I've seen what life does, don't remind us.
Some Secrets Never Change
One year it’s been. One year it has been since that night that changed her life forever. Why did everypony have to be so judgmental? So harsh? All she could think of everyday was suicide and alcohol, what a miserable way she was leading. Every morning was the same old thing, get up, drink and pass out on the couch. Her once beautiful rainbow mane was now dull and unkempt, even her luscious cyan fur had been faded into a light greyish blue. Her mansion was forcefully taken from her and had found a measly wrecked cloud apartment to stay in. Trash was thrown everywhere, her kitchen was stacked to the rim with dirty dishes and other kitchen accessories. Even the walls had faded and cracked, with pieces of paint falling off of it. But today was the day Dash had been preparing for, the day she would confront her thoughts and finally do what she has been longing for.
Nopony cared about Rainbow, not anymore. Princess Celestia didn't even bother with her, not because she didn’t care, but because she simply had no time to deal with such twaddle. Her used to be five best friends had left her abandoned and throw out into the darkness with no help. Pounding at herself everyday, the words filled with hate and spite poisoned her head. It only takes so long that you begin to believe what others say after being said so much, what a shame it is.
Getting out of her bed, Rainbow grabbed a bottle of aspirin on her side table. Swallowing 4 tablets dry to ease the hangover. Today was the day she surrendered to her own war. Her soul had turned to stone and her emotions had left, no matter what happened to her she felt empty and completely unbothered.
Clumsily walking over to her desk she searched around for a piece of paper, it was difficult for her to find anything in this hell hole of a house. To her success she instead found a few sheets of used and crinkled paper. Sitting down at her desk she picked up a pen, turned on a lamp and began to write.
“It’s been over a year now since I have spoken or written to anypony. But today is the day I write to you all, with my final words. Over the course of time I have lost my friends, my family, my job, my house and my life. Day by day I contemplate should I just take the cowards way out and end this all, it’s all clear to me now. It isn’t the cowards way out anymore, it’s a freedom that has been calling my name. I regret that day, the day that my best friends found my journal. I still think about why I even wrote all my personal feelings in that damned journal. But it’s gone now, it was taken from me and burned, so why worry anymore? But what’s more important is how everpony treated me. How you all can be so judgmental, so evil and so torturous to someone who did nothing but CARE for and LOVE you. I saved lives and was idolized as faster flyer, I was looked up to. But instead of showing acceptance you kicked me in the dirt and tossed me around like a piece of garbage, only because my preference for her. For buck sake I am writing this on a paper instead of speaking it, but who cares anyway, I doubt anyone will read this. Why does it even matter? If anypony out their finds this and reads this, I hope you take a good look at me and soak in everything that you have caused me. Goodbye.
-RD”
Carefully folding it, she slid the half ripped note into an envelope. Her mouth felt quite dry after sealing it, it was time for her last drink. Grabbing a bottle of Vodka she slugged it down like nothing. Her lips were cracked and dry and had split, causing a little blood to seep through her skin. Tossing the bottle on the floor, she got up from the chair and walked over to the door. Opening it she was blinded by the sight of the sun, making her feel dizzy and sick; she vomited on the side of the door. Shaking her head her eyes quickly adjusted. Grabbing the note, she quickly stretched her legs and wings and took flight. Slowly she made her through the city of Cloudsdale, passing by other ponies who spat curses and names.
“Whore!”
“Sick!" One of them spat. "How dare you show your face around here!”
The insults made there way to Rainbow but only went in one ear and out the other, she didn’t have time to care, she just wanted to get this over and done with. Approaching the city fountain, she took the note and set it on top of the edge. She figured if anypony cared what it was they would grab it before the wind blew it in the water. Some cringed at her looks, the amount of small scratches and cuts and bruises made for a very unpleasant site. It was awful to see such a beautiful pony become such an ugly monstrosity. But like everything else, it didn’t matter and would fade with time. She reached in a small pack she brought with her and pulled out her Wonder Bolts medal and set it upon the letter. Her signal was clear, this was her end.
Lifting herself off the ground, she made her way back to the apartment. But the flashes of the past came in her head uninvited.
“Good moring Applejack!” Rainbow said happily.
Applejack turned and stared, her lifeless eyes penetrated Rainbows.
“Is something wrong AJ?”
Applejack took out a brown journal from her pack and slid it across the ground to Rainbow. Her heart sunk, immediately she felt a tear come from her eye. Rainbow knew what was coming but she was not prepared. Unsure of how AJ even got her hoofs on it, she was more worried that when she looked up she would have to face her best friend.
“What is the Dash!? What is this!? This whole time I’ve known you and had you as my best friend you were a sick pervert! You disgust me. GET OFF OF MY PROPERTY BEFORE I BREAK YOU! NOW!” Applejack had screamed at Rainbow.
Rainbow just stood there lifeless staring at the ground in tears, not wanting to move. Her mind racing with a million thoughts.
