Apple Pie

Chapters

Freaky Thursday
The Grass Is Pinker...
...On the Other Side of The Fence
This couldn't get any worse
I Spoke Too Soon
Empty
Subterfuge
Epilogue

Freaky Thursday

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning as Applejack trotted through the apple orchard to the barn that had been re-purposed for her family to live in. She had already pulled a stubborn stump from the road side and fed rooted the carrot and potato patches before the sun had even risen above the horizon. She was still thinking about that amazing party that Pinkie Pie had thrown last night. Even though she had to leave early, she had had a really good time. Pinkie Pie insisted that she stay longer, but Applejack gave the same excuse she always did when at one of Pinkie Pie's parties. The old 'lots to do tomorrow' was tried and true. But honestly, Applejack just liked to get up early.

She could already smell the savory wafts of air that carried the scent of breakfast to her muzzle. She inhaled deeply, remembering the lack of food in her stomach, and quickened her trot. She could already taste the delicious slices of toast smothered with Granny Smith's special apple butter, followed by a delicious plate of eggs and an apple or two on the side. Granny might be old, but she was still one heck of a cook.

Applejack reached the old wooden gate that surrounded the house and jumped over the stile that was lodged between the posts. As she cantered up to the house, she heard a repetitive ringing sound around the corner. She looked around the corner of the house and saw her big brother, Big Macintosh, hammering away on a horseshoe that glowed red hot on his anvil.

"Hey Big Mac, smells like Granny's 'bout done with breakfast! Why dont'cha head on in?"

The massive red work horse dropped the hammer out of his mouth, brushing away a trickle of sweat as he looked up at her. "Eeyup."

Applejack rolled her eyes at her brother's short-winded response and trotted into the house as he followed behind her. She smiled at the beautiful scene before that was laid out before her. Her little sister, Applebloom, was filling the table with hot slices of toast, jars of jam and apple butter, a smorgesboard of different fruits arranged pleasantly in a bowl, piles and piles of fresh scrambled eggs, slabs of cold butter, and as the center piece, a huge pile of steaming waffles.

Her stomach rumbled violently as she began to drool. She thought she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. Granny Smith hobbled to the table, toting a giant pitcher of orange juice to the table. "Alrighty now, lets git to eatin'!" The four ponies pulled up their own chairs and sat down eagerly at the table. The sunrise cast a gorgeous orange glow on the table, catching the food in a lovely picturesque light. Applejack paused for a moment and stared at the scene. Her family gathered round, a table full of good food, and a beautiful sunrise. What could be better? She broke the serene feeling by shoveling a mound of eggs and waffles onto her plate. She ate until all the tastes blurred together into one ultimate super- taste.

* * *

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning as Pinkie Pie lay asleep in her bed. The sun had risen a solid hour ago, and she had refused to get up. After the sunrise hit her pillow, she had scooted down the bed until she escaped the rays. Then the sun crept down further, back into her face. She scooted once more. She lay in the bed as the rays of sunlight once more shifted over her face. With a grunt of displeasure, she rolled over and hit the floor, still refusing to get up.

Her ear twitched as she cracked open one sleepy eye. She gasped with pleasure at the sight before her. There were three green-frosted cupcakes in a box left over from last night's party. Man, what a party! She had not had a party that good since... last week! But of course, party-pooper Applejack had to leave before it got really good, like always. How much work is there to do on a farm anyways? She loved and respected the pony, but Pinkie wished she would loosen up just once. It would do her good.

Her drifting train of thought was magnetically pulled back to the day-old cupcakes sitting in the box. Mmm, breakfast! She shot out her tongue and scooped up all three cupcakes in one mouth-full, chewing around the paper cups. Cup cake cups? Cake cups? Cupcake cake cups? Whatever. She spit the "cupcake-cake-cup-things" out of her mouth and bounced onto her hooves. She trotted over to her mirror-desk and reached for her hairbrush with her mouth. Rarity called it a "toilette", but Pinkie thought that was a weird name, and it sounded too much like toilet, and why would she keep her hairbrush in a toilet? Woah. Got WAY off track, yet again. Oh, right! Hairbrush!

Pinkie ran the brush through her mane, wincing as it caught in a tangle of curls. She tugged hard to get it out, and when it did, the force of her pulling sent her rolling backwards into her beaten-up wardrobe, knocking several articles of old clothing and three rain boots down on top of her. She shook off the detritus and decided that her mane was good for now.

Pinkie clip-clopped down the hallway, stopping to look into the twins's room. Their cribs were empty. It must be later than she thought! She hopped down the stairs two at a time and landed at the bottom of the stairwell. She cantered into the kitchen behind the store-front of Sugarcube Corner, spotting all four Cakes sitting down at the small kitchen table. Their plates were already clean and Mr. Cake was already getting up to haul in flour sacks for baking.

