The Six Mic's and The Elements of Homosexuality
The Six Mic’s and the Elements of Homosexuality
Written By TheBrotasticBrony
Bro-Written By BronyLI
Edited By EquestrianFanFiction (Cpt. Clopfic)
It was a quaint winter day in Flankramento, the sun was hidden behind a facade of clouds with not a single Pegasus in sight to clear them. Mic was wrapped up warm inside his shack, snuggled up in toasty sheets by the fireplace. In the next room, Mic was recording a song. Helping him with the backing vocals was Mic, doing as best harmony as he could.
Mic walked inside from the cold, his entrance disturbing Mic from his slumber.
“How was it out there?” Asked Mic
“I’ve seen worse.” Mic replied
“Did you see anything interesting outside Mic?”
“I met this guy named Mic while I was walking outside and he said we could come to a party he’s throwing tonight.”
“I’m up for it, but I’ll have to ask Mic, Mic & Mic about it.”
“Fine with me Mic”
Mic walked into Mic’s recording studio. The recording studio was decorated with an unerringly large amount of pictures of The Living Tombstone in lingerie, with the bed in the corner being occupied by Mic.
“Hey! Mic! There’s guy named Mic who’s throwing a party, are you up for it?”
“Yeah, one sec, I just gotta finish this song.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s about this guy named Mic who really inspired myself and Mic to do a rap”
“Sounds good Mic. How about you on the bread, are you up for it?”
“Yeah, I guess I’ll go, but how far away does this Mic guy live, anyway?”
“About a half an hour from here, Mic.”
“Should we have an orgy before the party then?”
“Sure, but we should ask Mic, Mic and Mic if they want to”
“Nah, let’s just force them”
“Yeah, you’re right, besides they like that kind of shit”
Then the two Mic’s proceeded to sneak up to Mic, who was still awaiting more information from the others in the comfort of his bread. Mic bounced upon the bread, clutching Mic’s hind legs.
Then Mic quickly plunged his massive penis into the struggling Mic’s mouth, causing Mic to cough profusely.
“Quickly!” Mic yelled “Everypony get in here!”
The three other ponies rushed in, their passion sticks bulging in anticipation. Mic’s penis in particular was dripping with pre-cum at the thought of joining in such a divine group orgy. Mic on the other hand, was salivating over the thought of submerging Mic in his horny honey. Seeing that Mic’s mouth was already being satisfied, Mic and Mic plunged their penises into Mic anus, their heads touching while inside the gaping chocolate cavern.
Mic could see that Mic was already being filled by Mic, Mic, and Mic. Not wanting to be left out of the gluttonous gay gang-bang, Mic rushed into his recording studio. He picked up his microphone, admiring it’s large, black shaft, and dashed back to the steamy sex sanctum.
As usual, Mic was the first to ejaculate. Now one thing you should know about unicorns is that their metabolism is...unnaturally fast. This means that unicorns are much like human centipedes in the fact that after eating they defecate only a few seconds later. So as Mic shot his penis paste into Mic’s throat it warped through his body and onto Mic and Mic’s cocks. The semen dripped from Mic anus onto Mic and Mic’s cocks and into their urethrae, creating a cacophony of pleasure. This caused both Mic and Mic to fire off their dick drinks simultaneously as they docked with each-other inside Mic’s gaping plothole. The semen flew up from Mic’s stomach out his mouth, plastering itself over Mic’s face. Exhausted, Mic and Mic withdrew from the anus while Mic withdrew from his mouth.
That meant the only aroused ponies left were Mic and Mic. Mic clutched his Microphone’s hard, black shaft, and in a fit of passion Mic shoved his mic up Mic’s anus. The large shaft slid up and down Mic’s anus. The microphone caused an orchestra of squelching and squeaking to bellow out from Mic’s anus, spreading poop juice everywhere. Mic, being the brutal ass master that he was, used his patented “Ass Attack”, and made Mic fire off a load from his semen soaked scrotum in a euphoric fit of passion and pent up pleasure. That meant Mic was the last pony standing, Mic ferociously withdrew the microphone from Mic’s anus and started to fondle it with his tongue. Mic was doing this while furiously clopping to the stallion pile of Mics. Soon enough he had finished, covering his friends in his hot mess of pony semen.
Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic finished cleaning their hot stallion mess and headed out the door. Mic, noticing how chilly it was outside went to fetch his jacket. Mic, being a fan for jokes, slapped Mic on his flank when Mic passed him.
