Ooh Mama...

by Mattricole

Rating: teen
Tags: Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Discord, Diamond Tiara, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 12521

Discord, now trapped in stone, needs somepony, or someone, stupid enough to free him. And now he has found the perfect candidate, Johnny Bravo.

After being trapped in stone by the Mane Six, Discord uses what little power he has left to summon the one person stupid enough to free him...Johnny Bravo. But will Johnny be able to figure out he's being used in time to stop Discord once and for all?

...Probably not. Equestria is doomed.

Published 2012-12-18 10:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-02 01:59:08 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

Discord knew for a fact that turning to stone was never fun. Celestia and Luna had done it to him before, and now it had happened again, this time by six little ponies that he had thought he defeated. He turned them against each other, changed their personality's, and he even replaced Twilight's toothbrush with a slug. A SLUG! He thought for sure that would have guaranteed his victory...

Okay in hindsight that one was a little bit silly, but he's the God of Chaos, what was he supposed to do!?

So obviously it didn't work. Here he was, in the middle of a courtyard, wasting away as a statue trying to plot a way to escape his prison of stone, and as time went by it seemed rather pointless. At this point Discord could only think back at what he did wrong.

"Maybe I really should have invested in a sidekick," he mused to himself, "if they could get their hooves on an Alicorn amulet, I could use that to free myself. But it's too late now, no pony's stupid enough to trust me, if only there was thou-" that's when it hit him. He didn't need a pony! He just needed someone stupid enough to free him! But it couldn't be someone from this world, everyone already knew he would get rid of them as soon as they succeeded.

"But maybe they don't need to be from this world," he thought as he imagined an evil grin growing across his face. Using the last of what magic he had left, he searched the multiverse for the perfect fool to bring to Equestria. His search led him to a small world named Earth, and a house belonging to one blonde head idiot.

"Perfect," he would have smirked if he wasn't too stoned...

"For the last time Little Neighbor Girl, I am NOT going to the carnival with you!" a young man yelled, annoyed at the little girl pestering him for a date. His name was Johnny Bravo, a sadly single adult with no job and still living with his mom. In other words, pathetic. "...You trying to start a fight Mr. Narrator?" Johnny asked with a raised brow.

"Why not Johnny? It's going to be fun and amazing!" the Little Neighbor girl, whose real name was Suzy smiled as she imagined how fun the day would be, "It's not like you have anything better to do," she stated, causing Johnny to scoff.

"Little girl, that's just not true. I have many important things to do,"

"Like what?"

"Like...uh," Johnny stumbled for an answer. He honestly had nothing to do, "I have to...water the fridge! Yeah, the most important job of all," sometimes Johnny surprised even himself at how smart he truly was.

"...That doesn't make any sense,"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too infinity, HA!" Johnny reveled in triumph as he poked Suzy's nose gently, "nobody beats Johnny Bravo in a does not does too contest," just as he said that a giant apparition appeared. It had the head of a pony, and a body made up of various other creatures.

"hello John-"

"Demon Llama, AAAH!" Johnny screamed like a little girl as he threw various objects at the strange creature, including Little Suzy who unfortunately flew out the window.

"I *oof* am not *ah* A DEMON LLAMA!" Discord yelled to fall back in fright, "I am the mighty Discord-"

"Who?" Johnny quickly recovered.

"Discord, the God of Chaos, now will you let me fini-"

"You know, you're kind of ugly for a demon llama," Johnny pointed out as he looked Discord up and down, causing Discord to glare at the buffoon.

"I am NOT a DEMON LLAMA!"

"If you're just gonna yell all day, I'm just gonna get a bowl of nachos. Mmm, nachos," Johnny said dreamily as he went into the kitchen for the god like meal, causing Discord to groan in frustration.

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea..." the draconequus stated as he followed after the buffoon into the kitchen, "listen you, I am trying to offer you the deal of a lifetime!"

"The deal of a lifetime!?" Johnny spun around excitedly, "does this mean smoking hot babes," Discord could have sworn he saw a bit of drool come out of Johnny's mouth.

"Of course, whatever you want, you just have to do me a little favor first and I will grant you any wish,"

"Any wish?"

"Any wish," Discord confirmed, "all you have to do, is go to another dimension, steal the Alicorn amu-" however Johnny wasn't listening to Discords plan, at all.

Johnny's dreamland-

Johnny was on a tropical island, sitting upon a thrown of gold, surrounded by hundreds of beautiful women. It was a sunny day, the ocean calm, and the lady's were all giggling over him.

"oh Johnny," one cooed, " would you like to eat some chocolate, off of my breast?" she asked as she seductively removed her coconut bra.

"Oh baby, there's nothing I'd rather do than that," Johnny replied with a happy smile, however another girl pushed the other away.

"No Johnny," she protested, "eat whip cream off of my belly button instead!" suddenly all the girls were protesting, wanting Johnny to eat food off of their various body parts.

"Don't worry lady's," Johnny waved them off, "There's plenty of room in my stomach for all of your food," the girls giggled at this, and swarmed Johnny, as if he was a god.

End of dream-

"Ooooh mama," Johnny said quietly to himself.

"Did you get all that?" Discord questioned as he finished his grand plan.

"Hmm, oh yeah, sure, you get amulet, I get Island full of babes, got it!" Johnny saluted, excited for his grand prize.

"Perfect! Now to send you to another dimension full of talking ponies," Discord said as he snapped his fingers, causing Johnny to raise an eyebrow.

"Wait, wha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Discord couldn't help but smirk at the girly scream. All was going according to plan.

Author's Note

So this is my first attempt at an MLP story, and it has been YEARS since I last wrote anything, so hopefully this doesn't turn out so bad. I already know I need to work on description, so if you have any advice that could help, please state them. All criticism welcome, even the mean ones. I'm a big boy, I can handle it.

Johnny Bravo and the flying donkey of doom

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Equestria. The birds were singing, the filly's were playing, and Rainbow Dash was napping. Of course none of this mattered to Twilight, who was currently reading about mythological creatures. She had just come across an interesting creature, one called a human. According to her book, they were closely related to monkeys and apes, but were far more intelligent, more so than even ponies, the dominant species of their world. They were expert builders and have often done what was believed to be impossible for them, such as flight. Twilight couldn't help but feel fascinated with them.

"Oh what I wouldn't give to meet a real life human," she said to herself as she finished the book and put it away, "to study their anatomy, their diet, and even have a intelligent conversation with it!" she couldn't help but become giddy at the idea. Little did she know she was about to get her wish.

Rainbow Dash, as usual, was trying to take a nap after a hard days work of cloud patrol.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-"

Sure, she had several while on the job, but seeing as how she could clear the sky in ten seconds flat, she felt that it was her right, nay, her-

"AAAAAHHHHHH-" DUTY to take several naps. Preferably on a cloud, or this case, a tree. After all, she had to stay in pique physical condition to properly arrange or destroy clouds, all the while giving orders to her subordinates.

"AAAAAHHHH-"

"SHUT UP!" so imagine her surprise, and totally justifiable anger, as a large screaming monkey appeared under HER tree and started screaming like a little girl. The monkey, thank Celestia, then ceased his(?) screaming, and stared back at her.

"Sorry little guy," the monkey said to her with a salute, "I'm just used to some kind of bodily harm whenever something strange-OOMPH!" he was interrupted by a rather large tree falling on his head, burying him into the ground all the way to his chest, with a rather large bump on his head, "Oooh mama," he groaned, this just wasn't his day. Before Rainbow Dash could check on the strange creature, Pinkie quickly bounced over to her friend.

"Dashie, are you alright!?" the pink pony questioned, "I felt my tail twitch, and I thought..." she stopped when she noticed Johnny with a tree in his hair, "Oh my gosh, are you alright?" she asked as she threw the tree off of him and pulled him out of the ground. At that moment, as she gazed upon the mysterious creatures gorgeous face, his massive pecs, and hair that could rival Elvis Horsley's, it felt as if her heart skyrocketed, and exploded in a dazzling display of hearts.

