Chapters The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Once Upon a time in Equestria... no not there. More over there. ... a litttle more. Yes, that's right. Right across from Sweet Apple Acres. Darned camera. Ahem, anyway.
Once upon a time in Equestria, across from Sweet Apple Acres, there stood another farm. Unlike Sweet Apple Acres, and it's, well, acres of apple trees, this one had gently rolling hills, and wooden frames holding up a wide variety of very special grapes. This was, in fact, a vineyard, that provided quite a lot of the local wines. Its name was the Grapevine Hills Vineyard and Winery. It was well known. Well known enough to have attracted rich ponies from Canterlot to visit its grounds, and sample its wares... And leave behind one of their own, struck by the arrows of love, much to the dismay of her family, but you've already read that bit.
While it is well known that the Apple family dabbled in making grape juice for the general consumption of ponies, their cousins, the Grapes family were very serious in the care and selection of their crop for the purpose of Wine making. Well most of their cousins, at least. Concord Grapes seemed intent upon cornering the grape juice, jelly and jam market, single-hoofedly. However, we're concentrating on Grapevine Hills, its wide variety of wine grapes, and the family that runs it... More specifically the daughter of the family that runs it.
It was the beginning of Summerstart, that our story truly begins. It's a typical day at the vineyard, with the usual farm life early start. Up with the sun, quick shower, breakfast, then out to tend to the vines. Admittedly, Champagne Diamond-Grapes (called "Cham" to avoid confusion) had a slightly easier time of it, than her daughter Sour Grapes, or her husband, Champagne Grapes (Who went by the nickname "Champ").
"Looks like it's about that time again," Champ said with a satisfied smile at the harvest, this year. The earth pony was a sturdy fellow, not as massive as Big Macintosh but well muscled from life on a farm. His coat was dark brown, mane and tail burgundy, and his cutie mark a bunch of grapes, and a Champagne bottle.
"It would seem so, love," Cham said with a nuzzle to her beloved's neck. Cham was a unicorn the color of, well, champagne. A golden color, that seemed to have a touch of brown in its mix, and her mane was a lighter shade of the same color. Cham's cutie mark was a set of four diamonds, the same color as her coat. Sour Grapes sighed, quietly, rolling her eyes. It was not like she hated this time of year... Okay, yes it was EXACTLY like she hated this time of year, but her father had promised to let her handle the temporary workers, this year. So it should be a BIT better. She can get rid of the chaff, more quickly, and NOT have to deal with her father's tendency to give 'second chances'. "It's time for lunch, anyway," Cham added, as they all clopped back to their farmhouse.
"Love, how do you spell 'interim'?" Champ said, after lunch, as he sat at his desk, writing out this quarter's help wanted poster.
"Eye, in, tea, ea, are, eye, em," Cham said, as she washed up the lunch dishes with her ponykenesis. Grapes looked on with a touch of jealousy but kept up her hoof-drying of the dishes, and putting them away. Champ wrote the word, then finished the poster, with a flourish.
"Hey, raisenett, could you go and post this on the town hall's bulletin board? The sooner you get that up, the sooner you can start showing us your stuff," Champ said holding the poster up.
"Sure, Dad. I'll head right over," she said fetching her saddlebag, and putting the poster into it. Sour Grapes was a unicorn filly just out of her teens, with a chocolate milk brown coat, and a mane the color of rich chocolate. A touch nearsighted, she wore gold rimmed glasses in front of her violet eyes. With the brown canvas saddlebags in place, she trotted out the door, heading to Ponyville.
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After a brisk trot, Sour Grapes reached the Town Square, looking over the townsponies as she made her way to the bulletin board. There was that hyperactive pink mare with the curly mane bouncing around as usual. She stopped by an unfamiliar purple unicorn who had what looked like a dragon on her back. The dragon apparently was trying to get his unicorn friend to chat with the pink earth pony; when said earth pony gasped, then suddenly ran off. Sour Grapes rolled her eyes, and gazed up at Celestia's sun as if asking for divine assistance. Sour Grapes paused by the Carousel Boutique looked at the dresses there, and huffed a sigh, before moving on.
"Load of fancy smancy crud that only a stuck-up git would love," Sour Grapes thought derisively, as she clip-clopped over to the Town Hall. She then snickered at a small secret she had observed, as she reached the board, then proceeded to hammer up the poster. Something she did in an earth pony manner, marehandling the sheet into place, and making use of a hoof-held hammer. She put the hammer into her mouth, backed up a bit, tossing the tool into her saddle bag before sitting back on her haunches to look over her work.
"Why wasn't she using her levitation?" asked a rather immature male voice.
"SPIKE!" came a very annoyed sounding feminine voice.
"What?"
"Don't you think that was a little bit rude?" the female uttered, sounding a touch annoyed. Sour Grapes sighed, as she levitated her saddle bag into place, and turned to discover the newcomer, and her draconian companion, right behind her.
"I don't have fine motor control with my levitation ability," Sour Grapes explained with an air of having had to explain this, a LOT, in the past. "I can lift and carry large things, but more delicate jobs, I have to do with my hooves."
"Oh," they both uttered. Despite her chastising her dragon, the purple unicorn had been, obviously, curious herself.
"Well... Thank you for explaining. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike. A pleasure to meet you," the unicorn, called Twilight said with a nod. This was obviously a pleasantry, but Sour Grapes' eyebrows shot up in surprise all the same.
"Really? Oh! Uhm... *ahem* I'm Sour Grapes," she uttered still sounding a touch startled. "Uhm... Welcome to Ponyville?"
"Thank you," Twilight said with a smile then looked a bit uncertain. "Er... Do you, by any chance, know the way to Sweet Apple Acres? I've been sent from Canterlot to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Festival, and that's my first stop."
"Sure. I live out that way. I can show you to the gate," Sour Grapes said gesturing with a hoof. "Follow me."
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"Here we are. Take that path and you'll reach Sweet Apple Acres in no time," Grapes said, gesturing. "Though... Ah..." Here Sour Grapes seemed to be at a loss for words. She was rather fond of the Apples, they being her cousins, but she knew how they were. "Don't be surprised if you get an enthusiastic greeting."
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked, as she was about to set hoof on the path.
"Oh, you'll find out," Sour Grapes said with a chuckle. "You won't go away hungry, though." She then turned and went back to Grapevine Hills, obviously amused.
Tomorrow was the Summer Sun Festival, so she'd better get to bed early, unlike most ponies, tonight. On the up side, the holiday gave her a day to prepare for the new hires. On the down side, she'd have to be in the town hall at the break of dawn. Most ponies stayed up all night before the Summer Sun Festival, but Sour Grapes wasn't one of them.
With all the chores for the next few days written up and all the tools that would be needed cleaned and lined up in the work sheds Grapes felt as prepared as anything for her first 'solo' Summerstart. She glanced across to the far end of the property to where her father was busy speaking with a local contractor on the refurbishing of an old barn into a new warehouse for storing wine. He had deliberately given himself a large project that would keep him out of his daughter's mane until she was done... bless his heart. Allowing herself a smile and a feeling of pride at the confidence he had in her organizational abilities she closed the Shed door and came face to face with a smirking Applejack. It always was so FRUSTRATING how a Mare that strong could always sneak up on her like that.
"Howdy Cuz."
"Applejack, do you deliberately try to cause me to have a heart attack?" Sour Grapes asked with a huff.
"Oh a good jolt is good fer ya. Keeps yer ticker in good shape. Guess it's that time again, huh? When's your dad got the helpin' hooves showin' up this year? Same as usual, one week from postin'?" the blonde mare asked with a smile.
"I think so. May even have some day after tomorrow," Sour Grapes said with a shrug. "I'm prepared for everything, and I get to be equine resources, this season. Should be able to get rid of the slackers, before they get out of hoof. And, as usual, I'll be sure to warn you about the worst ones, before they wheedle a job out of Big Mac."
"Well now. You're comin' up in the world, ain't cha? Uncle Champagne's trustin' ya with the lives of the temporary workers and all... Say that reminds me why I came to begin with. Y'all see the new pony in town? Purple gal with a dragon?" Applejack asked.
"Yes, actually. Lead her to your gate, before she could make a wrong turn, and get herself lost in the Everfree Forest," the brown unicorn replied, nodding. "Said her name was Twilight Sparkle."
"Ah like her. A little wordy but Ah can tell she's got a good heart. Turns out she's here on business from the Princess, checkin' up on us here for the Summer Sun festival tomorrow. Guess who found out about her, and wants to roll out the welcome wagon?"
"Oh... no... Don't tell me Pinkie Pie is throwing a party for that poor filly... That explains why she gasped and went running off like a madmare," Sour Grapes uttered rubbing a hoof against her temple.
"Yep. She's got an open invite to everypony in Ponyville to head to the new gal's place at the old Library. Ah know you're not the party-goin' type but Ah figured Ah'd ask while dropping by for a few refreshments. You know Ah hate goin' to a party empty-hoofed," Applejack replied with a grin.
"Don't you have your famous Apple Family Cider to take?" Sour Grapes asked raising an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on her muzzle. "Or would that be too strong for a wordy unicorn who, apparently, is moving into the library?"
"Hard to say. The gal can certainly pack away the pie, Ah'll give her that. So you comin' or do Ah gotta hogtie ya?" Grapes looked at Applejack through half-lidded eyes.
"You're not giving me a choice, are you?" Sour Grapes uttered deadpan. In fact her pan was so dead it was mummified.
"Well no offense, Sour, but you kinda need to get out a little more. No one says you gotta put a lampshade on your head and dance the Pony Pokey on the tables, just drop by have some cake, a drink, say good night and it's all good."
"Oh all right," Sour Grapes said with a sigh.
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After Sour Grapes grabbed a couple of bottles of light wine from the family's personal cellars; and telling her parents where she was headed to, much to their obvious relief, she and Applejack started toward Ponyville.
"I'm not that antisocial," Sour Grapes grumbled, as she trotted after Applejack, her ears laid back in agitation. "It's just that grapes, especially wine grapes, take a lot of care."
"EKS-AHctly!" Applejack agreed, although her cousin realized there had to be a catch in there. "...and that goes for 'SOUR' Grapes too. You're a hard worker, no doubt about that, and honest to boot but you gotta live a little or you're jest gonna wither on the vine."
"All work, and no play, huh?" Sour Grapes uttered, with a smirk.
"Yep. Now let's getalong before Pinkie eats all the good cupcakes," Applejack said speeding up to a light canter.
"Oh... RIGHT! That bouncy pink superball bakes as well as she eats," Sour Grapes uttered, matching Applejack's turn of speed.
They arrived at the Library well before the arrival of Twilight Sparkle, in keeping with Pinkie Pie's desire to have a surprise party. Sour Grapes added her wine to the refreshment table, then stopped to chat with Cheerilee, asking Golden Harvest about her vegetable crop, and even pausing to give her cousin Concord a brief mane-ruffle.
"GRAPESIE!" squealed a high-pitched hyperactive voice, a pair of pink forelegs encircling the chocolate brown unicorn's neck.
"'Grapesie'?" Sour Grapes asked, looking sidelong at the ever-random Pinkie Pie.
"Duh! There's no way I'ma going to call you 'Sour'. That'd be mean! Just 'cause you LOOK sour all the time doesn't mean that you ARE!"
"Oh... Kay..." Sour Grapes murmured, looking at Applejack who just shrugged.
"I allus call her 'Sour' 'cause it's her name," the orange pony said.
"I guess I could go by 'Grapes'. Would probably make it easier on everypony..." Grapes mused.
"I'm really really REALLY glad you could make it, Grapesie! You're always working so very hard, and Applejack gets really worried about you, sometimes," Pinkie gleefully said, nuzzling the increasingly annoyed unicorn. "And then I get worried about you too, and decide to throw you a party, but Applejack tells me that your farm isn't a very good place to throw a party, especially since your Dad's refurbishing the barn. Now where WILL you hold parties?"
"Uh... I don't know? We don't usually hold parties. Wine tastings, yes, but they're usually pretty sedate," Grapes answered sounding genuinely bewildered.
"OH! She's going to be coming soon! I'm SURE she'll enjoy being surprised like this! WHEE!" Pinkie uttered, going off to do something else.
"WHY was this such a good idea again?" Grapes asked, looking at Applejack with a very annoyed expression on her face.
"Why Miss Sour Grapes. What a pleasant surprise!" came a familiar voice as a blindingly white figure pressed her way gently through the crowd. Rarity was smiling and sipping some greenish drink out of a tall glass as she approached. "You hardly ever leave your vineyard unless it's a professional matter, please say you're joining in on our little soiree out of an interest in the newcomer?" Grapes looked a touch pained.
"That... could technically be true, yes... But I can't say that, honestly," Sour Grapes uttered, with a slightly queasy look on her face. "Applejack... strongly suggested I come to the party, one way or another, so I chose willingly, rather than being dragged along by lasso."
"Ah yes. Dear Applejack isn't one to make idle threats as well."
"You've got that right. I love my cousin, dearly, but she can be... direct," Grapes uttered, choosing her words carefully. "So... how did the fabric come out? I don't come to town that often, so I never got the chance to ask."
"Oh it was SPLENDID! I know it was a waste of a perfectly good bottle of wine but once I found an ideal fabric to catch the look of the linen then I was able to duplicate the color in a true Dye and now I have a popular purple-red shade of cloth for my projects... and the young colt who wished for a tuxedo in that color is very happy."
"You... bought a whole case , Rarity," Grapes uttered.
"Well yes, of course. It was a good vintage, was it not? I wasn't about to begin such a project without a little extra inspiration. And of course it's simply good policy to keep some refreshments on hand for company," Rarity replied airily.
"Oh, of COURSE," Grapes uttered, imitating Rarity's mode of speech for her personal amusement. Grapes first met Rarity when she dropped by their Vineyard, to compare fabric samples to their crops. She and a client had very different views as to what 'Grape Purple" should look like so rather than admit defeat she went straight to the source. Grapes herself had taken the unicorn on a personal tour, explaining the history of the vineyard, the many varieties of grapes followed by a modest wine tasting afterwards. When Rarity had spilled a glass of 'Chateau D'Chevelier' upon the white linen tablecloth she just about squealed with glee. Apparently it was JUST the shade of purple she was looking for and after buying a case of wine AND the tablecloth she rushed off home to experiment.
"SHE'S COMING! SHE'S COMING!" Pinkie squealed. "Somepony HIT THE LIGHTS!" The lights went out, and for a brief moment, a yellow colored pegasus with a flowing pink make came flying in.
"Poor thing," the pegasus said in a soft, sweet voice. "You simply must get into bed."
"Yes yes. We'll get RIGHT on that," Twilight's voice said from the door. "Well goodnight!" With that final declaration, the door slammed.
"Huh. Rude much?" Spike asked.
"Sorry, Spike, but I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming and we're running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of CRAZY ponies trying make friends all the time. Now where's the light?" With that obvious signal, the lights went on, and all present shouted "SURPRISE!" Sour Grapes was probably the only pony there that noticed that their new arrival was somewhat less than pleased with the party.
"Suh-PRIIIIZE! Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for YOU! Were ya surprised? Were you, were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?"
"VERY surprised. Libraries are supposed to be quiet ," Twilight Sparkle uttered, that annoyed tone coming in again.
"That's SILLY! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean DUH! Boring!" Grapes watched the entire exchange, sympathizing with Twilight a bit, but only a bit. That was one pony who seriously needed to loosen up. And if Sour Grapes was thinking that, then it was a super serious case of being uptight. So Grapes watched Twilight grab a bottle of hot sauce instead of the bottle of Zinfandel that was beside it, pour it into a cup, and proceed to drink the condiment. The brown unicorn would have said something, but between Pinkie's torrent of words, and Grapes' own waning sympathy, she didn't get a word in edgewise. "And NOW you have lots and lots of FRIENDS!" Pinkie concluded, just as the heat of the sauce hit Twilight's tongue. The purple unicorn teared up, her face going a bright scarlet.
"Are you alright, sugar-cube?" Applejack asked concerned. Soon after Applejack's question Twilight's mane and tail seemed to ignite on fire, before she went trotting up the stairs.
"Hot sauce," Spike uttered, picking up the bottle. Pinkie ooh'ed, and poured some onto a cupcake, and munched it with obvious relish... But thankfully without the actual condiment.
"What?" Pinkie uttered, around a mouthful of cupcake. "It's good ." Grapes just stood to the side, chuckling at the whole scene, obviously enjoying the schadenfreude
"Well, that was entertaining," Grapes chuckled. "Definitely worth the price of admission."
"That was just a touch... mean-spirited, don't you think, darling?" Rarity asked raising an eyebrow at Grapes' comment.
"I think so, yes. Maybe even more than a touch," Grapes replied with her usual uncompromising honesty. "However there are a multitude of things that I could have said that was much worse, and the entirety of them would not have reflected my actual opinion on the situation."
"And what IS your opinion, dear?" Rarity inquired.
"That Twilight Sparkle's even more uptight than I am... And that is saying quite a lot."
Like many of Pinkie Pie's parties, it continued on full throttle, guest of honor present or not. Twillight must have had a flammable stomach because she didn't emerge from the librarian's quarters for as long as Grapes stayed. Still, her familiar... the little Dragon Spike, was quite the life of the party, even putting on the obligatory lampshade and dancing on a tabletop. Grapes assumed that SOMEONE had to do it and it was better Spike than someone who might too heavy for a table. Against her will she had a fairly good time, ate a little, drank a little and opening an ear easily caught up on the latest gossip. Apparently Twilight truly was Princess Celestia's representative and had apparently approved of all the preparations. And in just a few hours... Grapes had to admire that level of efficiency.
As the time came for the start of the Summer Sun Festival, Grapes found herself joining her cousin, and the others, at the Town Hall. Grapes knew she was probably going to be regretting this all-nighter, but it had been fun. It was hard getting into town hall, the place was positively packed mane-to-tail. There must have been every pony in Ponyville here. She settled for a spot near the door and got comfortable. At least the high balcony had been chosen for Princess Celestia's grand appearance. EVERYpony could see it clearly. To be honest Grapes really couldn't give a sack of seeds about the Princess. It's not that she was anti-monarchist, it's just Celestia was the best KIND of monarch, one that stayed out of sight for the most part, letting Ponies get on with their daily ins and outs that kept things running. Out of sight out of mind, doing... well to be honest she wasn't entirely sure what Celestia did other than raise the sun and moon, but taxes were paid, roads were mended, hospitals funded, the Bit remained a stable form of currency and so somewhere this system was working.
Then the fertilizer hit the fan. The sun did not come up, the Princess was gone, and in her place, appeared a frightening apparition! And through it all, it seemed that Twilight Sparkle was the only pony that knew what the hay was going on. She was jostled as the panic began to really hit the crowd. It was hard NOT to join on in as the fear spread but somehow she managed to keep her head.. and it was a good thing because she had to get the flank out of the way when that... living Nightmare transformed into a streak of purple and surged through the massive doors.
"The Mare in the Moon?" Grapes asked, looking toward the moon, which still hung in the sky. Sure enough, the mare's silhouette was... gone. "But... wasn't that just an old legend?"
"Ah don't rightly know. But it looks like Twilight's the only one who knows what's a goin' on," Applejack said, getting to her hooves.
"Where are you going?" Grapes asked her cousin.
"To see what she knows, an' to help her ifin' I can," Applejack replied.
"All right. I'll... see what I can do, here, I guess. Good luck, Applejack. Do NOT get yourself killed," Grapes said adamantly.
"Aw, shucks, Cuz, Ah didn't know you cared."
"Well SOMEBODY'S got to keep me from becoming a total recluse!" Applejack gave her cousin a quick nuzzle, before galloping off, leaving Grapes to do what she could to help quell the panicked herd.
To be honest Grapes awas hardly thrilled at the prospect at eternal night. Her first thought was 'All the crops in Equestria will die without sunlight... unless we start figuring out how to grow and harvest mushrooms on a mass scale in a hurry, everypony... and that was every earth pony, unicorn and pegasi... were gonna starve to death.' She and some other 'upstanding pillars of the community' put their heads together with the remaining Royal Guards and started getting everypony to start collecting lanterns all in the town square. At this moment light was comfort and if nothing else a lot of lanterns together would make an island of hope. It did give Grapes a slight warm feeling to know she was considered an 'upstanding pillar of the community.' She was feeling a bit more accepted, though she was still rather blunt in her dealings.
It was a beautiful night... even if it was long past dawn. As she huddled there with the other ponies she could see constellations she had heard of in passing but never thought of looking for before. She tried not to think of the awareness of the kinds of trouble Ponyville and all of Equestria was in and more on the stars overhead when she felt a tug on her tail. Glancing down it was Applebloom looking up at her.
"Auntie Sour Grapes? What do you see?" Grapes raised her eyebrows, then smiled down at the youngest Apple. She then began to point out the different constellations, telling their stories to the fascinated Applebloom. Soon enough they dozed off, snugged together, and napped there for quite a while. Even little Applebloom had an all nighter with her family, the eve of the Summer Sun Festival. But this time, there was no summer sun, to celebrate.
Some ponies tried to get on with their daily routines... stores burning the midnight oil in the midday acted like beacons in the dark, adding to the town's attempt to stay in the light. Bread was baked, drinks were poured, customers served. Unlike the usual working day there was a morose quiet among the ponies... even when the unsaid was said it was usually as a weak joke. Nopony really could bring themselves to admit that the darkness truly could be eternal. The lamp store gave their lights away for free, charging only for the oil, and regular price as well. Something Grapes would have approved of if she had been awake... even at regular price the oil sales would make them recoup the hit they took from the freebies. Then, suddenly, it happened. The sun rose, warming the land, and waking up Sour Grapes and her little cousin Applebloom.
"They... they must have did what-ever-it-was they needed to do," Grapes murmured, looking around, as the townsponies were gleefully blowing out the lanterns, and putting them away. Soon after Pinkie came galloping into town, and organized the biggest party that the town had ever seen. "Applejack is SO going to tell me what happened later," she uttered, as she decided to leave. She was tired of the crowds, and was not in the mood for another Pinkie Pie Party so soon on the heels of the previous one. Anyway, she had farmhooves to supervise, and grapes to harvest. The rest of Equestria, and Ponyville, could obviously take care of itself, now.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Of Ponies and Pomace*
*pomace: the unfermented skins, seeds and cluster stems that are produced from pressing grapes
It was about a week after the Summer Sun festival, and Sour Grapes was standing at the gate of the vineyard. It was bright and early, and she was expecting the cart from Ponyville with the temporary farmhooves to arrive at any time. She had paid Big Macintosh to haul the workers here. This way it was the large farmpony who had to wait for stragglers, and not Grapes herself. Grapes hated repeating herself, especially to the temporary help. The rule she left on the job notice was be on the wagon or go home, so it was clear that if you wanted to work you had to arrive by wagon. Of course the large red pony was under no obligation to hurry either, so no doubt there might be a few last minute ponies who would run and jump in. She heard some faint laughter, singing and clowning about accompanied with a slow and steady Clip-Clop she recognized as Big Macintosh's patient gait.
Grapes had worn her pruning vest, and was determined to be as imposing as she possibly could. She wasn't going to take any guff, or accept any laziness. This was her chance to prove to her father that her way of doing things, and not being so willing to let slackers stay on, would be more profitable. It would be better if she could find good steady full-time, or full-time-ish help, but nopony nowadays wanted to be a farmhoof. The Wagon turned down the road leading to the main house and she tried her best not to look too disappointed. The Majority of these ponies looked... well some were too skinny, some too heavy, and in general most looked like they had never done an honest day's work yet. there were a few who looked decent, some that looked strong or tough enough for the job. One pony looked like he had just escaped from Ardennes-traz Prison, what with his stubble, scars and black oilskin vest with metal rivets. Still she TRIED not to jump to conclusions and trotted forth to the group in the most authoritarian manner she could.
"Good morning, fillies and gentlecolts. My name is Sour Grapes. You will address me as 'ma'am', or 'Miss Grapes'," she said crisply. "You are here to work. Not slack off, not eat grapes, not fool around among the frames. You will not be wine tasting, stomping grapes for wine, or any of the other things you were imagining on the wagon-ride up here. You are here to pick grapes. You will work hard, I WILL check up on you, and if you are caught slacking you will feel my hooves on your hindquarters kicking you out the gate. Any questions?" A green Pony with a shockingly purple POOF of a mane raised his hoof. It was like seeing a thistle trying to get her attention. "What is your question?"
"Yes Ma'am... So where's the real boss of the Vineyard, or is he just busy right now?" The pony asked, his voice lacking even a tinge of irony that would allow her to assume he was suggesting that a Filly couldn't handle the task she was. His eyes twinked under the mop of hair on his head, suggesting a mischievous air about him, but he wasn't about to give her an excuse to fire him before he earned it.
"My father is refurbishing the barn, this season," Grapes answered with supreme calm, gazing at the green pony with her most authoritative air. "Father left keeping you farmhooves in line in MY capable hooves." She lowered her voice into a very deadly tone, gazing at him through half-lidded eyes. "Do you have a... problem... with that?"
"Who, me? Not at all Ma'am... you just don't look much older than me. Can't see you running a farm at this stage unless it's in someone's stead... or inherited."
"I grew up on this farm. I learned everything I know at my father's hooves," Grapes said proudly. "I have no intention of disgracing his legacy. Nor do I have any intention of allowing anypony else do so either. Now are there any other questions?"
A cloud-gray hoof went up at the back, the pony it belonged to eclipsed by the huge burly brown pony she noticed earlier. "I have one question."
"And that would be?"
The massive pony stepped to the side to take a look at the pony behind him, and revealed him to grapes. He was maybe the second-largest pony here, his body covered in sleek cloud-gray hair while his mane was neatly trimmed and the darker color of a raincloud. He had a decent amount of muscle, especially across his shoulders and back... at least as far as she could tell with the Quarter-sheet saddle blanket he wore. His legs looked pretty strong and his eyes... well okay she wasn't about to go goo-goo over some pony just because he had nice Sky-blue eyes but they really did look nice. He seemed a little uncertain for someone his size and he pawed the ground a little. "On the notice it mentioned the offered Salary but you neglected to say when payment is. Are we looking at, at the end of the job or in smaller installments as we go along... Miss Grapes?"
"It's a daily salary," she said looking up at him. "You are paid by the poundage of grapes you harvest a day. If you're a steady worker, and do not muck about, you can net yourself a decent amount of bits, every day." The ponies relaxed, grinning and nodding to one another. She had seen their type before. Work all day, then into town to dance and carouse at the Wild Mustang Cafe... lose their Bits, then crawl back to the Vineyard to start it all over again. Grapes sighed, then looked back up at the gray stallion. "Was that all? Any other questions? If not, we will take the tour, and show you the common house, where you will be staying, then we can get a good start on the day's work."
Nopony seemed to object and so she led them about the property, showing them the various buildings, the property boundaries and everything else they should know immediately. Like the location of the baskets and the scale that would be their lives for the next few weeks. She instructed them on what they were to do, and set them up in the ripest field. She walked the frames, keeping an eye on everypony, checking on their work, and oh-so-casually reminding them that the pay is by the weight not by the hour . After a few hours, she had then take a break, get some water, and stretch out the kinks in their necks. By the time she had them grab their baskets it was nearing noon, and many took her notice of 'by weight' to heart, really tearing into their work. She knew the burst of enthusiasm wouldn't last long, but she could dream. She did notice the pony with the blanket wasn't rushing, nor was he slow. He seemed to have found his pace and was sticking to it. It was a little strange to see a pony who caught on that quickly.
They stopped for lunch, soon after, a grazing table having been set up, earlier, with an array of succulent grasses, hay, and other tasty food. Grapes went inside to eat, keeping to the rule of not eating with the farmhooves. If they were permanent, the bonds that could be formed over a meal would be vital, but... Well at this stage it was better to stay "Friendly but never familliar", otherwise they would think they could get away with blue fodder.
Still she kept an eye on them through the window and watched to see how they interacted on their lunch break. It was a good way to see who might 'play nice with others' and who wasn't about to. Oddly enough one she mentally called "Oilskin vest Guy" seemed to be the most talkative and friendly... almost as if compensating for something. The Purple-maned pony easily bantered with everyone else and the gray Pony seemed to be happy to just listen to everypony else. Some of the others, though, she was sure were going to be tossed out on their flanks, soon enough. The overweight pony was causing her some suspicion, but she was not sure, just yet.
Still she gave them till the end of the day and the final weigh in. She eyed the fat pony suspiciously, and the suspiciously not-as-heavy-as-it-should-be baskets of grapes. She couldn't prove anything but she made a mental note to keep an eye on him. The others came in with decent or half-assed quantities. The one in the blanket had a very good haul, only a couple had more than him, but they looked exhausted... she suspected that if they went out dancing tonight they wouldn't be waking up bright eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow.
"Now, I noticed that your baskets wasn't as heavy as they really should be," Grapes said, as she took aside the two ponies who had half-assed quantities in their baskets. "That one," she added, pointing to the gray colt's basket, "Is a good example of what I was expecting, and you couldn't even get that amount. What did you call yourselves DOING!?"
They looked at one another nervously when one started to puff himself up. She recognized the sight of a Pony about to try to push attitude back on her to save face in front of the others, and she steeled herself for it. "Hey, Excuuuuuse me, PRINCESS but we've never done this work before, it's hot out there and we've been feeling your breath on our necks the whole time making this a VERY hostile workplace."
"It's a little thing called 'supervision', little foal," Grapes uttered, in that steely tone from earlier. "It's my way of keeping up with what you're doing, making sure you're not mucking about, being sure you're getting plenty of water, and multitude of other things to keep this harvest on track. If you do not like it, you are more than welcome to leave."
"Well... Well... " he stuttered, trying to look in control in front of the other 'colts' before giving a large huff in her face. "Then I quit... pay me for what I did and I am out of this filly fest."
"Very well. You and your little foalish friends can run home to mommie," Grapes said intimidatingly, "and get a job at the local fast food joint, because you will NOT get a job at ANY of the farms, out here. And if I see any of your sorry tails again, I'll personally buck you back to town." She doled out the few bits they had earned, then watched them go with a frown on her face. It wasn't easy to watch as several of her workers left on account of their pride... it was such a STUPID reason to leave a perfectly fine job. But good riddance to those who couldn't handle taking orders from a Mare.
Grapes finished paying off the other ponies and put the undistributed bits back into the bag and looked them all in the eye. Something had to be said... she needed to remind them that she wasn't doing this to be a royal pain in the flank but out of fairness to the rest of them who WERE willing to work hard. She just wasn't going to take any roadapples from any pony who worked for her.
"I want to thank you all. You, who remain, had the tenacity and gumption to actually do the job laid before you, do it well, and it would not have been fair to you to allow shirkers to stay," Grapes said, looking from pony to pony, studiously avoiding the eyes of the chubby one she had her suspicions about. "The rest of the day is yours to do with as you see fit. Dinner will be served at six. Thank you, again." Snapping the carpetbag shut she picked it up by the handle with her teeth and trotted up the stairs of her home. She could have lifted it by hornpower but it did a lot of good to show the workers she wasn't above physical acts. She shut the door behind her and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She was ready for that pony's words but they still stung. 'Filly-Fest'? As if being a female was a crime, nopony ever brought that sort of thing up, especially when they've had a FEMALE alicorn in charge for more than a thousand years. She wished she could ask the workers opinions on if she came across too... biting. She wanted them to think of her authority.. not some Biter of a Mare. Then she heard something through the door. The ponies were talking. She strained to hear when a deep, rough voice silence the others "WOOOAH."
"What? What's 'Woah?"
"That. What she did... That was SO hot."
"Really?"
"Hey, man, when a filly takes charge like that, stamps her hoof down and sends the little colts scampering home to momma? I don't care who you are... that's HOT."
"Hmm. This might not be so bad, after all," Grapes chuckled to herself, then went to see about fixing a good dinner for those who stayed. The chocolate brown unicorn was in a considerably more cheerful mood, after hearing the burly stallion's declaration. After all it wasn't every day she was called 'hot' for being herself.
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Sour Grapes had set up the soup to slow cook, then hoofed over to the common house to see if the dining room, there, needed to be cleaned up, when it hit her. Well it wasn't an 'it', but a 'she'. Applejack had come barreling up the drive to catch Grapes in a tackle, that sent them both rolling. When they stopped, Grapes glared up at her cousin, breathing hard from the impact.
"What the HAY has gotten into you, Applejack?" she asked, angrily.
"Ah jus' got the BEST news, Cuz! Twilight got herself invited ta tha Grand Gallopin' Gala, an' she's got tickets for ALLA us!"
"What?" Grapes uttered, as she got to her hooves, and shook herself off. "You were invited to the Grand Galloping Gala? I thought you HATED fancy parties..."
"Well can't say I'll fit in too well, but I think ah can win em over with some down home charm while I bust out my Apple Stall," Applejack said proudly.
"You're going so you can sell apple treats?" the chocolate brown unicorn asked, sounding a bit uneasy.
"Sure as sugar, Sour. Ah figgure they've been livin on the fancy stuff for too long and might jest be lining up to sink their teeth into my apple pie."
"But..."
"Oh it ain't gonna be like I'll be setting up shop in her highness' throne room. I'll find me a nice quiet stretch of property... but not TOO quiet if you get my meaning, and set up there," the orange farmpony uttered, reassuringly.
"They have their own caterers..." Grapes finally said. "I should know. I sell them wine."
"And that's why Ah'll be sticking to the outside of the party. Ah doubt that there'll be fellas walkin about with silver trays there," Applejack insisted, sounding perfectly reasonable.
"And it's a free buffet..."
"Now don't you be usin' your fancy logic on me, cousin. Ah'm set on doin' this," Applejack said determinedly.
"I'm just worried you'll be doing all that for nothing... At least you've got until next spring to plan the whole thing," Grapes said, still uneasy about the whole thing. There were just SO many ways it could possibly go wrong it wasn't funny, and Grapes was in a position to know far better than anypony.
"Yep... and it won't be like I'll be missin' much. The other gals all got their own plans for the party," Applejack uttered with a grin.
"Really? What could they all be possibly planning to do there?" Grapes asked with a laugh. "Little miss bookworm can't possibly be planning on ditching for the Royal Canterlot Library, can she? She's probably read every book in the place."
"I bet she lived in there during her days at that fancy Unicorn Magic School... Come to think of it, I don't remember her ever saying when she graduated. Eh probably never thought it was important to mention," Applejack observed, musingly.
"Do you know what they're intending to do?" Grapes asked.
"I ain't exactly sure, but knowing the gals it'll probably involve Animals, Parties, Magic, Socializin' and Showin' off," she said nudging Grapes. Grapes mentally checked off the five ponies that Applejack had practically dragged out to the vineyard to formally meet her favorite cousin. Twilight turned out to be somepony Grapes could actually talk to, Grapes herself being rather well read. Fluttershy certainly lived up to her name, and it took all of Grapes' listening and observation skills to understand what the timid pony said, without constantly asking her to repeat herself. Rarity and Pinkie, she knew from before, but this was the first time that Grapes had seen Rainbow Dash up close.
"Okay... Just hope all of you aren't going to be disappointed. It seems like you're putting a lot of hope into that one night," Grapes said, shaking her head. "Anyway... Know where I could get a new vest?"
"Jest the usual place... " Applejack said rolling her eyes. "Rarity's place. I told her I was just planning on wearin' my duds there but she insisted on sprucing them up for me."
"Seriously? THIS I've got to see!" Grapes laughed. "You, in fancy duds."
"Well it ain't like I'll be in some old frumpy frou-frou frilly Filly dress. But if'n I know Rarity..." she trailed off and giggled. "Well we know what she's like."
"Heh. Yeah. Well, I guess I should go and pay her a visit. My pruning vest has seen many better days, and it's practically coming apart at the seams," Grapes uttered. "I just hope I can get out of there, without her turning it into some kind of new fashion or something."
"Or gluin' all kinds of rubies and diamonds to it."
"What use would gemstones be on a pruning vest?" Grapes uttered. "Oh. Right. Ask HER that."
"Yep... If she starts doin' that you may be able to get her to change to some kind of purple gem... Might look purty if she can make it look like grapes," Applejack mused.
"It's a pruning vest. To carry pruning tools. It does NOT need gemstones," Grapes groused.
Sour Grapes could not get away from the vineyard before the weekend, when pretty much everybody got a respite from the hard work of harvesting. And Grapes herself got a respite from the hard work of supervising. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but so far it's been proving worthwhile. Even after she discovered that Fritter, the chubby pony temp, was eating more grapes than he was harvesting. Thanks to clever use of the scales, she was able to prove her accusations, properly fire the annoying little hay bale, and be sure to tell all the farmers in the area about him. The last thing that the farmponies around here needed was a greedy little goit who would eat their profits. She reached Rarity's shop in good time, and stood outside, as she listened to Rarity singing.
"There must be something in the water," Grapes mused. "'Cause practically everypony I know has a good singing voice." Grapes, herself, could sing reasonably well, and often sang while she worked. She waited until the song came to an end, then knocked on the door, just to make sure it was safe.
"Ah... one moment please," came Rarity's voice from inside. Grapes heard Rarity drop the volume of her voice and sing the last line of her song before the door opened wide revealing gleaming white unicorn beaming at her. No doubt she could NOT leave a song unfinished.
"Hi, Rarity. I was wondering..." Grapes started to say, before the exuberant unicorn pulled her into the shop.
"Oh, Sour Grapes, I've had the most astonishing BURST of inspiration lately," She GUSHED as she swept the other unicorn past six rather astonishing dresses. "I feel so giddy with it I haven't even slept for more than a few hours at a time these past few days." Grapes had to stop, and stare.
"Wow, Rarity, those are amazing! Is that one Applejack's? It's fantastic."
"Why thank you... I've worked so hard on them why I haven't even gotten past the design phase of my OWN dress. I am pleased to have captured the essence of my closest friends... So much in fact I may even make a gift of them."
"That's incredibly generous of you, Rarity," Grapes said, tilting her head. "I know I couldn't afford anything like this, myself. Seriously, though, you outdid yourself with all of these. That blue one's obviously Twilight's. I love your use of impressionism, and the clever visual pun on her name. And Applejack's has got an air of elegant simplicity."
"I tried to keep a sense of... sensibility in it. And something that would be perfect to advertise Sweet Apple Acres to the upper class," Rarity said as she pranced about, still aglow with her success, and the praise that Grapes had given her. "Oh! And what about YOU?"
"What about me?" Grapes asked, bewildered by the sudden change in subject.
"Surely you would need a dress too. A unicorn of your stature would naturally have an invite," Rarity said clopping her forehooves together and quickly bringing out fabric samples.
"But I don't have any kind of..." Grapes began, only to be interrupted.
"Oh come now... I know of these sorts of things, and it's not a dark secret that your mother, father and you have an open invitation to the Gala." She started draping bolts of cloth across Grapes' form, looking at how they hung and what colors seemed to work with the earthy brown of her coat. "You may show up at any time you wish and no guard may bar your entry... Unless of course you're a recognized troublemaker, but beyond that... Hmm. Purple seems ironically to NOT be your color, dear." Grapes had to chuckle at that, then looked back at her flank.
"It works just fine on my cutie mark," she uttered drolly. "But, seriously, Rarity, you don't have to do this. I couldn't possibly afford..."
"Please, you may not be able to afford this but I can. Remember that wine-colored fabric you helped me find? The pony that purchased that practically paid for ALL my spa sessions, this year."
"NO way of talking you out of this, is there?"
"Probably not," Rarity said as a glowing measuring tape SWOOPED in to start taking some very invasive measurements. "Back, Shoulders, forelegs, Hind-legs, inseam..."
"HEY! Watch where you levitate that thing!" Grapes yelped.
"Sorry, dear, I DO get so carried away. Oooooh I HOPE the others love the works I created for them. Mmm... Yes. I can see sedate yellows are more your speed. You really should get your colors done one day. It speeds things up."
"What do you mean by 'get my colors done'?" Grapes said sounding perplexed. "I doubt I'm going to come here often, for anything more than, oh, say, a new pruning vest."
"Well everypony has certain colors that work well with them. Some it's warm colors, some cool, and they're organised to match the four seasons. For example your cousin, Applejack, is an autumn," Rarity said, offhoofedly.
"Oh... So you've done Applejack's colors, hm? It's not exactly like she comes here a lot, either... Except, maybe, for un-gussied-up work duds," Grapes asked oh so innocently. "One would simply have to wonder why you'd go through so much trouble."
"Actually she seldom comes around here. Poor thing seems content to buy off the rack but in our time together I have done my best to figure out all my friends' colors." Rarity cinched some fabric about Grapes' waist and 'Hmmed' "Why all the inquiry about 'duds' anyways? Are you trying to ask me something?"
"Just what you're intending to do at the Gala," Grapes said, with a shrug. "I know that Applejack's going to set up a booth, to try and compete with a catered buffet."
She giggled in a conspiratorial tone. "Oh I have my plans... You know how much of a social rogue I pride myself on being? Well... While there I intend to cozy up to a certain gorgeous Prince."
"Oh no, not Blue Dor-... Uh... Blue Blood."
"Oh yes. Distant relation to Princess Celestia herself. Oh if I can make a good impression on him, prove to him I am a lady of refinement... and he chooses to ask me to marry him... Well, then I will be elevated in status and prestige to a level no other pony there that could match," Rarity gushed, enthusiastically.
"You've got to be able to STAND him, first, Rarity," Grapes uttered, deadpan. "Him, and his Equestria-sized ego." Unfortunately Rarity seemed unable to hear Grapes, lost in her own little world which probably included Expensive fabrics, exclusive clientele and unrestricted access to the Royal Jewelry Vault. "RARITY! I've got to be able to BREATHE!"
"Oh... sorry. Corsets are in this year... Silly things really but they are popular," the purple-maned unicorn said as she made notes and measurements.
"Why in Equestria would a PONY need a corset?" Grapes uttered, looking back a the contraption in obvious annoyance. While Rarity was flitting from fabrics, to desk, a pencil flying via ponykenesis to draw on a piece of parchment, Sour Grapes struggled to get out of the confining piece of lingerie. Then all of the sudden TWANG! Grapes yelped in utter surprise.
"Oh, for star's sake!" Rarity looked over at her fitting stand, and saw that Grapes had, somehow, ended up hog-tied by the corset, and was obviously laughing at herself.
The fashonista began to giggle. "Oh dear.... Oh dear oh dear oh dear. On my dear Sour grapes... how did you accomplish this?"
"I was trying to get OUT of this ridiculous thing... I'm not sure this qualifies as an accomplishment, or a mistake..." Grapes replied, still laughing. "But I look positively silly. Corsets. On PONIES! WHO thought this was a wonderful idea?"
The marshmallow white pony got to her feet and began to laugh as she trotted over to help the hapless Grapes. "I wish I knew, darling. Now let me help you out of that thing."
"Please do, the blood's rushing to my head..."
Grapes did her best to get a new pruning vest included into her dressmaking but she feared that Rarity was too... artistic to get it right. Still by the time she left she almost was considering going to the Gala... Almost. Rarity seemed to make it sound fresh and exciting... Not filled with Old Bits and self-importance. Sour Grapes, however, remembered all too well how high society ponies were, and what an completely horrible time she had when SHE went to the Gala at her Grandmother Diamond's behest. She was, once again, afraid that yet another mare was setting herself up for disaster.
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Sour Grapes made her way back to the vineyard, pensively, her mind on the possibility of the disappointment that Applejack and Rarity would eventually face, that spring. She loved Applejack dearly, and hated to see the possibility of her having difficulties, but still she was competing with a catered buffet, that was offered as a part of the Gala itself. Sour Grapes, surprisingly enough, liked Rarity, bless her little artistic heart. Grapes still knew that the high society ponies at the Gala would think of her as nothing more than a common tradespony, and a social climber. And to be blatantly honest, Sour Grapes would never wish the arrogant "Blue Dork" on anypony. Still, after the fitting session with Rarity, she was VERY glad to get back to the farm.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
As far as Sour Grapes was concerned, things went back to fairly normal. Grapes were harvested, weighed, and put into the cool of the processing room to await processing. Workers were supervised, advised on when to get water, work checked, paid, and fed lunch and dinner. Some of the farmhooves went to town, and partied, coming back in the wee hours of the morning, but they were quick to discover that their employer had a distinct lack of sympathy for their shenanigans. One morning she came out and there, the enormous pony with the studded vest and the tattooish looking cutie mark of a bent thorny branch, with red buds on it, was standing there wearing his saddlebags waiting outside her door. She blinked at him, in quiet alarm. She had already lost three ponies, already, this season, and now it looked like she was about to lose yet another.
"Good morning. Basashi, wasn't it? How can I help you?" Grapes asked in obvious trepidation.
He smirked and then his face grew serious again. "Well Miss Sour grapes. I don't like leaving you in the middle of your season, but, well, that is to say I have to go now."
"Is there a problem? Like you said, it's the middle of the season, and you've been one of the better workers we've had," Grapes asked, looking concerned.
"Well it's a little embarrassing to say but... I've decided that I should go back to Altai-Traz prison and finish of the rest of my sentence," the large pony uttered, rubbing the back of his head, looking, indeed, quite embarrassed.
"Wait... What?"
"Well I did say it's embarrassing... You see, I've only served part of my sentence before I escaped from the Altai-Traz Penitentiary. I thought I'd lay low a while and so for the past few weeks here I've been going native, hoping nobody would think I was hiding in plain sight. But I'm feeling like I really should go back now," Basashi said, earnestly. Grapes just tilted her head in obvious confusion.
"You, apparently, was... Eluding capture, but now you want to go back, and serve your sentence," Grapes uttered, sounding like she was trying to come to grips with the concept. "This is obviously a stupid question, but why are you going back, aside from the obvious desire to 'pay your debit to society' as it were?"
"Well that's pretty much it. Working here hasn't been all that bad, it's not like prison is the better option to working for you or something," Basashi replied, obviously trying to explain himself. "Well... there is something else."
"And what would that be?" Grapes uttered with an exasperated sigh.
"Despite nobody really looking for me here I keep checking over my shoulder and worrying that they might somehow find me. Not really for what they might do to me... Heck the Royal Guard backed down when I just stamped my hoof at them. It's just that I don't want to cause YOU any trouble. You've been a fair employer to us all, you didn't jerk my reins and didn't take it when people jerked yours." Grapes blinked in sheer surprise at that declaration.
"Oh... Well... Thank you. Uh... Give me a sec," she said, ducking back inside. Grapes quickly found a piece of parchment, and her quill, and she quickly wrote out a letter of reference. "Hard worker, not causing any trouble, wishes to pay debit to society, yadda yadda yadda," she murmured as she horn-wrote all this out. Hornwriting was the only "delicate" task she could manage with her limited ponykenesis, but even that was somewhat difficult for her, for prolonged periods of time. The brown unicorn went back to the door, and offered him a sealed envelope. "Don't know how much a letter of reference from me will help you, but..."
He took the letter in his lips and carefully placed it in his saddlebag. "Thank you very much. I appreciate your sticking your neck out like that. It really means a lot to see there are good ponies in the world."
"I did write that I didn't know, until you told me, about your great escape... Er... If you don't mind me asking... How did you get taken in, if even the Royal Guards backed down? And what the hay was your crime in the first place?" Grapes asked, obviously curious.
"Well... Despite the reputation of the Freerunners we're not violent ponies, but we have our moments where we get a little full of our own mythos. The guards stepped up and I felt ready to buck them back down because my bronies where there behind me... Then the Princess appeared. I don't know about you, but while I could probably take a whole squad of guards there was no way in Equestria I was gonna mess with a Sun-juggling pony who was willing and able to send her own SISTER to the moon to keep the peace," Basashi paused and giggled nervously. "And the disappointed look she had on her face was not something I wanted to see again. You see, the Freerunners and me had been passing through Canterlot and well... I kinda got hungry and ate Celestia's award-winning Royal Roses." Grapes did not know if she wanted to facehoof, or laugh. So she did both.
"Oh by the sun disk, you DIDN'T!" Grapes uttered, shaking her head. "So she put you in Altai-Traz for eating roses? But everybody eats roses... True, they usually wait until they've been pruned, and put in the store..."
"You don't understand... I ate HER roses. Just three days before that big gardening contest they have every year. I couldn't resist.. they were just so delicious."
"Oh... horseapples..." Grapes uttered. "No wonder... Well, thank you for being so honest with me, and good luck."
"Thank you very much for being so understanding... and good luck with the help. I think the slackers are coming around." With that the burly brown pony trotted out of the gate. Grapes sighed, then proceeded to start her day, a pony short.
Lunch came around, with Grapes setting out the buffet graze with an air of slight distraction. Four ponies gone. True the harvest was still on track, but it looked like she was going to have to see about more workers, at this rate. She had to admit that the early culling had helped a lot... It was a pity that Fritter didn't stuff his basket like he had stuffed his face or she might be ahead of schedule. She sighed and then noticed that gray pony come out of the fields with his baskets and set them next to the scales before picking up the next two. He was definitely an asset... He never complained, never shirked his duties, never went into town except on the weekend and always came back before midnight. He worked hard, kept to himself and was easy on the eyes... He was too good to be true. There was probably unseen layers to him and after losing Basashi she had the horrible feeling that they might prove problematic. Grapes sighed, and checked over everyone, one more time; then called them to lunch, giving them the customary hour off. She packed herself a sandwich, and trotted off to visit her cousin, Doctor Crabapple. It was better to get the customary checkups required by the Ponyville Statute of Fair Employment sooner rather than later. The later one put it off, the easier it was to forget that vital step.
Everypony in the area who knew him, usually knew him as Ol' Doc Crabapple. With his green body and gray mane as well as his crotchety attitude, it was easy to fall prey to the illusion of him being, well, OLD. He was actually not much older than Sour Grapes was. Crabapple started out quite optimistic and positive, but he quickly found out that nobody ever seemed to take his advice seriously. It was only when he adopted the personality of the cranky old country doctor that ponies accepted his word as law, and now he seemed unable to drop the facade anymore. He was however one of the few ponies who seemed able to put up with her snark. She clip-clopped up to his door, and knocked, before sitting herself on the familiar rocking chair, and eating her rye grass and grape leaf sandwich.
The door creaked open and the young stallion stepped out on the porch. He still looked old, that is until you looked past his coloring and expression and saw the rather youthful pony that still lay beneath. He glanced over and smirked when he saw her. "Sour Grapes... And what do I owe the honor of you darkening my doorstep?"
"Mph," Grapes uttered, before swallowing her bite of sandwich. "I'll have you know I am NOT darkening your doorstep. I'm nowhere near the darned thing," she added, with a smirk. "Why I'm here, though, is that it's getting to be that time again, and if I put it off, it's likely you'd be sent by Mayor Mare's office, and I'd rather avoid that."
"Oh... THAT," he said flatly. "As if I don't have better things to do than poke and prod ponies per Employment period."
"Well, I would presume it pays the bills," Grapes observed, as she ate more of her sandwich. "So. Tomorrow good for you? Or any other day?"
"Tomorrow is good as any time," Crabapple grumbled sticking his head under the table and pulling out a brown jug and some glasses. He poured two glasses and then had a seat. "At least it's a good way to make a few extra bits. So how are the latest batch of newbies?"
"I've lost four, already. Two didn't like assertive mares, one tried to single-hoofedly eat all my Merlot grapes, and one, a Freerunner believe it or not, decided that to go and serve a prison sentence that he'd escaped from in order not to get ME into trouble," Grapes said, taking a sip of Crabapple's cider, shaking her head at the kick.
"A Freerunner? Boy THAT takes me back," Crabapple smirked sipping at his own.
"Crabapple, you're not that much older than I am," Grapes uttered, giving him this look . "So don't use that 'takes me back' crap on me, okay?"
"Sorry... But I met a Freerunner when I was taking medical courses at Pindosburgh University... I always hate having to tell people I Graduated from P.U." the green earth pony replied, with a chuckle.
"I hear ya. I did take some mail-order business courses from there... Their correspondence courses were all I could do, what with the vineyard needing me and all," Grapes mused, and sipped more of her cider, then she sighed. "I may be being too cynical, but I'm expecting something to be off about my best worker. Gray earth pony, with the strange name of Stormfront... How many EARTH ponies are named after a weather pattern ? I guess it's just because I've lost four, so far, but... I'm expecting a disaster."
"In case you haven't noticed, pony names are pretty darn strange to begin with," he chuckled. "Still, if it gives you pleasure I'll be extra-thorough with him. Just remember to point him out to me."
"Will do, cuz," Grapes said with a nod. "Welp, I'd better head back, before they wreck the frames or something."
"I'll probably stop off noon-ish, provided some fool pony doesn't run themselves over with their own cart or something. I know how my life works," Crabapple groused.
"I hear ya," Grapes said, hopping off the chair. "See you tomorrow. Thanks for the cider."
"See you tomorrow."
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The next morning Grapes announced to the farmhooves that they were going to get their quarterly examination around noon. There were some groans, and complaints, but they were half-hearted at best. The only one who did not complain was Stormfront. The large gray pony in his quarter blanket simply nodded, before getting started on the day's labor. Obviously the harvest was going to be cut short, due to the examinations, for this one day. Still it was better to get this over with, than have to worry about a fine. By the time noon actually rolled around they had actually gotten some decent work in. She had half expected them to slack a little because it would be pretty much a half-day. Crabapple arrived on time... And without a word began to set up over in the Bunkhouse, pulling everything out of his bag that he would need.
"All right, everypony, this is the drill. Doctor Crabapple has a list of your names, and will call you in, when he's ready to see you. Then you'll get some lunch, have the rest of the day off," Grapes said, levitating her list, nodding, then putting it back into her vest, which was still the threadbare version she tried to get replaced.
"All right.... Listen up," Crabapple said standing on the front porch of the bunkhouse. "I call your name, you get your rump in here. First Pony... Wild Oats." A slick pony who had more than once been led back to the farm by constibles after hitting on the wrong mare stepped up to the Doctor, then inside. The door shut behind them and for the next few minutes the farmhooves busied themselves by pulling up the lunch table and starting a game of cards. Grapes sighed, and shook her head. That one was probably going to have some kind of mating-transmitted disease, she just knew it.
Wild Oats emerged a short time later looking rather relieved and headed over to the table joining in on the game. "Barndancer" and the doctor was joined by another Pony. Time passed and one by one they went into the bunkhouse and came right back out again. Some happy, some not. Grapes sighed, watching the progression, just knowing that something was going to go wrong for her.
Soon it was Stormfront's turn. He got up and headded to the Bunkhouse and for a moment she saw him next to Crabapple and was reminded that he was a pretty large pony, almost as husky as Big Macintosh, just a little... well... the word 'Sleeker' came to mind. Stormfront stepped inside and the door shut. It might have been her imagination but as the minutes passed by it felt like they were taking extra-long in there. Sour Grapes checked around the grape frames, checking the fertility of the soil with her Earth Sense, while she waited. She would look back at the Bunkhouse, every so often, waiting for Stormfront to come out. Finally the door opened and Stormfront stepped out, giving his belt a tug tight before smiling and nodding to the Doctor who smiled and nodded back. She did notice that Crabapple had a strange smirk in the way he looked at the larger pony as he walked back to the card table. He then noticed her looking at him. He seemed to be chuckling as he shook his head, a sign that maybe Sour Grapes had been TOO worried about it. But that look Crabapple had a moment ago suggested to her that SOMETHING was weird... just not dangerous.
The chocolate brown unicorn pursed her lips, making a horsy raspberry shaking her head at her own worries. Just being a glass-half-empty kinda filly tended to make her look for disasters where they weren't going to happen. So maybe Stormfront wasn't going to be a problem, but she suspected Wild Oats may be, eventually. The Vineyard couldn't get that kind of reputation. And yet there was SOMETHING about Stormy that bothered her... He WAS hiding something. There would be no point in asking Crabapple... She saw him stand up to some of the most belligerent of prying ponies when it came to confidentiality. There would be no wheedling it out of him... But maybe if she were to ask the right questions at the source... After all, he was a good worker, and she could be considering him for a more permanent position, if he wanted it. Well... That was the truth of the matter, to be blatantly honest. Stormfront was the best worker she had, this season, and she needed to cultivate as many good workers on a permanent basis as she could. Like it or not... the vineyard was BIG and really needed the ponypower to keep it running efficiently.
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The next day was a repeat of the first, though Sour Grapes paused to exchange words with the workers, offering some encouragement, which was a bit of a surprise for them, considering her usual demeanor. She paused by Stormfront, and took a deep breath.
"Good morning," Grapes said calmly. "I was wondering... Is there any way I could know more about you? Er... Don't get the wrong idea, it's just that I'd like to know more about the ponies I'm considering for a more permanent position on the Vineyard, and you're one of the main candidates."
"Oh? Well is there anything in particular you wanted to know?" He answered seeming surprised but not in any way defensive as she was concerned he might be.
'Oh he's got a nice voice, too... Head. In. GAME, Grapes!' Sour Grapes thought, then cleared her throat. "Well... A little background would be nice. Where you're from, former occupation, that sort of thing..."
"Oh well I'm from Maneland. It's a small town near Cloudsdale, not really rich but a popular resort for Rich ponies who want to THINK they're 'roughing it' without really losing all the creature comforts they're accustomed to. It's on a plateau about halfway up the side of Saddlehorn Peak. Nice place, friendly people, lots of little restaurants. I think you'd like it," Stormfront replied, as he continued to work.
"Sounds like it. The mountains aren't very good grape-growing country, though," Grapes joked lightly. "Sorry to ask, but why did you leave?"
"Well I wound up with a nice government job there. Honest pay for honest work and a retirement fund. Pretty much sanctioned by Princess Celestia herself, but Well... It's embarrassing, but one day I forgot to pay attention to what I was doing and I got hurt.. Pretty badly. Last few months have been filled with me recovering from my injuries. I'm almost fully recovered," Stormfront replied, as rose up on his hind legs, to tug a large branch that had grown into the frame free. Just then his blanket shifted, revealing his flank, and Cutie Mark. Sour Grapes found herself looking, puzzled, at a dark menacing storm cloud with a pair of wings 'hugging' it.
'What * Earth Pony** has a Cutie Mark like that?!'* the brown unicorn thought, bewildered.
Stormfront dropped the grapes into a basket and dropping back to all fours, unconsciously tugging his blanket back into position. "It's been... interesting down here. You spend enough time on the side of a mountain you forget there's a whole WORLD of ponies below."
"I guess that's possible," Grapes mused. "Sometimes it can get that way, here. Sometimes one can forget that there's a world beyond the gate, being so caught up in the running of things..."
"Still I got to admit I probably wouldn't mind working on your Vineyard on a more permanent basis," the big gray pony observed.
"What about your government job, Stormfront?" Grapes asked. "You're about recovered, after all..."
"Well my job is great and all but to be honest... I don't get called to do stuff that often. I work hard when they call me in but sometimes it feels like they're just keeping me on retainer. Hm. I think if I talk it over with my superior, maybe they'd adjust things so I'd be a part-timer. Only paying me for the time I'm actually needed and the rest of the time I could work here," Stormfront replied thoughtfully.
"Okay, I guess," Grapes mused. "Got to wonder, though, why did you choose to work here out of curiosity?"
"Luck of the draw I guess... The doc who patched me up suggested the thicker air down here would be good for my recovery. After spending some of my savings on just doing the tourist thing on the back of a haycart I finally got restless enough to want to DO something. By that point I was in Ponyville so I checked out the big board and Bang... Here I am. The other option was me working at the bakery and well... My baking skills border on masonry," the big gray pony uttered, looking a touch sheepish.
"Never mind Pinkie Pie would have probably driven you absolutely crazy by the end of your first day," Grapes said chuckling imagining brick-like muffins.
"Oh yes... Nice Filly but not sure she's all there."
"Knows how to throw one heck of a party though," the brown unicorn observed chuckling. "Anyway, I've monopolized enough of your time. Keep up the good work, Stormfront."
"Thank you, Miss Grapes. It's nice to know you actually know the names of your workers. Too many employers don't care unless they're really ticked off at them," Stormfront said, as she trotted away. She nodded to him, a slight smile on her face, as she continued on with her supervisory duties.
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Later that evening, after all the work had been done, ponies paid, and dinner for the workers set out, Grapes entered her home and smelt the wonderful flavor of her mother making home-made truffle chocolates. Entering the kitchen there she was ladling the thick warm molten chocolate into molds where they would harden. Her father was at the other end of the table checking his accounting.
"Hey, raisenett, how was your day?" Champ asked, laying down his pencil and smiling at Grapes, warmly.
"Went well enough. Had a nice chat with Stormfront about maybe signing on full time," the younger Grapes replied.
"Stormfront? Oh yes, that really nice pony with the blanket and nice smile." Champagne Diamond recalled as she finished with the chocolates and set them into the icebox to cool. "I like that one. So well mannered and yet it comes across as natural. Were I a decade younger and unmarried..."
"Oh Cham... You tease too much." Champagne Grapes chortled.
"You're the one who said 'buck tradition, I'm marrying who I love', Mother mine," Grapes chuckled. "Glad you did, else I wouldn't be here," she added nuzzling Cham.
"Oh yes. Your father was SUCH a gallant galloper in his youth. Of course I was far less frumpy then than I am now," Cham said a far-away look in her eyes.
"Oh darling you KNOW you're not Frumpy. You're still as gorgeous and graceful as you were on that dance floor," Champ said, gazing at his mate lovingly.
"See? Such the charmer."
Grapes chuckled, going to nuzzle her father in turn. "I'm going to head to bed. It's been a long day." She was about to leave when the chocolate-coated bowl wafted under her nose, thanks to unicorn magic.
"Are you certain Grapesy? Are you SURE you do not wish to help your dear mother clean the bowl?" Cham asked enticingly.
"Oh... Temptress. You've got me," Grapes laughed.
"So have you learned anything new about your young friend or have you against all logic taken my advice to leave his past be?" Champ queried, as Grapes delicately licked the chocolate from the big copper bowl.
"Aside from his being from Mainland, recovering from an on-the-job injury, and taking up farm work to keep from being mad with boredom... Nothing really. And he volunteered that information. Gave us something to talk about," Grapes replied.
"Oh yes. Lovely town... The Diamonds have some property there. Just a small manse where one can get away from the hustle and bustle of the city without losing ALL the comforts," Cham sighed with a little nostalgia and giggled. "Mother and Father seldom used it, but they allowed my brother to summer there. I should write him a letter and see how things are going this year."
"Uncle Cabochon was never as bad as Grandmother Pave," Grapes observed.
"Yes, Let that be a lesson that good memories together can help one keep strong relations in hard times, my sweet. Healthy relations... That reminds me, how many workers are we down to this month?" Cham asked, looking over at Champ.
"We lost four, so far. Fortunately Grapes got the slackers early," Her father agreed making the final touches to the accounts.
"All right, I've licked the bowl. Goodnight Mom. Goodnight Dad."
"Good night, Grapes. Sweet Dreams." her mother called, as she started to head to her room.
"Try to not dream of that Stormfront colt TOO much, eh salt-lick?" Her father added, chuckling.
"Father!"
"I'm just sayin'..." Champ uttered, innocently.
"Oh leave the girl be," Cham said play-swatting her mate.
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In the wee hours of the morning, Grapes found herself unable to sleep. She lamented that she no longer had the robust stomach all foals had where they could eat their weight in sweets without repercussion. Now it was all she could do to try to ignore the gurgling and occasional... strange dream. But Cham's chocolate was so GOOD... Grapes sighed, heaving herself up off the bed, and decided to see if she could walk some of the delectable sweet off. Grapes clopped around outside, sighing at her ill advised decision. The warm day was giving way to a stiff cool breeze from the east that gave some relief to her condition. All she needed now was some fizzy water and she would probably be able to shake the touch of indigestion she was suffering. Still... there was nothing like a cool drought of ordinary water for cleansing the stomach. The water trough was sitting there next to the pump full of clean cold water... beckoning. She thunked over to the trough, trying to be as quiet as she could, and drank a bit, sighing in relief. Between the water and the air she felt refreshed. Not a hundred percent but still refreshed.
She then noticed a movement from the bunkhouse. The door had opened and a figure stepped out and shut it quietly. She recognized the horse blanket if not the Pony's distinctive coat and mane. Stormfront was no doubt stepping out for a midnight constitutional... But he glanced to the left then the right before trotting off in the wrong direction for the outhouse. Grapes raised an eyebrow, and trotted, quietly after, curiosity inflamed. It always amazed her how quiet he was when he walked, somepony that sturdily built should clip-clop but she swore he could probably walk on a cloud. Still it was easy to follow him, even though the small forest behind her property and to the clearing she loved to frolic in as a filly. It was a gorgeous night and his gray coat looked nearly white under the light of Luna's handiwork. He stepped to the middle of the clearing and stood there a moment, the grass around him rustling as the wind tickled it. He then turned his head back and tugged at the belt that held his blanket on... Grapes held her breath as she realized she had never seen his flanks before and this act was somehow... exciting because of it. But as the blanket tumbled off his back she was completely unprepared for what was revealed.
Wings. Stormfront was a pegasus. Now the name, and that unusual Cutie Mark, made sense.
It must have been uncomfortable for him to keep them lashed down and work but still.... then she saw him slowly unfurl his wings. Stretching them out wide she could hear a few joints popping as he gave them a shake to fluff out the compacted feathers. He had BIG wings... She had seen photos of Celestia in the paper and this... This was like seeing her wingspan on a regular pony. They looked positively huge, and now he was... closing his eyes and leaning into the wind. It was such a strange thing to see, him there letting the wind pass over and under his great light gray wings... It looked almost as if he were flying without so much as lifting a hoof. His wings shifted subtly and she could almost imagine him gliding gracefully across the surface of the clouds... no... not even gliding... SOARING. A wingspan like that would have him moving like part of the wind itself. Whatever job he had was probably important... and probably connected to him flying. Grapes knew why he was here. Stormfront told her. However she could not imagine him being truly happy, stuck on the ground. She never thought much of pegasi before... Not that her opinion of them was LOW or something but rather they were 'Up there' somewhere and so out of sight out of mind. This young stallion was here and now, and so first and foremost in her thoughts.
"Something must have happened... That's the only explanation," Grapes mused as she went back to bed, with a sigh. "Just don't know what. Oh well."
