Friendship is Alien

by shiney103

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 8373

The tale of a fortunate soul thrust into a world of friendship, magic, and adventure. Follow the Adventures of Dominic as he struggles to come to terms with his new place in life, as well as the chaos that is day-to-day life in Equestria.

This is the tale of an unfortunate soul thrust into a world of friendship, magic, and adventure. This story follows the mishaps of the "human" Dominic as he attempts to adjust to the new world he's found himself in, and build a new life for himself within a society that's both familiar and alien, and the hijinks and chaos that occur to him and his new friends in their day-to-day lives.

My first attempt at a fic, lo and behold, a human in Equestria story!
Because it hasn't been done before!

Rating for violence and language.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-05 01:19:28 UTC

1: Friendship On Arrival

Somewhere, in a place very far away, and not relevant to the rest of the story, a master turned, enraged at his young apprentice. “You do not,” He said, his beard practically flowing with anger. “I repeat, do not ever just ‘let it go’ like that again. You have to disassemble your work with the utmost care. Letting that kind of energy loose can have any kind of effect, you could destroy lives, create storms of devastation, awaken slumbering gods!” Before him, the apprentice cowered, at a loss for words. “We will be returning to fundamentals! Until you can prove to me that you can do this job without endangering everything we stand for!”

The hero of our story, which is to say, no hero at all, lay on the grass on a bright and sunny day. It was nice, he thought. Where he had come from, there were very few times when one could stop, be still, and appreciate the "silence" that brought forth all the sounds that people always overlooked in their lives. Birds, chirping. Trees shifting in wind, rustling leaves. But it wasn't the sound that lead to a frown upon our his face. Dominic looked up at a sky that was almost too bright, filled with puffy white clouds that seemed too vibrant, curved and fluffy, almost like something out of Dr Seuss. What caused his distress was the feel, or lack thereof. He knew he was surrounded by grass, and could see trees in his left field of vision. But he didn't feel it, in fact, he felt a strange sort of numbness, and dizziness, but could not actually tell anything about the ground he was upon.

With an unusual amount of effort, he lifted his head up to see what was going on. Memories came back as the effort intensified his dizziness. Fear, then falling, and then a blank after that. Normally, he would have pushed harder to remember details, but he wasn't at his best right now. Considering that his arm was bent at an angle that didn't look good at all, and looking down at the lower part of his body, he saw a tree branch. Just as vibrant and unusual as the clouds above, jutting through the upper portion of his right leg, and an alarmingly large red puddle he was laying in. Now, Dominic considered himself a bright young lad, and considering his current blood loss, and severe trauma, he would later reflect on this thought, and be proud of it’s relative coherence.

“I have fallen into a bright and fluffy world, and am going to die by a tree stabbing me to death. Seriously, there has gotto be a meaning in that somewhere.” He let his head fall to the ground, listening to a sick sounding splash. “I suppose that’s not bad. Shock, because of no blood. So, no pain, right?” No one was able to answer his question, as he had simply asked it of himself, and he had already fallen unconscious. Fortunately for him, he had the amazing good fortune to land within the viewing distance of a certain canary-shaded pegasus with a pink mane.

Aforementioned Canary-pegasus wasn't quite sure what to do, to be honest. A strange thing had fallen, not only disrupting her plans to meet up with her friends later today, but had also unceremoniously thrown himself onto several large jars of jam that one of her friends had insisted she hold on to, for ‘The best surprise ever!’ Well, she was certainly surprised, and that feeling didn't alleviate as she approached the thing.

It looked sort of like some monkeys Fluttershy had seen once, but it was clearly something else. It was wrapped in several layers of clothing, some fluttershy could recognize, but others left her clueless. She snapped herself out of her current train of thought with a brief shake of her head. After all, the thing was very hurt and this was no time to be thinking like Rarity. Not only did it look like it had hit it’s head pretty hard, but it had a piece of wood running through one of it’s lower legs. And judging from the huge pool of jam it was laying in, its back would likely be full of glass. She gulped, even as she rushed to grab her first aid kit. She hated the sight of blood, but her strongest instinct, more powerful than her fear, was to help this creature pull through...

Dominic awoke slowly, which was odd. He was usually only groggy physically, his mind was always ready and sharp the moment he came to. But he was having issues processing what was going on. He had a headache. A bad one too, and he was thirsty. His back hurt really bad, and there was an unusual tightness in it. He tried to shift himself, wondering if he had wrapped himself in blankets. A short, small grunt, but no movement happened, but his back hurt. Moving was a no go.There was something wrong with his leg, too. It felt like it should be stinging a great deal,  but there was only a mild prickling sensation. Now why would his leg be feeling so strange? The image came to him, of the tree branch impaling him, sitting in a huge pool of his blood. He realized then that he wasn't in his home, his bed, or anywhere that he actually knew. He started to panic, but he got a hold of himself with some effort. Thoughts... He knew he wasn't thinking clearly, but panicking was bad. He knew that. There was a buzzing in his ears, and with some effort, he began paying attention to it.

