Once upon a time, Rainbow Dash, the best pony, went over to Rarity, the worst pony's house. They got it on. It was really hot.
Then they went to Sugarcube Corner to ask Pinkie to make them some cupcakes. Pinkie said, "I have no run errands, k?" Rainbow and Rarity simultaneously say
"STOP BEING A NIGGERFAGGOT AIDS CANCER SWAGGOT AND MAKE US SOME CUPCAKES!!1!"
Rainbow and Rarity storm out of Sugarcube Corner and go to AJ's farm where they are met by Braeburn who is fucking trees. Braeburn runs up to them and asks them how they are. They like we is good let's fuck so they all fuck. All three of them find Scootaloo and open her head and eat her brains then her candy vag. It tasted like oranges and cotton candy. They all go to Twilight's library and they fuck up the organization of her books. Then out of nowhere, Celestia shows up and shouts,
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO TO SCOOTALOO YOU MUTHERFUCKING NIGGERFAGGIT AIDS CANCER SWAGGOT YOU'RE WORSE THAN HITLER YOU JEWISH HOLOCAUST SURVIVING WHORES!!!!!!!"
So the three of them were like "sorry" and then all four of them went out and got high on crystal meth. Later they all shot up marijuana with an marijuana needle, but fortunately Rarity overdosed after her fifth marijuana. "LOL," the three remaining ponies shouted. Then they all shot up an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. They heard sirens so they had one last orgy and then shot themselves.
They all woke up in the hospital-jail and got the warden in on an orgy and stole his keys and busted out. Then they used their phone call to call al-Qaeda and then they all hi-jacked some planes and flew out to New York and hit the WTC. Everyone died.
The next day, all four of the ponies went to Aurora, Colorado and found a movie theatre and were like BAM BAM BAM in the Batman screening, killing some people. Oh I forgot to mention they can travel in time. Then they had an orgy with the dead bodies.
They all decided to go to Japan and join the military so all of them bombed Pearl Harbor. Then they had sex with some Japanese pilots. So then with their magical powers of time-and-space travel they went to Nazi Germany and started gassing them Jews.
They decided that it wasn’t enough, so they traveled FURTHER back and went to Austria. It took a while to get acquainted with the temporal shift but they had to go through with it. So they all assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Then they had the biggest orgy yet with his and his wife’s dead body.
This time they were really about to do it. They went back to 36 AD and found Jesus buried in the ground under a rock. They had sex with him and then moved his body. They got him really high and then told him he was the son of God and that he had special powers. Then Jesus walked in a puddle from the rain the previous night and because he was so high he thought he was walking on water and told everyone he was the son of God and some sort of prophet. Unfortunately, people back in that time were really gullible and really stupid, so they believed him, and didn’t even check for THC!
Okay, the next stop was at the OJ Simpson trial. They robbed a bank, then bribed the jury to find him not guilty, and ignore all DNA traces. Then there was a massive orgy with the jury and the judge.
Now for some real fun. They traveled back to 1912 and using Celestia’s Alicorn powers, froze a chunk of water into a gigantic iceberg and moved it in front of this huge boat called the Titanic. Then there was a giant orgy in the boat with the passengers and the pilot and everyone else.
Next stop: Chernobyl. They walked around the power plant for a while and eventually found a panel with a bunch of switches and knobs. They had an orgy and accidentally one of the knobs, and the power plant exploded. Since they are cartoons, they don’t die.
Now we travel to Littleton, Colorado, to a high school called Columbine. They met up with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, and said,
“Hey, you two seem like a couple of losers. Come with us and we’ll show you how to get everyone to love you guys.”
The ponies promptly gave them both machine guns and a bomb. They were to plant the bomb in the cafeteria and shoot students and teachers as they ran out of the building. However, the explosive failed to detonate, so Eric, Dylan and the ponies just shot up people in the cafeteria.
THE END <3
