“SPIKE!” Twilight yelled in capslock. “EQUESTRIA IS GOING TO END!”
Spike looked up from his stamp collection. “What, Twilight? That’s preposterous!”
“No, Spike,” Twilight said sadly, her head hung low. “No, it isn’t. The ancient Mareyans-”
“The ancient what?”
A large book flew Spike’s way. It opened up, flipped out about halfway through, and was displayed proudly by the unicorn before him.
"The ancient Mareyans were a pre-Celestial empire that stretched from a few miles south of Appaloosa down to the-”
Spike closed the book and gave Twilight a look. “Uh, Twilight? The ancient Mareyans have been gone for hundreds of years.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “What you don’t realize, Spike, was that they were a highly advanced civilization. They had an amazing Lunar calendar-”
Spike held his claws up as a way to signify Twilight to slow the fuck down. “Wait, wasn’t this pre-Celestial?”
“Yes, but not pre-Lunar.”
Spike’s face contorted in confusion. “Isn’t Luna the little sister?”
Twilight nodded. “Well, of course. I really don’t see where you’re going with this.”
Spike opened his mouth, then closed it, then wandered off to the corner to cry for a few hours. Twilight continued to prepare herself for the end of Equestria.
“This is going to be bad... I have no idea what to expect! The book never said anything about HOW it was going to end!” Twilight rubbed her eyes viciously. “Ugh, I better prepare myself for everything!”
There was a small crash, and Pinkie Pie sproinged her way into the room. “Heya, Twilight! What’s going on?”
Immediately, the purple pony latched on to Pinkie Pie’s face with her hooves. “What’s going on? WHAT’S GOING ON?! Equestria is ending, that’s what’s going on!
Pinkie Pie’s eyes lit up. “OOH! Equestria’s ending? I have a song for that!”
Twilight facehoofed, neatly hitting between her eyes and slightly dizzying herself. “Pinkie Pie, that’s not quite the appropriate response to this situa-”
With a great intake of air, Pinkie Pie began to sign.
“That’s great, have a milkshake, Fluttershy will save all her birds and snakes, Cheerilee and Trixie, that ship sank,-
No need to be afraid, Dashie’ll stop a hurricane, listen to Twilight squirm-
Equestria is bestia, ruled by Celestia, feed it up a knock, kick it up a notch, gung ho, ooh a sparrow!
Twilight’s balloon, hold it it soon, fly us to the moon! Getting higher in a fire, represent the six elements of harmony to aspire and we all sing in our choir!
Didn’t leave her, instead believe her, brushing up and down our manes! Double team, tag team, drag queen, Mayor Mayor help us please!
Look at the fourth wall! Make sure it doesn’t fall, fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population control, changing for a changeling, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself!
Equestria serves its own needs, listen to your heart beat. Tell me with the rapture,always evading capture, every event is right - right? You’re distraught, over-thought, over-talked, flew-fighted, bright-lighted, and not feeling pretty psyched...”
Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply, then sang out loud as she could, an upbeat tune persisting around the whole area.
“It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it, and I feel fine!”
Jumping across the room, spilling books every which way she landed, Pinkie Pie took another huge breath and began to sing extraordinarily fast again.
“Six o'clock - dinner hour. Don't get caught in spilt flour, cut and paste,
return, listen to Twilight churn. Lock her in basement during the book burning-”
“Oh my goddess, that’s horrifying!”
“-Twilight calm down, I was only kidding,” Pinkie sang without missing a beat, even making it rhyme correctly. She continued on like nothing had happened. “Every motive escalate. Carriage insurance incinerate. Light a candle,
burn a fear, of the dark, step down, step up! Watch a hoof crush, crush. Uh oh, this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of cupcakes, which is really great, didja finish that milkshake? Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, why should I decline?
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it, and I feel fine!”
Pinkie Pie slide under Twilight’s stomach, and thrust her into the air. The confused unicorn sailed gracefully into the opposite wall face first, knocking some of the sense of of her. Pinkie Pie carried on her catchy singing about nonsensical ends of Equestria.
“The other night I slept in, had a nice drive in movie dream, one coffee with extra cream, and sugar please! Mount St. Dragonite, sleep tight don’t let the parasprite bite, Twilight Sparkle! Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash!
Birthday party, cheesecake, pound cake, drop it on the ground cake, jelly bean, boom! You overworked, slightly jerked, plothurt, grand slam, but neck, right? Right!”