The next morning Grapes felt awake and refreshed. A miracle when she considered the bout of indigestion and the *COUGH* feathery dreams she had after seeing her farmhoof in the moonlight. She would have almost believed it a dream itself if she didn't find the feather out in the clearing. Large enough to use as a quill and the same shade as his coat. She picked it up, smiling, deciding to keep it. A quill always came in handy. The farmhooves were out of the bunkhouse by this time. One or two who had spent their bits in town were dunking their whole heads into the trough to shake off the repercussions of a wild night. Sour Grapes tried not to think 'serves you right' and set about getting everypony's tasks for today settled before the light breakfast was served. She did notice Stormy's expression when he noticed the 'quill' behind her ear. Not so much fear as... shock.
"It's a nice feather I found in the field," Grapes explained, using said feather as a quill. "It's a lovely color, and in fine shape. Seemed like a waste to just throw it away."
"I... see," Stormfront said a little cautiously. "It is a very nice color... Looks like it would match MY coat. So, Miss Grapes, what can I do for you today?"
"Seems like we're harvesting the Bordeaux grapes, today, Stormfront. I've already gone through and gotten the sour ones, so it should be easy enough for you and the others. I'll be coming around to check on the progress, for today, and make sure you all get your water breaks and lunch," Grapes replied in a business-like tone.
"Uhm... yes. thank you Miss Grapes," the large gray pony said with a nod.
She heard one of the ponies in the group mumble "Apple Polisher," only for another to snigger and correct him "GRAPE Polisher."
"WHAT was that?" Grapes said to the sniggerers, in a very dangerous tone of voice; clip-clopping over to them, eyes flinty, but smiling with deceptive sweetness. There was an immediate shuffling of hooves and attempts at boy-like innocence that failed on their faces. She could tell it was Thistledown that said it, the way he couldn't keep from nervously grinning and desperately trying not to look her in the eye or he'd break down laughing. The Green pony peeked out from under his POOF-like mane of purple hair and nearly lost it there. "Congratulations, Thistledown. Guess who just got himself Outhouse duty."
Thistledown's smile faded quickly as he stared at her. "Oh fewmets."
"Then you're in picking room, de-seeding room, and inspection room," Grapes added sternly. "That may, but I have my serious doubts, teach you the value of being polite."
His head sank low, his neck drooping his head well below his shoulders before he mumbled: "Yes Sour Grapes."
"Very good. Move along, then. You've got valuable compost to gather. Any OTHER smartyponies have a comment, or complaint? You could all benefit from learning courtesy, and try and make it the common occurrence it once was, instead of being rude little foals," Grapes uttered, sternly. With the disposition of a pony sent to the glue factory Thistledown walked over to the well-used Fewmets shovel, stared at it a moment and then took the handle in his mouth and dragged it to the Outhouses where his unpleasant task awaited.
The other ponies stared at him then shook their heads and gave her various forms of: "Yes Ma'am"
"Very good. Bordeaux grapes. Start now, and be efficient. You're being paid by weight, not by the hour. Thistledown IS being paid by the hour, because I'm not putting compost on the grape scale. However, he is only getting half rate. Let that be a lesson for you all. Punishment detail means harder, more disgusting work, but fewer bits," Grapes said, crisply. It was gratifying to see that 'First Day' scuffle back in their legs again as they all were reminded who was in charge. She had to admit the 'Grape Polisher' remark was clever, but not really welcome. Even Stormy had a little 'panic' in his trot. It was gratifying to see she could make even him kick up his hooves. But then, sometimes one had to reassert one's authority. And the comment was, to be honest, rather rude, and insubordinate.
She gave everypony some time to fall into their work routines, checking up on the various projects on the Vineyard before visiting her Father as he was overseeing the finishing touches on the barn. "Ah. Hello there. How are things with the farmhooves going today?"
"Fairly well. I had to put one on punishment detail for being insubordinate," Grapes said, looking over the barn, smiling at how well the project had come along.
"Good to get that as soon as they crop up. It's one thing for youthful high spirits but quite another if your authority is being undermined. I hope it wasn't anything too out of line," Champ observed.
"Not much. Just the use of the term 'Grape polisher' in reference to Stormfront. It was rude to both me and to him. I'm TRYING not to show favoritism, but honestly he's the best worker we've had this season," Grapes replied with a sigh, shaking her head. "And we could do with more the ever uncommon 'common courtesy'."
"I've been keeping track of your tallies and while Mister Stormfront may not be the fastest but he definitely is the most steady worker I've seen in four seasons. I wish I could bottle work-ethic like that. Make a fortune."
"I'd definitely inject it into those others, or feed it to them in their oats," Grapes uttered jokingly.
"Yes. Your mother noticed a few slinking home from town this morning. Ah to be young and foolish again..."
"Bunch of spendthrift idiots, the lot of 'em. Hopefully Thistledown will be learning the value of thrift, being on half pay punishment detail, today," Grapes observed gruffly.
"Thistledown? The Poofy-maned one? What Am I not surprised?" Champ laughed, shaking his head in obvious amusement.
"A little too much spirit and not enough brain... I think the mane's an indication of the mind beneath, perhaps?"
"Ah well. When I was young I spent many a day mouthing the Shovel for my sins. So did you if memory serves me well."
"You were wilder than I appear to be," Sour Grapes mused thoughtfully. "But I tended to learn my lesson quickly."
Sour Grapes went back to the grape frames, checking on the farmhooves' work, making sure they take their water breaks, and after a bit of walking to make sure that the approach was casual she reached Stormfront. He was, again, balancing on his hind legs, stretching his neck out to nip a particularly high-growing bunch of grapes. Once again, his blanket had shifted, displaying that storm cloud being hugged by a pair of wings on his flank. This time, Grapes decided to comment.
"That's an interesting cutie mark."
She saw him stiffen in mid-pick. The bundle of grapes in between his teeth as he became aware of her looking at his flank and the unique icon upon it. "Uh... yeah. I'm... kinda attached to it myself," he said through his teeth as he slowly lowered himself back to the ground to drop the fruit into the basket.
"It goes with the wings, I saw last night," She observed, quietly.
He was quiet as he reached up to pluck another batch of grapes down before speaking. "Saw that, huh?"
"Yes I did. I can hypothesize all I want about why you stand out in a field, pretending to fly all I want, but that doesn't answer the question about why DON'T you fly instead of just pretending."
He continued picking grapes as she talked before glancing about at where the other farmhooves were before sitting down next to her. "Okay... I suppose you deserve the whole truth instead of just the pieces I gave to you. I want you to know I never lied to you. I have too much respect for you to ever do that. I just never told you ALL the truth."
"I figured that out, myself. The information you gave me sounded very plausible," Grapes said with a nod, and looked at the large gray stallion sitting beside her. "Still, better part of the truth than a whole lie."
"Okay... Where I live and my government job were all true. I work with a small group of Pegasai that do very specialized weather work. Now pegasi are renowned for things like our weather-making factory and in general controlling the weather. That's common knowledge. Heck your dad probably pays a dividend to the Cloudsdale weather regulation board to ensure that there's no rain on certain days. Am I right?" Stormy explained, gazing at Grapes in earnest, obviously trying to be sure that the brown unicorn believed him.
"Or just simply regularly scheduled showers to keep the grapes hydrated," Grapes observed, then smirked a bit. "There's one scheduled for tomorrow, as a matter of fact... Our poor party ponies are going to get a rude early awakening."
"Exactly! In fact sometimes they allow storms, which are occasionally needed to help shake things up a little. You know, kick dead-fall out of trees and stuff, but sometimes these get out of control. Sometimes two storms bump into one another making a big one... Or maybe a WILD storm comes in from an area where they just occur without Pony-intervention for example, the Everfree Forest. Now while pegasi can usually handle the small stuff without sweating, but these rogue storms can really do some damage. Especially if the pegasai aren't very clear on what they're dealing with. It's a highly specialized kind of work that needs ponies with a very particular mindset and talents... This is where the Storm Riders come in," Stormfront espoused, gesturing with his hooves occasionally.
"I see. You were one of the Storm Riders... I can see where you'd do well in that work. You've got wings like an albatross," the filly observed wryly.
Stormfront blushed and smiled shyly. "Why thank you. It's what allows me to be the, well, workhorse of the team. We all have specializations to different kinds of storms. Desert, ocean, mainland... You name it. Members like me might go out scouting for talent but Weathervain is the one who makes the final decisions. I felt proud when she gave me the nod of approval. We aren't always needed, with as many pegasi as there are out there it's only occasionally that you need the Storm Riders... Which explains why most ponies haven't heard of us, but when something like a tornado rears it's head... We're there to help out. We know you can't just BULLY a rogue storm, you need to look at it and coax it to be... less rogue, or nudge it off a more destructive course."
"Something happened with a tornado, I take it?" Grapes said, shrewdly.
"Yeah. Weathervain's instruments suggested we might be looking at one forming so we were sent to make certain is wasn't gonna cause too much damage... It was bigger than we thought. It's never easy to wrangle a tornado but we've done it... All we had to do was keep it from hitting any major population centers, like Ponyville. We went in, and did our job. All they probably felt was the outer storm, maybe enough to knock some branches out of their trees. Unfortunately the funnel moved in an unexpected way and started pulling in Earshot. He didn't have enough experience to get out on his own so... I volunteered to go in after him. Heck I got the wings needed to buck that twister, I was the best choice, and I got him out. I just... didn't see that the storm had picked up a hay-cart along the way," Stormy uttered, obviously reliving the memory.
"So you got knocked for a loop, and was sucked into the vortex. Probably dislocated your wings, and strained the flight muscles of your chest and back, along with other injuries," the brown unicorn mused, obviously showing the wide range of reading material she devoured in the winter months.
"It was like being in one of those big concrete mixer barrels, rocks and all. I had never been really CAUGHT in one before. Sometimes I got to see the eye of the storm, you know, where everything is perfectly calm... This was a nightmare. I can't even begin to tell you how TERRIFIED I was," Stormfront uttered, shuddering.
"So it left you with a fear of flying," Grapes observed, rather bluntly. "You, with the wings of an albatross, afraid to spread them, and take to the sky on a CLEAR day."
"Yeah. I awoke in a hospital a few days later, doctors telling me that I would recover fully and 'Be flying in no-time'... and that made my blood run cold. Twister may not have plucked me bald but up here..." he said tapping his head "Something got rattled badly."
"Hm. Got the wings but you're too scared to use them. It's a waste, to be honest. I'd think you'd only be afraid of storms, not flying. You'd lose your place in the Storm Riders, but you'd still have the sky. But fear's never logical, and while you may be a cowardly pegasus, you're a first rate farmhoof."
"Hard work has never scared me." he admitted. She saw movement under the blanket as his wings flexed. "Torn muscles and contusions have healed, and I've done the exercises the doctor recommended so they're strong enough... It's just every time I go to actually take off I'm back in the funnel again. I want to fly so bad I can taste the Stratosphere.... I just... I'm stupid aren't I?"
"Depends on your definition. I wouldn't call it stupid. Just irrational. Fear is irrational, but a rational pony can overcome it. Look around. Not a cloud in the sky, and the air is calm. Not likely for a tornado to come jumping out from behind the woods, there, now is there?" She saw him cautiously looking up beyond the safety of the Vineyard that had become his home and workplace. He had built a nice place for himself here on the level of the earth ponies, and now his vision of safety was slowly expanding once more. "Never mind you're bound to be more comfortable without having to wear that blanket," Grapes added, casually. "But if you still scared, we can always see if a mage could find a way to turn you into an earth pony. Maybe give the wings to somepony who could use them." She saw him stiffen a little, his mane bristling at the thought. She found a nerve, some streak of pride that really didn't like that idea at all. "So. What are you going to do?"
Stormfront looked at her, a moment, then up at the clear blue sky. He stared at it like a thirsty man looking at a glass of water right in front of him. Then he slowly rose to his feet, and half-turning his teeth found his buckle, undoing it. The belt clattered heavily to the ground followed by the horse blanket. His gray coat looked much whiter under Celestia's rays and those wings of his looked nothing less than magnificent as they unfolded and shook the kinks free. His eyes closed and he took a few deep breaths before opening them and with a leap flapped his wings downward with enough force to kick up a cloud of dust and dirt in her eyes. By the time Grapes had cleared them she saw him in the air above the Vineyard, going higher and higher. The other workers had stopped to stare, jaws dropped in total disbelief that the guy who made them look bad wasn't even an Earth Pony.
"Oh BLOODY fewmets," Sour Grapes griped, then began to pick the grapes herself. "Oh well. That's what I get." It wasn't that she WASN'T happy for him. He was just so nice and he deserved a happy ending of some kind. She just wished she had waited until maybe, oh, AFTER harvest season before giving her best worker back his wings. Now she was stuck with the usual batch of clowns. She picked the grapes in silence for a few minutes, cursing herself when she heard a gentle flutter behind her and a slight breeze.
A familiar pony shape was cast over her shoulder and she heard Stormfront's warm voice: "Thanks for covering for me while on my break Miss Grapes. I think I can finish up." Grapes scrambled out of his way, obviously quite startled that he'd returned.
"Oh... Sure. No problem."
Stormfront smiled at her (those nice teeth again) and chuckled. "What? You thought I was going to just up and fly off leaving you in my dust? Especially after being officially put on the long-term payroll by your father? Sorry Miss Grapes... you're stuck with me until at LEAST the end of the season."
Grapes breathed a sigh of relief. "Well... One could never tell. Most pegasai are so... flighty."
"Hey, I'd never leave anypony I consider a friend, in the lurch. That reminds me. I better contact the Storm-Riders. I haven't sent them any letters since I told them I needed some personal time to recover from my injuries." Grapes nodded, then screeched to a halt, a perturbed look on her face. She then spun around and stared at Stormfront.
"You consider ME
"Well... Yes. You're certainly not my enemy. You've been fair and never pressured me despite your suspicions. You probably could have let me continue to go on just working the Vineyard but instead you encouraged me to face my problem, even you did it by appealing to my... well... Pegasi Pride. If that's not friendship then maybe it needs to be redefined." She tilted her head.
"Huh... Never thought about it that way. I've never really had a friend, before," Grapes mused.
"Really? Well if it's all right with you I'd like to be the first," Stormfront said with a smile.
"Thank you," Grapes uttered, still sounding surprised. "Uhm... I should get back to work. Excuse me."
"Of course," he said before turning back to the task at hand. Grapes went to check on the others, giving them a bit of rare praise, before checking on the hapless Thistledown.
"I'm afraid you're not going to have the bits to take a night on the town, Thistle," Grapes said honestly. "But you're doing good work, here. When you get our mind out of the clouds and/or gutter, you do very well."
"Yes, Miss Grapes," Thistledown responded around the handle of the shovel. He had been doing hard work shoveling the leavings into the compost wagon. No doubt mostly from fear of being fired, or being kicked and/or horn-poked to death by an angry filly.
"If you've checked the weather schedule, you may discover that you not going into town, tonight, may not be such a bad thing," Grapes added. "Perhaps a touch of schadenfreude for you, tomorrow morning. Keep up the good work." The day went normally enough. Grapes made sure that Thistledown worked out the kinks, and stretch out his muscles, before dinner. "Trust me. You want to do this, unless you want to be stiff and miserable, tomorrow." All of the ponies were apparently feeling fairly good, despite the scare earlier they got a lot of work done and no doubt would enjoy their bits on the weekend. She noticed Stormfront heading into the bunkhouse right after weigh-in.
Sour Grapes sighed, and headed to the bunkhouse kitchen, to fix something a little bit different for dinner. The unicorn filly then went around to the rooms, knocking to call everypony to dinner. She hadn't quite realized how few ponies were left from the original batch. The expression 'best of a bad lot' came to mind, perhaps a little unfairly, but still there it was. She knocked on Stormfront's door and it swung open easily revealing something she never thought she'd see in her life. There was Stormfront, bent slightly around nuzzling and nibbling at his wings like she had seen ducks doing down at the pond. It was so... ludicrous and cute to see a full-grown pegasi ... PREENING like that. Grapes stepped away from his room, and had to crouch to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. It made sense that he would preen. Just about everything that had feathers had to do so, but to see a Stormy doing it made him look so... CUTE! Something that just stood out from his strong build and nearly regal wings. She risked another glance and he was working the other wing over. No doubt it had been driving him crazy to keep them lashed down all this time and he was making up for lost time. She finally regained control of herself, and knocked on his door.
He was still bent at an awkward angle, peeking up over his own torso to look at her. "Oh Grapes! Hi. What brings you to my door?"
"Dinner," Grapes replied, still smiling a bit at the vision of preening she'd seen.
"Oh great," Stormy chirped before burying his nose into his wing again. "Be right there in a minute. Just... some feathers refuse to cooperate. It's like bed-mane, you know?"
"Need a hoof?" Grapes asked, trying to be helpful,though she didn't really know what she could do.
"Nah I'm good... I can't tell you how good it feels to stop, well, hiding these things. I'm not sure I really was hiding them from you or the others but really," Stormfront gave them a firm shake, causing a stiff breeze to surge into the hallway. "Well keeping them hidden from me. I think I wanted to forget I was a Pegasus for a while."
"Ah. Well you'll be more comfortable, at least," Grapes mused, as she watched the gray pony settle his feathers.
"Oh DEFINITELY!" he laughed folding his wings against his flanks and trotting merrily over to her. "What's for dinner tonight?"
"Barley stew."
"Nice! Just like mom used to make," Stormy said obviously happy at the prospect, as they made their way to the more common area of the bunkhouse.
"Hope you all like it... Looks like some of the others have already snuck out... We've got Thistledown here, though, for a change," Grapes said sounding a touch annoyed with the wayward farmhooves.
"That should be interesting..." he paused and giggled "that was a rude thing he said but still... kinda funny. I never would have thought to apply the concept to the fruit we were picking."
"It's a variation of 'apple polisher'. Another way of saying brown-muzzler."
"I know what he meant. But that doesn't mean it wasn't clever. If he only would use his talent for good instead of mischief," Stormfront said with a shrug. "Hopefully you helped him to realize having a smart mouth doesn't mean you have to open it all the time."
"I hope so. But he may get the last laugh. We've got rain scheduled, tomorrow afternoon, so we have to get up early," Grapes mused, chuckling, herself, at the eventual misfortune of her workers.
"Good thing I was preening then. It helps waterproof my plumage," the pegasus said sagely.
"We'll have to stop anyway. Vines are slippery, and it gets muddy," Grapes explained. "Not that I'm above getting my hooves dirty, but it's still a safety hazard. Never mind the health concerns."
"I doubt many of the crew brought rainwear with them," Stormy observed wryly.
"Nope. That shortsightedness is often a problem."
"I don't really need a rain coat. Most pegasi when properly groomed are waterproof. We may need one for flying through rain and clouds, but I bought a rain coat just to get into the spirit of, well, looking like an Earth Pony," Stormy said, grinning sheepishly.
"I can appreciate you're getting into the spirit of things," Grapes chuckled.
"Do you have any writing materials? I got a few letters I have to write, after dinner," Stormfront asked.
"Of course," Grapes replied.
===================================================
Long after dinner, and after the house, and bunkhouse had settled, Grapes was sitting in her room, thinking over the events of the day. She, Sour Grapes, one of the most asocial ponies in Ponyville, had somepony who called her a 'friend'. She felt it was a momentous occasion, but didn't know quite how to commemorate it. Then she remembered something that Applejack had told her about. Twilight Sparkle was often writing to Princess Celestia about her adventures in Ponyville, and the lessons she learned from them. "Friendship Reports," Applejack called them. Grapes chuckled, pulling out a piece of parchment, and an ordinary envelope. She sat at her desk, after settling her stationary, so she could write. Grapes then dipped her Stormy-feather quill into the ink, carefully filled out the address, and return address, then began to write the letter itself.
"Dear Princess Celestia..."
View Online
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Applebucking Problems and Scholarly Advised Solutions
Sour Grapes was grateful for the weekend, as she trotted to Ponyville in good spirits, humming an Istalliobrothers tune to herself, actually hopping on the “jump jump jump jump” bit. She, briefly, wondered if having an ‘official’ friend was the reason for her mood, or just that it was a fine sunny day. Grapes made her way to the Pony Express office to mail her letter, and to check on the eventual delivery of a very special package. That was probably when things started on their roller coaster ride between the highs and lows.
"I... I'm so sorry Miss Grapes but while in transport it... kinda got... dropped off at the wrong location... from a high distance up..." the Post Stallion uttered looking very embarrassed about the whole situation.
"Please... tell me that it didn't hurt anypony..." Grapes groaned.
"All right I won't... but I doubt the Flower pot... the Anvil... and the Hay Cart helped matters much either," the stallion uttered, looking quite pained to be honest.
"... It did, didn't it..." Grapes uttered, deadpan, her ears going back in annoyance at Mister Literal behind the counter. She then rubbed her temples.
"Fortunately Miss Sparkle is a fast healer and we were able to settle out of court," the Pony Express clerk said with a smile. "And as you took out Delivery Insurance on your Piano we are reimbursing you for the cost of both shipping and the piano itself." Sour Grapes simply looked in horror at how blase the clerk could possibly be about all this.
"... Your entire shipment fell on TWILIGHT SPARKLE ?! INCLUDING the piano I ordered? Great flaming fewmets..." the brown unicorn uttered, double-facehoofing herself.
"The Delivery Pony helping out accidentally tilted the whole shipment at the wrong time... First day on the job too," the clerk explained. "We're very sorry for this and we'll even deliver the next Piano for free... by land if you feel a little sky shy at the moment."
"Buck YEAH I'm feeling sky shy! That blasted piano could have KILLED that poor unicorn! Just... get it here by next week, would you? I've got to go and apologize to Twilight..." Grapes uttered, not knowing why she should apologize to the studious purple unicorn, but still felt somewhat responsible because of her decision to ship her mother's anniversary gift via air freight.
"Yes Ma'am. we'll have it here inside of seven days," the clerk said saluting her.
"Thanks," Grapes said, sounding tired, and left the post office. Then something strange happened. She could have sworn that she heard clopping hooves, building in the background along with... singing.
"You spin me inside outside / Boy, you hold me so tight/ We'll dance and party all night/ Mambo mambo ley. So kiss me in the moonlight/ You know that always feels right/ We'll dance and party all night..." the random background voices sang, then Pinkie Pie popped up beside Grapes, startling the hapless unicorn, singing: "Mambo mambo ley!" Pinkie then grabbed Grapes just as the song segued into an instrumental bit, spinning her around a couple of times, before Grapes dug her hooves into the ground.
"So you wanna dance, huh?" Grapes asked, grinning impishly.
"He he he he! YEAH!" Pinkie yelled excitedly.
"Okay. I'll lead," Grapes asserted with an air of 'Challenge Accepted', then just as the song picked up speed, again, she pulled the pink earth pony into a very credible Mambo. The ponies in the square had to stop and watch them, drawn by both the music, and the dancers, themselves.
"Somepony's cutting in!" Pinkie announced.
"Wait.. what?" Grapes uttered, being pulled out of her groove, to find herself looking at a very flustered Rarity. "Just when I thought it couldn't get any more random..."
Rarity hooked her elbow into hers and the two spun in a small circle as she gave Grapes a shy smile. "I am SO sorry... but sometimes one cannot help themselves when Pinkie Pie starts one of these... er... musical interludes."
"At least you know I won't step on your hooves," Grapes said with a laugh, spinning the white unicorn into the very same dance she had been doing with Pinkie, moments before.
Rarity obliged, a little uncertain of the dance but picking it up quickly. "I have a strong suspicion that it's her link to her Element of Harmony that seems to make these moments so... big-scale." Off to the side they could see Pinkie Pie doing something of a group dance with another white unicorn with a blue-streaked mane and sunglasses, and a black-maned gray earth pony wearing a bow tie. All three were behind a turntable deck, which was the apparent source of the music. Grapes wasn't entirely certain if Pinkie Pie kept musically inclined ponies on retainer, or if they just happened to be in the area they were when she needed them. Truth be told, Grapes loved to dance, but usually was too self conscious to do so under normal circumstances. Fortunately the presence of Pinkie Pie had a way of making you feel a LOT less conspicuous.
"I wouldn't know about that, but I do know it's cheered me up," Grapes chuckled. "You dance better than Pinkie, I have to admit," she added, dipping the fashonista, before pulling her into a spin, and continuing the lively Mambo-like dance.
"I'm NOT wearing this!" came a very incised accented voice, causing both mares to look toward the turntable. The gray mare was holding a gaudy black VERY broad-brimmed sequined hat.
"Aw, c'MON, Octy," the blue-maned unicorn pleaded, wearing her own hat jauntily. "You were having fun a moment ago." You could almost see the rage building in the gray earth pony.
"Vinyl! I am NOT nor will I ever BE a member of a Mare-i-achi band!" she uttered. "Please leave me SOME dignity!"
The song wound down, and many of the spectators were clopping along with the music, content to watch Grapes and Rarity show off their moves. When it ended, Grapes bowed to Rarity, still quite amused by the whole sequence.
"Where did you learn to dance, like that?" Rarity asked, sounding rather impressed.
"Self-taught, mostly," the brown unicorn said blushing, and scratching the back of her head with her hoof. "I don't usually show off like that."
"Sometimes it helps to have a Pinkie Pie moment and just enjoy yourself," Rarity confessed. "Normally I prefer my dances to be more refined, but I did enjoy myself greatly."
"And your pedicure is still intact," Grapes joked with obvious self depreciation.
"Oh fancy that," Rarity said checking her hooves. "I'm feeling rather good now. A nice change from earlier, when I was quite beside myself when I found out that my Spa treatment was canceled due to them having to some structural repairs," she added smiling at Grapes.
"Huh. That makes two of us who were a bit down. Guess that's why Pinkie started all this," Grapes said, gesturing to indicate the impromptu dance party. "I was upset because my mother's anniversary gift was destroyed in transit, and may have caused Twilight Sparkle severe cranial trauma. The important lesson is never send a piano by air freight."
Rarity smiled and tittered. "Poor Twilight. A good thing she has brains to spare."
"Still, on the good side, I did think to take out shipping insurance on the piano, so it'll be replaced, and Mom will be able to play her music, instead of having to rely on my phonograph," Grapes mused. "Still I feel I should apologize to Twilight."
"Seeing as it was your piano, that would be proper. But I suspect she will accept your apology very easily," Rarity said thoughtfully.
"Well since I'm here," Grapes said, clip-clopping to the library. "I'm surprised she didn't get curious about the music."
"Well I HAVE noticed she gets quite absorbed in her work. I suppose we all have that.. 'ZONE' where what you enjoy most literally insulates you to the outside world." Grapes nodded in understanding, and knocked on the Library door.
The door creaked open and at first Grapes thought it might be Ponykinesis... then she looked down. "Hi Rarity! What brings you here?" Spike uttered, grinning at the purple-maned unicorn, obviously eager to please.
"Hello Spike. Is Twilight in? Miss Sour Grapes, here, would like a word with her," Rarity said, smiling at the little dragon.
"Oh sure. She's just organizing her schedule for this week."
"Oh... kaaay... I know I keep MY schedule organized, because I've got workers," Grapes mused, as she followed the dragon into the very literal tree house.
"Oh this is quit normal for Twilight," the white pony said before whispering quietly to her. "She's a little fussy about organization. The poor dear had NO social life before coming here and is still learning life doesn't always keep to a schedule."
"Wow, she IS more uptight than I am," Grapes said, reiterating her original observation, chuckling. She then lifted her right hoof. "But I am doing BETTER! I've got my cousin, AJ to keep me from being a total recluse, stuck in the world of the Vineyard, and I've made my first official friend."
They entered the main Gallery of the Library where Twilight was busy at a podium, scribbling away in a ledger while various books, charts and calendars rotated about her as needed. It was astonishing to see. Grapes had seen Rarity doing similar things in her shop but they were nothing compared to the multitasking going on here. It was a big reminder to Grapes that there was no doubt a reason Twilight Sparkle was Princess Celestia's personal pupil and her representative in Ponyville. "Spike? I can't seem to find that copy of 'Spectrum Sorceries: a Beginners Guide to a World of Color.' Where is it? I promised to help Rarity create indigo colored Fabric Dye."
"I left it on the podium, Twilight. I think you put your schedule book on top of it," Spike replied.
She moved the ledger and giggled. "Thanks Spike. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Well learning to answer the door might be on your list of things to learn. You have visitors."
Twilight glanced up and turned around to see Grapes and Rarity standing there. "Oh... Sorry I didn't hear you there. I just... well... you can see."
"I'd make a joke about the piano, but I'm here to apologize for sending it air freight in the first place," Grapes said drolly.
"Oh that was YOUR piano?" Twilight asked, rubbing her head at the memory of impact. "Ah yes... I can see why you came to apologize. Well... I accept. You couldn't possibly have seen that happening. I sure didn't... I was in the middle of a field when... things began falling out of the sky."
"... You weren't close to Pinkie Pie, were you?" Grapes asked, tilting her head. "That filly's a magnet for odd occurrences."
"I was... observing her... from what I THOUGHT was a safe distance," Twilight groused.
"Honestly, I would think if you've got visual contact, you're still within the zone of influence," Grapes observed in her usual droll manner. The brown unicorn was watching the various implements that Twilight had levitated around her desk just... stay there, levitating where Twilight had put then. Grapes was quietly amazed at the sheer power this one unicorn possessed.
"I've noticed that... But I think strangely enough the closer I am to her, the safer I am. I just have to accept that... she has these strange incomprehensible qualities that defy pony logic," Twilight observed.
"She also has this uncanny ability to know when two ponies in the same general area needs to be cheered up," Grapes observed with a shrug. "Still don't know where she found those ridiculous hats."
After a little more conversation with Twilight, and Rarity, Grapes left the library to continue her in-town errands, before she went back home. Despite the piano fiasco, she was in a good mood, thanks to the Pinkie Pie moment. Even with the piano disaster, there was still some good news. Her saddlebags were full of supplies for the week, the piano was being replaced, a brief meeting with the wild-maned Vinyl had gotten her an invitation to a club opening and a permanent VIP Pass to same. So it was with a sense of accomplishment she made her way home, past Sweet Apple Acres.
As she trotted past the archway to Sweet Apple acres she caught sight of Applebloom and Big Macintosh using a rope and pulley system to lift a freshly painted sign into place while Applejack stood top of the ladder with a hammer.
"That's it. Keep 'er steady." Grapes paused to watch the action, keeping quiet, as to not break their concentration. Applejack was good, pounding the nails in just the right places to hold the sign up in no time. Only when she was satisfied did she come down the ladder and her helpers let the rope go slack. "Good work, ponies. Let's go get ourselves some apple juice." She then noticed Grapes and smiled. "Ah, you go on ahead. Hey Sour. Jus' back from town?"
"Eeyup," Grapes said, with a slight smirk. "You finally catch up on all that sleep you lost, this past week?"
"Oh MERCY, it felt so good to sleep in for the first time in mah life. Ah can see how Dash can enjoy her nap time so much," Applejack said fervently.
"Good. I'm probably going to need some help at the Vineyard... Most of my workers are out, thanks to a bad batch of muffins, they had a couple of days ago," Grapes said making a face. "And I've never heard about Pinkie making a bad batch of ANYTHING."
"Uh... yeah... well... that wasn't totally her fault. Ah kinda got mixed up when she was readin' off the instructions. If what Ah remember going in there was real then no wonder everypony who had one got sick," Applejack replied looking quite embarrassed.
"Had yet another case of fool's pride? You know, you really need to watch that. It's going to get you into real trouble, one of these days."
"It already did. Ah thought Ah could handle it all... Ah honestly did. Ah jus' couldn' say no to mah friends."
"Never mind you're one stubborn mule of a pony," Grapes asserted. "Especially when you think you've been given a challenge."
"All right All right. Lesson learned, letter written, an' dragon fired to Celestia. Can we please move on?" Applejack griped, giving Grapes a mild glare.
"Okay, dear cousin, I won't bring it up any more... There a multitude of other things I can tease you about," Grapes said with a slight grin. "Don't suppose you've seen Stormfront, yet, have you?"
"Stormfront? Ya mean that farmhoof you've been ravin' about lately? Best an' brightest o' the bad lot ya got stuck with?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah, that's him. He's even gotten brave enough to call your prickly cousin a friend," Grapes replied with a lazy grin.
"Brave Fella... When's the weddin'?" the orange pony teased.
"Friends, cuz. Not engaged," Grapes uttered, deadpan. "I'm the last pony to fall head-over-hooves for somebody just because they happen to take a shine to me... If Wild Oats hadn't been hauled off by the guards for that arranged marriage of his, I'd have to have given him a right hook, buck over the fence combo." Grapes giggled as they started walking down the road to Grapevine Hills.
"Well if even half the things you've been sayin' about this pony is true then maybe you SHOULD be taking a second look. Could be a keeper."
"I've only barely made my first official friend, Applejack," Grapes said, as they reached the gate to the Vineyard. "I'm not very likely to go jumping into the idea of dating so soon after. I mean I'm still wrapping my head around somepony, other than my family, actually likes me, rather than just tolerates my presence."
"Ah fair enough. So where is this coltfriend of yours? You'd think someone gray would be kinda obvious with all the bright colors around these parts," Applejack said looking around.
"Probably can't see him for the grape frames," Grapes said. "He volunteered to put in some overtime, due to the others being stuck in the clinic. HEY! Stormy! My cousin wants to meet you!" A head popped up on top of her house, glancing down.
"Heya Grapes. Your mom asked me to fix a leak in the tiles up here. I'll be right down in a jiffy."
"Cool. We'll be down here, then. Want something to drink, Aye Jay?" Grapes asked, after waving to Stormy.
"Nothin' with a kick, please. I gotta keep a clear head today." She glanced up and gasped. "Look OUT!" The gray pony had hurtled himself off of the roof and he plummeted for a moment then his wings unfurled like a set of great sails, catching the wind and slowing his decent to ground, allowing him to touch down without hardly a sound.
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you. He's a pegasus," Grapes said, all too casually.
Her cousin gawked at the Pegasus as he fluttered his wings before folding them back up along his flanks. He then extended a hoof. "Pleased to meet you. My name is Stormfront."
"A... Applejack. Whooo... Land mercy, you're a big'un," stuttered Applejack, obviously impressed.
"Thank you. Mom says I got my wings from my dad," Stormfront replied with a slight smile.
"You get finished, up there, Stormy?" Grapes asked. "I was going to get some juice, and I thought I'd get you some, too."
"Oh Sure I can join you. I was just trying the seal out with a little rainwater. It's holding nicely," Stormy replied. Grapes nodded, and went into the house leaving Stormfront and Applejack with a very awkward silence.
"So... Yer a pegasus, huh? Funny thing you working a farm like this?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah. I know... we're usually seen as just cloud-pushers but I'm really enjoying this. Probably helps that Grapes has been a great employer."
"Well she's ornery but fair. I dunno if I'd feel as attached to her if she weren't family but she is, and cause we go way back I can put up with her tendency to be blunt as a horseshoe to the forehead," the farm pony observed, making a wry face.
"Okay, she's a little blunt in her opinions. If she wasn't, I'd still be passing myself off as an earth pony right now," Stormy replied.
"What would ya be doing that for?" Applejack asked, tilting her head.
"Hiding from myself, really. Got badly hurt and couldn't face my fears afterwards... She gave me a kick in
the rump I needed WHEN I needed it," Stormfront asserted, with a nod. Grapes, just then, came out with a tray of grape juice, and put it on the patio table.
"Here we go. Concord's finest. No comparison to Aye Jay's apple juice, but it'll do to cut the thirst."
"Thanks Sour. It's nice to switch things up a little from time to time." Applejack said, as she sipped her juice then glanced over the rim of her glass, and her eyes half-lidded as she smirked. "Strawberries."
"Strawberries?" Grapes asked, then facehoofed, with a slight groan. "Oh... Oh great flaming fewmits, you've got a dearth of strawberries, don't you?"
"Eyup. Got a good swap from Strawberry Valley, and figured you could do somethin' with a few crates," the orange pony said with a grin.
"Just when that broccoli wine should be nicely aged, now, too," Grapes mused with a sigh.
"Well now... ya actually got that broccoli to work?" Applejack asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Yes, yes I did. I had to shred the blasted things. Only got about a barrel, but yeah. Probably the only
wine that absolutely has to have cheese with it to taste good, but..."
Stormy looked on in puzzlement as the two ponies spoke. "Am... am I missing something here?"
"It's... an ongoing bet," Grapes admitted reluctantly.
"Yep. When Sour, here, was just learnin' how to make wine from her daddy she got to braggin' how good she was at it. Swore she could probably make a potent drink out of jest about ANYTHIN'. So Ah got dibs on making her prove it."
"I'm probably going to have to get into distilling, at this rate," Grapes laughed ruefully. "Maybe even brewing."
"Ya shoulda tasted her Rhubarb Wine. It was nice on a hot day, but ya always puckered with each sip," Applejack said reminiscing.
"That sold remarkably well, surprisingly enough," Grapes observed.
"Wow... Sounds like a nice hobby to have along side the tried and true wines," Stormy uttered with a grin.
"The VERY first one, she forgot an important word, when stating the bet," Grapes chortled.
"And that would be?" Stormy asked, curiously.
"'Palatable'," Grapes said with a smirk. "So Applejack ended up with an asparagus-based alcohol cleaning solution."
"Stuff's great if you need something to fill your lamps with, if you don't mind the smell of asparagus." Applejack sighed
"Thankfully it was another small batch, like the broccoli wine," Grapes added. "Strawberries should be easy, though, methinks. A lot of drinks are based on having strawberry as an ingredient, but I don't know if there's any actual fermentation project that's based on the fruit itself."
"Wow. So I'm guessing this bet isn't on a schedule? You just work with it as she comes up with ideas?" Stormy asked.
"Pretty much, sugarcube," Applejack replied.
"I'm kind of stubborn that way. Guess it shows how much we are related. Neither one of us can back
down from a challenge," Grapes chuckled, nudging Applejack.
"No matter mow much of a bad taste it leaves in our mouths? Mmm?" Stormy asked with a slight grin. Grapes sniggered, smirking over at Applejack.
The Pegasus smiled and drained his glass. "Makes me wonder what it would have been like to grow up with such
a large close-knit family. Can't all be Wine and Apples, but it must be really nice to always find someone to turn to."
"Well sometimes we drive each other crazy but Ah know I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."
"I'd be a recluse, without AJ," Grapes said truthfully. After that, the conversation wound down, and Applejack plead a need to return home to Sweet Apple Acres. Because the majority of the other farmhooves were either out on the town, or in the clinic, Grapes invited Stormfront to eat with her family. Champ and Cham seemed rather pleased with Grapes' action, though their insistence upon seating her and the gray pegasus together confused the filly.
=================================================================
The second day of the weekend dawned, quietly, with little fanfare. Sour Grapes had chose to go out, and check on the grape vines, checking their need for a good healthy dose of compost. It was something that only Grapes, or her father Champagne, could do. And soon, it would be only her, because her parents had told her they intended to retire at the end of this season, because Sour Grapes despite the setbacks, had done very well on her own. Grapes had mixed feelings about this development. One one hoof, she felt honored that her parents had such confidence in her, but on the other, she felt the early pangs of loneliness. True they were only going to be at Seaside, and could visit easily, but that loving, comforting presence would not be there at any time of the day or night she needed it. Grapes sighed, then continued her fertilization project. A bit later, she heard hooves on the path to the gate, causing her to look up, wondering who'd be coming here today? The chocolate brown unicorn left her rake in the aisle trotting to the gate. Standing there, looking around, was Twilight Sparkle, with Spike riding her back, as he was wont.
"Hey, there, Twilight. Hey, Spike What brings you out here?" Grapes asked as she walked over to the studious purple unicorn and her dragon companion. Spike waved a bit, a scroll in one of his hands.
"Well... It's kind of... interesting," Twilight said, looking very confused as she levitated the scroll over. "I received a request to... forward this message on to you, Sour Grapes."
"Huh? A message for me?" Grapes said levitating the scroll, obviously bewildered, as she examined the ribbon and seal. "Who in Equestria would send me a message through you?" Twilight glanced back at Spike before trying to subtlety as possible lean to read over Grapes' shoulder, despite the fact that Grapes had not opened it yet.
"Believe it or not, only one person can send me messages the way this one arrived," replied Twilight, scuffing a hoof.
Spike thumped his chest and stifled a belch. "Yeah... I wasn't even expecting that one." Grapes clip-clopped over to the outdoor table, laying the unopened scroll carefully onto it.
"That doesn't really tell me a lot, Twilight," Grapes said, tilting her head. "I don't suppose you would be so kind as to, you know, enlighten me? I don't get out, much."
"Well... Once a week I send a letter to Princess Celestia and the most direct route is to have Spike ignite it with Dragon Fire... and it appears in her presence. When she sends one back... Spike... uhm... Belches fire and the letter falls out of the flames.
"You're saying this letter is from... Oh..." Grapes uttered, her legs going weak. She nearly hit her chin against the table, before she stumbled her legs back beneath her, staring at Twilight with wide eyes. "Great flaming fewmets, she wrote back!"
"Wrote... back?" Twilight asked, her head tilting to one side. "You mean you sent a letter and she felt it was so important she sent it the speediest way she could?"
"She's the ruler of the whole bucking country... I wasn't expecting Princess Celestia to even read the bloody thing," Grapes said, still sounding quite stunned. "And even if she did, I honestly wasn't expecting a reply..."
"The Princess tries to be fair abut all correspondences," the purple unicorn deadpanned. "Yes she does have a Personal Assistant and a Royal Vizier to help her keep things on track but she tries to keep a hoof in all matters of her subjects... So what's it say?"
"Okay... Let me get it open. I don't have the dexterity you do with your levitation, 'cause I'm half earth pony," Grapes said, as she used her levitation to hold the scroll, but her hooves to carefully unseal the seal, and unroll the scroll. "Let's see... *ahem*
'My reasonably faithful subject, Sour grapes,
Thank you for your letter. It's arrival along with my morning mail and proved a nice change of pace. It's nice to hear directly from my subjects. Normally I usually get just the usual supplicants who come in seeking out my favor or blessing on some matter. There's only so much bowing and scraping a pony really wishes to see in her day so your... tone of letter proved a very welcome diversion.
I had forgotten that the Apple family was so extensive and was close knit enough for such information as Twilight Sparkle's weekly "friendship report " to get around. While your style differs from Twilight's flowing script, I can tell that, like Applejack, you speak forthrightly and directly, treating your correspondence with admirable honesty, if a little blunt.
I want you to know that while I don't expect regular correspondences such as this, I think I would like to hear from you again on any matter. So long as you continue to speak with an element of honesty yourself.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia'"
Twilight's jaw hung open for a moment before she shut it, and coughed into her hoof. "So Applejack mentioned my uhm.. 'friendship reports', did she?"
"Of course. They're part of the story of, well, you, She'd be leaving out something important, if she didn't include them," Grapes said, with a shrug. "I just, recently, had somebody tell me that they considered ME a friend, and that's never happened before. So..."
"So you thought it might be fun to tell Princess Celestia about it?" Twilight smirked and nodded. "I never was the kind of pony who could go out of her way to make friends so it was a surprise when I wound up with six after arriving here. Guess we have that kind of discovery in common, do we?"
"I suppose we do. In all honesty, I wasn't even expecting a reply. Thought it would provide a momentary diversion, a bit of amusement, then Her Royal Highness would go on with her day," Grapes said. "After all you're her student. I'm just a young, somewhat asocial, winemaker from Ponyville."
"You underestimate yourself. Princess Celestia isn't as distant from Ponykind as many really think. Yes she acts as a ruler should in public but... well... I've seen her struggle with some difficult news and decisions as I grew in her care. Maybe what she likes hearing from my friendship reports is a more ordinary point of view to the world she lives in. I'd use the word 'optimistic' in such a description but I get the feeling yours is more of a... a guarded optimism."
"I suppose so. From what I've heard about you, I tend to be more cynical than you are, but then the pleasant surprises do tend to be sweeter, when they happen," Grapes said with a slight smirk. "I suppose, however, we could go on for hours, talking about the difference between 'nature' and 'nurture', and how my upbringing, and a particularly disastrous visit to Gala affected me, but we'd end up putting Spike, there, to sleep."
"Probably," Twilight agreed rubbing Spike on the head. "Maybe some other time then?"
"Maybe so. I work during the week, but I could pay a visit on the weekend. I could probably use something to expand my winter reading, too. One can only read 'On the Confluence of Magics' so many times. Though it helped me in finding the balance between my unicorn abilities, and my earth sense," Grapes observed, thoughtfully.
"Really? I've never thought about how that could apply to the innate magics of the other Pony species. I always just... assumed it was a sort of Primer for spell casters. Helping to walk us through how magic is shaped and affects us as we affect it," Twilight said, surprised by this new use for a tome she's read several times.
"Apparently mixed marriages weren't as common as they are now... 'Chapter Five: The Fruit of Forbidden Love; How the mixing of tribes affects the offspring and their abilities'," Grapes recited, then tilted her head, at a rosy blush showing up on the lavender unicorn's cheeks. "Hmmm... A touch embarrassed to read that far, hm? Oh... Wait... Yeah... That chapter was a touch racy... I think old Starswirl let his imagination run away with him... That or he had a secret thing for pegasai."
"He was certainly ahead of his time. I just... couldn't wrap my head around that chapter. Guess it was too embarrassing," Twilight said, still blushing.
"And the look on your face is priceless," Grapes chuckled.
"It's nice to see someone other than me knows about Starswirl the Bearded. You'd think he was some minor character in Unicorn history," Twilight grouched, sounding a touch annoyed.
"Heh. They don't call that book 'Obscure Unicorn History' for nothing. My favorite is Geode the Earthy. He's the one who actually discovered and documented Earth Pony earth sense."
"We have a copy of that one?" Twilight asked. Spike, who had been trying valiantly not to go to sleep during the more literary discussion, shrugged shaking his head.
"I do, in the house. Don't know about the library," Grapes answered.
"Um... so... You gonna write back to Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked, curiously.
"I... might. She might find it amusing to discover I may be befriending her student... If, of course, you're willing to call cynical hybrid like myself a friend," Grapes replied, with a slight smirk.
"I have six Ponies I call my friends whom I never would have even thought of befriending before. What's one more?"
"That's the spirit," Grapes laughed. "May even be the one pony who understands what the hay you're talking about, when you talking about your studies. Heh. May even be the reason why she sent the reply Spikey Express."
"Probably. Celestia always has a reason for these things... even if it's not obvious at first," Twilight observed with a nod. "So... How does your particular earth sense work?"
"I'd have to take you into the vineyard, proper, to show you," Grapes said, handing her letter to Spike. "Keep an eye on this, would you, Spike?"
"Sure thing," the little dragon said, earning a smile from Grapes. Twilight accompanied the winemaker to one of the multitude of frames, and listened raptly as Grapes explained the synergy of unicorn and earth pony powers. Grapes liked showing off her ability to someone who really appreciated it. Her horn tingled as she demonstrated to Twilight Sparkle how she could divine various things about the Vines growing on the frame and the soil beneath it. The magical unicorn was duly impressed.
"And you have expanded this ability all on your own? That's actually amazing. I might have to ask your help in writing up a proper paper for the Academy."
"I guess that would be kind of unique... Most ponies from mixed marriages could choose to go one way or another... I had to embrace both sides of my heritage, because..." Grapes trailed off, looking down. "I... My mother couldn't have any more foals after me... I know I shouldn't... But sometimes, I feel kind of guilty about it..."
There was a sound of something wooden, hitting something solid on the other side of the Frame and a soft curse "Ow... of all the mud-licking Jackapplery... Who left the rake in the middle of the aisle?"
"Oops... Sorry, Stormy," Grapes said, looking embarrassed. "I was composting over there, and got distracted."
His familiar face peeked over the top of the frame and down at the two fillies. He smiled (Oh those nice teeth) and his sky blue eyes twinkled, in spite the the shiner starting to appear around the left one. "Oh... Sorry Grapes. Didn't realize I had an audience... I don't like to cuss in front of other ponies. Makes me sound a little crass."
"One of your farmhooves?" Twilight asked looking up at the face.
"Yup. That's Stormfront. Stormfront, this is Twilight. I was showing her how I managed to integrate unicorn magic and earth sense to help me grow better grapes."
"Well I'm very pleased to meet you Twilight. Any friend of Grapes can count me as a friend too. Anyways I was just putting in a little overtime since some of the farmhooves are currently... uh... well you know how they are right now. I just figured seeing as I'm still able bodied I could at least try to make up for the lack of horsepower at the moment."
"Eh... yeah... Thanks a lot, Stormy. I really appreciate it," Grapes said with genuine gratitude. "The rest of the farmhooves are still at the Clinic... They went to Sugarcube Corner, after they got off work, and... Well it's really weird, because I've never known Pinkie Pie to make a bad batch of anything, but this time..." Grapes said, explaining the situation to Twilight.
Stormfront's head ducked back behind the vines as Twilight nodded. "I know... It wasn't her fault. She had a severely sleep-deprived helper and well... Pride isn't always a bad thing but when you're too stubborn to even consider you can't do it all. That's when Mistakes happen," Twilight observed, nodding. Grapes sighed.
"Thanks for finally getting AJ to come to her senses, by the way. When she gets like that, I'm so tempted to give her the old left hook... But then she'd have bucked me over the fence." Grapes chuckled, shaking her head. "What can I say? It's not easy to have such a stubborn mule of a pony for a cousin."
Stormfront stepped out from behind the row with a full basket in his teeth. He put it down a moment to nod to the fillies. "Gotta head back for a fresh basket but I'll try to get two more in before dinner. your mom was nice enough to make dandelion salad tonight. Seeing how things have turned out I might be dining alone. Pleasure meeting you Twilight." Picking up the basket again he spread his wings and Grapes glanced over to Twilight and caught the expression of awe and wonder on her face as he caught the wind and leapt into the air.
She paused a moment then spoke in a hushed tone. "That... he... he's a Pegasus? You have a Pegasus picking grapes? I.... we... we had some volunteers helping Applejack out over in Sweet Apple Acres but that was just... helping out."
"It's a long story, Twilight... Though, it IS kind of easy to see why Starswirl may have developed a 'thing' for pegasai, hm?"
"I... Oh.. my... he's very endowed, isn't he? I've never seen wings that large on anyone short of Princess Celestia." Sour Grapes couldn't help it. She really couldn't. It was just that statement could be taken more than one way... Well not the bit about the wingspan being on par with the Princess' but the bit about Stormy being 'very endowed'. So it was no wonder that Grapes started to snigger impishly. "What? The amount of lift those wings probably have... he must be like the Big Macintosh of Pegasai!"
"It... it's just the comment about 'endowment' could be taken in a less than chaste way," Grapes giggled.
"Oh... OH! Oh I didn't mean... N-not really anyways. Aheh.. I shouldn't use that description when I describe him to the others, huh? I might get teased all the way back to Canterlot," the other unicorn said blushing at the thought something she said could have such a connotation but was able to joke a little.
"Yeah. For most ponies, 'endowed' is not a good word to use when describing attributes, because... Well I'm fairly cerebral, and my mind STILL went there , if that's any indication. But then," Grapes said with a grin and a nudge. "I am a little 'earthy'."
"A-although I find it strange for a pony breed who favors the air to be so content picking grapes. I gotta know, is he any good at it?" Twilight asked, obviously trying to change the subject, from her brief stutter, but she still sounded curious.
"Yes, he's very good at picking grapes. In fact he's been my steadiest and most dependable worker, I've had this season. I wish I could find more like him, because I've been, well, bleeding workers, left and right... Who would have thought that letch, Wild Oats, was roped into an arranged marriage? Uh... Anyway, I wish I could find more like him, and hire them on, full time..."
"Well, if he's a hard worker then he's a hard worker. A pity he doesn't have some pegasai friends who might like spending their time with all four hooves in the dirt," Twilight said offhoofedly. Grapes looked at her, then looked very thoughtful. "Well, anyway, we should probably head back... It was great talking to you, Grapes."
"Hey, you too. I'll be sure to visit, next weekend, too," Grapes replied, walking with Twilight to the gate. "Thanks for watching my letter, Spike."
"No problemo," Spike said, handing it to Sour Grapes. "We headin' home, Twilight?"
"Sure are. G'bye, Grapes. See you next weekend," Twilight said, waving, as she levitated Spike into position on her back.
"Seeya," Grapes said, as the purple unicorn trotted back to Ponyville. She then went in search of Stormy. Predictably she found him in the grape frames. "Hey, Stormy, got a minute?"
"Oh hey, Grapes. Yeah I can spare a few. What's on your mind?" Stormfront asked, as Grapes came up to him.
"Well you've noticed the general lack of working ponies, here, due to various circumstances, right?" Grapes asked, gesturing to the vineyard in general.
He moved his basket over a few feet and sighed. "I know... we lost some good workers with the bad."
"I know... You mentioned your team, the Storm Riders," Grapes started, cautiously. "You don't suppose they'd be interested in working here, do you? If they have your same work ethic, they'd be great..."
He stopped working a moment and stared off into the distance. "Well, to tell you the truth, the majority are in a similar boat as me. You know, brief calls to duty followed by long periods of inactivity. More than a few have secondary jobs just to keep themselves occupied. And yes, yes we do all have the same kind of work ethic, we're just... well... a mixed bag of personalities."
"That would be different, how?" Grapes asked, in a deadpan tone, with a tilt of the head and a raised eyebrow.
"Well... " Stormy paused a moment then he sat down in the dirt in front of her so the two of them were eye-to-eye. "Each of us is a specialist. I think I mentioned this before but imagine a team where every member is a real hot-shot in their field, and we never quite lose that feeling of 'best of the best' however, we have gotten into a very good habit of stepping down and letting a pony who is the best in the needed task, act as team leader. Hurricane battering the coast, Summer Squall will take the wheel. If there's a forest fire, Firestormer steps up. If it's freezing rain or a blizzard then Queenie... I mean Icestorm will take over. If I can convince any of the team to come here... That makes YOU the default team leader. You have to be ready to act the part if necessary. "
"Aaaaand that would be different from me being the boss, how?" Grapes asked, feeling like she'd asked this before.
"Well for one thing we'll ALL be pegasai. That will certainly test your patience."
"Listen. You and your team deal with storms. I could probably give you some of the weather science behind them, but I wouldn't even dream of telling you how to handle them. I, however, deal with the vineyard, and all the niggly little details that go with it. And, soon, I'm going to be doing it all alone, 'cause Mom and Dad are retiring. If I can deal with snot-nosed unicorns, overeating earth ponies, and a Freerunner fugitive, I can deal with a flock of flighty pegasai."
Stormy smiled and and stood up. "That's the right attitude! You don't have to be pushy or angry all the time but you will occasionally have to remind them that 'your stable, your rules'."
"Am I really like that, all the time?" Grapes asked.
"No, not really. You have your moments but you've been justified in those moments you had to throw your weight around, or in the case of Fritter, HIS weight. I can't believe you were able to lift him with your horn like that."
"Hey, I'm GOOD at lifting heavy stuff," Grapes said with a smirk, bracing herself, and lifting Stormfront. She then set him back on his hooves, gently. "Somebody's got to move the wine barrels."
"Oooh... Nice technique," Stormfront giggled. "Tingles a little too. All joking aside though, the Storm-Riders may be a little odd... Even compared to the temps you hired, but I think you can handle them. I'm just giving you the same speech that Weathervain gave me when I joined in... more or less."
"Gotcha. See if you can have them here, soonish, okay, or else we're going to have a banner year for burgundy," Grapes asserted, as she picked up a basket to take it over to the weigh-in area, since it was only him, that day.
"Gotcha. I'm gonna just take these baskets as-is to the scale and go in and start writing letters. If I'm quick I can get to the Pony Express before the evening shipment," the large gray pegasus said, as he picked up the rest of the baskets.
"Sounds good," Grapes said with a nod. "Too bad Twilight's assistant couldn't do it."
"Well you kinda gotta know who you're sending things to when you use dragonfire... I had to be personally introduced to Smudge when I started working for Weathervain. He can send letters to any Storm-Rider wherever they are in Equestria. Hmmm..." Stormy paused and tapped his head. "Maybe I should just send the letters to Weathervain and ask if Smudge can forward them to the team."
"That may be a bit quicker," Grapes said with a nod. "Anyway, I'll weigh the grapes, and get you the bits. Can't have you going to the Pony Express empty hooved."
"Right... Thanks." He started to bend down to lift the baskets when he stopped. "You know... if they come it'll be the first time I've seen them in a year. Hope they still like me."
"If they show up, then they still like you," Grapes said drolly.
=================================================================
Quite to Sour Grapes' surprise, one of the Storm Riders showed up the very next day. Grapes had been picking grapes that had gone to burgundy, along one of the rows of unharvested Chablis, when a skidding sound from the road attracted her attention. She galloped to the gate, hoping whatever had happened was not too serious. Instead of the wreck that her imagination had conjured, she found herself staring at a fiery colored pegasus at the end of some very long skid marks.
"Are you okay?"
The bright orange, red and yellow Pony took off his goggles and smiled. "That depends. Is this Grapevine Hill?"
"Grapevine Hills Vineyard and Winery," Grapes said with a touch of pride.
"And that would make you Sour Grapes?"
"That's what my parents named me," Grapes said with a snarky grin. "And you would be?"
He stood up and wiped his hoof off on his jersey before extending it. "Firestormer, Ma'am. I've worked with Stormfront and the other Storm-Riders on rogue weather detail. I specialize in conflagrations that get so bad they literally form their own unique weather systems. Got the call you're looking for a few able bodies for something that's a lot less... hazardous."
"Don't mind hooves-on-the-ground type work?" Grapes asked, tilting her head, raising an eyebrow.
"Well I'm not saying that my job doesn't give me a rush; but after dealing with things like pyrocumulonimbus clouds, ash storms, and fire whirls... I think having steady and mostly predictable work in between gigs will do a lot for my nerves. "
"No need to ask if you've got a problem taking orders from a mare, either," Grapes said with a slight smirk.
"Not a problem there Ma'am. The grand Poo-bah of the Storm Riders is Lady Weathervain, and don't let her know I said it but she rules with an Iron hoof," Firestormer replied.
"Nice to know you're used to assertive mares," Grapes said with a grin, then gestured for him to come past the gate. "As you can see this is a vineyard. Been in my family for generations. You know Stormfront, of course."
"STORMY! HEY!" Firestormer shouted, going to the big gray stallion.
"Great to see you Firestormer. How's the gang?" Stormy asked, grinning at the flame colored pegasus
"Doing good, doing good. How's the wings?"
"Oh sweet Celestia they healed correctly and ready to go back into the fray when I'm needed," Stormy said with obvious relief.
"Good to have you back pal. Just wasn't the same without our freaky feathered friend," Firestormer said with a huge grin.
"Stormy can get you started on the basics. I'll wait until everybody arrives before giving the 'I'm in charge' speech," Grapes said. "I HATE repeating myself."
The fiery pegasus blinked then smirked. "Something tells me we're all gonna feel right at home here."
"Probably," Grapes said with a wicked grin. "Not quite 'iron hoofed', but I do not suffer fools gladly."
"She means it. I saw her lift a Pony who looked like he swallowed a pickle barrel," Stormy said sounding a touch awed.
"He was eating all my Merlot grapes," Grapes said grumpily.
"Okay. Note to self, Never tick off the boss lady."
"She has a mean right hook," Grapes added with a smirk.
Later that same day, Grapes was checking over the grapes that the two pegasai had already picked, noting their individual tallies on the chalkboard, before carrying the grapes to the processing shed. When she came back out, she was mildly surprised to discover a taxi cart at her gate dropping off a sea-foam green pegasus wearing a red and white striped shirt, a jaunty sea captain's hat, and a sturdy leather-looking belt.. The stallion seemed to be a touch unsteady on solid ground, for some odd reason.
"Arrr... the land doesn't move under me hooves. T'aint natural I say," he uttered in a seafarer's accent.
"Of course it's natural. That's the nature of land," Sour Grapes said, rather cheerfully. "As opposed to say, water."
"Arr... Nine tenths of the world ain't enough." he said quietly as he took a few tentative steps forwards.
"Ponies can't live by kelp alone, you know," Grapes said with a slight smirk.
"We can try. Ahhh, I'll be better when I get me land-legs back. Always takes some time when I come inland. It's different out there, Seaside is actually built on Pontoons and moves up and down with the tides."
"Ah I see. Well... I'm Sour Grapes, as you probably deduced."
"Aye. Please to meet you lass. I am Summer Squall. bet you were expecting me to be a Mare, weren'tcha?" Squall asked, with a lopsided grin.
"No." The sea-foam pegasus tilted his head, seeming to be surprised at her rather deadpan answer.
"Really. That's odd. Most folks hear the name 'Summer' and think I should be a gal," he replied.
"Then they haven't met Fertile Fields, Apple Brioche, Sunshine Gleam, or Spring Breeze," Grapes said, listing off some of the stallions who had worked for her in the past. "Then there's my father, Champagne Grapes. My Uncle, Cabochon Diamond, my cousin Chablis Grapes... Poor guy got teased something awful. So when it comes to names, I simply wait and see."
"Aye. I can see that. So where's the little albatross gone to? I'd like to see if'n I can catch him off guard."
"He's harvesting the Chablis grapes, down that field, there," Grapes said pointing toward a section of the vineyard. "Firestormer's there, too."
"Wait. He's harvestin' yer cousin?" Squall asked, giving Grapes this odd look.
"No. Chablis Grapes, my cousin, lives in Paris Prance," Grapes replied. But Chablis is also a type of wine grape. Used to make, wait for it, Chablis wine. Stormfront and Firestormer are harvesting them, now. Down that aisle, in that field."
"Arr. Thank you lass," Squall said wandering down the aisle with his dufflebag slung across his back. He continued to speak even though nobody was walking with him. "Prance is a nice place this time of year. I remember my last trip there during the season of the incontinent goatherd. It was a muggy summer... "
"What am I getting myself into?" Grapes asked herself, shaking her head, as she went back to work.
=================================================================
Grapes stepped out onto the porch and sighed. The moon was in it's crescent phase, a thin curved sliver of light in the nighttime sky, just BARELY adding it's dim illumination to the fields. Two of the Storm-Riders had arrived and there were others who said they were on their way. Stormy assured her they probably would arrive by late tomorrow and she could give her big speech then. Firestormer and Squall were interesting to say the least but through discussion she felt that they could make decent workers. She just hoped that the others would be the same. She sipped her hot-chocolate and enjoyed the sound of the crickets when there was a light fluttering sound. It wasn't really the sound she had come to expect of pegasi which had a sort of 'softer' tone to it. In this case it sounded a little more like... flapping a blanket. A quick scan of the yard didn't indicate any ponies at all, winged or not, and considering that she didn't even have the porch light on what kind of Pegasai would risk flying on such a dark night? She heard the noise again. Then a light 'clomp' behind her.
"Hullo there. Is this Grapevine Hill?"
"Why do you keep forgetting the Ess? It's Grapevine HillS," Grapes uttered with a sigh.
"Sorry. My Bad. So is this Grapevine Hills, Miss?" the youngish voice said.
"Yes, it is," Grapes said, turning toward the voice. "How can I help you?" Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the small figure sitting directly in front of her. His fur was a charcoal gray... Not so strange, and the long pointy ears were surprising but not odd, but his wide yellow eyes gleamed up at her with cat-like pupils and his wings... They were bat-wings. As a foal she remembered tales of The Mare in the Moon's minions, terrible bat-winged ponies. Night-Ponies who would come out of the night and steal away bad little ponies to feed the Fallen Princess. This colt reminded her very much of those Night-Pony stories... It was a good thing she was momentarily rendered speechless and the young pony had a chance to smile in a disarmingly normal manner.
"Well I'm kinda, sorta looking for a job. A friend of mine... You probably know him if you work here, Stormfront? Big guy? Big wings? Well he sent me a letter asking if I wanted a job here and so.. I came hoping I could help."
'He's just a kid,' Grapes thought, and ended up smiling back. "I imagine you have a hard time," she said in a quiet voice. She looked him over, again, this time approvingly. "Nocturnal?"
"Yes ma'am, I am normally nocturnal," he said grinning. "But I've gotten used to the daylight lands and the schedule you keep. I'm glad someone was up right now because I was sort of debating what to do if everyone was still sleeping. I probably would have found a tree or rooftop and just slept until you woke up." Now that her initial reaction was starting to subside she had a chance to look at the young pony. The Wings and Eyes really sucked your vision to them... They made him seem so... un-ponyish. He wore a midnight blue, shiny jacket with yellow lightning bolts down the sleeves and fluffy wool around the collar (An old aviator's jacket design but actually based on the Old Wonderbolts uniform before the invention of spandex) he also had hanging about his neck a pair of Flight Goggles, but the glass was tinted green.
"Wear those during daylight hours, to save your eyes?" Grapes asked.
"Yeah. They were a gift from my Grandmother. I see in low-light as easily as you see in broad daylight, but too much sun can hurt my eyes. So these let me function normally..." he paused then held a hoof up to the side of his mouth as he whispered. "Don't tell anyone but some ponies think my eyes are spooky so the goggles hides them so they don't get scared."
Grapes smirked a bit. "You're secret's safe with me, kiddo. I'm Sour Grapes, by the way."
He smiled again and extended a hoof. Grapes was secretly happy to see it lacked the claws that the old Mares tales suggested. "Hiya. I'm Earshot."
She shook his hoof. "Nice to meet you," Grapes said with a nod. "So... What do you think you can do for a vineyard? We pick grapes during the day... But you're being nocturnal could work out."
"Well if you want I could keep on doing the same work at night. That way someone's always keeping an eye on things. But as I said I can shift to a daylight schedule easily enough. On the Storm-Riders I serve mostly as recon. the eyes and ears of the team. I help them to size up the weather patterns and landscape. Not a lot gets past a pair of ears like these," Earshot explained, then tilted his head, as if he heard something. "By the way did you know you have moles in the east field?"
"No. No I didn't. I don't suppose you could persuade them to leave?" Grapes asked. "If not, I'll see if I can get Fluttershy to do it."
"Well I can scare them off if you want. I can speak in a tone that really bugs the heck out of rodents."