“Now now” Mic said “We haven’t got much time after...that”
“I’m only having fun” Mic teased
“Yeah I know, but we need to head to Mic’s house for the party, save that for later”
Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic and Mic proceeded to walk out into the brisk, winter air. The wind buffeted Mic’s limp and flaccid penis, causing it to flail like a wet noodle. Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic trotted in a single file, each one admiring the other’s rumps. Mic led the herd onto the long winding road and could not prevent himself from making a sexual remark about it.
“Mic, this road is a symbol of your penis”
Mic stared at Mic in disbelief over his extremely stupid statement, but this did not make him any less aroused then usual. Mic’s erect penis pointed north, which happened to be the same direction that the band of ponies were trotting.
“Hey, do you know that Dwight guy?” Mic asked
“Yeah, what about him?” replied Mic
“Ah, never mind, I’m just going to abort that statement”
“Why would you abort that aborted statement?”
“Lets just abort the topic, while it’s only gestating in our minds”
“We should really stop with these abortion puns, we’re really aborting ourselves from any chances of getting into heaven.”
“Fine...Hey Mic, have you ever been to Ann Arbor before?”
“Yes I have, why?”
“It’s more like Ann Abortion, am I right?”
“God damn it Mic.”
Once Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic and Mic had reached the tip of the penis shaped road the ponies veered off into the Flankramento Plains. The ponies giggled as the soft, brown stalks tickled their anuses as they passed by. After much anal stimulation from the stalks, Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic and Mic finally found a barren spot to rest. Mic, always the curious one, decided to explore the surrounding area. It was still a few hours until the party, so he felt like he had the time to examine the plains and all of the hard, brown stalks that inhabited it.
Mic split off from the others to continue his expedition into the lightly snowed plains. The plains were mostly full of the same brown stalks that Mic loved so much, but there were also a large tree in the distance. Mic trotted onwards toward the tree, the stalks crushing underneath his hoof. The tree, much like the stalks, was hard and brown. Unlike the stalks however, the tree was dripping a warm translucent sap down it’s trunk.
Mic sat down by the aged brown tree, his mane absorbing it’s succulent cream drizzle. Mic looked beside the tree and saw a dusted old tome. He reached over to grab the book, as he needed something else to do while clopping. Grabbing the book with one hoof he began to read while pleasuring his willy warrior with the other.
A Brief History of Equestrian Rulers and Their Times
Regardless of what these idiotic “Zebras” may want you to believe, Equestria has a proud and noble history that stretches back thousands of years. Equestria’s population was created by two allicorns, Luna and Celestia. Celestia was the ruler of the master Aryan pony race, while Luna was the ruler of pitiful Nigloid pony race. Despite the rulers differences in their subjects they had a healthy, if extremely sexual, relationship. One of their most famous sexual escapades was a depraved act that involved a gerbil, a bottle of semen, and a coat hanger. The two ponies were very open about their sexualities, often preforming oral sex on each other outside of one of Canterlot’s rapidly expanding orphanages.
But as time went by, Celestia became more and more unsatisfied with Luna’s performance in her many orgies. Sure, Luna would bathe in the afterbirth of gods while eating entire galaxies, but that was just a bit too tame for Celestia’s exquisite tastes. Celestia began to grow more and more distant, eventually she abandoned her place as the master of the Aryan pony race and ran off with a different ruler. The rulers name was IBringDaLulz Senior, the god of pedophilia.
With Luna blissfully unaware to the other rulers affairs Celestia was free to plunge into the depths of Lulz Sr.’s history, as well as his anus. Celestia was able to find out that Lulz’s was a bit of loser in his school days, only having 12 orgies a day, versus the other rulers 16 to 20 orgies. He also had an affair with an apple pie, and that’s about as close to rock bottom as one could hope to get. After spending several years in prison for his affair he was given the rather fitting title “The God Of Pedophilia”.
And now, the present. Lulz Sr. and Celestia are still having their little affair, SuperCartoonAddict is still the jailbait that Lulz’s heart desires, and Luna is still blissfully unaware of the entire incident. She won’t buy this book either because the currency in the New Nigloid Republic is fried chicken, and I don’t think my publishers would be too happy about that marketing climate.