"I think so," Johnny replied as he shook his head a bit, "thanks for the assist lil pink donkey," Johnny smiled at the mare, causing her to blush uncontrollably.

"My friend is not a donkey!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she pushed her face against Johnny's, "you trying to start something, bub!?"

"Whoa there, lil flying donkey," Johnny said as he pushed Rainbow back, "first of all, don't call me bub. The name's Johnny, HOO HAA, Johnny Bravo, and second of all, don't breathe on me, you smell like skittles, and I hate the smell of skittles," Johnny said with a wrinkled up nose, infuriating her further.

"I...am not...A DONKEY!" she bellowed as she tackled the buffoon.

"OOMHP, AH MY SPINE, not the hair, NOT THE-AAAAAAAHHHHH!" the following beating was so traumatic that we had to censor it for our younger viewers. Sorry about that.

"Had enough, monkey?" she asked with a smirk on her face. But Johnny was not done, at all.

"Now listen here, you living bag of skittles," he taunted as he got back up, "I don't care if you can fly, and I don't care if you can talk, no one, and I mean no one, touches the hair!" the two lunged at each other, intending to rip the other's throat out. However, Pinkie stepped in between the two, halting their advances.

"Pinkie, what are you-"

"Hey there, you sexy stallion," Rainbow Dash could have sworn her jaw dropped to the floor, "if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"PINKIE WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?"

"Whoa there, lil pink donkey, I'm not really into-"

"Hey sexy, I'm so sweet my teeth are filled with cavities," Rainbow Dash resisted the urge to hurl, while Johnny could only raise an eyebrow.

"...I could have sworn I used that pick up line somewhere," he muttered to himself, "listen, pink donkey, I'm flattered really, it's just, you're a donkey, and I'm a human, I can't possibly-" before he could finish, Pinkie shushed him with her hoof.

"Shh, my sexy little chimpanzee," she cooed, "I have a very special present, for my very special friend. Meet me at my place, and I'll throw you a private party, just the two of us, and I'll give you your present," she winked seductively, and proceeded to bounce away. Johnny couldn't help but shudder at the thought of what her 'present' was.

"This is easily the most creepiest thing that has ever happened to me," he said to himself after the pink mare bounced away humming to herself. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had finally found her voice again, and could only say one thing.

"...I think I'm going to puke,"

Author's Note

This took longer than I had hoped. Well, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. This is a lot more popular than I'd thought it be, so I am becoming very nervous as I post this. And because of this, I am now looking for an editor. If any of you would like to edit for me, please send me a pm or say so in the comments below. And one last thing, thanks for reading, and as always please let me know how to improve.

The Unicorn Formerly Known as Twilight Sparkle

The Unicorn Formerly Known as Twilight Sparkle

"Now listen here Skittles," Johnny said pointing at Rainbow "Skittles" Dash, "I don't like you, and you don't like me,"

"That's an understatement," Dash muttered to herself, glaring at the idiot who stole her friends heart.

"...You really can't shut up for ten seconds, can ya?" Johnny glared back, "but that's not important, the important thing is, I don't want anything to do with that little pink...thing, and you don't want her to have anything to do with me either, right Skittles?"

"Totally right, one thing though," she somehow grabbed Johnny by the collar of his shirt, bringing him eye level with her, "call me skittles one more time, AND I WILL FLY YOU TEN THOUSAND FEET INTO THE AIR AND DROP YOU!" she glared into his eyes, waiting for a witty retort.

"...Sorry, I blacked out there for a second, what did ya say again skittles?"

Needless to say Rainbow Dash followed through with her threat. Some say, if you listen carefully, when the stars are the clearest, and the moon is blood red, you can still hear the extremely girly scream of a deranged monkey.

The End...

"...Ooh mama," of course Johnny has survived much worse than a ten thousand foot drop, so after a very brief second of recovering from said fall, the two unlikely allies headed to the one Unicorn who could help them.

"Her name's Twilight Sparkle," Rainbow Dash said as she lead Johnny to a rather large tree, "she's one of, no scratch that, she is the smartest unicorn, no, pony in all of Equestria! If anypony can get you out of my mane, it's her," she spoke confidently, "I just hope she doesn't have a nerdgasm just by meeting you,"

"Nerdgasm?"

"She's a bit of an egghead," she elaborated, "trust me, you'll get what I mean soon enough," she finished when she opened Twilight's door.

"Hello, how may I help *gasp* IS THAT A HUMAN!?" she screamed as she pounced on Johnny.

"Huh, guess she really did have a nerdgasm," Rainbow said to herself, quietly backing away from her friend.

"Whoa there, you little narwal," he said as he held Twilight by the scruff of her neck, "whoa, even I'm surprised I know what that is," he muttered to himself.

"He even talks," tears in her eyes, Twilight couldn't help herself as she gently rubbed Johnny's face with her hoof.

"...You're starting to really creep me out kid," Johnny said before dropping the lavender equine.

"Yeah, I have to agree with Johnny on this on Twilight,"

"You don't understand Rainbow Dash!" Twilight shot a glare at her friend, "this is a human! Long to be thought of as mere legends! Their intelligence and knack for building is unfathomable!"

"Unfathofha-what?" Skittles had never even heard of that word before.

"Unfathomable, it, it's without fathom,"

"That doesn't really tell me what it-"

"Hey, got any nachos? I'm starving," Johnny said, his stomach grumbling for food. After all he hadn't eaten since that strange demon donkey summoned him.

"Anything for you oh magnificent specimen," Twilight replied quickly, looking at him with wide, adoring eyes.

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she stopped Twilight from fetching the nachos, "Twilight, you have to find a way to get this guy as far from here as possible!"

"ARE YOU INSANE!?" Twilight roared at her friend, "why in the name of Celestia's beard would I do that!?"

"...Celestia has a beard?" was it just her, or was Twilight acting stranger than normal?

"N-no?" Twilight questioned herself, "that's odd, why did I say that all of a sudden?" Twilight rubbed her chin in thought, unable to answer her own question.

"Anyways," Rainbow nudged her friend, cutting Twilight out of her stupor, "the reason we need to get rid of this guy fast is because Pinkie fell in love with him,"

"SHE DID WHAT?!" Twilight had to resist the urge to barf, "but, that's like bestiality!"

"Which is why we need to get rid of him as soon as possible!"

"...I'm starting to get the feeling I'm being ignored," Johnny complained to himself. Twilight weighed her options, on one hoof, here was a human, a mythological creature and a once in a lifetime opportunity to learn so many new things, and on the other was Pinkie falling in love with said creature.

"In the name of science, IT IS WORTH THE RISK!" Twilight exclaimed as she stood on her hind legs, pointing to the sky.

"...okay, Twilight, are you sick?" Rainbow Dash said as she put a hoof to Twilight's forehead, "cause you've been acting really weird all of a sudden,"

"I think I'm fine," she said, getting back on all fours, "by the way, how did you find, Johnny was it?" Dash nodded at this, "how did you find him?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, earning a questioning look from Twilight, "*sigh*, look, I was taking a nap, when all of a sudden, he popped out of no where, screaming like a little girl,"

"I was not!" Johnny retorted, crossing his arms and looking away, slightly out of embarrassment, "besides, you'd be surprised too if a demon llama teleported you to a different dimension!"

"What is he talking about Twilight?" Rainbow Dash turned to her friend. However the only thing she could see on Twilight's face was fear, "Twilight, are you okay?"

"You're from, another dimension?" her voice quivered as she spoke each syllable, receiving only a nod from Johnny, "Oh no, oh no oh no oh no ohnoohnoohnooh THIS IS REALLY BAD!" she yelled, dripping with sweat.

"Twilight, what's wrong," Rainbow couldn't hide the fear in her voice, watching her friend pace back and fourth.

"Johnny, you have to explain to me very carefully about who sent you here and why!" Twilight practically yelled, unable to hide the urgency in her voice.

"Uh, okay," Johnny replied, though still slightly miffed at not getting his nachos, "you'll have to give me a minute, it's a bit hazy," he said as he rested his chin on his fist, thinking as hard as he could. Seconds turned into minutes, and then two, and then thirty, until a full hour passed.