"That will work just fine. I think you may do well as a watch-pony, at night. Keep the night time critters from eating the grapes."
"Sure Miss Grapes. I can do that for you," Earshot said with a smile. "Have any of the other Riders arrived yet? "
"Firestormer and Squall," Grapes replied, then smiled and mussed his mane. "If you get tired, the bunk house is over there," she added pointing it out.
"Okie Doke. I should get some rest in before sunrise, I covered a lot of ground to get here and really need some time to get my strength back."
"All righty. Welcome aboard, Earshot. I'm glad to have you here," Grapes said, smiling at the young pony.
"I am very happy to be here. I don't think I've ever actually had a chance to see how food is grown out here before. Usually I'm flying past on my way to one location or another. I really like seeing how the Daylight lands operate."
"This isn't, exactly, food, Earshot."
"I know. Your crop is destined to go on to ferment into a refreshing but intoxicating drink meant for ponies older than me. I'm not totally naive about stuff like wine. I just... Well, I left home to see the world, and it always feels so BIG and NEW." Earshot grinned and trotting in place a moment his dark purple wings fluttered and 'hugged' himself. "I can't tell you how amazing everything is out here."
"Must be quite a story behind that, hm? Why don't you go and get some sleep, Earshot? I'm about to head in, myself."
"Ok. thank you for this oppourtunity Miss Grapes. It must be weird for you to be hiring on a batch of Pegasai like us. Huh?"
"I hire on assorted characters all the time. But, you're right. I don't normally get pegasai. They usually do weather stuff," Grapes replied.
"Good choice. Okay.. so you said the big building with the snoring coming from it is the bunkhouse?"
"Heh. Yeah. Never knew pegasai snored so loudly..."
"Good night Miss Grapes. See you after sunrise." She watched as he picked up a rather nice carpet-bag in his teeth and trotted happily down the short road to the Bunkhouse. His appearance brought back some old foalhood nightmares but his attitude and personality dispelled them like smoke by a stiff wind.
"Nice kid," she mused, before going inside.
=================================================================
That next morning, Grapes left Stormy in charge of the vineyard for her trip into town, because he had the most experience. Because she was going to try (AGAIN) to get a simple pruning vest from Rarity. It did not take long for her to reach town, and Rarity's shop, when she heard Rarity in animated conversation with another pony within.
"Oh Rarity, this is just too much!"
"Please, how can I NOT adorn such a wonderfully elegant countenance. It seems like a crime for you to not look your very best."
"True true but there is no way I can afford this at this time. Although I absolutely ADORE the hat. Oh this is so gorgeous, I am absolutely in LOVE with the style."
"You truly feel that way about my summer Chapeau?"
"Such beauty, your choice of color, the simplicity of the band ribbon and crested dome. The boldness of the feathers and the wide brim... and yet it's practical too. One could do gardening with this as easily as they could go on a picnic with a paramour."
"Then it's yours."
"Oh, I COULDN'T."
"But you must! I insist! It would be a crime to let your fair muzzle become sunbburnt."
"Oh very well... but permit me to keep both our dignities intact and pay you in installments. Ten bits here and ten bits there add up in the long run."
"Oh you push too hard, but I accept your terms. Good luck with the job... I hear your new employer can be quite the taskmistress."
"Thank you for the warning, Rarity!"
"Hello?" Grapes said, opening the door, and peeking into the shop.
Rarity stood before a GORGEOUS pegasus with a pale blue-white body that actually GLITTERED in the light. She bore a set of light brown saddlebags on her flanks that looked rather stylish and upon her head was one of Rarity's creations. Even Grapes had to admit the stylish chapeau was partway functional, and rather pretty. The pegasai allowed Rarity to remove the hat to make a final change, and revealed the most jealousy-invoking mane of curly blonde hair she had EVER seen. "Hello, Sour Grapes. Pleased to see you in my shop again so soon."
"Hey, Rarity. I was wondering if I could put an order in for a pruning vest. My old one's gotten rather threadbare, and ragged."
"Oh, darling, I shall endeavor to do my best to make you a new vest but I am positively SWAMPED at the moment. It's astounding how my vocation can have these sudden surges of popularity," Rarity said dramatically.
"Wow, must be a big order," Grapes observed. "All right. I'll come back later then. Heh. At least you've got my measurements on file from the last time I was here."
"That I do... And unless you have had more than your share of Mr and Mrs Cakes' products they should still be viable. Have a good day, Sour Grapes," the brilliant white unicorn said, sounding more than a little harried.
"You, too, Rarity," Grapes said, exiting the store, then sighed. "It's nice to see her so busy, but, I'm seriously considering something off the rack at this rate..."
She heard the door open again and a hurried clip-clop coming up along side of her. "I'm sorry to be this bold but did I hear Rarity correctly when she called you Sour Grapes?"
"Yes, you did," Grapes said, finding herself face-to-face with that drop-dead-gorgeous pegasus from earlier. Grapes looked her over. She talked like one of those Gala dandies that put her down, but held herself in a rather professional manner, and seemed just the least bit nervous to boot. "You talk, and look, a bit like a Canterlot dandy, yet you look like you've actually used your wings for something other than casual flight. In addition, you knew my name, and are probably looking for Grapevine Hill... It's Hills, by the way. I think Stormy forgot the Ess in his letters."
"I surmised that much, yes. He spoke of the 'rolling' landscape which suggested that perhaps a plural would be far more appropriate." She extended her hoof and nodded. "I am Icestorm, and very pleased to make your acquaintance Miss Sour Grapes." Grapes couldn't help but notice that in spite of how impeccably groomed the offered hoof was, she could see beneath the polish and well brushed hair was the signs of a lot of hard work.
"Likewise," Grapes said shaking her hoof. "I was going to swing by the clothing store, to see if they had something serviceable in the way of gardening attire, there, since Rarity was so busy, but... Well since you're here, I'd be happy to show you the way to the Vineyard."
"I would be most grateful for that. I had planned on asking for directions at that lovely shop but I was sidetracked." She paused and watched the large form of Big Macintosh walk past with fresh produce for the Apple Stand in the market. "...barring that I may have asked one of the very friendly-looking locals."
"They're all very nice. Heh, even Rarity knows where Grapevine Hills is," Grapes chuckled.
"I must confess, I've known about Grapevine Hills for some time. My Parents have been known to stock the wine cellar with your fine vintages and I myself have had time to enjoy the occasional glass . I especially enjoyed Chateau D'Chevalier. Bold and yet sweet. A wonderful treat to enjoy as you watch the snow fall across the mountains," Icestorm said reminiscing.
"You've probably had the Chateau Royal, or Chateau Imperial, if you've ever been to the Galloping Gala," Grapes said, as they trotted along.
"Oh yes. I know the Gala seems like a polite clash of Egos but in a way I enjoy it, if not for the company then the food and efforts of the caterers. It's always refreshing to enjoy the fruits of somepony else's labors."
"I hated it, when I went, but that was Grandma Pave's intent," Grapes grumbled.
"Pave? You mean Pave Diamond? You're related to that withered old gluepot? My deepest sympathies, my family is very aware of the pull she has with the others but I assure you that the Ice Family has no desire to ally themselves with a beast like her... we have too much pride for that," Icestorm said primly.
"Mom's Champagne Diamond. In a strange confluence of names, Dad's Champagne Grapes."
"That should make for some interesting Census gathering."
Grapes chuckled. "Only one Sour, though. But most ponies call me 'Grapes'."
"I think I could be persuaded to use that name easily enough. My teammates have come to refer to me as Queenie, for reasons that escape me. I am however content to accept that nickname as it sounds... Rather flattering."
"Heh. You have a rather... regal manner about you," Grapes observed, as they trotted along.
"Thank you," Icestorm said with becoming humility, then paused a moment then smiled at her in a pleasant manner. "So... please tell me how Stormfront has been doing. He's rather gallant in his own rural way, protective of the Storm Riders as a whole like a big Brother. So naturally we have all been rather concerned when that Tornado took him away from us."
"He's been doing quite well, to be honest. He seems to have taken to vineyard work," Grapes said thoughtfully. "Kind of surprised, but sometimes it helps a pony to broaden their horizons, if they try something different... And it helps that it's relatively low-stress in comparison with wrangling major storm systems."
"Oh really now? Yes... I could see him quite happy doing that. While he can be fierce when roused, it's not easy to. He's a rather gentle and artistic soul. Have you ever seen him cloud-sculpting? It's inspiring," Icestorm said with a wistful smile.
"You think he's taken with something other than vineyard work?" Grapes asked gazing at her with a raised eyebrow, as they trotted down the road. They were just beginning to see the rolling vine-filled hills of the Vineyard, and the expansive orchards of Sweet Apple Acres.
"Oh that looks nice. Very similar to the illustration on the labels of your bottles," Icestorm gushed, as she looked over the landscape.
"Thank you. It's been in my family for generations," Grapes said, with a smile. "And I'm glad you and your friends are joining the crew. It's been a not-so-good season for temp workers... My cousin's stubborn pride didn't help matters, but that's a long, amusing story in and of itself. But you seem to have dodged the previous question."
"Previous question? Oh yes. The one about him being taken with more than his new secondary occupation. To be honest I cannot say. I know he is a very sweet stallion, artistic and very moral. That being said, if he likes you, you meaning any pony who endears themselves to him in any applicable manner, you could not ask for a more LOYAL pony to be at your side. I found this out rather quickly."
"Well, he was the first ever pony to actually tell me that they considered me a friend."
"The First? Well now... I hope that sets a good precedent then."
"I don't get out much," Grapes said. "And after that rather horrible experience at the Gala... Let's just say I was rather hurt, and didn't want to take the chance... A whole night, being told I'm something less than a pony, because my parents married for love..."
"Please, Miss Sour Grapes, do not mistake the loudest voices in a crowd as the ones speaking for everypony. In many cases it's the silent ones who make up the majority. It's possible most didn't agree with the old biddy but were too frightened that they were in the minority to speak up. Even if one spoke out... It could have easily have turned the tide. Social Pressures are difficult to overcome especially when you have the 'big mouths' to drown you out."
"Thanks," Grapes said with a wry smile. "It's just taken me a while to get over it. Though I DID tell off Prince Blueballs pretty good..."
The mask of propriety dropped a moment as Icestorm nearly broke out laughing, eyes and cheeks bulging at the effort of trying to keep the guffaw bottled up. It took few moments and a feigned coughing fit to get herself back under control. "That... *cough* Oh my, that's a new nick name I haven't heard before."
Grapes grinned. "Gotcha. Well here we are," she said, as they reached the gate with its sign.
"Oh... How Rustically lovely. It's just as the illustrations on the Crates depicted it. You know, I would have hesitated to even coming were it not for the reputation of your product and the praise of Stormfront."
"Oh? Do I have that bad of a reputation?" Grapes asked, with a wry smile.
"More along the line of the idea of working in the agricultural arena. I am not against the idea of hard work, but this," Icestorm said, looking thoughtful. "No offense meant here, but I never considered intruding upon the earth pony domain until now."
"You're not 'intruding'. I asked Stormy to invite you. I need ponies with a good work ethic, and I'm the last pony to turn somepony down just because they have wings," Grapes said with a snort.
"That's obvious... You don't seem the type to keep Stormfront around simply because he has nice fetlocks."
"Well considering I'm half earth pony, myself, who am I to judge a pony by their tribe, hm?"
"Exactly," Icestorm agreed before chuckling and speaking in a hushed tone. "Still.. he does have NICE fetlocks, I'll give him that much."
Grapes cleared her throat, a light blush coloring her cheeks. "Well... the bunk house is over here... Sorry about the accommodations..." she said quickly changing the subject. "But I do hope you find them 'rustically lovely' as the rest of the Vineyard."
"Oh, my dear, with the places I've been to as a Storm-Rider I'll be happy if it's a stable with fresh clean hay. I assure you I have slept in worse places out of sheer exhaustion. No doubt I won't have long before Sirocco arrives. Pleasant pony, if a little odd. It's the accent. You'll get used to it but trust me it can be confusing at first," Icestorm mused thoughtfully.
"A pony from elsewhere? Outside of Equestria?" Grapes asked, curiously
"Oh yes. She comes from a far off land quite foreign to what we know. The name I cannot pronounce but she speaks of it with a great deal of reverence. A great deal of sun and sand, like Appleoosa but without the 'rockiness'. She brought with her a knowledge of Desert Storms that that has been invaluable on more than one situation. Of course she has informed us there it more than just Sun and sand there... It's just that's the bit that sticks in your mind the most upon seeing it."
"Interesting," Grapes said thoughtfully.
"Well. I should set to selecting a bunk and unpacking my things. Shouldn't take any more than an hour at the most. Ah, I hope Stormfront is pleased to see us together again," Icestorm said with a happy smile.
"They all seemed to be enjoying one another's company," Grapes observed, with a shrug.
"We are a tight-knit herd. Relying upon one another to stay alive during storms tends to do that."
"I'll see you around then. I don't intend to do the big 'I'm in charge' speech until everyone's here. Not fond of repeating myself. Though the others seem to have picked up on everything, with a little instruction from Stormy," Grapes said thoughtfully.
"Well again I must say I hope this works out for all of us. It may be refreshing to have a steady income that doesn't mean we have to be at opposite ends of Equestria when there is a call-to-arms."
"Well... Some of the work is kind of mucky, Queenie," Grapes said. "Just to warn you."
"I assure you Miss Sour Grapes, that I have steeled myself for any eventuality here." she said trotting daintily towards the Bunkhouse.
"Going to need volunteers for fertilizer detail," Grapes mused to herself, before deciding to take matters into her own hooves. She gathered the cart, and fewmets shovel, and made her way to the outhouse. Grapes started to shovel the valuable natural fertilizer into the cart, humming a cheerful tune, to herself. Just something about doing this, again, that brought back memories. She hauled the cart to the compost pile, dumped it out, and used the pitchfork on the side of the enclosure to turn the compost a couple of times to mix in the fresh load of fertilizer. Grapes pulled the cart back to the outhouse for another load, and just as she was starting, she heard a polite cough. Turning, she found Icestorm standing there, fancy hat and all, an amused look on her face.
"One of the 'mucky' jobs you were speaking of, earlier?" she asked, nodding toward the outhouse, and its fewmets.
"Yes. Usually it's a punishment detail, but... Well the fertilizer is useful, and it's not been getting done, so..." Grapes said, shrugging helplessly. Queenie simply nodded, set her hat more firmly upon her head, lowering the veil.
"Very well, then. I shall attend to this matter, Miss Sour Grapes. It wouldn't do for the owner of the Vineyard to be seen doing such," the glittery pegasus said with great dignity.
"But-"
"Ah-ah. No buts. You are in charge, therefor you must show decorum," Icestorm uttered, shooing the chocolate brown unicorn away from the outhouse. Grapes simply trotted away, chuckling to herself. She looked toward the gate, and saw a white pegasus wearing a flowing white robe, and a cowled headdress of the same color Grapes turned her head to check on the Riders' progress. When she looked back at toward the gate, she was mildly startled to find that the pegasus had used the few seconds she had been looking away to move, QUITE rapidly, to the water trough by the Bunkhouse. The odd pegasus was gazing at Grapes, curiously. The brown unicorn mentally shrugged, figuring the visitor would let her know, eventually, what she needed. Right now, though, Grapes needed to wash her hooves. She went around to the back of the shed, where the hose was, rinsed off her hooves, then rounded the corner of the shed, and found herself face-to-face with the oddly garbed pony.
"GAH! Stars, above, you're worse than Applejack!" Grapes panted.
"Applejack? An acquaintance of yours I may presume?" the pegasus said, in a quiet voice, with a strange foreign accent.
"She's my cousin... Don't sneak up on a pony like that, if you'd be so kind," Grapes said, panting, hard, still, obviously trying to recover from the ninja mare.
"My apologies. I am Sirocco. I received a summons from my fellow herdmate Stormfront, indicating that there was work to be had here. As my previous work been completed I came."
"Nice to meet you. Do wish you had not attempted to give me a heart attack. I have enough trouble with my cousin Applejack sneaking up on me. Also, it's not a very courteous thing to do to your prospective employer," Grapes uttered, sounding just a touch annoyed.
"Ah. Then you would be Sour Grapes. Again I apologize. You seem... smaller than Stormfront's letters led me to believe. You must be a filly of great will, then, to keep unruly employees on the reins."
"Yes. Yes I am. I also don't take anybody yanking MY reins. And I have a mean right hook," Grapes said, finally calming down. "So that's the lot of you, then? I guess I make the standard speech, tomorrow morning, bright and early. I can't believe Queenie volunteered for compost duty... Anyway... the others are harvesting the Chablis grapes, that-a-way. Queenie's at the compost pile, over there. I'm going inside for a drink, and to bring out lunch."
"Will you need assistance with bringing out lunch then?" Grapes used her ponykenesis to gently lift Sirocco out of her 'personal space'.
"I think I can handle it. Thank you for offering. She set the robed pony down. "I thought you'd like to see your friends, let them know you're here, and tell them I'm bring out the graze."
The Pegasai didn't seem fazed in the slightest and simply nodded. "Very well. I shall see to my herdmates then."
It only took a few minutes for Grapes to get a bit of wine, and to whip up a nice buffet lunch for her new crew. She was still wondering what she was getting into. They all seemed so different, but Stormy worked with them, and they all trusted one another with their lives. Sour Grapes was trusting them with her vineyard. She just hoped she was making the right decision.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Parasprites and Other Problems
The Storm Riders seemed to acclimate to life on the Vineyard, quickly. Grapes had allowed the Riders to start on the job, and they had gotten some on-the-job training with the various duties. Including fertilizer duty, done often by the elegant Icestorm, much to Grapes’ chagrin. They seemed to accept her little ‘I’m in charge’ speech with aplomb, for the most part, but during her listing of what they’re NOT there to do, a hoof was raised.
“Excuse me, Miss Sour Grapes, but... ‘Fooling around in the frames’?” Queenie asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“It only takes one instance of finding a pair of ponies doing something wildly inappropriate beneath the grape vines, that one simply MUST include the activity in the opening speech,” Grapes said deadpan.
“You’ve, seriously, found a couple... doing that in your field?” Queenie asked, sounding quite surprised.
“Eyup,” Grapes replied. Icestorm tittered; Sirocco, after a quickly whispered explanation from Queenie covered her mouth with her hooves, obviously laughing herself silly. Stormfront, Firestormer, and Squall all chuckled. Earshot just looked confused.
“Is this one of those things I wouldn’t understand until I’m older?” he asked.
“Pretty much, Earshot,” Grapes replied.
“Okay,” he said cheerfully.
======================================================
After that, life in the Vineyard seemed to fall into a routine. Grapes were picked, weighed, and put into the processing shed, which now had Icestorm doing the de-stemming, and de-seeding. Grapes insisted that the fertilizer be collected in rotation, rather than have Queenie do it exclusively. In addition, the Storm Riders were on an hourly wage, the old time-clock being pressed into service, once again. This was due to the Storm Riders being the most reliable farmhooves that Grapevine Hills had ever hired, and the nature of their Weather Bureau job. It had not happened, yet, but should the team be called into service to wrangle a rogue storm, all they had to do was clock out. Sour Grapes was not quite sure what she’d do, with them gone, but she would figure out something. Grapes was glad they were here, but losing a day’s work chafed a bit, no matter how noble the reason. On the other hoof, it was not like the day’s work was being lost due to a multitude of other reasons; a lot of them being because of a bad lot of temporary workers.
In the meantime, however, things were getting done. Grapes found herself with more free time than usual, because the Storm Riders truly did not need her to constantly check their progress. Like Stormfront, they all worked steadily, responsibly, taking breaks, when needed, and followed orders without the usual grumbling. The last few Earth Ponies left, feeling like they were being edged out by the pegasai, and went to work on the other farms around the area. Strangely enough, the only pony left over from the original batch was Thistledown, which surprised Sour Grapes to no end.
“I’m kind of surprised you stayed on,” Grapes said, when she went to chat with Thistledown. “Why did you want to stay?”
“Oh, well... In all honesty, I can’t fault your style, Miss Grapes. You may be a tough taskmistress, but you’re more than fair, and make sure of our health,” Thistle replied. “The only time you ever exerted your authority, you were in the right of things. Also, these new coworkers are simply divine. Three gorgeous pegasai stallions...”
“Oh. You’re sidesaddle,” Grapes uttered, as if this revelation confirmed something she had suspected.
“‘Sidesaddle’?”
“You prefer to date your own gender?” Grapes supplied.
“Oooooh. You know, I rather like that better than ‘colt-cuddler’. Sounds less... Derogatory,” the green and purple pony observed thoughtfully.
“Glad you like it.”
======================================================
There came a day in the waning Summer season that duties threatened to overwhelm the young winemaker. Sour Grapes was running late in fixing lunch for her pegasai farmhooves, but she needed to go to town to check on a couple of important shipments to the Vineyard. If she stayed to fix lunch, she’d miss both the Pony Express, and the Glass-makers’ Guild before they left for lunch. It was a conundrum.
She was looking through the root cellar for something quick to prepare and wouldn't burn her house down in her absence when a shape filled the door frame at the top of the stairs. "Hello? Grapes? Is that you?"
"Stormfront?" Grapes asked, looking up at the cellar door.
"Yep. Just checking to see if someone didn't leave a door open..." he chuckled coming down. "Last thing we need is someone falling down the stairs. What are you doing down here?"
"Looking for something to make a quick lunch. I've got chores in town, but I can't leave you without sustenance."
"I'm guessing you're in a hurry then," Stormy surmised astutely
"Kind of, yeah," Grapes uttered.
"Well tell you what. If you need to go, then go. I can spare a little time to make lunch for the crew."
"You can cook?" Grapes asked, coming out of the cellar.
"Of course I can cook. I might not be a four star chef but Mom worked in a restaurant and taught me how to make tasty yet filling meals. She said it was the duty of a mother to make sure her son wouldn't have to go graze for a meal,” Stormfront said proudly.
“Okay, then,” Grapes said sounding quite stunned. “Thank you...”
"Not a problem. We're no stranger to having to feed ourselves when on a mission, they usually let me cook because I put up the least fuss. Now go, do your thing. I got you covered here."
“Thanks again, Stormfront,” Grapes said with genuine gratitude. “I don’t get ponies offering to make my job easier... Ever... So I really appreciate it.”
"Should I use your kitchen or the one at the Barracks?"
"Whichever works best for you," Grapes said, then grinned a bit. "Just don't burn down either place." He smiled and headed to the shelves and just as she was exiting the root cellar she heard him quietly say "...only happened once." She wasn't sure if he was teasing her or not.
Sour Grapes quickly made her way to town, practically galloping the whole way there. She needed to make sure the corks, and bottles were going to arrive on time. There were several barrels that were ready to be decanted into bottles, this season, and she needed the supplies to be there. Grapes was only too glad to arrive well before both places closed for lunch. Mister Bottleneck was accommodating enough to get in one last bit of business before lunch, confirming and adjusting the order to Grapes' needs. Ms. Stopper on the other hand was her usual obstructionist self, seemingly taking the last-minute business as a personal affront. How the two of them ever kept a business going between them was a mystery to Grapes, but it somehow all evened out in the end.
Grapes, glad to have gotten that bit of business taken care of, started back toward the Vineyard, with a feeling of satisfaction. She paused by the Apple Family apple stand, feeling generous enough to pick up some dessert for the crew.
Applejack was there, no doubt it was her turn at the stand, because Granny Smith was in the rocking chair behind her snoring rather loudly, making noises and the odd half-sentence in her sleep. "Well howdy, Cousin. What brings you to town? Thought you were keeping your new farmhooves on short reins."
"Well I finally got a bunch with a good work ethic, dear cousin. And how have you been, hm? I see you picked the prime spot in the square. Not too far from Sugarcube Corner, and right across from Carousel Boutique... Did you choose the venue?"
"Snxxxx... Murf. Who in tarnation painted the kitten?"
"Where?" Grapes asked, looking around for the aforementioned feline.
"Oh, pay no attention ta Granny. She was up awful late last night and insisted on helpin' me with tha stand t’day. Dunno what she's dreamin’ bout but Ah think it's cider-induced," Applejack mumbled, tucking the blanket a little more about the old green pony. "An’ for YOUR information, this here spot's perfect for sellin' apples. Why we're here in the shade where our product won't get too hot, an’ people who duck in here to cool off will have a chance to look at somethin’ sweet, juicy and round."
"Just seems interesting that you chose here to put the stand... Just the perfect place to watch a certain unicorn at work..."
"Ah certainly did not. It's just... Only coincidence that Ah can see glimpses of Rarity's marshmallow white coat through the windows over yonder," Applejack protested insincerely.
"Ah know... Zzzzzzzz... Ah'll put the earmuffs on the cookie," Granny Smith uttered from her dreams.
"Oh reeeealy... You know, you've been acting a mite... peculiar about that filly, ever since that storm-induced sleepover you had at Twilight's,” Grapes observed, casually ignoring Applejack’s momentary dishonesty for the moment.
"Oh p'shaw! She's jest a good friend, that's all. We came to an understandin’ that night. I'm a little down-to-earth, she's a little Hoity-Toity but when push comes to shove we have each other's flanks... BACKS! We have each other's Backs." Grapes was very obviously trying not to laugh at Applejack’s Freudian slip. The brown unicorn did so love her schadenfreude, especially concerning something her dear cousin, and her rather artistic friend were both in denial about.
“So... No actual yearning to catch a glimpse, then? No stray hopes that she’ll step out into the sunlight, with a craving for some of your apple treats?” Grapes asked oh-so-casually. “Then inviting you back to the shop for a... fitting?”
"Oh now that there's just a fabrication. Me and Rarity? Can you imagine it? Why we'd be compatible as..."
"...vanilla ice cream and apple pie, please," murmured Granny Smith with the sort of timing that made Applejack BLUSH. Grapes leaned against the stand, snickering.
"My dear Sour Grapes, what on Equestria is so funny?" the fashonista asked of the chortling winemaker. Grapes blinked, aghast, at Rarity and her rather fan-bucking-tastic timing, then collapsed laughing hysterically. "Uhm... Applejack, darling, do you know what's wrong with Sour Grapes?"
"Ahhhh... She's just... laughing at something Granny said in her sleep," Applejack replied, unconsciously running a hoof through her mane. "Ah thought you were in your shop this time of day."
“Well, darling, I found myself a touch famished, and decided to come out for a bite of lunch. Amazing how allowing one’s creative juices to flow works up quite the appetite,” Rarity uttered, remaining blissfully ignorant of both Applejack’s current nervousness, and the light blush that graced the orange earth pony’s cheeks. “I saw Sour Grapes, here, and decided to come over and say ‘hello’ to the both of you. And those apple fritters do look simply divine , darling. How much for two? Sweetie Belle’s sure to want a snack when she gets home from school.”
“Okay! I’m good, now,” Grapes said, standing back on her hooves. Despite her declaration, she was still having the occasional giggle fit.
"Well, tell you what. Since it's you, Rarity, I'll let you have the two fritters for the price of one," Applejack offered with a shy smile.
“Oh, darling, I couldn't!”
“Oh, p’shaw, Rarity, yer a friend, an’ Sweetie Belle’s been a right good friend t’ Applebloom,” Applejack declared, obviously not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.
“Thank you, Applejack,” Rarity said, handing over the bits.
"So how's business goin'?"
“Oh, it’s been marvelous, darling! I’ve been quite swamped, ever since the fashion show...” Rarity uttered with a gleeful expression on her face, then double-taked, remembering that the chocolate brown unicorn was standing there, still looking quite amused. “Oh! Oh, my dear Sour Grapes, I apologize, again, but I’m afraid your vest has been pushed back,” the purple-maned unicorn added, sounding genuinely remorseful. “I promise, darling, I’ll have you a whole week’s worth of pruning vests, as soon as my queue clears up, and I can get them in. And I simply will not accept payment for more than the original vest you ordered. I feel simply awful about forgetting you, darling.”
“But... you’re making me a whole set of vests...” Grapes protested.
“Darling, you put in that order, ages ago, and I forgot! I simply must make it up to you!” Rarity uttered dramatically. “I insist !”
“Well if you insist , I’ll accept,” Grapes said with a chuckle. “At least the materials for the vests will cost less than that gown you designed, so not as big a loss.”
“Oh bother ! I knew there was something I was forgetting,” Rarity uttered facehoofing.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not even going to the Gala. What say you and your friends stop by the Vineyard afterwards, and tell me about it?” Grapes asked. “I’ll provide some down-home refreshments, and very good wine, and you can tell me how things went. Aye Jay can come too, and you all can tell me about your best night ever...” Grapes made the offer, knowing that her cousin, and Rarity would probably somebody to gripe to, and possibly a shoulder to bawl upon.
"Well.. Ah'd say that's a done deal. Ya’ve said you didn' care for all tha prancin' about with them, so’s Ah never ‘spected you'd go. So sure, Ah guess we could let ya know what went on," Applejack replied.
"Oh that sounds delightful, darling. Thank you. I'm sure we'll all be able to regale you with our time at the Gala. T’is a pity you don't wish to go. I'm sure you'd be able to liven up the festivities," Rarity said cheerfully.
"Uh... Rarity? I'm likely to tell some noblepony off," Grapes uttered.
"Like she said: You'd be tha life o’ tha party with them old stiffs," Applejack uttered with a grin. Grapes made a rude noise.
"No... no.. not th'mangos! Use the pears!" snored Granny as the group chuckled
“Well as fun as this whole conversation has been, I stopped by to pick up a couple of pies, Aye Jay,” Grapes said, giving Applejack the proper amount of bittage for the confections.
"Tha's it.. come t' Granny, Mister Hasslehoof. Lemmie help you out of them duds,” Granny uttered, a slightly lecherous look on her wrinkled face. Grapes blinked, and collapsed laughing once again.
"Oh... oh dear..." Rarity giggled.
"Awwwww, Granny!" groaned Applejack in over dramatic anguish. "Ah swear.. no more late nights for her."
"I... I... I can't BREATHE!" Grapes laughed, pounding a hoof on the ground.
“Oh my my my... I believe I shall take my leave,” Rarity tittered, gathering up her fritters, a slight blush coloring her white cheeks. “I must say, this was a most entertaining break.”
“I’ll say,” Grapes chortled, as she got back onto her hooves, yet again.
“Farewell to you both,” Rarity said, as she turned, and trotted back to her shop.
“You’re staring at her plot, aren’t you?” Grapes uttered deadpan, as she smirked.
"AH AM NOT..." she started crying out before catching herself and dropping her volume. "*cough* Ah am NOT starin' at her plot, thank-you very much."
“Sure, Aye Jay,” Grapes uttered, taking her pies. “See you later, Cuz...”
Applejack "Harumphed" and turned back to her work, and as Grapes took her leave she glanced over at Granny who opened her eyes a crack, smiled a impish little grin and winked before snuggling back into her chair. Grapes grinned, and winked back at Granny Smith, before heading back to the Vineyard.
======================================================
There was a fair number of the pegasai she had seen in town lined up along her fence, when Sour Grapes finally reached Grapevine Hills. The Fillies were too busy watching the Farmhooves going about their business to even notice Grapes coming up behind them. She was able to get along side of them and listen in on the conversations without being noticed.
"Not bad... not bad at all."
"Grapevine Hills has never looked better..."
"I kinda find it a little weird... you know, Pegasai being so... 'dirty'." That last comment made the row giggle. Then Stormy walked over to the water trough and bend his head down to pick up the large ladle in it and begin pouring water over his sweaty gray frame.
"When Twilight said they had a pegasus farmhoof here I never knew she meant a whole group..."
"I think they came after the big one. Oh he's very nice."
"Oh Wait for it girls... Here it comes." Sufficiently 'soggy', Stormfront unfurled his wings in a broad sweeping motion, that Grapes could hear from here. He beat them several times, shaking the water from his body in an impressive glittering spray. the peanut gallery cooed and Grapes noticed that their own wings had all opened up wide and proud as if in response to the show.
"AHEM!"
Their wings all SNAPPED closed and the rainbow of admirers turned about to see Sour Grapes standing there looking stern as a schoolmarm. "Uh oh."
"Aren't you supposed to be clearing clouds, somewhere, ladies?" she asked in that deadly-sweet tone she loved to use.
"We're... on break?" one said weighing her words carefully Before looking at her bare hoof and mock-gasping. "Well now.. Look at the time! We better get back to work." another said as they began to take off in a small flock, the ponies getting in one another's way as they achieved lift off. Grapes trotted up to the gate, chuckling.
"Great googlie mooglie, Stormy's got fans."
"Who's got fans?" Said a recognisably tomboyish voice behind her. Turning her head the familiar colors of Rainbow Dash assaulted her eyes. Grapes casually pointed to Stormfront. Dash shaded her eyes and took a look. Then she snickered. "You know... I was beginning to think that the rumors around Ponyville were not true. I mean yeah, Applejack isn't one to make stuff up but still... Pegasai doing Earth Pony stuff? I Hope your crop doesn't come out tasting 'airy', Sour Grapes."
"You don't eat wine grapes, Rainbow Dash," Grapes said deadpan.
"You know what I meant," Dash counter-deadpanned before smirking. "That reminds me, The weather guild asked me to drop by and get your plan for the upcoming season. Of course now that you got your own team of Pegasai you're probably gonna just have them do it for you. Very slick of you, you got them working the fields and can give you custom weather on demand."
"You know, I didn't think about that."
"Well, personally I hope you keep the guild on the payroll, even if it's for the big stuff," Rainbow Dash said, with a lazy shrug. "It's nice to have some ponies for your property but in the end you probably wanna keep the local economy strong."
"I'm all for doing that. Especially if it keeps those fillies away... Why is there a circle of clouds up there?" Grapes asked. Dash looked up, then started to laugh hard enough she had to land. Grapes levitated a single burgundy grape, carefully aimed, spun the single grape until it was a blur, and sent it shooting up into the circle of clouds.
"OW!"
"Okay... I may lose all my burgundy grapes, but this could therapeutic."
Dash laughed harder and waved a hoof. "You should... *gasp* use the rotten ones."
"These are the soured ones. I don't let them get rotten, when the soured ones can be used to make burgundy," Grapes said, casually pew pewing the clouds with a few more grapes. There was a change in the shape of the ring of clouds. It dissipated a moment.. then came back together again as what looked like a face... a face with crossed eyes and an extended tongue.
"Oops... Looks like they figured out who was shooting fruit at them."
"Yeah. The problem is that I'm still having fun," Grapes said, peppering the face with soured grapes. She then reared to her hind legs, cupping her hooves around her muzzle. "This is a VINEYARD, you goits, NOT A PEEP SHOW! DON'T MAKE ME GET THE WATERMELONS!" The cloud-face dispersed, and briefly changed into an exclamation point, before dissolving into wisps and the pegasai fillies fled back to Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash was still laughing. "I would have payed good bits to see you chucking watermelons at them!"
"I know, right? But then I'd have had to pay good bits TO chuck watermelons at them... I've already made wine out of the ones Applejack gave me," Grapes laughed, having obviously enjoyed herself.
"You're kidding. Watermelon Wine?"
"It's one of a line I like to call 'Applejack Wagers'. She brings me something she thinks I can't make a potent potable out of, and I prove her wrong."
"Heheh. Well if you need someone to act as a taste-tester, let me know and I'll clear my flight schedule for it. I'm not SO irresponsible that I'd drink and fly."
"Still got to age a bit, but I'll be sure to let you know when I'm tapping the barrel. Oh, and tell the Weather Guild that we'll keep the same schedule as always. Oh... And I'll slip you extra twenty bits a week to help me make sure those pegasai fillies take their breaks, ELSEWHERE, if you'd be so kind... I don't want to have to start a watermelon patch... It's too late in the season, for one thing," Grapes said, coming up with rapid-fire ideas. "If Aye Jay didn't use her soured apples for scumpy, I'd ask her if I could have a barrel or two of them for ammunition."
"I'll spread the word that you want them to keep their distance." Rainbow paused a moment then smirked. "So is it true?"
"I do not understand the question," the chocolate brown unicorn uttered, looking confused. "Is what true?"
"Your farmhoof over there. The Big one. Does he have big wings?" Dash asked.
"Yes. Yes he does. Twilight said Stormfront's wingspan was on par with Princess Celestia's."
"Woah... that's big. I almost bust a gut when she started saying 'well-endowed' to describe him. She caught herself but I could tell that was what she almost said," Rainbow Dash sniggered.
"I did warn her that turn of phrase tends to lead many a pony mind straight to the gutter," Grapes observed with a smirk. "Even mine, and I'm about as big a nerd as Twilight."
"Anyways if that pony's wings are that big then you may save a fortune in shipping stuff back and forth to town... And of course you KNOW what they say about Pegasai with big wings. Right?" Dash asked with a smirk.
"No. But I'm sure you're going to tell me," Grapes uttered.
Dash's expression changed as she lost the smile. "No... Really. You know what they say about them? Cause I keep hearing that expression and nopony's filled me in on it yet."
"Brace yourself, I'm about to talk nerdy," Grapes deadpanned. "*ahem* If the speculation about a stallion's wing size is anything like the earth pony speculation about a stallion's hoof size, then the going hypothesis is that a pegasus' wing size is directly proportional to their... er... endowment."
Rainbow Dash stared at Grapes a moment, then facehoofed with a long giggle. "Ohhhhh maaaaaaan! That's hilarious! You mean that... the size of... and... Oh man, no wonder the girls get so weird around Big Macintosh. Okay I think I'm good now."
"You asked," Grapes said with a smirk.
"Yeah yeah. Okay I'm outta here." She paused then glanced back at where Stormfront was stretching. His wings extending to their full span accompanied with a deep yawn. "If that's true I don't know if that would be a curse or a blessing for him. Seeyas."
"See ya. I'll be sure to let you know when the watermelon wine's ready for tasting," Grapes said grinning. "You'll even be first in line."
Now that the excitement had died down, Sour Grapes could actually smell the lunch that Stormfront had cooked for the crew. She actually caught her pace quickening in spite of herself while she turned into the yard and down towards the outdoor table that the Storm Riders were seated at. Looked like a fairly large lunch consisting of a soup, a salad and... Was that fresh-baked bread? She had underestimated Stormfront's talent in the kitchen, but she made a mental not to NOT tell Applejack or no doubt she would be hearing AJ say "Wrangle that bronco and put a bridal on him, he's a keeper." for months.
"Hey, what smells so good?" Grapes asked as she trotted up to the table.
"Oh! Grapes! Good to see you back," Stormfront said with a smile. "I made a nice vegetable broth and made some salad to back it up. Then I kinda thought it looked lonely and made some bread to bulk it out a little... Then I uh... felt that it needed a big finish so... I hope you're not upset but I made a cake for dessert."
"Oh... Well no, but I went and bought some apple pies from Aye Jay. Guess we can have those with dinner,” Grapes observed, pondering, briefly, if she should be apprehensive about Stormy baking something.
"Well... we COULD have the Pies now. The Cake just came out of the oven and needs to cool a little," Stormy admitted, motioning over to where a spongy-looking coral pink Cylinder was sitting in her window. I hope you don't mind me using some of the strawberries Applejack left here.”
"I was going to try and make wine out of those..." Grapes said thoughtfully. "But if the cake's good, I probably won't mind too much. Anyway, I've got crates of the things... Even if you used forty strawberries per square inch, I'd still have plenty."
"We can always give a slice to Miss Applejack so she knows some of her bet went to a worthy cause,” Stormfront said with a smile. “It's something my mom taught me.. Strawberry Upside-down Cake. I hope you like it."
"Your mom sounds cool, Stormy," Grapes said, as she levitated the two pies to the table.
"I was lucky to have a mother like her. I was... somewhat less than graceful when I was Earshot's age," Stormfront replied, as he served Grapes some soup. Grapes smiled, sipping her broth, and then eyed the salad. It looked good, well most of it did... The spinach, carrots, and celery and onions looked very appealing but the heaping quantity of alfalfa did nothing for her appetite. Since she was a child she remembered alfalfa being the bane of her existence. It didn't matter that it had a high protein content and highly digestible fiber, and was "Good for you", she despised it. Stormfront on the other hand had his muzzle deep in a bowl that seemed to be nothign BUT the vegetation that haunted her childhood memories.
"Ugh..." Grapes uttered with a sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Stormfront asked, mercifully swallowing before speaking. She wasn't sure she would have liked seeing him speak with a mouth full.
"I'm... not a fan of alfalfa,” Grapes admitted, helplessly, not really wanting to show any disrespect for Stormy’s efforts, despite her aversion to the dreaded grass.
"Really?” Stormy asked.
"It's been something of a bane of my foalhood," Sour Grapes uttered, making a face.
"Ohhh,” Stormy said seeming genuinely surprised. As if it didn't occur to him that such a thing was possible. "I'm sorry... I always thought it was a treat."
"Guess Maneland couldn't get alfalfa, much?"
"Yeah. Living halfway up a mountain kinda limits availability to... well.. what the customers wanted, And now that I look back on things, Alfalfa wasn't high on their priorities either,” the big gray pegasus mused, thoughtfully.
"I never liked it. I'll never attempt to make a beverage out of it either,” Grapes asserted.
"Well... if you don't want it, I won't be hurt if you pick it out of your salad. In fact if you slide it down this way I'll eat your alfalfa for you," Stormy offered with a smile.
"You are a prince in a farmhoof's feathers, Stormy," Grapes said, sliding the bowl down. The other diners about the table chuckled and continued to eat.
"So what did you do in town, Miss Grapes?" Earshot asked curiously.
"Oh took care of the wine bottles, and corks, teased Applejack about her crush, bought a couple of apple pies, laughed at Granny Smith's lewd fantasies about Hasslehoof..."
That last comment brought a lot of laughter around the table. Although Sirocco did ask "Who is Hasslehoof?"
"He's an actor, and singer, Sirocco. Big hit in Germaney,” Grapes replied.
"And he is pleasing to the eyes then?" Sirocco asked, looking at Grapes.
"It's a matter of opinion, but the consensus is that he is,” the brown unicorn replied with a shrug.
"Ah. Remind me to see if they have any of his music at the Recorded music disc store then. He sounds interesting."
"They're called records, Sirocco."
======================================================
A few days later, Grapes found the Storm Riders all doing some manner of preparation after they had done their farm duties. Squall was creating some manner of wooden carving, a very impressive one at that. Queenie and Earshot were decorating the barn for some sort of quiet celebration. Firestormer seemed to go into town, after work, obviously searching for something. Grapes was not sure what he wanted, but he was not asking her for any help. Sirocco on the other hoof had come back from Ponyville with some records. Some Hasslehoof, but others did not seem to the exotic pegasus’ taste. Grapes was not sure what was going on, so she finally confronted Queenie on the matter.
“Excuse me, but what the hay is going on?” Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow, at the decor.
“Stormfront’s birthday is coming up,” Queenie said as she hung up some streamers. “Honestly, we didn’t know if you wanted to participate or not.”
"Why wouldn't I? You are all becoming practically family."
"Well, some employers can be friendly but... never familiar with the help. " Queenie said looking a little embarrassed. "It was a possibility that you might have had a few lines you wouldn't cross when it came to being with the Hired Hooves."
"Well you guys are more permanent than the usual set of Hired Hooves," Grapes said as if that explained everything.
"OK. But you gotta keep it quiet. This is the first time in a long while we have all been together for Stormy's Birthday. ...and I think I know how you can be useful." Firestormer said with a mischievous smile.
"And how's that?" Grapes asked cautiously.
"Out of all of us you're the only pony who can come and go from the farm without him seriously wondering where you're off to. You keep your own schedule, and we need a cake. The kind that has nice writing and decorations on it," Firestormer replied.
“Okay. I’d be happy to do that. I'll have to head to Sugarcube Corner," Grapes said with a nod.
"All right. He's not too fussy with sweets but he loves lemon as a flavor. Just a little tart in with the sweetness is how he likes it," Firestormer explained.
"Right. A touch of tart... Note to self: See if the Cakes can make the cake,” said Sour Grapes then blinked, and looked around, making sure that no random pink pony would pop up out of nowhere, then looked relieved.
"Are you okay?" Queenie asked, after seeing Grapes look around in a slight panic.
"Yeah. Just looking for Pinkie Pie."
"Were you expecting her?" Firestormer asked looking around, himself.
"Let's just say... She's really really random," Grapes uttered.
"Ah. OK. So just a simple ‘Happy Birthday Stormfront, from your friends’ is good."
"All right. I'll be back later," Grapes said, heading toward the gate.
"Thank you miss Grapes. We appreciate this... I could fly there and back in a jiffy buuuuut... well the writing would get smudged,” Firestormer said rubbing the back of his head with a hoof.
"Gotcha," Grapes said saluting, before trotting into town. It was a rather pretty day, Grapes had to admit, but there was something a bit interesting going on in Ponyville. She had to pause and look around at all the preparation going on, and wonder what was going down. It wasn’t until she saw the sign saying: “Welcome Princess Celeste” that Grapes understood what was happening. A royal visit. Goody. Just what she needed to disrupt her day. She trotted to Sugarcube Corner to see if the Cakes could fit in a birthday cake with all the other stuff they’re having to do for the Princess’ arrival. This being Ponyville, however, it did not take very long for things to start going terribly wrong.
Although she was hardly an old pony, Grapes prided herself on being well-read and decently knowledgeable on a fairly wide array of subjects, but this... this was beyond her ken. These tiny winged pests, cute winged pests, but still winged pests, were literally eating every ounce of food everywhere in Ponyville. The colorful buzzing whatsits seemed to take a non-personal glee in descending on anything edible and leaving not even seeds or stem left. She tried to keep them out of Sugarcube corner by swinging a broom at them, but the remarkably agile critters avoided her efforts and swooped in to feast on the goodies inside. What were these things? Where did they come from? How could hey metabolise food so fast as to make their asexual reproduction so... rapid.
It had started out as SUCH a nice day before. Granted in her humble opinion the preparations for Celestia's visit were being overdone for what Twilight had said was a 'casual' visit, but she could at least appreciate the efforts everypony had gone to. Now they were in the middle of a plague of cuteness. She sighed heavily in frustration. She knew she was forgetting something but it was just avoiding her, all the munching and cooing and buzzing was really getting on her nerves... and there goes Applejack running like her tail was on fire. The sight of her cousin looking so frantic began to spark her memory, that elusive important thought starting to rise up to the front of her brain... then violet waves of magical energy washed over the town, distracting her and making her lose that thought. And the annoying little fuzzballs stopped eating the food.
"Okay..." Grapes uttered, watched as some sniffed at a sumptuous pie resting on the counter and turned away from it... and began to chew the counter itself. Somehow in her mind the connection between a sudden shift in their eating habits and the color purple that game moments before added up to the most powerful purple spell-caster in Equestria. "Oh... TWI-light..." Grapes groaned. "Really? All our talks about 'Confluence', and you go and do this?" She swung her broom with renewed vigor.
"EVERYPONY FOR HER SEEEEEELF!" cried a familiar voice and a heartbeat later she saw Rarity gallop past. No doubt she was on her way to her shop where her livelihood was no doubt being eaten. She had heard the expression 'Chewing the scenery' but this was ludicrous. Even the broom she swung was being nibbled to death. At least these little parasites weren't eating PONIES! Whatever spell Twilight cast could have wound up with far worse connotations than a town full of... well... TOWNLESS ponies.
"What the hay ARE these annoying little fuzzballs?! And why do I hear polka?" Grapes asked, having to pause and listen in obvious surprise. It was a rather happy-sounding tune. It was bouncy, and gleeful and definitely polka... and it added a perverse tone to the otherwise horrifying sight of Ponyville being ground down to the foundations by gluttonous flying beasties. But something was different... the mood was changing. The flying pests had stopped their meal and were definitely listening to the music. Some were even moving to the polka beat. Grapes exited the bakery to see the creatures leave the town following... Pinkie Pie of all ponies. "What... the... hay?" Yes it was Pinkie Pie, set up with enough instruments o be a one-pony band. To be honest while it certainly LOOKED like something Pinkie would do, Grapes had to hand it to her. She never even suspected she had such musical talent. "... Oh fewmits, I'm going to be humming that for DAYS! Why did the blasted little furballs have to be led away with such an annoyingly catchy tune?!" She saw the Princess approaching from Canterlot off in the distance and realised she was going to arrive on the outskirts of town... Right in the path of Pinkie Pie and, well it looked like her friends were following her too. Judging by their expressions they were just as confused as she was about this turn of events. Still, at least Ponyville was salvageable, basic foundations looked intact even if a lot of the structures had more holes in them than a colander. She slowly walked through the streets watching the dazed Ponies, realising the latest crisis to hit Ponyville had come to a close. Some were totally shell-shocked, sitting out in the streets looking at the damage, and some were already starting the clean up. She felt so sorry for them. If it were her home and her crops that had been eaten... Then it slowly dawned on her why she saw Applejack running the way she was earlier.
“OH FEWMITS!” Grapes uttered, before pivoting on her hooves, and galloped out of town and down the road seeing DEFINITE signs of both foliage and items having been chewed upon. As she approached the turnoff she could see Granny Smith staring up at the enormous wooden skeleton that was once the Apple family barn, and Big Macintosh putting a blanket across her shoulders in comfort. The cold rush of adrenaline surged through her veins, and she took the corner at breakneck speed, forcing herself down Grapevine Hills' road and steeling herself for the worst. And she saw some evidence of chewing on the fence and the grapes and frames in the first few rows... but only the first few rows. It was as if the creatures didn't care for the taste of her hard work and just.. left. It was both heartening and yet... she felt a little insulted. "I am so weird..." Grapes uttered at her own reaction. She slowed down and came to a stop where she saw the Storm Riders in various positions around her home. Squall sat at the peak with a telescope, Icestorm and Firestormer were on the Front porch while Stormfront was on TOP of the roof of the front porch. They were not resting, they were in fact very alert. It was a little inspiring to see them like this.
"Ahoy Cap'n Grapes!" Squall called down without pulling his eye from the telescope. "You seen them too? The wee parasprite beasties that were well-bent on devouring yer crops a short time ago?"
"Er... Yes."
He nodded and put the telescope down. "They tried, but they were driven back to whatever deep dank well they came from. Good thing too. I've seen parasprites strip whole cities of their food... and sometimes the city itself when some wizard thinks they can change nature's nature. Still it was all we could do to just be ready in case they came back."
"Pinkie Pie played some kind of polka," Grapes said, with a roll of her eyes. She was still somewhat unhappy about having that song stuck in her head.
"Polka?" It was a word the small band of ponies all echoed at once. Squall recovered quickly and rubbed the dark patch at the end of his muzzle.
"Aye... that would do it. But there just ain't enough of us here with musical talent to have done that ourselves. Truth be told I only heard rumors about polka being parasprite remover but thought they were just being snarky about polka."
"Well Pinkie gathered enough instraments to do a one-pony band."
"So did the little critters just keel over or what?" asked Firestormer.
"They went back to the Everfree Forest,” Grapes informed Firestormer, then leaned close to the firey maned pegasus. “Obviously I wasn’t able to get the cake,” she added in an undertone. Firestormer simply nodded and shrugged. Neither one of them had been expecting parasprites.
"Our methods were a little less... musical, but at least your farm is in better condition that Sweet Apple Acres," Stormy said leaping from his perch to the ground. "Should we... you know... offer to help them rebuild?"
"Would be neighborly. And they are my relatives," Grapes said musingly. Applejack probably wouldn’t want to accept help, but she couldn’t tackle this on her own.
"Okay. wasn't sure, I mean your cousin IS pretty proud. She might take offence to someone offering help."
“I’ll just whop her up side the head until she accepts,” Grapes said with a smirk. “She should know that since we’re family, I’m going to help.”
"Heya Miss Grapes," said Earshot as he circled the group before coming in for a landing. "You missed all the fun."
"Oh? You had fun with those annoying little fuzzballs?"
"Kinda." he said, as he stuck his nose into a paper bag, and chewed noisily. "I mean I was takign my mid-day nap when they arrived but I was ready to protect your crops from pesty pest-type parasprites."
"What are you eating?" Grapes asked, surprised that a bag of potato chips survived the parasprite’s appetite.
"Oh! I'm sorry. I'm being rude. You want some?" He held up the bag to her and before she could even think of reaching in she glanced over Earshot's shoulder to see all the Storm-Riders cringing in horror and disgust. Even Stormy looked like he was revolted and scared at the same time, holding up his hooves and shaking his head vigorously in the universal "Oh sweet Celestia, Don't do that, you'll regret it." motion. She cautiously looked into the bag and felt her stomach give a sudden lurch. Growing up in a rural area gave her a strong constitution to things a city pony would have lost their lunch to and she was greatful for that. What she had mistaken as potato chips was in fact insect wings, similar ones to the parasprites that had plagued Ponyville earlier.
She forced her stomach back into place and smiled "Uhm... No thank you Earshot. I'm afraid your snack would disagree with my constitution. More for you, though."
"Oh yeah. That whole 'Baked Bads' thing. I keep asking Pinkie to make me some but she keeps making this face and asking where she put her emergency bucket," Earshot said with a shrug.
"She just wants to forget about that, Earshot," Grapes said with a slight sigh.
The night pony had another mouth-full of wings and chewed happily. "Too bad. They sound like they're pretty tasty. I was amazed that there were parasprites here. They're a bit of a delicacy back home. In those "uncertain times" grandmother talks about when night ponies had to re-discover agriculture without earth pony assistance, we had to adapt a more flexible digestive system. We have kind of a... a truce with a local fiefdom where we eat the bugs that eat their crops, in exchange for seeds, tools and raw materials we might need. It's not a perfect system but it's helped us to survive... and kept us useful to the locals so they don't... you know... storm my home with torches and pitchforks."
"A very wise arrangement. Maybe we can do something about... Trade... I bet your home has cool stuff that nopony's ever seen," Grapes said musingly.
"Really? I guess... I mean I never really thought of it like that before. I mean, I'd have to show you Stygian Cove to get your opinion."
"Well now. Your home DOES have a name," Queenie said with a smirk
"Oops. I don't think I was supposed to tell. I mean Grandma said to try to keep where we are a secret but the word 'Cove' kinda narrows things down."
"We're not the sorts to kiss and tell, Earshot," Grapes said, calmly.
Queenie smiled and rubbed his mane. "Besides, it would be rude of us to take unfair advantage of the trust of a comrade. Perhaps you should ask your Grandmother if it would be permissible to invite friends there or not. A lot can happen in a year."
"Weeeeeell. Alright. I'll ask,” Earshot said.
"Just tell her a bunch of Daylanders went crazy and want to play tourist," Grapes said with a grin.
Earshot blinked and then giggled. "I can do that. Grandma seems to like you guys anyways.”
"Uh... Squall. There were an awful lot of those... parasprites. He COULDN'T have eaten them ALL."
"Truer words have never been spoken lass. No, once the beasties saw that their position on the food chain had dropped to the very last link on this property... the bulk of them turned tail and ran."
“Huh. How ‘bout that,” Grapes mused, thoughtfully.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Royal Delights and Canterlot Nights
Several days later, Stormy’s birthday party was held in the barn. It was a quiet affair, with gifts, and reminiscing. Grapes prepared a simple lemon ice-box pie for Stormfront’s birthday, since the Sugarcube Corner was still recovering from the parasprite infestation. A simple recipe, with a pleasant tartness but not too tart that made Stormfront’s day. The big gray pegasus’ smile was worth the effort, in Grapes’ mind. Gifts were given, songs were sung, and the pie was eaten. And that day went very well for them all.
It was a couple of days later that Sour Grapes had a rare visit from Twilight Sparkle. She arrived, with Spike, after lunch looking about the same as she did when she was told to forward a message from Princess Celestia. Spike seemed to be looking around at the pegasai who were working in the vines, and around the grounds.
“Hey, Twilight. What brings you here?” Grapes said trotting over to her guest.
“Looks like you got another letter,” Twilight said with a smile. “You’ve been writing to Princess Celestia, since that first time, I take it?”
“Yup. Been keeping her up-to-date on current events, around here. Providing some insight, that sort of thing,” Grapes said with a shrug. “Wonder what the Princess wanted to know about, that it was so urgent?” Twilight looked at the seal, then blanched a bit.
“I, uh, don’t think this was written by the Princess...” she uttered.
“Huh?” Grapes uttered, then unrolled the scroll.
“To: Sour Grapes care of Grapevine Hills Vineyards
From: The Desk of Princess Celestia
It has come to the attention of her solar greatness that several diplomatic functions are approaching and are currently without any planned wine provider. It is at the bequest of Princess Celestia that Sour Grapes will come to Canterlot via royal chariot with a broad sampling of her Vineyard's product for evaluation. Rapid response to this message is appreciated.”
“Who wrote this?” Grapes said raising an eyebrow.
Twilight looked at the scroll then at the wax seal and shuddered. "Uhm... well... you know that Equestria is a very large union of territories, it would be silly to believe that Even a being like Princess Celestia herself could possibly keep it all straight without assistance... right?"
"Hmmm... True. Whoever wrote this, though, sounds rather... officious."
"I know... But you really don't want to get on the bad side of Impertinence. As Celestia's Personal Assistant she has a LOT of clout... nearly as much as the Royal Vizier's."
“You should know by now I don't tend to give a flying flip about 'clout'," Grapes said calmly. "But this does seem like a letter written by a pony named 'Impertinence'. Glad it was delivered on a Monday. I should have a nice selection by the weekend, and be able to pester Rarity into working in some kind of uniform vest into her queue."
"Uh yeah. Look. I've been in and out of the Palace a lot since I was a foal. I know the ponies there and... there's two you gotta be careful around. One is Impertinence. She's as inflexible as Iron when it comes to keeping Celestia organized. Please be careful around her."
"So... She teach you about being organized did she?" Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow, catching on to Twilight’s nervousness about Impertinence. "Possibly why you're so worried, aside from the obvious motivation of not letting your mentor down, about being tardy, hm?"
Twilight hung her head and nodded. "She only taught me things because Celestia asked her to. The only Pony that seemed to get away with anything around her is Guarity... the Royal Vizier.”
"I see. Hmmm... Well I'd better RSVP, with the time I will be able to return. Should I be just as official?" Grapes mused, thoughtfully. "If so, I'd better go inside and get some letterhead."
"You have Letterhead?" the purple unicorn asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, because sometimes we've got to do some official missives for officious ponies. Be right back," Grapes said going inside, briefly, and coming out with her stationary kit.
"Hmmm. 'I, Sour Grapes of Grapevine Hills Vineyard and Winery, is most grateful for Her Solar Radiance's regard in the area of fine inbibables. However, it is with great regret that my schedule prevents me from bringing forth a sampling of my fine vintages before the weekend. Come Saturday, I shall be at your disposal at your earliest convenience with a sampler crate of my most celebrated wines: Chateau D'Chevalier, Chateau D'Royal, and Chateau D'Imperial. I also plan on bringing something different for Her Royal Highness' perusal.
Thank you again for your invitation. I await the weekend with great eagerness.
Sincerely,
Sour Grapes
Proprietor Grapevine Hills Vineyard and Winery," Grapes muttered, as she wrote the letter. "Officious enough for dear Impertinence?"
Twilight Sparkle read it over quickly and giggled. "Definitely. I think she grazes on red tape and thrives on bureaucracy."
"Can Spike send this to Perty?"
"Certainly. He's just down in the fields at the moment. He's kinda facinated by your workers," replied Twilight with a chuckle.
"Why is he fascinated by pegasai? He sees them all the time around town, doesn't he?" Grapes asked raising an eyebrow.
"He does... but even though he's seen them with businesses and doing a lot of ordinary pony things, he's never seen them as Farmhooves. You have to admit it's interesting."
"Tell it to the weathermares who tend to take their breaks here..." Grapes groused. "They act like a construction crew would, if Rarity or Fluttershy walked by."
"Oh yes... I remember Rarity's big debut in Cloudsdale when I gave her wings,” Twilight uttered with a roll of her eyes.
Grapes chuckled. "So who's he checking out? Either Queenie or Sirocco, I bet. He seems to have a thing for the ladies."
"He was impressed by Queenie, but I think he's more into darker manes. So it's probably Sirocco.”
A sharp "GAH!" came from inside of the barn followed by the short purple dragon they were just talking about. He was running as fast as his stubby little legs could carry him, stopping only once he was behind Twilight's legs. "Twilight! There's... some... THING in the barn!"
"Let me guess, he's a short pony with yellow slitted eyes and bat wings?"
"All I saw were the eyes... wait... there's a pony attached to them?" A gray head with wide golden eyes and a purple/black mane popped out of the doorway looking around.
"Miss grapes! Did you see it? There was some... THING in the barn a moment ago! It was purple and scaly and..."
"Earshot, this is Twilight Sparkle's assistant, Spike. He's a young dragon. Spike this is Earshot. He's a night pony."
"Hello." Spike said quietly, peering out from behind Twilight's legs like a shy foal and it's mother. Earshot stepped out from the barn and with a smile trotted over.
"Oh wow... You're even smaller than Smudge. Hey there. I'm Earshot, pleased to meet you."
Spike looked at the strange figure and blinked. "So... are you some kind of Pegasus?"
"Oh yes. Thank you for noticing. I'm a Night Pony, we're a sort of Pegasus that happens to be built for night-flying," Earshot said with a nod.
"Oh. that kinda explains all the creepy stuff,” the young dragon said with a slight grin.
"Spike!" Twilight griped.
"Sorry Twilight, I didn't mean to call him creepy..." Spike uttered, trailing off.
"He grows on you," Grapes said with a smirk.
"It's okay. I'm not offended. I know ponies find me different... That's why I came out here. I'm hoping to get people used to ponies that look like me. That way when the rest of my breed comes out of hiding maybe... we'll be treated fairly. You know, judged on who we are instead of how we look," the night pony said wistfully.
"How... how many MORE of you... night ponies are there?" Twilight sparkle asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Oh... I can't tell you an exact number. Probably a town's worth at least. But we're way outnumbered by daylight pegasai and... Well... Daylight Ponies in general," Earshot replied.
"So Night Ponies are real, and numerous but not... dangerous," Twilight uttered, musingly, obviously happy to have learned something new.
"Yes, yes and no... We're no more dangerous than any other kind of pony. We have our good ones and bad just like out here. But like out here the good outnumber those who don't play well with others,” Earshot observed with a smile.
"That's... amazing. I have so many questions I..." Twilight paused and looked at Grapes who was standing there patiently. "But they can wait for another time. Sour Grapes, please hand the message to Spike and he'll send it on it's way."
"If you would be so kind as to send this to Impertinence, I would be grateful, Spike," Grapes said levitating her official reply to the dragonling.
Spike gave her a look that was similar to 'Are you nuts?' as he held the scroll in his hands a moment. "Are you SURE you wanna send HER mail?"
"Yes. She sent me an official missive, and I replied in kind," the chocolate brown unicorn replied with a slight smirk.
"Well, okay," Spike said before took a deep breath and huffed out a short burst of green flame across the scroll. It was amazing how the paper was reduced to ash in a heartbeat, and the ash to just a swirl of swirly, sparkly purple with green accents rising up into the sky.
"Well I need to head to town, and pester Rarity for a nice uniform vest. I'll get a label so she can work with the logo," Grapes said thoughtfully. "I'll tell Stormy he's in charge, while I'm out... And you can chat with Earshot, if you like Twilight."
"Oh! That would be... I mean if you can spare him," Twilight said excitedly, obviously happy to learn more about the mysterious night ponies.
"What were you doing in the barn, Earshot? Maybe you could do whatever work you were doing between chats with Twilight and Spike," Sour Grapes asked.
"Oh certainly! I was cleaning out the hayloft, nobody's really done anything serious up there for a while."
"You weren't cleaning the hay out, were you? We use that during the winter to keep the vines from being killed by frost," Grapes asked.
"Well to be honest I don't think anyone's put fresh hay up there in a while. It really should be changed before winter comes in. But mostly it's cleaning out behind old crates and labeling what you got in them... mostly old clothing and stuff. Really nice stuff, but old," Earshot replied nodding toward the barn.
"Hmm. Okay. Cleaning out the hayloft sounds like something you can talk while doing it. Knowing Twilight, she'd want to put her organizational skills to the task," Grapes observed with a slight smirk at Twilight.
"Oh Spike and I can be of good use up there," Twilight said excitedly.
"That would be great. Thank you Miss Sparkle," Earshot uttered with a grin at the studious purple unicorn.
"Thanks, Twilight. Enjoy your talk, too," Grapes said, before going to find Stormfront, and telling him he was in charge in her absence. Once the small details were taken care of she headed immediately into Ponyville. It was fairly quiet, and Rarity had just finished speaking to the Mayor on some matter as she entered the shop.
"Oh don't worry Mayor Mare. everything will be just fine. Oh Grapes! Darling! Welcome back so soon," Rarity said to the departing official, then turned to the brown unicorn who had shown up on her threshold.
'About time,' Grapes thought before saying out loud: "Hey, Rarity. I've got a bit of a rush commission to ask of you, if you're not too busy."
"I have a little time on my hooves for a friendly face. What do you need?"
"Promise not to... Overreact?" Grapes asked, just knowing that Rarity would do so, more than likely.
"Very well... you have my word that I shall not overreact. I am not some Drama Queen you know," Rarity uttered with a toss of her royal purple mane.
"Well you have this 'thing' about royalty, Rarity. And I just received a Royal summons from Princess Celestia, via her personal assistant mind you, to bring a sampler of my wines to Canterlot,” Grapes explained, apprehensively. This Rarity , after all, and she had nearly caused a death by corset whilst daydreaming about Prince Blueblood.
"I see," Rarity said with a short nod. "Oh, pardon me a moment." She stepped into a changing room and Grapes watched in amusement as the hooves below the curtain 'danced' in excitement as a muffled squeal of joy could be heard through the pillow she was probably biting. The curtain opened again and dazzling white unicorn stepped out looking back in control. "So what is it you wish of me? Oh! I know. A lovely frock with Prance-styled ruffles on the collar and..."
Grapes gave her this look . "No. Seriously no. I would like a nice uniform vest, with the Grapevine Hills logo on it. And it has to be done by Friday afternoon, or early Saturday morning... And I'm paying for it, since it's probably bumping the queue."