It was voices! Females, or children, speaking. Immediately he tried to focus on the sound, trying to sort it out.

“Hurrf? Did it just bark at us?” He heard one rather incredulous sounding voice say.

“Ah doubt it, sugarcube, that don’t look like no dog Ah ever seen.” Another voice, this one with a country drawl. Where had he woken up?

Then another voice pitched in, and this one sounded far more bookish than the others. “Actually, it looks more like an ape, or monkey of some sort, look at it’s limbs. These here,” There was a brief pause. He tried to open his eyes. It worked, but everything was a blurry mess of color, impossible to sort out. He began blinking, and the picture slowly shifted into focus. “are hands, they use them to use proto-tools, such as twigs and the like. But these...”

The thing talking... It was, well, bright purple for the most part, and... Well, he had tried to come up with any way of explaining it that sounded less ridiculous, but there simply wasn't. He was staring at a bright purple horse, with a horn poking out from a darker purple and pink mane. A unicorn. Huh. And further beyond there were other brightly colored shapes moving slightly, but his focus wasn't out that far yet.

He was distracted from his attempt to focus when felt a small prodding in his uninjured leg. “These are wrong, they should look almost like its hands, but they’re just one, solid piece.”

The thing seemed to be rattling off points as if it had never seen a person before. His headache had a sudden burst of strength that made him wince as he tried to think through the idea that maybe they hadn't, as he had certainly never seen horses like this before.

“Uh, Twilight? Ah think you should step back from that thing.” Came the country voice again, as well as a rustling sound and wings flapping. A large blue shape beyond twilight shot up a few feet into the air. Dominic thought through the pain, and realized that odds were, it was another of these horse things. the shape was right, but with wings.

“Not right now Applejack, this is an entirely new species! I have to figure out how to classify it. Why would I step back? Fluttershy said it should be unconscious for another hour or so.” Came the purple horse’s voice as she came back into view. Names, they had names. That was important to Dominic, but he couldn't quite figure out how. Maybe he took a bump to the head, too.

“‘Cause, that thing is awake, and it’s staring right at us.” Came the first voice, and it seemed to be from the blue shape, which was indeed a pony with wings. The pale blue color a sharp contrast to a mane that was... Well, it was several different colors, done in clear-cut stripes. The purple one, Twilight, went stiff, and slowly turned her head, and looking at me. Yet another shade of purple, this time in huge, bright eyes met my own green-brown.

“...Oh.” She said, suddenly at a loss for words.

Dominic had to think fast. They seemed frightened of him, but he wasn't dead. In fact, he felt better (headache aside) Than he had when he fell. Communication was important, he had to be very clear and concise in expressing that he meant them no harm. He started trying to move, but other than some idly twitches, he couldn't. Slowly, he took a deep breath, and through a sudden spike of pain, expressed himself. “Hhrrg, orlf.” Around the pain, came the first completely coherent thoughts since his awakening. “Brilliant, simply brilliant Dominic, great job.”

2: Friendship is Communication

There was a long and intense silence that fell then, the kind where you can practically feel the awkwardness in the air. “Okaaay,” Twilight said in a slow and even tone. “It’s awake. This is potentially bad, very bad.” She said, still staring at Dominic. “Fluttershy, this is probably some kind of monkey, right? What’s the best way to handle those?” She asked, still as rigid and still as she could manage.

“Um, well, I’d make sure you weren't making eye contact. A lot of primates view that as a challenge.” I heard a new voice say. It was soft, and I don’t just mean in terms of volume, her tone, the voice itself sounded soft and fluffy. Dominic turned his head to find it’s source as Twilight let out a squeaking noise and averted her gaze. It was another horse, winged like the blue one, but yellow with a bright pink mane that covered one of her eyes.

By now, Dominic was wondering why he hadn't been able to put things into words, and fought past another burst of pain in his head. “Hmm. Words are hard, I must have hit my head. Brain damage would be bad. Then again, I’m probably hallucinating anyway.”  He began slowly easing himself around, glad that he was managing simple movements. He managed to get himself into a sitting position as he realized the yello- Fluttershy, was talking to him.

“-Mr. Monkey, we really don’t want to hurt you, but you've had a nasty fall, and you should probably take it easy. No one here wants to hurt you, and- Umm, I’m sure I could find a few bananas if you would please behave while you’re here.”

“Bananas, seriously? *Bananas?** They've got to be- No, they’re actually serious. Huh.”* Dominic couldn't help it. He started chuckling at the idea of him being a ‘big dumb monkey’ that they were trying to placate. Of course, laughing really hurt his back, so he stopped quickly at the sharp stinging he got in return for his mirth.

“Wait a minute...” Said the blue one that had been flapping it’s wings. Suddenly there was a blur, and it was suddenly right up on Dominic, huge eyes an interesting shade of red-pink that Dominic couldn't quite place were staring into his, and he felt a hoof tapping at his chest. "It's laughing at us!" That was when he had his second realization about these things.