"JOHNNY WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR-"

"I remember!" Johnny exclaimed as he stood, accidentally knocking Twilight on her flank, "okay, there was this demon llama,"

"yes," Twilight urged.

"and he said he'll grant me a wish if I did something," Twilight nodded at this with a smile, "His name...was DISCO!" Twilight's smile soon dropped, her mouth hanging open and her left eyebrow raised.

"His name...was Disco?"

"Yup," Johnny smiled with a hint of pride.

"Well what did he want?" at that he lost that proud smile of his.

"Uh, let's see," he said, replacing his fist under his chin, thinking back to that moment in time, "he said something about the all of the corn amulet, and being stoned,"

"...huh?" came the intelligent response from Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

"That's it! The demon llama named Disco, wanted the all of the corn in the world, so he could cure himself, of his marijuana addiction!

"Wait, what does marijuana have to do with anything?" the lavender pony interjected.

"Ponies who use marijuana are known as stoners," Rainbow Dash replied, having a faraway look in her eyes, "ah, good times, good times," earning a shocked look from her friend, "anyways, why are you so upset that he's from another dimension?" at this Twilight facehoofed.

"I don't have time to explain!" she yelled as she brought a book from a nearby shelf, "but now that I know how Johnny got here, I can send him back!" she flipped through the pages, before landing at the spell she was looking for, "READY!?"

"Wait, wha-AAAAAH!" Johnny screamed as he was shot by a lavender colored beam, followed by an explosion, causing both mares to fall to the ground, while Johnny was launched far away, towards the Everfree Forest.

"Ow," Rainbow Dash muttered as she picked herself up. There was smoke everywhere she looked, "Twilight, you okay!?" she yelled as she looked for her friend. Hearing a groan not to far from her, she quickly made her way towards the lavender mare, "Twilight, you okay!?" she repeated her question as she picked up her friend. As soon as Twilight opened her eyes, she gazed at Rainbow Dash with a small smile.

"I am now, baby!" Twilight squealed as she got up and held Rainbow Dash low to the ground, "did I ever tell you I have beautiful eyes?" Twilight asked as she leaned towards Rainbow Dash.

"TWILIGHT WHAT ARE YOU DO-" she was interrupted as Twilight kissed her. She couldn't keep herself from gasping, which only prompted Twilight, to shove her tongue into Rainbow's mouth, twisting and turning it as she pleased. After a minute of struggle, she was finally able to get away from the insane mare, "WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YOU TWILIGHT!?"

"Hey baby, wanna see how many ways I can use my horn?" Twilight flirted as she attempted to grab Rainbow Dash once again. Dashie did the only thing she could think of. She flew away. She flew as far and fast away as possible. As Twilight watched her friend gain distance, only two words escaped her mouth.

"Yeah whatever."

Chaos in Ponyville

Chaos in Ponyville

Apple Bloom couldn't help but think lately, things in Ponyville have been...weird. it was subtle, and one could barely notice it, but everypony wasn't acting like themselves. They were acting...weird.

"Everypony say thank you to Diamond Tiara for the cupcakes!" Miss Cheerilee said as she watched Diamond give everypony a cupcake, saving Apple Bloom for last.

"Thank you Diamond Tiara!" everypony sang as they ate their delicious treat, as Diamond finally got to Apple Bloom.

"I'm not doing this for you, blank flank," she muttered angrily as she almost shoved the cupcake into Apple Bloom's face, "I only gave you one because daddy said so," she glared at the filly, before her eyes softened and caressed Apple Bloom's face, "oh why can't I quit you?" she asked, more to herself than to Apple Bloom, promptly taking her seat next to the filly.

Yeah, REALLY weird. Worst of all nopony else seemed to notice, not even her sister. As she went to take a bite out of her cupcake, she noticed a note taped to the bottom of the pastry. She took it out and read it in her head.

Dear Blank Flank,
Meet me by the playground after school

-Diamond Tiara

Apple Bloom couldn't shake the feeling of dread spreading throughout her body.

After school was over with, Apple bloom did as the note told her and went to the playground to meet with Diamond Tiara. After a few seconds she spotted the spoiled brat near the slide. Walking up to her Apple Bloom braced herself for the worst.

"Well well well, if it isn't the blank flank?" the pink filly growled, "what took you so long, can't read?" Apple Bloom couldn't help but sigh in annoyance.

"Dang it, Diamond, what da ya'll want already?" she asked, just wanting to leave already.

"Listen here you blank flank!" the filly growled back, grabbing the filly by her shoulders, scaring the poor girl, "Don't you dare talk to me like that! You're nothing more, than a stupid, piece of garbage, blank flank loser!" her eyes once again softened, "most wonderful, cute, doe-eyed mare I have ever had the pleasure to gaze upon," she finished as she gently caressed said mare's cheeks.

"W-what?" Apple Bloom couldn't hide the shock from her voice. Did Diamond Tiara really just said that?

"You heard me my angel," Diamond responded, holding Apple Bloom closer than ever, causing both fillies hearts to skip a beat, "I can no longer hide my feelings for you, my sweet apple pie," Diamond leaned in and captured the young fillies mouth with her own, pushing the innocent filly gently to the ground.

Apple Bloom felt as she was on cloud nine. She pushed into the kiss, deepening it as she gently held Diamond against her chest.

Maybe being weird ain't so wrong after all.

Author's Note

And Johnny's existence in a different universe continues to plunge it into chaos. And no one notices a thing.

This is a side story, basically showing how Johnny's existence in Equestria effects the minds of others. Hopefully this is well received, and is meant to be more funny. After all, can you really imagine DT doing this to Apple Bloom, with Apple Bloom LIKING it no less!?

...though I do want to write a ship fic with these two now.

Obsessions of a Teenage Marshmallow RAW

"It's such a beautiful day, don't you think Angel?" Fluttershy nuzzled her pet rabbit, as he sat there eating his carrot, "the sun is shining, not a single cloud in the sky, it's not to hot, and it's not to cold-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" Fluttershy and Angel stared in awe as a big monkey flew through the air, screaming like a little filly and waving his arms around. It flew straight to the Everfree Forest, and landed with a loud thud.

"Oh my," she said to herself, "I hope the poor thing's alright, oh, what should I do Angel?" she stared expectantly at the white bunny. Angel could only stare back at his master, with a slightly irritated look on his face. He then lifted his paw and pointed in the general vicinity of where the ape landed, "you're right Angel! I can't leave that poor, defenseless creature on their own! I must help them!" she said bravely as she stood in place, "...can you come with me?" she asked trembling, her brave facade vanishing without a trace. Angel could only sigh to himself. It was going to be one of those days.

Oh mama," Johnny said as he lifted himself off of the ground. After dusting himself off he took a look at his surroundings, "tree's, lots and lots of tree's," he couldn't stop himself from sighing from the boring scenery.

"HELP ME!!!" a loud, feminine, voice rang out, not to far from where Johnny was. Johnny quickly ran over to where the voice rang out, and spotted a yellow pegasus, being surrounded by several wolves that appeared to be made of wood.

"Oh no! That yellow mule is about to be attacked by a bunch of wooden chihuahua's!" he shouted in panic, causing both pegasus and Timberwolves to look in his direction, "...maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud," the timberwolves, seeing a much larger and dumber prey, quickly launched themselves at him, snarling as they did so.

Quickly jumping out of the way, Johnny quickly surveyed his surroundings, quickly finding just the tools he needed to face the dreaded beasts.

"Cool, beavers nyhaha," he laughed to himself as he picked up the two creatures...and tied their tails together. The timberwolves, not understanding why the idiot did so, merely shrugged at one another, before commencing their attack on the blonde haired buffoon.

"You may not know this by looking at me," Johnny said as he held the tied together beavers like a pair of nunchaku, "but I'm a master of the art of BEAVER FU!" he cried as he swung the beavers as if in random directions, causing any timberwolves in range to be instantly shredded into sawdust. Momentarily stopping his rampage, johnny found that only one frightened timberwolf remained, shaking uncontrollably, "...HOOWOW!" the cry was enough for the timberwolf to run off, crying as it did so back to it's den. Johnny smiled to himself as he untied the two beavers, both glaring at him, but simply walked off as best they could, having difficulty walking straight.