The End
Mic set the book down by the tree, admiring his now quite stiff erection. He was about to resume his fervent clopping when he heard a oddly familiar voice scowling at him from the stalks.
“So I see you’ve been reading my book”
The figure rose from the fields, his cock as hard as steel.
“B-BronyMike?” Mic gasped.
“Just call me Mike, Mic” Mike said, as he threw Mic from the tree to the ground
“M-Mike! What are you doing?”
“Shut up baby you know you love it”
Mike slid his massive Canadian cock into Mic’s anus, his socialist syrup scents secreting sexually onto Mic’s body. Mic’s body felt like an exploding firework of ecstasy, he had always known the pleasure of another man’s anus wrapping around his raging boner, but this was something more. Mic had always had a very dominant personality, but he secretly wanted to be on the bottom of the beast with two backs. The feeling of another man pounding his ass was something so different and wonderful, that Mic ejaculated in his best time yet: 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Feeling satisfied that ramming Mic’s anus had caused him to ejaculate, Mike sprayed semen from his faggot fondler onto Mic’s face and disappeared into the field of stalks.
Mic walked back to the campsite and saw Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic packing up their little Brokeback Mountain reenactment.
“Hey Mic! You gotta little semen on your face!” shouted Mic
“Oh, thanks Mic.” Mic replied, wiping the dick depository off of his face
“Looks like you had a bit of an orgy without us, how come?”
“Not exactly an orgy, Mic. I had a bit of an encounter with BronyMike.”
“Who?”
“We were roommates in college.”
“Roommates? How many times did you molest him?”
“Maybe 3 or 4 times.”
“Only 3 or 4 times?”
“A day.”
“Oh, that makes sense, you wanna help us pack up? It’s getting a bit late and we have to get to that party.”
“I’d be glad too, lover-boy.” Mic replied, slapping Mic’s voluptuous ass
When the band of promiscuous ponies finished packing up they, finally, continued their trek to the party.
Equestrian Sexuality Police Department
Fillydelphia, 2:30 AM
Lulz sat in his chair drinking his coffee, his eyes sagging with boredom. There had been virtually no new cases in the ESPD, which governed over Equestrian sexuality. As of Celestia’s latest edict, homosexuality was an arrestable crime. Turns out, besides the sick bastards who write about gay shipping, Equestria is mostly heterosexual kingdom. Suddenly, an urgent pounding on his door.
“Come on in.” Lulz groggily sighed.
A tall nigloid man entered the door, he couldn't be older then 18. Lulz looked at the mans badge, it read: Dwight G. Macgyver.
“I didn’t know the ESPD hired minors.” Lulz murmured.
“ESPD rookie unit, sir.” Dwight replied
“How old are you son?”
“Seventeen”
“Gotcha. Why are you here exactly?”
“We got a tip from one of our agents about some homosexual activity. A six pony “party”, there is almost an 100% chance of gay ass sex at this location.”
“Which one of our agents got the tip off?”
“Agent BronyMike.”
“Yeah, he gives some mighty good head. Well...Now is as good a time as any time catch these homo homie ponies.”
Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic had finally reached their destination. They delicately laced each others manes with semen and knocked on Mic’s door. Mic opened the door sporting an unbearably large erection.
“Hey there Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic. Welcome to Mic’s pony penis pleasure palace.”
“Glad to be here Mic, I haven’t bleached my anus in weeks.” Mic shamefully replied
“No worries Mic, I have several gallons of bleach for just such an occasion.”
Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic walked into the pleasure palace. Mic loved the palace the second he stepped inside, from the marble caked in semen to the torture chamber downstairs, this was home.
“Mic, how did you afford such a decedent pleasure palace?”
“I received money from the Guinness book of world records for having the quickest ejaculation time in all of Equestria.”
“Impressive!” Mic beamed
“Thank you, although I have to give most of the credit to my abnormally small penis. There is less area to cover and therefore more stimulation.”
“Fascinating! I would love to have a demonstration if you would be so inclined Mic.”
“Oh I would love too, but I just can not bear to fathom myself pleasuring my peter popper in another man’s anus without a participating audience.”
“One second, I’ll go get Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic. They always like a small penis in their anuses.”
Mic galloped through the pleasure palace as fast as he could, he had to witness the quickest ejaculating pony in all of Equestria display his craft. But first, he had to feel the throbbing pleasure of taking a massive, brown shit. He began to reminisce about the first time his anus was nearly torn in two after eating the national food of the Nigloid Empire, fried chicken. He slammed on the bathroom door, becoming extremely aroused as his anus was beginning to widen. The door was locked.