They were tiny! Standing on all fours the thing would probably be hard-pressed to come up to his chest in height at it’s head. With a glance around the room at the others, he determined that was the average height. There was also an orange one with a golden mane. That one was actually wearing a Stetson, of all things. He knew it wasn't fair to make such an assumption, but made it was. Cowgirl-pony was the one with the country accent.

“Hey!” Came the blue one in front of him, shifting to block his view over some muted protests from Fluttershy. “I’m talking to you, buddy. Just what in Celestia’s name is so funny!” Dominic should have behaved. He should have put his hands up in a surrendering manner, or done something placating to the creature in front of him. Should have, but didn't. He gave a small grin, and suddenly, the blue one seemed distracted, breaking eye contact with him and looking down. As he’d later learn, it was disturbing to see canines (even small ones like his) in a mouth full of otherwise flat teeth.

After a moment of thought, he realized that he had a name for the blue one! It was the first name he heard, actually. He knew it was coming, so he braced himself through the small burst of pain, and pointed a finger, pressing it into the blue one’s torso just like it had done to him with her hoof. “You are, Sugarcube.” Now there were jaws dropping, and he was quite proud he managed to put words together this time. “Now, is this a good thing, or a bad one?”

"What were you thinking, Rainbow?!" Applejack chided the cyan pegasus. The scene had done remarkable little to change. the talking monkey seemed to be unconscious, with his back facing up as Fluttershy was quickly checking all the stitches, and closing a few wounds that had opened back up.

"I- I don't know!" she responded, now back on the ground, her cheeks red with embarrassment. "It just, well, talked to me, and it was touching me, and I guess I overreacted a bit."

"Ah'd say it's a bit more than a bit. The way you shrieked coulda knocked somepony out, let alone when you bucked him like that, did you forget he's injured?"

"I do not shriek." Applejack could have sworn that Rainbow was pouting, if she hadn't known better, that was. Rainbow did not pout.

"Sure ya don't, Sugarcube. But look at where hittin' that thing got ya." Applejack said, gesturing at the unfortunate mare. Applejack was sitting outside the window to keep Rainbow company after she had been forcefully ejected from the cottage by Fluttershy before the cyan mare even knew what was happening, without so much as an 'if you don't mind.'  Applejack didn't know where Fluttershy had been keeping moves like that hidden, but she had half a mind to invite her friend to the next rodeo.

For Dominic, his world had temporarily dissolved into a hissing, burning pain that spread across his back like an actual flame, the pain spreading to his other senses. His eyesight blurred as a dull roar flooded his ears as he let out a choking yell. (It was not a scream. Dominic did not scream.) When his senses began to return, he realized that he was on his stomach now, and the pain was a series of small flares across his back being aggravated by something that kept touching them. He heard Fluttershy's voice behind him, and was able to focus on the words more easily now. the pain in his head actually seemed to be subsiding. "I'm really sorry about that Mr. Monkey, Rainbow dash can be really, um, well, that is... I'm sure she didn't mean to tear some of your stitches." She trailed off, not knowing how to continue her sentence without being rude to somepony.

Dominic was deep in thought despite the needles of fire pricking his back, considering his current position. For the first time, he really thought about what was going on. Colorful, overly cutesy world, strange, but friendly technicolor creatures seeming to care for him, (Despite being kicked in the chest) brought him to one simple conclusion: He was hallucinating. And being that he was hallucinating, and he was aware of it, brought him to two further points.

Firstly: Being that he was aware of the hallucination, and it was not ending, this hallucination was not a figment of the dreaming mind, or any plain subconscious routine, as nothing had turned to chocolate when he focused on the miraculous substance as hard as he could.

Secondly: With the assumption that he wasn't in some sort of dream state, this hallucination had to be brought about by outside forces, such as drugs. Maybe he was in a hospital? In any case, there was no point being rude, if it was actually some poor hospital worker who was actually helping him, not some strange figment. And if it was a figment, then why be rude to his own mind?

"It's fine, really. I shouldn't have been provoking her." He said, with a slight wheeze. He had gotten his breath back for the most part, but getting hit like that hurt. He heard a slight gasp behind them, and assumed that his hallucination hadn't come to term with 'talking monkeys' yet.

"Excuse me, sir, it is sir, right?" Came the bookish voice, Twilight. He thought about turning his head, but decided against it. The less he moved, the better while someone was working on him. Before he could respond, the voice just rolled on. "If you don't mind me asking, you speak rather well for a, well, a primate. Where did you learn to speak?"

Dominic managed a fair reply, despite having to take a moment to steel himself. This figment's needlework could definitely use some work.  "Well, my parents, I suppose. though several years of school didn't hurt."

"School? Where are you from? We haven't exactly seen anythi- anypony like you around here." Twilight asked, again staring at the strange creature. It's size and posture reminded her of spike, or discord, with his long body.