"Thank you," Johnny turned to the yellow mule, who for some reason had a bunny on her back, "if you hadn't come along, me and Angel would have been done for," the mare blushed as she looked at her savior.

"No problem little mule," Johnny replied as he patted her head, causing her to blush even more so, "the name's Johnny, HOOWOW, Johnny Bravo," he said, posing for the yellow mule.

"I'm Fluttershy, oh, and I'm not a mule, I'm a pegasus,"

"Hey, isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?" Johnny asked, scratching his head.

"Um, no, that's tetanus, oh, and that's just a misconception, tetanus is actually caused by-"

"Hey, I'm hungry, got any nachos?" Johnny interrupted, rubbing his stomach as he did so.

"Um, uh, I'm sorry," Fluttershy said as she hung her head low.

"Aw man!" Johnny groaned as he fell to his knees, "now what am I gonna eat?" Fluttershy stared at her savior, it wouldn't be right to let him starve, especially after that nasty fall he had...

"...I think I have some week old doughnuts in the fridge,"

"Week old doughnuts?!" Johnny shouted with glee, "well what are we waiting for, let's go!" he sped off like a bullet into the distance. However a few seconds later he returned, "uh, which way we going again?" he asked with a hint of embarrassment. Fluttershy couldn't stop herself from smiling, he was quite the strange monkey...

"Follow me, my cottage isn't too far off," she said as she held Johnny's hand in her hoof, leading him to her home, blushing all the while.

"Thanks alot fer agreeing to help me out Rare's," Applejack said, bucking the closest apple tree, "I mighty appreciate you coming by an all."

"Oh, it's no problem deary," Rarity replied, using her magic to grab the buckets of apples that Applejack filled just now, setting them on a nearby cart, "I'd do anything for you," she said as she followed Applejack to another tree, staring lovingly at her flank as she did so.

Recently, Rarity just couldn't get Applejack out of her mind. That rustic charm, her well toned legs, those cute little freckles that adorned her face, IT WAS KILLING HER!

"Well, that's mighty kind of ya Rare's," Rarity couldn't help but blush at the nickname, "hey, after we're a done here, let's git somethin' ta eat, just the two of us!" Applejack said as she finished putting the buckets around the tree.

"I, uh, would love to," Rarity said as she scratched the back of her hind leg. Her heart felt like it was going a hundred miles a second, sweat poured down her head as she thought of the wonderful evening she would have with her beloved Apple strudle, "um, Applejack, there's something I've been meaning to-"

"Hey, is that Twilight?" Applejack said as she saw the lavender mare approaching them at top speed. Rarity however only glared at the despicable nuisance.

HOW DARE SHE INTERRUPT MY DOWN TIME WITH APPLEJACK!? dark thoughts swarmed inside her head, if she ruins this for me I will DESTROY HER!

"Howdy Twilight!" Applejack waved as Twilight came to a stop, "what brings you here-"

"Hey sexy mama!" Twilight flirted as gazed into Applejack's eyes, "is your name Micky? Cause you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind!" both Applejack and Rarity were stunned, did Twilight really just say that?

"Uh, Twilight?" the orange mare began cautiously, "are ya'll feeling all right?"

"Hey, did you know I'm a master of tongue fu?" Twilight grabbed Applejack and held her bridal style, "I call this one 'the swirly'"

"the wha-" she was interrupted by Twilight's tongue covering her face, moving about in a circular fashion, Rarity could do nothing but stare in horror.

"How'd you like that baby!" Twilight asked as she let go of Applejack, who attempted to crawl away.

"Rare's, help me," she begged as she reached a hoof towards Rarity, who was simply trembling, "uh, Rare's, ya'll alrigh-"

"Applejack....belongs....to.....ME!!!!" Rarity yelled as she ran up to Twilight, and bucked her so hard she flew off into the distance. She then slowly turned to Applejack, grinning sinisterly as she did so.

"Uh, Rarity, why are ya staring at me like-"

"Twilight may have taken your first kiss," Rarity said, slowly walking towards Applejack, who still was laying on the ground, "so I'll just have to take something else," she chuckled as she stood above a sweating Applejack.

"...mah hat?" Applejack asked with a nervous smile, filled with both hope and despair. Rarity merely chuckled at the joke, caressing the orange mare gently.

"I was thinking something more, engaging," she answered as her face inched closer to Applejacks, allowing her to smell the other mare's breathe.

"What da ya'll mean by, engaging?" Rarity's mouth was now a mere centimeter from Applejack's.

"Your hoof," her eyes bulged in fear, "in marriage," at that Applejack sighed in relief.

"Oh, that all? I thought you were a gonna cut mah-" her eyes bulged once again, "MARRIAGE!?"

"Something is definitely going on with my little ponies," Celestia said as she descended upon her faithful student's humble abode, "hopefully Twilight will be able to shed some light on-" a small body suddenly crashed before her, a small lavender body, "Twilight, are you alright!?" she asked in concern as she nuzzled the young mare.

"Ugh, my head," Twilight said as she got up.

That's strange Celestia thought to herself, she should be knocked out from such an impact deciding to forget about that for now, she checked over her student to see if she was injured, though it appeared she was just fine, Celestia releasing a breathe she did not know she was holding. Twilight finally noticed the princess and smiled happily.

"Hey there, sexy mama," Twilight wiggled her eyebrows, "wanna see how many ways a unicorn horn can cause pleasure," Celestia's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"P-pardon?!" Celestia resisted the urge to run away.

"Hey, wanna check out my pecs!?" Celestia could only stare in horror as her star pupil flexed her non existent pecs.

Something was definitely wrong.

Love is in the Air

Johnny felt as if he was in heaven. The week old doughnuts Flubberguy gave him were just as good, if not better, than his mama's week old doughnuts, and those are hard to top! He continued shoving them down his throat, until he saw Flubberguy looking at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

"...Want one?" he offered her the third time that day.

"Um, no thank you, I'm not hungry," she replied, smiling back at him. He could have sworn he heard a 'squee' when she did that. Oh well, that just meant there was more for him. He continued eating the doughnuts until there was no more, and he felt thoroughly stuffed.

"Ah," he sighed in content as he leaned back on the chair his host most graciously offered him, "thanks for the doughnuts Flubberguy,"

"Fluttershy,"

"Right, Flutterbye, what I say?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, earning a smile and a shake of the head from the yellow pegasus.

Before Fluttershy had the chance to correct Johnny, a loud knock was heard throughout the small cottage.

"Oh my, I wonder who could that be?" Fluttershy asked herself as she went to answer the door.

"If it's that little neighbor kid, make sure to slam the door in her face," Johnny said with a scowl.

"Now Johnny, that would be awfully rude," she gave a small, though unintimidating, glare at the macho man, causing him to scoff in annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever," he said as Fluttershy answered the door.

"HI FLUTTERSHY!" a loud pink pony greeted as she jumped inside the cottage, a large grin adorning her face.

"Oh, hello Pinkie Pie," Fluttershy replied with a small smile of her own as she watched her friend jumping up and down in excitement.

"Pinkie Pie?" Johnny asked with a raised eyebrow, "now where have I heard that name before?"

"Huh, what was that noise?" Pinkie asked as she peaked inside the kitchen, "*GASP* MY LOVE IT'S YOU!"

"AAAAHH!" Johnny let out a terrifyingly high pitched scream as he leaped through the window and ran off, screaming as he did so.

"COME BACK MY LOVE!" Pinkie yelled out as she leaped out the window to follow her masculine monkey, "I HAVE CANDY!"

Fluttershy could only stare in horror as she watched her savior being chased by one of her closest friends. However, her face quickly turned into a scowl, and then into a face of pure rage, eyebrows knitted together, her breathing became ragged with hate.

"I won't...let you...get away...with THIS!" she yelled out, flying out of the window to chase the pink menace with speed that would make Rainbow Dash proud.