“Is anypony in there?” Mic asked frantically
“Yeah, Mic, Mic, Mic and I are in here.”
“What are you doing in there?”
“Oh, just having a little orgy.”
“Sounds nice, but Mic has the record for the quickest ejaculation in all of Equestria and he wanted to put on a demonstration for us in the living room.”
“Great! Besides, I needed the change in scenery. It’s hard to pleasure so many ponies when all you have too look at is shower curtains and not the hard, succulent woods of the living room.”
The ponies rushed into the living room, their cocks erect with anticipation. Mic was waiting anxiously, his pleasure pendulum beckoning the aroused ponies.
“So, we heard that you are the fastest in all of Equestria.” Mic remarked
“Come and done in ten seconds flat” Mic boasted
“I’d love to see a demonstration, but Mic, Mic, Mic, and I are in bit of an orgy right now. Perhaps you would like to volunteer, Mic?”
“I’d love too, I really have to take a shi-”
Not letting the distressed pony finish, Mic plunged his fantastically diminutive phallus into Mic’s anus, his penis sliding into the brown log that brewed in the depths of Mic’s anal cavern. Not expecting such pleasurable feelings from Mic’s ass, Mic came instantly, destroying his previous ejaculation record by more then 9 seconds. The result of this powerful ejaculation sent semen to fly everywhere throughout the living room, covering Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic, making them ejaculate instantly as well.
As the ponies tried to catch their breath they noticed a loud slamming coming from the front door. Suddenly, the door flew off it’s hinges and two ESPD officers dashed into the room.
“Freeze you homosexual bastards!” Dwight screamed
Dwight was doing quite well on his first mission, Lulz thought. He was forcing all of the ponies into handcuffs and Lulz thought that was so...sexy. Lulz tried to hide his feelings, but he didn’t know if he could resist Dwight’s tight ass. Lulz looked down in shame at his familiar friend, but was it really anything to be ashamed about? What was so bad about going after someone who is one year under the legal limit? As these questions picked at his brain he felt a strong internal force, as is some divine being was willing him towards Dwight’s jailbait ass. In an instant, he felt thousands of years of Equestrian history absorb into his mind and knew his place in the world. He was Lulzakiin! PEDOBORN!
With a mighty bellow of “FUS RO DAH!” Lulz charged towards Dwight while he was bending over to put on the final set of handcuffs. He slammed into Dwight’s ass, his cock raging with the force of a million volcanos. The amount of pressure that this caused on Dwight’s underage ass and the eruption of semen that came from Lulz’s baguette buster on contact with Dwight’s anus caused Dwight to implode, spreading blood and semen throughout not just the living room, but the entire house.
Mic, infuriated by this vandalism of his house, rose up from the ground clutching Mic’s hand.
“Listen up you anal crusader, I’m not just some one trick pony. I have an element, we all have elements...Elements of...Homosexuality.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” said Lulz, still drunk on divine power
“I am Mic, the element of Buttsex” Mic, standing up from the ground.
Mic, Mic, Mic, Mic, and Mic began to stand up one at a time, each Mic now understanding their place in the life of an average gay pony and therefore, their element.
“Your elements became clear the moment you arrived, Mic, the element of Rape, Mic, the element of Euphoria, Mic, the element of Orgy, Mic, the element of Bondage, And Mic, the element of Bukkake.”
The six Mic’s all began to combine their power. With Buttsex, Rape, Euphoria, Orgy, Bondage, and Bukkake all combined at last, a wave of semen unleashed from all the ponies cockholes, washing away the blood and nigloid semen that Dwight had left. With Lulz drowning in a tsunami of man marmalade and the six elements combined, everything was turning back to normal.
“So,” Mic panted “Who’s up for an orgy?”
The End. Merry Christmas everypony.
Love,
BroBro.
Editors Note: (EFF) - Nothing much to say here... Looks good, and by good I mean BronyLI pretty much kind of covered it... but I can honestly say this did make me feel incredibly dirty after reading it, about six times while editing. Simply randy if I do say so myself.
Bro-Writers Note: (BronyLI)- Why did we write this? For the lulz? Or for every one's weird ass fetish for MictheMicrophone? Keep calm and IBringDaLulz will clop on!