"Okinawa, at least, that's the last place I remember." Dominic said, more than a little confused. "Did she just say any *pony*?" "And no offense, but I've never seen anything, that looks like anything here. I think I may actually be hallucinating, so forgive any strangeness. Everything is so bright and colorful, and there are no talking horses, let alone tiny, colorful ones."

"Ponies." The correction came Automatically from Twilight's lips, drawing a strange sound from the creature. "And, well, now that I think about it, I've never heard of an Oaken Awa." She said, before venturing the question that was really burning at her mind. "What exactly are you? I've never heard of anything like you, and even Fluttershy hasn't seen things like you, and she knows about all kinds of exotic monsters. Not to say you're a monster, or, umm..."

Dominic, however, was losing his patience with his hallucination. Trying to explain everything was a huge pain, but probably a decent exercise in organizing his thoughts, but calling him a monster? He decided that enough was enough, and to hell with the amateur practicing cross-stitching in his back.  He tried to will himself to ignore the pain in his back for a moment, rearranging himself off of the table into an awkward stand with a grunt, ignoring the repeated pleas from Fluttershy as he rose to his full height (A terribly [un]imposing 5'9'') and trying his best to loom above the unicorn.

"Monster? Now, seriously,-" Mr. Monkey? You need to lie back down, you're still bleeding. If, um, you don't mind, that is." "-I've had enough of this. Hallucinating or not, I'm hurt,-" "Mr. Monkey, you really need to lie down, you've lost a lot of blood, I need to stop the bleeding." "-at least, I think I am, and I don't have the patience to try and explain this to others,-" "Mr. Monkey, I need you to lie down." "-let alone some wild figment of my imagination that decided to blind me with all the colors of the rai-"

Then came the softest, most terrifying shout that Dominic had heard to date, the sound sending shivers up his spine. "Mr. Monkey, turn around, and lie down before you hurt yourself!" Dominic turned slowly, coming face to face with the yellow mare. There was something in her eyes that held him captive.

Back home, he had been considered an unfair player in staring contests, something about the contest of wills, locking eyes with another did something strange to him. when it happened, he would feel a tight band of pressure around his forehead, and people almost always blinked or faltered, claiming his eyes had suddenly gone 'wild' or something like that. Now he knew how that must have felt, save that he felt more like a deer, paralyzed in the headlights. He was tired, he was woozy, and for all he knew, he was lost inside his own head. He couldn't muster his own stare to fight back, this creature's stare was affecting him in ways no one had managed to back home.

He needed to look away, he was dizzy, his pulse was rising, and he couldn't break eye contact with those beautiful, yet horrifying green-blue orbs. He heard her voice, but couldn't make out the words past a ringing that was filling his head. Then he found himself slowly moving himself to lie back down, with the mare craning her neck to maintain the stare until he was once more on his stomach.

"There, now stay put until I finish." Fluttershy said, and like that, a sense of immense weight and pressure that he hadn't even felt had rushed away from Dominic, leaving him feeling drained. With a long sigh, and another wince as Fluttershy turned back to her needlework. Dominic wasn't quite sure what to make of this place, these 'people,' his injuries, and that weird mind-trick stare that Fluttershy had put on him. "This really isn't a hallucination, isn't it?" He asked, to no one in particular, but the universe as a whole.

His only response was a quietly muttered "Oh horsefeathers." from Fluttershy and another sharp pain as one of the threads broke in his back.

3: Friendship is Common Ground

"There you go, Mr. Monkey, that should do it. But you can't go and do anything strenuous, or you'll tear them open again." Said a soft, but authoritative voice behind Dominic. Wasn't she supposed to be shy? she was earlier, and it was even in her name!

"Please, my name is Dominic." He said, slowly easing himself up to a sitting position. After all the sharp jabs and pulls of needlework, the little pulls as he moved didn't seem so bad. He stopped then, looking around the place again. The blue and orange ones were gone, leaving just the bookworm, Twilight, and Fluttershy. He took a deep breath, and started a mental exercise he learned a few years back, during a more stressful time in his life.

In his mind, he sat before a small desk, with a blank sheet of paper in front of him. Used to be he actually had to sit there and stare at a piece of paper physically, but with practice, he learned he could do it all in his head. The paper was a focus, a board for his thoughts to arrange themselves on when he had no way to think through a situation clearly. He relaxed and allowed words to appear on the paper as he made his thoughts known to himself, one at a time.

This place is strange. Try to take nothing for granted.

This place is not home, and from the looks of it, anywhere on Earth.

This place could be a hallucination.

Treating it like it's all a crazy dream will only hurt me if it's not.

I need to get home.

To get home, I need to interact, I need to figure out where I am, and how that relates to home.

These people have gone out of their way to help me already.

With that last thought, he was snapped out of his mental image he created, and looked at Fluttershy. She was looking at him curiously, why was that? He'd probably completely ignored her while she was saying something, caught up in his thought exercise. "I- I'm sorry." He said, shaking his head slightly. "This is a lot to take in, and I might have let my attention slip there. What were you saying Fluttershy? It is Fluttershy, right?"