Twilight was only beginning to recover from her unexpected flight once she was able to hear Pinkie’s singing again. She had missed the last verse, and was in for one final chorus.
“It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it!
It’s the end of Equestria as we know it, and I feel fine!”
Twilight massaged the side of her head with a lavender hoof to wane the agony of her headache when Pinkie Pie slide up to her ear and shouted melodically into it. “And I feel fine!”
With a giggle, the pink one fell on her back and snow-angled away, out the door into the outside world. Twilight Sparkle sat on her library floor, mouth slightly agape from what she had just witnessed.
“Ok, Twilight... that was just Pinkie being Pinkie. What I need to do now is warn everypony about the incoming disaster!” Twilight Sparkle forgoed her previous preparations to run outside and warn everypony about the oncoming apocalypse.
“Everypony! Listen up,” she shouted loud and clear. “The ancient Mareyans predicted that on this date, we would all perish! So quickly, everypony gather to some sort of safe zone, now!”
There was no stampede for shelter as Twilight had expected. Only Rainbow Dash absently making cloud drawings in the sky, and Pinkie Pie playing tennis with a frog.
Twilight fell to the ground in a heap of self-pity. “Why isn’t anypony listening to me? The world is ENDING! We’re all going to die, and-”
“Now, my faithful student, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions like that.” Twilight turned around to see the bright smile of Princess Celestia beaming down on her.
Twilight fell into a bow quickly, then corrected herself with a sheepish grin. “Princess! I wasn’t expecting you here!” With a clearing of her throat and a dazed look, she went on. “Um... why are you here?”
The Princess gave the town a sweeping gaze. “What’s wrong with a country’s ruler coming down every now and then to check in on one of her favorite subjects?”
Twilight, no stranger to praise, still blushed a bit at this. “But still, it’s so... unexpected of you!”
Celestia giggled. “Truth be told, I had a sudden premonition of that one book you had lying around the library. It’s fairly outdated, and I didn’t want you to jump to conclusions.”
“Spike sent you a letter, didn’t he?”
“Oh, you know me too well, student.” Celestia stared off at the west, where the sun was slowly sinking. A small burst of magic erupted from her horn, and faded off without further note. “I had entirely forgotten I had let you plunder that book from the library so long ago. I’m almost ashamed that I didn’t do so earlier.”
Twilight looked down at her hooves in shame. Noting this, Celestia extended her large white wing around her prodige. “Now now, Twilight. I’m just glad I caught you before you did anything drastic like put ponies into underground vaults!”
Twilight smiled a sad little embarrassed smile at this. “Thanks, Celestia. To be honest, I was debating whether or not I should do that!” She chuckled a bit and the absurdity. “But what about the book? How was it wrong?”
“It wasn’t entirely wrong, per se, but the end of the Mareyans world didn’t necessarily mean the end of our world..” Celestia continued her gaze as the sun set. “This is the end of the world now, Twilight.”
“Huh. I imagined more explosions and sulphuric rain.”
“Too many Daring Do books for you, I think,” Celestia remarked. Twilight giggled at this, and too gazed off into the sunset.
“So, this is the end of the world... but Equestria will still be here tomorrow?”
Celestia nodded assent. Twilight sighed. “Huh. Guess that shows I get worked up over nothing. I’d write a letter, but...” Twilight waved her hoof. “You’re already here.”
The two watched Celestia set the sun, Twilight doing so under the comfort of her mentor’s wing. It was peaceful, calming the neurotic unicorn back to her previous state.
This was, of course, immediately disrupted by an annoyed groan. “What, I get all dressed up and no end of the world?” The two ponies looked behind them to see Disord in all his chaotic glory wearing full leather armor and holding a sawed off shotgun. Winona barked happily at his side, bouncing around. “I was REALLY looking forward to re-enacting Mad Max! Now my cosplay just doesn’t even make any sense!”
The draconequus threw the shotgun off behind him in disappointment. “Whatever. Guess I’ll go back to being a statue now...” The equines in front of him were still staring on in awe. “Yes, it has gotten to the point where being a statue is better than-” He used his lion paw to gesture at Equestria as a whole. “-This.”
The Master of Chaos disappeared in a puff of cotton candy, leaving behind the baffled ponies. Celestia sighed. “Darn, I was looking forward to that. Mad Max was an excellent movie.”
Author's Note
Mad Max is one of the breast fucking movies ever.