Rarity looked as if she were wrestling with her conscience, her desire to create stifled by her desire to do what a customer NEEDED from her. She trembled slightly before taking a deep breath and nodded. "Very well. Because you need it so quickly I shall keep it... 'Nice'.”
"And if it makes you feel any better, you could work on that Gala Dress... I could always use a nice 'special occasion' dress, for formal things," added Grapes, and then she chuckled, noting that Mayor Mare had left after Rarity's reassurances. "I don't suppose you helped Applejack with the positioning of her sales cart?" she asked with a slight smile. "It just seems so... convenient."
"Me? Why whatever makes you ask that? Well... of COURSE I made a suggestion or two, that being such a nice spot in the shade, out of the hot sun and I DID note that ponies often keep to the shade when the weather grows too warm. No sense in Applejack, her produce and her customers being inconvenienced by overheating,” Rarity said airily, as she searched for just the right fabric for a good vest.
"And right across from your boutique, too. Easy to go and grab a fritter, or an apple."
"You know me, I often have a... a 'hankering' for fare without fanfare. Applejack's product may be many things but it has never had to resort to anything too superfluous to taste so good."
"So... No hankerings for company of a more... wholesome nature, hm?"
Rarity paused a moment then smirked at Sour grapes as she walked over to her seamstress' dummy and began to drape fabric across it with intent. "Well, I will admit that Applejack's... uncomplicated nature is somewhat refreshing. However it's not like I wish to.. pick out curtains if that's what you're trying to get at."
"Just seems like you two have gotten a bit... closer after that rather disastrous sleepover," Grapes said oh so casually.
"Who told you...? " Rarity started before catching herself and reigning in her emotional moment. "That is to say, how did you even hear about that sleepover?"
"Twilight mentioned it. Never mind the tree falling through the Library wasn't something that went unnoticed."
“Well the tree in itself... well that's not really an indicator. Twilight on the other hoof..." the purple maned unicorn’s voice dropped a tone, indicating she wasn't pleased such information was shared so openly. "Well she DOES like to talk. I'd take anything she says on such an evening with a grain of salt. After all she DID try to organise a slumber-party like one would an inventory day."
"Heh. Yeah, Twi loves to organize things," Grapes chuckled, then paused, and levitated out a label. "I almost forgot. I brought a label so you'd have a Grapevine Hills logo to work from. And all Twilight said was that you two had a horrible argument, then worked together to move the tree."
"Oh really?" Rarity queried, pausing in her work and laying her tools down to come over and take a look. She scrutinized the image before continuing her work, and saying: "Well we may get on one another's nerves but we are FAR from being enemies you know. Friends fight, one cannot simply have a friendship and agree upon everything. It's just one has to be willing to accept those differences and move on."
"I've always been something of an observer of the equine condition... And I notice things," Grapes said with a slight smirk.
"Oh? And what things would that be?" Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Little glances, little smiles. Things that most would miss. From what I've observed, I could infer that you think dear Aye Jay has nice legs," the brown unicorn observed casually.
"Uh... well..." A hint of rose colored her cheeks, looking positively elegant upon her flawless white face and indicating the comment struck true. "Of.. Of COURSE she has nice legs. The dear runs about all the time on her farm, doing all sorts of farm.. things. So strong and yet retaining femininity. How can one NOT stare. I am... positively... JEALOUS of legs like hers. No long days at the spa or the gym to keep her body well in shape. No. For her such legs come naturally."
"I would also infer that you find Aye Jay to have an appealing physique," Grapes added, looking ever so innocent, a slight grin on her face.
"Well... YES!" Rarity managed to say, apparently getting into her plausible excuse. "Again it comes down to simple envy . You see my body?" The white unicorn did a turnaround to show off her own graceful form to her customer. "Oh how I SUFFER to keep myself in good condition. And yet Applejack does it with clean country living and hard work. Why shouldn't I look upon her physique? There is nothing wrong with looking through the windows of a shop, even if one isn't there to buy. Is there?"
"Hmmm... I guess not," Grapes said musingly. "I have to admit, though, even I'm envious of her hair."
"Ah yes. Her hair is nice I suppose. Although it looks like straw and has a similar smell."
"You haven't really looked at it, have you? Especially compared to my mane," Grapes uttered, running a hoof through her own.
"I assure you that I got a VERY good look when I was at the Slumber Party. I DID wind up sharing a bed with her."
"Well she's changed something, since then, 'cause it's like corn silk," Grapes said.
Rarity was at the window in an eye-blink and looking out. "What? Where? I didn't... " She then paused and glanced back at Grapes. "Well-played Miss Sour Grapes."
"I seem to have overstepped a boundary. I apologise. But I tend to tease my friends, so..." Grapes added with a shrug.
"No. Don't apologise. As you said you were just teasing. Perhaps I DO have some feelings for Applejack but we are close friends, and she is attractive... Not to mention we are both bearers of the elements of Harmony. Such an... infatuation is no doubt fleeting in nature, but our acceptance for one another's differences will remain long afterwards," Rarity observed quietly, seeming rather glad to have spoken that bit of hidden truth.
"That's good. Though you two have a lot of common ground, as well," Grapes mused. "You're both hard workers, you're both dedicated to your families, and you both have good hearts."
"Yes, YES! Precisely! Dedicated is the correct word," said Rarity as she seemed to get a slightly sad look on her face yet managed a smirk. "Although it's easier for her to really... mesh with her family. My parents come from a rougher cloth than myself. Like the difference between silk and cotton, but I love them and my sister."
Grapes smiled. "Nothing wrong with cotton," she said. "Not quite as good as silk, but at least cotton won't slide you off the bed when you least expect it." She then launched into a silly story about how she tried jumping on her parents' bed, the day after Hearts and Hooves Day, as a filly. And ended up simply sliding off the other side. It was a story that Rarity could laugh along with.
"Oh dear oh dear oh dear. You poor dear. I always liked slipping between the sheets but it's so easy to forget one can slide out of them... or across them. Very well Sour Grapes. I'll work on your vest. It's a simple enough project, I should be able to get it done before Friday."
"And I'll have the bits for you by then. I remember you add ten percent to the fee for a rush job," Grapes said, nodding. "And since it IS a rush job, I'm paying for the vest."
"Very well. It's customers like you that keep me in business," Rarity said beaming.
"You're generous to a fault, Rarity... And you can put up with my teasing... Twilight's crush is a touch dangerous to tease about..."
"Oh? Twilight has a crush? It's hard to imagine our bookish little friend harboring such feelings but I suppose locking herself up with all those books means they have to come out sometime," the purple-maned unicorn mused thoughtfully.
"Eyah... Considering WHO it is... It's a bit... Risky to even mention." Rarity placed a hoof on Grapes' shoulder and smiled.
"Then don't. Rumor has a way of running about on it's own, and once it gets out there's precious little that can be done about it... It's juicy, isn't it?"
"Indeed. But this is from my own observations, though... IF you think about it it's really obvious," Grapes said. "I'd better head, and let you get back to work. Oh... And if you want to see Applejack’s mane look like spun gold, wait for her to step into the sunlight."
“We’ll see,” Rarity murmured, as Grapes left her shop. The fashionista shook herself out of her reverie, and went back to work, while keeping an eye on her front window. The moment that the orange earth pony stepped from beneath the tree’s shade, Rarity found herself sidling to the window to take a peek, gasping quietly at the golden shimmer of her friend’s mane. She shook herself, then with a more determined hoofstep went back to work, once again. “Blast that Sour Grapes,” she muttered.
After the visit to the Carousel Boutique, the week seemed to fly by. There was the daily business of the Vineyard that needed to be attended to, with the harvest coming along quite nicely. Grapes also checked on the aging wine barrels, and determined that the new watermelon wine was ready for bottling, and tasting. This prompted a trip into town to ask around for Rainbow Dash, since Sour Grapes had promised her the first taste. Quite to Grapes’ surprise Rainbow invited all her friends to taste, as well. Of course, Applejack had to be there, but Rarity being eager to taste the experiment was still quite the surprise. Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity all found the watermelon wine to be quite delightful. The broccoli wine didn’t go over quite as well, until Grapes brought out a nice sharp Trottingham cheddar. Applejack, predictably, grumped about losing yet another wager.
Friday, Rarity surprised Grapes with her uniform vest in a dazzling white with well-done embroidery. Grapes was more than happy to pay the seamstress the bits owed, because the white unicorn did fantastic work.
"Oh, my dear Sour Grapes, I only wish you would have let me make you a proper dress or... or something like that for this visit. Still.. I bowed to your common sense and made what you felt you needed. I hope you Like it. I went with the best cotton fabric I could get my hooves on, this has a thread count of over three hundred. Very sturdy and yet it still will breathe. Never, let royalty see you sweat, darling. Although I prefer not to be seen sweating anywhere other than a sauna." Grapes coughed, sniggering, obviously NOT rising to bait. “I cut it a little roomy for comfort and double-stitched it for strength. It simply wouldn't DO for it to fall apart while in Canterlot. Also as per your request I added your Family Vineyard's logo upon it. Not my best work, of course. But in the end I am... satisfied I did a good job.”
"If this isn't your best work, it's darned near close."
"I'm just used to far grander projects with much more time to work in," said Rarity as she nodded at a curtain blocking off her display area from her workshop and with a flash of her horn slid it aside. Grapes saw six more dressmaker's dummies each with a similar vest, each in state of incompletion, and each a different color. "It took me several false starts before I finally found a color that seemed to work. White adds a sense of purity, and cleanliness to the vest. Hopefully this still reflects your occupation and family holdings while saying to the world ‘I did not just come out of the fields to visit’."
“I think it looks wonderful, and considerably better than my old pruning vest,” Grapes said with a nod. “Thanks for this, Rarity. It was well worth the extra bits.”
"I'll finish up the other six so you have some spares you can use. I'd rather they not be 'wasted' material..." Rarity giggled. "One for each day of the week."
“Heh. Or at least a variety of colors, for different situations. I could commission some uniform vests for my farmhooves, in the future, too,” Grapes said musingly.
"I belive I would like that. I hear some of your farmhooves could be a challenge designing for," Rarity said, obviously relishing the thought of a challenge.
"Well you've already met Icestorm," Grapes said sounding amused.
"Oh yes. Such a lovely, darling Mare. Such an attention for detail... no wonder you have her working your deseeding... uh... shack," Rarity said with just a hint of distaste.
"The place is a work in progress," Grapes uttered with a sigh.
“I also heard from Twilight and Rainbow Dash that you have a Big Macintosh of your own. Although this model has wings. Care to comment?" Rarity asked archly, with a slight grin.
"I don't think he's quite as big as Big Macintosh..." Grapes observed thoughtfully.
"Well yes... he has to be aerodynamic I'm sure. But still... Both walked away impressed," the fashonista observed with a slight grin. Grapes merely looked at Rarity.
"You were there for Twilight's near use of the phrase 'well endowed' weren't you?" she asked deadpan.
"Oh yes... Miss Dash was positively rolling about in hysterics while Twilight corrected herself. Poor dear,” Rarity mused, looking amused.
"I tried to warn her," Grapes uttered.
"And she TRIED to get it right... She stopped halfway though the word before changing tack,” the white unicorn said with a grin.
"No, I warned her not to use the phrase 'well endowed'," Sour Grapes asserted.
“Well to be honest Endowed is a perfectly clean word, it's just society that has added that spin to it."
"I know I know, but... When the phrase 'well endowed' is used in reference to a stallion, one's mind goes straight into the gutter."
"I know... Truth is now that we're speaking about it, I'm thinking bout it now. Not very ladylike but part of me is curious about that statement about the wings. Ah well... As you said. Gutter-thought. So... please try the vest on. If it fits badly then this is the time to find out,” Rarity uttered, primly.
"All righty," Grapes said, using her limited ponykenesis to slip on the vest.
"Mmm. Looks good... looks good. I really should have put a lining in but I really didn't have any truly suitable material other than silk, and that might have had you sliding about inside of that vest the whole trip,” the dressmaker mused, thoughtfully.
"And that would have looked incredibly silly," Grapes said with a smirk.
"Definitely. All right. So Fits fine? No tight spots or anything? Wonderful!” Rarity said gleefully clopping her hooves with glee.
"Quite so. You do fabulous work, even rushed," Grapes said with a nod. Sour Grapes paid for the vest, and left the boutique with a cheerful air. She was stopped en route to her home, however, by Twilight.
“Hey, I’m glad I caught you before you went home,” the purple unicorn said with a smile. “I got another scroll for you via Spike.”
“Thanks, Twilight,” Grapes said taking it from her. “This probably outlines my itinerary. May even have a ticket for the train. I’m just a common tradespony after all. I wouldn’t be brought to Canterlot in a chariot like you were brought here.”
“Well... Good luck with your visit. I hope it goes well,” Twilight said with a kind smile.
“Thanks,” Grapes said with a nod. “Oh, and tell Spike thanks, too, for being such a willing conduit for fast mail.”
“I will,” Twilight chuckled. They said their goodbyes, and parted ways. Twilight had to get back to her studies, and Grapes had to get ready for her trip. She had her vest. She just needed to get together the wines she was taking, a wedge of Trottingham Cheddar sharp enough to cut a pony’s tongue, and the tasting glasses. She was well prepared, and how that she had the ticket to go to Canterlot. The trip should be a simple one. A simple tradespony going to meet either the Princess’ personal assistant, or the Head Chef.
The weekend dawned quietly, with Sour Grapes getting up early, and gathering her things to head into town. The itinerary said that she would be picked up at the depot. So the mode of transport was going to be a stagecoach. Kind of odd, with the train being right there, but Grapes was not one to argue. She made her way to the depot just in time to see a pegasus drawn chariot come in for a landing. Grapes looked surprised to see it, until she saw an older mare hop off the transport.
“Red Ink?” Grapes exclaimed, sounding surprised, as she trotted up to the well-dressed mare. They had met, years earlier, when her rather snobbish grandmother, Pave Diamond, had the Vineyard audited. Pave’s plans backfired, however, due to her father’s good business sense and better record-keeping.
“Sour Grapes! What an unexpected pleasure. You’re going to Canterlot, then? Looks like you’re prepared for a personal wine-tasting,” the Auditor General of Equestria uttered with a smile. “I’m here to catch the train to Dodge Junction, then on to Appleloosa.”
“Why? 'Cause it's easier to travel by rail to Appleloosa, and Dodge Junction?” Grapes asked, curiously.
“Exactly," said Red Ink before dropping her voice to a more conspiratorial tone as she leaned in a little closer to Grapes. "And between you and me, I LOVE travel by land. It's the only time in my busy schedule that I get... well.. TIME to enjoy myself."
Grapes grinned, and nodded. "Well enjoy. I hear those Western towns are... interesting."
"I'm looking forward to it. Safe journey to you, Sour Grapes,... Watch out for turbulence."
"Turbulence?" Grapes uttered.
"Air travel can be as rough as land travel. Dips and bumps in the wind. I recommend using the harness in the chariot to reassure yourself and in the little pocket to your left is a small paper bag in case you feel your lunch making a curtain call."
"Huh... Thought I was going by train..." Grapes mused.
Red Ink glanced over at the two pristine white pegasai in golden armor who pawed the ground with their hooves while they drank from the water fountain. "I can only guess that since I was taking ground travel from Ponyville, Celestia must have thought this convenient for all parties involved."
"I guess so..." Grapes uttered, sounding surprised. "This is quite the arrangment for a simple tradespony," Grapes said. "Well, have a good trip."
"Thank you, Sour Grapes. Enjoy your own time in Canterlot."
Grapes climbed aboard the chariot, and settled her bags into the luggage rack, then strapped herself in. "Ready when you are, gentlestallions." The pegasai nodded, and after a quick check of their own barding and harnesses gave a CHUFF of satisfaction and started trotting. There was a moment of acceleration and they brought the chariot up to speed. Not too different from any Coach or Cab ride she had taken before. Then the world fell out from beneath them and her stomach along with it. She hadn't quite expected the sudden elevation, or was ready for it... or for that matter the sight of Ponyville shrinking so RAPIDLY beneath her. Grapes squeaked, then ducked down to where she couldn't see the rushing scenery.
"Are you all right, Miss?" one of the Pegasai asked, over the roar of the wind passing overhead.
"I just discovered I'm afraid of heights," Grapes said peeking over the edge of the chariot's front. "It was not something I knew, until now, but I'm fine if I don't look down."
"Oh..." the one of the left replied. No doubt the very same who asked is she was fine. "Air-travel isn't for everypony. We'll try to give you a smooth ride. Just stay low and try to keep your mind occupied, ...and in case you feel like you might ruin the upholstery feel free to make use of the small paper bag in the pocket there."
"Ugh... Okay. NOT looking down. Do not look down. Keep the mind occupied, and do not look down..." Grapes murmured, then looked behind her, and made a strangled squeak. "You just had to look down, didn't you?" She manages to scootch down into a corner of the chariot and try to read the small novel she brought along. At the recommendation of Twilight Sparkle she had started on the Daring Do books. They seemed fit for teenage foals, but... Well the story was surprisingly deep. And fun! It was easy for even a non-pegasus to identify with the main character. She had been so drawn into it that she hardly notice the soft 'bump' that accompanied the landing.
"We've arrived Miss Sour Grapes. Your inn is to the left. Just show them the same pass you showed us and they'll take you and your personals to your room," The one pegasus pointed out to her.
Grapes marked her page, and picked up her bags. "Thank you, gentlestallions," she said hopping off the chariot, and smiling at the guards. "The ride was smooth, and I had no sense of vertigo what-so-ever." They nodded thanks and trotted off to probably the Royal stables where they would be unharnessed and their gear properly stored. Grapes looked up at the Inn and examined it critically. It looked surprisingly nice. The description that Twilight have given on Impertinence made her half-expect some flea-trap dive. But no, it was a simple four story building, boxy and unadorned save the brass plaque next to the awning-shaded doorway that read "The Dew Drop Inn" "Wouldn't be surprised if the propriotor -or the founder- was named Dew Drop," Grapes mused, as she trotted to the Inn.
The lobby had a red carpet leading to an oak check-in counter currently occupied by a pleasant young Earth Pony mare who smiled sincerely. "Welcome to the Dew Drop Inn. I am Dew Drop, proprietor, owner, and chief desk clerk. How may I help you today?”
Grapes levitated her pass. "Sour Grapes, owner, and proprietor of Grapevine Hills Vineyard and Winery."
"Ah. We've been expecting you Miss Sour Grapes. We do a lot of business with the Palace, giving a place for visiting ponies to stay." She rung the bell and a trio of short ponies came out in a comically bumbling manner. "Please take Sour Grapes' things to her room while she checks in." They grabbed her bag and the crate that contained her wares and in a haphazardly excitable manner loaded them onto a trolley and vanished into the elevator. Dew Drop noticed Grapes’ pained expression and smirked. "It's all right. They may act like a trio of stooges but they're actually quite competent.”
"Oh... Good. Didn't want the wine bottles to be broken. Er... Any messages?"
"Just a welcome fruit basket left in your suite... Oh yes. And a message from the palace confirming your eleven-fifteen appointment. If you wish we can have a wake-up call for you. As I mentioned, before, we are accustomed to ponies with business with the Palace. Most often it's those who cannot afford hotels such as 'The Glitz' but we often provide a place for parents visiting their children in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns,” Dew Drop replied.
"All right. I'll take the wake-up call, thank you. Early enough for me to get dressed, and properly groomed, please," the brown unicorn replied with a nod.
"Certainly," Dew Drop said as she slid a key across the counter. "We have a small restaurant next door that has an arrangement with us. If you wish to eat in your room rather than there, they can send meals up to your room, and we have a small pool out in the garden out back. You will be staying in Room 306. Enjoy your stay."
"Thank you, Miss... Is your family Dew or Drop? I've got a cousin who puts his family name first, because it makes more sense..." Grapes asked, obviously trying to be properly polite.
"We go by the surname Drop, but most often I'm just known as Dewdrop as if pronounced as one name."
"Well most of the time I go by 'Grapes'," Grapes replied with a smile. "Mostly because nobody wants to call me 'Sour' to my face. Except my cousin, but she's one in a million."
"Well Miss grapes, I hope you find Canterlot well during your visit,” Dew Drop said, cheerfully.
"Has Canterlot been ill?" Grapes asked as she took her key, her eyes gleaming with mirth. The young Mare giggled, and Grapes was lead to her room by the same trio of buffoons who brought up her luggage. She was grateful it was all there, intact, and the room was rather nice. It was far from the silk drapes and Prancian windows she might have expected from Canterlot but tasteful and functional. She could easily see why this hotel was a common stopover for parents and non-noble visitors. Sour Grapes quickly settled what few possessions she had brought with her, and was very grateful that the inn provided sample-sized toiletries, because she’d only expected to be there for the day.
For all the pretentiousness of Canterlot, Sour grapes was impressed. The sheer vertical feeling of the white walls and the spotless streets were a far cry from the warm 'homey' feel of Ponyville. And yet it didn't come across as cold... just... like the whole city was standing at attention. In her own way she was glad she was wearing her white vest. People seemed to accept her as a professional tradespony of some kind, neither snubbing nor going out of their way to greet her. The Restaurant Dew Drop had pointed out, The Jolly Duke, was like going back to Ponyville. Rich dark wood with low light and earth tones made her feel like the business itself had opened it's arms in a welcoming hug like an old friend. The Owner certainly did. Oak Cask was a portly Pony who treated every customer like they were family, sometimes even sitting with them for a spell and getting into long discussions on their business and families. Grapes smiled around at the restaurant, feeling at home. She ordered a simple meal, and simply pony watched, while she ate. The meal was quite hearty and delicious, as was the thick wheat-grass smoothy that came with it. She enjoyed watching Oak Cask keep things on the level with his employees and still greet everypony personally, making new friends and greeting old customers and asking them about details that astonished Grapes that he could remember them all. He even found time to sit and speak with her about her own visit... And he remembered her parents.
"A wonderful couple. When they were seeing one another they would come in here because... well... Pave Diamond would never be caught dead in here. In fact the only other pony from your mother's family that ever came in here was Cabochon liked him. Good customer, always paid his tab and was always friendly."
"Uncle Cabochon was always like that," Grapes said with a smile. The time passed quickly in the restaurant and by the time she left it was dark, and she found herself asleep almost the moment her head hit the pillow. It had been a slightly stressful day. Discovering a new phobia was a bit nerve-wracking.
The next day, Grapes received her wake-up call. She showered, and made herself presentable, then put on her packs to head to the Palace. The winemaker was sure that she would have to walk all the way there, because she was nothing more than a common tradespony, after all. This could get her some nice business with the palace. Something other than the Gala would be quite nice. Twilight had assured her that in spite of her lofty position, Celestia was a wise and fair pony and wouldn't rush any decisions about Grapes' wine one way or the other. She would be Fair and just with her selection as she was with all other aspects in Pony Society. Even so, she was still a humble tradespony, and was certain she'd be speaking with the head chef, and not the Princess, herself. Writing letters was one thing. But an audience? Hardly. She Found the Palace easily enough... it WAS the biggest building in the city. It practically WAS a city unto itself. Before coming she did a quick historical refresher for small talk, the castle was only as old as the Celestian age after Nightmare Moon's reign had been violently ended with enough force to devastate the old castle that once housed the Royal Sisters. Many facts, much trivia, and yet As she stared up at the edifice she couldn't help but wonder about that old adage about 'compensating for something' might hold true here.
Grapes wondered if she should take herself to the tradespony's entrance. She pulled out her scroll, and looked it over, to make sure of where she was supposed to go. She had to hoof it to Impertinence. Her writing style was forthright and blunt as a large hammer. She was to head through the East entrance (Direction of the rising sun, how clever) and head up the stairs and using the Pass to get beyond any guards along the way, report directly to the main Admissions area. The first pair of guards she unfortunately mistook for the pair that had brought her here. They informed her that Royal Guard uniforms contained a spell that kept a certain 'look' for the guard so they all matched. His 'bored' tone was a sign that this was not the first time he had explained this. Still it was informative, and after he looked the pass over the two let her by. It was actually alarmingly beautiful on the palace grounds. She even got a chance to see large stone urns with explosions of Royal Roses growing in them. Each nearly 'glowing' like iron heated cherry red in the sun. Sour Grapes now knew why her former farmhoof, Basashi, couldn't resist a taste. Her own mouth watered at this feast for the eyes. Her pace increased as she worked to put them behind her.
'Note to self: Ask for a sample,' Grapes thought, as she trotted on into the palace, seeking the admissions area. The guards at the main doors noticed her coming and again she produced the special Pass. They nodded to one another and slowly pried the heavy wooden doors open, allowing her to enter. She walked into the chamber within and found her hooves on a thick wall-to-wall rug. Heavy tapestries hung on the walls obscuring any sign of 'wall space' as ponies in garb that made her feel like she was dressed in a burlap sack waited on a long bench that went once around the room and back again. The carpet and tapestries ate any and all sound in this room, causing it to be dead quiet. In the middle of the room like an island in the middle of the decor was a doughnut-shaped mahogany desk where a Unicorn sat working with one of those new typewriters she had seen at the technology shop. Her typing was the only sound in the room as everypony had a very uncomfortable 'scared' look on their face. Approaching the Unicorn, Grapes realised the desk was subtly higher than any pony, forcing them to look up at this stern mare who looked almost like she had been cast from Iron.
"Miss Impertinence, I presume?" Grapes said with a wry smile, and a tilt of her head.
The typing came to a stop, and the mare turned to peer over her triangular glasses down at Grapes. For a moment Grapes had a feeling of smallness, as if she were intruding on this pony's vastly more important time. She took a quiet breath and centred herself. She had been invited here, after all. She had a Pass, and thus was supposed to be here, on time, and she was here, on time. "You would be correct. I am Miss Impertinence, Royal Personal Assistant to Princess Celestia, lady of the Solar Flame. Do you have an appointment?"
"Yes, ma'am. I am Sour Grapes, head winemaker, farmhoof supervisor, and head of quality control of Grapevine Hills Vineyard and Winery," Grape said sounding just as snooty and officious as Impertinence, obviously in mockery of the stuck-up mare. "I also have a pass that you sent me, as proof of said appointment."
"Ah yes. Princess Celestia did wish for a formal examination of your product for possible use at various upcoming events." She turned her head slightly to the large set of doors bearing Celestia's Heraldry and Grapes could see how her mane had been pulled back into a severe bun which only served to accent this Mare's angular features. "I'm afraid Celestia's meetings with the board of Agriculture has run long today, as has her time with the Pit-Pony guild. Please have a seat and you will be called in rotation." Grapes saluted, and sat herself down, pulling out her Daring Do book, obviously well prepared for a long wait. She did have time to reflect on the room. How it had been designed to intimidate those who came in. To force them to sit in silence at the whim of somepony who's gaze could make royalty squirm. She was aware that a Pony she was certain was a Prancian Aristocrat, was politely as possible reading over her shoulder. Then the silence was shattered as a happy voice sang out from nowhere
"Ahhhhh... Impertinence my sweet! And how has the morning been to you?" Glancing up she saw a White and black figure wrapped in ebon and silver robes sweep across the carpet to an obviously irritated Impertinence.
“It WAS absolutely well, until your arrival, Oh... Royal... Vizier."
"Ready for me to turn the page?" Grapes whispered to her co-reader, as she watched the Vizier irritate the oh so stuck-up Impertinence. He looked evil, but something about him put her at ease. Maybe it was because he didn't care for Perty's overbearing personality any more than she did. Her co-reader blushed and nodded, but also seemed distracted by the sudden appearance of the Royal Vizier. He looked... gaunt. His bone-white coloring clashed with the greasy tangled black of his mane. He grinned through sharp-looking ivory yellow teeth as his red eyes scanned the room, and even caused a few ponies to try to duck. And yet for the goat-like features he had, and the robes he wore, the one part that stood out in her mind was that horn. She had seen many unicorns and most horns had a graceful spiral to it. certainly some had been nicked or notched from injury, she had even known a Unicorn who's horn had been broken in an accident and he had it capped with a flat golden crown, but the Viser's actually TWISTED up like a corkscrew. It was a shocking detail that you couldn't help but stare at. Again the Vizier grinned at the Personal Assistant and majicked her day-planner out from under her nose.
"Looks as though you're going for a hat-trick today, my darling. Let me see if I can speed things up. Mmmm... No. No. Nope. Uh-Uh. Not my style," the gaunt looking unicorn mused, as he looked at the entries for the day.
"Guarity!" she hissed looking not unlike a teakettle starting to boil. "Return my Day-Planner. I will not just sit back and let you disrupt..."
"YOU!" Guarity shouted, pointing at Grapes with his hoof. The ponies on either side of her 'scootched' away from Grapes slightly hoping not to get hit by... whatever was about to happen. Grapes sighed, marking her place, shrugging helplessly to the Prancian Noble.
"Can I help you, sir?" Grapes said calmly. Sure he was ugly, sure he looked sinister, but she was NOT going to let him intimidate her. She wasn't sure HOW he did it, it was like his legs hadn't even doing anything under those robes. Like he just... flowed over like mercury. He smiled and slipped a hoof behind her. The touch made her skin want to crawl but she had been ready for it. He seemed the type.
"Come along young mare. You don't wish to keep the Princess waiting for your appointment, do you? We'll take the service entrance and bypass all those uppity guards," Guarity said with a smirk.
"Guarity! I swear, by Celestia herself..." Impertinence uttered threateningly. Grapes, honestly, couldn't help it. She was finding Impertinence's frustration incredibly amusing. It was about as much fun as she had teasing Rarity about her crush on Applejack. She was guided over to one of the tapestries that rolled aside to reveal a hidden passageway behind it. Just as she entered she heard 'Guarity' call back to Impertinence.
"Keep fighting the good fight, my precious!" Guarity called back as he closed the service entrance.
"OOOH!" was the last thing they heard from the uptight personal assistant. Grapes waited until the service entrance door was closed, before she started snickering.
The passageway was narrow but far from cramped and softly lit nicely by razor thin, beams of light streaming through slits in the wall, and striking a series of crystals high up on the wall. The dark gray walls and oak and iron beams that supported the castle's weight were a far cry from the pristine white stone and plaster she had seen making up the palace on the outside. "So, Miss Sour Grapes, how are you finding your trip to Canterlot so far? I hope that the Dew Drop Inn is to your liking."
"It is quite cozy, I have to admit. The restaurant owner knew my parents, so that was fun. I wasn't expecting accommodations, but I have to admit the treatment of Equestria's tradesponies is not something to complain about," Grapes said with a nod.
"Well too many ponies in Canterlot seem to forget who's backs they stand upon. I find it easier to extend some small gestures in the now than to ward off pitchforks and torches later." Guarity paused a moment to open a small slot on the wall and peer through it. "And here we have the royal library where much of Equestria's written history is stored. Care for a peek?"
Grapes looked through the slot. "Doubt many ponies are here, considering it's the middle of the day on a weekend."
"There used to be only one regular. But she had special privliges. From this angle you can see on the glass-encased podium the original Treatise Equestriorum, the original agreement between the three tribes of Ponykind before the Hearth’s Warming unification," the Vizier observed, as the winemaker peered at the library.
"That was probably Twilight Sparkle," Grapes said musingly. "She did say she used to spend a lot of time there."
"Why yes. Yes it was. Nice pony but rather antisocial... More interested in her studies than meeting other ponies. I'm pleasantly surprised she's actually wound up with some friends,” Guarity observed, thoughtfully.
"I've met her. She's fun to talk to." He closed the hatch ont he wall and led her further down the hidden corridors, taking lefts and rights at various intersections. Pointing out points of interest both inside and outside of their crawlspaces. Despite her initial reaction to him, Guarity came across as a quirky tour guide than a Royal Vizier.
"And if you look through this small hatch right here..." he said opening up a another peephole for her.
"Mmm. What will I see, this time?" Grapes mused, peeking through the hole.
"The Stallion's changing room for the Royal guard." Guarity said matter-of-factly. "I belive you're catching them just after the changing of the guard."
Grapes blushed and backed away. "Now that there is just plum improper," she said.
He grinned and gave a rather sinister-chortle. "Sorry. Couldn't resist. But I suppose no tour is complete without seeing SOMETHING inappropriate. Ah... here we go. Just down here will take us straight to the throne room." Grapes couldn't resist one last peek before shutting the peep hole and following the Impish Unicorn. She couldn't help but wonder a bit about Stormy... But she wasn't about to start putting peep holes into the bunkhouse for her personal titillation. She clip-clopped behind the Vizier with a grin.
"So... I take it you're whole 'evil vizier' thing is a front?"
"Mmm? Why, Miss Sour Grapes, whatever brought you to that conclusion?"
"Let's see... First and foremost, your demeanor. You're too cheerful, and impish to be truly evil. Secondly, you're very 'over-the-top' in your costuming. The robes have an enchantment to ooze, making you look like some kind of slug, or oil slick. It enhances the 'evil vizier' image. Considering the literary device of the 'evil vizier' most of them try, at least, to hide their nefarious plans, not lampshade the whole trope," Grapes observed. "However, most ponies are not careful observers, and will think that an evil look means an evil heart."
Guarity paused and glanced back at her with a wistful smirk. "I wish I knew more ponies like you back in my days at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.”
"Heh. We're rare. We stand outside, and look in, and know what makes weaknesses, or strength. We know that Life is bucking strange, and just go with it," Grapes said with a smile. "And would never judge somepony because of where they came from, or how they look, or who they choose to love. Life may be bucking strange, but love is even stranger ."
"Well I suppose I DO lay it on awfully thick, but I find I can get SO much done when ponies overestimate what I'm capable of. Truth be told it really helps in the long run. Everypony skittering out of my path or assuming I'm up to no good... and few ever questioning my actions. Impertinence and myself work our hardest to pick up the slack of the pony sisters. Need an accord negotiated between two factions. Let the Princess do that... but when it comes time to write it up, and sew up the loopholes... well... let's say Celestia is a better DIPLOmat than a BEAUROcrat,” the vizier observed with a helpless shrug.
"Bit of a mother hen, but that seems to be part of her nature."
"She worked hard to earn her domain and defends it fiercely. Ah here we go. Let me go first and introduce you," Guarity said as he nudged a hidden switch on the wall and a segment of wall opened up letting in harsh white light. He moved into the hall quickly and quietly, and when Sour Grapes’ vision focused she could make out that she was not just IN the throne room, but behind and slightly to the left of the great throne itself. If she leaned just right, she could actually see the princess herself there. In spite of Grapes’ self-assured cynicism her breath caught in her throat as she saw the sculpted beauty of the Princess and the pastel-rainbow of her ever-flowing mane. Seeing her in person, so close felt like every rainbow and sunrise she had ever seen in her life all at once. And there... silently standing next to her in the blindingly white room was Guarity. A patch of sinister shadow in the sea of light. The fat bejeweled pony who was speaking to her only just now saw him and started to stammer and stutter at the silent distraction. Grapes rolled her eyes at the sight of the fat pony, and huffed a bit. Nobles.
"And so, that is... I ah... must insist on the uh... redefinition of... the... price for corn on the open market. That is to say... "
"Yes, yes, Mister Porkbarrel. I assure you that I will give this matter to my highest official for immediate processing. Oh what a coincidence. Here he is." Celestia hadn't even turned her head, there was no way she could have seen Guarity, her guards certainly didn't. Grapes noticed how their wings bristled as they turned back in surprise and glared at him.
"Ah yes. The Maize Re-evaluation Reform Bill. Has that come up again? Do not worry yourself Oh Luminescent one. I shall take this off of your hooves and give it the attention that it duly... deserves." Porkbarrel seemed to cringe inside of his jewelry and robes before nodding graciously and backing up all they way out of the room.
"Thank... thank you your grace, and thank you your Majesty," Porkbarrel uttered.
"So Royal Vizier. What brings you to my throne room? Some important matter of state?"
"Nothing escapes YOUR notice great Celestia. We have some issues to bring to the fore... but please... not in front of the guards."
"Very well. As always you have my COMPLETE faith, Guarity. Guards... please form a perimeter outside of the throne room. I wish to remain undisturbed." The guards bowed low but gave Guarity such a GLARE that a lesser pony might have burst into flames. As soon as they were out Guarity motioned to Grapes to enter.
"Might I present to you Master Winemaker, Owner of Grapevine Hills Vineyards and keen observer of pony society, Sour Grapes of Ponyville."
Grapes trotted to the front of the throne, set down her crates, and genuflected, properly, before the sovereign. "Good day, your Royal Highness. I hope the nobles haven't been too obvious in their desire to take advantage of the common ponies."
"No more than usual. Fortunately I have completely TRUSTWORTHY ponies such as my Royal Vizier to call upon," she said, a slight telltale smirk on her face. No doubt she wasn't just in on the joke, she authored it, notarized it and distributed it by hoof.
Grapes grinned, impishly. "Glad to hear it, Your Royal Highness. You certainly surround yourself with interesting, and lively personalities."
Celestia rose and descended the dais with a grace that reminded grapes of how the light of the sun slowly moved across the floor when it came through her bedroom window. She stood a moment before Grapes and then smiled. "You've guessed the truth about Guarity, haven't you?"
"If one knows what to look for, it's obvious," Grapes said, nodding, then continued with a slight smirk. "The main give-away is how he lampshades the whole trope. The scheming, conniving 'evil vizier' He is the very epitome of the stereotype, from oozing robes, to what is obviously a naturally less than savory appearance. I was, however, taught to look beyond the surface, and see things for what they are, not how they appear to be."
"I may have to include a lampshade-shaped headpiece now," Guarity said as he went to the balcony and opened the Prancian doors wide to let in fresh air.
"It's a turn of phrase," Grapes said to Guarity. "It means to call attention to the very obvious use of a trope. It's also a literary device used to help preserve suspension of disbelief."
"Guarity is perhaps one of my most loyal and indispensable members of my royal staff," Celestia agreed before motioning for Grapes to follow her to the balcony. "He is an absolute GEM of a find. He has a talent for dealing with the... the seamier side of politics."
Guarity smiled at Grapes and pulled his robe up in the back, showing off a cutie mark that bore a green cloak and a silver dagger. "It's a gift." Grapes merely grinned, as she picked up her crate and followed Celestia out onto the balcony.
"Nothing like a natural talent in cloak and dagger dealings," she said.
The three of them stepped out onto the balcony and there was a small table set for tea-time with a gorgeous view of the city and a large portion of Equestria. Guarity brought out a pair of Velour pillows for the mares and setting them at the two plates, bowed.
"If you'll forgive me, Princess I have some matters to attend to. Annoying Impertancance, Terrorising the staff, accepting bribes... the usual. Please enjoy your wine tasting. The server will be bringing up an assortment of small cakes shortly," the sinister looking unicorn said bowing.
"Thank you Guarity," Celestia said with a regal nod.
He left without fanfare and only once he was gone did Celestia speak. "He really does keep the Palace staff on their hooves. I cannot keep track of every detail, even with the return of my sister it is a full trough to keep track of, especially those who wich to take advantage of my good nature. I found him at my school for gifted unicorns some time ago. He was frequently snubbed, teased and bullied... but of all the students there, only he had the wit to recognise the entry examination for what it was." Grapes raised an eyebrow, and began unpacking her crate. Chateau D'Chevalier, Chateau D'Royal and Chateau D'Imperial were set by a pair of unassuming bottles. One of a glorious pink substance, and one of a... well... light green. She then brought out the cheese, and unwrapped it, and after that the tasting glasses. Grapes nodded at the arrangement and opened the Chateau D'Chevalier to breath a bit.
"And what is it, exactly?" Grapes asked.
"Well tell me this, Miss Grapes. You have studied hard to use your magical potential and come to the entry examination, and suddenly you are presented with a magical task not covered by the basic texts. Say... hatching the egg of a Dragon," Celestia posited, gazing at the brown unicorn intently. “What would you think?”
"I would think that the teachers had set me up to fail," Grapes said bluntly.
"Precisely. But while the solution of the test is not the failure in itself... but how well you handle it. We're teaching students how to harness magic... unless they can accept failure as a stepping stone to success then they could be more of a danger to themselves and the world than most would believe. Not only did Guarity see the test for what it was... he surprised the judges by pointing it out to them," the solar princess explained.
"Hm. Interesting," Grapes observed, thoughtfully. "Well, as for the wine, I'm sure you're acquainted with my most well known vintages."
"Oh yes. They are often a big hit at the Galloping gala every year... especially by those ponies who wish to be seen with a glass of them in their possession," Celestia observed.
"Well, at least they're helping me live another year, pay my bills, and workers," Grapes said deadpan.
"Sometimes you look at your hard work and wish it was appreciated for the effort you put into it, don't you?" the gloriously white alicorn queried with a raised eyebrow.
"Is it that obvious?" Grapes uttered deadpan, with a slight smirk, then chuckled. "So... I hope I haven't disappointed TOO much. It's rather nice to meet you, in person, by the way."
"And I am pleased to meet a Fellow Tradespony on equal hoofing," Celestia said with a smile. "You work in soil and vine while I work hard at constantly building, shaping, fixing and in general keeping Equestria in one piece. All these centuries of peace and comfort are not easily come to... or maintained. To be honest, you do NOT disappoint.”
Grapes grinned, and poured a sample of the Chateau D'Chevalier. "This is my most popular - and least expensive - wine. Well known for being perfect for anything from a simple dinner, to relaxation. Apparently it's good in cooking, too." A quiet servant brought in some brightly colored pastries, just in time for the tasting. Celestia looked at the wine through the glass, examined the color, smelled the bouquet then took a sip.
"Very pleasant. I can see how it would work well as a cooking alcohol as well."
"The other two are exclusive Gala vintages," Grapes said opening the Chateau D'Royal. "I find them to be exceptional, but it's all a matter of opinion."
"I'm certain they'll be quite nice. So I hear you and my... I mean Twilight Sparkle are getting along nicely. It's gratifying that her social circle is slowly expanding," Celestia observed, correcting herself for some reason.
Grapes raised an eyebrow at the correction, but said nothing. "It's nice to have somebody to talk about literature, science, and astronomy," Grapes said. "She seemed to be quite happy that I knew who Starswirl the Bearded was, and what he contributed."
"I must confess it hurt me a little that she preferred her studies to meeting other ponies and making friends when she was under my tutelage." Celestia drained her glass and returned it to Grapes for a refill with he next vintage. "One really shouldn't let school get in the way of one's education."
Grapes chuckled, as she poured the next vintage into the glass, not putting TOO much into it. "So very true. But that seems to have changed for the better... Having my cousin, Applejack, drag her to the vineyard, along with the others was funny."
"Oh yes. She was impressed by your pegasai workhooves. I believe that Guarity said they are also in my employ as part of the Royal Equestrian Rogue Weather Bureau. It's good to see somepony is keeping them out of trouble in their less active moments," the alicorn said meditatively.
"Well... They all have a fantastic work ethic, and have been doing very well on the Vineyard," Grapes observed with a smile. "They're becoming good friends, too."
Celestia sipped at her wine and nodded. "A much bolder flavor with smoky undertones. I like it. I have to admit that Ponyville has seen much in it's time... truth be told it is a 'hot-spot' for strange activity. It was no accident that I chose it as the location to have my thousandth anniversary of the summer sun festival, nor to send Twilight there. It shouldn't have surprised me so much that you wrote me a Friendship report out of the blue like that, and yet it did."
"Well... It was a case of Friendship Report from a random pony who just happened to be Applejack's cousin," Grapes said jokingly. "But it just seemed appropriate for some odd reason. "You seem to enjoy my letters, so I keep writing," the winemaker added with a shrug, opening the Chateau D'Imperial.
"Well after so many ponies bowing or plotting it's good to hear from ordinary citizens on what's going on. I sometimes wish I could be like Guarity and use illusions to disguise myself and walk unnoticed among the other ponies,” Celestia said wistfully.
"You're kind of a hard pony to hide, Your Highness," Grapes uttered with a slight smirk.
"Why thank you."
Grapes chuckled, with a slight grin. "I don't suppose Twilight's been writing about me has she? I showed her how I balance both sides of my heritage, and she seemed intrigued by it."
"Actually she has. She mentioned you were like sandpaper. Abrasive at first, but often resulting in a smoother finish once you were done."
Grapes smiled a bit, as she unwrapped the cheese, and sliced it. "That was nice of her to say."
"Yes. And now that you are here in person I can say that I find your blunt honesty to be refreshing. I might tire of it if exposed to it too much but in small doses..." the Princess said as she took another sip of the wine and nodded. "So you've had an evening to take in the sights of Canterlot. What is your opinion?"
"In all honesty, I didn't see much. I discovered, quite to the dismay for someone who's friends are, for a large part, pegasai that I'm afraid of heights. I'm fine as long as I don't look down, though, so the chariot ride was all right," Grapes said thoughtfully. "Oak Cask's restaurant was very nice, and the Dew Drop Inn was incredibly pleasant, and homey."
"I'm so pleased to hear that. It was on Guarity's suggestion that we currently use it for visiting tradesponies and I suspect Impertinence doesn't put up a fuss over that because it's on the inexpensive side. I wish I could see it for myself but he assures me that it's rather nice, and the restaurant next door quite pleasant... he's even brought me some boxed lunches from there on occasion,” Celestia mused, with a small smile.
"Makes you wish for a good illusion spell, hm?" Grapes observed, as she waited for the Princess to finish her current glass of wine.
"Well, one that can disguise a full-grown Alicorn, reasonably well. I just love Oak Cask's wheatgrass smoothies, and would love to have one as it was meant to be drunk. With him talking your ear off," Celestia said smirking and placed the empty glass down and arched an eyebrow at the cheese. "I didn't realise you brought a selection of cheese as well. Branching out, are we?"
"It's for one of the selections that I brought. It absolutely has to have a good sharp cheddar to taste right," Grapes said pouring a measure of Chateau D'Imperial. "You notice that one of the wines is a distinctive green color, correct? I will explain when we get to it."
"Oh. Very well.. I like surprises... most often anyways. There are always some that I'm never prepared for... like Parasprites. I found your letter on what happened in Ponyville to be.. informative."
"It was... interesting. I think Twilight tried a smidge too hard. But it is, apparently, a mistake that many mages have made," Grapes mused, thoughtfully. “Though it’s often hard to tell which would be the better choice. Save the food, or the structures.”
Celestia nodded and sipped at the Chateau D'Imperial. "Yes... I made the same mistake when in Fillydelphia."
"Tried to save the food, and ended up with a town full of holes, hm? I hope you found the solution, in time..." Grapes smiled up at Celestia. "Nice to hear that even you can make mistakes, though. Makes you seem more equine, instead of the plaster icon that most prefer to see you as."
"Oh yes.. fortunately I thought to undo the spell, making them normal once more... and then Pinkie Pie arrived shortly afterwards. She is rather talented, even if I had that song in my head for DAYS afterwards," the Princess uttered, with a roll of her eyes.
"I know, right?! Even now I find myself humming that blasted polka," Grapes uttered, bringing her hooves to her head in an overly dramatic gesture.
Celestia laughed and nodded. “I only got the tune out of my head after I transcribed the music into the Canterlot library of musical scores. I didn't know what else to call it other than Pinkie Pie's Parasprite Polka."
"Annoyingly catchy, isn't it?"
"Oh yes. I noticed the archivist started humming it after he read the sheet music," Celestia observed, chuckling.
"And how are you enjoying the most expensive wine of my Vineyard, Your Highness?" Grapes said, moving oh so carefully away from the subject of the annoyingly catchy Parasprite Polka.
"Oh it's delicious. It's so very... rich. I can nearly taste the history of your vineyard in it."
"Thank you," Grapes said with a grin. "These two, though... They're interesting. From a line I call 'Applejack Wagers'. There's a story behind that."
"Oh really now?" Celestia asked with a smirk. "Care to share the tale while you pour?"
"Well, as you know, I love across the road from Sweet Apple Acres, so Applejack and I grew up together. When I was young, impetuous and rather full of myself, after I had learned how to make wine, I bragged to Aye Jay that I could probably make anything into a potent potable. So Applejack took it upon herself to see if that was true," Grapes explained.
"Oh my. Such bravado to be called upon,” Celestia chuckled.
"Well... The first ever experiment was a failure, and a success. I made an alcohol from asparagus, but it wasn't palatable... But then Applejack forgot to make that a condition."
The princess giggled and nodded. "I cannot imagine asparagus alcohol."
"It tasted horrible, but made good lamp fuel," Grapes said drolly. "Now this is broccoli wine," she added pouring a very small measure. "In order for it to taste good, you need to take a bit of the cheese, chew it a bit, then take a sip of the wine."
"You came prepared," Celestia observed taking up some of the cheese. "And thank you for the warning... Between you and I, broccoli has been the bane of my existence since I was a foal."
"Really?" Sour Grapes asked, curiously
"Yes... well broccoli and alfalfa."
"You too?" Grapes asked sounding astonished.
"You as well?" the Princess asked, surprised.
"Alfalfa... I hate alfalfa..."
"I often made Luna fear the Alfalfa monster when I was forced to eat the horrid stuff," Celestia said with an air of nostalgia.
"Alfalfa monster?" Grapes queried, giggling. "Seriously?"
The princess giggled, and rolled her eyes. "I'm afraid so. She was my little sister and so I would do what an older sibling would do with a younger when eating such nasty stuff. "
Grapes tilted her head. "Uhm... I wouldn't know what an older sibling would do with a younger, when eating that horrid stuff. I'm an only child."
"Ah... well it involves chewing alfalfa then displaying it and growling out "Alfalfa Monster! Bleaugh!" the white alicorn exclaimed, waving her forelegs in a mock-menacing manner.
Grapes made a face. "Bleugh..." she said, then chuckled.
"Oh it was oodles of fun. She would squeal out 'eww' and giggle and somehow having to eat it wasn't quite so bad," the Princess chuckled, smiling at the happy memory. “The only way I would eat broccoli back then was when cheese was poured all over it first."
"Yeah. I'm kind of perturbed and amused about making a wine that practically requires cheese to taste good," Grapes observed.
Celestia chewed thoughtfully before sipping at the green drink and making a slight face. "I think... it could be a hit at a wine and cheese party.”
"Now you know why I didn't give you much," Grapes said with a slight grin. "Do you like watermelon?"
"Actually, yes. I can't be seen enjoying one in public... not the way they were MEANT to be enjoyed anyways." Celestia rolled her eyes dramatically and gestured in a very un-royally dramatic manner. "Oh yes! It's perfectly FINE for a princess to have small cubes of watermelon on little toothpicks but Heaven and Earth FORBID you want a large slice and a spittoon."
Grapes blinked. "You'll have to excuse me, Your Highness, but I need to collapse in laughter, right now. I'll be right back." And with that rather polite declaration, she did. "Oh, by the sun and stars," Grapes gasped between guffaws, "that's about as good as Grannie Smith going on about Hasslehoof!"
The princess grinned and nodded. "I'm sorry if that came out less than princessly but I have been dying to say that to somepony they way I felt about it. There is only so much I can confide in Guarity about.”
Grapes slowly got back to her feet, still giggling. "So... One-at-a-time, or repeater crossbow?"
"It's been so long I don't honestly know... " the alicorn admitted with a smile. "If on your next trip you could smuggle a watermelon in I'll share it with my sister and let you know."
"All right. I'll have to see what I can do. Maybe get Twilight to help me with that. Some kind of holding bag so it won't be obvious," Grapes mused, thoughtfully. "ANYway," she continued, pulling out a clean tasting glass, "I present for your tasting pleasure watermelon wine. I have it on good authority that it's twenty percent cooler than other wines... But that's just one pegasus' opinion."
"By all means. Let's see what we have."
"Fluttershy seemed to enjoy it too," Grapes said, as she poured the dark pink hued wine into the clean glass. "Actually they all did."
Celestia looked at the pink colored fluid through the glass and smiled. "Well I can honestly say that I like the hue. It's so cheery."
"I hope you'll enjoy the taste, Your Highness. I haven't come up with a good name for it, yet, but I think I'll leave that to my new marketing manager."
Celestia savored the sample for a moment, then smiled. "Something with the word 'summer' in it would not be amiss. I can see this as a picnic favorite."
Grapes nodded. "I can see that."
"Oh I am so enjoying this one. I may have to have a crate shipped to my personal stock... but then I'd need a personal stock to begin with," the Princess mused, thoughtfully.
"Well thankfully I can get you started with a 'personal stock' with this stuff. Hmmm... 'Summer Sunrise' sound good?" Grapes asked, after a moment’s thought.
"That sounds very pleasant. I'd go with that, myself."
"Glad you like it. I'll be sure to ship you a case of Summer Sunrise, then," Grapes said with a grin. "And anything else you'd like, of course. I'd use the D'Royal, and D'Imperial for your formal functions. Known expensive, so your delegates will think you're going all out for them. A little pampering makes ponies pliant."
"Wonderful. I'll have Impertinence deal with the appropriate paperwork for shipping then." The princess agreed before taking another sip. "Do you have anything cheap that can be passed off as Elite? Blueblood's birthday is coming up soon."
Grapes did a full body shudder. "I'd be tempted to foist off the broccoli wine on him, Your Highness. He is a complete and utter git."
She smirked and nodded "I know... and yes. I do belive that your Broccli Wine would no doubt be a big hit at his party. The rich and witless would spend incredible amounts of money if they thought bad taste was trendy."
"And it'd probably help the Trottingham cheese makers," Grapes said with a smirk. "Never mind get that barrel of broccoli wine out of my cellar."
"I'll take it," Celestia laughed. "Put it in some expensive-looking bottles and I'll tell him I spent four times the price it actually cost."
"Deal, Your Highness," Grapes laughed, offering a hoof to either shake or be bumped in triumph.
The deal was sealed between the two mares, and after sharing some more time together with small talk, tea and danties, Guarity made his appearance to show Grapes the grounds while Celestia got back to business. As the two walked through the Royal Gardens, Guarity paused to look up at a rather impressive statue of a draconequus before he glanced back at her.
"So how was your time with the Princess?"
"It was nice to finally meet her in person. She's quite likeable," Grapes observed.
"I know... I so wish all of Equestria could see her that way, but there are far too many who would try to take advantage of her in that respect. She used to get so... lonely. I try to be her friend as much as I can without breaking protocol. She got a little better when she took Twilight under her wing, and now that Princess Luna is back she's nearly beaten all those spells of melancholy she used to fall into. I suspect that having an ordinary pony to speak to openly and honestly will be good for her,” Guarity said, as they trotted along. Well Grapes trotted, he flowed, as usual.
"I bet nobody appreciates how positively impish she can be," Grapes mused, thoughtfully.
"Oh yes.. she has quite the sense of humor. Twilight helped to rekindle that a little... she used to 'sic' me on her to teach her illusionary magic."
Grapes chuckled heartily. "So how do YOU eat watermelon? One-at-a-time, or repeater crossbow?" she asked with a smirk.
"One at a time, thank you very much." Guarity said matter-of-factly. "I get better accuracy and distance."
"I'm definately going to have to see if Twilight can make me a holding bag, now..." Grapes chuckled. "Princess Celestia can't remember which one she preferred."
"Now that's proof that you're helping her out of her shell,” the vizier said with a grin. "I can always smuggle the watermelons under falsified documents. I can claim them as Books, or vases or some such."
"Oh, it gets even worse," Grapes snickered. "I brought a libation of mine that's... interesting. A broccoli wine. Our beloved Princess thought it was a fine idea to foist it off on Blueballs -er- Blueblood's birthday."
Guarity laughed, a surprisingly rich voice from the sinister pony. "Oh... I don't know what's funnier. The gift, or your nickname for that boor."
"So he hasn't changed in the past four years. He's still the biggest nothing in the principality."
"Well I wouldn't go QUITE that far... There are others worse than he. But he's still a contender for first place,” the vizier said thoughtfully.
"He still does nothing to help the equine condition, and contributes nothing to the greater good, apparently," Grapes said, sourly.
"He believes his only purpose is to 'inspire' other ponies to his 'ideal',” Guarity muttered with a roll of his scarlet eyes.
"Hemph. So the only thing he's good for is paying tradesponies like myself his bits for the trinkets he thinks are imporant. Typical. I think half of Canterlot heard me tell him that to his stuck-up snobby face. Too bad Rarity's setting herself up for a huge disappointment," Grapes said shaking her head, sadly.
"Is she a smart pony?"
"She's a savvy businesspony, and one of the up-and-coming fashion designers, but she's got a 'thing' for Royalty, unfortunately. I'm sure she, and my poor cousin, Applejack, are probably setting themselves up for disappointment."
"But they are bright enough to know when the truth is right in front of them?"
"Possibly. Though Rarity may convince herself she can change a sow's ear into a silk purse," Grapes said with a roll of her eyes.
"Hmmm... Depending on the strength of her resolve, she may have a chance of succeeding. To date YOU have been the only pony who has ever confronted him on ANY issue. All the others think that his fewmets smell like roses, and tell him so," Guarity observed, casually.
"If I didn't dislike the Gala so much, I'd want to be here, when Rarity finally gets tired of his boorishness."
"Can you keep a secret, Miss Grapes? Ah! Of course you can, silly me," Guarity said with a chuckle. "Very well then... Between you and I, there is another reason for my existence as the Royal Vizier. It's more than just keeping the ponies on their hooves thinking a sharper mind that Celestia is stalking about. Sometimes... sometimes..." he grew quiet and Grapes saw the puckish caviler attitude drain out of him for a moment. "...Sometimes our Princess needs to make difficult decisions. Hard choices that are for the greater good, but extremely unpopular in the eyes of her subjects. Some of these decisions can undermine the people's trust in her, and so... I am... I'm...here to provide her with plausible deniability.”
"So you're a professional scapegoat, hm? I can see the need, though. Everypony needs to see her has a benign ruler, not somepony who makes harsh decisions which may seem horrible in the short term, but will have long-range benefits,” Grapes said thoughtfully.
"Not many ponies have a long-term view of things... They see one, ten maybe twenty years down the road at best. Dear Princess Celestia has to see her kingdom in centuries. What seems harsh today may have a glorious repercussion two hundred years from now,” Guarity observed.
"Not everypony has her longevity."
The vizier hesitated and gave a giggle. "I might... after a fashion. I've only been doing this for a few decades now, but I've been doing such a good job Ponies are SWEARING that I was the one who suggested Luna's banishment."
Grapes had to laugh. "Your reputation is retroactive," she uttered with a grin.
"I know... I hate to say it but even Princess Luna is second guessing herself. Her memories as Nightmare Moon are... befuddling for her,” Guarity said, obviously concerned.
"Well, she may need to get out more. Being stuck, here, can't be good for her."
"It's hard for her to take that step. She's ashamed of the actions of her other self, because she gave voice to her own secret feelings... as distorted as they became. She's actually coming out into the garden during daylight now," Guarity observed, as they strolled about the guardens.
"Hm. Foal-steps, I suppose," Grapes mused.
"FORSOOTH! ANOTHER GLORIOUS DAY IN THE ROYAL GARDENS! MY, MY SISTER'S ROSES LOOK LOVELY THIS AFTERNOON!" came a painfully amplified voice from the middle of the gardens.
"GAH!" Grapes yelped.
"Ah... that would be her. Pardon me."
"Oh my poor aching ears," Sour Grapes groaned.
Grapes followed behind Guarity, trying NOT to be seen by the lunar princess. Mainly not to disturb the alicorn. She watched as Guarity stuffed cotton into his own ears and ducked quickly behind a large hedge.
"Gooooood afternoon, your Majesty. Good to see you up and about."
"AH! ROYAL VIZIER! IT PLEASES US TO SEE THEE AGAIN. TELL OUR SISTER THAT WE WISH TO TAKE TEA TOGETHER AROUND SIX. WE WISH TO DISCUSS THE UPCOMING ECLIPSE."
"As you wish oh, luminescent one. May I direct you to the grand Lunar fountain in the eastern portion of the garden. The Sculptors have repaired the damage you accidentally caused last month."
"AH, THAT IS GOOD. I DID NOT MEAN TO ATTACK IT SO... I SIMPLY DID NOT CARE FOR NIGHTMARE MOON TO BE IMMORTALISED THUS."
"True, but it is part of Equestrian history. We DID however add a statue to represent your current countenance. It comes across as rather striking."
"VERY WELL. WE SHALL GO AND SEE IT. WE HOPE SUCH A COMPROMISE PLEASES US GREATLY."
Grapes simply sat on her haunches, her ears covered. "Great googlie mooglie... Does she think we're all deaf?"
“I hope it pleases you as well, your grace. Oh yes, we did get an assortment of wine samples today. Your sister may wish your opinion on them later on."
"WE TRUST OUR SISTER'S JUDGEMENT BUT AS SHE SEEKS OURS WE SHALL THEN GIVE IT. THANK THEE VERY MUCH ROYAL VISIER. WE SHALL LOOK AT THE FOUNTAIN NOW."
"Good day to you then, Princess. I shall let your sister know of tea time." Guarity returned to Grapes and winced as he pulld the cotton from his ears. "Well... my horn is extra curly today."
"Why does she talk with her volume cranked to eleven?"
"It's how they... that is, Canterlot ROYALTY, used to speak in the way back time. I'm uncertain if she even remembers how to speak quietly. "
"They used to shout? Why?" Sour Grapes asked with an inquisitive tilt to her head.
"I haven't the foggiest. It's up there with them using the royal 'WE' when speaking... I'm just glad that the trend has fallen out in the last thousand years. Luna is somewhat behind the times, trying to adapt to innovations and new social conventions... she actually was fearful a Stallion's unshorn fetlocks would incite the present mares to a riotous lust."
"Not my thing," Grapes said drolly.
"No... I suspect your thing might be more towards practical ponies with strong backs and an even stronger work ethic," Guarity observed with a smirk.
"Got to have a brain, too," Grapes uttered with a smirk. "I actually like intellectual stimulation."
“Ah... were I younger... and better looking, better shape too, I might take the risk of rejection. As it stands I'm enjoying the relationship, I have with Impertinence. She's so... cute when she's furious."
Grapes raised an eyebrow at that.
"What? I personally would like to see what she's hidden under that armor plate she calls a personality."
Grapes chuckled. "It's been said it's always the quiet ones," she chuckled. "I wouldn't exactly quantify Impertinence as 'quiet', however. But somebody that... well... repressed has got to have a really bucking wild side that's just itching to be let out."
"Oh. I would like you to know that SOMEhow your room has been booked for five days rather than a day. Fancy that. If you wish to make the best of it there are a lot of things about Canterlot you might wish to take in before heading home," the Vizier said impishly
"Wait.. what? I thought I was here for the weekend... I don't suppose we could ask the Princess to send a letter to Lady Weathervein... I need to tell Stormfront he's in charge for longer than I thought..."
"I can deal with that, quite promptly. As Royal Vizier I have some resources at my disposal too, you know," Guarity said with a smirk.
"Unless you can send a letter to someone who could receive D-Mail directly... That would be quicker," Grapes mused, thoughtfully.
"You mean Twilight Sparkle? Consider it done.
"Actually, I meant Stormfront. He can get a letter sort of 'poofed' to him from Weathervain... But I'm not sure how that would work, but Twilight does know Stormy, so that may be quicker... Just wasn't expecting an extended stay."
"You don't HAVE to stay. It just seemed a little silly for you to come for a day of work and leave," Guarity said with a shrug.
“Well, it does, kind of, to me, too, but... Well... It was what I was expecting. I haven't really had a vacation in ages, either, but now with the Storm Riders as farmhooves, I can take advantage of the extra time," Sour Grapes said with a grin.
"Alright then. I'll inform Miss Weathervain of your extended stay and she can have Smudge pass along the information to her charges," the bone white unicorn asserted with a nod.
Grapes nodded, and smiled. "Sounds good. I guess I could wander around a bit, and see the sights. Never been here before, after all."
"Oh... and one more thing..." A small silver key came out of his robes and levitated over to her. "To the Royal Library. I believe you will find it rather illuminating."
"Thank you," Grapes said with a nod.
"Twilight did mention that you were one of the most well-read ponies in Ponyville. You actually read that book on Obscure Unicorn History."
"Yes, yes I did," Grape asserted, with a grin. "And I know who Starswirl the Bearded was, as well as Geode the Earthy."
"Oh! That's not a commonly known obscure Unicorn, either," Guarity said, sounding impressed.
"I rather like old Geode... Heh... I've also read 'On the Confluence of Magics'. Starswirl the Bearded seemed to have quite the thing for pegasai, if chapter six is to be believed," the winemaker said with a small laugh.
"Mmm Yes. Of course one has to read between the lines for it," the vizier mused, thoughtfully.
"True. I'm kind of good at that," Grapes said with a slight smirk.
"It may have been such an infatuation that lead to his study of the inherent magic all three pony species. How else would he hide it?" Guarity queried, obviously enjoying the conversation
"Hm. True. But that chapter helped me balance my earth pony abilities with unicorn magics. Can't do much with either, they being at half power, but I'm good at what I can do," the brown unicorn explained, as they walked back to the entrance.
"I noticed how well you manipulated that heavy crate. That's some rather strong Ponykinesis," the vizier observed.
"Earth pony strength bleeds into ponykenesis. But I can only levitate one thing at the time. I can lift heavy things, but I can't juggle them to save my life," Grapes explained.
"But still impressive. So the guards now know who you are, and have instructions to let you come and go from the library as you see fit," Guarity explained.
"Thank you, Guarity. I appreciate it."
"Now go forth, remember that your meal bill at the hotel is covered by the castle but everything else is up to you... Are you good?" Guarity asked, obviously concerned.
"I'm good. Both in virtue, and in well being," Grapes replied with a slight smirk. With that, she bid the Royal Vizier adeau, and went back to her hotel, for the evening. Tomorrow she was going to start on her long overdue vacation, and explore the city.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Curing Final Harvest Melancholy
Sour Grapes got off the train, glad to be back at Ponyville. Canterlot is a nice place, and was a nice change of pace, but she was never one for the big city. Ponyville felt smaller, and less crowded but far more welcoming. If Canterlot was always standing at attention, Ponyville was seated on a bench offering you the seat next to it. She started heading over to where her luggage was being offloaded along with the souvenirs she had splurged on. She always prided herself on not being an impulse buyer but she couldn't resist a few of those items. It was then that she noticed a large number of ponies all in a group against the station wall. She turned to take a good look and saw all of her Farmooves standing there with wide smiles on their faces... and little Earshot holding up a plank of wood with "MisS SouR GrApes" scrawled on it in bright yellow paint. Grapes had to laugh.
