First, we need some mood music appropriate for the enormity of this situation.
Youtube Video
check out this bizarre
rapping style used by me, the BIG
It was a hot. Sweaty as sweaty balls ripe with the sweat of a fat, sweaty man who had sweaty balls. There was a long line of horses and horsefuckers stretching around the block, and among them stood a pegapone (winged pony) with a pone (cornmeal based cake) in his mouth. The pegapone had a mark on his ass that resembled some sort of ugly face with puckered lips, demonstrating his special talent, sucking things into his mouth. Things like chodes and also dicks and scrotums.
"I jess wann joo to know dat I don't ghev no fuk," slurred the pegapone pornographer, who was named Portalz0r, though no one loved him.
"I know. I fucking know. EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DON'T WE ALL FUCKING KNOW! YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING TELLING EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING LINE FOR THE PAST FUCKING EIGHT FUCKING FUCK MONTHS FUCKING STUPID AS SHIT FUCKING COCKSUCKER!" screamed another of the horses, this one had some sort of japoniase fightin' sticks on his ass, but he's recently changed his name to Chuckie.
Somehow, he believed that the name change would protect him from prosecution for the many sex crimes he had commited against children, and minors, and little girls, and choirboys, and small children and everything else that couldn't legally consent due to age regulations.
They had been standing around for months, being driven to homo-lust by the scent of sweaty balls in the sweaty balls heat of the sweaty balls summer of England, ever since Knighty had started extending offers to suck his chode.
drop top notch player hating won't stop (uhh)
This instant rappers too persistent
"I hear he's got a fat chode," said one of the other horsefucker ponyfags in line. Zel slid his lips over his tongue, because anatomy is confusing and fuck it I ain't wasting any time on the delete key.
"I'M INCLUDED, TOO!" screamed a pony in a crude Kurt Cobain cosplay as he bounced through the air.
From his position on a slightly raised dais, Blueshift was better than anyone. Also he had his granpappies shotgun. Also, he raised both barrels, pegging Regidar out of the sky with a single shot. Fanon and Canon (which is what he had named the barrels of his shotgun) unleashed hot fire. Bits of blood and bone scattered over the crowd, slightly cooling the waiting ponies.
P0rtalzor eagerly sucked the severed dick of Regidar out of the air as it flip-flop-flapped through the air.
"Woo! That's good scrotum, although I don't give a fuck!" howled Portalz0r as he eagerly devoured the dick before it could settle upon the soil, "Did I tell you how much I don't give a fuck?"
"EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" screamed Chuckie, because he was a devout and proper Christian. He always talked about Jesus because of how much he loved Jesus.
At this moment, Jesus appeared and Chuckward ran off to fellate him like a good little Jesus bitch.
"Oooooh, tell me again about how they whipped you and released your blood to free this wretched world," moaned Chuckwardiecheese as Jesus stroked his mane or hair or whatever I'm writing about. Fuck.
Pardon my French but ah, sometimes I get kinda
peeved at these, weak MC's (don't stop)
with the supreme baller like,
lyrics I call 'em like I see 'em G
Anyway, so Portalz0r finally reached the front of the line, bitching all along the way that he could make a better line.
"Really? Well, I've been looking to make a better line," asked a very bearded pone who's name you DontWannaKnow.
"NOOOOOO!" wailed Portalz0r, "I don't have to make a better line, I just have to criticize this line and make some cosmetic changes to it, like maybe including a "preview line" function."
"But we can preview the line now," said some fucker, whatever, I'm tired of adding new fucking names.
"But I did it first!"
"Actually, 99.9999% of the internet did it first, including Blogger. You covered an obvious hole, but what about actually doing something?"
"Noooo! I've got to suck Knighty's chode before I can code. I hear his colon cancer makes his spunk taste like magic and rainbows."
"You know, cancer isn't actually funny. It is something you derive humor from despite the situation, on its own saying cancer is just a bummer," pointed out a morally correct gentleman of the homosexual persuasion.
"NOOOOO! I don't give a fuck!" Portalz0r reiterated, then sucked up some jizz that had fallen on the ground. It was Knighty's jizz, and it tasted like sunshine, smiles and rainbows. Sunshine is worse than magic, so he needed to get some directly from the source.
But before Portalz0r could get some of that hot, fresh chode cream he ran into a group of idiots. Well, everyone other than me is an idiot, obvs, but they were extra idiot.
What's beef? (What's beef?) Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep
(Don't sleep)
Beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets (ain't safe)
"We were unjustly banned!" "Not a troll group!" "We;re not shits!" shouted the fagafapperpones, but they'd already gotten more attention then they deserved so they were crushed by the wrinkly, enormously fat hooves of Texxy's fat, old, stupid momma. Texxy rode on her back, connected to her by his dick which was lodged firm and tight into dat ass. HMMMMMMMM.
He was fucking her ass because that was the only orifice on her that was still virginal because the smell of her old, wrinkly, unwiped asshole had killed everyone else who'd tried to penetrate it. Her dad dying while he attempted to molest her had given her daddy issues, hence her promiscuity and need for casual sex until her vagina was wide enough to suck entire grown men into.
Texxy's momma's whore mouth dropped out wide enough to eat an epicdonus as imagined by some faget who thinks epic is a reference to dick width (as in a fat chode) and not a culturally defining poem.
"Go forth and suck that chode!" shouted Texxy, pulling on his momma's stretch marks which were defined as crags and valleys. The shifting of her immense, obese, old, fat, stupid, ugly horse flesh caused powdered cheese to flow out like a river and released an odor of fermenting cheetoes and fruit roll ups.
Portalz0r saw his opportunity at last and lunged toward Knighty's momentarily open scrotum.
He was immediately stabbed in the eye by some sort of dangle-wangling appendage.
"Ow, what the fuck, man!" he whined as his left eyeball popped out of it's socket and rolled along the ground.
"I said suck my chode. Why are you trying to suck my scrotum?"
"dey da same ting, ain't they?" slurred Portalz0r, no longer certain which accent he was supposed to fucking have.
"No, that's my nuts. Ain't no one needs you on their fucking nuts, if it ain't your lips on my dick, I ain't wanna hear shit about it," replied Knighty, gesturing to his 14 inch cock that hung over two peasized testicles.
"Oh, fuck, wow man, I should have opened a thesaurus," moaned Portalz0r as he began to suck the fat chode of life.
What make this shit real bad is I was having fun
The chode spasmed in his mouth, and Knighty's mighty, whitey load was discharged. Portalz0r attempted to suck it down, because that was literally the only thing he could think to do, but he was inadequate even at that. The sudden rush of Knighty sperm tore through the back of his neck and his actual back like bullets.
Holes were torn through him and left gaping, like holes in a collection of selectable banners that was no longer relevant. For an instant, grey and white shined before vanishing beneath red jello and also blood.
Portalz0r liked to eat jello.
It had sugar in it.
He also liked to watch Ben10 and shipped Ben and Gwyynniferr.
Then everyone died, and FelixDawn was best pony.