"Ah don't know Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said with a bit of apprehension, "ah don't think mah sister would appreshi-apreci-...like it if we cut down one of dem apple trees."

"Oh come on Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo threw her arms into the air, "how else will we get our lumberjack cutie marks?" she asked with a questioning stare.

"How is mah family gonna live if ya'll cut down our livlihood?" Apple Bloom shot back with an intense glare, causing the pegasus to back off.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point there," Scootaloo agreed, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof.

"Did you hear that Silver Spoon?" Diamond Tiara asked her friend as they strutted into the classroom.

"As if I didn't," she said with a smirk, "lumberjacks? Really? That is so TOTALLY lame!" the two fillies laughed as they walked up to the three friends.

"Hey!" Scootaloo glared at the two fillies, "lumberjacks are NOT lame! Right Sweetie Belle?" she smirked at her friend, knowing she had her back.

"Oh, um, y-yeah?" Sweetie replied back with the biggest smile she could make.

"Oh come on! Is lumberjacking really that bad an idea!?" she yelled out in frustration, everypony just giving her a blank stare.

"If that's the best idea you could come up with," Diamond Tiara began.

"It's no wonder your still BLANK FLANKS!!!" Diamond and Silver Spoon said in unison, laughing all the while and earning a glare from the three fillies.

"Dang it Diamond, quit making fun of us!" Apple Bloom yelled as grabbed a hold of Diamond's hoof.

"Why should I?" she shook off Apple Bloom's hoof with a snort, with a small blush adorning her face from the close contact.

"'Cause if you do," Apple Bloom grabbed Diamond by the shoulders, inching her mouth towards the other's ear, "ah'll wear that outfit ya'll love so much," she said with a smirk, causing Diamond's blush to deepen, and even a little bit of drool coming out of her mouth.

"Wh-wha-what?" the pink filly managed to squeak out.

"And if yer really good," she continued, her smirk turning just a bit lustful, "maybe ah'll do that thing with mah tongue ya'll like so much," at this point Diamond Tiara was shivering with excitement, as Apple Bloom let go of her and sat back down in her seat.

"Diamond, you okay?" Silver Spoon asked, shaking her friend a little bit.

"Yes, fine indeed, come Silver Spoon, we have better things to do, ta ta," Diamond said quickly as she sat down, eagerly awaiting the end of class. Silver Spoon only nodded, glancing quickly at Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow, and proceeded to take her seat.

"Whoa, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo began with a huge smile on her face, "what did you say to her!?"

"Yeah, seriously, I've never seen Diamond so..." she stared at said filly, still shaking in her seat, sweat pouring down her face with a nervous, almost excited, look on her face, "...what did you say?"

"Well, let's just say ah have a, silver tongue," she glanced at Diamond as she said that, causing the other to let out a silent moan.

"But Granny ah don't wanna git married!" Applejack complained as she stood on a hastily built altar that was sitting in front of the barn. On the altar was Mayor Mare, acting as the priest of the ceremony, who was busy adjusting her hair and practicing her lines to herself. Applejack was wearing a hastily, but fabulous, made tuxedo and her handy dandy stretson hat.

"Ah want great grandchildren," her granny stubbornly replied with a firm glare.

"But what about mah happiness?" Applejack complained, pulling at the collar of her tuxedo.

"Ah want great grandchildren!" Granny Smith once again proclaimed, a bit louder than last time.

"But we're both mare's! Two mare's can't have-"

"AH WANT GREAT GRANDCHILDREN!"

"AARRRG!" Applejack threw her hoof's in the air in frustration. Sometimes there just was no reasoning with that old bag of bones.

"And that argument's invalid, why, unahcorns have dem magical horns and can procreate with dem horns of there's, trust me, ah know," Granny Smith smiled, winking at her granddaughter.

"...How do ya'll know that?" Applejack asked with a groan, shaking her head in disgust. At that moment, the song 'Here Come's the Bride' was being played by her big brother, Big McIntosh, on the bongo's. Why Rarity chose to have the song played on the bongo's was beyond her.

Rarity then exited the barn, in a beautiful, but hastily created, wedding gown. It was a white gown, that clung tightly to her torso, with beautiful frills shaped like butterfly's spiraling down to her waist, spreading out to create a thin gap, just big enough for her hind legs to be unhindered so she wouldn't trip. All four of Rarity's hoof's had on crystal shoes. She would have gone with high heels, but then she would have been taller than the 'groom'. Applejack couldn't take her eyes off of Rarity, silently cursing the veil that adorned her beautiful face.

No, NO! Applejack silently cursed to herself, ah don't wanna git married, ah DON'T WANNA GIT MARRIED! conflicted for the first time during the ceremony, Applejack watched as Rarity finally stood beside, oh so close beside her, as both turned to Mayor Mare, who grinned at the lovely couple, after all, it wasn't everyday you got to attend two of the element's of harmony's wedding, let alone replacing the priest that typically wedded the groom and bride.

"We are gathered here today," she began, until she realized the only attendee's were Granny Smith and Big McIntosh. She simply shrugged to herself, and decided to skip the formalities, "Do you, Rarity Angelica Nephestis Quadruple Kick Belle take Applejack Apple as your blushing...bride?" she asked with uncertainty, not used to lesbian lovers.

"I do," Rarity answered with no hesitation, gazing lovingly at the orange mare, causing Applejack to blush. Mayor Mare couldn't help but smile at the blushing mare.

"And do you, Applejack Apple, take Rarity Angelica Nephestis Quadruple Kick Belle as your blushing, uh, bride?"

"I, uh...uh," Applejack stuttered as she played her response like a mantra in her head, just say no, just say no, just say NO! she kept shouting in her head as she gazed at Rarity, her heart beating like a drum, "...ah do," she finally said, resolution clearly in her voice.

"Then in the power vested in me, I now pronounce you mare and...uh...mare? You may now kiss the...other bride," Mayor Mare stated, embarrassed at her poor performance, but neither mare really cared about it, all they saw was each other. Applejack slowly lifted the veil, finally revealing the face of her love.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"I've always loved you," Rarity whispered as she leaned towards Applejack.

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

"And ah love you Rarity, more than ennething in the world," Applejack leaned in, her muzzle centimeters away from Rarity's, there mouth's about to meet.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Okay, what in tarnation is that noi-" before Applejack could finish a large bumbling idiot crashed through the altar, causing Rarity to trip and fall into a nearby mud pit, "Rarity! Are ya'll alright!?" Applejack yelled out as she went to get Rarity out of the mud.

"COME BACK MY YELLOW HAIRED LITTLE MONKEY!"

"Wha-" before Applejack could finish Pinkie Pie slammed into her, causing the both of them to fall into the mud pit, "Pinkie, what are ya'll do-"

"HiRarityhiApplejackbyeRariybyeApplejack!" Pinkie greeted/farewell'd as she ran off and grabbed Johnny, who was in a daze from slamming into the altar.

"BEGONE PINK DEMON!" Johnny yelled out trying to shake off the pink menace.

"I'm ugly! I'M UGLY!!!!" Rarity cried out, covered head to hoof in mud, with Applejack trying to console her as best as possible.

"Now listen here, my little marshmallow, yer the pertiest, sexiest, gosh darn hottest mare in all of Equestria, and a lil mud ain't gonna change that," Applejack said, holding Rarity close to her and patting her back.

"*sniff*, you really think so-"

"RRAAWWGGGUGUGI!" Fluttershy yelled out, rushing past the two lovers and tackled Pinkie and Johnny to the ground, trying to wrestle Johnny out of Pinkie's grasp, "MINE!"

"No, he's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"He promised to eat dinner with me!"

"He promised to party with me!"

"...I don't remember promising those," Johnny muttered to himself,

"He promised to take care of my animals with me!"

"HE PROMISED TO PARTY WITH ME!"

"HE PROMISED TO FU-"

"What is going on here!?" a large flare of light appeared as if from no where as Celestia, along with Twilight, appeared before everyone.

"They ruined our wedding!" Applejack glared at the three intruders.

"Fluttershy's stealing my love!" Pinkie glared at Fluttershy.