The mare blushed, not meeting his eyes as he focused back on her. "Oh, it was nothing Mr. Dominic, I was just saying, that is, I mean, eep." Apparently now that he was no longer a strange creature, her namesake got the better of her. Dominic glanced away, uncomfortable with how uncomfortable he seemed to be making her. "Huh, I think there's a joke in that somewhere."

After another moment, in which there was an odd scratching sound, he decided to break the near-silence. "Thanks for saving me. I didn't expect to be alive, I was awake when I fell, I was in so much blood." Fluttershy made a peeping noise, and then cleared her throat. "Well, actually, you fell onto several jars of raspberry jam a friend of mine was leaving for me.. You really only got a lot of cuts in your back, some bruising, and the stick in your leg."

"I was going to ask about that." He said, thankful to get away from the fact that he had been assaulted by raspberry jam, and had been about to be overly melodramatic to his savior. He took a moment to glance down at the hole in his slacks. There was a line of stitches there too, but something looked off about it. It hurt, but it was a dull ache, not like the burning in his back.

"Oh yes, you seem very lucky, Mr. Dominic, I'm not an expert on- Well, it didn't seem to hit anything important, you should just take it easy for a while." Dominic frowned for two reasons. The first, was that he was indeed very lucky. He wasn't an expert either, but he remembered something about having an important artery there. Then there was the fact that it didn't tear him up too badly, artery aside. The second reason, was that Fluttershy kept calling him that.

"Please, just Dominic, I'm not a big stickler with formality most of the time, and this sure isn't the place for it." He said, and realized that the other one- That Twilight was being too quiet. A quick glance over revealed why.

Twilight was surrounded by several sheets of parchment, a quill scribbling across the rolls of primitive paper so quickly that he thought the instrument was going to ignite the stuff, pausing only long enough to dip into an ink bottle that was being held aloft by a strange purple glow. A glow that was also on her horn. "When you said you had found a strange creature, Fluttershy, I only brought enough notes for basic biological categorization! I don't have nearly enough material for first contact with an intelligent species! I'm going to have to go back to the library and fetch more materials. And Spike, I have to have Spike. I'll be right back, don't move, don't talk while I'm gone, this all has to be recorded!" She said, starting off in a fairly normal tone, but by the end of it, her words were almost running together, and with a flash of purple light, she was gone.

Telekinesis. Teleportation too, from the looks of it. Dominic was now slightly less than happy about what he had managed to get himself into. "Your friend, she's... a little odd." He said, hoping he wouldn't be reprimanded for the 'no-talking' rule.

"Oh, yes. Twilight can be a little... Intense, with her studies, but please don't let that get to you, she's really a very nice mare." Fluttershy said, and Dominic sighed in relief. Then jerked slightly, sitting upright, a look of fear in his eyes.

"First contact? Oh, good lord. You've got to get me out of here, I can't be dissected!" He said, his mind rushing through dozens of bad sci-fi stories and videos he had gone through back home. If there was even a grain of truth in them, he was doomed. He began shifting off of the table he was on, intending to book it out the door

"Dominic," That voice again, and he felt the chill in his back, and decided to himself that he was not going to turn around. "You need to settle back down. You're not going to be dissected, why would you think that?" The voice had returned to normal, and Dominic forced himself to relax, drawing several deep breaths.

"Ohh, no reason, no reason at all." He said, feeling a little dizzy from his almost-attempted escape, his heart was pounding, and he was thirsty. Really thirsty. "Could I..." He trailed off, remembering the first point in his paper. Take nothing for granted, but still, they spoke English, somehow. They have stitches, houses, tables, windows- That's where the other two were! The cyan one and Applejack were staring in from a window. Anyway, no reason not to assume that they wouldn't drink water like anyone else. "Could I have something to drink please? I'm very parched."

"Oh, of course, just a moment, please." With that, Fluttershy had disappeared into another room, and a moment later, came back with a glass of water, and an oddity that shook Dominic to his core, and left him with a question that would haunt him on many sleepless nights. "How is she holding that glass with her hoof?!" But then there was water in his hands, and basic instinct won out over shock, and he quickly began gulping it down.

Everywhere you went, water tasted different. Different metals in the pipes, different chemicals they added to make it 'clean' or 'healthier.' Here, the water tasted strange. The best quality that could be put to it was "light." It had almost no trace of flavor, barely even alerting the tongue that there was a taste to go with the cool sensation. Dominic wasn't sure if he liked it, but at least it wasn't bad. Dominic was about to murmur a 'thank you' to the mare, when a crack of sound shook the room. It was like a very muted strike of lightning without the boom of thunder that followed it, but in place of the thunder, there was a flash of purple light, followed by Twilight, and another strange creature.