"Hey, everypony. Did you miss me?" she asked, a smile on her face.
"YES!" came the unanimous cry, causing the ponies at the train station to turn their heads in time to see Grapes getting mobbed by her workers.
"How was it?"
"Did you meet the Princess?"
"Did they like your wine"
"Did the green wine make anypony sick?"
"Did you bring us anything?"
"How was your trip?" The questions came fast and numerous until she held up her hooves and they settled down. It was like being mobbed by a horde of schoolfoals, to be honest. Grapes found it rather amusing, but it warmed her heart that the pegasai missed her so.
"Come on! Come On Miss Grapes! We got some lunch waiting for you at Sugarcube corner!" Earshot said tugging on her vest. "Thistledown has the cart waiting out front."
"Wow... I wasn't expecting such a warm welcome," Grapes said, as she was tugged along.
"Well we figured you might actually miss the company of your hired weirdos," Stormy joked as he took the saddlebags from her back and put them on his own. "You know... seeing as Canterlot is so full of those stuffy high-society ponies with their noses in the air and riding crops shoved so far... uh no offence Queenie."
"Oh you know I don't take such commentary personally Stormfront. But I'm certain such generalisms don't hold for everypony in Canterlot."
“That’s definitely not true of Princess Celestia,” Grapes observed, as she trotted along with her luggage cart to the cart of a different sort that Thistledown was watching over. It took her a moment to recognise the old all-purpose cart they used on the farm. Someone had repaired it... no not even repair, it had been given a total overhaul. Tired timbers had been replaced, corners smoothed, the wheels now were more decorative and the whole thing was given a rather sharp paintjob of bright yellow with a stylised stencil version of the Vineyard Label on the side in wine-purple. Thistledown stood there grinning, all trussed up at the front and wearing one of the vests that Rarity had been working on. The sunshine yellow one that matched the cart.
"Welcome home Boss. Hop on in and I'll trot you over to Sugarcube corner," the green pony called.
"What has been going on in my absence?" Grapes asked, nearly doing a jaw-drop at the refurbished cart.
"Well Miss Rarity came by with some really nice workvests for us. She said she wanted us to try on the different colors for a while to see what seemed to work for us. So for the past few days we've been trotting about with different colored vests and I have to admit sometimes pockets come in handy. And to be honest I like the yellow one and I felt the poor cart had seen better days so I convinced everypony to help me fix her up for you," Thistledown replied. Grapes loaded her luggage then climbed aboard, herself.
“I hadn’t even ordered the vests, yet,” Grapes said with a sigh. “Leave it to Rarity to take the initiative. I wonder how much I owe her?”
"Oh these aren't the final product." Thistledown said letting Grapes take a closer look. It was indeed lacking the careful stitching, dense fabric, embroidered logo and other details that were typically 'Rarity'. "See? She did these mock-ups for us to wear so when she collects them later from us she can see how they have worn out as we work as well as get our opinions on colors best suited for us. She normally doesn't make 'off-the-rack' so she has to make these as generic as possible so that later on she... or Celestia forbid... any other tailor or seamstress can make adjustments with minimal effort."
"Not looking forward to the bill, even so," Grapes said quietly.
"Gotta admire her professionalism. I mean look at the way this flatters my flank... and for a mock-up it's like wearing nothing at all," Thistledown enthused merrily, as they made their way to Sugarcube Corner. Grapes chuckled, shaking her head. The trip there was short, as most trips inside of Ponyville proper were, and the Cakes were happy to see her, as with all their customers (except maybe Dustbin but that was for some fairly specific reasons). A table had been set up outside and an assortment of treats brought out to them and some fresh lemonade to start with.
“Geez, you guys,” Grapes laughed. “Okay. What happened, while I was gone, hm? Did the bunkhouse fall down around your ears? Do I have a house, or vineyard to return to?” It was obvious she was joking.
"Well a few things went totally tail over teakettle but most of it we were able to get under control," Stormy said before earshot bumped in.
"Yeah! we had a storm while you were gone and the lightning hit the old barn but Firestormer got us organized to put it out awful fast!"
"Eh. Best she hears about it now than when she finds the charred lumber on the comp-pile,” Firestormer observed.
“Well... It was just taking up space, since Dad build that new barn,” Grapes observed. “Any other disasters I need to know about?”
Sirocco coughed into her hoof. "Just that when young Earshot went into town to mail a package we had a... mass-bunny migration," said the umber-coated pegasus, before pausing a moment looking a little uncomfortable. "I would swear by the sun and moon that they seemed to be taking advantage of his absence. Fortunately flight does not take long so he was back before they could deal any damage on an unrecoverable scale. It did make for a... tense hour on the vineyard."
“While the Night Pony’s away, the bunnies will play, huh?” Sour Grapes asked, chuckling. “Why does that not surprise me?” They all chuckled over that and they spent an hour or two just playing catch-up on what had happened around Ponyville in general in her absence. Thankfully it was not much. Lovely thing about living in a small town is that it was relatively quiet. There had been word that a dragon had planned to take a long nap in the mountains just outside of town, resulting in some thick smoke drifting in. As usual Twilight Sparkle had gathered her friends and they went off and dealt with it rather quickly.
"Miss Sparkle seems to always be in the thick of things, doesn't she?" Commented Firestormer as he stirred a hoofull of Cinnamon Red-hots into his coffee.
“Pretty much,” Grapes commented, as she sipped her own morning libation, and munched a cinnamon roll. “But then, she and her friends are national heroes... Not that anypony would know it.”
"You're kidding. I know that purple pony is the personal, perpetual Professor's pet to the Princess but a National hero? What did she do?"
"Recovered the Elements of Harmony, and defeated Nightmare Moon," Grapes replied. "Along with my cousin, Applejack, and the rest of her best pals."
"Oh. Yes... well... that would definitely be heroic," he said sounding rather surprised. For an instant Grapes noticed the strangest look on Firestormer's face. The others no doubt dismissed it as the embarrassment of being caught belittling somepony else's accomplishments before finding out they were actually grand ones. But that wasn't it at all. If she didn't know better she could have sworn that for a brief moment it was a look of intense guilt.
“You look like a pony with a lot in his past,” Grapes observed astutely.
"What? Oh... no. Sorry. It's nothing really worth," he began before Queenie leaned against him, nudging him slightly.
"Ah, he's probably suddenly feeling like his big shiny medal isn't big or shiny enough compared to the accomplishments of Miss Sparkle and her friends." Grapes gave Queenie a flat look.
"Queenie, don't you have someplace to be ?"
Queenie made a show of thinking about it before saying in an equally flat tone "I think not. My friends are here, welcoming you back and you are here." she smirked, her tone playfully teasing, much to Firestormer's embarrassment. It was easy to see the relationship between the two was that of an Older sister and a younger brother. Grapes had to chuckle, and shrug.
“You know, as nice as this has been, I think, perhaps, we should head home... Before Pinkie gets it into her head to...” Grapes uttered, trailing off looking for the aforementioned mare. The sounds of an accordion began to fill the air heralding the appearance of a Pink Pony with an accordion between her forelegs and balancing a cake on her head as if it were a hat.
"Welcome Back Grapes! Nopony told me you were gone, I had to find out from Mr and Mrs Cake as to why you were all sitting out here!"
"Yeah, Pinkie, I just got back from spending a week in Canterlot," Grapes said, with a look on her face as if she was developing a migraine.
"Ooh. I have a song for that!" Pinkie exclaimed enthusiastically.
"No," Grapes uttered, trying to prevent a random musical number.
"You do?" Earshot said his ears perking up. Grapes facehoofed.
"Of course I do! What kind of pony would I be if I didn't have a song welcoming her friends back from Canterlot!"
"Wow. Can I hear it?" Earshot asked gleefully.
"Well it's for Grapes but sharing is caring! AH One and ah two and a..." The song was lively and blessedly short... and Grapes suspected she was making it up on the spot. After all 'Canterlot' didn't really rhyme all that well with 'Hugs-a-lot' but it was a decent attempt. And the cake made up for Pinkie's enthusiasm. Grapes considered very briefly asking Stormfront to bake her one of his cakes... if anything could slow this bundle of energy down it was his confectionaries.
“Thanks, Pinkie,” Grapes uttered, with a slight smirk and a roll of her eyes. “You’ve... outdone yourself.”
"Oh Your welcome! Now I gotta run, Vambrace is having his Barn-Mitzvah at four and I still gotta load my Party Cannon! Byeeeee!”
"Pinkie Pie... Best taken in small doses," Grapes uttered, as she got up.
“I like her, she's a breath of fresh air... granted it has the lingering odor of cotton candy, but still her perkiness is quite infectious," Queenie said with a giggle. Grapes simply rolled her eyes, and chuckled.
“Well, as fun as this has been, it’s time for me to get integrated back into the routine, lest I forget how,” Grapes uttered jokingly. “The weathermares and colts still eyeing the lot of you?” she asked, as they trotted away from Sugarcube Corner.
"Oh yes. Very much so." Sirocco said holding her head up a little more proudly than usual. "It may be my vanity speaking but sometimes it feels... gratifying to know others find you interesting enough to watch."
“Hm... True. But I’ve not seen a pony like yourself around here... You are unique, all by yourself, Sirocco,” Grapes observed. “Though maybe you’ll find yourself a special somepony. Who knows?”
"Perhaps one day I shall. The Ponies back home are not as... appreciative of a mare who knows her own mind. At least not in my herd," Sirocco said, sadly.
“It’s a wonder we don’t have more ponies from where you’re from immigrating here,” Grapes observed, as they trotted toward the farmlands.
"The world is a daunting place. Some ponies would rather stay with the Nightmare Moon they know... than the one they do not."
“Let me guess... There are stories about Princess Celestia being a tyrant?” Grapes asked, looking at Sirocco.
"Not so much a Tyrant but as harsh and unforgiving as the very sun she raises. It brings life but can also scorch and drain water from the land. It is understood by our kin that Benevolent does not always mean nice."
"That's rather brave of you then, to have come so far in the world, Sirocco,” Stormy observed.
"Thank you, Stormfront. But I could not have made it so far were it not for the one who came with me. He has gone on to fulfill his yearning to be a great actor while I follow my own dreams. We Creep in Touch," the exotic pegasus mare observed.
"That's 'keep in touch', Sirocco," Grapes corrected, automatically. They were just coming up to the turnoffs to Sweet Apple Acres and Grapevine Hills when Earshot's ears suddenly shot straight up and swiveled in all directions in an almost violent manner.
"Oh no!" he uttered.
"That does not sound good,” Grapes observed with a roll of her eyes.
"They're BACK!" he shouted as he began to gallop toward the frames in a mad dash, leathery wings flapping and adding to his speed. "Those little fluffy bundles of trouble came BACK!" The group watched as Earshot ran into the vine-shrouded frames and vanished from sight for a moment... then a large wave of bunnies, mice and moles all EXPLODED from the frames followed by an airborne Night-Pony, who suddenly looked very much like the creature of the night his people had earned a reputation for being. "You're NOT welcome here! Go AWAY!" Grapes sighed, shaking her head.
“Looks like I’m going to have to bring in a specialist,” the chocolate brown unicorn observed, as she watched the critters scramble away from the irate Night Pony.
The chaos that followed could have been considered pure comedy as Earshot flapped about the property, trying to both herd and drive off the nibbling horde. "Scoot! Move it! Don't me start a round of Nessun Draft Horse!" It was about all the Ponies around Grapes could do to keep from laughing. Finally after nearly ten minutes of amusing airborne antics it appeared they were finally rodent free.
Thistledown continued to giggle and wiped a tear of mirth from his eye. "Wow... he takes his job in Grapevine Hills Pest Control seriously," he observed.
“Everybody, check around for other creatures,” Grapes said. “There may be some hiding out in nooks and crannies.” They wandered off about the property. Searching around the property for any remaining critters. It was only after a thorough search that they declared the yards empty... all except for Earshot. They found him circling the old 'Copper Shed' on the far side of the property near the Everfree forest. He seemed to be 'singing' at it in his usual 'silent' way but with a frustrated look on his face.
"I think I got rid of most of them, Miss Grapes, but a few of them have taken refuge in... this weird shed of yours. I've been trying to drive them out but the shape and materials just bounce most of my sound off."
“The copper shed?” Grapes asked. “Did somebody leave the door open?”
"Ah.. that would have been I," Sirocco said raising a hoof. "My apologies but there was a terrible odor in there so for the sake of our nostrils I cleaned out the offending materials and was airing it out earlier. I guess the window of responsibility for the bunnies in this case was a door."
"Opportunity," Grapes said absently, mentally calculating how long it would take to get across town.
"Well..." Stormfront said bending down to get a good look at the base of the shed. "They're cornered.. but they're very well shielded. That's six inches of copper plate between us and them... and the angles are all wrong to get a grip on to carry it anywhere... are those... wheels?"
"Yeah, but all the mechanisms are all rusted solid. The lock works, and it's set up so you can't be sealed in from the outside... But if you lock yourself in, nobody's going to force you out, until you're good and darned ready,” Grapes explained.
"So the Bunnies in there are safer than we are, that's for sure. So now what? Wait them out?" Stormy asked, looking around at the others.
"Not a chance Stormfront... before we headed out to the train station I put some fresh sweetgrass down in there to sweeten the smell... They'll be fine for days," Sirocco said laying back her ears.
"It was a nice thought Sirocco. I don't suppose anyone here speaks Long-eared rodent?" Stormy said kindly.
"Nobody HERE. But there's Fluttershy,” Grapes observed.
Stormfront's head swiveled to look at the large dull green inverted cone of the Copper Shed where the bunnies made faces through the small round windows before turning back to her and deadpanning "I don't think time is an issue here."
“No. Time isn’t an issue, here. Fluttershy, herself, though, is,” Grapes said with a sigh. “She is, as her name would suggest... Well... Shy. Sometimes painfully so.”
"Well lass..." started Summer Squall "If that's the issue then assure her that we'll give her, all the space she needs to do her job."
“All right. I’ll go and get her,” Grapes said. “She knows me from around town... And from my asking her help, before.” There was no great hurry to get to Fluttershy's place but, Grapes felt silly trekking all the way clear across Ponyville just after getting home. Still it was something that needed to be done, and it probably was not good for bunnies to be left to their own devices in an old shed. She made a mental note that if she saw a cab on the way there... or back, to hire it. She really didn't feel a need to go back and forth more than what was necessary. Once Grapes got to the quaint turf hut, she sat on her haunches with a heavy sigh, taking a moment to catch her breath, before knocking on the door. The door slowly creaked open a crack and a wide light blue eye came into view. It blinked a moment, before it opened the rest of the way revealing the nearly painfully shy Pegasus.
"Hey, Fluttershy," Grapes said, sounding rather tired. "I've got a small problem. Small... furry problem... Well problems. Some bunnies have holed up in my copper shed."
"Oh. You have a shed for copper? That's a strange place for bunnies to hide, they usually prefer cool dark places made of earth and easy access to vegetables,” Fluttershy replied, tilting her head at the oddity.
"No, it's a shed made out of copper," Grapes explained. "My dad said it could be an old machine."
"Oh. And they're hiding in there? Maybe I could help. That is... if you want my help," the yellow pegasus uttered timidly.
"I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't , Fluttershy," Grapes replied.
"All right then. Let me just lock up and I'll be right with you,” Fluttershy said, as she briefly returned inside. Grapes could hear her admonishing her bunny to take care of things while she’s gone. This time Grapes was able to flag down a Cab. It would be worth the bits to save some energy on her part, and she knew it was a small price to pay for the free service that Fluttershy was providing. She never seemed to be concerned with bits. Grapes knew she MUST make money somehow but for the most part she simply could not work out where or how.
"Is there anything I can offer you? As compensation, I mean, for helping with the lapin problem?" Grapes asked. "It doesn't seem... right to just have you come in and persuade the bunnies that the shed isn't a nice place for them, without offering you something in return."
"Well... you make wine..." she said hesitantly "If you have a wine that's more sweet flavor than alcohol that would be a nice way to say thank-you."
"Hmm... I'll have to think about that. I have the watermelon wine, of course, and a new strawberry wine... I'm going to have to start growing watermelon, because I got something of a, uh, royal commission to make more of the watermelon," Grapes mused, as they pulled up outside the gates of Grapevine Hills. "And don't be afraid. The farmhooves are going to make sure to give you plenty of space so you can work."
"Oh... thank you. I really don't mind that much... I mean... they look like they're very nice and everything but... yes. I probably would need a little space," the timid yellow pegasus said, as Grapes escorted Fluttershy to the shed.
“Well here it is,” Grapes said gesturing to the shed. “And there they are.” She heard the familiar sound of leathery wings fluttering, and noticed a shadow cast from behind the shed. She had hoped that Earshot would have gone off with the others but no doubt he was taking this personally. Being the youngest pony on the farm he took his job here seriously, even if he had some fun with it.
"You guys gotta come out sometime. Come on... I'll even leave a bag of raisins at the front gate for you if you come out and go," Fluttershy murmured, cajolingly, then looked up at the leathery flapping. "Oh dear... I thought you said nopony would be around," she gasped, sounding frightened.
"That's Earshot. He's a youngster, and... a little different. Not like any pony anyone's ever seen," Grapes explained. "Want to meet him? I don't think you mind nocturnal critters, do you?"
"Oh I like nocturnal creatures. They have a sort of beauty all their own. Why do you ask?" Fluttershy queried, tilting her head curiously.
"You're back already Miss Grapes?" asked Earshot popping out from behind the copper shed. His goggles were up on his forehead letting his wide golden eyes gleam in the fading rays of sun. HIs Dark leathery wings were spread displaying their bat-like nature and Grapes heard Fluttershy gasp in her typical quiet manner... but what happened next was surprising.
"OH MY GOODNESS! A NIGHT-PONY! You're a Night-Pony! You... you're REAL!" the gorgeous yellow pegasus squeed cutely.
"I... well. YES. Yes I AM a Night-Pony. thank you for noticing," Earshot said, taken aback by the rather positive reception.
"Well that wasn't the reaction I was expecting," Grapes deadpanned.
"Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my. You're so cute! And you're not dissolving in the sun. That's good news. It wouldn't be a nice thing to have the sun wash you away like that," Fluttershy enthused quietly
"Is that what Ponies believe about us?" Earshot asked.
"You mean you don't know?" she queried, obviously surprised by his not knowing.
"Uh... not really. I'm the first to really get out among ponies in a serious way since... since the the fall of Princess Luna,” Earshot explained.
"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that."
“Don’t tell me you’re a Gracious Ardor fan...” Grapes uttered with a roll of her purple eyes.
"Oh yes! I have ALL of her books and... and..." she trailed off sounding a little embarrassed. "Well I've been reading about Night-Ponies in books from a lot of different writers. They're really... neat."
"You've got Crown Superior's books too? She's a hack," Grapes uttered, sounding dismissive of the entire Dusk series.
"Well... You have to have her books or you'll never keep up with the popular culture of... well..."
"Fluttershy, Crown Superior's works all sound like wish fulfillment fantasies of an unpopular secondary schooler. A helpless shrinking violet is wooed, and fought over by two warring tribes of fanciful creatures. Gracious Ardor... Heck, even that Pampelonne filly, writes more dynamic mare characters than Crown Superior," Grapes said, sounding incised.
“I... I know. But some ponies like a little Wish fulfillment," Fluttershy murmured, shyly, looking at her hooves.
"I'm not talking about the wish fulfillment aspect, but how the main character is just there to be fought over by the aforementioned fanciful creatures. She has no depth. Beautiful Purity was just... there," Grapes persisted.
"Well, yes. You're right about that. She was just too... convenient. And well... while it's nice to be wanted they did come across as treating her more as a possession,” Fluttershy conceded, sounding thoughtful.
"Even that Pampelonne mare, no matter how... lurid... her works are, can write a female character with much more depth... Though some of the personalities seem familiar," Grapes mused, thoughtfully.
"O-oh really? I never noticed. Um... so... Bunnies?"
"Right. Sorry. Get me talking about books, and we'll be here all day," Grapes said laughing at herself.
Earshot giggled and tapped on the shed. "Yeah the Bunnies locked themselves in the old Copper Shed. I've been trying to get them out but... well... all they wanna do is make faces and wave at me."
"Oh dear... they're not waving," Fluttershy said, sounding embarrassed again.
"They're not?" Earshot asked.
Fluttershy tippy-hooved up so she could look through the small window and called out "Do you hug your mommies with those paws?"
"Rabbits can make rude gestures?" Grapes uttered.
"You mean... those bunnies are giving me the PAW?" Earshot asked incredulously.
"Oh yes. It's VERY rude of them. Pardon me a moment," she said. Fluttershy looked into the glass once more and said quietly, "Please let me in." There was a moment of silence, then a loud CLANK! before the door swung open and she went inside.
Grapes could barely hear Fluttershy's naturally soft voice speaking to the bunnies. Occasionally she would pick up a couple of words here or there such as "that's not a good excuse" or "Oh dear." Still Earshot seemed to be following along... Of course he would be able to. He admitted to her once that his cutie mark, the one that looked like an ear with a stylised funnel symbolised his special talent was listening. That on a good day with the wind right, he could hear virtually everything in Ponyville from his bedroom window in the bunkhouse. At times she wondered if such hearing was a blessing or curse. The sheer amount of sound he must pick up might be maddening at times. Seeing as it was a private confession to her, she never shared it. Last thing ponies needed to know was that he could effortlessly invade their privacy no matter where in town they went.
Fluttershy stepped out of the shed and smiled sweetly at Earshot. "The bunnies told me why they hid in there. They said that you were chasing them around, and telling them you were going to sing to them."
"Singing to the creatures around the Vineyard is what I get paid to do,” Earshot said, with a nod.
"Oh," he said quietly. this was information he already knew, but Grapes could see he really didn't want to hurt Fluttershy's feelings by telling her he was deliberately chasing them away with his singing. "Well... Miss Fluttershy? If you would be nice enough to tell the Bunnies... and in turn all the other creatures around here that... if they don't like my singing then maybe... coming to the Vineyard property isn't a good idea. I don't mind if they don't like my singing. Not everypony likes opera and I sing it to make sure the vines grow big and healthy so I can't stop, but if they leave now, they won't have to listen to me any more." Apparently satisfied with his answer Fluttershy nodded and went back inside. A moment later there was a small wave of bunnies pouring out the door and making a beeline for the wilderness.
"Well that worked out for the best," Grapes observed.
"I think they REALLY don't like your singing, Earshot." said Fluttershy as she exited the shed and nosed the door shut for them. "They're all gone and I think only the troublemakers will bother your Vineyard again. To be honest I think your singing is one of the nicer ways to keep them out. I've read in one of Twilight's books about some very not-nice ways earth ponies used to use.
"So have I," Grapes said. "I prefer to use Earshot's subsonics to the less equaine methods."
"Miss Applejack's dog seems to like my singing though. Sometimes she comes over and tries to sing along." Earshot giggled. "Thank you for helping us out Miss Fluttershy. Oh! May... May I BORROW your books?" Earshot asked.
"You want to read about Night Ponies? But you're a... oh wait. You said you want to know how we feel about you. Well... I'm not sure all my books are good for a pony your age... That is unless you only look young and are really hundreds of years old," Fluttershy observed, thoughtfully, as they trotted away from the shed.
"Oh no. I really am this young," Earshot said, chuckling.
“Uhm... is it alright if I ask you about Night Ponies? I mean the real kind?" Fluttershy inquired.
"Could somepony fix some tea... And do not let Stormfront anywhere near the flour, please," Grapes called out.
Sirocco waved from behind the tree she had been behind. "I shall make the tea and clear the table at the bunkhouse eating area for you Miss Fluttershy. You and Earshot may spend some time there swapping insults," she said with a slight bow.
"Insults?" Fluttershy asked, confused.
"Sorry, her mastery of Equestrian idioms isn't the best," Grapes supplied with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Ohh. I see. Thank you very much..." Fluttershy started, then trailed off, looking at Grapes inquiringly.
"That's Sirocco. She's from the Great Dune Sea."
"Thank you very much Sirocco. So... Earshot... do you fly very well with those wings?" Earshot and Fluttershy headed towards the bunkhouse with Sirocco in the lead. The other Ponies were no place to be found... No doubt either good at hiding or obeying Grapes' request to give Fluttershy some space. It was only a little later that she was in the new barn, making certain everything was squared away for the night when she heard a fierce belch and a pair of ponies giggling behind the back wall. Peering out the back window she could see a small scattering of orange-drink bottles on the ground and Thistledown sitting next to Firestormer as they drank fresher bottles and watched the sun go down.
"Good one Thistledown," Grapes heard Firestormer assert.
"I had a good teacher," came the reply. It looked as if this was where Firestormer and Thistledown spent their down time. She had to admit it was a nice view but she never would have guessed these two would buddy up like this. Then again they were around the same age, plus there was the question of if they were buddies or were they reinmates?
"I think I'm in love, Thistledown."
"That would explain the Googly eyes you were making at Fluttershy earlier," Thistledown chuckled
"I was NOT making 'Googly eyes' at her... That obvious, huh?" Firestormer asked with some trepidation obvious in his voice.
"Yep. Not that I can fault you for taste. She's one striking young filly," Thistledown said thoughtfully.
"She's not striking, she's Bucking GORGEOUS," sighed Firestormer, sounding profoundly twitterpated.
"I know. I was being tactful."
"I thought you were... you know... sidesaddle."
"I am. But that doesn't mean I don't know a Gorgeous mare from a rock on the ground. Just because I ain't buyin' don't mean I can't admire the stuff in the window," Thistledown asserted.
"Ok ok. Fair enough. I mean we hang out and you know I'm not sidesaddle,” Firestormer said, the shrug evident in his vocalization.
"You're not?" Thistledown asked, in mock surprise.
"Now cut that out. I'm being serious here."
"I know I know. You're just cute when you're flustered." The two drained their bottles and tossed them aside with the other empties before opening fresh ones.
"So..."
"So?"
"So, why don't you approach her? Ask her out? Woo her?"
“Me? Woo Fluttershy? HA!" Grapes stood there, an eyebrow raised at that rather derisive comment.
"What's the matter, Firestormer? Out of your league?"
"Hardly, Thistle-boy. We're in the same league, just playing on different teams. I'm Too loud, too flashy, too much of a show-off."
"No argument there."
"What I'm saying is... can you really imagine me and her together? I mean Honestly?" Firestormer asked.
"When you put it that way... yeah. She'd probably hide in her cellar the moment you swoop in to say hello for the first time."
"I know. Face it. Personality-wise we're too incompatible."
"So let me guess... The Noble thing?"
"Yeah. The Noble thing... As long as she isn't about to do WORSE than me I'm gonna let her find her special stallion..."
"Ahem"
"...OR special MARE, thank you Thistledown."
"VERY noble. So, if it looks like she's gonna do worse?"
"Then I'll swoop in and say hello. But I'm a sappy guy when you get down to it. I believe that there is somepony out there for everypony... even me."
"And me?"
"Buck yeah. You got a lot going for you Downer, and that's coming from a straight Pony like me."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Here's to being Noble and Sappy endings!"
"Here! Here!" Their bottles clinked in a toast, and while they drank up Grapes had a moment to mentally file that new expression in her mental vocabulary. 'Sappy Endings'.
"Hey... is it wrong for me to wanna brush Fluttershy's hair for her?" Firestormer mused.
"You TOO?" Grapes had to laugh. Fluttershy had gained a pair of new fans. Thankfully the day was done, and the dynamic duo would be heading inside after cleaning up their mess.
Grapes then went to the supply closet and checked on the blankets. In these waning days of late summer, the nights were beginning to get cooler. Sour Grapes was wanting to make sure everypony had one in chase it was needed or wanted. She had already left blankets with all the others, but the last pony she came to was Firestormer. Like most of the rooms in the bunkhouse, it was relatively small, but the pegasus had done things to make it quite homey. There were pictures of Firestormer’s family. A scarf bearing a symbol of a dark brown pegasus riding a lightening-shooting storm cloud was hanging off one of the hooks on the wall beside a respirator, and a pair of flight goggles. On a bedside table was an odd velvet covered box, and on the bed, itself sat Firestormer.
“Hey. What brings you here?” the orange pegasus asked.
“I thought I’d supply everypony with a blanket, in case it’s needed,” Grapes replied, as she levitated said blanket to the foot of the bed.
"Thanks," he said, a little quieter than normal. After she set the blanket down Grapes had a moment to take a closer look at some of his pictures. He looked like a cute foal once upon a time. No doubt he had his father's wings and his mother's sleek form, an ideal mix for hitting those high speeds and tight turns he often bragged about. She also noticed some pictures of him with other foals, some of him older at what she guessed must be that Cloudsdale flight school and a startlingly picturesque one of him posing with a monstrously active Volcano in the background.
“You were a cute kid,” she observed with a smile.
"Thank you, Miss Grapes," He smirked in that weird cocky-crooked way he did. She wondered if it was something he was even aware he did. She never saw him smile the way he did as a foal in those pictures though. Never showing all his teeth in a grin. Maybe knowing you're that good of a flier tended to change you. She then glanced down at the small bedside table, her eyes alighting on the box.
“What’s that?”
"That? Oh! Oh that... that's nothing all that important. Just some old junk I was putting away... " Firestomer moved to pick it up but jostled the tiny table, sending the box falling to the floor. It hit rather hard, the box springing open and a large golden metal disc with a neck-ribbon tumbled out, rolling until it hit her hooves and fell flat. Grapes levitated the disk, and looked it over.
Grapes gazed at the fire-colored pegasus thoughtfully. "This have anything to do with that particularly guilty look I saw you sporting, when I mentioned that Twilight and her pals are national heroes?" Firestormer blinked and turned to see her looking over the trinket in her hooves. The brass 'pin' was easily the size of a horseshoe, shaped like a shield it was silver with the inlaid gold icon of Celestia's icon. The Words "Fortitudinis in aliorum" were etched in the Silver surrounding the Golden sun icon. The metal gleamed with near-mirror shine. No doubt he took care of it, polishing it with regularity, but because it was kept in the little black box it was no-doubt something that he uncharacteristically never showed-off. He stammered a moment, and she noticed a strange black tinge enter his crimson cheeks. Apparently his version of a blush.
"Well.. I mean... Well it was disrespectful of me to assume they weren't uhm... heroic. You know?"
"So... How'd you get that little doodad?" Grapes asked, casually.
"Oh... well.. You know. It's not as impressive as saving Equestria or freeing the princess from a spell or something. It's not really worth mentioning."
"Firestormer," Grapes said with a stern look, "it's still something that's eating away at you. It may help you to talk about it. Especially since that's the Equestrian Medal of Heroism."
The guilty look came back, and it stayed there. Firestormer sighed in a quiet way and sat down on his bed. " Yeah. It is. It really should have gone to some other pony but I wound up with it."
"I see. Apparently you did something that was seen as heroic, but you don't," Grapes observed. “See it as heroic, I mean."
"Well there's not really all that much to tell. There was a fire in my town, and some of my friends were in the burning building and... I... got them out. Sure it sounds like I was heroic but it really wasn't," Firestormer said with a shrug.
"Obviously there's more to the story than that cut and dried account," Grapes said, leaning on the doorjamb.
Firestormer lowered his head and nodded. "Ok... I guess if I can trust anyone with this it's you..." he paused a moment and said quietly. "If you're listening in Earshot, could I have a little privacy please?" Grapes heard a faint cranking sound from downstairs followed by some loud Jazz being played. The timing left no doubt in her mind that Earshot was giving them some much-needed aural privacy.
"The curse of super hearing," Grapes observed wryly.
"First off, my name isn't really Firestormer... It's actually Hot-Shot. My parents own a Courier Service in Upper Taisu Town. The Red Streak delivery service," Firestormer explained.
"I think I've heard of it,” Sour Grapes said, thoughtfully.
"Yeah. They're not a huge company but reliable and with a solid customer base. We've shipped everything from food to Paperwork to.. to fireworks."
"To special deliveries of wine," Grapes added, with a nod. "Something disastrous happened I take it?"
"When I was a colt my friends and I were in the new warehouse, snooping about. It was pretty much what any colt our age would do. Looking through the deliveries for anything that looked neat.. and we found the fireworks. We figured nopony would miss a few sparkler sticks. We lit them up in the dark of the warehouse and had a little fun writing our names in the air,” Firestormer continued his story. Grapes could see where this was going.
"Ah... I see."
"Yeah. We had a blast but Scale Tipper forgot how hot those wires can get, and he burned himself. We gathered around Scale to deal with his wound and we forgot his sparkler was somewhere among the crates... Still burning... and some of those crates had REAL fireworks in them,” the red pegasus uttered, sounding a bit sick.
"Oh... dear."
"Yeah.. it was pretty and yet NOT pretty at the same time. We realised something was wrong when it started getting brighter. We saw the fire and we tried to stomp it out... then everything hit the fan. It was like lightning hit a rainbow, and kept on hitting it. Fire and color in all directions. We couldn't even figure out where the door was in the bedlam. The air got thick with sulfur-stinking smoke and the fire spread like crazy." Firestormer's voice cracked as he went on. "Stone took a roman candle to the side of his head. He hasn't heard anything in that ear since then. It's a miracle he wasn't blinded... or his horn blown off... "
"And you saved your friends from a burning building, receiving a medal for heroism, but you don't feel like you deserved it, because you single-hoofedly set your family's business back by... hmmm... years, yes?" Grapes asked, before the firey hued pony could sink further into self flagellation.
"I don't even know how I did it... I was lost as they were. they had passed out, I felt like I was gonna pass out and the place was coming down. All I remember was their weight on me... then acceleration... the pain of punching through the burning timbers with my head... then blue skies. They said other pegasai caught me and my friends before I passed out. We spent some serious time in the hospital for smoke inhalation and burns... and... and Celestia came," Firestormer continued.
"You got to meet the Princess, when you were younger," Grapes stated, with a raised eyebrow.
"She called me a hero... gave me the medal. Asked me to show up at the gala when I was feeling better. I wish my jaw wasn't wired shut at the time. I would have told her the truth... " He started to cry but turned his head to hide it. "Even my friends think I'm a hero. If I hadn't have let them in, helped them snoop... Every time they greet me with such smiles... and I still can see their old injuries. And yeah... I crippled the family business. We recovered but we ran in the red for some time. I feel like I've been trying to live up to that bloody medal ever since. I've been learning everything about fire, since I was recovering in the hospital. How it works, how it behaves, what it does... I learned so much I actually became the youngest fire marshals in the history of my town. That's where Weathervain found me. A daredevil hotshot who was cool under fire. She offered me a chance to put my knowledge to use on a new level. How... how could I possibly say no?"
"So... You feel like you've received a medal you didn't earn, and praise you did not deserve,” Grapes said, with an air of somepony who was wanting to get the bottom-line of a particular story correct. "Even if you saved your friends' lives, despite the foalish mistake, and even with the fact your family's business has recovered... You still feel guilty. And continue to beat yourself up over it."
"I made a stupid mistake and my friends paid for it. Yeah I know it wasn't my hoof that dropped the sparkler but mom and dad trusted me with the keys to the warehouse. They said I was old enough for the responsibility,” Firestormer asserted.
"And how long are you going to punish yourself?" Grapes asked bluntly.
"I... I dunno. Every time the Gala comes up Mom and Dad insist I wear the medal, so do the Storm Riders... So do my old friends. Even Stone says I earned the right to wear it. I just don't know anymore."
"I don't suppose you've told anypony how you feel?" Grapes asked.
"Just you,” Firestormer replied.
"I don't suppose it's helped?"
The fiery colored pegasus sat there a moment, thinking it over then nodding. "As surprising as it sounds... yeah. It does feel a little better."
"Well I'm sure that having somebody to share your burden does help," Grapes said with a nod.
Firestormer smiled, looking a little better for it. His eyes flitting to the medal she was holding. "Maybe... I should talk to Mom and Dad about this. I think I can handle that now."
Grapes put it into its box. "Good. It's time to give yourself a repreive."
Firestormer wiped his eyes on his foreleg and took a deep breath. "You won't tell anyppony I was blubbering like a foal, will you?"
"Why would I?"
"Well there are someponies who wouldn't hesitate to," the fire-colored pegasus observed.
"And you think I'm just somepony, hm?"
"Well, I gotta ask. I mean Stormy did tell us your honesty can be... kinda harsh."
"I can be. When the occasion needs it. But you took me into your confidence, and told me something that you've kept festering in yourself for a while. You don't need me to punish you, since you've been doing an admirable job of it yourself. I am glad, however, you're taking foal-steps to forgiving yourself,” Grapes asserted.
The next day the air had a distinct nip in it. It was obvious the weather was turning. Grapes felt a touch melancholy, at the change. Summer was winding down, and soon it will be Fall. The Vineyard wouldn't need as much tending when there were no crops to collect. In fact it would be time to close up after the first frost where the last of the crop froze and she could make Ice Wine... no doubt snow and ice loving Queenie would be in LOVE with the notion. Still after that there would be no point in keeping the Storm Riders on, there would be so little to do that one pony could do it. No doubt they had friends or family to go to for the winter and Hearth's Warming, leaving her in the solitude she enjoyed... This would be the first year she wouldn't have her parents around to be with either. Who knows... she might make regular forays into town more often if just to sit in the local cafe sipping hot cider. Still... there was a LOT to do before that, AND there was the Running of the Leaves. She always giggled at that. Maybe this year she might even participate.
But this year, she wouldn't have her parents. And this year, she actually had friends. This year was going to be lonely.
She took a deep breath and let it out. There would be plenty of time to feel down later. She still had work to do, and it was her least favorite task. Grapes pulled out her file box of receipts, and other errata, getting everything together to slog through the calculations for her Equestrian taxes.
"Well that was final harvest... Just got the final processing to do. Sales, of course, have been brisk, this year. The new fiscal year starts next week, and that's where the Gala sales goes... Oh yes, just got the reciept, and cheque for the Broccoli Wine. Many happy returns, Blueballs," Grapes uttered with a smirk, as she set it in the correct pile. For some reason, it helped her to talk her way through the task, out loud. It may make her seem eccentric, but it was but one of a multitude of quirks that made up her psyche. "Cheque gets deposited, receipt for miss Red Tape. Nice pony, but she gets a lot of guff." With some soft music playing on her phonograph she plodded through the mire that was 'what was earned and what was owed'. This went on for a short while when there was the creek of the front door and a soft breeze wafted through the living room. the receipts fluttered, threatening to take flight before the door could be shut.
"Sour Grapes? Are you at home?"
"I'm in the kitchen," Grapes said, using her levitation to keep the receipts from taking flight. The click of the door was a sound of relief for Grapes who as soon as the fluttering settled allowed herself to relax... right before she turned to the left and found Sirocco standing there, silent and tall.
"Hi, Sirocco. How's it going?" Grapes asked with a smile.
"I am not unwell, thank you for asking. And may I ask how you are this evening?" the exotic pegasus asked.
"As well as can be expected," Sour Grapes replied with a shrug.
"I hope you do not mind my coming in this late in the evening. I saw the light on and hoped I could punt my head in," Sirocco said quietly.
"That sounds painful," Grapes deadpanned drolly.
"What are you doing up this late, Sour grapes?"
"I'm slogging my way through the Equestrian Tax code," Grapes replied with a quiet sigh.
"Ah the finances of the Vineyard no doubt," she said sitting down across from her. "There are two things that are eternal certainties. Breath and Taxes."
"'Breath' isn't always a certainty, Sirocco, but death certainly is," Grapes observed with a chuckle. “Unless, of course, you’re one of the Princesses.”
"My apologies. Speaking a foreign language is hard enough but Equestrian has so many... idioms and adages that it's frustrating to get them correct. I will not relate to you how I spent a day looking for the all-knowing pony Scuttle-Butt," Sirocco uttered with a shake of her glossy brown head. Grapes had to blink, and chuckle. "Oh... that tally is incorrect," the pegasus said gesturing at a very lengthy bill from a Phillydelphia.
"You... glanced at the bill, and calculated the figure just like that?" Grapes asked, sounding astonished.
The tall pony shrugged. "Mathematics have always been easy for me. Numbers are simply easier than words. A word can have many meanings but a One will always remain a One. I have been reading the tax code of Equestria over out of curiosity and while predictable it is rather refreshing."
"I don't suppose you could help me out, here? I'm okay with math, but I'd be here all night if I did this by myself," Grapes explained.
"Oh. Why yes, certainly I will help," Sirocco said sounding almost happy as she scooted closer to the table and began rearranging and restacking all of the neat little piles that Grapes had been working on. "Let me see... this belongs here, this is not deductible, medicines are best placed with medical expenses unless they are arboreal medicines then they are placed with gardening supplies..."
"So many little expenses. How exciting. I may have to retrieve my new abacus for this," Sirocco said with a grin.
Grapes chuckled, getting up. "I knew I forgot something," she said, trotting to her room.
When she came back she saw Sirocco leaning over the paperwork, scribbling meticulously away on a pad. Her pencil neatly writing in a language she was unfamiliar with, but the columns belied the universal language of numbers. "Thank you for allowing me to assist, Sour Grapes. This is such a welcome change of place for me."
Grapes smiled, and plunked an abacus on the table. "Would you say you'd qualify as an accountant?"
"Well I am hardly certified but I like the Equestrian Tax system. It is not without its twisty parts but I find it very straightforward,” Sirocco said thoughtfully. "So... yes?"
"Well, Princess Celestia tends to be very fair with the system," Grapes said with a smile. "The princess, herself, tends to be a bit mischievous, but she tries to be fair. It is suspected that the twisty bits come from the Royal Vizier."
"While I am enjoying this, I did have a different topic in mind to speak to you about," Sirocco said quietly.
"Oh? What is that, Sirocco?" Grapes asked, tilting her head, curiously.
"The upcoming winter season. I suspect that there will not be much need for farmhooves when the snow falls. Yes?"
"That's true. There's nothing to harvest. Really, all that happens is basic maintenance," Grapes said with a nod.
"I was wondering if I might be permitted to stay on the property. Unlike many of the other Storm Riders I have no place to call home to return to for the winter holidays. It is a long story but as they say, one cannot grow home."
"The phrase goes: 'One can not go home, again'," Grapes corrected, with a melancholy tone. "I've noticed that aside from the heat, and the sand you don't... really talk about your homeland."
Yes. It is hard to speak of the things that happened between myself and my family. I could say there was a misunderstanding, but it was more of a far-too-much was Understood-ing."
Grapes gazed at the foreign mare thoughtfully, then nodded. "I think I get it."
Grapes could have sworn there was a slight blush in Sirocco’s cheeks as she nodded. "I won't lie to you, this place... your piece of land, the buildings, even my small room, all of this. This has come to feel to me as a home. No matter how cold it may get in this region, I would very much like to remain here."
"I, honestly, have no objection to your staying. Heh. Earlier today I was... kind of down at the thought of you all leaving," the brown unicorn said with a self depreciating chuckle.
"I understand. This will be your first winter without your parents?"
Yeah... They may be here for Hearths Warming, but it's not a sure thing," Grapes replied.
"I will be more than happy to keep you company in the long months ahead. And I shall continue to be a good guest and pull my waist."
“Weight,” Grapes corrected.
"Pardon me?"
“The phrase is ‘pull your weight.”
"Ahh. I was wondering about that. Pulling at one's waist seems to imply some manner of corset," Sirocco observed.
"WHO thought that was a GOOD idea?!" Grapes asked, automatically.
"I wish I knew. I did not even know what a corset WAS until I visited the Carousel Dress Shop. Although Mistress Rarity said that I probably didn't even need one... then she mumbled something about her giving up pastries," Sirocco replied.
"Yeah... Rarity's... a piece of work, herself," Grapes chuckled.
"This is perhaps the longest time I have ever been in one place since I left the Dune Sea. It's always been town after town, bed after bed. Sometimes even stables. Anywhere one could lay their head for rest. That's not to say that Mistress Weathervane does not have a place for us to sleep at the Forcastery,” Sirocco explained.
"But some assignments leave you so tired, you just need to rest, wherever you can lay your head," Grapes finished.
"There was one time we were all so tired that we just lay in a heap on a rooftop for warmth. I had my head upon Queenie's side, Earshot was snuggled close, Stormfront lay his wings across us all like a blanket... It was then I realised I had a family once more. I wept myself to sleep I was so happy."
Grapes chuckled. "And hey, why not add a grumpy unicorn to the mix?" she asked with a grin and a shrug.
"Another Pega-sister is always welcome." she giggled. "Even if she has a horn instead of wings."
"Good thing this house's got a guest room... I don't think the bunkhouse is really all that well insulated... Grapevine Hills has never had permanent hooves, before," Grapes observed.
"I have noticed it does not hold heat well on cool nights. I'm usually up feeding the Pot Belly to feel comfortable."
“Yeah. But then that’s an old bunkhouse. It probably needs to be updated,” Grapes said with a sigh. “It’s just we haven’t really had the bits, or the need...”
"Well I have noticed that the sheep farmers have been hawking their wares more and more. Perhaps I should be more... " she hesitated, thinking for the right word "...aggressive in my efforts to be warmer, and buy myself some knitted goods."
"Well the sheep want some profit for their wool,” Grapes said with a shrug. "And well made knitted goods are very comfortable... Of course, I suggest Rarity's boutique for any winter wear."
"Ah yes... I hope her ability to make warm clothing is equal to her sense of the aesthetic. I will not lie, the Dune Sea can become frightfully cold at night but Firestormer has warned me that the cold in this region can sometimes freeze the bells off a brass monk's key."
Grapes blinked, then cleared her throat. "You know I think I like that better than the actual saying."
"Very well then. I shall finish with assembling your accounts as best I can, head to bed and then tomorrow I shall make an appointment with Mistress Rarity for winter-wear," Sirocco said as she accepted Grapes' abacus and began moving the beads back and forth as she shuffled the stacks about further and made notes on the pad. "You are certainly doing well this year. You have a good buffer against future troubles. Do you have any further forms of income you can add to this?"
"Just the rent from the storage sheds, and Redline in the north field," Grapes replied.
"Redline? Would he be a grayish blue unicorn with a wild mane of red hair? Usually walking about in some manners of coveralls, sometimes in the presence of a small pegasus filly with a dust-gray coat and mane?" Sirocco asked, tilting her head curiously.
"Yes, that's him. And the pegasus filly is his adopted sister, Moondust."
"Ah. I was wondering about that. The affection they have for one another is very heartwarming, they do not even seem to notice that they are so different. And you say he is in the North field? I was under the impression the land there was unusable," the foreign mare mused thoughtfully.
That's why there are those storage sheds, out there. And Redline and Moondust, of course. Though Moondust's done a good job of clearing a garden spot... I've really considered building them a house," Grapes replied as she shrugged.
"If the land there is unable to be tilled then perhaps a few modest domiciles would be a good way to edge your bats. Many ponies would be happy to have a small home to start off with before earning enough for a larger one," Sirocco advised.
"The phrase is 'hedge your bets'," Grapes corrected.
"Oh... Equestrian is so confusing sometimes," Sirocco uttered, as she took a moment to scribble some figures down on a fresh sheet before showing them to her. "Rental minus basic upkeep costs for a small home may still be putting you out ahead for a steady Income source. ...might I ask what Mister Redline does for a living?"
“He’s a tinkerer, and general repairspony,” Grapes replied. “He’s probably doing well, this month, after the parasprite problem.”
"I can see that. It is remarkable how fast Ponyville recovers from disaster. It is as if that which nearly hobbles them, makes them stronger somehow."
“Gotta love the resilience of the place, to be honest. But then it was founded by the Apple Family, and you know how stubborn my cousin, Applejack can be,” Grapes observed.
"Surprisingly enough stubbornness can sometimes be an admirable trait." she agreed. "It's knowing when to keep butting heads or to simply walk away that's the trick."
Grapes chuckled. "And indeed it is a trick."
"Well then, until you have those who owe you rent and other payments, give you what you are owed I do believe that I have crushed your numbers as best I can," Sirocco said with an air of finality.
“Crunched," Grapes said absently."
"Thank you again for allowing me to stay the season here. It is good to... Put... roots... down?"
"That one you got right," Grapes said with a smile.
The next day, Sour Grapes decided to visit the North Field, and see if Redline had the rent, this month or needed another extension. True she could be a bit stern with farmhooves, but Grapes was not about to put a filly out of her home because her brother was having a rough patch. The North Field was a sad rocky patch of ground that came with the vineyard when the Grapes Family first came to ponyville. Sandy, rocky and tangled with old tree roots and scrub, it wasn't truly good for anything but denting plows and giving headaches to anypony who got it into their head to try to claim the land. Previous attempts only allowed for the foundations of several large sheds to be built there. She rented these sheds out to the ponyville citizens for the storage. Sometimes for the storage of dangerous materials that were best away from a populated area, but most often for ponies who just needed a little more space in their homes. And then there was Redline... He was a piece of work.
Redline was a unicorn inventor. Who loved to improve things. He had come to ponyville a year or so back from the city of Detrot, pulling a colorful 'Gypsy wagon' full of tools and trinkets to offer his services as creator and repairpony... oh yes... and to raise his sweet and excitable sister Moondust. He rented her largest shed as a workshop so that he and Moondust could have some genuine living space in his wagon. It was so... heartwarming to see how devoted he was to her. Being an only child, Grapes sometimes wondered what having a brother or sister would have been like for her, and she often hoped that it could have been like the relationship those two had. Granted sometimes Redline was more trouble than what he was worth. He had a habit of causing small disasters around Ponyville by pushing his inventions too far. Making them work beyond their limits until... well... it was no wonder the locals now called a machine that was overpowered had been "Redlined". Grapes had often considered building a house for the two. Maybe during the spring... Believe it or not, having the Riders that summer had cut down on costs.
Operations had in her own memory never been this far in the black. This level of surplus was a welcome surprise and would provide a buffer in case of any unforeseen disasters. Boy was she glad the Storm-Riders were around when the Parasprites hit. Her first year in control could have been one of total financial ruin. She should do something nice for them to show her appreciation, sometime. She would figure it out, later. She only hoped that they would be around next year.
The north field looked as rocky and unforgiving as always, and Sour Grapes had to pause by one old stump to ponder a gear being embedded in it. That was new. Yet at the furthest point of the field there was signs of civilisation. Moondust, bless that little filly's heart, had taken time to pry up rocks and pull weeds and dig a large circle of tilled soil around her 'Property' and filled it with wildflowers creating a colorful hedge of a sort. Wild Jazz played on a nearby gramophone as several pots of paint sat open and she danced wildly about with a brush in her teeth, painting her Wagon-Home with an impressive array of bright colors. She remembered her first impression of the little filly. She had a moment of cautious disbelief that a Pegasus could be Redline's little sister.. but she told her... quite PROUDLY that she was Adopted, and that "out of allllllllll the little colts and fillies in the world, she was special enough to be chosen to be Redline's little sister." Sweet thing.
Grapes trotted up, a smile on her face. "Hey, Moondust. How are you doing?"
Moondust giggled and leapt over to Grapes, her little wings buzzed madly, failing to make her fly but somehow reduced her personal gravity to allow some impressive jumps. "Miss Grapes! I'm doing great. Red told me I could paint the wagon anyways I wanted because it was looking very sad. What do you think? I found some old paint in his workshop and was working hard all night long!”
"It's looking good, Moondust," Grapes said with a smile. "It's very cheery."
"YEAH! OH! You must be here because of something important... uhm...." The little pony screwed her face up cutely as she tapped her hoof against her forehead in thought. "Must be... MONEY DAY!"
"Ah... Yeah..." Grapes uttered, realizing that was about the only time she ever came out here to visit.
"Okay! I'll get my brother," Moondust said as she skip-hopped over to the shed and knocked loudly. "Big Brother! Are you still in there? Miss Sour Grapes is here for Money Day!"
"She is? Oh that's great... be right out, Moondust." Grapes chuckled, as she waited patiently. There was a sound like metal parts being shuffled around, accompanied by muttering and the occasional 'mystery noise' before the door opened and Out stepped Redline. His coat was a dull colonial blue but he had a pink muzzle and an impressive wild mane of unkempt red hair. It was nearly laughable how much he looked like the stereotypical mad scientist even wearing pince-nez glasses on his green eyes or the utilitarian gray coveralls he wore to keep grease and oil from staining his body. He smiled around the bag in his teeth before trotting over to her and setting it down. "Hello Miss Sour Grapes. Nice to see you again, I'd ask what you're doing out here but it's rather obvious isn't it?"
"Hello to you too. How've you been?" Grapes asked with a chuckle.
"I'm doing pretty good. I'm ready to pay not only this month's rent but the back rent I owe you and even have some for winter months. The Parasprite infestation may have been bad news for Ponyville but it was a much-needed boon for a repair-guy. I've never been so busy, or profitable. Some ponies got into small bidding wars for much-needed hoofpower to repair businesses and homes,” Redline replied with a smile.
Grapes chuckled. "Well that's good. I appreciate you're paying up what you owe. But it's not like I'm short on bits. Just let me know what's going on, and I’ll be sure to spot you again. And how’s Moondust been doing?"
"Well, Moondust is enjoying her classes with Miss Cherilee and her wings are getting stronger every day. It won't be long before I'll have to send her to Cloudsdale for flight school, and that means I'll have to arrange for a dorm room for her. That's an awful long way for her to commute,” Redline replied.
Grapes nodded. "Understandable. Maybe some of the pegasai I know can lend a hoof."
"That would be great. I can examine and explain how to fly all I want in a technical way but in the end she needs real pegasai to show her how it's done. She needs to have a few pointers from a proper pegasus before she heads up there. In the end she's a pegasus and I'm a unicorn," he said as he tapped the impressive long horn that curved up from his brow with a smirk. "Wings are very different from horns."
"No? Really? I'd have never guessed," Grapes snarked.
"Sarcasm aside you know what I mean. I see her looking up at the skies and I don't want to deny her that feeling of... of laughing at gravity and looking down on the clouds."
"All right," Grapes agreed.
"So...." Redline said levitating the cloth bag up and out to her, she could practically HEAR the amount of bits jingling in there. "It should all be there... thank you very much for extending the time I needed to get it together. You have been more than generous to me and Moondust."
"I'm not going to put a family stallion out on his flank because he's having a hard time," Grapes asserted.
"I appreciate that. Thank you Sour Grapes. Not many other ponies would be as patient with me. I know I've caused a few problems now and again but I just can't understand how I can wind up with the reputation of being trouble. I don't know where they get this idea that I bring some kind of disaster with me wherever I go."
"Uh... Let's see... There's the sewing machine you made for Rarity," Grapes started then there was a sound like a steam whistle from his shed, getting louder by the moment... then a dull *THUD!* as a mushroom-shaped plume of intensely vivid purple smoke shot up from the chimney into the air.
Redline wheeled about, and looking up at the cloud, shouted "MY TEA!" before dashing into the shed.
"And there's that," Grapes finished.
A moment of clattering later he walked out of the shed, levitating a teapot ahead of him, thick purple smoke rising from it. "Awww... it's ruined. I'm going to have to make adjustments to the pressure cooker."
"... You don't use a pressure cooker to make tea."
"Really? I thought it a great idea. My tea was being made in a mere 20% of the usual time needed and the blend came out quite potent," Redline mused, as he turned the pot upside down and out fell a small Purple/orange puck of condensed and charred... tea matter. In spite of the appearance, Grapes was able to recognise many of the teas in it by appearance and smell.
Grapes raised an eyebrow. "Er..."
"Aww horse-hockey. My special blend. I'm gonna feel all logey later."
"So you've got a blend of Assam Darjeeling, Golden Steed Eyebrow, and Bailin Gongfu. Oh, and Pu'erh. Lovely. All that caffeine can't be good for you,” Grapes uttered.
"It can't?"
"No. It can't," Grapes said with a certain finality to her voice.
"Well I'll admit the sudden lurch in my chest after the first cup isn't always pleasant but it really perks me up in the morning," Redline observed.
"Yeah, that lurch is your heart protesting you jump-starting it like that," Grapes asserted.
"You think? Wow... maybe it really could be bad for me," the red-maned unicorn uttered thoughtfully.
"You're going to get yourself checked out by a doctor, to make sure you haven't done any permanent damage to yourself," the brown unicorn said, firmly. “If not for your own sake, for Moondust’s.”
"But..." he stopped and looking over at where his sister was now trying to catch a butterfly sighed. "Ok. You're right. I should take better care of myself, shouldn't I?"
"Yes, yes you should."
Redline looked at the small coaster-sized mass of material and smirked. "Pity... you might have liked the flavor. It's bracing as a jump in an icy pond."
"I'd rather like my heart without scars, thanks," Grapes uttered with a smirk.
"Okay. So it's nearly time for Winter. Are you set for it?" Redline asked.
"Mostly," Grapes said with a quiet sigh.
"You don't seem too enthused," Redline observed astutely.
"Well... My parents retired. And for once I have friends, real friends. But most of them are probably going to leave, once the season's over," Grapes said quietly. “Sirocco’s asked to stay, though, which is a good thing, but it’s still going to be kinda lonely,” Grapes said with a sigh.
"Well if you ever get TOO lonely you know Moondust and I are always willing to entertain. I'll even serve normal tea," Redline offered.
"I would hope so. I'd hate for somepony to get into that stuff, that ISN'T used to it," Grapes admonished. After that, they said their goodbyes, and Grapes went back to her house.
"Huh-oh Mith Ghraes," Earshot greeted her, his teeth clenched around the string that held a small parcel about the size of a breadbox closed.
“Hello, Earshot,” Grapes replied. “You get some mail?” He came in to a very graceful landing next to the Long table reserved for farmhooves dining and set the parcel down.
"Yes I did. All the way from back home in... my home region."
“I suppose your obvious differences is the reason why you keep your... ‘home region’ a secret, hm?” Grapes asked, kindly.
"Yeah. It's part of why I'm out here is to kinda both see how Daylight ponies feel about my kind and... to put my best hoof forwards and make a good impression,” Earshot explained as he examined the knot a moment then tugged one bit with his teeth and it unraveled perfectly, the box springing open quite neatly.
“Well... Most ponies think that Night Ponies are fictional,” Grapes said. “Well... Until they meet you .”
"Looking at most of the reactions, it's not always a good bit of fiction. But that's why I'm here... to hopefully reintroduce us. Can't live in the dark forever. Oh hey it's from my grandmother. " He cleared his throat and began to read out loud. Grapes stole a peek over his shoulder and noticed that the script on the page was unlike any language she had seen. Made of vertical lines, horizontal lines and dots it reminded her more of sheet music than actual writing. "Earshot, My dearest grandson. Your letters always help me feel that you and I have made the right choice in sending you out into the world. Your latest letters from the town of Ponyville have been especially heartening and amusing as you speak of all the ways you have come to know the ponies that live there and integrated yourself into their lives."
“You write about us?” Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow, as she looked over the rather lyrical writing. “Wonder how that would sound if it was played on an instrument...”
"Well, yeah! I mean don't you write to your family about friends and happenings around you?" Earshot asked.
"I do... Not sure if Mom and Dad are checking their mail box, though," Grapes replied with a chuckle. "That may be a good indication they're going to be coming for Hearth's Warming..."
He glanced at the sheet again and giggled. "Speaking of which, there's more here. *Ahem* It is with no small deliberation on both the Stygian Cove council, and with myself that I would like to ask you a favor. I know how much you look forwards to coming home every year for the Long-Dark but with you having become an accepted face in Ponyville we... I would like you to consider staying this year to act as an observer for the upcoming Daylight Pony holiday Hearth's Warming. You know how until now we have only been able to watch from the fringes of...." he paused a moment before continuing "...of the local town. We would very much like to see how well you are accepted amid the upcoming celebrations. Sometimes we must walk before we can fly my dear Earshot, and your hooves are the sturdiest ones we can set forward. If you wish to come home none will oppose your decision but give this a few days thought before replying. In the meantime enclosed is... OOH! Enclosed!"
He put the letter down and began rooting through the box. He pulled out a pale yellow-green wool blanket that seemed slightly 'off' to Grapes, it looked warm but like it was a low-grade wool. Earshot however didn't seem to mind. he wrapped it about himself and churred happily before pulling out a large jar filled with a brackish fluid and stuffed full of what looked like eggs. "Oh! She remembered! Thank-you Grandma!"
“Do I even want to know?” the brown unicorn asked apprehensively
"Pickled Eggs!" the night pony chirped happily. "When I think of home during the Long Dark season, I automatically think of these. They're tasty and one of those... guilty.. pleasures, like what Miss Rarity talks about."
"I can see that, yeah. Though, they sell those in town. Some ponies have a greater tolerance for protein than others, so..." Grapes replied sounding a bit relieved. Earshot’s tolerance for... interesting sources of protein was something that had been demonstrated before. “So... You’re going to be staying over the winter?”
"Well, that is, if it's all right. I think I really would like to see what Hearths Warming is like up close. We usually only see it from a distance, the colors, the smells, the hub-hub and hullabaloo."
“I’ve no problem with it. Sirocco’s staying too, so it’d be nice to have another familiar face around the homestead,” Grapes replied. “And maybe you’ll be able to explain what the hay ‘Long Dark’ is about, you know, as a cultural exchange. I know Pinkie Pie does a party, and there’s the pageant, of course.”
"Really? I'd like very much to see as much about Hearth's Warming as I can. With ears like mine I can usually hear the town back home almost as if I'm there in the middle. Kind of a tease for me to hear but never really get a good look at things," Earshot said looking excited.
"Well I fully intend to take you to the pageant. And to Pinkie's party. No bugs, but still very good food,” Grapes said.
He giggled. "That's ok. I like the food here. It's different than a lot of what we get back home,” Earshot replied.
"Say... Earshot... Is that the usual grade of goods that your home gets?" Grapes asked, looking at the blanket.
"Yeah. Why do you ask?" he said snuggling his cheek against the coarse wool.
"Come inside the house, and I'll show you," Grapes said, trotting into her home, and going to her linen closet.
He followed her, the blanket on his back like a strange cape. She opened the closet and pulled out a few different blankets and she could see his eyes glitter at the sight of them. "Oh very nice colors. You must have payed so much for those, Miss Grapes."
"That's the thing. I didn't. I know you want to keep your home a secret... But it seems like your people are getting short-changed," Grapes said quietly, as she found a nice yellow wool blanket, and offered it to Earshot.
"I always thought that we got what we could afford. I mean yeah the other ponies had such bright pretty clothing but we had to buy the wool or fabrics from them and make our own dyes... make our own clothing. It was never as pretty but we never saw that much wrong with it."
"Maybe you could tell me about your home, sometime. You mentioned other ponies, and a nearby town... And yes, the fiction is usually overwhelmingly negative... But you are as pony as anypony else, and your people doesn't deserve to be sold a town's less-than-stellar goods because you're different," Grapes said, putting up her blankets, except the one she gave to Earshot.
"Well.. ok. I trust you enough that you won't do anything weird with stuff I tell you. Aren't you forgetting this blanket too, Miss Grapes?"
"Think of it as an early Hearth's Warming gift, Earshot. A pony can never have too many blankets."
"Oh! Thank you very much Miss Grapes. That is so nice of you."
“You’re welcome. Thank the stars I’ve got another guest room,” Grapes chuckled.
"Grandma asked me to think about it a few days but I'm pretty sure I know what my answer will be," the night pony said cheerfully.
"I'd be happy to have you, Earshot," Grapes said with a grin.
“I better head into town at some point and get some warm weather wear then. Firestormer usually loans me some of his when we do Queenie's schtick,” Earshot observed, thoughtfully.
"Why don't I take both you and Sirocco? I know the region better than either of you, and I'll help you get the best deal."
"OH! That would be wonderful. I got a lot of money set aside that I never got around to spending," Earshot chirped happily.
“I’ll ask her about it, then we’ll see,” Grapes said, as they walked out of the house. “And I’d better see about getting those rooms aired out.” Grapes paused, then decided to go back inside, and do just that. She went to her old room, now made a generic bedroom, and opened the window. The sheets were fresh, since she moved into her parents’ old room, recently. The unicorn then went to the guest room, opening that window. Grapes then went to her new room, and sighed in satisfaction. She had gotten it looking the way she wanted. She DID keep the old comforter, though. The brown unicorn looked around, then lept and flopped back onto the large bed, the comforter FLOOFING in the way she adored. So many good memories. Well she’ll be making her own, now. Two friends staying the winter. The cold months were not looking as bleak as they were. Grapes then hopped up, realizing that she should get some extra toiletries.
Grapes made it to town well before the shops closed relieved. True she could have waited to get the toiletries, but she was the sort that did not like to put things off. She went to the Day Spa, picking up some shampoo and soap from the twins. And barely got out of there before they could convince her to partake an herbal soak and massage.
"I swear those two..." Grapes uttered with a shake of her head as continued on her errands, picking up some extra food, and other sundries. As she set about gathering up what she needed, she wondered where her parents had stowed away the Hearths Warming decorations. She wasn't even going to bother putting them all up this year, maybe the wreath on the door and maybe the good seasonal tablecloth but with Earshot wanting the 'Hearths Warming Experience' then perhaps she should pull them out and have him, and Sirocco, help her to put them up. Grapes paused by the post office, pondering if she should write her parents a letter about the decorations.
She decided it would be for the best if she did. One, it would reduce the head-scratching and grumbling if they directed her to the right hidey-hole from the get go rather than directionless searching, and two... it would put her parents at ease. Asking them where they were would let them know she was not going to let their absence get in the way of her enjoying herself. She was going to enjoy her holiday even if they can't get home for the holidays. With that goal in mind, she diverted her course to the building, proper.
The Pony Express office was in it's own way... slow. Fast delivery of mail, but long lines for processing of those who wrote it. She stood in line awaiting her turn when she realised that sompony had come in behind her. Turning slightly she realised it was Queenie, currently re-reading a letter while balancing a parcel on her back.
“Hey, Queenie,” Grapes said said with a smile. “Have some ‘in town’ stuff to do, too?”
"Mmmm? Oh! Grapes, I didn't see you there. Ah yes.. well I got a letter from my parents and I need to put a few things in order early this year."
Grapes nodded. "Well I'm sending a letter to my folks. Need to know where they stashed the Hearth's Warming decorations."