Applejack walked up to her and whispered.
“Did you not just here what I said, this is your last bucking chance. You had better get flying before I break you.”
*BAM* Lost in herself, Rainbow collided with the door to her end. Laying on the ground she huddled up and thought about all the memories she had of her friends. Tears dripped down her face and along her coat, washing away specks of dirt. The memories of the laughter and smiles she shared with those five ponies, the memories which seized to nothing but an illusion. Coming back to reality, she stood up and opened the door. Heading to the bedroom, she closed the door and locked it.
[Grabbing her favorite photo, she set in in front of her. In the red frame was herself and five other ponies, all smiling and laughing together. It almost moved it felt so real. But Rainbow continued to tie the rope around her wings so she wouldn’t struggle, making sure everything was set up right. Above her was a fixed rope, waiting patiently for it’s victim. Grabbing a chair, she drug it underneath and stood upon it. Setting her neck inside the loop, she whispered her last word.
The day faded, and there lying on the fountain was Rainbow Dash’s note. Gusts of wind were teasing it, trying to get somepony to grab it. But to no success the wind became impatient, and threw it over into the water along with her Wonder Bolts medal. The last words of the pegasus had gone unread and unheard, as it sinks to the bottom.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading. I will update with another chapter.
I've seen what life does, don't remind us.
Rainbow Dash’s Journal
“So today was another day. Boring, dull and full of nothing. It’s like there is nothing to do around here anymore except practice my moves and read the Daring Doo series. Well I guess I could always go see Applejack, afterall she is my best friend and I love her company more than anything. I’ve been getting quite nervous lately though, my feelings for Applejack have turned into more than a best friend. As time goes on she gets sweeter and kinder, bigger and stronger and more beautiful. I want to tell her these feelings but I’m so afraid to of what might become of it. Here in Ponyville and Cloudsdale everypony goes by the “old time” rules when it comes to situations like this.There have been other brave mares who stood up and told the world who they are, but quickly were cast out. I’m just so afraid if I admit to these feelings the same will happen to me. I guess only time will tell...”
*BEEP* *BEEP* The timer she set was now buzzing.
“Oh man! Stupid journal, now I’m late for my daily routine! Ughh.” Rainbow Dash grunted in annoyance.
Closing her journal she quickly slammed it shut and shoved it under her mattress, but in such a hurry the journal stuck out at the end just noticeable enough. Quickly bursting through the door Rainbow Dash took flight into the skies to begin her daily routine of flips, drops and wing control.
Taking a break from her usual work, Applejack twisted her neck and popped it, relieving a buildup of tension. She’d been working all day and finally decided to call it quits. Putting away some farming equipment she stopped and realized something.
“I ain’t seen RD in awhile. I wonder what she’s up to.” She whispered to herself.
Finally putting away the rest of her tools, Applejack went inside for a quick eat and wash. Preparing herself some apple fritter, she poured herself some of her “special” cider. Grabbing the warm fritter from the stove, she set it on her plate and began to eat. As she ate her mind was racing with a most peculiar thought.
Rainbow Dash.
Finishing her apple fritter, she tossed the plate and cup into the sink and headed upstairs for a shower. Opening the bathroom door, she took her hair bands out and let the blonde hair run free and sway. Her hair looked beautiful when it wasn’t put up, it seemed to shine more and really reveal her looks. Turning the shower nozzle, she stepped in and let the warm water drip down her sore muscles and dirty hooves. All she could think about was Rainbow, her mind wandering off into it’s own reality. As she stood there in the shower she pictured a place, a meadow of pure green grass and hills and a tree, a large cherry blossom tree. She approached the tree to noticed a pony was lying under it. As she came closer the pony she’d seen was Rainbow Dash, all snuggled up and napping. Standing there she gave a big smile as she watched her colorful friend rest. Slowly walking up to her side, she huddled up next to Rainbow and watched her as dozed off into a peaceful nap.
“Ugh, what in tarnation is that awful smell?” Applejack said dazed from being woken up.
Blinking her eyes came to focus as she noticed Rainbow Dash in front of her.
“AHH!” Applejack screamed, backing away from the other pony.
Lying in front of her was what appeared to be Rainbow Dash. She was strung out under the tree, with several flies buzzing around her. Her fur was grey and scratched, her smell was wretched with alcohol and dirt, her eyes were glassy and lifeless. She looked almost dead from what Applejack could see, but she was breathing, but just barely.
Applejack walked up to her and gave her a nudge, her coat felt crunchy and hard. It was stained with blood spots and spilled booze. As she examined the appearance of her best friend, she noticed that Rainbow had been making eye contact with her, just staring at her lifelessly. Words were trying to pass through her lips.
“Y-you....monster..” Rainbow said weakly.