Dominic focused on it right away, trying to get more details. This thing, was definitely not a horse. It, like all the others had a round head, large eyes, and vibrant colors, but there the similarities stopped. It was tiny, even compared to the others, and it seemed reptilian. It had scales like a snake, and an underbelly that reminded him of an alligator that went all the way up to his jaw. Then it spoke, and even for being small, it sounded male. It sounded young, too. "Woah, Fluttershy, I've never seen an animal like that before, where'd you find it? The Everfree?"

Twilight, was buried underneath the massive pile of books and writing apparatus that had come along with her, and her voice came out of the stack with a muted quality. "Books don't work like that, do they?" "Spike, that's Dominic, and it's our first contact with a new species." The tone sounded like a lecturing school teacher, and somehow, the stack began to shift, like one great amoeba of paper, inching it's way towards him.

Spike suddenly seemed to realize that Dominic had been staring at him since the animal comment, and a darker shade appeared across the purple scales. "This thing is blushing through scales. I'm about ready to give up on this 'making sense' strategy." He held out his arm, and he saw that it ended in a clawed 'hand' of sorts, with three digits. "Uh, heh, sorry about that, I'm Spike." He said, and Dominic stared at the clawed hand for a moment. It was irrational to assume that a reptile would have a similar gesture, but it was also completely crazy to assume that they could blush through scales, or be colored purple and green, or be in a world with talking flying magical technicolor-

He cut off that train of thought, taking a deep breath as he extended his hand, grasping the small claw (Really, more of enveloping it) and giving a gentle shake. "I'm Dominic, and trust me, you're not the only one weirded out."

Their brief moment of normalcy was quickly overrun by twilight and her papyrus based terror that began to sort itself out in a storm of purple light. Twilight stood at the heart of it all, an odd look in her eyes. "Now we can record every detail of this ordeal!" She said, one preposterously large book floating in front of her an opening as the rest of the items began to settle in a ring around us. Fluttershy began backing away slowly at that point, at Dominic felt more than a little uneasy. It was probably time to begin steering the conversation. "What do you want to know?"

Twilight shook her head, looking at him, but her eyes didn't quite seem to focus on him, despite his attempts to make eye contact. "Everything! Biology, psychology, history, intent, culture, everything you know about everything!" She said, the pacing of her speech becoming faster and faster as she went on. Dominic folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. "Nope."

You could almost hear a creaking sound as Twilight's jaw tried to drop lower than it's intended maximum. "WHAT?" she half questioned, half screamed. "You don't understand, an event like this hasn't happened in millennia, I absolutely have to take down everything I can!" Dominic held out his hands, and began talking. His voice was suddenly smoother than it had been before, and noticeably deeper. He also finally snagging her gaze as he began to speak.

"Let me paint a picture for you, Miss Twilight." He began, using smooth gestures to accompany his words. "I'm somewhere I didn't even know existed, with... beings, that I know nothing about. I'm lost, confused, and I'm hurt. I'm hungry, and from the looks of things, all I have are the clothes on my back-" He paused at that, realizing something.

"You have my shirt and jacket, right Miss Fluttershy?"  He got a nod in return, but turned back to find Twilight making an almost choking sound. "-And the knowledge in my head.  Now I want to get home. So how does this sound?" He let his hands dropped, and leaned in closer, letting his volume drop to a near whisper. Not enough that she had to lean in, but enough to be sure she was paying attention.

"A trade. You ask me something about me, you have to answer the same question for your kind first. And the same for me. One question at a time. And then, if you can talk to your leaders without getting me trapped in some laboratory, so I can see about getting home, I'll tell you everything. Everything I know, or can think of." He'd fallen into old habits, but manipulating people was a useful skill. and besides, he wasn't conning Twilight, he was being honest about it all.

Immediately, there was a hoof extended to him. "Deal." She said quickly, grinning. "I'm the personal student of Princess Celestia. I can have a letter sent to her regarding your situation tonight." Dominic pondered the significance of the term 'princess,' given how it was an empty title in his home. But the mare seemed convinced it was something worthwhile, and so for now, it was all he had to go on. It was time to trade.

He reached out his hand, and tried to grasp at the hoof. That just didn't work out right, and Twilight made an odd sound as she hopped backwards. "What?" He asked, when spike started waving, causing him to look down. "Like this, big guy." He said, forming a fist and making a subtle forward motion. "Just bump it."

"Oh. Well, that was certainly an awkward way to start off."

The next day, Dominic was peering out of the window. "This idea is bad, and you should feel bad." He muttered, old habits causing him to speak before thinking.

"What? Why?! I may be a bit tired from earlier but we can get this done! Fluttershy said you should be fine to do some simple thing like this, and it's not even like you're doing any of the work. You should know after our talk that this isn't dangerous for you. Plus, you should realize that this is pretty much inevitable, given the current situation." The mare was trying her best to give a lecture while breathing heavily from exertion, the beginnings of sweat giving a mild sheen to her lavender coat.