"Oh really? Nice to know you're looking ahead like that. Ur... that being said, I need to take a week or two off soon,” Queenie replied.
"Well we just had final harvest, and you're practically finished with the deseeding. I figured you'd be going home for the winter season," Grapes said, as the line slowly progressed.
"It turns out that I may not be needed there this season," she said looking oddly cheerful.
"Oh... kay... I thought you'd want to go and see your family," Grapes said sounding confused.
"Well... I love my family dearly but every year at this time I head back to Avalanche Valley, literally going from one job to another. You see... Avalanche Valley is my ancestral home... literally. I can't remember if I spoke of this to you already but Father and Mother are the Duke and Duchess of Avalanche Valley and I am it's heir... an heir that has since she was a child played chambermaid to all manner of tourists because the whole region has since the 8th dynasty been not only broke, but heavily in Debt," Queenie explained with a touch of melancholy.
"Severely. The Eighth Duchess, Thin Ice, had little business sense and rather than let the grand gem mines of the region be a sustainable resource... chose to dig them until there wasn't any 'seed gems' left for the innate magic of the land to grow more from. She squandered the wealth on making things 'pretty' and ever since his reign the family coffers have been... somewhat light. As a result we have a beautiful town and I have a magnificent home... and a country where every Stallion, Mare and foal has to pull their weight to make ends meet."
“Talk about a ironically appropriate name...” Grapes uttered. “Because that’s exactly where she left her descendants. I’m surprised that none of her relatives tried to stop her foolishness.”
"This was still in an era where people still respected the Golden Rule... the one where whomsoever has the gold, makes the rules. And nopony wants to be the one to rock the boat when everypony seems to be making bits hoof over fetlock. It was once the mines were empty, the money spent and the foreign workers hired to do the job packed up and took said Bits with them to parts.. foreign, did anypony suddenly look about and realise we were now in a very deep... picturesque hole. Our mining may have boomed but in the end, like all fast-growth industries it went bust." Grapes nodded, as she handed her envelope to the postpony. She then left the line, and waited for Queenie to finish her business.
“I like the modern-day Golden Rule better,” Grapes observed, when Queenie met her by the door. “But that was a different era, I think. Since you’re not going home, what do you intend to do for winter?”
"Well I will be headed home. Normally this time of year I get ready for the long drudgery of prancing about in a black and white chambermaid outfit, kowtowing to rude tourists and bawdy powder-trash with pockets full of foolishly spent bits... oh... joy," Queenie deadpanned in a way that let Grapes knew she had learned well from her. "Mother and Father who are 'officially' the Innkeeper and Chef at the Valley's largest hotel... my ancestral Manse... have informed me that this year, I may have a holiday of my own. They somehow managed to get some interns this year. Ponies who work for experience rather than pay. I have to head home for a week or two, teach them what's necessary to do their duties and then..." she paused and tilted her head up at the bright blue sky, the sunlight catching her hair and making it glimmer like gold. "My first true vacation since... ever."
“You have learned well, my faithful student,” Grapes said jokingly. “So... what do you intend to do?”
"I'll finally have time for... well.. for ME. I'm not certain I'll know what to do with it. Maybe I'll come back to Ponyville and just... let the world pass me by for a change," Queenie said before she paused a moment then seemed a little unsure of herself. "I... don't suppose I could stay here, could I? I've been sending home the bulk of my earnings to help ease the needs of my subjects and... I don't think I can afford a hotel to stay at AND still afford to eat." Grapes stopped, a stunned look on her face slowly morphing into one of sheer panic.
“I... don’t have any more guest rooms... And I will NOT put anypony on the couch,” Grapes uttered. “And the bunkhouse is NOT set up for winter borders.”
"Well it's all right. I've slept in worse places... trust me. And I... wait... guest rooms? Who shall be IN those rooms?"
"Sirocco and Earshot," Grapes replied. "They asked to stay, too. Earshot for the whole Hearth's Warming experience, and Sirocco... Well she can't really go back to the Dune Sea, and she said that Grapevine Hills feels like 'home' to her, so... yeah."
"Really? How odd..." Queenie mused.
"What's so odd about it?"
"Just that... well... Perhaps since your Vineyard is the one location I've spent the most time on serving as a Storm-Rider, it's actually been feeling quite... home-like to me as well. Funny, isn't it?"
"Even with a heaping helping of snarky unicorn?" Grapes asked with a self-depreciating grin.
"Oh, especially with that. Your snark is actually intelligent and well-timed. Trust me. I've had to deal with poorly executed unintelligent and witless for some time and I can appreciate the effort you put into your quality snark." Grapes just blinked at Queenie a couple of times, then laughed merrily. She smiled at her as they headed down the street. "Look... all jest aside we Storm-Riders HAVE roosted in strange and far more uncomfortable places than your Vineyard. Your couch would be quite adequate compared to some locations in recent memory. Heck, with my high resistance to cold I'd be happy with sleeping in the barn all winter... Provided there's fresh hay and a blanket."
“If you don’t mind the couch, which is quite comfortable, then you’re there,” Grapes said. “No winter guest of mine gets stuck in the barn, no matter HOW cold resistant they are.”
"It's not my fault that I have good wintering genes," Queenie giggled. "It's been said that the Ice clan has frost in their blood. We're certain that it's meant as a compliment and not a reminder of the tenth Duke, Ice Heart the dispassionate."
"Maybe you can tell me your family history over the winter, hm?" Grapes asked.
"Oh I would love to. Mother and Father would drill me on it until I had the entire line committed to memory. It just doesn't come up in conversation enough to really justify that... buuuuut it's 'TRADITIONAL'.”
"There are a multitude of silly things carried on for the sake of tradition," Grapes said with a roll of her eyes. "Sometime they should be looked upon, critically, and given the boot for being useless. History, though, isn't one of them. History tells us the mistakes of the past so we do not repeat them."
"I usually repeat it when I go to bed... helps me fall to sleep quicker."
Grapes snerked. "Sounds about right. Okay. So now I've got three guests. And I was worried about being lonely this winter."
"You may really enjoy showing Earshot Hearth’s Warming. When he remembers to sing in a pitch normal ponies can hear.... ah... he has the most gorgeous voice," Queenie said with a smile.
"I am going to really enjoy showing Earshot Hearth's Warming. Sirocco, too," Grapes asserted, then poked Queenie. "And you're going to help."
"I'd love to. Earshot is wonderful... like the little brother I would have loved to have had."
"Good. It'll be nice to have a friend helping me."
"So... do you want me to bring back the family album to help paint a better picture of Avalanche Valley?" Queenie asked.
"Don't see why not. Might be nifty to see your parents... and your baby pictures. Bet you were a darling foal," Grapes observed, mentally making a note to bring out her own family album.
"Oh. Why thank you, Grapes. It also includes photographs of the paintings and statues done of all my ancestors... You may not care for Thin Ice's statue. It's been a target of public aggression for centuries starting with its relocation in the back of Deadbeat alley."
Grapes chuckled. "Oh, it's fine. Good to have something to vent at, hm?"
"Oh yes. Pity really... the one painting the family hid away in the attic showed she was a fairly striking Mare. Still she did bring her legacy on herself." Grapes nodded sagely.
"Ah well... at least her statue has become a good punishment for those who push our hospitality past the breaking point. The judge usually forces such moral trespassers to clean it."
Grapes grinned. "Sweet. Wish I had something like that.”
"I can tell you how. First you need to find somepony who is a terrible example..." Queenie teased.
"Li-i-ike... Blueballs?" Grapes asked with a very impish grin.
"Oh... oh yes... yes yes yes yes," she laughed.
The next day Grapes decided to get a start on putting the insulating hay over the roots of the grapevines for the winter season. She was sure she could get some help, later, but she wanted to get a start, at least. She was about halfway down the first row, when Summer Squall landed nearby.
"Arr... Miss Grapes. May I have a moment of your time?" Grapes looked up quizzically at the sea-green pegasus.
"Ah duh shee eye naw," Grapes said the pitchfork still in her teeth.
"Wonderful. I ah... seem to have an interesting situation on me hooves this year, that I didn't before."
Grapes raised an eyebrow, then put the pitchfork down, making a couple of faces to return the flexibility to her lips after being used as a gripping mechanism. "And what, if I may be so bold as to ask, would that be?"
"Well. In no small part to your good work offer, for the first time in a few decades I find m'self with the curious addition to my life known as a 'Home Address'," Squall chuckled and sat down. "It's something odd to get used to, but strangely convenient. For a large part of my life I've been making due with checking a post-office box in Seaside but due to the nature of me work with the Storm-Riders you can guess how long between visits that can be."
Grapes nodded. "I can imagine," she observed.
"Well I visited Seaside a few days ago to clear out the remains of that box and made a point of visiting the local Watering hole." He paused a moment and his eyes seemed to stare off into the horizon as he smiled in the way only an old pony could when confronted with a good memory . "T'is owned by a lovely lass. Full Pint. She slings a mean Algae Cider as well as a mean right hoof when someone tries to put the blinders on her. Anyways I visit, intending to have a quick one for the road when she asks where've I've been keeping m'self these days. Well, says I. I told 'er how I had become gainfully employed by a straight-talking landlubber all these months, who even gave us a residence to stay."
"They make cider out of algae? How would that work? You'd almost be making a whiskey out of it, by turning any algae into something akin to a mash," Grapes mused, obviously sidetracked by the errata.
"I never said it went down smooth," Squall said tapping the side of his nose with his hoof.
"... And now that I'm curious about it, I'm half-tempted to try making something palatable... Great, I'm Applejack Wagering myself ..."
The sea green pegasus chuckled and went back to his story. "So there I was, telling her about the Vineyard and how it have become my place of residence when she laughs and throws her bar-rag at me and tells me 'Now isn't that lovely. I finally have a place to send your bill you wharf rat.' I think she was impressed that I actually have a place to call home. And it suddenly dawned on me that I've been staying in flop-houses, hostels, cheap motels and even barns these past few decades, and that this... this place has been the first place in all that time that has had me feeling like I've come home when I walk through the big gate out front. Funny, ain't it. I was born on the oceans, I have salt water in me veins but here in this landlocked tract of property I actually find myself hesitating to fly away from for something as small as a holiday."
Grapes stood there, looking stunned. "You... consider Grapevine Hills home? Are you asking to stay the winter, too?"
"Well it's not as if I really have a home to go TO. Me father, Scrimshaw, is still stomping about but we were never the touchy-feely types. He loves me in his own rough way and he knows I love the old gaffer back. It's a Stallion-y kind of affection. But to answer your question, Aye. This place has become my home more than any OTHER port, and yes... I would like to winter here." Squall paused as if something occurred to him. "You say I'm not the first to ask this question?"
“Well it started with Sirocco. She can’t go back to the Great Dune Sea, and she said that the Vineyard felt a lot like home to her. I was feeling a touch down, because you all were probably going to be heading off for your own holidays, and to your own families, so I was happy to say ‘yes’,” Grapes started to explain. “Then Earshot asked to stay so he could get the whole Day-Pony Hearth’s Warming experience. The last one to ask was Queenie. She’s getting a little vacation from having to play chambermaid at her family’s resort in Avalanche Valley. And now I don’t have any room in the house... Sirocco got the guest room. Earshot got my old bedroom, and Queenie was going to be on the couch. She volunteered to be on the couch, believe it or not. I have NO clue where I could put you to be honest.”
Summer Squall looked at her with the most kindly... fatherly expression she had seen anypony other than her own father give, and placed his hooves on her shoulders. "It's alright lass. Take a moment, and we'll look at this problem... no, hmm not problem... CHALLENGE from another angle. Shall we?"
"The challenge is that the bunkhouse is unsuitable for guests," Grapes said with a slight smirk. "Considering how things have been going, it won't be long before Firestormer, and Stormy ask to winter, here, too."
"It does look that way, doesn't it. Arr... Let me think a moment."
"Well... The main problem is insulation. But after Wrap-Up, we could see about building a new bunkhouse, with some real rooms."
He chuckled and stepped out of the frames to take a better look at the Bunkhouse. "I can honestly say that while she's not in her prime anymore I have worked with worse. When your new barn was built was there any lumber left over?"
"Yes. It's stored in the barn, itself," Grapes replied. "And Grapevine Hills did very well, this year. Having you guys on the payroll really reduced my overhead."
“Well you're about to find yourself with another small windfall," Squall said sitting back on his haunches and hooking his hooves into the 'pitts' of the jacket he was wearing. "You happen to be looking at an experienced carpenter with no small talent in working in the medium of wood. Give me a few weeks, and a few ponies to lend a hoof and I can insulate and make her watertight enough to go to sea in."
"We've got a few weeks, and there are a few ponies about town, unless you were wanting to use the other Riders as labor," Grapes said with a grin. "But I don't think we need to take the bunkhouse to sea."
"Well, it just may wind up that way. I learned all me carpentry from me father Scrimshaw, who was... and really still is one of the finest Shipwrights in all of Equestria. You only get one chance to get a boat right so you gotta be good. Especially with these newfangled Airships. He's currently working on making one for some fancy bigwig in Canterlot... should be ready by next year. But that's only because of the decorative aspect. What we're looking at here is four walls, a roof and the fiddly bits inside."
"That's right. But we'll work out the plans for the new bunkhouse, come spring. If you are going to be actually LIVING here, you should have a good home, not something intended for temp workers to flop in," Grapes said with a nod.
"Fair enough. Fair enough. But don't expect me to do a shoddy job just because we're rushin' things," Squall uttered with a nod.
"Why would I expect that? You're a craftspony, right?" Grapes asked.
"You know what I mean." he smirked.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
It was early Fall in Ponyville, with the last vestiges of Summer giving way to the cooler weather of Autumn, the leaves just beginning to turn from vibrant green to the glorious reds and golds of the season. Sour Grapes, Sirocco, and Earshot had traveled to Ponyville in order to do some pre-winter shopping, so they would have proper clothing for the coming season. The trio had made a day of it, enjoying all that the Ponyville Market had to offer. Lunch at Horsia’s, apple treats from the Apple Family cart, various grains, fruits and vegetables from around the square. Donuts for breakfast, tomorrow, came from Sugarcube Corner as well as desserts. Sirocco, being very number-aware, was very wise with her bits. Earshot on the other hoof... not as much. His Saddlebags bulged with impulse purchases based off of color or novelty, not that he COULDN'T afford it. He apparently hadn't spent very much of the cash he had earned as both a Storm-Rider as well in her employ, but there was more than once Grapes and Sirocco had to carefully remind the enthusiastic young colt that he probably didn't NEED a particular item. His favorite purchase happened to be brightly colored earmuffs, as the bright scarlet pair he currently wore bore a silent but obvious testament.
"I've never actually gone shopping like this before," Earshot chirped, pressing his face against the glass of the Quills and Sofas. "I've bought stuff but I've never actually gone out for a whole DAY for shopping. Ooh... those are Be-YOU-tiful pens! Grandma would love them!"
"Doing some early Hearth's Warming shopping, Earshot?" Grapes asked, chuckling.
"Yeah... well... when you told me that the nice stuff isn't expensive down here, I began thinking of making a parcel of things to send home. I know they'll love some of this... I wish I could send that sofa there to Grandma. It looks so comfortable compared to the one she uses, but delivery is the problem... We have to use the local pony express office and... they don't really like ‘Night Deliveries’ there, if you know what I mean."
"Yes. Yes I do... Considering what they do to you and yours, I'm not surprised. They probably don't want your people to know that there's a whole country out here, that MIGHT decide to trade with them," Grapes observed.
"Yeah. I like it here in Ponyville though. The people are so nice, even if they look at me a little funny it's a nice kinda funny... is that weird?" Earshot asked.
"More curious than mean, sorta?" Grapes inquired.
"Yeah. Especially the Cakes. They're really nice... They say they're used to ponies who are REALLY different."
Grapes looked around, chuckling, then grinned down at Earshot. "Be glad you've got those earmuffs on, squirt," she said.
"HIIIIEEE!" squealed a pink pony that seemed to just appear out of nowhere. "I'm Pinkie Pie! Who are you? Are you new? Wow, you look different. You MUST be new, 'cause I know everybody - and I do mean EVERYBODY - in Ponyville! I saw you, and your pals, a while back, and realized you were new, but I got so caught up with Featherweight’s Barnmitzvah, I forgot!"
The Night Pony blinked then laughed, his wings fluttering in surprise and glee. "Heya I'm Earshot! You’re Pinkie Pie? I've heard your voice ALL over Ponyville, nopony else sounds like you. You look a LOT like you sound! I mean I wasn't exactly sure what you look like from the way you sound but now that I see you I can say you sound like you look!"
"WOW! You must have REALLY good ears to hear me all over Ponyville! But you're new... OH!" Pinkie uttered noticing Sirocco. "And YOU'RE new too! TWO new ponies! You know what THIS calls for!"
"A party?" Grapes deadpanned.
"A PARTY!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Wow! You like to party a lot, don't you? I keep hearing about you always throwing parties..." Earshot observed.
Sirocco blinked and cocked her head to one side. "Is this true? You must be really STRONG to throw a whole party." Grapes blinked, then laughed.
"Sirocco, she's not literally throwing... The phrase 'throw a party' means the process of setting up, then having a party," Grapes explained.
"Ahhhh. I got the words right, but not their meaning," Sirocco said, thoughtfully.
"Of course I wouldn't literally throw a whole party. That'd be silly. I'd have to be strong as a dragon, if I could do that," Pinkie giggled. "But I put together and have parties all the time."
"Ah. And so you must be very flatulent to set up so many parties, yes? After all such activities are no doubt quite costly," Sirocco stated.
"I only get flatulent if I eat a lot of Golden Harvest's five bean salad. Not an experience I want to repeat, but WOW was that salad good!" Pinkie uttered.
"She means 'affluent', Pinkie," Grapes explained.
"Oh? Why didn't she say that, then?" Pinkie asked with her usual guilelessness.
"She's not from Equestria, originally, so her grasp of the language is still firming," Grapes replied.
"Really? Kinda like Zecora? That's neat! Though I guess Zecora learned Equestrian from songs, and poetry, 'cause she speaks in rhyme," Pinkie giggled, smiling at the exotic pegasus.
"Who is this... Zecora? I have not yet heard of her," Sirocco asked, looking curious.
"She's a Zebra herbalist, and potion maker," Grapes explained to Sirocco.
"Oh! I've got to get the supplies!" Pinkie said dashing off.
"But..." Earshot said as Pinkie dashed off into the distance. "...we didn't even tell her where we were staying."
"She'll probably figure it out," Grapes said shaking her head.
"I like her... she's neat! She didn't even seem to notice how different I look."
"Indeed... that in itself is enough to wish her to be your friend," Sirocco agreed, rubbing the top of Earshot's head and mussing his mane.
"Well... Now you know what the Cakes ment by they're used to 'different ponies'," Grapes said with a chuckle.
"OH! So she's their daughter? I don't see a resemblance... well other than the lingering smell of Sugar Cookies," Earshot observed.
"No. She's their employee," Grapes elaborated as she lead them onward.
"Ohhhh... Still it explains a lot."
"So ready to head back home?" Sour Grapes asked as they turned toward the road to Sweet Apple Acres, and Grapevine Hills.
"I believe so. Mixing some of what we have bought with my existing wardrobe will no doubt be very helpful. As cold as the desert can get at night, I have been with Queenie when we had to deal with storms that are very... vicious," Sirocco observed.
Earshot looked around and sighed. "I guess... There is just so much to buy when you actually feel like buying things."
"It's not like you're NOT going to come back, Earshot," Grapes observed.
"I know," he said looking quite chastised. "It's that whole thing about being here NOW."
"I hear you. You tend to wonder if they'll have it the next time, but..." Grapes trailed off, and shrugged.
"Well I'll still have money for it then, and it may be better off in my shoe drawer at the moment,” the night pony observed, thoughtfully.
"True... It's better to set money aside for an emergency, rather than spend it all at once,” Grapes said sagely.
Earshot looked at his saddlebags, already too heavy for him to fly. "Ok... I'm good."
"Well you've got quite a few nifty things," the brown unicorn observed with a chuckle.
"I know! Won't Grandmother be so surprised at what gets sent to her and the others! Thank you for letting me know that... nice things don't have to be expensive."
"Well, I keep saying that place is short-changing you and yours," Grapes observed.
"I'm beginning to actually see that now," Earshot said as they trotted along.
"Beginning to get an idea... Maybe next winter, we can go and visit your village," Grapes suggested with a smile.
"I... I think that maybe if this Hearth's Warming goes well... and I can tell my people how nice everyone is during this season, Grandmother may allow that."
"I'd like to meet your Grandmother,” Grapes said with a smile.
"I'd like you to meet her too. She's really a wonderful and wise pony. Everypony back home respects her. Even the grand council, and they don't really HAVE to listen to her, but they always do," Earshot observed, thoughtfully.
"Well... She sounds like a very nice pony. I'm pretty sure we could come to something equitable for both parties... Hmmm... I bet Applejack may like to exchange farming tips with your farmers...” Grapes said, then blinked, and shook her head with a slight chuckle. "Oh... dear... Just thought of something else, too..."
“What?” Earshot asked, his ears perked up in the manner that showed he was genuinely curious.
"Rarity. She's sure to think that your people being deprived of vibrant colors, and proper materials to be a crime against... something," Grapes said waving a hoof in a vague manner.
"Oh? Well.. she could talk to our clothsmiths. Maybe she could work something out with them," the night pony said, with a nod, as they trotted along.
"... Clothsmiths?" Grapes asked, pondering the word.
"Yeah... they work with cloth. Knitting, weaving, dyeing, sewing... Kinda little like a blacksmith does with metal." Grapes just looked at the colt, blinking a few seconds, then chuckling at the logic.
"Yeah, but they're usually called 'Tailors' or 'seamstresses', here, depending on gender..." Grapes observed.
"Ohhhh... that sounds so pretty. I'll have to put that in my next letter," Earshot gleefully enthused, skipping around happily.
Sirocco mussed Earshot's mane and smiled. "Come Earshot, we shall help you write the letter home telling of how you have chosen to stay at your home away from home. After all... Home is where you wear your hat."
"Hang your hat," Grapes corrected.
"Why would I hang my hat? Whatever did it do to me?" Sirocco asked, sounding shocked.
“Ugh... Not, like, with a noose, Sirocco. On a hat stand or a hook, to keep it from being on the floor," Grapes uttered, rolling her eyes, barely preventing herself from facehoofing.
"Ahhh. Yes. Then it would make sense that one's home would be a good place to hang one's hat. Would you like a frozen milk confectionery before we head back to the Vineyard?" Sirocco asked with a smile. "I can hardly get enough of them... I fear if I do not withhold myself I would eat bowlfuls until I weighed too much to fly."
"It's close to dinner time, guys. And you had ice cream after lunch," Grapes said, as they trotted along the road.
"Awwwww," chorused her companions, but the tone was playful enough that Grapes knew not to take it seriously. They walked past the cafe where amid the other ponies, the bright red-orange coat of Firestormer caught her eye like a flare. He was sitting on the patio, chewing thoughtfully on a sandwich as he read through a pile of mail.
"Hey, Firestormer. What's got you so down?" Grapes asked, coming to a stop in front of the brightly hued pegasus.
"Mmm? Oh hey, Grapes. I'm just catching up on my mail. Being a Storm-Rider is a big part of my life, but I got a legacy with the Mom and Dad's business I gotta keep on top of. Some of this is a correspondence course for learning how to run a business, some is Business Records so I can learn to apply what I'm learning to it and some... Woah," he stopped as he stared at the letter in his hoof. Grapes stood there, casually, obviously waiting for the other horse shoe to fall. "It's from my parents. They're coming HERE for Hearths Warming."
"Congratulations. Do you know where they're going to be staying?" Grapes asked.
"I... oh wow, I don't know. Uhm... the Inn?" Firestormer uttered questioningly.
"Booked up," Grapes said. "They're usually the first to be booked for Hearth's Warming."
"Oh fewmets... uh... yeah. I got some things to do," Firestormer said as he got up and started sweeping papers into his saddlebags and shoveling his lunch into his mouth. "I'll thee you guyth in a while.
"Try the bed and breakfast by the Spa," Grapes suggested.
Tossing a few bits on the table he stopped a moment, then looked up and smiled, not a pretty picture with a mouthful of daisy sandwich. "Thanth Grapth." She had never actually seen him fly beyond just local fluttering, but she had heard from the others he was the fastest on the team. Now she could see why, in a heartbeat he became a three dimensional smear of orange and yellow with a gust of wind in his wake. No doubt he could give Rainbow dash a decent run for her money.
"Well that was different," Grapes observed. "Well we'd better head back. He’ll probably burn off that sandwich in time for dinner. Any requests? And no, Earshot, you can’t add any special ingredients to dinner.”
"Aw... And I wanted popcorn."
"For dinner?" asked Grapes, curiously.
"Is there something wrong with that?" Earshot asked.
"Perhaps later, little one. I am more in the mood for turnips, boiled, mashed and drenched in swaths of butter," Sirocco observed.
"Boiled turnips. Anything on the side, Sirocco?" Grapes asked.
"I am not certain... Earshot? What about you?" Sirocco queried, looking down at the young Night Pony
"Maybe regular corn then?" Earshot suggested.
"I have noticed you seem to like corn a great deal,” the foreign mare observed.
"I don't get a lot of it at home,” the night pony explained.
"What say you, Sour Grapes? Do we have any canned corn?" Sirocco asked turning to the chocolate brown unicorn.
"We'll see. If not I'll see if Applejack has some,” Grapes replied.
"Thank you Miss Grapes."
"Always glad to help. With Stormy away visiting his mother, You've been having to endure my cooking," she joked.
"Yes. But not his baking. His 453.592 gram cake feels like a brick in one's gut,” Sirocco said with a grimace.
"Pound cake?" Grapes asked, doing some quick mental figuring.
"Oh yes... Pound Cake."
"Well, pound cake is usually a pretty dense cake, anyway... Just when Stormy makes it, it's more like... well... ten-pound cake," Grapes observed with a grimace.
Earshot hung his head and pouted. "Any kind of sweet stuff he bakes leaves you feeling so heavy you can't even fly... but it's so GOOD you can't stop yourself from eating it."
"Kind of like a trap, isn't it?" Grapes asked, shaking her head.
"Indeed. I know of a few ill-personalitied pegasai I would love to send a box of cookies to,” Sirocco said with a sour look on her face.
"The wouldn't happen to be members of the Wonderbolts, would they?" Grapes asked casually.
There was a moment of silence from the stately pony before she answered. "...not all."
"There's a story behind that, I reckon," Grapes observed.
"Yes there is. Suffice it to say that my family could use some good grounding for a time."
"That bad?"
"You helped me learn the correct words for ‘You cannot go home again’, but I have known the meaning for a long time. My family is mired in foalishness and slog their way through tradition for the sake of tradition. Instead of embracing our beliefs to reach for the stars they use it as an excuse to stick their heads in the mud," uttered Sirocco, who paused a moment realising from the expressions of her companions the edge her words were gaining. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "They will not adapt to a changing world. They refuse to welcome change... and so I could only do them one service... and remove myself from their herd, so that they can continue to atrophy without anything to offend them."
"There are some ponies, here, that are like that, Sirocco. They are everywhere. Just not in charge, thank the stars," Grapes said fervently.
"I know. Perhaps that's one reason the Wonderbolts irk me so. They are impressive, yes.. but ultimately they are the best fliers for no other reason to be the best. Tradition for no other reason than tradition makes it meaningless," the foreign mare uttered with a frown of distaste
"There may be more to it. Just takes a bit more research into the background," Grapes mused, thoughtfully.
"I am proud to serve as a Storm-Rider. Beside my new family I have purpose, my actions have meaning," Sirocco said with a happy smile.
"You really think of us as a family, Sirocco?" Earshot asked his eyes going wide.
"Of course I do little one. You are the little brother I wished I could have had growing up,” she said.
"So we're all your brothers and sisters?"
"Well maybe not Summer Squall. He is the wise father I should have gotten were the world an amusement park," Sirocco mused, thoughtfully.
"'Were the world an amusement park'?" Grapes asked.
This time it was Earshot who screwed up his face in thought and sorted out an answer. "Amusement Park... carnival... circus... FAIR! If the world was fair."
“Sounds legit,” Grapes said casually.
"Ah! Yes... thank you Earshot," Sirocco said with a small smile.
----~O~O~O~-----
Dinner was still being cooked when there was a loud grinding noise outside. A sound she now recognised as Firestormer's way of coming to a halt on her gravel driveway. Sour Grapes counted to three and there was a loud rapping at her door. She turned to where Earshot and Sirocco were tending to the dinner to be sure she wasn't needed before opening the door to Firestormer’s frantic knocking.
“How’d it go?” Grapes asked without preamble.
"It's great. Just perfect. I got the last place in town for the holidays. Mrs. Lacy Doily was more than happy to reserve her bed and breakfast for me but I still needed to pay in advance for it." He took a deep breath and exhaled, before pulling out the letter he read earlier and holding it out to her. She recognised the Art-deco styled Scarlet pegasus of his family Courier service on the stationary. The hoofwriting was jealously-invoking though. Crisp, tight curls and neat lines that were easy to read, in comparison to her own pensmareship. "I think I got a mark-up too on the price, but sometimes you gotta take what you can get. Anyways you can see mom and dad are just dying to meet you. Apparently they think you're the bees knees. Go figure."
Grapes tilted her head, raising an eyebrow at this revelation. "Earshot isn't the only one who's been telling the world about yours truly."
"Well. Yeah. But I haven't put you on a pillar or anything," Firestormer asserted. "I just talked a lot about your operation here, how fairly you treat us, how even handed you are in doing business... "
"Was I mentioned, when you discussed the past with them?" Grapes asked, with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, of COURSE. I mean you can't talk about your work without talking about you. You're kinda part and parcel with the whole thing.”
“That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it, Firestormer. Not my past, but yours,” Grapes said quietly.
"Well... yes. I mean you got me to admit some things I really didn't want to think about. Credit where it's due," the fiery hued pegasus said with a slight grimace.
"This is going to be interesting. But why did you feel the need to come beating down the door?" Grapes asked, stepping aside to let him in. "And I hope you like mashed turnips."
"Turnips? Sirocco's cooking I take it. Uhm... well the thing is... I was so happy that I got the last bed in town that I suddenly realised..." Firestormer started.
"You don't have a place to stay?" Grapes asked, apparently finishing his sentence.
"I was faster than my brain... story of my life. Um... This is gonna sound dumb but..."
"Can you stay here for the holidays? Don't see why not. You're going to have to help get the Bunkhouse finished, of course," Grapes added. “As it turns out, it’s not an original idea, staying here for the winter.”
"So... that's why the sudden rush to renovate before winter?" Firestormer asked.
"Yes. Mainly because I ran out of room in the house. It was fine for three mares and a young colt, but once Squall asked..." Grapes said trailing off and shrugging. "Well you can see where things got a bit... complicated."
"I would have been willing to tough it out in the Bunkhouse. Whether it's like a sieve or not. Still... this will give me a chance to look over Squall's plans, make certain that the new Bunkhouse will be reasonably fire-proof," Firestormer said, drawing himself up with a new air of purpose.
"Alrighty. The ladies and I have been getting supplies laid in... Earshot's been doing some early Hearth's Warming shopping for his family."
"I'll help Squall with the construction... and help you with the last of the harvest work of course. You're paying your bits for work," the red pegasus said, thoughtfully.
"Well we've almost got it wrapped up. There's not much to be done. Though I could pay a little bit for keeping an eye on the heaters in the caves," Grapes mused. “But, really, it’s kind of boring here. Will be nice to have you over the winter, but I can’t really do much beyond room and board.”
"Well at least you'd be getting a pony who actually has an idea how heaters work." he said with a smirk. "Took a correspondence course in Heater repair a few years back."
"I know how heaters work, too. Mainly because I read the instructions... Have read the instructions. Several times," Grapes asserted, deadpan. “Did I mention how boring it is, here, during the winter?”
"I'm sure we’ll liven things up a little. I am glad to hear you have read the instructions though. Some ponies are really good at working stuff like that intuitively, but most others... well... you'd be surprised at the statistics."
“No. I probably wouldn’t,” Grapes said, still in that deadpan voice. “I’ve probably read those, too, during a blizzard.”
"Well if it helps, dad's probably gonna bring his movie projector and tons of old family movies. He's quite the camera-bug."
"Cool. Somepony else's home movies," Grapes chuckled. "Anything embarrassing? We going to see you galloping about clad in soapsuds or something? Oh great. I'm probably going to have to dig that out, aren't I?"
"Chances are I'm gonna get totally embarrassed. I'd probably blush the whole time if it could actually be seen on these cheeks."
"I can only hope that my parents can't make it for Hearth's Warming... Then you would see the soapsuds flick."
"I think jaybirding is pretty much a standard for parental embarrassment,” Firestormer observed.
"Don't see how. We go around sans pantalones most of the time," Grapes observed.
"Yeah but when you're a foal and just out of the tub there's something... humiliating about a photo of it when you're all grown up for some reason."
"Even if you can remember it being fun, when you did it," Grapes said chuckling.
"And you know deep down they're saving it up for blackmail so they have a retirement fund,” Firestormer groused.
"Or just to get back at you for having fun at their expense," Grapes said. "After all my parents saved for their retirement fund."
He was quiet a moment then looked up at her with a sheepish grin. "Thanks for having so many of us for the holidays."
"Eh, better than being stuck with a pile of books I've read a million times before," Grapes quipped. "Just need Stormy to ask, to finish the set."
"Well fat chance on that one. He's a total Momma's Colt at Hearth's Warming. He will head back to Maneland come drought or high water,” Firestomer asserted with a smirk.
"We'll see. I bet you a portabella marsala dinner that he'll ask before the season's out," Grapes said with a smirk. "If you win, I'll cook. If I win, you have to get it from Horsa's."
The young pony slicked back his yellow mane before extending his hoof. "A sucker's bet, but heck... I'm in."
"Maybe. But at least from Horsa's, it won't be Istallion food by way of Crescent City." The two ponies shook on it, and just in time.
Sirocco trotted into the room and called out "Dinner is served!"
"C'mon, flyboy, let's eat," Grapes quipped.
"Sounds like a good idea to me."
----~O~O~O~-----
The next morning, breakfast was had, and everypony was setting up for the day's chores. There wasn't, really, much to do, with the harvest winding down. Grapes and Earshot were forking hay over the roots of the grapevines, Ice Storm was pruning the vines that had been harvested, Firestormer and Squall were working on the bunkhouse. Stormfront had yet to return from his visit to his hometown of Maneland. Grapes caught Ice Storm staring at the grapes that had yet to ripen.
“You look like you’re pondering something, Queenie,” Grapes observed, as she trotted up to the ice blue pegasus. “Care to share?”
"Well You're leaving these grapes up awfully late in the season. You're risking them getting a touch of frost, you're not depending on it are you?"
"Yes, actually. I was going to experiment in Ice Wine. Just to see how well it turns out,” Grapes replied. “Why do you ask?”
"It... It was something I was looking into back home. A way to help get a little more income into the community. You grow grapes and you harvest the ones that are ripe just as the frost comes and freezes them solid. then you smoosh and get the juices while they're still frozen... You see? Less water in the juice means the flavor isn't as watered down before fermenting. We... tried growing grapes as an experiment. Collected seeds from the grapes we used, set aside some land and found out we knew fewmets-all about tending them," Queenie explained. "Pardon my Prancian."
“Heh. I can imagine that you found out you knew buck all about grapes pretty quickly,” Grapes observed. “It really depends on the variety. There are some that do well in high altitudes, and some that don’t. But you have to make sure you have the right sort for mountainous climates, make sure you have the correct variety that has a late fall to early winter harvesting time, make sure the soil’s properly prepared, and a load of other factors.”
"Yeah. Now I can see that. We just used the seeds from the grapes the guests gorged themselves on... maybe not the best kind,” Ice Storm observed, looking a bit embarrassed.
"Hmmmno. Those are table grapes. Fine for serving at meals, but not so much for making wine," Grapes explained. "Those varieties of grapes have a tad TOO much sugar, which would ferment into a lot of alcohol. You're wanting wine, not hard liquor."
"Yeah... It's only now that I realised how much goes into growing grapes,” Queenie said looking at the vineyard.
"Well, you are in the right place to learn all about it," Grapes quipped merrily. "But yeah. There are a lot of ponies that don't realize how much there is to growing grapes. That's why there are so many failed hobby-wineries. Some noblepony gets it into their fool head that just because they swill the stuff at their fancy parties, they're experts on wine. Mind you, I'm talking Canterlot nobles. Meant no disrespect to your family."
"I know I spent more time in the deseeding shed than anywhere else but I have been watching. Learning where we went wrong,” Queenie said quietly.
"Well you could, also, ask my advice," Grapes said casually.
"I had been working up to that. I wasn't certain how much ridicule I might get admitting to our own attempt. Now I know better."
"I've come to know you, Queenie. I consider you a friend. You're not one of those nobleponies from Canterlot who wouldn't know a vine from a runner, but somepony who would genuinely try their best at producing a potable product. After all it's for the benefit of your family, and people," Grapes said looking straight at Ice Storm. "You're not one of those hobbyists who thought it'd be a lark to toss some vines in the ground, with no rhyme or reason, and expect wine to be produced somehow."
"Thank you, Grapes. And you've become as good a friend as I could ask for in this world. I must admit that working under you, I have learned so much. And if you would have me, I would like to learn more."
"Teaching you the wine business would be something to do during the winter," Grapes said with a grin.
"We would both gain something. I could learn a skill that would lend to the financial needs of my people, and you would have a welcome diversion during the long winter months."
"That's always a good thing in my opinion," Grapes said with a grin.
A large shadow passed overhead, momentarily blotting out the sun. Queenie looked up and smiled. "Well well well... guess who came back from momma-bird's nest."
“He looks hap--YEEEE!”
There was a feeling of fore legs wrapping around her and the world suddenly shrinking below. Flight was scary in itself for Grapes, but to be swung about like some kind of dance partner in the grasp of a laughing pegasus was downright terrifying. "Hahahahah! Grapes! It's WONDERFUL! Oh my goodness it's AMAZING! Finally something GOOD has happened for Mom!"
"That's wonderful, now PUT ME DOWN!" Grapes yelped fearfully.
"She won the Royal Equestrian Lottery! You hear me? SHE WON! Grand Prize! All expense-paid trip around the world on one of those new Airships! Finally! Oh Celestia FINALLY she's going to have someone looking after HER for a change," Stormfront crowed joyfully.
"And if you don't put me down, WHO IN THE HAY WILL BE LOOKING AFTER YOU IN THE HOSPITAL!"
"What? OH! Sorry! Sorry about that," Stormy said spreading his wings and slowly glided in for a gentle landing next to her mother's small flower garden. "My bad... I forgot that air travel doesn't agree with you..."
Grapes staggered around a bit, before ducking into the begonias, and sounds of gut-wrenching retching issued from the flower bed. The pegasus winced, then went to the water trough to bring back a small full bucket and one of the towels that Ice Storm had been hanging up nearby in case of somepony desiring to wash themselves in a 'rustic' manner.
"I am SO sorry.. I was just in such a good mood..." Stormfront uttered, looking embarrassed.
"Obviously," Grapes uttered, sounding woozy. "Ugh... I'm happy for your mom, and all, but you grabbed me when I was feeling particularly 'earthy'... Ooogle..."
"Well... at least your plants will grow well next spring." Grapes simply gave Stormy a flat look that said... quite a lot actually.
“So. Your mother is going to be heading off for a ‘round the world airship cruise? When does she leave?” she asked.
"Just before Winter begins. By the time the snows hit she will be in warmer climes,” the gray pegasus said happily.
"So... She won't be home on Hearth's Warming?"
The guilty look he had before now turned to sadness as he nodded. "Well.. yeah. That's the downside. No big Hearths Warming homecoming for me. I got a copy of the ship's itinerary so I can fly up when I want. My wings are perfect for long-distance travel, so maybe we can have a dinner or something."
“Where will you be staying, then?” Grapes asked.
"Well... I could still go back to Maneland and stay there. I mean an empty home is still home, right?" Stormy pondered.
"Yes, but you'll be all by yourself, and on Hearth's Warming, too. Won't you get lonely?" Grapes asked.
"Yeah. But I don't have a lot of options. I mean flying south for the winter is one of them but it's not like I could stay here. You've mentioned before how the Bunkhouse isn't built for severe cold weather," Stormfront replied.
"Yeah, I had mentioned that... Before we started renovating it... Funny story..."
"I'm going to need to be filled in then," he said giving her that oh so nice smile. "Looks like even being out of town for a few days can put me completely out of the loop."
"Well it all started when I discovered that Sirocco would make a fantastic accountant. She helped me with my taxes, and I put her in charge of the finances, because of her math prowess. I can slog my way through, just fine, but she's quicker and more accurate. Then she asked to stay the winter," Grapes explained. "Obviously she can't go home. Then Earshot said he wished to stay, too, and experience Hearth's Warming, and after that Queenie found herself in possession of some vacation time, but not in possession of enough bits to stay in the local inn..."
"Wow. You're really racking them up," Stormy observed.
"So, two mares and a young colt. Shouldn't be a problem in the farmhouse, right? After all I have two guest rooms, and Queenie volunteered to sleep on the sofa. Then a complication named Summer Squall entered the mix. He asked if he could stay, too. So here I am, with a full house, and a bunkhouse that isn't fit for winter habitation. That's where the renovations came in. Squall was only too happy to volunteer his carpentry skills to renovate the Bunkhouse, to make it habitable in the winter months, AND give you rooms that you don't have to go to the common area in order to change your mind," continued Sour Grapes, obviously enjoying telling the story.
Stormfront glanced back at his wings and giving them a little flex, chuckled. "And my disproportionate limbs thank you for okaying that."
"Well let's just say the renovations came just in time. Because guess who's parents are coming to Ponyville for Hearth's Warming. And if you say mine, then you wasted a guess," Grapes quipped cheerfully.
"You're kidding. Firestormer's parents are coming?"
"Enope. I’m not kidding. He even got the very last room in Ponyville booked for the holiday, too," Grapes replied, with a chuckle.
"Well that's great... oh wait... the last room, huh? I'm guessing that means it's Hearths Warming Eve and there's no room at the Inns... So he came to the farmer for a place to stay," observed the big gray pegasus.
"Eyup. Came to me, and he's helping Squall with the renovations. Makes getting supplies, here, much quicker."
"Wow. I'm amazed at how far along they're coming. Looks like it could be ready in just a week or two at this rate," Stormy said, sounding amazed.
"Which is a good thing, I think. And over the winter, the decorating can be handled by those who are staying here," Grapes said with a grin.
"Oh! Oh yes... I think I have a few ideas,” Stormy said thoughtfully.
"Oh? Thought you were going to be in Mainland, over the winter," Grapes observed, oh so casually.
"Um... well... about that... You know, seeing as you're renovating the bunkhouse and everyone else will be here and everything... Do you think I might be able to stay here as well?"
"Of course. We'd be happy to have you, Stormfront," Grapes said with a grin, one ear listening for Firestormer.
"So is there anything I can do to help things along?” the large gray pegasus inquired.
"You would have to ask Squall. He's the forestallion on the job, and the expert master carpenter," Grapes replied.
Firestormer's bright orange body swooped around the side of the house, coming to a rest near Grapes and Stormy. He placed the heavy pail full of nails down and worked the kinks out of his jaw. "Oh Hay, Stormy. Welcome back. "
"Stormy had some great news... that he simply had to tell me while airborn," Grapes uttered. "I don't think I'll be taking up pegasai-assisted air dancing any time soon."
"Oh. Too bad...."
"...Firestormer."
"You see Stormy here..."
"Firestormer. No."
"Well that just so happens..."
"Stop."
"Stormy's got a masters degree in Aero- Dance," Firestormer finally got out, looking triumphant. Stormy facehoofed.
"Good for him," Grapes said simply. "I'm just terrified of heights. So, obviously I'd make a horrible partner... Last thing a good aero-dancer needs is his partner getting airsick on the audience."
"Well he's really good at tripping the light fantastic. We saw him perform The Goose and the Gander during flight school."
"That's lovely, Firestormer, but you've still got to fly to Horsia's and get dinner," Grapes deadpanned.
"What? But... aw fewmets."
Now it was Stormy's turn to smile. "You guys wagered on me staying or going?"
"Yeah but the odds of you staying the winter..."
"He didn't know about your Mom winning the lottery, obviously," Grapes observed, casually.
"Wait... you mom won the lottery? You mean she's got that cruise around the world?"
"That's right. She's off to exciting new climes and you, I'm guessing, are off to get dinner," Stormy replied with a grin.
"Awwwwwww,” groused Firestormer. "I better get my bit bag... and a map."
"And suddenly I'm feeling a lot less embarrassed," Stormy said.
“And if you do any dancing with me, it’d better be on or near the ground,” Grapes quipped.
He blushed and bowed his head with a smirk. "Deal."
"Okay. I guess you'd better check in with Squall. I'll set the table. Hope everypony's in the mood for Istallion food," The brown unicorn uttered, turning toward the eating area set up outside.
“Ok. And incidentally... thanks for not giggling when he told you about my dance performances."
"What? Why would I laugh? All it did was explain why such a big pegasus is so graceful," Grapes observed, casually.
"Well... Mom made me take lessons because I wasn't exactly graceful as a colt... Kept knocking things over and tripping over my own wings. By the time I was good at it I found out that the idea of me doing such... sensitive classes made fillies giggle and colts laugh,” Stormy sighed.
"Foals can be so cruel at that age," Grapes observed. "But, seriously, I don't judge a pony because they've taken dance lessons. I've got a natural talent for it, myself, but I don't belittle others for needing a little help."
"You dance?"
"Yes. I dance. Everything from Argentine Tango to Vehaynese Waltz. Ask Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. I do a mean Mambo,” Grapes asserted proudly.
"Wow... Good to know if I ever need a Dance partner."
"And it's good to know you won't step on my hooves."
"Or take waltz you among the clouds.... which is a pity because we have a heck of a ballroom in Cloudsdale."
"I'm fine, as long as I don't look down," Grapes explained. "Or think I'm on a relatively solid surface, with no fear of falling."
"Yeah...walking on clouds is a bit of a talent that has to be learned I think," Stormy mused.
"Or have a spell for if you're not born a pegasus," Grapes quipped, as they walked toward the dining area.
"You know, there's probably something like that for visiting dignitaries. What's the point of looking down on the world unless you can bring ponies up and gloat about it to them?" Stormfront uttered cheerily.
"I could ask the magical maven, herself," Grapes mused, thoughtfully. "Anyway, it's portabella marsala, tonight. Firestormer gets to buy, because I think Crescent City cooking is best saved for deep winter."
"Mmm... at least we know it'll be hot and fresh," Stormfront observed with a grin.
"Indeed. I don't know how good it would be if I cooked it. I'm a passable cook, mind, but... That's one I'd never made myself."
“I think we all have something we're good at preparing. Ironically enough Queenie is great with cold meals. Squall has a wide variety of meals he's picked up during his misspent youth, I'm good with comfort food, Sirocco has some interesting ones like this dish she calls hummus. Earshot... well... we have yet to let him make us a meal. Firestormer... he has a taste for spicy dishes. I mean dunk your head in the water trough spicy."
“Why am I not surprised,” Grapes uttered, as she set the table.
----~O~O~O~-----
A few days later, the Bunkhouse was coming along nicely, the final few grapes were being brought in and processed, and the vineyard seemed to be taking care of itself. Sour Grapes decided to take some time off, and finally read the new Daring Doo book that had come out. Despite the air getting cooler, it was still one of those days where if you lay in the sun instead of the shade you felt quite toasty. And there was JUST such a spot over by the gate where two posts had been set for just days. She found the hammock and hitched it to the nice large brass rings on the posts. Satisfied it would hold she set up a small table next to it, put her fresh iced tea on it, then putting her book between her teeth, carefully maneuvered herself into the sling. She wasn't expecting anything more than a simple afternoon of light reading, when... BOOM!
Grapes started, and was sent spinning at high speed in her hammock, then dumped unceremoniously upon the ground. She lay there, dazed, for a few moments, before staggering to her hooves, and looking around, curiously. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, but there was a fading shimmering of color. She had heard Rainbow Dash had finally pulled off the Legendary Sonic rainboom, with credible witnesses no less, but had she done it a third time, this close to home? She then looked up, and there was a rainbow streak. So yes that was her, and she was turning around. Then there was another burst of light, but it seemed more subdued. Her eyes widened as she saw multiple booms happening one after the next, but they were hitting one another, smudging each burst in turn and... nullifying? It was amazing! The sound was like one long rumble of thunder but this... This was astounding. The only thing that could neutralise a sonic rainboom was... ANOTHER one.
"How in the hay is she doing that?" Grapes asked, watching the show in awe.
"Beats the hay outta me, Cuz," said Applejack from the yard across the road. "Sure is pretty though. Maybe she's practicin'. "
“At the rate of speed she’s having to go to perform sequential rainbooms, she’s either going to crash, or rip her wings out of their sockets, THEN crash,” Grapes said, frowning.
"Is that a fact? Well ah'm sure things'll sort themselves out. As for me, ah can't stand around her jawin' all day. Ah got mah final harvest to get movin'."
"You don't sound particularly worried about one of your best friends possibly killing herself," Grapes observed. Applejack began to trot forwards and there was a horrible groaning sound from behind her. Like wood and metal crying out in protest... Then Grapes saw it. Behind Applejack was the BIG cart. The ones the Apples only brought out on special occasions. It was about twice the size of a regular cart but this one was full to the top with apples. The orange pony 'lunged' forwards, dragging the incredibly overloaded cart behind her.
"Ah'm sure she'll tucker herself out before then. If not, Twi will do somethin'. Besides, these apples ain't gonna buck themselves, or find their way to market. See you later Grapes."
"Uh... Applejack? Do you think you're Big Mac or something?" Grapes asked, looking in askance at the huge cart. "Or, maybe, a whole team of Big Mac's? Because, seriously, how are you pulling that cart?"
"Dunno, sugercube, but Ah got all this energy t'burn and ah ain't a gonna waste it. H'YAAAA!" Applejack said and began to gallop, dragging the helpless wagon behind her.
“‘Energy to burn’?” Grapes mused, raising an eyebrow. “Hmmm...” Sour Grapes then turned, and galloped to the one pony she knew that just MIGHT know what’s going on. She ran into town, more than a little disturbed that with such a large load, Applejack was leaving her behind. Still she made good time and headed to the library... And skidded to a stop as a group of male ponies ran past in a panic. "What. The. Hoary. Horseradished. Hay?!"
The small stampede finished passing by and for a moment Grapes thought it was safe to go when a butter-yellow pegasus dropped in front of her. It was Fluttershy but she had a riding crop between her teeth and had a predatory gleam in her eye. "Come BACK! You need to be herded together in one spot and cared for! Come Back! I swear... You... Are going... To LOVE ME!"
"What just happened?" Grapes asked staring stunned at the retreating stampede.
"Hiiiiiiiiiii Grrrrrrrrapes! Was that Fluttershyyyyyyyy?" said Twilight from behind her.
“I’m almost scared to look,” Grapes uttered, before turning around and facing the lavender unicorn.
Twilight looked a little... frazzled, bearing a twitchy, creepy grin. That in itself was unusual but even counting the purple flickering nimbus of magical energy around her body she seemed otherwise fine. "I wonderrrrr why she was chasing all those Stallionsssss?"
"I, honestly, have no idea. And what have you been up to, Twilight? You look a bit... overworked," Grapes said, exercising tact, a rare occurrence for her to be honest. More like overloaded , she thought gazing in trepidation at the mare.
"Oh me? It's amazing! I've been exposed to a whole new way of looking at things. It's like enlightenenenen... en...ment. The magical harmonics of everything around me lies open like an open... thing... that's easily read... like a book or something.... " Twilight was acting stranger than normal, and the fact she was slowly turning a cartwheel in mid-air before Grapes' eyes wasn't helping her opinion that something was wrong. "I can see the Uuuuuuuuuuuniverse."
Oh yeah... handle with care time, Grapes thought, an ear flopping back, as she pondered what to do, now. The smartest pony Grapes knew was... well... incapacitated. Grapes, herself, was unsure of what was occurring, except it involved ponies having an unusual amount of energy. “Okay, little miss ‘I can see the universe’,” Grapes then stated. “Follow me. If you can see the universe, then you can see new and interesting ways to make wine.” This was not, however, an effort to use Twilight Sparkle’s current condition to her own advantage. Sour Grapes had a hastily put-together plan, and she figured that a unicorn as powerful as Twilight Sparkle did not need to... er... float about unsupervised.
"Ooh... new wine methods... I'll have to add that to the ever growing list of things that I can ponder with my new accelerated mystic perceptions... Right after Fluttershy's herding stallions into a paddock in her yard and before why Rarity is coming this way."
"She must be really repressed," Grapes observed wryly. "Wait. Rarity's coming this way?" True enough, Rarity was trotting over to them with a rather pleasant expression on her face and her saddlebags full to bursting on her back.
"Good day Sour Grapes, Twilight. Isn't it a magnificent day?"
"Hiiiiii Rrrrarity!" Twilight said gleefully, her waving tilting her axis to a new angle.
"Depends on your point of view, Rarity," Grapes said casually. "Twilight is seeing the universe, Rainbow Dash has been performing sonic rainbooms for the past... Hmmm... Fifteen minutes, and Fluttershy is herding what few stallions Ponyville has living here together at her house for some hereto unknown purpose."
"Really? Sounds like a fascinating and puzzling set of occurrences. I'm afraid I couldn't help you there, but if you asked for a new outfit, my muse has been working overtime today," Rarity said, then her face lit up and she giggled like a schoolgirl. "OH! Oh, inspiration strikes! Stand back... I'm about to be BRILLIANT!"
Her horn began to glow diamond blue and Grapes heard a wrenching sound from behind her. Looking up she realised the Green and yellow striped awning from the building behind her had been ripped from its moorings and gracefully descended upon her and Twilight while wrapped in that same Diamond Blue light. As if it were a choreographed dance, Rarity's bags shimmered with unicorn magic, and opened as dozens of sewing implements leapt forth. Scissors, cut, chalk drew, tape measures found their way across every inch of her and Twilight's bodies before pins, needles and threads did their work and all at alarming speed. It felt as if she had no choice but to stay stock-still and pray Rarity didn't poke her with something sharp as she was wrapped lovingly in thick fabric. The whirlwind of activity ended and implements flew back into Rarity’s bags and she grinned with contentment. "Oh yes... oh my dear Twilight, oh my dear Sour Grapes... you look magnificent." Grapes dared a peek in the nearby shop window and realised she was now dressed in a fairly sharp-looking dress jacket with a bustle-skirt. Quite business-like and really not that bad. Twilight was in a Nehru Jacket with some manner of slacks. It was strange, but with her floating there it seemed to actually suit her.
“Well,” Grapes observed. “That’s different. I hope that shopkeeper didn’t mind you using their awning for material, though.”
"Oh pish-tush. Genius cannot be constrained by mere legalities," Rarity said with a dismissive motion of her hoof.
"You are so rrrrright Rarrrrrrity."
"Thank you, Twilight. Now I must be off... oh so many ponies to CLOTHE! Oh nakedness everywhere BEGGING for my designs! Ta Ta!"
"She'll get the bill, later," Grapes quipped, casually. "Well, come on. Time and wine wait for nopony." With Rarity off doing what she did best Grapes returned to her attempts to find her cousin. Twilight slowly drifted off in the general direction of Grapevine Hills, tumbling along in mid-air like a bizarre cross between a tumbleweed and novelty-balloon. She did a circle of the town, noticing signs of pony mayhem here and there, ponies in strange 'inspired' clothing, Stallions cowering in hiding places, some stared up at the sky in awe and an enormous pile of apples sat where the Apple Family Stall once stood. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle stood there digging through the pile as a small muffled voice came from within; "Ah think you guys are gettin’ close. Ah can hear ya now."
“Has anypony seen Applejack?” Grapes asked, then looked at the huge pile of apples. “ONE pile of apples. One pile of apples...” she repeated to herself like a mantra, and lifted one pile of apples, carefully setting them aside.
A small pale yellow filly with red hair sat under the stall munching on an apple. Around Applebloom was a small pile of apple cores. She blinked in the sunlight and smiled. "OH! Thanks Auntie Sour Grapes. It was kinda stuffy under there."
"Looks like you got a head start on attempting to eat your way out," Grapes quipped casually. "So what happened?"
"Well Applejack came home from her trip to the doctor's office this mornin’ and started buckin’ up a storm. Ah ain't ever seen her work with this much enthusiasm since the last Applebuckin' season. Y’know, where she nearly bucked herself to the grave? Anyways she set me here to sell a wagonload of apples before she started puttin’ the rest into storage. Guess when she upturned the wagon she forgot there was more apples in the cart than there was stall... or me," Applebloom explained.
"Yeah. Applejack really put the cart before the pony,” Scootaloo giggled. Grapes merely facehoofed.
"So she's back at the farm now, probably got the whole family helpin' her get that last harvest in before things frost over,” Applebloom concluded.
"She could try making ice cider," Grapes muttered. "You guys going to be okay, now?"
"Well, if we can sell all these apples, yeah. Thanks again Auntie Sour Grapes."
"No problem. Good thing the Running of the Leaves was LAST week," Grapes said, trotting off toward Grapevine Hills. First, to make sure Twilight got there safely. Second, to send the Riders to keep Rainbow from becoming a crater.
Sour Grapes galloped at full tilt through Ponyville, determined to get home in a hurry, then something caught her eye. She came to a screeching halt, then slowly walked backwards to take a better look. There, sitting quietly at a small table at the cafe was Pinkie Pie. Her hair was straight as if it had been put on an ironing board and flattened, she was wearing a black turtleneck and beret, a pair of small black sunglasses. She seemed to be absorbed in quiet contemplation, occasionally jotting down a thought on a large notepad... and scarily enough... she was sipping tea. This was new. Grapes trotted over, cautiously, unsure if this was a prank because Pinkie was well-known for them.
“Erm... Hello, Pinkie,” Grapes said uncertainty obvious in her voice. “How are you doing, today?”
"Oh. Hello, Sour Grapes," she said in an almost bored tone. "Bordering between existential ennui and pleasant jubilation. Ever since I was at the Doctor's offices I've just felt like sitting down and watching the world pass by, observing the events as they transpire and transcribing my observations as they come."
“Interesting,” Grapes observed. “The doctor’s office, hm? Were all six of you there, then? And did anything peculiar happen, while you were there?”
"If by all six, you mean Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and myself... yes. Yes we were. I don't remember anything out of the ordinary. We were there because Twilight wanted to get her flu shot for the winter, and we decided to show solidarity by getting ours at the same time. We got our shots, helped ourselves to the complementary tea and went our separate ways," Pinkie replied.
"Complimentary tea... It wouldn't have happened to taste like a blend of Assam Darjeeling, Golden Steed Eyebrow, Bailin Gongfu, and Pu'erh teas by any chance?" Grapes asked, a sick look coming over her face.
"Why... yes. I do remember those flavors. A rather bracing blend. Like diving into an icy pond," Pinkie said, and Grapes remembered the exact same description being used by a different pony not too long ago.
"That. Explains. Every. Bucking. Thing. I am going to seriously maim Redline," Grapes uttered, before turning to continue her journey to Grapevine Hills. "I can't kill the bucking idiot, because the last thing I need is to put that cute little filly back into foster care. And I can't take her in. Though the Riders would absolutely love her..."
Grapes arrived at home in record time. Giving a sidelong glance at the manic activity in Sweet Apple Acres she focused on the task at hoof... having words with Redline. She took a detour around the house to get to the north field and found Moondust sitting by some of the frames with Twilight... actually she was sitting there and holding the end of a bright red length of yarn that was tied around Twilight's waist as she floated there. It was seeing her with the strangest novelty balloon in Equestria.
"Hi, Miss Grapes!"
"Hi, Moondust. Keeping the incredible Miss Sparkle out of trouble?"
"Yep. She's just looking at your plants. It's kinda neat. I've never seen a pony just float like this before. Big brother is getting some water from the pump for her," the pegasus filly replied.
"Good to know," Grapes uttered, looking around for the eccentric inventor. "I need to have a little chat with him."
"Chat about what?" asked Redline as he trotted towards her, Full water bucket sloshing as he approached. "I hope it's not gonna take long... I think Twilight Sparkle isn't herself today."
"Nor is Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity," Grapes said. "And somehow, they all got some of YOUR tea at the Doctor's office."
He stopped in mid-step, and the bucket fell to the ground, spilling its contents. "Wait... Hold on... Please back up a few paces. They did what?"
"Somehow, they ingested some of your tea blend, at the doctor's office," Grapes repeated, a bit slower this time.
"Okay that's starting to explain a lot... I mean I never thought that my tea would do anything to another pony like THIS but then again the doctor said I had built up a tolerance to caffeine. But why is he handing it out to his other patients?"
"Why did the doctor have your tea in the first place?" Grapes asked.
"Oh that. Yeah he wanted a sample for testing so he could start me on a program where we dial back how much caffeine I'm ingesting. Apparently you can get withdrawal from going cold turkey with caffeine. Go figure," Redline replied with a shrug.
"So why was your tea blend, which obviously is a blend of highly caffeinated teas, which would naturally have a dangerously high level of caffeine in the complimentary tea pot?" Grapes asked then looked fearful. "And... Oh... darn... STORMY!"
"Stormy?" Redline asked, confused.
A gray-white head popped up from amid the rows and looked around in a startled manner. "What? What? Grapes? What's wrong?"
"Rainbow Dash has been up in the sky making sonic rainbooms for... I don't know how long. She's been over-caffeinated, and will probably be coming down from the caffeine high, soon, and will NOT be in any shape to land, properly," Grapes explained.
"Oh... oh wow. That's not good."
"Ya think?" Grapes observed, sounding just a tad sarcastic. "Need you, and... Firestormer to go and catch her."
"Right... You want me to have someone get a doctor?"
"Yes. Get Crabapple. I trust him more than that quack at the Clinic," Grapes replied. "Oh, and see if you can get Queenie to go and round up Rarity. She's been on a fashion crusade, obviously, and I think Queenie may be the only one who can talk her down."
Stormfront gave a smart salute and took wing, flapping up into the air. "You can count on me boss."
"Applejack should be collapsing from exhaustion, soon, so when Crabby's finished with little miss mystical prodigy, here, he can go and tend to A. J.," Grapes mused.
Redline glanced over at Moondust who was gently tugging the yarn, this way and that, making Twilight bob about in funny ways. "Yeah... maybe this is a sign that I'm not doing myself any favors drinking such strong teas. Moondust, please don't play with Twilight like that."
"But look... she's like a balloon."
"Yes, but she's still a mare, with amazing cosmic powers... And probably a bad case of magical exhaustion coming on," Grapes observed. "I'm glad you're keeping her from floating off, and getting into mischief, but you have to take the responsibility seriously."
"Okay," she said bowing her head in disappointment before Redline hugged her.
"If you're good I'll make you a Twilight-shaped balloon later. Does that sound nice?"
"YAY!" Moondust enthused cheerfully, as Grapes sighed, rolling her eyes, and smirking a bit. She watched as the pegasai flew off to take care of their assignments. Then she saw Fluttershy flying toward Sweet Apple Acres, and the vineyard. Grapes casually trotted over to the road, and caught the errant butter-yellow pegasus, and held her in her golden levitation field.
“What, may I ask, do you call yourself doing?” the chocolate brown unicorn asked in her best disapproving schoolmarm voice.
"Let me go! I've got to get Big Macintosh! He needs to be cared for! I'll put him with the others, he'll be fed, and watered, and loved..."
"He's needed at the farm, and you know it," Grapes said sternly. "And why, pray tell, have you been herding up stallions, anyway, Fluttershy?"
"I... I don't KNOW! I want them all together in one place! I want to just have them... I... I'm... I'm being silly... aren't I?" Fluttershy uttered as she began to cease struggling, and calm down. the maniacal gleam in her eye fading.
"Just a bit, yes," Grapes said with a nod. "I think the tea you had at the doctor's office was not meant for general consumption. Not sure why that idiot had it out where you and your friends could get to it, but you're on a bit of a caffeine high, right now."
"So that's why I'm feeling... urpy?" Fluttershy asked.
"'Urpy'?" Grapes asked.
"Yes..." she said looking a little unsteady on her hooves. "My stomach isn't feeling very..." her face went green and she rushed for the outhouse... but only made it as far as Grapes' flower garden.
“Wow, the flowers in that bed are going to be extra fertilized," Grapes deadpanned. “I barfed in there, earlier this week.”
"Ew," the little filly uttered, making a face.
"Yes, Moondust. Ew," agreed Redline.
"Wasn't my fault. Stormy decided to celebrate some good news by taking me air-dancing... Just one problem. I'm afraid of heights," Grapes explained. "Why don't you hang out here, Fluttershy, and help Moondust keep Twilight from floating off?"
"O... ok... If that's alright with you," she murmured walking over and accepting Redline's offer of the remaining water in the bucket.
"It's fine, Fluttershy. My cousin, the doctor, will be by, and give you a check-up to make sure your run-in with overcaffeinated tea hasn't done any permanent harm to you," Grapes said soothingly. "And we're going to make sure Rainbow Dash, and Rarity are all right. I'll go and see if I can get Pinkie to come here, too, just to have most of you all in one place."
"Ok... That sounds... nice..."
"I'm sorry my tea did all of this Grapes. You really did have a good point," Redline said sadly.
"At least you'll be around for your little sister," Grapes said with a nod. "Didn't know how close you were to causing your heart to just... give out, did you?"
"I'm just glad we figured it out before I added another variety of tea to my blend..."
"Let me guess... You started out with one, then when the first one got to the point where it wouldn't give you the energy you needed, you added another variety known for its caffeine level, then another, and another. Am I correct?"
"Well caffeine level and flavor... I wasn't about to just drink mud. Although Moondust never could stand the taste of tea. she likes the smell, but that's about it."
"Right. Well I'd better get Pinkie," Grapes said, heading back to town, hoping that she hasn't moved from that cafe. It took about two hours to wrangle the ponies all into one spot. They were sore, exhausted, sick and confused but at least they were safe.
