High School Equestria

by iEatIdiots

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1185

Your favourite ponies are now humanised teenagers in a high school. With a childish, video-game-obsessed principal, an always-off-in-tangents physics teacher, and exploding balloons; hilarity and shipping ensures.

It's the Mane Six's sophomore year at the "founded-three-years-ago" Equestria High. Luna the principal, the younger sister of Twilight's mentor Celestia, has been just as obsessed with gaming as ever (even going as far to holding a "Video Game Week"), the physics teacher Dr Whooves never gets to the point in his classes, and Octavia doesn't understand why that pianist keeps calling her "George" or "Amandine", depending on the day.

The Mane Six face problems at high school as well – why did Pinkie suddenly have straight hair? Why is Applejack so frustrated all of a sudden? What's worrying Dash so much about the Wonderbolts audition? Why does shooting zombies in the head suddenly become FUN? Why does Angel Bunny suddenly want to act out Shakespeare with all the other pets? And who is that girl with Fancypants?

Cover art was made by me.

WARNING: This story contains a heck load of shipping, and it's in a high school environment, so pairings might change and alter throughout the story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-25 07:10:02 UTC

Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE:

Luna always had an intense dislike to the day before the first day of term. It was the day when she stuffed files into folders, folders into cabinets, cabinets into offices. It was the day when she had to put on a decent pair of sneakers and run around the campus, checking if everything was perfect. It was the day when there was absolutely no time for a decent video game. It was the day when dread and excitement seemed to entwine themselves together in a tight, unbreakable knot.

It was Luna’s third year of being principal, her third year of this school, her third year of this routine.  It was her third year of welcome speeches and assemblies and writing reports.

After four hours of filing, sending cleaners off, and running around like a maniac, the indigo-haired woman finally had gotten everything underway. Thanking all the people who have helped, she locked the school gate and headed off.

“Glad you could’ve come, Luna,” the ditzy blonde avian removed another tray of muffins from the oven. Carrying the tray over to the dinner table, she pulled off her mitts, and sat down. “Carrot Top’s too busy travelling the world with her partner on one of his book-signing tours, so she doesn’t visit as often anymore.”

Luna nommed one of those delicious golden bakeries down. “I wouldn’t have missed it. Today’s been extremely hectic, with admin-responsibilities and what-not.” She paused to pick another muffin up. “I’m glad Celestia won’t ever cut back on school funding – she’s honestly loves the school.”

Derpy nodded, but made no comment. Celestia was the mayor of the town, head of the Board of Education in their state, and held many more prestigious positions. The mailwoman always wondered how Luna’s sister could have so many jobs, all of them requiring the ability to suffer through paperwork. After a thought, she opened her mouth, but what came out was an irrelevant “Sparkler’s starting high school tomorrow.”

Thankfully, her principal friend didn’t see it as such. “Oh, is she? That’s great! Maybe I’ll finally get her into video games this year, provided it doesn’t hinder her work!”

Sparkler has never liked video games, Derpy thought, and said nothing.

“And your husband, Dr Turner? He’s our new physics teacher. Wait, that was supposed to be a surprise for Sparkler when she walks into the science classroom. Don’t tell her I said that, alright?”

“He’s very brilliant at what he does,” Derpy said shyly. “My lips are sealed.“

The two talked on about other subjects for about an hour.

“We’re home!” Time Turner entered the house, followed by a teenager and a pre-teen girl. He scrolled through a few notifications on his phone, checked the two watches on his right wrist, then turned to the dining room. “I was going to take the girls for a trip around town, but then Dinky found Pipsqueak, and Sparkler reminded me that she had Taekwondo practise. It was also raining, so we couldn’t get home until exactly six forty-three. But now I’m here, and I smell that you have baked banana and blueberry muffins! Hello Luna, I apologise for not greeting you earlier.”

“Apology accepted, Turner,” Luna said.

“Doctor!” Derpy leapt out of her seat and flung her arms around her husband. He stretched out his arms, hugging her back.

Dinky had ignored the affectionate display in the middle of the room; she instead walked over to the table to grab a muffin. “Hi, Miss Luna,” she mumbled through a mouthful of muffin, choking in the process. “How are you today?”

“Hey, Ms Luna,” Sparkler thumped her younger sister in the back to make sure that the muffin went down the right way. “Had a good day today?”

Luna turned to the girls’ direction, giving them a small smile. “Hello to both of you,” she said. She glanced at the still-hugging-couple’s feet, noticing a brightly coloured poster. Dinky must have noticed it too, immediately jumping onto the ground to retrieve it. The paper fluttered in her small hands.

Grabbing the poster off her sister, Sparkler smoothened it out, placing it on the dinner table. The three crowed around to read it. Derpy and Time Turner, who had broken the hug, also gathered around the table with them.

UNTITLED ANNUAL SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION

The unoriginal title of the poster was in a simplistic, futuristic font. Below stood a list of dates, franchises and directions on how to get tickets. Robots, spaceships and War of the Worlds inspired Martians covered the empty spaces. And was that a … Dalek cowering behind the second ‘a’ of ‘annual’?

Luna let out a not so professional squee at the poster, pulling out her phone to take a snapshot for future reference.

“Sounds great, huh?” Turner directed to the rest of the group. “I’m going to see if I can get tickets for it this year. Sci-fi is a fantastic genre.”

Derpy’s crossed eyes widen, reminiscing about those high school days when the two would watch Star Wars marathons on repeat, chatter endlessly on the question to 42, and speculate whether hoverboards would be available to the general public by 2015.

“I tried reading Sparkler’s copy of Brave New World,” Dinky said. “It was confusing.” Dinky couldn’t get her mind around how being a mother would be bad, and how the decanting process worked.

“That’s dystopia, not science fiction,” Sparkler pointed out. “The Hunger Games is also dystopia, but you wouldn’t call it science fiction.”

The youngest member of the Whooves-Turner family had nothing to say in retort.

“Dinky watches Doctor Who with us!” Derpy injected. “If that’s not sci-fi, then what is?”

“Will there be a Doctor Who place in the convention thing, Dad?” Dinky turned to her father.

“The longest running TV show that surrounds aliens and time travel?” Turner bent down to the same level as his younger daughter. “I’ll let you decide on that one.” He gave her a childish grin before standing back up.

There was a brief period of silence, before Derpy broke it. “Are you going to stay for dinner, Luna? We haven’t made dinner yet, but you’re always welcome to stay for it!”

Luna let out an awkward laugh. “I’ll love to, but my sister has an important guest over, so she’s expecting me at home tonight.”

“Okay!” Derpy’s smiling expression didn’t falter. “Wait, Luna! It’s raining! Are you sure you’ll be okay in the weather?”

“I GOT AN UMBRELLA!” Sparkler yelled, pulling out a long purple umbrella that matched her hair. “You are VERY welcome to use it.”

Meanwhile, halfway across town, two figures hid behind a couch, giggling and chuckling to themselves.

“When do you think she’ll get back?” Celestia twiddled her thumbs anxiously, peeping over the couch to glance at the door.

“Hopefully soon. The cold milk would get warm and that may or may not affect the silly string.” Her partner stuffed popcorn into his mouth.

“It has to work! Giving her a fright would be hilarious, Discord.” Celestia grabbed a fistful of popcorn of him.