Okay, hold on. It's probably important to do a little backtracking here before anypony gets the wrong idea. The previous evening, the two had gone back and forth for nearly the entire night with their question and answer agreement. As the hours dwindled on, Fluttershy excused herself to sleep, and Spike decided on returning to the library on foot. "Or is it on claw? Eh, time to figure it out later."

Come the morning proper, Twilight had awoken with a start, and in her haste to fulfill her part of the deal, had immediately teleported her supplies back to her library. Of course, after teleporting from the cottage to the library, then back with all the supplies, and a night with next to no sleep, the exertion had proved a bit much for her. And now, tired, sweaty, and out of breath, there was no way she was going to try teleporting herself and an alien with a mostly unknown physiology across the same distance.

Now the two were getting ready to make their way into Ponyville proper, and they had to hoof it.So there she was, about to escort an alien, a bipedal, towering, easy-to-spot-from-a-mile-off Alien with a capital 'A' to the library without being spotted.

"...And Spike is my connection to the Princess. And you yourself said you hated being cooped up!" He realized he hadn't been listening to Twilight, and diverted his attention back to the conversation. She was being the voice of reason here, and he hated having to listen when other people were right. He could use a nap, but the long night had given him a good idea of what sort of place he was in, though most of it was still hard to believe.

"And you're telling me she moves the sun? Actually moves the *sun** around the world?"*

"Yes, how simply do I have to describe it?! Her sister Luna controls the moon in the same way!"

"Omnivorous, then?"

"Well, yes... You know, I kind of expected a less... Accepting reaction?"

"Oh, no, we know a few other species that can eat meat and are civilized. Heck, in ancient times, ponies were omnivorous in harsh regions."

"So how is it that you learned to speak Equestrian, if you don't have ponies like us from your home?"

"I'm not, I'm speaking my language, which was my next question. I'm even taking a guess here from your chicken scratch that we have the same alphabet."

"Hey!"

"Your home would *have** to be a different planet then! So it's simple, you're an Alien that got displaced by magic somehow!"*

"...what do you mean, no magic? Of *course** you have magic, if you didn't have magic, there'd be nothing to keep you alive!*

"So because of their 'innate magic' pegasi can fly, the earth ponies are the only ones who can grow plants and are tough as nails, and unicorns can do actual magic? Like this stuff?"

Leave that alone or you'll spill the ink! Yes, that's basically how it works, and then there are Alicorns, they're..."

With an effort, Dominic shook himself out of his memories. there would be plenty of time to go over the information later. "Okay, let's go escort the big weird never-before-seen creature to your home, and then call an all-powerful being and ask them to help me do an absolutely impossible thing that I just did yesterday. This is going to be just fine, really."

4: Friendship is Regal

Dominic didn't believe it. Somehow, inexplicably, Twilight had proven correct. As they went into the town, there wasn't a soul in sight, which wasn't to say that it wasn't awkward. No, anything but that. Every building there was strange, in the brightly colorful style that seemed to be the given rule for this place. Moreover, they were all... Fanciful. Like a fairy tale brought to life. He even saw one building that looked like a house based off of a merry-go-round, and there was worse as they went on. Eventually, Dominic found himself in front of a tree house. Not a house built in the branches of a tree, but doors and windows carved into the tree, which was still green with life somehow.

"You live in a tree." Dominic said, still trying to make sure that he was seeing things as they actually were.

"You have a problem with that?" Twilight asked, throwing open the door and heading in. She let out a breath she'd been holding, unable to believe her luck in actually getting here without being spotted.

"No, not at all. I'm just a little surprised, but the doors are a bit small." Dominic said as he ducked to get in, shutting the door behind him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as rude, I'm still trying to sort all this weirdness out."

Twilight somehow shrugged, without falling over. "Don't worry about it, I would have been freaking out a lot worse if it was me."

Somehow, Dominic could imagine that pretty clearly. Rather than comment on that mental image, he changed the subject. "So, here we are. What's next?"

Twilight's horn glowed again, a quill floating past Dominic, causing him to jump slightly. "I write a letter, and as soon as the Princess sees it, I'm sure she'll see to this situation."

And so Dominic spent what felt like a a lot longer than it actually way, getting introduced to a strangely vocal owl as Twilight wrote away at her letter.  "Spike!" Dominic rubbed his head from having hit his head. He seriously needed to unwind, this whole scenario was crazy...

He came back into the main room in time to see the dragon puffing green fire that seemed to incinerate the roll of parchment twilight had handed him. "And now, we wait."

Fortunately, they didn't have to wait overly long. There was a slam as the door crashed open, and another voice declared. "Don't worry, Twilight! I've been researching how to beat these things!" Just then, Dominic had time to ponder why his side hurt, and why he seemed to be floating through the room. Then there was a wall, and Dominic realized that he wasn't floating, he had been flying into a wall.