"Pinkie is a SLUT!!!" Fluttershy yelled out, glaring at Pinkie.

"Oh no!" Johnny yelled out while cradling his head, "I completely forgot about freeing Disco!"

"Ooo, mud wrestling!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly when she saw Rarity and Applejack in the mud, "Oh yeah, spank that flank!" Celestia sighed to herself, and decided to ignore her student for now. She then walked up to Johnny, and smiled at the young man as she pulled Pinkie and Fluttershy off of him with her magic.

"Greetings Johnny Bravo, I am Celestia, princess of Equestria, and I have much to tell you," she said as she smiled at the young man.

"...it's not going to be long is it?" he asked with some disdain, causing the princess to laugh a little.

"I'll be sure to make it quick," she answered, and began her tale.

Author's Note

Next chapter will be short, since it just explains what is going on, and then, the final chapter, followed by the epilogue! Yay!
So basically the next chapter's gonna suck since it's just exposition...yay?

Oh yeah, FimFic user Ponyzilla has created a brony interview site, and she needs our help. She is looking for interviewers, forum designers, advertisers, and many more. If you are interested in this epic idea, visit her blog here at

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/109923/recruiting-help-for-a-new-brony-interview-site

Obligatory Exposition

Obligatory Exposition

"Twilight what in the world has gotten into you!?" Celestia panicked as she watched in horror as her star pupil flexed in front of her.

"Nothing baby, just a strong desire to take you on the Twi train, whoo hoo!" Twilight replied as she repeatedly pumped her hoof in the air, shaking her hips provocatively, earning a glare from her teacher.

"This must have something to do with the disturbances I've been feeling," she reasoned to herself, "why else would my prized pupil act as if she were some sexual deviant?" she said as she rubbed her chin with her hoof, "Twilight, I'll need you to explain to me what exactly is going on," she stated as she looked at her pupil, who was currently admiring herself in a nearby puddle.

"Oh yeah Twilight, I gotta say, I'm so sexy, even I would do me," she smiled at herself, before turning towards her teacher, "wait, what?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Celestia to face hoof with a groan.

"I want you to explain to me what made you this way," Celestia stated once again, this time glaring at her student to grab her attention.

"Ooh, feisty, me likey," Twilight replied with a goofy grin, "alright sugar muffin, I'll do whatever you say," she replied with a sultry voice, slowly licking her lips as she gazed at her mentor.

...This is going to take awhile I see Celestia thought to herself, unfazed by her student's unwanted affection. After what felt like hours, Celestia was finally able to get Twilight to explain that earlier, Rainbow Dash had met a human, a mythological creature, and how she brought him to Twilight in order to get rid of him.

"I later found out that Johnny, that's his name, is not originally from this world," Twilight said as she entered into the ruins of her library, sifting through all the books until she came across the spell book she used earlier, "as you know, when a being from another universe crosses into another universe, small bouts of chaos happens. Nothing major, mild changes in personality being the worse case scenario. Of course, our universe is a bit...different," Twilight paused, allowing her teacher to catch up with what she was saying. It only took a second for Celestia to understand what Twilight meant.

"It's Discord you're worried about," she stated with a sigh.

"Bingo hot momma!" Twilight said with a grin, causing Celestia to groan, "Discord feeds off of chaos. The longer Johnny stays here, the more chaos Discord will consume, which will inevitably lead to his re-release," it was at this point Twilight started flipping through the pages, "when Johnny explained how Disco the demon llama sent him here to free him from his marijuana addiction with all of the corn, I knew I had no choice but to send him back, so I used this spell," she said as she magically gave Celestia the book in question, showing her the spell. However Celestia pulled the book down a bit, her eye brow raised and gave her student a questioning glance.

"Disco the demon llama?" she questioned with a tilt of her head. Twilight could only shrug her shoulders, giving her teacher an equally confused look.

"At this point, taking account for all the information I currently have, I can only assume Johnny miss heard. I think he meant that he was to free discord from his stone imprisonment with...well, I couldn't actually figure out that last bit," she rubbed her neck and chuckled, "anyway, just check out the spell I used!" Twilight insisted as she nudged the book back towards her teachers face, almost smacking her in the process.

"Oh alright," Celestia sighed to herself. Sometimes her student could be so impatient. She then attempted to read the contents of the book, however quickly gave up and gave her student a blank stare, "Twilight?"

"Yeah sexy mama?" Twilight replied as she turned away from a hoof mirror she acquired out of no where.

"How do you expect me to read this when there are drawings of some blue unicorn adorning the pages?" Celestia almost yelled out, glaring at her student for wasting precious time. Twilight however only laughed off her question, shrugging in the process.

"What can I say, that Trixie was one sexy layday!" she sang as she pumped her hoof into the air, earning another glare from Celestia.

"Twilight, need I remind you of the rush we are in?" Celestia asked calmly with a glare, trying her best not to explode in anger. After all, a princess must always keep her cool even in the most dire of situations.

"Alright alright, keep your tiara on," Twilight said as she sat down and coughed a few times, loosening her larynx for the lengthy explanation, "basically the user uses magic to seep into the mind of the target. The spell then uses the mind of the target to pinpoint what universe that target is originally from. This is the only way to find the proper universe because each universe has it's own set of laws. Like in our universe, it is impossible to survive a thousand mile drop, while in Johnny's universe, that kind of fall will cause at most a few broken bones. The spell then sends the target back to their original universe. However if the spell is done even slightly wrong, then it backfires. Because in order to use the spell the user has to mingle with the targets mind, if it goes wrong then the personality traits of the target is copied and transfered into the user."

"Metaphysical Eyes," Celestia stated with a trembling voice, "oh Twilight, you should have known better than to use such a complex spell! You're not ready!" Celestia could no longer withhold her anger as she stepped menacingly close to her student, who could only smile in anticipation.

"Ooh I like it rough!" she barked out, her small body trembling with excitement. However her words had the opposite reaction for what she was hoping for, causing Celestia to back off just a bit.

"...I'm starting to fear what this Johnny of your's is like," Celestia muttered just loud enough for Twilight to hear, shaking her head at her student's new found perverted personality.

"Oh don't worry, he's not into ponies," she waved off, causing Celestia to let out a breath she did not know she was holding in, "anyway, we should probably go and get Johnny before Discord re-awakens, "Twilight then scratched her chin with her hoof in thought, "maybe Applejack and Rarity saw Johnny? After all I'm fairly certain he flew off in that general direction," she offered, eliciting a nod from the princess. Celestia's horn suddenly glowed a faint yellow, as she teleported Twilight and herself to Sweet Apple Acres,

"So you see Johnny, you being here is a threat to all of Equestria," Celestia finished her tale, pausing to allow Johnny to mull over the new information he had been presented.

"...Sorry I didn't understand any of that, could you repeat that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, though Celestia resisted the urge to groan and kept smiling.

"Basically I'm going to send you home before Discord get's the chance to return," she said as she charged up her magic.

"Oh but my dear Celestia," a voice from nowhere trembled around them, "I'm already hear!!!" an all to familiar voice rang out with a laugh, as Discord poofed in front of them, glaring at all those who were present. Celestia glared at the Draconequus, standing between him and her little ponies. However, Twilight chose at that time to walk up to Celestia and nudged her with her hoof.

"...Princess," Twilight began with a raised eyebrow, "instead of telling Johnny that whole story, why didn't you just simply send him back to his own world?" Twilight asked her teacher, however was unable to elicit a response, "Princess," she nudged once again with her hoof.

"...The chaos from Johnny effected my judgement," she responded quickly, not taking her eyes off of Discord.

"Wait I thought you weren't effected by--"

"The chaos did not effect me!" Celestia yelled out, finally ripping her stare from Discord and unto Twilight, who quickly backed away from an angry Celestia. Celestia for the umpteenth time that day resisted the urge to sigh. there was no way she could admit to her faithful student that she had not thought of that obvious solution.

"Let's see here," Spike said to himself as he walked through Ponyville, with a quill and paper, "I completed almost all of my chores, all I have to do is clean the library and then I can hang out with Sweetie Belle and the others," he said happily as he approached the home he and Twilight have been living in for the past 2 years, "ah, home sweet ho-" he stopped his sentence short as he stared in shock at what was before him.