He looked up and saw Pinkie in the doorway. "Well hey there, Pinkie! Looks like you sure slept good last night!"

Pinkie looked around, searching for the clock on the wall. "Mr. Cake, what time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"

Mr. Cake rubbed his chin with a hoof, thinking. "Well, you passed out a few minutes after everypony left, which was about one 'o clock. It sounded like the party was over, so I went downstairs and walked you back up to bed." Searching for the clock, he swiveled around until he found it laying on the kitchen counter. "And right now, it's about half past nine."

Pinkie gasped and tensed her entire body. "I'M LATE!!!" She zipped through the kitchen, knocking over various kitchenware as she searched for something.

Mrs. Cake ducked as Pinkie bounded over the table to search through the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen. "Pinkie, whatever are you doing?!"

Pinkie stopped, panting frantically and looking for something among the kitchenware she had knocked to the floor. She inhaled with recollection and bounced to the counter towards a breadbox covered with decorative cozy. She pulled the cozy away to reveal, not a breadbox, but an oblong orange birthday present tied with a red bow. "THERE IT IS!"

Pinkie shot out from the kitchen leaving Two very confused ponies and their twins in a cloud of dust. She burst out the front door of Sugarcube Corner and sped down the street to the town square galloping as fast as she could go. Skidding around a corner, she bumped into a couple of barrels, spilling their contents onto the street. She shot an apologetic glance at the pony who owned the Barrels 'n' Buckets store, and then sped off down the street. She could see ponies setting up shop in the square, putting various goods onto display carts. She had hoped Applejack was not there yet, because she was supposed to give her the surprise that she had forgotten last night.

Up ahead, a young colt dropped a jar of marbles, causing them to spill out onto the road. Pinkie tried to hop over them but ended up landing right on top of them, causing her to slip about on her hooves uncontrollably. She slipped froward and skid face first along the cobbled street, a few marbles rolling beneath her to keep her moving.

Pinkie slid to a stop and looked up at Applejack, who was standing behind her apple cart and giving her a positively puzzled face. Pinkie dropped the present she had been carrying in her mouth and offered it up to Applejack. "Surprise!"

Applejack's puzzled expression became even more puzzled. "Pinkie, what are you doin' slippin around like that? You could really hurt somepony like that!"

Pinkie sat up on her haunches and drew in a deep breath. "I was gonna' give this to you last night but I couldn't find it and then you left before I could, and then I was looking for it all night but then I passed out, and I found it this morning, so here it is!" She offered the present once more with a wide grin. "Happy late Birthday, AJ!"

Applejack smiled and rolled her eyes. "Pinkie, my birthday ain't for another month!"

Pinkie sat, stock -still, staring at nothing in particular, trying to piece things together. Finally, she got up on to her hooves and scratched her head. "Then what was that party last night for?"

"Beats me. It's not the first time you threw a party just 'cause, so I didn't ask."

Pinkie looked down at her hooves, her brow furrowed in thought. Seemingly out of nowhere, she pulled out a brown notebook with three balloons on the front. She flipped through the pages and stared intently at it. Her face then lit up with comprehension. "OHHH, it's the fourteenth of NEXT month, not this one!" Pinkie put the notebook back from wherever it came from, tsk'ing at herself and shaking her head. "Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie. Off your game again."

Applejack sat, still confused, as Pinkie talked to herself. But nothing out of the usual there. "Oh well, you can have it anyways! I'll just get you a bigger, better present NEXT month!"

Applejack dodged the present being shoved her way, looking a little uncomfortable. "Oh, Pinkie, ya'll aint gotta' do that. Really, I can wait a month!"

Pinkie pressed the present closer to her face, peering over it with huge, sparkling eyes as she whispered. "Open it!"

Applejack acquiesced with a sigh and took the present by the bow. She pulled on it with her teeth as the bow unraveled and lowered the box to the ground. She smiled expectantly as she opened the lid of the box. Her smile faded to an even more deeply puzzled look than was previously thought possible. Inside the box was a very strange wooden object shaped like a spool of thread, but elongated to the length of about two hoofs*, and the width of about three or four inches. At the center of the object was a carving of two apples, one light and one dark. It looked as though a section of each apple had been bitten out and replaced in the opposite apple's empty spot. The carving of the apples was surrounded by very strange markings that looked like the old runes that ponies in the north used long, long ago.

Applejack lifted her head and spoke in an even tone. "Pinkie Pie. What the heck is this?"

Pinkie practically bounced up and down with joy. "Do you like it?! I bought it from that new antiques mare that moved in last week! I saw it had apples on it, so I thought you'd might like it!" Applejack picked the strange object up in her mouth and set it on her apple cart, staring at it thoughtfully. Pinkie instantaneously dropped to the ground like a rock, her joy dissipating. "You don't like it, do you?"