"Pinkie! What in Equestria are you doing?! Why did you roll a barrel into my house?!" Dominic had re-acquainted himself with gravity, and with the floor comforting his bruised side, he was able to observe what had happened. A pink mare, with a pinker mane that could only be described as 'poofy' stood in the doorway. Along with her, she had several barrels, and a large sledgehammer. And was she wearing... "Overalls? With a red shirt?" He was going to have to talk to her, when the room stopped spinning, and his lungs found themselves again.

"I saw that weird monkey thing following you through town, and dive into the house behind you! I ran off to check my sources, and by the time I got back, I heard you screaming for spike, when I saw the fire, I thought he'd gotten you for sure! You're not hurt, are you?" She said, practically bouncing around the purple mare. No, wait, not practically, literally bouncing as she rambled on.

"Pinkie! Settle down! This is Dominic, and he's a guest, from really far away, and he's injured!" She said, turning to start seeing to Dominic, but somehow, Pinkie was already over there.

Dominic thought himself doing rather well, being confronted by this singularity of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and managed not to scream, or even whimper as the thing appeared in front of him. "Who are you? Twilight said Dominic, but that doesn't tell me anything! Where are you from? Are those clothes? Rarity loves clothes! Why are you a strange monkey thing? Are there more of you? Where do you come from? Why are you just laying there? Ohmygosh, do you like par-" The questions were all blurring together, as Twilight began bodily dragging Pinkie backwards.

"Not right now, Pinkie, he's injured, we need to make sure that he's all-" The mare was trying to explain, but she was cut off by another flash of energy. It was a swirling blend of pastel colors on the cooler end of the spectrum filled with miniscule motes of light like stars, or minerals sparkling in sunlight. The colors seemed to start from no one direction in paticular, existing only in the peripherals of their vision. It spread in every direction swiftly, entering their proper vision as it enveloped them. Then with a flash of white light, all three were gone.

To Dominic, he recalled the situation as similar to being under anesthesia. It was a sense that a great deal of time has passed, with no recollection of it. He found himself in a large room, several points sinking in at once.

The room was made of white stone, it was decidedly lacking in windows, lit by several braziers up against the wall casting light to see the occupants. He was there, with Twilight, and 'Pinkie' as well as one other. This one got his attention for two reasons. Firstly, it was distinctly different from all the others, it's build slimmer, and standing much taller, taller than him even. It had a shimmering mane that seemed rainbow hued in pastel colors, as well as being adorned with both wings, and a horn.

The other reason it demanded attention was because it was standing in between him and the only door in the room, with a rather unpleasant looking expression on its face as it looked at him. Then, something hit him like a ton of bricks.

This... Thing, it evoked an emotional response in him. Dominic considered himself a very skilled individual at controlling his feelings, with little to no trouble in managing his emotions back home, but he felt nearly overcome staring at this thing.  It made him angry. He felt his fists clenched, his pulse racing, and... His knees shaking? He wasn't just angry, he was terrified, and awed by this thing. He barely pulled himself together enough to pay attention when it began to speak.

"I know of your kind," It said, and Dominic was caught off guard again. It's voice sounded motherly. Stern, almost disappointed, but motherly, and it most certainly sounded female. "Do not try to lie here, I will know what harm you are bringing unto my realm and my subjects!" She didn't raise her voice, but the force in her command was clear. Flabbergasted, Dominic pulled his anger around him to steady his knees, and make sure his voice didn't quake. "What?! What harm I bring?!"

Okay, maybe this was too far, I hadn't meant to sound that angry. "Lady, I've just been abducted by I-don't-know-what, smashed into someone's pie-making supplies, in a world filled with strange, alien creatures that apparently speak my language, and you just drag me off here to demand what harm I'M planning?"

Mouth, what are you doing?  "I got news for you, Lady, No one's been anything but helpful, and I don't mean to harm anyone, so you can go ahead and stop looking at me like I'm some stain on your little hoof there."

MOUTH STOP.

dominic blinked then, finally seeming to get the message from his panicking brain. He took a step back, his face caught between emotions, noticing how Twilight seemed to be trying not to faint, and Pinkie's Jaw was on the floor. "Right... My apologies, Ma'am, apparently, I'm just a liiiittle more stressed out than I thought I was." He said, but when he looked back to the bigger one, she was smiling. Smiling, after that outburst? Where had the glare gone? Why couldn't he keep up with these people and their flittering emotions?!

She shook her head, and began to speak, and Dominic felt himself relaxing, his fear-anger complex seeming to slide to the back of his mind. "I have heard tales of your kind, so I had to goad you to speak here, in the vicinity of a truth spell to know whether you were a problem or not."

Twilight was still frozen in a state of shock, but Pinkie was already processing this. "Wait, a truth spell? So that means I can't say ---- -'- - -------?" She said, the last words silent, through her mouth moved. Smiling, she began to speak more and more, though no words came out, a little disturbing to look at, as distracting as it was.

Dominic looked back to the Regal pony as she spoke again, her smile was still there, but he'd say she looked almost sad, if he was judging the expression right. "I am Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria. And you, are our first Guest in a very, very long time. Welcome to Equestria."

Oh.