To say the library was a complete mess would have been an understatement. There was several holes littering the walls of the library, each scorched with burn marks. One of their largest windows was completely shattered beyond repair. Spike continuously gasped for air as he attempted to open the front door, however, as soon as he had touched it, it quickly fell to the floor, allowing him to see the apocalypse that was awaiting inside.

The bookshelves were completely destroyed, nothing salvageable. Scorched books laid everywhere, on the floor, the stairs, the desk, even atop the kitchen counter. Spike walked through the destruction, picking up whatever he saw salvageable, and quickly dropped them, seeing as how they were few in numbers. He fell to the floor, tears welling up in his eyes, as he stared blankly at the job that lay before him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" his voice rang out so loud that even Luna would have been impressed with.

Author's Note

Credit for the name of the spell goes to MisterShield, who helped me out with ideas for this chapter.

And now to wait another 2 months for the next chapter : )!!!

The End

Johnny couldn't help but feel just a little bit aggravated. Here was this strange demon llama known as...okay, so he couldn't remember the demon llama's name, but he was fairly certain it was something along the lines of Disco. Anyways, here was Disco, laughing maniacally as he started bragging about taking over Equesswhatever, while Celestia just stood there, yelling about something about 'getting it' or whatever. Honestly, he wasn't paying much attention, he was a little too busy trying to pry the pink and yellow donkey's off of him.

"Now, what am I going to do with you and that stupid hairstyle of your's Johnny?" so when that stupid, ugly, wannabe Star Trek villain insulted his beautiful hair, everything just snapped.

"Now listen here Emperor Kuzco!" he shouted out as he pointed his finger at the flying llama, "you can insult me, you can insult Celestia, but you don't insult the hair you ugly, stupid llama!" he proclaimed as he finally threw off Fluttershy and Pinkie, and leaped at Discord with a high kick.

"For the last time," Discord said as he brought his claw in front of him, "I am not a DEMON LLAMA!" he yelled out as he snapped his claws, freezing Johnny in midair, a tingling sensation coming over his body.

"Ooh mama!" he screamed in pain as he felt his bones shifting positions, bending in ways that was unnatural for a human body. As soon as it started, it quickly ended as he limply fell to the ground, "oh mama that hurt," he said to himself as he scratched his head with a claw...wait.

"HE'S SO CUTE!" Fluttershy gushed as she quickly ran up and grabbed a now tiny, furry version of Johnny into her hooves.

"He's like a little alligator!" Pinkie Pie cooed as she nuzzled Johnny's furry head.

"Wait I'm an alligator!?" Johnny questioned as he tried to look at himself, and noticed a flat tail, "wait, I'm not an alligator, I'm a rat!" he proclaimed, feeling a set of teeth protruding out of his mouth.

"Oh you're both wrong," Fluttershy scolded, "Johnny's clearly a beaver now," she said as she and Pinkie continued to cuddle the now beavertized Johnny Bravo.

"It's just one thing after another, isn't it?" Johnny lamented with a sigh, causing enormous laughter from the one who turned him into a beaver, "oh shut up you stupid goat thing," he yelled out, unable to shake a fist like he would have liked. Curse these stupid donkey's for cuddling with him, "why couldn't they be hot chicks, or better yet, hot sexy chicks!" he said to himself longingly as he imagined being surrounded by hot sexy chicks. He even drooled a tad bit.

"Oh, you want hot sexy chicks do you?" Discord asked with a chuckle, "well, let me give you hot sexy chicks," he said as he raised his paw, eliciting a smile from Johnny.

"Oh yeah, I'm liking where this is going," he said with a smile, as Discord snapped his fingers. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were then enveloped in a bright light, both screaming in shock as they felt their bodies changing form, into two female chickens in bikini's.

"There you go," Discord said with a smile, watching Johnny suffocating in the wings of Fluttershy and Pinkie, "two hot sexy chicks!" he laughed, causing Johnny to growl like a rabid dog.

"Mark my words, I'm gonna kick Disco right in the-"

"NUTS!" Apple Bloom yelled out in disgust, "ah told them no nuts in mah ice cream, and they still give me some," she said with a growl, eliciting a giggle from Diamond Tiara.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," she said as she placed a hoof around her shoulders, "do you want to switch cones?" she offered her mare friend. After school had ended, Diamond Tiara thought it would have been great if they went to the ice cream shop, before heading over to her house to do their homework, since she lived in town. And after that, Diamond Tiara would take her home. Apple Bloom would appreciate it so much, and invite her inside for some hot coffee. Sure, she didn't know how hot coffee was romantic, but if it strengthened their relationship than who was she to question it?

"Switch cones?" Apple Bloom asked back, "but ah already took a bite off o' mine, ya'll alright with that?" she asked with a tilt of her head, eliciting a silent squeal from Diamond Tiara, it was just too cute.

"Of course it's fine!" she replied as she switched her chocolate cone for Apple Bloom's vanilla with nuts, "anything to make you happy," she wiggled her eyebrows, causing Apple Bloom to blush, rubbing her hooves together nervously.

"Say, Diamond?" she prodded her marefriend, "I was wondering, would ya like to come over my house after we finish our homework?" she asked with the sweetest smile, causing Diamond Tiara to smile as well.

"I'd love to Apple Bloom," she said sweetly, grinning all the while. Everything was going according to plan.

"Discord you must stop this madness at once!" Celestia demanded as she stalked towards the Draconequess, "do you not see what harm your chaos is causing to the peaceful denizens of Equestria," she exclaimed, pointing at the deformed Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, followed by the crying Rarity that was being consoled by Applejack. Discord silently rubbed his chin as he studied the ponies, sighing to himself dejectedly.

"Oh Celestia, you're right," he said grimly, causing Celestia to smile for a brief moment, "I can do far better than this!" he said as he snapped his claws, causing the apple trees in the air to wither and rot.

"Mah livelihood!" Applejack shouted out as she watched her farm being destroyed, tears forming in her eyes, "now how am ah gonna support Rarity and our child?" she questioned, her hooves massaging her temples to rid herself of the incoming headache.

"B-but Applejack dear," Rarity began with a sniffle, "we don't have a child, neither of us are pregnant," she stated with a raised eyebrow.

"Neither of us are pregnant yet," Applejack said with a smirk, causing Rarity to gasp, her hooves covering her mouth in surprise.

"You mean?" she asked excitedly, earning a nod from Applejack.

"Let's put that horn o' yours to use milady," she said as she picked up Rarity and dropped her on her back, and galloped into the barn and promptly shut the door. Silence prevailed the land, as all stared wide eyed at the barn which housed the two mares.

"...I don't get it," Johnny broke the silence, his left eyebrow raised as he turned to Flutterchick, "what just happened?"

"Um, well," Fluttershy stuttered, trying to come up with an explanation, "well, um, you'll find out when you're older," she said simply, earning a grunt from Johnny.

"Nobody tells me anything," he whined as he crossed his arms with a pout.

"Ha, and you want me to stop? You have to admit Celestia, that was funny!" Discord said with a chuckle, taking glances at the barn.

"No, it's not," Celestia replied with a glare, "toying with other's emotions is despicable and you know better Discord!" she scolded, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Oh, well in that case, I'll stop all of my evil doing and become boring like you!" he mocked, transforming himself into Celestia with a bored expression, a book held in place by magic that read, "How To Be Boring For Dummies", causing Celestia to scowl, "you didn't honestly think you could convince me to stop did you?" he asked, transforming back to himself with a condescending scowl.

"No actually," she replied with a smirk, "I only needed to stall you," she finished, causing Discord to raise an eyebrow.

"Stall?" he questioned, when a sudden kick to the head lurched him forward and landing head first into the dirt.

"HUZZAH! WE HAVE COME TO DEFEND OUR PONIES!" Luna yelled out as she landed next to her sister, "AND WE HATH BROUGHT THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!" she yelled as she opened the chest, revealing the six elements of harmony.

