The Great Multiverse Theory: Repairs and Recordings

A lone shack stood on its own, sandwiched between large apartments and loud restaurants. A middle aged man of average height with slightly shaggy hair in a hoodie and black sweatpants walks casually down the dark street, carrying a briefcase. He glances up and smiles at the bright moon hanging in the sky. As he passes by an alley towards said shack, a shadow moves out towards him, carrying a knife and a bat. The man frowned, pulling a rust yellow alarm clock out of his pocket, and activated the alarm. The world blurred for a moment.

The man walked out of the alley, adjusting his tie and flicking blood off his fingers. “Why that guy was even here...” he shook his head. “Ah well. At least he’s retcon-able. Pretty embarrassing for the Janitor to have to walk away from that.” The Janitor turned around and pulled out a small tube. With a flick, it expanded into a large broom. He pointed the bristles end at the alley and sucked all the matter in the alley, leaving a white tear in the space. He glanced blankly at a dismembered hand that fell out the railing of a nearby balcony. A blue collar was wrapped around the hand, its death grip holding a handgun Sigh. “Why can’t people learn to stay out of my business? Now I have to reconstruct you, if my day wasn’t interrupted enough times already.” He gave the broom a thrust and sent a wave of atoms into the alley. Atoms formed and became molecules, binding with each other. A female silhouette materialized on one of the reforming apartments, screaming. “Pansy.”

He picked up his briefcase and walked to the front door of the small shack. He knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” asked a cheery voice.

“I’m the cleaning service. I'm here to get rid of the zombies in your basement.”

“Correct! Come on in, buddy.”

“...I’m not your buddy, just your partner in this dead end job.” the Janitor half-growled.

The door clicked open. Instead of a one room shack, there was a medium-sized laboratory and a small open trapdoor leading to the basement. The door was actually a portal connecting to a room in a ship outside of the universe. The Janitor was cleaning up some business and found some files along the way. On one side of the laboratory, a figure wearing a cloak hunched over a pile of scrap parts and a video projector. He turned around and raised the hood. A pair of ski goggles glinted from the lighting. Worn, slightly bloody bandages wrapped around his entire head, and can be seen poking out from inside his sleeve and his moderately frayed gloves. His hair was short cut, and hung right above the straps of his goggles. He was also a foot shorter than the six feet three inches of the Janitor.

“So you got the situation taken care of?” he asked.

“Yes Shtik, no world burning experiments until the next decade. Don’t you have something more interesting to do? All I have done recently is pretty much like what those memory wipers do.” replied the Janitor as he handed him the briefcase. “Oh, and I found this. You might want to take a look at it. It seems to be coded toward your aura.”

Shtik took the case and set it down on a table. When he stuck his thumb into the keyhole, it glowed a bit, then popped. The lid slowly flipped open on spring-loaded hinges. There were a few pages inside held together by a paperclip. It read: “Alert: Mega-Crossover initiating in an area near you. Includes many gods and hapless humans, may be fun. Enjoy your ticket.” There wasn’t really a ticket since it was really all a formality, and he unsubscribed from the service anyways. Shtik grinned a little and rubbed his hands, but paused when he saw a small post it attached to the side. “Warning: An aura sensor named M**** S** has entered the arena. Keep your signatures low if you decide to enter.”

Shtik groaned. “Dammit. I can’t hide my aura very well and have health insurance at the same time. I really wanted to go there myself.” He deflated slightly, but started cleaning out the junk on his desk and inspecting the large camcorder sitting atop of it. “Oh well, I'm am a part time summoner. I guess I have to pull out Avery for this.” He reached underneath his desk and plopped down a rust colored box.