Doc Crabapple just finished checking them out and sighed. "And all this started because each had ONE cup of tea... Just lovely."
"No this all started, because that idiot at the Clinic left a specimen out where these six could get their hooves on it," Grapes quipped. "Yes, it was tea, but it was a special blend that THAT mad inventor, well, invented to give himself energy."
"Stallions Alive! You mean some stallion drinks that tea on a regular basis and is ALIVE?" Crabapple exclaimed disbelievingly. Grapes casually pointed at Redline. The earth-pony doctor galloped over to Redline and started examining him.
"Hey... what gives?" Redline yelped.
"Hold still, son, let me get a look at you," the crab apple green pony grumped as he continued the examination.
"The patients are over there, I'm fine," the red-maned unicorn protested
"I'm amazed," uttered Crabapple, undeterred. Grapes sat there, smirking at the hapless inventor. Revenge was sweet.
"Aw come on... focus on the sick, Doc. You can poke and prod later," Redline protested.
"Fine, fine... But I want you in my office for a full physical later today. *Ahem* Ok... our caffeinated stallion aside they'll all be fine. Just a lot of muscle strain, their systems are overtaxed and the caffeine plus the exertion has left them dehydrated. So, I'm prescribing lots of fluids and bed rest for the lot of them... well except for the librarian," Crabapple observed in his usual gruff manner.
“Extreme magical exhaustion, correct?” Grapes asked. “I’ll put her up, here, and make sure there’s somepony around to help her with the menial tasks. Until I get her dragon here.”
"Yeah. You know the drill. Fluids, bedrest, no excitement, no solids, no magic for no less than four days. I can write out a prescription for the right herbs to take some of the sting out of it but Magical exhaustion is best treated with rest," Crabapple replied.
"Aye aye, Doc. You heard the stallion, Twilight," Grapes said sternly. "And the rest of you need to get home, and rest. I don't have room to, well, room you all." There was a chorus of groans from the other five when a hay wagon was pulled over to them by Stormfront.
"Relax ladies. I got this one. Free rides for all tea-timers," he said with a cheerful smile. It took a little effort to help them all into the cart but they seemed grateful that getting back to their own homes was taken care of.
“Come on, oh mystical prodigy and seer of the universe, let’s get you to bed,” Grapes quipped, helping Twilight up to her hooves.
"Nuuuuuuuuuuu," Twilight murmured, still very much out of it, the occasional flicker trying to be mustered from her horn... and fizzling. "Wanna stay up... the munsters will get me without my book fort."
"I'm going to tuck you in, and you'll be all warm and cosy, and safe from all monsters," Grapes said soothingly. "Monsters don't like me. They're afraid I'll put them to work harvesting grapes."
"She means it too," came Earshot's voice from behind her. "Look at me. According to the stories I should be sucking blood... and terrorising the night... not scaring little bunnies. Need any help, Miss Grapes?"
"I've got it, Earshot. Thanks. Though you can tag along in case I do need help. And it's not your fault that some idiot author decided that Night Ponies would be perfect vampires," Grapes said, as she helped the somnolent purple unicorn to her old room.
"I can do that for you... How much magic was she doing? She smells like Ozone," Earshot observed.
"She overdosed on caffeine, and was floating around like a balloon," Grapes said. "Not a CLUE of what ELSE she's been up to, today."
"Wow... I must be drinking the wrong kind of tea then."
"It was Redline's tea blend, and all she had was one single cup," Grapes uttered.
"Oh yeah. I heard you say something like that."
"Let's just say you won't be getting that tea any time soon," Grapes said calmly. "No clue how you'll react, for one thing."
"Ok. Boy it's been a crazy day though... I could swear I HEARD Miss Fluttershy yelling," Earshot uttered, shaking his head in amazement.
"You did."
"So what does 'Loving the stuffing out of you' mean?" Earshot asked.
"I'll explain when you're older."
"You'd be surprised how often I hear that."
"It's because you're nocturnal creature in an area inhabited by diurnal creatures," Grapes observed. "And you have incredibly good hearing."
"What would that have to do with people always telling me that ‘I'll explain when you're older’? " Earshot asked. Grapes blinked, realizing that she had made a mistake about just which phrase Earshot heard a lot.
"How old are you, Earshot?"
"About ten... give or take,” he replied.
"And have you had the 'where little ponies come from' talk?"
"Not yet. That's one of those ‘When you're older’ details,” the night pony answered with a sigh.
"About thirteen or so. Trust me, you'll know when it's time," Grapes said sagely. "And ten? Really? You act so much older... You getting enough schooling? You could join the classes at the town's school, if you liked."
"That would be kinda neat. I often listen in, and the other Storm-Riders have been teaching me stuff. Sirocco calls it Home-Cruelty, but I think she means Home-Schooling."
“Probably so. That or it’s a word from her country,” Grapes observed. “All right. I’ll take you to meet Miss Cheerilee tomorrow, and see about getting you enrolled.”
"Okie dokie lokie!" Earshot chirped. Grapes chuckled, then looked over at the sleeping Twilight.
That could have been me, had things been different, Grapes thought. But I’m glad things worked out this way.
View Online
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Princess' Pet Proposes Party Planning Preperations
Grapes lay in pleasant slumber when a light fluttering occurred near her. Her internal clock was trying to tell her it was nearly time to wake up anyways and the sound was a good a reason to do so. She pried her eyes open and looked up at Twilight Sparkle's owl, perched on her bedpost and looking at her expectantly. Grapes yawned, and levitated her glasses over to make sure it's the owl, and not something less savory.
"Morning. What can I do you for, Owlawishes?" she asked looking at the avian calmly.
"Hoo," he said, in a matter-of-fact tone, before turning to look out the window at the sun, freshly past the horizon. His shift of watching over Twilight had just ended and it was time for his own sleep-cycle to begin.
"Thanks for the warning," Grapes said yawning, and pulling herself out of bed, and doing a series of very limber stretches. "I'll check on our universal oracle, and see how she's doing."
"Hoo!" he agreed before fluttering off to the area she had set aside for his improvised perch. If he took issue with using a coat rack with newspapers below it as a perch he didn't bring it up. When all was said and done he accepted his accommodations with the same stoicism Spike did. Spike had set his little box just in front of her hearth the night before and seemed content being that far away from Twilight. She yawned, stretched, scratched herself then got out of bed and did a quick hygiene regimen before checking on her primary guest. She nosed open the door, and looked into the guest room, checking to see if Twilight was up, already. The purple pony lay there in bed, looking rather disheveled. Her flu quilt had wrapped around her like a multicolored cocoon from all of the tossing and turning of a fitful sleep. She must have been wrestling alligators in her nightmares to look like that. Grapes carefully unwound her guest from being cocooned in the quilt, spreading it back out to cover the bed.
"Hmm... Maybe an oatmeal smoothie for brekkers," Grapes mused in undertone, as she looked over the lavender unicorn. Once you got past the matted hair, the sweat-stained nightshirt and tangled mane... not to mention her fairly academic personality, Twilight was a fairly attractive mare. Grapes dabbed her brow with a damp cloth, the feeling causing her to murmur in her sleep. Grapes chuckled a bit, then went downstairs to whip up an oatmeal smoothie with banana. Halfway down she was greeted by the smell of fresh-brewing coffee and what she was sure were pancakes. Entering the kitchen she saw Spike, in an apron, standing on a chair at the stove with every burner doing something. He glanced over and smiled.
"Oh, good morning Miss Grapes! How's Twilight doing?” the young dragon asked.
Grapes blinked, looking at the spread in shock. "She had a rough night, it looked like. But then, magical exhaustion does come with nightmares."
"I hope you don't mind but it looked like your farmhooves were up early so I started making breakfast for us all. They've already started," Spike said with a grin, as he put the finishing touches on Grapes’ breakfast.
"Works for me. I was going to make Twilight an oatmeal smoothie... I, honestly, wasn't expecting this," Grapes said as she made her way into the kitchen, proper.
"Oh you can still do that." he said grabbing the boiling coffee pot in both hands and hopping down off the chair to set it on top of a pot holder on her table. Instinctively she wanted to pick him up and put his hands in the icebox before he started screaming from burns... then she remembered he may be a baby dragon, but he was still a dragon and no-doubt fairly fireproof. "I mean that sounds pretty good, actually. Twilight might like one."
"Well as far as I know, she's still on ‘no solids’. But a thick liquid would be good for her, and fill her up," Grapes explained, as she got out the ingredients.
"If you'd like to make an extra one... and if your grinder can take it I got some rubies that would probably be nice ground up and mixed into one."
"Ah.... I'm not exactly set up to take care of grinding gemstones,” Grapes said grinning sheepishly at Spike. “I don’t have dragons as house guests often.”
"Oh... well... The smoothie sounds good anyways."
"Sorry, Spike," Grapes said as she set about making the smoothie, a double batch so Spike could have one, as well.
"If you want I know this great little shop in town that has great cooking items that I got my kitchen grinder from. It's called Hard Hat's Industrial Supply," Spike suggested.
"Hoof one here, and let me try something..." Grapes said, deciding to make an attempt. He pulled one glittering red gem from a small bag he had on the counter and handed it to her. Grapes took it in her golden levitation field, and looked at it. She braced herself against the floor, then brought all her magical strength to bear upon the gem, obviously trying to crush it. The gem crumbled easier under her attention than she thought. Although hardly soil she let her earthsense seep into the crystalline structure feeling out for an explanation... and found one. The Ruby was deeply flawed. Every facet was riddled with flaws... which would explain it's weakness and perhaps how Spike got ahold of it instead of Rarity. She ground the crumbling pieces against one another, encouraging it to turn into the smallest pieces she could before setting the sand-like particles into a bowl.
"Whoa... that was neat. How did you do that?" Spike asked as he watched in fascination.
"I'm half earth-pony," Grapes said, taking up another ruby. "I have earthsense, along with unicorn magic, though neither are as strong as they would be if I went one way or the other, fully." Again she felt it out and found it was equally as flawed as the first. She tilted it to another angle for more efficient use of pressure and repeated her actions from before. The glittering red sand that filled the bowl was gorgeous, like a million tiny red stars twinkling on her countertop. She repeated the process until she had a good amount to mix into Spike's smoothie. Once the oatmeal and banana was liquified enough to suit the stipulation of "no solids", the chocolate brown mare poured it into two glasses. The second one she added the ruby dust to, and stirred vigorously, then handed to Spike. "There you go. One oatmeal-banana-ruby smoothie."
"Gee. Thanks Miss Grapes." he said before sipping at it. Grapes couldn't help but feel jealous at Spike's drink. The way it sparkled in his glass made her actually wish she could risk a taste.
"No problem. Enjoy, Spike," Grapes said, as she put a straw into Twilight's smoothie, and took it upstairs.
Twilight was awake when she came up, rubbing her head and squinting at her bookshelf with pained expression. "Oh yeah... magic strain... ow."
"Need a book, Little Miss I Can See the Universe?" Grapes asked with a smirk.
"I'm not gonna live that down am I?" Twilight asked looking a bit sour.
"Probably not," Grapes said with a smirk, as she set the smoothie down on the nightstand. "But it does seem like the perfect thing to say when you're having a small bout of hubris."
"Yeah. I woke up in a strange bed, saw books I hadn't seen before and then I saw Ironflank's guide to home medicine and ironically tried to... 'reach' for it with my horn... and regretted it," the purple unicorn said with a small groan, as she flopped into the pillow.
Grapes looked at the bookshelf in what was her old room, and pulled out the book with her levitation. "Not a bad read. Not as thorough as Super Naturals, but it's a nice compendium of remedies that can be concocted from household foodstuffs."
"Show-off," Twilight grumbled before looking over at the glass. "So what do we got here?"
"An oatmeal and banana smoothie. Spike's having one with powdered ruby."
"Oh that was nice of you. Do I get one?"
Grapes simply pointed at the smoothie on the nightstand. "That one is for you. Sans ruby, of course, considering the havoc it'd play with a pony's digestive system."
Twilight stared at it a moment and then shuddered "Like swallowing broken glass... yeah. I'll leave that for Spike's indestructible digestive system, thank you. You're sure this is the right one?"
Grapes simply held it up to the light, to display a lack of red sparklies. "I'd say so yes. It if were Spike's, we'd see red glittery bits."
"Then, yes please and thank you."
Grapes gave the glass to Twilight, and set the book on the nightstand. "There you go. Reading material, and breakfast."
"Mmmm... Paradise... if paradise included the feeling that your own horn was being reverse-screwed into your brain. What was I THINKING?" Twilight uttered with an exasperated gesture.
"You weren't," Grapes said simply.
"And who even DRINKS tea that caffeinated? On a regular basis no less?"
"Redline," Grapes said simply. "He's being weaned off of it, though."
"You want to know what the worst part is?" Twilight asked looking up at Grapes with this annoyed look on her face.
"Oh DO tell."
"It was the best tea I ever tasted."
"Redline did say he chose for flavor as well as caffeine content. Maybe the blend can be duplicated with less caffeinated varieties," Grapes suggested with a shrug.
"I hope so," Twilight sighed before sipping her smoothie and blinking. "Although this is a close second for flavor."
"I do try," Grapes said with a bow.
"Um... thank you for all of this. You really didn't have to take care of me and everything."
"You're my friend, Twilight. The second one I've ever had. SO... yeah, I did have to take care of you."
"Thanks... um.. so... What's Spike doing?"
"He was cooking breakfast for the farmhooves," Grapes said, looking out the window at their picnic area."
She looked out the bedroom window down at the picnic table where the farmhooves usually ate and as usual marveled at how close the group was. Discussing a wide range of topics, teasing, joking, laughing as only a family could. Then it happened. A swirling burst of Gray smoke and Red flame appear before each one and down drops a scroll in front of each of the Riders. The mood instantly changes. In that moment all the joking is gone and their faces suddenly serious as each unrolled their scroll and read it. Eyes meet and silent nods are exchanged. The group stood and almost as one head to the Bunkhouse leaving Thistledown at his seat, watching.
"That's new," Grapes said. "I've never seen them get dragon mail before."
"Dragon mail?"
"Like you get from the Princess via Spike," explained Grapes.
"That is strange... I didn't know anypony else had access to a dragon."
"Lady Weathervane, the head of the Emergency Rogue Storm Response Team, has one, if I remember correctly," Grapes explained. "Stormy told me about her."
"I... I remember meeting a Lady Weathervane once,” Twilight observed thoughtfully. “She helped me greatly during a project around the principles of weather generation. I remember being a pretty and very proud mare."
"From the stories told to me," Grapes said, as she watched them all stand, and move as a unit into the bunkhouse. "She's a quite the character... And they just got a weather emergency."
"Wow... You know I DO remember her telling me about the theories about Rogue weather formation. We were on a break and she was trying to explain to me what she did for a living. Being as young as I was I couldn't help but imagine clouds wearing masks," Twilight remarked with an eye-roll at her childish notions.
"But now you know it's all about weather that gets beyond the control of the usual weather teams. Like storms from the Everfree, or hurricanes from the oceans."
"Yeah... Although I wondered how they do it. I mean... it's dangerous work getting right up a storm's nose like that... so to speak," Twilight mused, looking a bit worried.
"It is," Grapes said simply. "Stormfront got seriously injured trying to save Earshot from being sucked into a tornado. That's how he ended up here."
"He... Yeah I could see him working with tornadoes with wings like that. He must be a monstrously strong flier. What about the others?"
"They all have their specialties. Earshot's is sonar, for low visibility situations. Squall's is seaborne storms. Queenie specializes in ice and snow storms. Firestormer deals with unusual weather patterns created by forest fires and other heat events. Stormfront's is thunderstorms, and tornadoes," Grapes explained. "Sirocco's specialty is high winds, and sandstorms."
"Wow... So who leads?" Twilight asked, sounding fascinated.
"It depends on the storm they're going to tackle," Grapes said. "They switch, and follow the lead of the specialist for that particular storm."
"Wow again. The amount of trust they must have for one another must be... amazing."
"It is. They are very close-knit. But it does make sense to have the specialist taking the lead for each type. This way the one with the most knowledge and experience is giving the orders," Grapes explained. "On the vineyard, I'm the specialist, so naturally I'm the one in charge."
Twilight sipped her drink and thought about it. "That's incredibly convenient. They default to the most learned pony in a given situation. Now if only all of Equestria could be so wise."
"That would be difficult. All of Equestria tends to have this slight difficulty with its ego," quipped Grapes with a knowing smirk.
"Tell me about it... Although I have to admit even I'm not immune. I probably know more about anything than most ponies I meet... but all of it from books. No real-world experience. So I almost always want to take charge of a situation."
Grapes chuckled. "Not surprising. But not everything can be learned from books."
"Yes. Although a lot of that book-learning is best from a book instead of experience. Learning from others' mistakes and all that."
"True. Especially if the author wasn't shy about admitting their mistakes," Grapes observed.
"It certainly helps... makes you feel less... small when you screw up. I was scared my friends might think I was a big magic show-off when that one pony came to town. You know.. the one that inspired two foals to lure an Ursa Minor into Ponyville just so she could defeat it?"
"Oh yes,” Grapes uttered with obvious distaste. “That one."
"Yes. I realized I didn't give my friends enough credit. That they wouldn't think less of me for such a display of magic. But they reminded me that they were, above all else, my friends."
"And it would have prevented a lot of later problems. Though, it is said that hindsight is twenty-twenty," Grapes observed.
The Storm Riders strode out of the bunkhouse wearing their signature cream-colored scarf with the Storm Rider logo upon it in a deep brown. Each had streamlined saddlebags also bearing the logo, they also wore goggles and, strangely enough, the filter-masks similar to the one she remembered from Firestormer's room. Walking in single file with Firestormer in the lead, they pause momentarily at the breakfast table to pour coffee into thermoses and sandwich what they can between slices of bread and stuff them into their bags. They stride with purpose, perhaps not synchronized but they seem to know what to do and where to be. Their pace quickens as they now run down the front road, wings extending as one by one they take to the skies.
"Wow." Twilight said staring through the glass, able to see them slowly vanishing into the blue from her place in bed. "They look... heroic."
"Equestria's second group of under-sung heroes," Grapes observed, releasing the curtain.
"I wonder where they're going?" Twilight asked.
"There is a way to find out," Grapes said. "I'll be back. I probably should help clean things up, anyway." Grapes excused herself from Twilight's bedside and headed down to the table where Thistledown was still seated. By the time she got there he was reading one of the scrolls, frowning. She momentarily wondered if she should tell Thistledown he was being rude, but then again she was dying of curiosity herself.
"Hi Sour Grapes." Thistledown said quietly, motioning to the letter before him. "I... don't think the others will be helping out today. Can't say I blame them. This is heavy stuff."
"What do you mean, Thistle?"
"Well... they work for you. I think they left the letters here so you would know why they had to fly so fast. At least they were smart enough to pack a lunch. You won't believe what they're up to."
"I would presume it's a weather emergency," Grapes observed casually as she picked up what was probably Queenie's scroll with her magic and began to read. It was actually pretty good paper. Not exactly Vellum grade but you could tell from the feel this was a very high grade of paper. Perhaps a standard for all government offices under the 'Royal' title. She scanned the writing over. Rich, flourishing lines with well-practiced loops and swirls that indicated a practiced writer who prided themselves upon their calligraphy.
"My good Storm-Riders" it began. An interesting beginning. the word "My" indicated a certain pride or possessiveness towards the pegasai. She continued down the paper. "I have received news from three of the foremost Earth-Pony seismologists and geologists that the normally quiet Mount Ashbringer is awakening from dormancy and is due to erupt soon. Several Unicorn sorcerers in conjunction with the vulcanologist Dr. Pumice have been working to weaken the lee side of Mt. Ashbringer to cause it to erupt away from the local populace who are currently rushing to evacuate, but I fear the worst. Please have Firestormer mobilize the team immediately as the last time this volcano erupted, the weather disruptions, according to historians, were felt far across all of Equestria. Fly fast and fly Safe my Storm-Riders."
"For some reason I'm reading this in Princess Celestia's voice."
"It does kinda have that sort of tone to it doesn't it?" Thistledown smirked over his coffee mug at her. "I knew what they did for a... well sorry to say it this way but for a REAL living, but this... A whole volcano. This is beyond just my mental imagery of bucking blizzards and fighting flash-floods."
"I hear you. But conflagration weather patterns are Firestormer's specialty."
"Yeah. The team is more than happy to talk about their specialties if you're willing to ask. They got a lot covered if you ask me... and to be honest I don't think I could do their job for any amount of bits. I think there's only a very few special ponies who would risk their lives for the safety of others like that."
Grapes shrugged. "There are probably more positions in the Storm Riders than weather bucker," Grapes observed, indicating the note. "After all, somepony's got to coordinate the effort. Well we'd better get this cleaned up. I'll let our house-guest know what's going on."
"Right. I'll start by finishing the Jumble-berry muffins. Yum."
"My oatmeal and banana smoothie went over very well with Twilight," Grapes observed, as she gathered the plates, carefully making piles.
"Is that what it was? I saw that dragon boy with one... what's his name? Spike? Yeah. His looked a little sparkly for my appetite. "
"That's because it had crushed rubies in it, Thistle," Grapes explained, taking the piles into the kitchen to be washed. "He's a dragon, and dragons, apparently, need the minerals present in gemstones to grow properly."
"Good to know, even if it looks a little tacky for my tastes... pun unintended. "
"Heh. You can only wear so much, eh, Thistle?"
"Exactly. I must admit though, Spike certainly has a way around the kitchen. You think when he hits full size he might become a kind of gargantuan gourmet, building a temple-like kitchen in a cave somewhere?"
Grapes chuckled, as they went into the kitchen. "What d'ya think, Spike? You going to be a giant gourmet?"
"Me? You think I could? I mean... I sorta always imagined myself with a big horde like most adult dragons do but... wow. That could be a pretty cool hobby to have," Spike said smiling at the thought of being a draconic gourmet.
"We may have started something." Thistledown said popping a muffin into his mouth
"And even before you reach your full size, you could probably be a fantastic chef," Grapes observed, as she started to wash the dishes. "It's something to shoot for, that's for certain, Spike. You got hundreds of years stretched out in front of you. You might not get a cutie mark to tell you what to do like ponies, but that means you can be good at whatever you want to put the effort into."
"I like that. And like you said I'm in no big rush... I got ages ahead of me."
"Keep reaching for that rainbow, little guy," Thistle said encouragingly, as he and Grapes continued to help in the kitchen.
Grapes hummed cheerfully, glad for the brief distraction, but was quickly brought up short by the memory of her first heart-to-heart with Stormy after she discovered his wings. How he said a 'big piece of scenery' knocked him out of the sky during a tornado. As strong and powerful as he seemed in flight she felt her gut drop like a rock at the thought of a fiery glob of melted stone dashing him from the sky. She sighed, having to stop for a bit.
It was a curse of being so well-read. She knew that the world had no guarantees. No Absolutes. That any time Stormfront... or... the rest of the Storm-Riders went out, there was a very real possibility that they might not come back. But then again... she forced into her head... there was no guarantee that they WOULDN'T come back either. It was a comforting thought.
She wondered, though, why she was so concerned about Stormfront. He had come into her life, and now that he was in it, she had a hard time imagining life withOUT the big gray lug... And life before, seemed dull.
She wasn't really the praying sort... Even she realized that prayer should not be done with snark and so she kept out of that sort of thing. But she looked out the window a moment in the direction of where Mount Ashbringer lay and found herself remembering that final line from the letter.
"Fly Fast, Fly safe... my Storm-Riders."
================================
After the kitchen was cleaned up, Grapes and Spike went back up to check up on Twilight. Thistledown had gone out to the rows, to do what he could on winterizing the roots of the precious vines. Grapes, herself, was not sure what she was going to do, just yet, but she was pretty sure that it would involve her getting away from Grapevine Hills. If she stayed here, she’d fret herself into a lather worrying about Stormfront and the others.
“Ugh,” Twilight uttered, as she huddled beneath her flu quilt. “I just realized I’m probably going to be in no condition to even THINK of attending my first Ponyville Nightmare Night.”
“If its any consolation, neither are your friends,” Grapes observed, casually.
“Yeah... oh crud. I just realized I’ve been so deep in my own misery that I completely forgot that they’re all suffering too. Oh poor Rarity is probably as burnt out as me... OK maybe not QUITE as burnt out but she’s probably really strained her magical limits.”
“Well considering that Rarity was going around dressing ponies in fashions created with awnings... I’d say a close second, given her power level,” Grapes observed thoughtfully. “What she lacks in sheer power, she makes up for in pure finesse.”
“They’re ALL probably going to have to sit out Nightmare Night this year too... great. Not only do I get to miss the festivities, I can’t even surprise my friends with my great costume concept.” She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial tone. “It’s a recreation of Long Horn the Pointy, straight from the Obscure Unicorn History book I’m going to give Spike on his next birthday.”
“Long Horn the Pointy... He’s the one who looks like he’d gotten his horn caught in a pencil sharpener... Invented something to do with horn-care, right?” Grapes asked.
“That’s right. he invented the modern horn-brush. Before that clever stallion’s innovation it wasn’t unusual for horns to be yellowing or suffer from waxy build-up or even ugh... Horn-Rot. Not many unicorns realize they have him to thank for modern horn hygiene.”
“So you and your friends would have to sit out Nightmare Night in the Square... Hm... I think I have an idea,” Grapes observed. “The Storm Riders may want to head to town, but I could always hold a sedate little party, here.”
“That... “ Twilight said, struggling to sit up. “That could actually work... ooh... sat up too fast... world is wobbly.” Grapes chuckled, and waited for Twilight’s dizziness to pass.
“Well it’s a great way for you to still have a Nightmare Night celebration, even if you can’t get to the shindig in town. It won’t be crowded, and you don’t have to worry about your costume, and you can just enjoy some snacks, and scary stories,” Grapes mused, thoughtfully. “I’ll go and invite the others, then we’ll see about setting things up.”
“You’d do that, Sour Grapes?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Grapes asked with a shrug.
“Because... uh... okay I got nothin’. But thank you for doing this.“
“We’re friends, Twilight. And just because you got all floaty and weird doesn’t mean I wouldn’t help you out. I’m letting you stay in my house, after all,” Grapes observed.
“All right... my hoofwriting is a little out of practice but I think I can make a list of things we might need for a decent Nightmare Night... provided I’m provided a pencil and paper or parchment to pen my pensives on pony party preparations.”
Grapes blinked and chuckled. “Threading thoughts on thoroughly thrilling those that will be there to take in the tantalizing treats?”
“Was I just... being alliterative? I haven’t done that since I was a foal.... It was sort of a phase I went through and my big brother Shining Armor teased me about it a lot.“
“Well yes, you were, but I love to alliterate. It’s fun, and you get to exercise your vocabulary. Okay. Pen and parchment for party pensive perusal,” Grapes said, fetching said items, and making sure to include the portable desk that she had as a foal. “Here you go. Said supplies, sans situational silliness, but with a savvy surface for scrawling.”
Twilight lay the portable desk and paper on her lap and took the pencil between her hooves and paused a moment, the tip hovering over the blank sheets. “Boy, it HAS been a while... You never really appreciate your horn until you’re in a situation where you can’t use it.“
“I’ve never had that problem,” Grapes observed. “I’ve had to hoofwrite, hornwrite and lipwrite whenever the situation called for it.”
“Really? But your ponykinesis is so STRONG. I’ve seen you juggle casks and... “
“No, dear, you’ve only seen me lift casks. I can only lift things one-at-the-time, because my ponykinesis is limited. I can lift piles of casks, because a pile counts as one thing, as long as I’m thinking of the pile, not the cask,” Grapes explained. “The strength is a bleedover from my earthsense. I have some of the Earth Pony stamina and strength, just like I have some of the unicorn ponykinesis.”
“So the strength of your ‘lift’ is a little too raw for a pen, huh?”
“Oh no. Actually hornwriting is the only fine-tune thing I can do with my ponykinesis. It’s just because I’m at half power, I can’t do it for very long,” Grapes explained patiently with an air of having had to explain this before. “Half power means half the magic pool, so... half the writing time.”
Twilight paused a moment before scrawling on her page and speaking out loud with each word. “Note to... self. Find time to... put... no, ASK Sour Grapes if she would... please sit in brain-scan machine left over from Pinkie Pie research.”
“Why?” Grapes asked. “Haven’t you read On the Confluence of Magics by Starswirl the Bearded? Oh wait... Yeah you said chapter six was hard for you to get past the introduction.”
“It got so... sordid-sounding.” she said with a blush. “But there’s just some things that are best discovered through good old-fashioned research... accompanied by state-of-the-art equipment. I’m surprised that Redline was able to create what I needed so readily.”
“Okay... I am not coming within ten feet of that equipment, then,” Grapes observed. “No way in Equestria.”
“But it’s perfectly safe. I put Pinkie in it and nothing bad happened... granted her ‘Pinkie Sense’ is still a mystery but still... no adverse effects.”
“Yes, but the contraption was constructed by a caffeinated colt,” Grapes uttered.
“Wait... you mean he’s THAT Redline? I never made the connection... he seemed so... stable.”
“How many stallions named ‘Redline’ do you know?” Grapes asked. “And you’ve got to remember, he’s built up a tolerance to that high level of caffeine. True he said that drinking it was like jumping into an icy pond, and it gave his heart a jolt, but yeah, he’s the same Redline.”
“There’s a lot of ponies in Ponyville I haven’t met yet, you’ve lived here your whole life while I’ve only just arrived a few months ago. Every day I go out I meet somepony new. It kinda feels like any time the ponies of Ponyville have a need, you turn around and there’s a Pony to fill that gap. As for our caffeinated inventor... I really have no idea how common the name Redline is. Well, other than there used to be a Stallion in the running against me for Valedictorian at Celestia’s School for Gifted young Unicorns. Supposedly he was on the Artificer course fast-track. He vanished a while back though. Always wondered what happened to him.“
“Wonder if he’s the same pony?” Grapes mused thoughtfully.
“Hard to say. I only knew about him because they posted the grades on the big board in the lobby. Always wondered what he was like. ...well seeing as he was giving a bookworm-slash-personal apprentice to the Princess a run for her Bits you can imagine his intelligence level,' Twilight said with a shrug. “They could be, though. It’s a big country but a small world.” She wrote for a minute before looking back at her friend. “This is just a basic list. Nothing really special but hopefully it will have all the basics covered.”
“Mind you, I’m no Pinkie Pie, but I was pretty sure I could put together a party... Though you may know your friends and their preferences better than I would,” Grapes observed with a grin. “So this is sure to help a lot.”
“Just let her know that WE want to throw this party... I don’t want her to get all excited and try to rush over and hurt herself.”
“Oh... Right... Good point,” Grapes observed. “Don’t worry I think I’ve got a way to spin this.”
“Great.” Twilight added a few more items to the list and then gave it to Grapes. “Please let me know how the others are when you see them.”
“Well... Pinkie was doing well, when I saw her. Note to self, check in with Redline about that special delivery,” Grapes said thoughtfully, looking amused. “Applejack was being stubborn as usual. Threatened to tell Crabby on her.”
“Oh that’s mean, but fair. Applejack has to learn how to let go and let other ponies do a job she can’t.... I thought she learned that lesson, or something like it. So... what was she doing?”
“Riding around on Mac’s back, checking the damage she did while on her caffeine high,” Grapes explained.
“That’s actually clever.” she giggled. “It’s hard to imagine her being lugged about like a sack of potatoes but yeah... if she was too ill to walk she would at least want to see it all with her own eyes.”
“Yes, but ‘bedrest’ doesn’t mean ‘ride around on your big brother’s back’,” Grapes uttered with a roll of her eyes. “My cousin is the most stubborn mare in Equestria, I swear.”
“Practically speaking... probably but statistically speaking probably not. Still. Good you were there to force her to take it easy.”
“Unless I find her out and about again. Still... Maybe I should save her for last. Got Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie to invite,” Grapes said thoughtfully. “I’ll swing by AJ’s on the way back home.”
“Nice to have a plan. Oh... can you pick up some sherbert from Lovin’ Spoonful’s shop? I think that qualifies as a non-solid.”
“I think I can do that,” Grapes chuckled, as she headed out, list in ponykinesis. “Enjoy the book. Oh, see any others you want to look at, before I go?”
“Uh... well... The Adventures of the Fuzzy Wuzzy Pony in the Lost Land of the Brush People?” Twilight asked with a slightly embarrassed smile. “...Foalhood Favorite.”
“You too?” Grapes asked with a grin, as she hoofed over the book in question. “I’m saving it in case I have foals, someday...”
“I’m glad you did. Books have always been my ‘comfort food’,“ Twilight said hugging the little foal’s book with a sheepish grin. “Thank you again for this, Sour Grapes. I can hardly remember a time when I felt this... Ineffectual. It’s nice to have something I can affect even while there’s so much I cannot. Guess that’s why AJ was on Big Macintosh’s back. She couldn’t help physically but she could at least get everypony on the farm in line to get things done.”
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Sour Grapes left Grapevine hills, trotting down the lane, on her way to check up on everypony. It was better than moping around the Vineyard, fretting herself into a lather about how well the Storm Riders were faring against a volcano. She wasn’t even entirely sure HOW they were dealing with such an emergency. She made a mental note to ask Firestormer about it if.. no, not IF, WHEN they got back. The Storm Riders were competent, highly-skilled professionals when it came to this stuff. They wouldn’t take any undue risks, they would do their jobs with great efficiency and the WOULD come back. Grapes shook off the darker feelings and focused on the here and now. She checked Twilight’s list and nodded to herself. Nothing too fancy at the moment, after all much of what could be used at the Nightmare Night party could be improvised from what was laying about the property. Just some things like decorations, and snacks would be purchases... Of course that meant a trip to Filthy Rich’s store "Rich's Barnyard Bargains". As annoying as Mr Rich could be, he did have decent prices on his products.
Also she had to spread the word about her plans... well just to the ponies who mattered. She plotted out her route between Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s homes... then stopped and rethought that last one. Dash literally lived with her head in the clouds in a gorgeous surreal estate of cloudstuff, currently in a holding pattern over Ponyville. Grapes wondered what it felt like to be able to walk on clouds or treat them like one could treat wet clay... what would a bed of cloudstuff FEEL like to a pegasus? Not that she really wanted to find out, her fear of heights would probably be crippling even if she had wings to try... which also brought up the same problem. She might have to ask another pegasus to go up to Dash’s home and pass on the news. There was no bucking way she was gonna resort to setting up a ladder... or crawl up one to chat. She made a decision to save that message for last.
Grapes trotted along to the other side of town, going to visit Fluttershy, first. Thankfully the trot was lovely, and the weather was still pleasant enough that there was no need to supplement her growing winter coat with clothes. The breeze was still brisque, but the unicorn didn’t feel the need to add anything to her wardrobe, or in this case lack of wardrobe.
As she skirted the edge of the town she noted that some ponies were currently looking through an assortment of colored swatches of material, holding them up in the air and squinting at the vacant awning frames on their homes. It was funny how quickly the Ponyvilleians bounced back from a crisis. There was an odd “hardiness in the face of the bizarre” to them that gave her a rare sensation of civic pride.
Her hooves found the short road that lead to Fluttershy’s modestly secluded cottage. She couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of it. It was so... picturesque. It was like something out of a painting and was always so well kept. She wondered where Fluttershy got the money to even buy it. Unlike the usual Pegasus ‘Surreal Estate’ which was as available to make as any castle in the air, earthly property tended to come with a price tag. Still, Fluttershy had the right to her privacy on such matters. Though Grapes had her suspicions, of course. Freelance vet may pay a bill or two, but a popular author of sordid literature... Well that could definitely pay for the picturesque cottage, and buy a lot of critter food. It would also explain just why certain personalities in the aforementioned author’s books seems so... familiar.
Upon reaching Fluttershy’s cottage, Sour Grapes simply had to stop and stare. Trotting about Fluttershy’s cottage, doing little errands, were the several dozen stallions that had been rounded up by the shy pegasus, previously. Naturally, Grapes would have thought that the lads would have gone home, upon being freed from captivity.
She never really realised there were so many young, single males in town... the high Female to Male ratio tended to dilute one’s perception on such things. And yet there they were, feeding chickens, slopping pigs, brushing dogs and cats, herding sheep... It was then that a rank stink hit her nose. A... a THICK, nostril-caking, rancid odor that seemed to reach right up her nose and elbow all other smells out of the way to monopolise her sense of smell. She knew of only one source for such a malodorous stench. She switched to breathing through her mouth and without turning around, greeted him.
“Ah. Hello, Dustbin,” Grapes uttered, dearly wishing for a cantrip for numbing the sense of smell. “I see Fluttershy rounded you up too.”
“Hello, Sour Grapes. Yes she got me too, guess that means I’m an eligible bachelor,” the unkempt pony said moving up beside her and putting a large bag of Haz. Brothers brand Skunk Chow down. Dustbin was one of the friendliest ponies around. Once you got past his thick, matted grayish beige and grayish brown hair that desperately needed a dozen washes and a lawnmower, as well as the lingering odor of... Ponyville detritus that clung to him, you found him easy to like. It also helped that he had the monopoly of one of those jobs that nopony else ever wanted to do. “So what brings you over here?”
“I came by to visit Fluttershy, and see how she was doing. Twilight’s staying at my house, for her recovery, and wanted an update,” Grapes explained. “Also, since she’s feeling under the weather, I thought I’d invite her to a very sedate Nightmare Night party I’m throwing for the casualties of the Caffeinated Calamity.”
“Caffeinated Calamity. Now that’s a good way to sum it all up. Don’t touch heavily caffeinated beverages m’self... never really needed it, although the occasional, ordinary hot cuppa can perk you up when you need it. My mum swore by green tea herself. Ah well, it’s good you came by. Fluttershy’s not short of help since the other day, we just thought since she was so nice to us after the whole... herding thing, we’d stay on and help the poor thing. It was pretty obvious that she was under the weather to begin with... what with all that running about with the riding crop and yelling.”
“Yeah. The whole set weren’t themselves, that day, Dustbin,” Grapes explained with a chuckle. “But Redline is being weened off that stuff, so he should be living longer and his inventions be a bit saner. By the way, Dustbin... I hope you don’t mind my asking, but is there something wrong with your olfactory facilities?”
“My... Oh. You mean my sense of smell? Yes, there is something wrong with it... don’t got one.”
“That explains it, then,” Grapes observed.
“Yeah. Bit of a chemical accident when I was a colt burned it all out. Glad it didn’t do the same to my lungs but haven’t stopped to smell the roses since. Why do you ask?”
“Well... Let’s just say that though you have no sense of smell, other ponies do. True, having no sense of smell is a boon for working in the refuse trade, but it doesn’t help a pony keep up their daily hygiene regimen,” Grapes observed.
He lifted a leg and looked at the tangled shaggy fetlocks that seemed to hold dust and grime as possessively as Filthy Rich held onto his bit bag.
“You may have a point... it would explain why I keep getting spa certificates for Hearth’s Warming gifts.”
“Maybe. After all, it’s hard to imagine other ponies having a sense of smell, when you don’t, but you can usually see it on their faces... Most ponies don’t have scrunched up muzzles, normally,” Grapes observed. “Also... keeping clean could do wonders for your social life. You’re rather a personable pony, I’ve found. It’s just the eu de refuse that would keep somepony from wanting to get to know you better,” she added, affecting a Prench accent, briefly.
“You do make a good point. I’ll have to check with the spa and see if they can get me in for a cleaning.” Dustbin hesitated a moment before continuing. “Aloe said they couldn’t take me at the time because they needed to order in some lye soap. Guess that should have been a hint that I’m not their average customer.”
“Yeah. Probably not. But you are caked up pretty good, there,” Grapes observed, thoughtfully. “Anyway, do you think Fluttershy is up to having visitors?”
“I’d say so. Short round is keeping her household in order so she can rest. Just watch out for that cranky little bunny. I’m not sure he likes having so many young stallions about his mistress’ property.”
“Oh I think I can handle Angel Bunny,” Grapes observed, as she trotted along to Fluttershy’s house. “Good luck with the skunks.” She got to the door of the quaint cottage, and knocked, waiting patiently for the door to be answered.
The door creaked open, and her eyes dropped down to see the short stallion looking up at her expectantly. Short Round seldom spoke, his position as a servant at the Canterlot Antelope Embassy (currently closed for the winter) seemed to make him a stallion of few words but good character. Sour Grapes cleared her throat.
“Good day, Mister Round,” Grapes said in a comically officious accent, a small grin to let him know she was parodying his more pompous clients. “Is Mistress Fluttershy receiving visitors?”
He gave her a knowing smile, and stood to the side as he opened the door wide enough that she could enter. The inside of Fluttershy’s home was as nice as the outside, there was a lingering ‘animal’ smell but it was amazingly enough, not as strong as you’d think. Fluttershy no doubt kept her home very clean. The smaller pony lead Grapes up the stairs and knocked gently on a closed door.
“Who is it?”
“Hello, Fluttershy,” Grapes said through the door. “Thought I’d come by for a visit, and see how you were doing.”
“Oh... well, thank you for asking. I’m not feeling very well but everypony’s been so very nice. I was so frightened of what they would think of me when Big Macintosh brought me back the other day. You know... because I was chasing them down like... like I was herding sheep. But they were so supportive and after Big Mac explained things they offered to help me out. I wish I remembered why I wanted to round them all up and care for them. I'm not sure where the riding crop came from... I don’t even OWN a riding crop... although Mister Zoom Lens says he would like a picture of me holding it in my mouth like I was the other day.”
“Gee, I wonder why,” Grapes uttered, rolling her eyes. “Anyway... I know you’re not the biggest fan of Nightmare Night, but I thought you’d like to come to a very sedate party I’m holding for you and your friends, who were tuckered out by the caffeine. Twilight’s kinda bummed out about missing the shindig, but I thought it’d be nice to have something, so she’s not completely missing out on her first Ponyville Nightmare Night.”
“Um... I don’t have to do anything scary will I? I mean if that’s alright with you,” Fluttershy uttered timidly
“I wasn’t planning on anything scary,” Grapes said with a shrug. “Stories, maybe, but that’s about it.”
“Can... I can probably make some snacks in a well-lit kitchen for everypony. You know.. popcorn and stuff. That way I don’t have to be in the way.” Grapes, by sheer force of will, kept herself from facepalming.
“Fluttershy,” she said with more patience than she felt, “you are an invited guest. You would not be ‘in the way’. If you prefer, though, you can stay inside. My house is always well-lit, as is the Bunkhouse. Though if you want, after the scary stories, you may want to come out, and roast marshmallows.”
“Well... ok. That sounds like fun. I’ve never done much in the way of Nightmare Night... Ponies love to try to scare me. I know they don’t mean to be mean but...“
“Being scared is part of what Nightmare Night is about, and so are pranks,” Grapes said. “I know all too well. But the scares on Nightmare Night are supposed to be the fun kind. I know I know, but sometimes being scared can be fun, if you know in the back of your mind it’s all fake, but at the time it feels real. It’s a way of making fun of the things that scare you, and make them smaller in your mind.”
“All right. I’ll come. Just please let the other ponies know I’m not well enough to handle a prank right now. OK?”
“I’ll be sure to let them know. Especially Pinkie and Rainbow,” Grapes replied. “I’ve got other invitations to deliver. You should probably get some more rest. I’m sure Shortround and the others are taking very good care of you.”
“Oh yes. They’ve all been so nice. It’s good to know that my animals will be taken care of while I’m resting. Thank you for dropping by, Grapes.”
“You’re welcome. Twilight will be happy to know you’re doing well,” Grapes said getting up, and heading back downstairs. “See you Nightmare Night.”
==========================
Sour Grapes made her way back into Ponyville proper, casting a brief glance up at Rainbow Dash’s house. It was a fantastic house, with its rainbow water fountains, but there was no way in Tartarus that she was going to find her way up there. Grapes swung by Sugarcube Corner, delivering her invitation to Pinkie Pie. She took the time to explain to the sugar-fueled pony that the party was going to be rather sedate, and mostly for Pinkie and her friends who were too under-the-weather to go to the big Ponyville shindig. Pinkie, of course, wanted to contribute, but Grapes was quick to nip that notion in the bud.
"But I wanna..."
"No."
"But, Grapsie..."
"No, Pinkie."
"But... but it's a party!"
"Pinkie, do you want me to sic Crabapple on you?"
"No."
Grapes sighed. "Look, I didn't say you couldn't contribute something. Just not anything that could undo all the good the rest has done so far. Do you have any Nightmare Night decorations I could use?"
"DO I?" Pinkie cried sitting up straight in her wheelchair before wincing and slowly settling back into it. "Owie... yes. Yes I do. They're up in my room."
"Where, exactly?" Grapes asked, not wanting to stumble upon any unmentionables in the Room of Pie. Considering whose room it happened to be, the unmentionables could be pretty darned unmentionable.
"I keep them in the steamer trunk at the foot of my bed. Just be careful opening it. Like helium tanks say... contents are under pressure," replied Pinkie with a sheepish grin.
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Grapes uttered, before heading upstairs. Pinkie Pie's living space was relentlessly cheerful... and pink. She could have sworn that there were places that the earth pony could have stood and blended perfectly with her surroundings like a beast of prey... if one's prey were ponies in need of a good party or a prank. Still the trunk was easy to locate... it was an insidious dark blue with the icon of Nightmare Moon emblazoned upon it. Well, if 'emblazoned' included an artistic application of glue and silver glitter. She carefully pried open the lid, preventing it from springing open violently from the expertly crammed contents and after marveling at them all, closed the lid tight again and took the whole trunk with her. She really didn't want to spend too much time in here. Too many questions were rising up in her mind... and she REALLY didn't even WANT to know why Pinkie had a bright blue and pink cannon in the corner. Sour Grapes departed Sugarcube Corner, thanking Pinkie for the decorations, and promising to return the reusable ones. Grapes went over to Carousel Boutique from Sugarcube Corner, pausing just outside to take a deep breath. Strangely enough she found Rarity to be more trying than Pinkie Pie, some days. Especially when the diamond white unicorn was feeling particularly dramatic.
Grapes looked at the boutique, and there in the window was a piece of paper with the words “SOrry... Sick tOday. MaYbe TOmOrrOw?” scrawled on it in bright crayon. Obviously NOT the work of the perfectionistic fashionista. Grapes had seen her hoofwriting and knew that even without the use of her horn, Rarity was actually quite adept with doing things equinually. Nevermind the simple fact that crayon was not Rarity’s usual medium for making signs for her window. Grapes simply knocked, and waited for an answer. The door was opened by the small, sweet smiling face of Rarity’s little sister Sweetiebelle.
“Oh hello, Sour Grapes. Sorry but Rarity is sick and can’t do stuff today. She had a drinking problem yesterday.” Grapes stared for a few moments, then started sniggering.
“Oh... If you’re lucky I won’t tell Rarity you said that,” Grapes said with a smirk.
“Said what?”
“That she had a drinking problem,” Grapes snickered.
“Well she DID! One cup made her act all WEIRD! She put me in a dress when I wasn’t looking and made me model it for her. ...it was really pretty but she made it out of her drapes.”The small unicorn foal glanced over at where a Sweetiebelle-shaped hole sat in one of the beautiful velvet drapes.
“Having a problem with a drink, and having a drinking problem are two different things,” Grapes said, then laughed. “She made mine out of an awning.”
“OOh. Was it pretty too?”
“Actually it looked pretty good. Durable too,” Grapes said with a chuckle.
“Soooo... Rarity can’t work on any dresses today. Sorry.”
“Lucky for her, I’m not here to ask her to work on a dress,” Grapes said with a grin. “I’m here to check up on her.”
“OH! Well that’s different. I think she’d love to have a visitor. She and Rainbow Dash haven’t had any yet.“
“Rainbow Dash is here?” Grapes asked, tilting her head.
“Yeah. When Big Macintosh dropped off Rarity she said that he could leave Rainbow Dash here too. You know... because the only way he’d be able to get her up to her house would be to throw her or something. So she’s in the guest room, I’ve been sleeping on Rarity’s couch and I’ve been taking care of them both. So far Rarity has me ordering out a lot instead of letting me near the kitchen. I dunno why... I can cook.”
“Maybe she’s just concerned about a young filly in the kitchen, alone,” Grapes said kindly. “After all you could get hurt. Knives, the stove, that sort of thing. And she’s stuck upstairs, and without the use of her magic to help with any injuries you could get. Don’t look at me, either, Sweetiebelle. I don’t know the first healing spell.”
“That’s OK... maybe I can get my cutie mark in taking care of the invalid.” the foal said, letting Grapes into the shop and locking the door behind her.
“Is it something you enjoy doing?” Grapes asked, as she put the trunk down beside the door. “Anyway, planning on having a small Nightmare Night get-together at my place. Going to invite Rarity and Rainbow to come, too. Pretty sure Applejack is going to bring Applebloom. See if you could drag Scootaloo along. You, Bloom, and Scoots can go with Earshot to show him how Trick-or-Treating works.”
“OOH! Rarity’s been working REALLY hard on a Nightmare Night costume for herself. I know she’ll wanna show it off. “
“Why am I not surprised?” Grapes chuckled. “So... upstairs?”
“Yep. She’s in the big room to the left. My room, oops, I mean the guest room is to the right... and the bathroom is at the end of the hall.”
“Good to know if I need to use the facilities,” Grapes said as she trotted upstairs. She went to the left, and knocked on the door.
“Mmmmuhhh?” came a groan from somewhere beyond the door. “Sweetiebelle? You know you may come and go from my room as the situation sees fit. And right now I could use another lemonade. Plenty of ice, thank you.”
“I’ll go down, and get you some lemonade, Rarity, but anything else you’re on your own,” Grapes quipped, casually. “I’ll be right back.” Grapes went downstairs, chuckling to herself, fetched Rarity’s lemonade, with plenty of ice, and came back up.
Rarity was sitting up in her bed, elegantly simple white cotton sheets were draped across her form as she sat there in her robe, looking apologetically at Sour Grapes.
“Please forgive me, Grapes. I had NO idea that Sweetiebelle believed I was well enough to entertain visitors. Magical overtaxing aside I feel rested enough to sit up and talk, and am pleased that somepony has decided to bring well-wishes and not more dresswork. Oh, why is it when one is unable to perform that is when the demand is highest?”
“I suppose it’s because they realize something special is there, then it’s not available,” Grapes observed. “Lemonade, with plenty of ice. Good to see you’re doing better. Twilight’s still a bit horn-sore, and is missing her magic greatly.”
“Mine is aching quite smartly right now but other than some nausea and lingering nightmares of... well for some reason I keep dreaming of buildings with my designs being used to shade windows instead of awnings. A ghastly thought and yet strangely compelling.”
“Well considering you were using awnings to make fashions, yesterday, that’s not really surprising,” Grapes observed.
“I did WHAT?” she asked looking quite shocked before blinking twice and leaning forwards. “How did they turn out?”
“Well mine turned out fine. I’ve now got a rather spiffy looking dress done in green-striped canvas. It lacked buttons, of course, but I think you were a little too far in the zone, as it twere,” Grapes said, thoughtfully. “What it lacks from being made of finer materials, it makes up for in durability. And it is rather comfortable.”
“Oh... well that’s good. I can only hope the rest of my works are as well-received. So...“ she sipped at the lemonade “I am guessing since she did not leave with the rest of us that Twilight is under your tender mercies. Probably more competent than my own nursemaid but she IS trying. I’ve done my best to keep possible mishaps at a minimum by sending her out on errands such as takeout or delivering apologies to my customers. It is good to have somepony looking out for your well-being though.”
“True. Myself, I felt that I couldn’t let that poor dragon handle a severe case of magical exhaustion alone,” Grapes said. “Twilight’s case would be extreme, and the nightmares would be just as extreme. Poor guy would have been overwhelmed.”
“Oh yes... Sweetie did say she saw her floating about like... some floaty thing.”
“A balloon, perhaps?” Grapes suggested. “I did mention it to you. You probably don’t remember my mentioning that Twilight was seeing the universe...”
“The Universe? How... no. No, I don’t believe I wish to know,” the white unicorn giggled “It’s hard to picture Twilight floating about like a balloon. If she could do that then one can only imagine just how painful her magical overtaxing is right now. Poor thing.”
“Nopony was themselves, that day. You were creating clothes from awnings, Pinkie had gone into a state beyond hyper, Rainbow Dash was making rainbooms for... I don’t know how long, and Fluttershy was herding together all the eligible bachelors,” Grapes rattled off, chuckling at the memory.
“Wait... What? FLUTTERSHY?” Rarity’s jaw dropped as what Grapes said sank in past the layers of polite small-talk to her taste buds for good juicy gossip. “You mean to say she was gathering up stallions? Our little shy Fluttershy? What was she doing? Using a riding crop?”
“Yes, actually. How did you know that?” Grapes asked. “If it was yours... Well you’re kinkier than I ever thought possible, and that would explain where she got it.”
“I... I... Well I NEVER!” she huffed, turning her head to the side in exaggerated act of being indignant.
“You have to admit you trotted right into that one, Rarity,” Grapes said with a smirk. “Eyes wide open, even.”
Rarity, with her nose up in the air, glanced back at Grapes then broke out into a wide grin and giggled.
“I suppose you are right... I certainly incriminated myself with that statement. Actually yes... I do happen to have such an item. I happen to have a classic Equestrian ‘Riding’ outfit complete with scarlet jacket, black helmet, boots and yes... a riding crop... which now that I think of it was all borrowed by Fluttershy about a week ago. She said she needed it for... research? I thought she just wished to... you know... play dress-up at home. Every lady needs some time to try on outfits in private, yes? I’m surprised she put one item to better use... how many did she collect? Five? Ten? A Dozen?”
“I didn’t count, honestly. She even got Short Round, and Dustbin. I managed to stop her before she grabbed Big Mac.”
“Well we can’t say she wasn’t thorough, can we now? So, how did those poor stallions take their domestication by our empowered Filly?”
“Surprisingly well, honestly. But then Fluttershy is always so sweet, and she was a good host, despite being overcaffeinated.”
“That figures. Still it is a thought that baffles the mind. Fluttershy with a herd of strapping young stallions in a paddock. Their new mistress, trotting back and forth with a riding crop, eyeing them hungrily... I honestly don’t know whether to feel astonished or jealous.”
“I felt a bit shocked, myself, but then I saw her chasing the stallions, yelling that they are going to love her, and said stallions fleeing in terror,” Grapes casually said, deadpan. “Then she was feeling, in her words, ‘urpy’ when I caught her en route to herd Big Mac... Then she contributed to the fertilization of my mother’s begonias with the remains of her lunch.”
“Oh. Well. If I too... contributed, as it were, would you accept my apology?” Grapes chuckled, shaking her head.
“That poor begonia patch. I’d almost would have to accept your apology, Rarity. Considering I was the first... contributor, as it were,” Grapes observed, obviously laughing at herself. “I’m really really really afraid of heights.”
“Oh dear. Then it’s a good thing Rainbow Dash is staying with me. You won’t have to bribe a pegasus to air-lift you to her home to visit. She’s just down the hallway.”
“All right. Oh. Also, I’m holding a more sedate, and toned down Nightmare Night party for everypony involved in the calamity, since Twilight and I figured that nopony who went through it would be up for the big town shindig,” said Grapes, gesturing toward the window to indicate the town square. “Got some decorations from Pinkie, so she’ll feel like she’s at least contributing something to a party. Still got to pick up some snacks, but that should not be too hard.”
“That actually sounds wonderful. I have a costume I was SO looking forwards to showing off. Give me a moment to stand and get my cane and I shall join you to see what Rainbow Dash’s expression is. Poor thing has been doing little more than sleeping since the event. She only awakens long enough to have a drink, relieve herself and then hobble back to bed.”
“Well doing consecutive sonic rainbooms over an unaccountable span of time was probably very hard on her. The gravitational forces, and atmospheric resistance probably took its toll on her musculoskeletal system,” the winemaker observed casually.
Rarity grunted in a very un-ladylike manner and finding a cane that would have looked more appropriate in a chorus line, got to her hooves and led Grapes down the hallway. The unicorn peered through the doorway on the right and then pulled away.
“Oh dear.”
“‘Oh dear’?” Grapes asked, peeking into the room.
The guest room was very different from Rarity’s own room. Where her personal chamber was a testament to femininity which included elaborate drapes, exquisitely carved wooden furniture and a four-poster canopy bed, the guest room was very utilitarian. The walls were a soft but neutral blue with no pictures, a simple window with white curtains shone light in from the morning sun. For furniture it had a very ordinary single-pony bed, a bed table, an armoire and a Dresser with a large mirror. All in all Grapes could understand why Rarity made this room so spartan in comparison to the rest of her home. She had no idea who would be staying in it and was trying to keep the decor as neutral as possible to give them a feeling of comfort. But that really wasn’t what had caused Rarity to lower her voice to a hush.
Rainbow Dash was SERIOUSLY flaked out in the small bed, snoring softly, and there next to the bed was Sweetibelle.
And a makeup kit.
Rarity was peeking through the doorway with Grapes now, shaking with suppressed giggles as her sister was applying liberal quantities of make-up to the one mare in Ponyville who swore off anything ‘girly’ years ago.
“This won’t end well,” Grapes whispered.
“Oh no...” Rarity sniggered. “It certainly will not... we may have to intervene should... oops. Too late.”
One eye on the pegasus was sleepily opening, then the other. Their owner blinked the stickiness in them away as Sweetiebelle continued to apply blush to her patient. A slow recognition entered Dash’s eyes as they now widened in shock and outrage, rotating slowly to regard the filly with a suppressed anger.
“Sweetiebelle?”
“Oh Hi Rainbow Dash.”
“What... what are you doing?”
“Making you look pretty.”
“Uh huh.”
“Yeah.”
“So I’m in a tea-induced coma and you think I needed to look pretty?”
“Yep. You never wear make-up and I thought maybe that’s because you don’t know how pretty you can look with it, and so I thought I might be able to get my cutie mark in beautician stuff.”
“Uh huh.”
There was a long silence between them as Sweetiebelle added lipstick to Dash’s muzzle.
“You are SO lucky I actually like you kid. Could you do me a solid and get me something to wash this stuff off with?”
“Well... ok. It’ll have to be cold cream though. Rarity likes waterproof makeups.”
She trotted happily out the door, past the two mares and down into the washroom, leaving Dash all alone. The Pegasus moaned as she slowly rolled herself out of bed, popping sounds seemed to come from every joint in her body when she moved but with the stubbornness usually found only in earth ponies she got to her hooves and pulled her face up and level with the mirror on the dresser.
“Great Celestia on a Bicycle! I look like a circus clown!”
“That’s an understatement.” Rarity quietly agreed to Grapes under her breath as they watched the show.
Grapes merely snerked, as she watched Dash.
The Cyan pony leaned in closer to the mirror to examine Sweetiebelle’s work. She didn’t just blow her stack like the two voyeurs thought she might but was slowly and carefully looking over everything that was done. Tilting her head at different angles to scrutinise the makeup caked on her face.
“Ugh. Not really my thing,” she concluded. “How does Rarity make this paint job look so good? It’s like smearing colored mud on your face to me. Well...” She leaned in forwards and smirked. “Okay. The eyeshadow is okay. The color actually does something for me. Huh. This stuff REALLY brings out my eyes.” Rarity and Grapes watched in stunned shock as Dash struck a pose or two and batted her eyes at the mirror and spoke in a voice no doubt inspired by Rarity’s. “I do so ADORE this color, my darling. I have always felt my eyes have always been my FINEST feature. Perhaps I shall wear it the next time I sip tea with the Princess.” Grapes covered her mouth with her hooves, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“Yeah, Dash, that really suits you,” Grapes said out loud.
Dash’s head snapped around like it was spring-loaded and she stared in horror at her friends seeing her in her moment of ‘shame’. She recoiled in terror, trying to block their view by waving her hooves in front of her face. “Don’t look at me! DON’T LOOK AT MEEEEE!”
“Oh for the love of... And they call ME a drama queen!”
“You are,” Grapes quipped.
“Well... yes. But at least I am not so amateurish at it,” she declared as she managed to settle her giggles and trot into the room to where Dash was now trying to huddle in the corner. “Please, Rainbow Dash. We know this is Sweetiebelle’s work. You are far too... ur, ‘awesome’ to wear makeup so irresponsibly?”
“Yeah. I’m not the biggest fan of makeup, myself, but even I know it’s meant to be used sparingly in order to enhance your natural features... and cover up any blemishes,” Grapes said, oh-so-casually cutting her eyes toward Rarity.
“Yes. Yes. And you did have a point about the eyeshadow. It does bring out the color in your eyes. Perhaps you should keep some on hand for... special occasions. Better a little daub here and there rather than looking like... “ she giggled “...Floppy Hooves the Clown.”
“Aw RARITY!” Dash cried out trying to wipe the makeup off of her cheeks.
“Sorry dear. I couldn’t resist.”
“Calm down, Dash. Here comes Sweetiebelle,” Grapes said with a chuckle.
“I got the cold cream, and some hot water and some old towels Rarity uses for Opal. OH hi Rarity.”
“You may leave what you brought with us, Sweetie. We’ll get Dash all cleaned up. It’ll give us something to do that doesn’t require magic.”
“And give me a chance to tell Dash about the Nightmare Night party I’m holding,” Grapes said taking the items from the young filly, carefully.
“Nightmare Night?” Sweetie asked while Dash ceased her ineffectual hoof-rubbing.
“Woah, wait. What was that about Nightmare Night again?”
“I’m holding a small Nightmare Night party for all the victims of the Caffeinated Calamity,” Grapes explained. “Twilight and I both figured that everypony who had drank Redline’s weapon of equine destruction would not be up to attending the big town party.”
Rainbow Dash looked at Grapes a moment then carefully sat herself down on the bed where they could begin cleaning her up.
“You know... after all that craziness that day...” she then gave a sidelong glance at Sweetiebelle with a smirk “And the craziness in here, maybe a quieter Nightmare Night would be good for me. Bet Rarity has enough stuff laying around here that I can come up with a costume. You know.. to get in the spirit. Can I get a lift there too? My wings feel like jello at the moment and I don’t think they’ll be much better by the time of the party.”
“You could try walking, you know,” Grapes quipped. “Unless you think your legs will still feel like jello. If so... I’ll see what I can do. I do have a larger farm cart.”
“Well my wings are like jello, and the rest of me feels... crud I feel like I got put through a garlic press. Squeezed through the holes and come back together. I must’ve been really booking there.”
“You were doing rainbooms, Dash. Over, and over,” Grapes said.
“Really? AWESOME!... ow.”
“Yes. Awesome. Now hold still while we work around your eyes Rainbow Dash.”
“Ok Rarity. So... yeah. I’d love to go to your party Grapes.”
“That sounds great. It’ll be nice to have you all,” Grapes said.
The remainder of Grape’s visit consisted of some jokes at Twilight’s expense, an update to Fluttershy’s condition and scrubbing Rainbow Dash’s face free of any colors that weren’t there to start with. It was a nice visit, but soon Grapes had to leave, and put in an order for some snack foods with the Cakes for her party. She took the time to read over the list that Twilight gave her, to double check things, before she left town, Pinkie’s steamer trunk in tow.
Back on home soil she put the steamer trunk in her barn for safekeeping, only to hear a dull *THUMP* and a sharp cry of surprise from the barn about ten minutes later. She entered to find Nightmare Night decorations on every surface and a very surprised Thistledown tangled up in a cocoon of blue and black streamers.
“What, may I ask the buck just happened?”
“You opened the box,” Grapes said casually. “It was perfectly packed by Pinkie Pie to preposterous proportions.”
“Positively, this package popped me on my posterior from the party... uh... dang... ran out of P words..” he trailed off before looking up at her with a pleading expression “Um... little help? Out of this stuff, not with the rhyming thing.”
“It’s called ‘alliteration’, Thistledown,” Grapes explained as she helped the poor stallion get free of the streamers.
“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I’m not being smothered in decorations.”
“Of course. The lesson, here, is do not open strange boxes,” she mused, as she started to pick up the decor. “These were contributed by Pinkie Pie, since she can’t come and cater the party herself.”
“I thought I smelt the lingering scent of sugar cookies.” he said as he was worked free and the extra decorations were put back in the box. “Figures she would have a party-in-the-box device. I suspect Redline builds her stuff for her.”
“Oh. Dear... That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?”
“You know... it does. I’ve seen her with this weird... thing that let her fly when Rainbow Dash had a flying friend in town. Freaky Gryphon gal. Very surly. I just stayed out of her way.” Thistledown dropped his voice and said in a hushed tone “Do you know Gryphons even got a word for pony meat?”
“Well, there was a time when Equestria and the Gryphon Kingdom was at war, Thistle,” Grapes said. “That was a long time ago, during the reign of Prince Nebula, but still... I’m sure that both sides were somewhat... uncivilized during that time.”
“Oh. I never knew we had a war with anyone. Guess I slept through that part of class. “
“I’ve probably got a book about it, somewhere,” Grapes muttered absently, as she went over Twilight’s list again.
“Yeah. Still.. to know what it means when they refer to us as basashi when they feel like insulting us... it kinda makes me wish I never took conversational Griffin in school.”
“... Wait... ‘basashi’ is Griffin for ‘pony meat’?” Grapes asked looking startled.
“Yeah. Like you said it’s an old word, but it’s still very active in their language as a derogatory expression towards ponies.”
“You don’t remember? We had a pony, here, who called himself ‘basashi’,” Grapes uttered. “That huge Freerunner.”
“Him? Oh yeah... I never asked his name. Seemed like a nice fellow though, even if he looked like he could take your head off with just one hoof. Guess when you’re built like a brick outhouse you can call yourself whatever you want and get away with it.”
“I guess so. Welp, we’re set up for Nightmare Night. Just got to go and invite AJ. Wanted to get this home, before headed over there. How’s our guest doing?”
“Well I checked up on her a few times. She was reading for awhile, then sleeping, reading, sleeping, sleeping, reading... and now sleeping. Her book is like a little fort the way it’s propped up on her horn right now. I sketched out a picture to commemorate the moment. Wanna see?”
“You’re an artist?” Grapes asked, curiously, as she gestured for him to show her the sketch.