The world she was dreaming in was now turning, the hills, the grass and the cherry blossom tree were all changing. The grass was beginning to turn brown, the sky above her was turning grey, the hills began to get taller and steeper. But above all the tree that had held two ponies together was now withering away, the branches became thinner and darker and the pedals turned to brown as they fell off with the passing of the wind. Applejack was standing farther and farther away as if the world was backing up. She began to run for the tree as fast as she could, but no matter how fast she was running the world kept stretching. Rainbow remained lying under the tree in the distance as her body became covered in a blanket of pedals that had fallen from the tree.
“Rainbow!” Applejack yelled. “RAINBOW! RAINBOW NO!”
The world vanished and turned to black.
“Guahh!” Applejack woke from her dream.
One year it’s been. One year it’s been since that incident with Rainbow Dash. The moment that cause Applejack to hate herself forever. Putting her hooves on her face, tears began to run down her face.
“I did this to her, I caused my best friend...m-my best friend to hide away. To become a hated pony by everyone. How could I be so evil, so dishonest...to some I...love.”
Her words tore what heart she had left, Applejack loved Rainbow Dash, she loved her more than a best friend. Knowing if she were to confess to these feelings she knew she would have ended up like Rainbow Dash. Cast out and hated by everypony, but being the coward she was she let someone she held dear to be taken down alone. Eating away at her everyday, knowing that the pony was cold, alone and ripped apart. She couldn’t take it anymore, she had to confess her feelings to her, she had to face what she created.
Getting up from her bed, she quickly ran out of the house and began making her way to the Ponyville library. Knocking on the door to the library there was no answer.
“Twilight! Open up quick!”
Coming down the stairs was a half asleep pony. Opening the door Twilight looked confused and annoyed.
“What is it Applejack? Is something wrong?” She asked.
“Twilight, I know it’s late and you’re tired but I need you to cast a spell for me. I need this Twi, please I will answer your questions later but it needs to be now.”
“Ok ok, what is the spell you need?”
“I need you to give me the ability to walk on clouds and I need you to teleport me to the center of Cloudsdale” Applejack asked nervously.
“What fo-mmhp!” Applejack put her hoof to her mouth.
“I said questions later, right now I need you to do this for me. Please.”
“Alright, but lets make this quick. Step over here.” Twilight instructed.
Raising her horn, it glowed with a purple aura. Leaning down her touched the top of Applejacks head.
“Woah.” Applejack said to herself.
The teleport made her dizzy, but she quickly focused back. She didn’t know where Rainbow Dash was living, all she knew was that her mansion was taken from her. Quickly she searched around for the town’s help center. Running along the clouds a few ponies that were out that night looked at her with awe, they didn’t know how she was able to walk let alone run on clouds. Finding the help center she barged in running for the desk.
“Please, I need you to tell me where Ms. Rainbow Dash is living.” she asked.
“Yes, give me one moment to look up her file.” the pony said.
The pony at the desk began shuffling through folders until she found Rainbow's.
“Ah, here it is! She lives at 534 Silent Way.”
“Thank you.” Applejack said as she grabbed a map of the area.
Scanning the map, she located Rainbows whereabouts. Leaving the building she ran and ran for Rainbow. She felt happy, her smile came back as she thought of her. Thought of how she would finally see the pony she loved again.
She arrived, arrived at what appeared to be someplace to live. It was run down and messy, almost like a ghetto. But there it was, Rainbow's home. She approached the door and knocked, but the door slightly opened. Slowly pushing it, she opened the door. She couldn’t see anything it was so dark, but she could smell the stench of old food and vodka. Applejack’s mind started to run with thoughts of what she might look like, how she will react. She never thought of those things while making her way here. A small bit of light made it’s way underneath one of the doors in front of her, it was candle light the way it flickered. Turning the knob it wouldn’t budge.
“Rainbow...a-are you in their?” Applejack asked nervously.
No answer came back.
“Rainbow, I know...I know it’s been awhile. I need to talk to you, I need you.”
Applejack quickly became impatient and started to turn the knob harder. She was strong enough to break the lock if she turned it hard enough. *CLICK* The lock broke and the door cracked open. Slowly pushing it, Applejack leaned in.
Applejack looked around the room and in the corner, she noticed. She saw her best friend.
“NO!” Applejack quickly rushed over to her and untied the knot that was holding Rainbow off the ground.
“No. No Rainbow come on now, open your eyes. Please Rainbow open your eyes!” She pleaded while cradling Rainbow against her.
Her face was pale and discolored from the rest of her body. Applejack knew but did not want to believe that her best friend was gone. Her best friend was gone. She lay there holding her, choking back tears as they made their way through Applejacks eyes.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I did this to you. I’m sorry Rainbow...I’m so sorry that I ever found that journal, I’m sorry that I was a coward and betrayed you. I love you Rainbow Dash...”
On top of the bed stand was a photo, in it were all six ponies laughing and smiling. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow all together in harmony, only to be quickly washed away, by a coward in disguise.