Avery is the nickname for Audio/Video Environment Recorder - Earth Class. It is basically a rover with many scientific analyzing equipment stored within its stomach compartment. Shtik grabbed the 720p video camera and attached it to its “neck”. The Janitor pulled out a black tube from the recesses of his broom and handed it over to Shtik, who dropped it into a vent in the back. The robot shuddered slightly as electricity started running through its body, started its fan, and rebooted. The head-camera straightened out slightly. “AVER-E 2.0 running at 90% power. All systems online, directive?” Meanwhile, Shtik grabbed a box, scrawled “CGotG” on its cover. After writing it again on the blank hard drive inside, he proceeded to stick it into the robot's chest port.

“Come on Johnny, let’s go. Please scout out the area and find a suitable landing spot.” Shtik squeezed a letter out from his arm. “I might send out a message to a guy I left in these worlds. You should just continue to monitor the natives, and if needed I’ll get my representative to help you take care of my camera here.”

“Yes sir, And my name isn’t John. I stopped using it for over ten centuries.” He turned around with his broom on his shoulder and walked out through one of the hallways into the interior of what could only be called a home for a six hour break, despite how much he dislikes it. A shadow of a scythe overlayed his shadow.

“...spoil sport,” Shtik grumbled.

A shining blue jewel glittered on my view screen. I hopped through a portal, landed on a passing asteroid and drained the kinetic energy from said asteroid, freezing it in place. This way, almost no one would notice my temporary work area unless they were also on the same rock. It worked as a nice base of operations until I got everything set up. It took about an hour in real time. All I really needed to do was to sync up Avery’s video feed to my monitor and plan out a path of action. Then I created a Party Cannon (TM) and shot Avery at the planet. I had to wait for the sun to move out of the way. I was a bit unfamiliar working with a geocentric planet. I found it a bit strange that these systems were so rare, but that was the least of my worries, seeing as it only took fifteen minutes for an opening to come up. I then sat back.

I wonder what The Janitor had done in the past few weeks here?

A few hours later...

It was night time in this half of Equis. The stars were twinkling, the crickets chirping, the sound of a sky pirate slinking around in his airship, and there was also a small cluster of shooting stars across the sky. One of the fireballs started going off to the side, confusing a few sky watchers. Unlike most of the other fireballs, this one kept on flying. Some worried it might destroy a town, and others wondered if a certain princess was drunk.

After flying through half the country, the meteor smashed a little off the path between Ponyville and Canterlot. It landed strategically behind a cluster of trees, shielding the spray of dirt created from its landing. The slightly glowing sphere rolled to a stop. The ball made a slight snapping sound as it split in half, dropping a rusty orange box. A small flap on the box’s top flipped aside. The camera stored within spun noiselessly on oiled gears into the alien (from its perspective) atmosphere. After short damage check, it began running its boot up programs.

Flight time: 5.6 hours

Damage: 2%, within operable parameters.

Power levels: 90% Est. 2 years run time.

System Diagnostic...

Running...

RunniNg. .. .

cH*ck ComP-bzzzt-crack

The “head” of A/VER-E 3.0 glowed and blew off, leaving a stump behind. Several hundred miles away, Shtik stared at the white noise in shock. “Did I miss something? How did it do that?” He looked over his blueprints and scratched his head. “...Nevermind, I just go back to version 2.0. That thing has always worked for me.

The neck of A/VER-E retracted back into its body, and after a few clunks, it came back out with another HD camera. Though it didn't have stereoscopic vision, it worked. It took another few seconds to start booting up again. And in another fifteen seconds, just as the sun started to rise, the head glowed as a freak energy pulse blew it off again.

In surprise and rising horror, Shtik frantically powered down the robot completely after he saw that the damage indicator was now at 90%. He presumed that it will continue to drop as long as the robot stayed on. He peaked over the edge of the asteroid and focused his glowing eye at the planet. A few tiny circles spun inside his iris as its magnification increased. A few filters were shifted around to see in octiron, or the wavelength of magic. He saw a line of power streaming from the pony capital, and a few trace strands flickering out to the side, right over where his robot was parked. Gears spun in place as ancient memories were pulled out to scan their contents. Soon, the connection between the magic surge and his robot with many delicate electronics clicked into place.

“Oh buggah.”