
"Ow." Rainbow rubs her head with her hoof. "Ooh, nice to see that you cleaned up your room for my visit." The pegasus quickly changes the subject of the broken window while scanning her surroundings.
There are books lying everywhere. The star covered blanket was hanging on the bed (barely) and the pillows were all out of whack. (What?) The bedside lamp was broken and there were glass shards all near the window.
"Oh, sorry Rainbow, I completely forgot that you were coming over for a visit." The purple mare sighs. "Sorry about the mess, it's just that I had lost an extremely important book-"
The Cyan Pegasus knows where this is going and starts examining the pile of books laying around her.
"You see the book was important to me because The Princess had lent it to me for a few days and I needed to learn what was inside it and show the princess the new tricks I'd learned and talk about my friendship reports and ..."
Rainbow Dash Really wasn't paying attention to Twilight.
...minutes later...
"... Inside a dungeon in the place she banished me to. Anyway, that's why it is Imperative that I find the book and Have it ready for The Princess tomorrow. The book is called Unicorn Illusion for Dummies; Special Edition." Twilight sighed after she finished her ranting.
Rainbow was half asleep, struggling to keep awake. But as soon as she heard the name, she looked at the book fort she had made while Twilight was talking and pulled out a seemingly random book out of one of the walls. She had almost cried when the fort came crashing to the ground.
"You mean this one?" Rainbow Dash hands Twilight the book.
Twilight was dumbfounded.
"What."
The Pegasus hands the book over to The Unicorn, and sure enough, covered in dust, reads the title 'Unicorn Illusion for Dummies; Special Edition.'
Once again. "What."
The two mares sit in silence for some minutes, listening to the sounds of nature.. And Spike's snoring.
Well, that is untill they hear choking sounds, coughing, and then a large belch in place of the snoring.
Twilight jumps up and rushes down the stairs, Rainbow folows. The two ponies see spike sitting in his bed, frightened, with a strange white envelope in his hands. But, at the time, no one knew what the envelope was.
"Spike, what's that?" Dash inquires
"I dunno." Spike answers "I just coughed it out, like one of celestia's letters, but instead of green, the fire was blue, and I had a hard time bringing it out."
The Blue Pegasus watches as The Purple Unicorn gently floats the small white package out of spikes grip and proceeds to open it:
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"Deer tWiliT SpauRkl, "
"uh,*HIC*" the man utters as he writes his letter to the fictional character also known as Twilight Sparkle. "Wha- what was I gouna shay ageen?" He says, very intoxicated by liquor. "OH YREAH 'De*HIC*Deer Twilit Spaurkl, I lauv yur show. I hwlav aahvryeethin aboo*HIC*t it. Ai hayv too shay, VIERI GUD JOUP AHN THA SPESHAL EFECTZ. Raly bulievable. Butt I canth rite aneymure beacuse I's tirred and wonya gotchou buyt.
Gad neet.
~Shaun Buran.
[Translation= Dear Twilight Sparkle, I love your show. I love everything about it. I have to say, very good job on the special effects. Really Believable. But I can't write anymore because I'm tired and gonna go to bed. Good Night -Alex Mirou (yep he was that drunk that he got his own name wrong.)]
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