The Great Multiverse Theory: Repairs and Recordings

Back to the Future

Crickets chirped into the night. The manager of the general store locked the doors and left for home. A tiny sliver of light reflected off of goggles looking at her retreat. Once the coast was clear, the shadow slipped towards the entrance. I lifted my goggles, allowing the light of my left eye to spill forth. I carefully weakened the bonds holding my body together and slipped through the tiny gap between the doors. I modified the brightness levels entering my eye as I stalked through the shelves. I carefully moved a few jars to the side and pulled out a black cylinder out of my stomach. The cylinder took on the jar’s appearance the moment it was a few inches away from one. I gave a brief nod of satisfaction, then wrapped it in a sheet of translucent paper. A few runes glowed to life; these babies forces observers to pay much less attention to this particular jar. It would also compel the staff to refill the shelf before it reaches empty. Most wouldn’t notice it even if it was the last one. If the item was replaced, the fake jar would change into the new item. I also stuck a few sticks with a box of umbrellas and a ball or two within the fruits isle.

I grinned at the outlines that only I could see shimmering in the darkness, within the store and beyond.

The Janitor checks a pile memory disks, then stashes them within his broom. “Think I got everything,” he muttered. Beside his feet, Avery sat slumped in shutdown mode as his memory disks were replaced with fresh ones. Elma shut his chest compartment.

“So, can I call him now?” she asked.

“Sure.”

Elma whacked her foreleg a few times. Slowly, a fleshy bag emerged out of the arm like a giant pimple. She gently pulled it out and split the bag.

In the background, Janitor cringed. Even though he could do the same, it always weirded him out. He stuck with bone claws and disguises.

She shook the bag, dropping out a small, red easy button. She then raised a hoof and bopped the button.

“Position locked and recorded,” it buzzed as if reciting a slogan.

A swirl of light shimmered above the button. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Suddenly, a portal opened. Shtik walked out wearing a bathrobe spinning a dagger between his fingers and resting the barrel of a rotary machine gun over his shoulder. He stretched his arms, lazily pointing the gun towards the portal. “...and don’t you try to come back,” he said, yawning.

“What,” Elma asked.

He waved his hand. “Nothing much. Just needed to ... rest after organizing my inventory. Oh, and one more thing.” He turned back towards the portal. He tapped his watch, pointing it at the portal as if flipping through channels. He stopped at a garage. “One moment please,” he called as he hopped through.

A few awkward silent minutes later, a large rumble came through the portal. Headlights shined through the portal as a massive tank rolled through. The front vaguely resembled a low jeep with two pairs of wheels. The back half had a trapezoidal pillar with a double-barreled, 120 mm cannon with  1.5 meter long snub nosed barrels, supported by two wheeled treads. The driver area was heavily armored, with sloped glass, their bonds strengthened courtesy of Shtik. Two machine guns sat on the roof of the front half. The portal closed a few seconds after.

He stepped out of the driver’s side once again wearing his dusty brown trench coat and grey fishing cap and grinned at Elma’s surprised face. Janitor nodded. “Good call.”

I chuckled to myself. I never really use this tank (TNK - 02) much, to be honest. I really like the feeling of it rumble and weapons though; I should probably drive it around more. I walked over to Avery and turned him on. “You, my friend,” I grunted, lifting up the robot onto my shoulder, “will watch the world outside time. Record events, analyze data and new objects, and most importantly, tell me when the next big one comes.” My hand glowed with power, and chucked Avery into the Time Vortex (yelling “Confirmed”), leaving a trail of sparkling energies. I turned back towards my allies. “Y’all get enough rest? ‘Cause we’re going straight to the next one.”

Janitor wordlessly stepped into the passenger side seat. Though it looked cramped, a bit of dimensional meddling added a few square feet in the back where the cannon should have been.

Elma gulped, looking around nervously. “Am I strong enough? Do I have enough energy? What if I scre-”

I put my hand on her shoulder, and did my best to think friendly thoughts, the thought patterns I once used lifetimes ago. “Don’t worry about it. I can give you some lessons along the way. If you need to, we can wait a few months; I can stick us out of the time stream for as long as you need to so we can avoid the locals, though try to keep it within,” I wiggled my fingers, “four or five years. The effort is a bit draining. If you are worried over your personal energy levels...” I held up a canteen with a wrench on it and shook it. “This is an emergency boost until you improve your efficiency. I can work with you on that too.”

Elma took a deep breath, calming her heart rate. She slowly opened her eyes, nodding once. “Okay, I can do this. Let’s go.” She stepped into the backseat as I watched from behind. I took a few breaths, calming my nerves. Something warm bloomed inside me. I held it for a moment, and smiled bitterly. Maybe...As if.

I shook my head and stepped in myself and shut the door. A stuck my thumb into a socket on the left hand side of the steering wheel. The tank shudders in response, rods of black matter sending currents of energy through the vehicle. A HUD lit up, showing the full power tanks and the loaded guns above and behind me. Never hurts to be over prepared. A monitor on the center column lit up and turned slightly towards me, showing the plans I programmed earlier. A small window in its corner displayed the data Avery was collecting like a satellite from space.

I slammed the accelerator, the half track tank spitting dirt back. Lights flickered across the monitor, locking onto my position in space time and preparing to jump. Sparks jumped through hidden lines hidden underneath the tank’s shell.

“Back to the future, kiddies!” I said, “Hold on tight. Thank you for joining us on this one way trip, hope to see you next time.” As I finished, the invisible wires glowed, ripping the multi-ton vehicle out of the space time continuum. A cone of light freckled in dots of multiple colors spiraled in its wake. Black smog slowly dissipated through the aperture before it closed, hiding the dirt and leaving no trace of anyone ever being there.