"Good job Luna, now-"

"How are you going to use those if you're missing three of the elements?" Discord asked with a smirk, causing Celestia to blanch.

"Oh no, we forgot Rainbow Dash," Celestia facehoofed, feeling a migraine coming on, "how could we forget her?" she scolded herself, having trouble keeping her voice steady.

"FEAR NOT SISTER!" Luna yelled right in her ear, causing her to cringe, "FOR WE ART ALICORNS, AND WITH OUR COMBINED MIGHT WE SHALL VANQUISH DISCORD, FOREVER!" she yelled once more, causing Celestia's visible eye to twitch.

"Luna, indoor voices please," she quietly said to her sister, scowling at her as if she were a disobedient filly.

"BUT WE ART OUTSIDE DEAREST SISTER!" Luna replied loudly, increasing the pain of Celestia's already splitting migraine.

She's your sister Celestia, your adorable, clumsy, baby sister reminiscing about Luna's childhood always calmed her down, she really was adorable, and it made tolerating Luna's Canterlot Voice that much easier, especially when imagining filly Luna attempting to intimidate with it. But now was not the time of sweet memories, now was the time to handle Discord.

At that thought the world shook violently, large fissures formed all around them, tearing the very planet apart. The world was ending.

"Discord, what are you doing!?" Celestia demanded, flying high into the sky to avoid falling to her death. Discord looked at her with panic in his eyes, his eyes darting all around him.

"I-I don't know! I'm not doing this!" he replied as he snapped his fingers, attempting to stop the massive earthquake. It was futile. If anything the earthquake increased in magnitude, ponies screamed in terror as they ran for their lives, many falling into the voids that formed around them. It was then that he realized his mistake. Johnny had stayed for far too long, the chaos he brought with him was too much for the planet to handle.

"Why is it every planet I visit ends in a horrible explosion?" Johnny asked himself. He really needed to stop doing that.

Discord watched as Celestia and Luna desperately tried to save the lives of their citizens. They were however unable to hold all of the ponies in their magic. It was no good. Even if they could save their lives, without a planet they would all die in less than a second. He knew what he had to do. Using his magic, he turned Johnny back to normal.

"Whoa, what the-" then without wasting another second, promptly sent him back to where he belonged. And at that moment, Equestria was no more.

"Oh mama," Johnny whined as he sat up. He was back in his bedroom, resting on the floor, "what happened?" he asked himself as he got up. It was then that his memories came flooding back to him. Discord, Skittles, the purple narwal, and the world exploding.

"Oh man, I really screwed up this time," Johnny lamented as he sat on his bed, "if it weren't for me and my selfish desires, those ponies wouldn't have..." he trailed off as he thought of all his new friends, now gone forever because of his stupidity, "Oh man, if only I could-"

"Johnny!" he heard his momma call, "time for dinner!"

"Oh boy, dinner!" Johnny exclaimed happily as he quickly rushed downstairs, completely forgetting about Equestria as he did so.

Epilogue

Discord looked around himself, completely surrounded by darkness. It was his fault. Because of him, Equestria was no more. No more Pinkie Pie and her awesome parties. No more Rarijack, who he thought made a cute couple (and was looking forward to see what their kid would look like), no more Rainbow Dash with her pranks, no more Fluttershy who came by his statue to talk to him when he was feeling lonely. And no more Twilight Sparkle, whose many adventures entertained him, as he watched her stumble across the path of life, never giving up on herself or her friends.

"Are you happy, Discord?" he heard a faint whisper from behind. He turned around slowly, to meet the eyes of Equestria's ruler, Celestia. There was no anger, no sadness, or any other emotion he'd have thought that she would be feeling. All that was there was nothingness. As if her very soul was ripped from her body, nothing left but a lifeless shell.

"Celestia," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen," he replied sadly, and it was true. He had only wanted to have a little bit of fun. Celestia could only scoff at the pathetic response.

"You never think of the repercussions of your decisions, on how they harm others," she stated simply, her voice devoid of emotion, "this is what happens when you don't care for anypony but yourself, nothing but pain, nothing but sorrow, nothing but regret."

He nodded at her words, she was right. Because of his selfishness, everything was now gone. He couldn't pull off pranks, or make chocolate rain, or any of the other things he found fun. He had nothing.

"FEAR NOT DEAREST SISTER AND DISCORD!" Luna yelled out, scaring both parties out of their minds, neither noticed she was there, "FOR WE PREPARED JUST FOR THIS OCCASION!" she beamed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Luna, what do you mean you're prepared for this?" Celestia asked, hope leaking from her voice.

"Do tell, do tell!" Discord couldn't help but feel giddy himself, was there a chance he could fix this?

"WORRY NO LONGER FOR WE HATH BROUGHT THIS!" she whipped out a scroll from her hair, "TIS A TIME TRAVELING SPELL WE COULD USE TO FIX THIS!"

"Why do you have that in your hair?" Discord asked, earning a glare from the princess of the night.

"Who cares!?" Celestia scolded as she jabbed Discord in the ribs, "good job Luna, now we just need to figure out how to use this properly," she thought to herself. This was there one chance to fix everything. If they messed up, then Equestria had no future. The three god like creatures thought to themselves, each debating with themselves how best to fix things.

"First things first," Discord said, catching both the alicorns attention, "we need to ensure that Johnny NEVER goes to Equestria," both Celestia and Luna nodded to that, "clearly he has so much chaos stored in that body of his that he is far too dangerous," even for me he added mentally, no need to admit that to the sisters of course.

"So we need to use the spell to go to the past of Johnny's world, before you transport him," Celestia added on, getting nods from everyone involved. If they could succeed in that, then they would have nothing to worry about. But how would they ensure he never gets to Equestria?

"WE HATH AN IDEA!" Luna proclaimed, causing both Discord and Celestia to cringe, "OUR BARRIER MAGIC IS AMONGST THE STRONGEST OF ALL, EVEN GREATER THAN MINE SISTER! IF WE WERE TO USE THE SCROLL THAN WE COULD PUT A BARRIER AROUND JOHNNY AND MAKEST HIM IMMUNE TO DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL!" she explained, getting nods from both Celestia and Discord.

"Perfect!" Discord clapped his hands together happily, Celestia nodding in agreement.

"Then hurry, Luna, the fate of Equestria is in your hoofs," hearing this, Luna nodded.

"WE SHALL RETURN SHORTLY DEAREST SISTER!" Luna proclaimed with a salute, activating the scroll and teleporting into the past.

It was a beautiful spring day. Young Johnny, age four, was playing in a sandbox with his favorite toy, a blue narwal.

"Oh Mr. Narwal, I wuv you," Johhny said affectionately, cuddling his narwal happily. At that moment, a bright flash covered the area, blinding all who looked directly at it, except young Johnny, who had already taken to sunglasses. As soon as the flash died down, before him stood Princess Luna, in all of her glory.

"ART THOU JOHNNY BRAVO!?" she shouted, causing him to laugh.

"Pwetty blue narwal!" he said happily, causing her to roll her eyes. Using her magic, she detected that he was indeed Johnny, and smirked.

"HAVE AT YE!" she bellowed as she zapped him with her spell, shocking the poor child, "HUZZAH! WE HATH DONE IT!" she screamed victoriously, as the time spell wore off, transporting her back to her original timeline.

As she left, the young Johnny laid on the floor, and threw his toy narwal away from himself.

"Oh mama," he painfully said to himself, growing an unhealthy dislike for narwals ever since.

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Equestria. The birds were singing, the filly's were playing, and Rainbow Dash was napping. Of course none of this mattered to Twilight, who was currently reading about mythological creatures. She had just come across an interesting creature, one called a human. According to her book, they were closely related to monkeys and apes, but were far more intelligent, more so than even ponies, the dominant species of their world. They were expert builders and have often done what was believed to be impossible for them, such as flight. Twilight couldn't help but feel fascinated with them.

"Oh what I wouldn't give to meet a real life human," she said to herself as she finished the book and put it away, "to study their anatomy, their diet, and even have a intelligent conversation with it!" she couldn't help but become giddy at the idea. It was a good thing she would never get her wish.