He complied readily, pulling a small notebook from his outrageously purple shock of mane and flipped it past a series of photo-accurate pencil sketches of the Vineyards before finding the one he was looking for. There was Twilight, on her back in bed, the book resting over her face, and yes... her horn propped it up like a little tent.
“I know I’m no Reinbrant but how’s it look?”
“That’s... really quite good,” Grapes said, sounding astonished. “You have quite the talent, Thistledown.”
“You really think so? My parents always said I should focus less on drawing and more on getting a real job... like working in their Sandwich shop in Manehatten.”
“Well that’s typical parents for you. Can I ask you how you got your cutie mark?”
He glanced back at his flank and gave the thistle-shaped icon a rub, smearing it.
“Sure, but it’s a short story. I don’t got one.” he said matter-of-factually.
“That’s kind of rare,” Grapes observed. “I suppose you haven’t, really, found your special talent, just yet.”
“Pretty much what I was thinking.” he agreed, pulling some color sticks from his mane and did a touch-up job on the Thistle. “I never really felt like I needed one to tell me who I am, in fact the only reason I do this is to keep ponies from staring. And to keep mom and dad quiet. There. Good as new.”
The ersatz-cutie mark was quite well done, looking virtually indistinguishable from the real deal. There was no doubt that Thistledown had a lot of artistic ability. She had seen his work with the wagon earlier that year and flipping through the sketchbook was like finding a secret stash of forgotten treasures. He certainly shouldn’t be making sandwiches for a living, and just toiling in her vineyard was a disservice to such talent. There had to be some way to make use of him that went a little past picking and carrying produce.
“Hey, Thistle,” Grapes said thoughtfully. “How would you like to be in charge of labels and advertising for the vineyard?” He straightened up and looked at her in surprise.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am serious. You’ve got a real talent. I’m not sure how good a designer you are, but you are quite the artist, and could definitely update the labels with a better image of the Vineyard than what’s on them, currently. It would be wasted, keeping you stuck as a produce picker.”
“Well I admit picking produce isn’t what I call fulfilling or intellectually stimulating, but it has been the most honest work I’ve put in in years. I don’t see labels and advertising being a full-time gig but share that out with the manual labor and you’d be getting your bits out of me. So... yeah. I’d like to give it a try.”
“Glad to have you aboard, Thistledown,” Grapes said with a grin, shaking his hoof.
==========================
Sour Grapes was astonished at the sheer variety of Pinkie’s Nightmare Night decorations. Thistledown’s inadvertent ‘decorating’ of the barn with them was a blessing in disguise. It allowed her to see it all at once rather than having to carefully unpack everything. Everything from darkly colored balloons to books on Nightmare Night themed party games was laid out before her... in a chaotic way. She was able to cherry pick... or should that be GRAPE pick what she liked most and could find a use for from the mess and then pack away what was, in a word, superfluous. Twilight was a good help, despite being in bed, sleepy and unable to muster the strength to levitate a pencil. Grapes discussed what she had, the yard space she was allotting and Twilight was able to give some good ideas... and a few that Grapes patiently turned down as they were a little TOO academic for anyone not particularly interested in Equestrian history to really ‘get’. Still she was good company, and she was a particularly good-natured critic for some of Thistledown’s initial ideas for some new label concepts. Grapes had to admit that in spite of his usually flippant attitude, Thistledown seemed to really be throwing himself into this opportunity to put his artistic drive to good use.
At the end of the day, chores were done, decorations were ready to go up and guests put to bed. As Twilight and Spike drifted off to sleep and Owlwishes rose to take the night shift Grapes dragged herself to a fitful sleep of her own. She had flashes of dreams involving Royal Guards arriving at her door to present six urns of ashes to her. One sprouting large cloud-gray wings and fluttering off before she had a chance to take it into her hooves.
She awoke in her guest room, upset and angry at her own overly creative subconscious. She got out of bed for a drink when she heard light flapping from outside in the yard. Moving quietly to the window she watched as six moonlit figures descended from the sky, landing in her yard. They were BACK! They were filthy with soot and grime, their bodies had small burns in places and their body language betrayed their emotional and physical exhaustion but they were back! She wanted to run out then and there and greet them, but there in the quiet of the waning hours between night and dawn she could see a sort of ritual going on. Without a word they went to the dining table and laid out their gear, Queenie began operating the pump, filling the Trough with fresh water while Earshot disappeared into the bunkhouse only to return shortly afterwards with towels and cakes of soap.
Nopony spoke as they cleaned one another and applied healing balm to their wounds. They scrubbed their gear free of the filth that ash and soot had caked them with. Goggles were polished, their scarves and bags were cleaned and the filters inside of their muzzle-covering masks were swapped out with fresh ones. Even from her perch, Grapes could tell how weary they were and yet, their discipline was great enough to make certain that both their equipment and one another would be in decent shape to be used for the next emergency.
The first rays of the dawn began to illuminate the yard, the Storm-Riders had finally finished and they slowly dragged themselves to the bunkhouse where they no doubt would sleep at least until noon... and Grapes would let them. Heck... SHE was tempted to go back to sleep now that she knew her Storm-Riders were home safe. Grapes sighed, and trotted downstairs, not giving into the temptation. It was about time for her to start her day, and though she was going to go about her chores in as quiet a manner as possible, she still had them to do. Another day of pre-winter preparation had to be completed. Another day of decorating had to be done. And lastly, a hearty lunch had to be cooked. They were sure to have not eaten well during the disaster, and would need to regain their strength.
As Grapes directed the green and magenta form of Thistledown to his section of grape vines to cover with insulating hay, she began to wonder about her depth of feeling toward the Storm Riders, and Stormfront in particular. They had began to feel like family. Like she had gained four brothers and a sister, and a kindly uncle. Stormfront, however, presented a different conundrum all together.
If the reactions from the local pegasai mares was any indication, Stormfront was a decently handsome Pegasus. She of course could only judge his looks from an earth pony or unicorn standard and well... he sure as hay wasn’t UGLY, that’s for sure. Nevermind his personality, which was easy-going, and considerate, those eyes, that smile... Grapes remembered how her cousin Purebrook had answered her rather naive question she had asked at one reunion: You could tell that you were in love when all the songs started to make sense. This was what Grapes suspected was happening, but she was not going to go for any great declarations just yet. For one thing, she did not really have time, just now. And for another thing, she was unsure if Stormfront felt the same. She was not going to risk losing a friend, and one of her best workers - and possibly all his pals too - just because she was infatuated.
Infatuation.
That had to be it.
She would get over it, soon.
She was sure of it.
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Preparations and Paliptations
Preperations and Palpitations
The time seemed to pass with the slowness of molasses in mid-winter. Sour Grapes did not want to keep thinking about her decision to not follow through with her infatuation, but that was the thing about equinal labor. It did not engage the mind, and left plenty of time to think. There could not have been another pony who was grateful for the time to get close to noon. Cooking took thought, and she was going to make the Riders a hearty lunch. Now just what to fix?
There were some dried goods in the pantry, easy to prepare and good to bulk out stews, soups and other basic meals. With the chill in the air, a good hearty stew would be just the thing. Potatoes, carrots, legumes, and assorted other vegetables soon were put into the basket to be taken into the kitchen and turned into something tasty. Sour Grapes would have to make sure to puree anything she made for Twilight’s sake, though. So a basic stew of veggies and grains would be hearty, and filling. Grapes set that to simmering, pulling out the much-used blender, and a smaller pan to whip up Twilight’s serving.
Spike wandered into the kitchen, sucking on what looked like a ruby. He peered up over the counter to watch Grapes as she began to bring the water to a boil.
“So what’s on the lunch menu today? Whatever it is we’re gonna have to make a lot, your employees are back and... they kinda look like how one of Pinkie Pie’s Piñatas feel.”
“I saw them when they came in, Spike. I’m fixing a nice stew for their lunch. Should be hearty, nutritious, and filling. Just the thing to help get back their energy after an exhausting couple of days,” replied Grapes, as she started adding seasoning in a very holistic manner.
“OK. You need me to do anything? Set up the table? Fetch stuff from the root cellar? Get the breakfast-in-bed serving set ready for Twilight’s portion?”
“You can set the table, and get the tray ready to take up to Twilight. I’ve already gotten the ingredients I need, though. Thanks, Spike,” Grapes said rubbing his head. “You’ve been a fantastic help.”
“Hey, that’s what I’m here for... at least until I’m forty feet tall and out on my own.” The little dragon set about grabbing dishes and napkins and other paraphernalia before heading out to the dining table.
“Forty feet tall?” Grapes asked, sounding confused, then shrugged,and continued with her stew-making.”
She busied herself at the stove for a while, adding what seemed right and stirring occasionally. The contents of the pot smelt like it was coming along. Dried ingredients plumping up nicely while fresh ones were beginning to soften. She didn’t even notice the presence behind her until Firestormer’s nose came around from the left inhaling the soup’s aroma deeply.
“YAIE!” Grapes yelped, leaping rather impressively for an earth-bound mare. “HOW in the hoary horseradished hay did you become so soft-hooved?!”
“Doing time training with ground-pounders. Ponies who fight wildfires and forest fires, up close and on the ground,” he said matter-of-factly. “They gotta wear some seriously heavy footwear so they can walk on ground hot enough to burn your hooves up to your ankles. They make all the rookies practice marching, walking and running in them for hours at a time. When you take them off... well you realise you feel a LOT lighter.”
“And much to your disappointment, you’ve got four left hooves, right?” Grapes quipped, offering Firestormer a taste of stew.
“Surprisingly enough... no. Turns out I got used to it pretty quickly and well, it kinda helped me become more sure of my footing. Never learned to dance or anything but I have what some of the Lumberjack ponies call ‘Logdriver’s hooves’ and asked me if I wanted to try being a lumberjack next,” Firestormer paused for a moment. ”I had other plans though.” He accepted the taste and smiled. “Really nice. You got any white pepper? That might pep this up a little without being too strong.”
“I do, actually. It’s a leftover from when Mom did the cooking. I always wondered why she had multiple hues of pepper, but she did tend to get fancy on holiday meals,” Grapes observed, as she fetched the pepper from the cabinet. “Mom was from Canterlot, originally.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. Then again I don’t think I ever spoke to your mom directly. She looked like a really nice mare.”
“She is one of the better cooks. She taught me a lot about cooking, too,” Grapes said with a smile. “The different hues of pepper add a different taste. She’s even got green and pink peppercorns. And, of course, you have some tabasco pepper sauce on the table to turn this perfectly innocent stew into your usual moulton dish.”
“I like my food with a little spice but I find that it has to be the right amount. Enough to let your taste buds know they’re alive... but never so much that you can’t taste the hard work of a chef who toiled to make something tasty in it’s own right.”
“Yeah. That’s the problem that you have with some ponies who try their hoof at New Hayleans cuisine. They spice it to ‘surface of the sun’ levels. You want some, as my Aunt Muscadine says ‘zang’ to it, but you don’t want to burn off your taste buds,” Grapes said, as she sampled the soup, and added a magical pinch more of the pepper.”
He moved away to give her some space, and sat down at the kitchen table. He watched a while then sighed.
“No fatalities.” he said rather out of the blue, the words short but speaking volumes.
“Good to know,” Grapes murmured, as she pulled out a baguette, and sliced it thinly. “Any serious injuries?”
“A few. None on the team, thank goodness for small miracles. Among the populace there were blessed few to call ‘serious’ but it’s never easy trying to explain that to some little filly who’s sifting through the ashes that was once her bedroom to see if anything survived. The worst injuries happened because of some...” the orange pony hesitated a moment, head twisting in a painfully looking manner to the left as he grimaced in a way that suggested he was fighting back some choice cuss words. “...nnngh... there are just some ponies in the world that really should have been locked away to save the rest of us from their stupidity.”
“Anypony we know? Or just some idiotic feather-jockey with more guts than brains showing off, hoping to get into the Wonderfarts?” Grapes asked casually, then smirked. “And you’re off duty, Firestormer. If you were on-the-job, you’d get a reprimand, but off duty, you can call a clod-brained cloud jockey a clod-brained cloud jockey, and not get into trouble.”
“Thanks... I mean it. It’s just... they should have KNOWN better. I mean this was a total no brainer and yet there they were. Straight from a celebrity visit to a local foal’s hospital, two streaks of blue and yellow surging up into a sky filled with ash, soot and Celestia knows what else! I at least know the risks and made certain that me and the others were ready for them but those... WONDERBOLTS! URGH!” he bonked his head against the table and gave a large moan. “No preparation, no planning, NO common sense. It was as if they wanted to die... and they nearly did. They probably thought they could treat ashfall like a snowstorm. It’s like I’ve told the others. Feathers get clogged. Ash and soot will get into your eyes and blind you or into your lungs along with all kinds of volcanic fumes... It’s not a nice way to go. Never just rush in blindly. Wear goggles and a filter. Only take short flights and take short breaks often to give yourself a chance to shake the ash out of your wings. Last thing you want is to choke or get too bogged down to fly when you’re in no position to do anything about it.”
“So a pair of Underdolts came and tried to steal the glory in a place where there was no glory to be had,” Grapes mused, spooning out some of the stew into the pan, then poured the pan’s contents into the blender to liquefy the stew.
Firestormer chuckled and nodded.
“There’s no room for ego during an emergency like that. They were oh-so-very lucky they weren’t killed. As it is the Light blue mare with the white mane needs to get her wing worked back into it’s socket... too much ash between the feathers to keep her from having anything BUT a crash landing. On the other hoof, the cobalt-colored one with the smart mouth, will be in an oxygen tent for a while. Turns out he’s not so witty when his lungs are clogged.”
“I don’t keep up with the Wonderbolts, to be honest. I have enough trouble with the mares on the weather team. They seem to find you and your cohorts quite fascinating,” Grapes said, as she poured the liquefied stew into the saucepan, and reheated it.
“Wait... what?” He blinked and stared at her a moment. “Run that one past me again. The mares on the weather team?”
“You mean you haven’t noticed them taking their ‘breaks’ on my fence when I wasn’t supposed to be looking, or ‘discretely’ moving clouds around the vineyard?” Grapes teased with an impish grin. “You must be losing your touch, Firestormer.”
“Touch? What touch? Oh... OH! Uh... yeah. Must be losing my touch, not... noticing all those mares. Yeah. Maybe I’ve been just working too hard to be my usual uh... Love-em-and-leave-em kind of guy. “ Firestormer paused a moment with a smile as phoney as a three bit pearl necklace. “Sooooo... how many on average?”
“Sorry, Casanova, I never keep a count,” Grapes uttered with a smirk, as she tested the temperature of the soup. She poured it into glass, added the requisite straw, poured some juice to go with it. “Hey, Spike? I got Twilight’s lunch ready. Would you carry it up to her, please?”
“Sure thing.”
“Hey little guy. Didn’t see you there,” Firestormer greeted Spike as he came in.
“Oh hey Firestormer. Yeah just got back from setting up,” the little purple and green dragon said as he took the tray of pureed goodness into his claws and headed up the stairs to where Twilight was staying.
“Nice guy... Glad to see crankiness doesn’t automatically come with the fireproof scales and 3rd degree morning breath.”
“You know another young dragon?” Grapes asked, sounding very curious.
“Well. Yeah. Smudge is the guy who sends us our summons. Teleportation fire is very useful to have when it positively, absolutely has to be there ten minutes ago.” he smirked. “Mom and Pop are in negotiation with some dragons to see if any were interested in doing it as a hobby. Smudge on the other hand... well... he’s kinda doing ‘Community Service’.”
“How does a dragon get a community service sentence? He do something naughty?” Grapes queried.
“Well... neither Lady Weathervane or Smudge will say much on the subject, but apparently it’s summed up, to the effect of ‘Do not anger the solar monarch, unless you wish to pay the price.’ I believe them.”
“Hmmm... makes sense to me,” Grapes observed, as she levitated the soup out into the dining room. “Well better let everypony know soup’s on. So. Feel better for having the chance to rant about the Blunderbolts?”
He eyed her and began to giggle.
“Yeah... I’m still frustrated at their actions but, at least now I feel better that not everypony worships the air out of their buttocks.”
“I’m not a pegasus, hon. If they did more than just flying shows, and water transfer supervision, then yeah, I’d think more of them. But all they are is a bunch of stunt jockeys that turn normally sensible pegasi into giddy fanponies. They’re impractical, egotistical, and do nothing but take young pegasi away from the more needed job paths,” Grapes groused.
“Well they also get a lot of worship from the other ponies. They have their share of Unicorn and Earth Pony groupies. Meanwhile me and the guys work our wings off and still are next to unknowns... where’s OUR love?”
“Usually out on the edge of the property watching you from the fenceline. Is that good enough for you?” Grapes quipped from the dining room. “Now go and tell the others that lunch is served.”
“Yes Ma’am!” Firestormer said saluting her sharply “And... thanks.”
“You’re welcome, fly boy,” Grapes smirked.
Lunch went very well, Grapes could see how a good rest and a hearty meal did wonders for her crew. The early-morning weariness she had witnessed now peeling away to show the old Storm-Riders she knew... even if their colors were somewhat less vibrant. All the ash and soot had a way of doing that for the next few washes, Once they had been rejuvenated enough she sprung the news on them that what she jokingly called “The Mane Six” would be spending Nightmare Night on their property.
Reactions were a little mixed but the most surprising came from Earshot.
“What’s Nightmare Night?”
“Oh... boy... this is going to take some explanation. For most ponies, Nightmare Night is a holiday that is used to poke fun at all things scary,” Grapes explained, obviously thinking through how to spring the news of the... less salient bits of Nightmare Night on the poor Night Pony. “It didn’t start out that way, but... well... it gets its name from Princess Luna’s stint of being... somewhat less than sane. In other words, Nightmare Night is named for Nightmare Moon. It’s changed a bit, but nowadays, it’s a festival about scary things, i.e., the stuff of ‘nightmares’. It’s a way to make them a bit less scary. The foals go ‘round town, knocking on doors, and receiving candy. Though there’s tact permission to play a small harmless prank on anypony who doesn’t cough up the goods. The adults have the big Nightmare Night party in the town square, with games, and food.”
“So foals go begging for candy, and the grown-ups just GIVE it to them?”
“It’s not ‘begging’. They don’t go from door to door asking for candy. It’s... kind of a bribe to keep the pranks from being played. I played some good ones on the more stingy mares in town, too. You say: ‘Nightmare Night, what a fright. Give me something good to bite’, and you’ve gotta be in costume. That’s important too. Everybody wears costumes on Nightmare Night. Originally it was from an old legend that Nightmare Moon could send down her ghost to come and snatch away foals, unless they were in costume. Later even the grownups got involved, and some seem to want to outdo each other in how creative their costumes are. I think the whole candy offering thing came about after the whole candy or prank thing came into play. True it may have been taken from an old appeasement ritual, but the idea must have seemed divinely sent to parents. It was a way to get the foals to NOT be eating candy till their teeth rotted, after Nightmare Night,” Grapes explained, having to laugh at herself. In all honesty, she should have started with the candy, first, from the looks of it. If there was any doubt that Earshot was just like any other ten-year-old foal, then this would have laid them to rest.
“But we still would get to keep some candy for ourselves... right?” Earshot asked, causing Grapes to smile a bit.
“Of course! If we weren’t, the whole holiday would come to a screeching halt! It’s supposed to be enjoyed by everypony, the one night of the year, where foals get to stay up late, and gnosh candy. Not give it all away to a statue,” Grapes declared excitedly.
“So why haven’t I been introduced to this before? Usually around this time of year I get told to go to bed early and they let me play my opera records at full volume next to me.”
The Storm-Riders looked guilty as they toed the ground uncomfortably.
“Well lad... you see the truth is... We really didn’t know how to explain Nightmare Night to you without risking hurtin’ yer feelings.”
“Mainly, if I have my guesses right, because your people revere Princess Luna, and still feel guilty about not knowing if your ancestors made a pact with Nightmare Moon, or not,” Grapes said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “They didn’t want you to be saddened by Princess Luna’s alter ego being remembered, while Princess Luna, herself, was not. But then, this was probably before her being cured by the Elements of Harmony. No telling what Princess Luna is going to think of the holiday, now that she’s back.”
“I think she might like getting candy. Who doesn’t like candy?”
“Dentists?” Grapes quipped.
“I’d think Dentists would LOVE candy. It brings in more business.”
“Kid’s got a point.” Stormfront said with a smile. “Look... maybe we were being overprotective of you in not introducing you to Nightmare Night before. You’re level-headed enough to accept that it’s all in good fun... and you certainly haven’t gotten upset over finding out how the world perceives Night Ponies. Maybe... this will be a good experience for you. Also it’ll give you something to write home about.”
“You can’t keep a foal in protective wrappings forever,” Grapes said quietly. “Even if that foal’s tough as nails, and faced horrors, there are still going to be things you can’t protect him from. Sometimes he’s just going to have to get his knees skint, and then learn to pick himself up. Mares and Stallions may be forgiving, but other foals... now that’s going to be tough. So. You looking forward to starting School, after Nightmare Night, Earshot?”
“Well, yeah! Shouldn’t I?”
“It’s going to be very different. I’ll have to see what Rarity has for you to wear to meet Cheerilee, but... Well, like I said, other foals can be incredibly cruel,” Grapes advised with a smile. “You’re going to be different, and a lot of foals don’t like the one who’s different. You may be teased, and taunted, and even bullied. But don’t let them get you down, Earshot. They’re trying to make you feel small, because they don’t want to learn or even give somepony a chance..”
“Or they ARE small, and the only way they can feel big is to make YOU feel small.” Queenie said, hugging Earshot. “There are far more of those kinds of ponies than should exist.”
“I agree wholeheartedly, Queenie,” Grapes said, with a sad frown on her face.
“So... going back to the candy...”
“YES yes yes... Candy abounds on Nightmare Night, and we’ll have somepony take you out treat-or-tricking.” The blond pegasus laughed hugging him a little tighter before releasing him. “But you’ll have to find a costume first.”
“Miss Grapes? Where can I get a costume?”
“This time of year? Most of the stores sell them or at the very least accessories, like Pinkie’s favorite party supply store. I’m afraid that Rarity’s out-of-commission, so she can’t make you one, this year,” Grapes answered.
“Ok. I’m sure I can find a nice costume in time for the party.”
“Actually...” Firestormer said quietly “Would you mind if I did some party tricks to liven things up a little? You know. Put on a show?”
“Not at all, Firestormer. I’m sure everypony would enjoy whatever tricks you do,” Grapes said with a smile.
“Actually, Lass... the lad’s not alone in his desire to pitch in for the party. I had me a thought about turning some of yer frames into a haunted maze fer the foals. Just take some canvas and a few odds and ends.” Grapes blinked in surprize, them grinned.
“All right, anypony who has any ideas to liven up the Nightmare Night party for the foals has carte blanche to put those ideas in motion, as long as said ideas can be disassembled, easily, within the next few days,” Grapes declared. “How’s that?”
And when all was said and done, the Storm-Riders needed a distraction from their last job. It had been long, hard, somewhat brutal, and very sad in some instances. They had saved lives, not property, but property can be replaced. Now, however, they needed to recuperate, and maybe even have a little fun. The bunkhouse was so close to being done that one could almost stick a fork into it. And all the little projects to make the vineyard an enjoyable Nightmare Night attraction was also coming along nicely. A maze was constructed, snacks were made, with Stormy being kept well away from any baking. And lastly, Twilight Sparkle was finally able to eat semi-solids, and walk around a bit.
Grapes was surprised when she caught Firestormer, freshly returned from town, placing bottles of what she recognised as the cheapest, nastiest alcohol available onto the yard dining table. There were other things in the grocery bags but she took some ‘professional’ offence to the presence of such blatant ‘booze’ on her property.
“You know, you could have gotten something much more... palatable with your employee’s discount, Firestormer,” Grapes observed, eyeing the hootch in disdain.
“Uh? Oh hey, Grapes. You mean this stuff? Sorry about that but for what I got planned, I need something good and strong. Way over the 40 proof mark.”
“I do have some stronger drinks, Firestormer. Not sure why you want something so strong, but...”
“Look I know you take great pride in your product, and yes you have some strong stuff but... okay. I was gonna surprise you tonight but... you forced my hoof. Time for a demonstration.”
The orange pegasus jerked the cork from a bottle labeled “Faust’s Bane” with his teeth and spit it to the side. he then winked at her before tilting his head back and taking a deep draught but surprisingly enough, not swallowing it. His cheeks bulged like a frog’s before he put the bottle back down.
What happened next was a genuine shock. He turned his head away from the house and a great blue gout of flame filled the air. It was astounding, and he did it again, and then a third time. Each time the brief burst of flame, akin to a dragon’s breath. He wiped his mouth on the ‘sleeve’ of his leg before smiling at Grapes.
“A fire breathing trick. Nice! I haven’t seen one in years,” Grapes said with a grin, then smirked. “You still could have used my strong stuff for that, though... Probably wouldn’t leave as bad a taste in your mouth as this stuff. I don’t mind my ‘art’ being used to create somebody else’s. Not sure how you did the actual fire-breath, but I bet you had some rainbow water in your mouth too... Or this rotgut is made with rainbow water... Either way, I suspect rainbow water in the color change.”
“You have a good mind for thinking this stuff out. So yeah. A little Rainbow water goes a long way. Picked some up from the local Weather Pony outlet and was trying to decide what color would go best for my show. I’m afraid that I can’t show you how I ignited the stuff, it’s a trade secret but... somepony as sharp as you’ll probably work it out by morning. As for using YOUR product... well... I never thought of it. Guess I had too much respect for your hard work to consider it. Shortly after getting my... obsession, a circus came to town and one of the sideshow performers was ‘The Infernal Hay-Burner’. Watching what she did with fire amazed me... I begged mom and dad to let me run away with the circus for a summer job. And so, I wound up understudying under Hay-Burner. It was my first taste, no pun intended, at learning how fire could be controlled instead of fought. She didn’t so much as play with fire but harness it to entertain others, and I learned enough about the trade to actually be asked to come back when I was older and maybe finish my training as a full performer.”
“You’re definitely going to wow the audience with your act, Firestormer,” Grapes said with a grin. “Now let me find a bottle of good stuff you can use, and let’s see what happens.”
“Well it certainly would be an improvement in flavor, that’s for sure. This stuff tastes like it must’ve been strained through the inside of an old saddle.”
“What can I say? I care for the well-being of my friends... Hm... If we’re going to get Earshot started in school, he’s going to need to meet Cheerilee.”
“Really? Um... so, does the schoolmarm KNOW Earshot is ‘different’?”
“I don’t know, honestly,” Grapes said. “You remember the maroon filly with the pinkish mane? Rather unrelentingly cheerful?”
“Yeah I remember seeing her around town. Has flowers on her keister? Would have thought her a florist instead of a teacher.”
“Cheerilee has this rather... broad interpretation of her cutie mark, Firestormer,” Grapes said with a grin. “But she’s really rather good at being a teacher.”
“Well if you say she’s ok then I won’t worry about Earshot too much. Um... can I make a suggestion? Maybe put him in some clothes before introducing him. Might help draw her focus to the similarities he has with other ponies.” he toed the dirt with his hoof and sighed. “The little guy needs all the help he can get for a smooth transition on here. First time at school can be rough on the unprepared.”
“Don’t I know it. I’m planning on checking with Rarity. She may have something we can use,” Grapes said thoughtfully. “Also... he’s probably going to need a legal guardian to vouch for him, too.”
“I... I would do it but... he’s been more of a little brother to me than a son, really. I think if this teacher is as good as you’re implying she’d pick up on that pretty quickly.”
“She more than likely would. She’s just that good, and tends to know when the rod or the carrot is needed,” Grapes observed. “Though some foals have protection from the aforementioned rod... Well I’m heading into town, to check up on Rarity, and see if she’s got something useful for short-notice. You and the others decide who’s going to be the go-to guardian of our favorite little Night Pony.”
“We'll have that sorted out by the time you get back with him.”
Grapes had never seen Rarity so apologetic in her life. In her words, Earshot was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something different and she was in no condition to give him a proper outfit. She had never even considered the notion of making clothes for a Night Pony or how to make one look more... pony-ish. Still, she didn’t let Earshot “Suffer in the name of fashion.” and dredged her ‘Unclaimed clothing’ closet and discovered a gorgeous colt-sized White suit jacket and accompanying Black shirt with white tie. It was a little larger than Earshot’s frame but with a few cleverly applied pins he wound up looking quite dashing in it.
Apparently the outfit had been bought and paid for but never picked up, so literally Earshot was purchasing it off the rack. An event that, like the Carousel's owner, was definitely a rarity. Grapes thanked Rarity, as they left, feeling that Rarity had earned her bits, even if the outfit was off the rack, as it were. They trotted back to the Vineyard, Grapes eager to see how the Great Debate on who would be the designated guardian had turned out. It should be interesting, but Grapes was willing to volunteer, if they had not reached a decision. Half the time, honestly, it felt like Grapes was, already, the guardian of the whole blasted team.
The group was around the communal dining table in the yard, apparently just winding up the debate. They seemed to have debated their way through three pies and a bucket of chocolate chip cookies before she arrived.
“Simple rule of a committee, lass. Never begin talks when yer hungry otherwise it could go downhill fast.”
“Makes sense to me. I DID feed y’all, before I left, though, I thought,” Grapes said with a smirk. “Looks like all you did was... not save me any pie, OR cookies.”
The subject of the debate had apparently been given the remains of a raisin pie and was far-too enthusiastically licking the plate clean. In moments the dish was scoured nearly clean and the night pony smiled at Grapes from a somewhat less-than clean, purple-stained muzzle.
“We got more, Miss Grapes,” said Sirocco as she opened a small crate at the foot of the table and pulled out a Lemon Meringue pie. “ I simply could not decide on one type of pie from Sugarcube Corner and so I asked them to send one of each flavor over.”
“Aye... we got plenty to go about right now Miss. Glad she went at the end of the day instead of the start or we’d have more than ten,” Squall chuckled.
“Oh.. Kay. Got your suit, Earshot,” Grapes said, lifting the article from her saddlebag. “Why don’t you go and hang it up, so it’ll be neat?”
“Okie Dokie! Miss Rarity did a great job, didn’t she? It’s so beautiful, Miss Grapes.” he said, starting to reach for the pristine white material with his purple-stained hooves.
“...on second thought, I’ll do it,” Grapes said heading into the bunkhouse. “You, young colt, need to wash your hooves.”
“Huh? Ooh... OH! That could have been very bad,” Earshot chuckled looking at the goo on his hooves. “I’ll do that right away.”
“Good lad,” Grapes said, then went on in to take care of putting up the suit.
She heard the steady, dependable gait of Squall enter the bunkhouse behind her. By the time she had hung up the suit in Earshot’s surprisingly sparse closet, he had caught up with her.
“Colts will be colts, eh lass?”
“Yes,” Grapes chuckled. “And some days I feel like I’ve got three colts under the same roof.”
“We all have our moments, but when I became a Stallion I put away all foalish things, Miss Grapes. And that includes the fear of foalishness and the desire to be grown-up.”
“I hear you, Squall. I like the Daring Do series, and that’s written for foals, originally” Grapes observed. “But sometimes, you just have to stop, and try not to facehoof too hard, when they start acting like a trio of hooligans.”
“Aye... but to be honest the fillies are just as bad at times.” he chuckled.
“We’re not whining, we’re complaining,” Grapes said with a grin. “And nice to know that I’m not the only well-read one on this vineyard. Feel free to browse the shelves, during the winter months, if you need reading material.”
“Thank you miss. Me father always stressed me trying to be a well-rounded individual. It’s even in the family motto. Without getting into the old Equestrian, it’s Never stop living, never stop learning, never stop loving.”
“I rather like that one.”
“We’re rather partial to it ourselves. It’s one of the reasons we’re sailors. You go out, see places, meet new personalities and are continually trying out new things.” He looked at the white suit and black shirt hanging up and smiled. “Speaking of which, looks like the lad will be wearing his Sunday best when I take him to meet his new teacher.”
“So you’re going to be acting guardian, hm?” Grapes asked, smiling at Squall. “Because of seniority? I’d have stepped in, if needed. Practically feel like I’m your team’s guardian, already.”
“I think we’ve noticed that on some level. As homey as this all seems to us, to the Ponyvillians we’re still... outsiders I guess. You know, not really residents yet. In that respect you are... somewhat responsible for us. But don’t worry. I doubt we will do anything deliberate to reflect badly upon your family name.”
“Good to know,” Grapes said with a smile.
“I should probably get me good outfit cleaned before then. Wouldn’t look right for him to look so sharp and me looking like I just got keelhauled.”
“Miss Cheerilee wouldn’t mind, but sometimes it’s best to put one’s best hoof forward,” Grapes said patting Squall’s shoulder. “No telling who else may be there.”
“I can understand why the others think I should be his legal guardian. The lad does look to me for advice and whatnot, but still... It’s hard to see meself as the fatherly type. Not that I hate foals or anything like that, y’know.”
“If you did, you wouldn’t get along with Earshot so well,” Grapes observed.
“Do you think I’d make a good father? One day, I mean.”
“I’d have to say yes. Yes you would make a good father, someday. Because you are able to work with a variety of different personalities, and abilities,” Grapes replied. “So you’re ready to deal with anything a foal can throw at you.”
-------=======-------
Grapes approached the Ponyville schoolhouse and only glanced at it briefly before averting her eyes. It wasn’t that it was a BAD schoolhouse. It had a fairly classic construction for a single-room schoolhouse including a little steeple in it for the schoolbell. It was the paint job that always got to her. Whomever was tasked with adding the french curves and hearts to it went above and beyond the call of duty... and good taste. To Sour Grapes it was just too over the top, and like Sugarcube Corner looked less like a building and more like a toy marketed towards young fillies.
Taking a moment to wonder if she was the only one to see it that way she squared her shoulders and entered.
Cheerilee was busy at her desk, no doubt marking tests. The purple mare looked up from her task and apparently glad for the interruption smiled.
“Sour Grapes! What an unexpected surprise, what brings our local winemaker to my school? Did another foal try to buy me a bottle of something in lieu of the more contemporary apple again? I thought we already agreed that they should be gently turned in a less... alcoholic direction for a bribe.” Grapes chuckled, shaking her head.
“No, Cheerilee, thankfully nopony’s tried to buy another bottle of wine from me. Well except Berry Punch, but that’s another story altogether.”
“That’s good to hear. Then again a drink right now sounds almost welcome. I’m grading term papers, they may be short but some of them are simply... well Twilight asked me to introduce to the children that an unknown quantity is usually identified with the letter ‘X’. So in this question I asked them to find ‘X’. You wouldn’t BELIEVE how many just circled the letter and pointed to it with an arrow saying ‘Here it is.’ I worry for their sense of logic... but at least their sense of humor is sharp.” Grapes paused, blinking for a moment, and gave Cheerilee this look .
“You mean to tell me that Twilight convinced you to start these kids on algebra?” Grapes asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“Well not EVERYTHING about algebra. She said... ‘A concept here and there could help give them a leg up later.’ So that’s what I did. Nothing complex, after all the term ‘X Factor’ is bound to be overheard at some point, so at least they understand that X is another way of saying that there is an unknown quantity. I have three fillies who think that ‘The X-Mares’ a nicer term than ‘Blank Flank’... I’ll give them a week before they forget about it though.”
“Well... actually I have another ‘X Factor’ that’s going to be introduced... I have this ten-year-old colt that’s very different, and I thought I’d stop by and warn you beforehand. You see, he’s what is called a Night Pony, and...”
Now it was Cheerilee’s turn to give Sour Grapes that certain look .
“Oh Grapes... Pull the other one, it has bells.”
“I’m serious,” Grapes said. “Note serious face.”
“Really? Come on, Sour Grapes. Do you have any idea how many foals each year I have to patiently explain that there is no Boogiemare, no Zombie Ponies and that there is not now nor ever was such a thing as Night Ponies?”
“Well if you think about it, you’re telling the truth. There is no such thing as the literary Night Ponies. There is, however, a nocturnal species of pegasai that are called ‘Night Ponies’, but they do not steal children, or drink blood, are not immortal, and don’t go ‘poof’ in the sun,” Grapes explained. “They are a bit more omnivorous than your typical pony, though, so I wouldn’t recommend anypony trading lunches with Earshot, once he’s enrolled.”
The Teacher stared at her visitor, the skeptical expression slowly crumbling away to reveal a shocked one beneath.
“You... you ARE serious, aren’t you?” She got up from her desk and slowly walked over to look out the window facing Ponyville. “We actually have a Night Pony in Ponyville? I thought that was a silly rumor, like the time we thought that Celestia was coming to town and she was merely passing by.”
“No, it’s not a rumor. Earshot’s a little different, but he’s a very nice colt. Just don’t ask him what he’s having for lunch,” Grapes quipped with a grin.
“Any particular reason I shouldn’t?” she paused a moment then shook her head. “No wait... maybe I shouldn’t ask you that.”
“Good call,” Grapes said with a grin. “Seriously, though, Earshot’s something of an ambassador for his people. They went into hiding after the whole Nightmare Moon thing, so... They sent Earshot to gage pony’s reactions to someone different.”
“Wait... you mean to tell me they were hiding because they thought all the other ponies would want to take some sort of revenge against them? That’s... actually a good example of forward planning. But to hide for a thousand years? That certainly would explain some of the stories we’ve been coming up with on our own. So... what’s he look like?”
“A little gray colt with a gray coat, yellow slitted eyes, bat-like ears and bat-like wings, ” Grapes said simply.
“Yellow slitted eyes? Like a cat’s? Bat ears and... bat wings. Yes... I can see how that would result in a LOT of stories.”
“Oh yes,” Grapes said with a grin. “And fangs.”
“Fangs?”
“Just small ones. Really.”
“Oh... kay...” the schoolteacher said cautiously. Her mind putting together a rather fearsome image, in spite of Sour Grapes’ best assurances.
“He’s a ten-year-old colt, not some massive monstrosity of nightmarish proportions,” Grapes said soothingly. “Earshot is a kid.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
There was a gentle knock at the door and the two mares turned to see Summer Squall standing there. His shirt was clean and pressed and he was wearing a Dark Jacket that had four yellow stripes on the cuffs. It had never occurred to Grapes that Squall might actually have more rank than the standard sailor... and it was a Royal Equestrian Navy jacket as well. She made a mental note to ask him about it later. She did note that he had removed his hat and was holding it under one foreleg. That was rare, she couldn’t remember him taking his hat off for much more than mealtimes. He was on REALLY good behavior if he was showing this level of respect.
“Ah, begging your pardon Miss Cheerilee, My name is Summer Squall and I am here to... hopefully enroll my young charge in your fine establishment here.”
“Oh, um. Sour Grapes? Is this stallion the legal guardian of the colt you’ve been warn... I mean, telling me about?”
“Yes, Cheerilee, he is,” Grapes said, then leaned close. “Careful with the paperwork, the ink may still be wet. His friends had been giving him a rather eccentric form of home schooling, until he expressed an interest in coming to school.”
“Oh... well yes. Home Schooling isn’t that unusual but as long as he has basic literacy and mathematical skills I can work with that. Is the young... I mean did you bring Earshot with you?”
“Aye Miss. He’s just out here on the front stoop. Come along lad. Smartly now.”
“Uh... I’m caught on a nail and I don’t want to just...”
“I’ll give you a hoof with that. Pardon me Miss. Just a wardrobe malfunction. Won’t be but a moment.”
Squall turned and took half a step out the door to give Earshot a hand, meanwhile Grapes became aware of the teacher taking very deep nervous breaths. If she didn’t know any better, Grapes could have sworn that...
“So... all those years telling the foals that there’s no such thing as the nightmarish Night Ponies, it wasn’t the foals you were trying to convince, hm?” Grapes asked with a smirk.
“A... a little. It’s silly I know it’s just...”
She trailed off as Summer Squall entered with Earshot at his side. The colt was wearing the suit that Rarity had selected for him and here under the light of day and in the cheerful environment of the classroom all things dark and sinister had boiled away, leaving just Earshot behind. There was a moment of silence, then Squall placed a hoof on Earshot’s shoulder.
“Go ahead lad. Introduce yourself.”
“Hullo Miss Cheerilee. My name is Earshot and I would really like to learn more about Equestria and the world... that is... if it’s alright with you?”
“Oh... my.. gosh... He’s so CUTE!”
It was all Grapes could do to not collapse laughing.
“Just look at him! The little suit and tie and shirt... and so polite. Is he always polite?”
“Yes, actually,” Grapes casually.
“Oh my gosh. A polite colt. That’s hard to find... and you’re not even remotely creepy! I -
I didn’t mean to imply that you would be. It’s just...”
“It’s ok Miss Cheerilee. I’ve read all of the Night Pony books. I know how we’re remembered... even if some of the stories had stuff I really didn’t understand. Are there really ponies who turn into giant wolves?”
“No, they’re as made up as vamponies, Earshot,” Grapes replied.
“I see I have my work cut out for me, don’t I?”
“Yes Miss Cheerilee?”
“Oh he IS polite. I can’t really have you with the younger foals but I do have a class after they leave for older colts and fillies. They’ll be more around your age... you are about ten, right?”
“As best we can figure... living in a cavern can mess up your perception of passage of time. We just say ten... give or take.”
“A cavern? Why...? No, I’m sure you’ll explain when I introduce you to the others. Now before this, is there any particular lessons you’d like me to try to work into the curriculum?”
“Well I’d like to know everything!”
“You and me both kid. But seriously... what sort of things do you know already?”
“Not a lot. I mean the ponies I work with have taught me some neat stuff like, geography, cartography, fire safety, weather formation, I can read and write six languages outside of my own, arithmetic, cold weather survival, xenozoology, herbology, various theologies of Saddle Arabia, cooking...”
“Stop, stop, stop... does he really know all of that?” Cheerilee asked, looking over at where Squall and Grapes now stood together.
“Well now, he did have a firm grasp of his letters and numbers when he left his home.
Since then he fell in with us at the Royal Equestrian Rogue Weather Bureau and well... in the lulls we’ve been teaching him whatever we had to share. The little fellow’s quite eager to learn whatever you throw at him.”
“He’s also learned grape cultivation, varieties of wine grapes, the difference between wine grapes and table grapes, and some basics of fermentation chemistry, along with the process of winemaking from the grape to the bottle, some basic farming techniques for melons and strawberries and the effects of hypersonics upon the rodent and lapine ear,” Grapes added.
“Hypersonics? How...” she took a moment to think about it. “Those ears are for more than keeping the top of your head from flying off, aren’t they?”
“I never thought of it like that but, yeah. I guess you could say that. Like all night ponies I can ‘see’ the world just with my voice... and I can hear really good too. Listening is my special talent.”
“Oh my. That is a talent to be proud of. Okay, Earshot. My class for older foals begins the day after Nightmare Night. Will you be ready for it?”
“YES! I mean.. um... yes.”
“Oh so eager too! I’ll give your guardian a list of materials you will want to bring with you. Nothing fancy, just pens, notebooks, rulers.. the usual.”
“Aye. I’m certain I have some of that laying about in me bunk.. I mean my room.”
“And if not, I probably have some in my house,” Grapes said. “Any other equipment? Protractor, compass, abacus, stuff like that, needed?”
Cheerilee began going through her desk and pulled out a small blue sheet of paper.
“It should all be right here. It’s fairly standardised stuff, useful up until you realise that some ponies only think a compass is for carving their name in the desk tops.”
“I thought it was for drawing accurate curves, miss Cheerilee.”
“He IS a bright one. All right then. I guess I’ll be seeing you after Nightmare Night Earshot. I hope we both enjoy this new experience.”
“I will. Thank you miss Cheerilee.”
Once Squall had lead Earshot from the schoolhouse, only then did Cheerilee look back at Grapes, and smiled.
“And to think of the bits my parents spent sending me to foal psychiatrists to alleviate my fears. If I knew Night Ponies were so... pony-like I’d never have feared them in the first place.”
“It’s been over a thousand years since they’ve been around, Cheerilee. I’m sure they’re all ponylike,” Grapes said with a smile. “It IS the victors that write history, after all, and if my research into that time period is correct, our dear departed ancestors may have been a bit vengeful toward any creature that would look like it would benefit from eternal night.”
“Perhaps I should consider working something about preconceived notions into my curriculum.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Ponies would benefit from learning that stereotypes are not a good thing,” Grapes said with a nod. “Especially from an early age.”
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Giggle Guffaw and Grimace With Grapes
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As Normal As Ponyville Gets
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The Winter of Our Content
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Time For Family and Friends
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A Long Dark To A New Year
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The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Life is What Happens When You're Buying Plants
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Guess Who's Coming to Fodder
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The Gala and Other Happenings
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Everything is gonna turn out O-Chaos
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Great Expectations, and Unwanted Ones Too
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A Journey of Thousand Smiles
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Defying Gravity and Cavities
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How to Herd Pegasai... Or Not...
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Okay. Everypony gather around, and I’ll tell y’all a story.
“Once upon a time, a humble earth pony winemaker met the daughter of a wealthy and powerful unicorn family. They became friends, then lovers, courted, and married… much to the dismay of the unicorn’s family. The unicorn’s mother even went so far as to disown the hapless filly. The unicorn’s brother was angered by the decision, but the matron’s will was like iron.
And so the Unicorn chose to live with the Earth Pony upon his vineyard, and for many years they were very happy. Then one day, they had a daughter. When she was delivered, her father made an amusing comment on how she looked like she’d tasted something sour… Just as the nurse was asking for a name.
The Earth Pony’s name is Champagne Grapes. His family had owned Grapevine Hills Winery and Vineyard for generations. The unicorn’s name is Champagne Diamond. Her family was in the gemstone trade, among other things. She gave up a life of wealth and stature for a life filled with love.
And that is, very briefly, the story of how my parents met, and how I came into the world.”
And just so you know, the Grapes family is an offshoot of the Apple family, as are the Oranges. And that’s how an Earth Pony can have a unicorn for a cousin.
Oh, and -heh- the Pears are distant relations.. a batch of nere-do-wells at most of their endevors. Hence the term "Things have gone pear-shaped."
The Sour Grapes Chronicles
Interlude - Calamity's Aftermath
Grapes lit the oil lamp at her kitchen table before sitting down with pen and paper. Twilight was upstairs tucked into her bed, in a fitful sleep. Magical stress from overtaxing yourself usually included some horrific nightmares, something Grapes herself remembered from when she was trying to work out her own magical talents. She only used the one lamp because, one: It saved on oil, and two: She didn't want to risk waking up Twilight unless she had to. Poor mare had nearly turned her horn into a burnt-out matchstick with her caffeinated antics. Taking a deep breath, Grapes centered herself. She needed to focus when writing, after all she did it as earth ponies did. By Lip-service. Well she could both lip-write, and horn write. Just depended upon how much 'heavy lifting' she had been doing with her limited magic any given day. She checked her reserves, and figured she could go with hornwriting for a bit, the much neater option to be sure.
Now how to open this letter? 'Dear' could be too familiar, but she didn't want to go too formal, unless it was for humorous purposes. So "Most Radiant, and Glorious Monarch of the Sun, Princess Celestia" was right out. "To the Mare that is so tough that she can bench-press giant balls of fire" ? Grapes giggled, and mentally edited "Mare" to "Princess". Perhaps a little much, but Celestia did say that it was nice to hear from someone who was obviously NOT sucking up to her for a favor. She giggled and took a sip of her glass of Summer Sunrise Wine and continued.
"I thought I should bring you up-to-date on the activities of everypony's favorite under-sung national heroes, and their danger-prone little hometown of Ponyville. We have had a VERY interesting day."
Interesting being an understatement. No doubt her Royal Vizier, Guarity, was still shuffling through facts in an attempt to work out what happened down here today. Where to begin... well first person experiences usually are best done in chronological order. Her mind flickered back to when the FIRST Sonic rainboom knocked her clean on her flank.
"I was taking some time off to do a little light reading, when I heard a loud 'BOOM' cut through the air, knocking me on my flank. It was more than a little startling, especially when I was expecting a relatively quiet afternoon. Running of the Leaves was LAST week, along with that ridiculous Iron Pony competition, so I figured we were due for some quiet. I guess I was wrong.
Anyway, I look up, and see Rainbow Dash flying through the air at top speed. She then executed a sonic rainboom. Then another, and another."
She took a moment to close her eyes and remember how amazing all of those rings looked going off, slamming into one another and... blending like a child's watercolors. She wished she were more artistic so she could draw or paint a picture to commemorate the event.
"It looked amazing. There are absolutely no words, even in my vast vocabulary to describe the shimmering rings of rainbow colors blending together like ripples in a pond. But I was wondering how she was able to do sequential rainbooms. The stresses upon her body had to be terrific.
I ended up in a conversation with my cousin, Applejack, and she seemed sure that Rainbow Dash was practicing, and would be all right. I wasn't so sure about that, but what happened next sort of shocked the concern for Dash from my head, and replaced it with concern for Applejack. She was hauling what looked like over two-hundred pounds of apples in the Apple Family's large wagon."
The ludicrous details of the day came back to her much faster now that she had the quiet time to think about them. So far it seemed that nopony else in town had been hurt during the events but many were fairly shaken.
"I tried to follow Applejack, but even with half a ton of apples and a wagon, she still outdistanced me. Either I was really out-of-shape, or something else was going on. I decided that I should see Twilight Sparkle, because it would be good to get somepony else's insight into these events, when I was startled by a group of stallions running by in a panic... Followed by a very assertive Fluttershy. Apparently she was herding the stallions to be cared for... I am still not sure why, to be honest."
The truth was she did have a FEW tangible theories, but she really didn't want to embarrass Fluttershy by being the one to start spreading them. There was a time to be honest, then a time to be honest up to a point. They were, at this point, more hypotheses than anything. She had no proof, or anything other than her on conjecture to support them. But Princess Celestia did not need to know Grapes' speculative ponderings.
"It was then I was greeted by the distorted voice of Twilight Sparkle. I was, almost, afraid to look, and when I did, I quickly found my fears justified. There she was, surrounded by a magical nimbus, looking twitchy, and (to be absolutely honest) overloaded on arcane energy. I asked her how she was. And she told me that she'd been introduced to a new way of looking at things. The magical harmonics of everything was laid out like an open book. She could, she asserted, see the universe.
Our dear Twilight won't be living that down any time soon.
I hastily came up with a plan to get her, and the rest of the Element Bearers to the vineyard, to keep an eye on them."
In retrospect maybe she should have tied a string to Twilight, like Moondust did. It was a rather simple yet ingenious solution to having her drift off... in more ways than the figurative. Still... personal levitation was perhaps one of the least bizarre things she saw that day.
"I was able to persuade Twilight to make her way to the vineyard, when Rarity showed up. Have you ever had a fashion designer spontaneously use an awning to make you a new outfit? It's... slightly frightening. Mind you the outfit looked rather smart on me, but it took me awhile to get it off, because Rarity forgot to include little things like fasteners on the blasted thing. Strangely she seemed to be inspired by our going about without clothes, for some reason...
Anyway, she went off to play dress-up with other ponies, and I continued on my way to find Applejack. Instead I found a pile of apples. I helped rescue Apple Bloom from the appleanche, and discovered that Applejack had already gone back to Sweet Apple Acres. I decided to head back to the Vineyard to check on Twilight, and get Stormy to rescue Rainbow Dash from becoming one with the landscape when I noticed Pinkie Pie sitting quietly, drinking tea at a local Cafe."
That in itself STILL gave Grapes the willies. It was the complete lack of motion in the hyperkinetic pony that was truly disturbing. She had a feeling her own dreams were going to be VERY interesting tonight. Probably involving mad tea parties where the pink hostess was still as a statue.
"It was disconcerting to say the least. I had never seen Pinkie Pie that still. Ever. That was when I was given an explanation as to what had happened. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack accompanied Twilight to the local Clinic to get their flu shots. And they all had one cup of the complementary tea. Just one problem. The tea wasn't so complementary. It was a sample of a tea that Redline came up with to give himself extra energy. A blend of the four most caffeinated teas in existence."
A giggle rose up her throat as she imagined Princess Celestia if she were to drink such a tea. She was, after all, a notorious tea-aficionado and might risk trying some. She had a mental image of the sun rising and setting so fast it would be like a big yellow streak of light in the sky. She just had to trust that she wouldn't be so foalish as to try the caffeinated horror that was Redline Tea.
"The sample was intended to see just HOW strong Redline liked his tea... And he ended up getting a lesson in what would happen if the uninitiated had gotten their hooves on the stuff. After all, I did tell him that he was courting a heart-attack, when I discovered his blend, a while back. He has a younger sister, and he needs to be there for her.
Thankfully I caught Fluttershy en route to add Big Mac to her herd. And managed to marshal the troops to save Rainbow Dash from becoming Rainbow Crash, roundup Rarity, and persuade Applejack and Pinkie Pie to join their friends at the Vineyard. Twilight, of course, was already there, being kept from floating away by Moondust and a bit of cleverly applied yarn."
She paused a moment to make a mental note to untie that yarn from Twilight tomorrow. It was just leaving it on her and tying the other end to the bedpost gave Grapes a sensation of comfort. She knew it was silly but she was worried Twilight might have a relapse and drift out the window.
"Well that's about it. Doctor Crabapple noted that they were all exhausted, and will probably be sore. Naturally they will need rest and liquids. Twilight, as you can probably guess, is suffering from Extreme Magical Exhaustion. I have her tucked up in my guest room, and will keep her here, until she recovers. She's a good pony, and as her friend, I'll help her get better. Just wish somepony else was in charge of that clinic. The doctor, quite frankly, was utterly careless."
She did the mental arithmetic in her head about the size of an average teacup and the volume of the average Teapot, coming to the conclusion that six Ponies would have just about finished a full pot off. So hopefully there weren't any other ponies out there who were forced to go on a Caffeinated bender. Although it might have been interesting to see how each pony she knew would have reacted to the sudden burst of uncontrollable energy.
"All in all the damage was fairly minimal, and every pony involved will have recovered in the next week or two. However the doctor at the clinic should be replaced with somepony more competent. May I suggest Doctor Crabapple? Sure he'll be grouchy about it, but in the end, he'll be helping more ponies, and saving others from another caffeinated calamity. Well that's what's been happening here. I hope this missive finds you in good health.
Your Reasonably Faithful Subject,
Sour Grapes."
The next morning after Sour Grapes wrote her missive, she put it into an envelope, and made ready to go out, and fetch Spike and Twilight's owl... whatever its name was. She put the letter into her saddle bag, did a quick check on Twilight, to make sure that she wasn't going anywhere, and to untie that yarn, of course. She decided to pick up Spike, first, so she'd have someone to talk to, in the line at the Post Office, since she needed to get stamps.
"Heya Miss Grapes." Earshot said, squeezing out from under her front porch. "Where you off to?"
"Just going into town... Er... what were you doing under there?" Grapes asked, curiously.
"Clearing out a nest of mice that were trying to move in. They kinda got the idea after I stared at them for a minute and slunk off... then I had breakfast and found some neat stuff like a jar full of bottlecaps."
"A jar full of bottlecaps?" Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder who put it there? Anyway, keep an ear on Twilight, okay? No solids. And get Stormy to fix some soup for her if I'm not back by lunch."
"Okie dokie." He held up the jar and gave it a shake. "Can I keep them? They're neat."
"I don't see why not. They're some young colt's lost treasure, I'm sure. They probably grew up and forgot about them," Grapes said, as she trotted down the front steps. "I'm sure it'll be nice for them to be somepony else's treasure for a while."
"I'll be back, soon, Earshot. Just going to pick up Spike, and Twilight's pet owl. Don't think they should be left alone at the library," Grapes said, as she headed to town. She wasn't sure what Earshot would DO with all the bottlecaps but he seemed interested by them and maybe that would be enough. And she deliberately kept the notion of what Earshot could possibly find for 'breakfast' under her porch's floor joists, out of her head. She passed Sweet Apple Acres and saw AJ draped over Big Mac's back. Her legs were well bandaged but she had a firm look of determination as he carried her about.
"Heya Cousin... Get me closer, Big Mac. What you all up and about for?"
"I need to go and pick up Spike and that owl. Can't remember it's name, though. Then pick up some stamps and mail a letter."
"Yeah... I have trouble remembering her Night-assistant too. Funny name.... Owl... Owlicious?" Applejack mused.
"That sounds like a griffon snack... Close though... Maybe Owlawishes?" suggested Grapes.
"Sounds better. Doc told me Ah had to take it easy but ah gotta see what ah messed up yesterday when Ah was all whacked-out on wowie-tea." her voice dropped aleve as she grumbled "Cain't believe some durn maniac drinks that stuff regularly."
"He's supposed to be being weaned off it," Grapes observed. "And off hoof, I'd say the big wagon, and possibly the stall. That's about it. Unless you bucked some trees to oblivion."
"That's what ah'm worried about. Big Macintosh here says that other than the silos being full t'burstin' from a season's wrap-up bein' done in one day ah have not a lot to worry about. But Ah'll believe that with my own eyes. Giddyup bro. Let's get to lookin' over them orchards,” Applejack said with typical determination.
“Eyup,” Macintosh said with his usual eloquence.
"You ARE supposed to be resting, you stubborn mule of a pony... no offence to mules, of course," Grapes uttered, with an aside remembering that there other species aside ponies living in the ever inaccurately named town of Ponyville.
"None Taken," said the local Mule, who was taking a cartload of flowers to the local florist.
"Love really IS stranger... ANYway you're supposed to be resting. And that would include letting somepony ELSE worry about the damage you did to the orchard. YOU'VE got to recover from the damage you did to yourself," Grapes admonished her dear cousin. "Don't make me sic Crabby on you."
"NO!" Applejack cried before calming down. "Ah mean, Ah'm just doing a look-see. Nothin' serious. Not like ah can do much else until the strained muscles in mah legs stop hurtin' nohow. It's just hard to get sleep when you start gettin' cramps in yer legs at random times."
"All right. I can understand that... I'm just going to get Spike to help keep an eye on that silly purple mare. All that talk about pacing herself, and what does she go and do?" Grapes griped with a roll of her eyes.
"If she was feelin' the way I did then she probably had no choice in the matter," Applejack observed.
"Maybe. She could have tried running it off, too... Oh well. I've got a dragon, and owl to pick up. You take it easy, or you know what I'll do."
"All right! All right! Don't tell Crabapple ah'm skirtin' his rules. Ah'll head back to the house right after ah get a look at things.... heck, Applebloom probably will have the' bathtub full of ice by then."
"Good to hear. Maybe I should check up on the others. If they're anything like you, their families have their hooves full," Grapes uttered, as she trotted into Ponyville proper. Ponyville seemed to be rather resilient, having weathered this latest micro-crisis in fine form. Sure there was a lack of Fabric awnings about but there were a number of ponies showing off their new 'outfits' and laughing at the memory of Rarity's efforts. Sugarcube Corner seemed to be in good shape, and Pinkie Pie was actually outside in a wheelchair, sucking down a large strawberry milkshake and happily surrounded by balloons and get-well bouquets.
She waved to Grapes and grinned "Hieeeee!"
"Hey, Pinkie. How ya doin'?" Grapes said detouring toward Sugarcube Corner.
"Oh I'm good for the most part. I kinda feel like that feeling you get when you whack your crazybone good and you tingle in a way that smarts, but instead it's like a full-body crazy-bone whacking. The Cakes were nice enough to let me sit out here while I recover. They even found an old Wheelchair I could use in the back shed. Turns out I'm pretty good with one of these things. Wanna see me do a wheelie?"
"Ah... no. You ARE supposed to be resting. Not doing wheelies," Grapes said. "And I'm supposed to be picking up Spike and Owlawishes to help keep Twilight company."
"Ooh.. Let me come with you." she said pushing the chair from in front of the shop, the Balloons tied to the back bobbing happily... and a peculiar purple one 'peeked out' from the mass.
Grapes looked up at the purple balloon, and smirked. "Man, Twilight's NOT going to be living that down any time soon."
"You like it?" Pinkie said nudging the strings with her nose to reveal the comical Twilight-ish balloon that bobbed there on the end of a red length of yarn. "Moondust gave it to me. Said I probably needed it more than she did... like a Get-well party in one balloon. I think I remember something like this from yesterday... but I didn't find it funny then. Hmf."
Grapes laughed merrily. "I should ask Redline to make another one, and send it to Princess Celestia."
Pinkie's face nearly split in half from the grin "OOOOOOH! Do it! Do it! Do it! Princess Celestia must have all kinds of bad surprises in her life, this would be a GOOD one!"
"I should totally get one for Twilight, too. That'll learn Little Miss 'I can see the universe' not to drink strange beverages in a doctor's office," Grapes chuckled.
Pinkie coverd her mouth with her forehooves while she wriggled her hindlegs in giggling glee. "Yesyesyesyesyesyes! Oh that would be such a funny prank. An no pony gets hurt too."
"All right. I'll do both. It MIGHT cheer up Princess Celestia to get the balloon, after receiving my letter... And it just might cheer up Twilight," Grapes said, giggling, as she headed to the Library. "Get well, Pinkie."
"Oh.. ok. I'm going to wheel over to Rarity's place. I hear she's strained her horn a little. Not like twilight but she's got the curtains closed and is taking the day off."
"Has she gotten the bill for the awnings, yet?" Grapes asked.
"Not yet. But I did hear her mumble something about a new line of Designer Awnings."
Grapes giggled. "Maybe that'll make up for her using the awnings of others as material. True the outfits are going to be pretty durable, but she forgot to sew buttons on mine... Okay. Pick up Spike, and the Owl, and go to the post office. Priorities, Grapes..."
"Byeee!"
"Bye, Pinkie. Say hi to the Fashion Crusader for me."
"I will!" Pinkie rolled the chair off in the other direction, the small cloud of balloons following in her wake. Grapes trotted over to the Library, glad to know that Pinkie Pie, and Rarity was doing well. Applejack was doing as well as she could. But then Applejack will be Applejack.
Knocking on the door, it creaked open revealing the familiar Purple/green form of Spike who seemed slightly disappointed. "Oh. Hey Sour Grapes."
"Hey, Spike. Came by to pick you, and Owlawishes up. Twilight's staying at my place, 'cause she ended up with a bad case of Extreme Magical Exhaustion."
"OH! So that's why she didn't come home yesterday. Usually she tells me if she's headed out somewhere... or leaves a note,” Spike replied, looking a bit relieved.
"She wasn't herself, yesterday, after she went to the doctor's office," Grapes explained.
"So she's got Magical Exhaustion? Let me check the big list a moment." He opened a drawer and pulling out a long list, let it unroll as he skimmed it. "Ahah! I knew she had a plan for this. Ok... Kit number 27. Right."
"What?"
The young dragon put the scroll back into the drawer and went to a closet near the door and opened it up, revealing it was pigeon-holed and full of modest-sized satchels with little tags hanging from them. He stood on a stool and read them off. "Oh Twilight is pretty prepared for a lot of different events. In case she has to run out the door at a moment's notice she can just grab and go. Twenty-seven... twenty seven.... Let's see... Kit Fourteen: Sudden Meteor Shower observation kit... Kit Thirty One: Celestia summoned you to the castle for an important spell... Kit Twenty Five: Rainbow Dash has fallen down the well... AHA! Kit Number Twenty-Seven: In case of Severe Magical Exhaustion and staying at a friend's house during recovery. See attached note."
"I've heard of crazy-prepared, but that's just silly. Oh, we're stopping by the post office, too. I need some stamps so I can send this letter to Princess Celestia," Grapes said pulling out her envelope.
"Sure,” the dragon said reading the attached note as he listened. "You want me to save you the trip?"
"I'll still need stamps for other letters," Grapes said. "But you want to send the letter directly? It's just a rundown of what happened yesterday."
Pulling the Kit out he set it by the door and started upstairs. "Be right back, I gotta get something... by the way what DID happen yesterday?"
"I'll start the explanation when you get back, Spike."
Spike came back after a minute with a large and obviously home-made quilt, a well-used pillow and, she could have sworn there was an old stuffed doll of some sort peeking out between the folds of the quilt. "Her kit told me to grab some comfort items like her favorite pillow and her Flu-Quilt."
"'Flu-Quilt'?" Grapes asked, using her levitation field to fold said quilt and drape it over her back. "I'm just one pony. How are we going to get this stuff to the Vineyard?"
"Hey I might not be big but I can pull my own weight you know," Spike said sounding a little insulted. "There's a reason Twilight keeps me around as her assistant..."
"I'm sure, but I didn't want to overtax you. You're going to be a guest, and sort of helping me keep an eye on little miss 'I can see the universe'," Grapes explained.
"Well... ok. I do have a little red wagon we can use," the young dragon said, gesturing to a nearby closet.
"Alright. Looks like we're not going to the post office, after all... Now where's the flying feather duster?"
"Oh. Him... He's in his nook taking a nap. He takes care of Twi's night stuff. I'll leave him a note where we are and to join us after dark."
"Right," Spike said as he grabbed a quill and paper and sat down to write. He was rather quick, and she had to admire his tidy style of writing. He finished up, then folded up the paper, wrote the owl's name on it and put it on the podium. After a moment of thought he then put a large paperweight on it. "Last thing we need is some kind of plot twist where it blows under a sofa or something."
"Plot twist?" Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Sorry... Twilight had me reading this book on story structure and how many stories follow similar rules. Like how the plot of a story can turn just because of a lost object."
"... Well yeah, our lives do seem to follow story structure, don’t they?" Grapes observed, with a laugh.
"Yeah. Ponyville's weirdness sounds a lot like someone's trying to keep readers from getting bored or something." Spike paused and looked at Grapes then laughed. "Yeah right! Who here could possibly be interesting enough to be the protagonist? There are just too many ponies for that to happen."
"Yeah, you're right. Heh. It wouldn't be me , that's for sure," Grapes chuckled. "Well we'd best be off. I can get stamps another time. Here. Go ahead and send this."
"Watch and be amazed!" Spike announced, taking the letter with a flourish and exhaling flame upon it, sending it forth into the aether. "That was just in case I'M the main character."
"Yeah, but if you’re the main character, you don't seem to get much narration time, now do you?" Grapes quipped. Spike gave Grapes this look and retrieved his wagon, putting the kit, and it’s accoutrements into it. The unusual duo left the library, heading for Grapevine Hills, while Grapes told the story of how a sextet of over-caffeinated ponies could make a day excessively interesting.