Applejack looked around, feeling a little trapped, and less than willing to say anything that would make Pinkie cry, especially out here in public. "No, I love it! Honest! It's just... I ain't never seen anything like it is all!"

Pinkie inflated with joy and started bouncing again. "I KNEW IT! It is pretty cool, huh? The antiques mare didn't even know what it was! It's probably one of a kind!"

Applejack looked sidelong at the object. "You c'n say that again."

Pinkie seriously resisted the urge to literally "say that again," having learned her lesson that it was just an expression. "Welp, I'm off to work! Enjoy your present, AJ!" As she started to walk away, she stepped on an errant marble and bumped into the apple cart. The strange object wobbled and fell into open air as Applejack dove to catch it. The object landed on Pinkie's flank as Applejack caught it in her mouth. A blue spark arced from her to the object to Pinkie and then a dizzy feeling fell over both of them. In an instant, the feeling was gone and they both stood up, wondering what had happened.

Pinkie shook her head, looking nonplussed. "Welp, see ya later AJ!"

Applejack waved a hoof weakly in parting and stared tentatively at the object. She set the thing behind the apple cart as a customer trotted up, forgetting about it for now.

* * *

Later that evening, Applejack returned to her home as the sun sat lazily on the horizon. She toted her apple cart up the hill to the barn and unhitched the latch at the gate. She parked the heavy cart next to the barn and undid the thick leather harness. She took a sack in her teeth and scooped in the unsold apples, along with a couple of carrots and some other vegetables. As she cleared away the last of the produce, she uncovered Pinkie's strange gift. She eyed it warily, remembering the weird feeling it gave her earlier that day. But then, she heard Twilight Sparkle's voice bouncing around in her head. You sure are superstitious some times, AJ.

Oh what the hay? It's just a piece of wood, right? She scooped the strange item in with her fruits and vegetables and headed into the barn. She set the produce down in the wooden box by the door and took the wooden item and headed up the stairs to her room.

She placed the object on her dresser and stared at it thoughtfully for a minute. But no matter how long she looked at it, she could not shake the feeling that something was just not right about it. That Pinkie Pie can be mighty strange sometimes.

Her little sister Applebloom trotted by the door and saw her looking at the object. She poked her head in and looked up to the top of the dresser. "Hey sis, what's that?"

"It's just a birthday present from Pinkie Pie."

Applebloom tilted her head and frowned. "But yer' birthday's not till next month!"

"Yeah, I know."

Applebloom stood with her head tilted to one side as she thought about that for a moment. Applejack walked out the door and patted her on the head. "Never you mind, Applebloom. Let's git' on down to dinner, now." The little filly shrugged and followed her sister down the stairs to the kitchen.

* * *

Applejack walked back up the stairs, her belly full and her eyes heavy. It was well past dark as she climbed into her bed, sighing in comfort at the soft pillows. She drifted peacefully off to sleep...

When she woke up, her room had changed colors. Where there had once been clean rustic furniture there was now piles of extremely bright clothes piled on the floor. She got up quickly and hit the floor, her head spinning with confusion. And then she looked down at her hooves.

Where there had one been two finely muscled forelegs with an orange coat, were two short ones covered in eye-popping pink. She started hyperventilating as she looked for a mirror. She found a dirty one shoved against the wall and covered with miscellaneous objects. Her heart stopped dead in her chest as she beheld, not her own face...

But Pinkie Pie's.

* * *

Author's Note

* In equestrian terms. Obviously they don't have feet, so they measure in "hooves", one of which is about six inches.

The Grass Is Pinker...

Applejack opened her eyes, her head spinning. That was some dream she had. It's like she had ACTUALLY been Pinkie Pie! She looked closer and saw that she was sprawled on a hard wooden floor. She picked herself up on wobbly legs and rose to her full height. She turned her head and caught her reflection in the mirror. IT was no dream! She was ACTUALLY Pinkie Pie! Applejack felt the world slowly fade to black as her hooves gave way, and she embraced the darkness...

Applejack opened her eyes, feeling a knot form on her head. When she reached up to touch it, instead of feeling her straight smooth hair, she felt a bush of wild curls. Her heart started racing as she looked at her hooves. On no, it DEFINITELY wasn't a dream. She picked herself up and turned to the mirror. Her heart caught dead in her chest as her vision began to reduce to blackened tunnels. She shook herself and quickened her resolve. NO, not again! Stay focused! Figure this out!

She paced around on her still wobbly legs, not in the least bit over her shock. She stepped over dirty piles of clothes and kicked a pair of rainboots with one missing away from her path. She realized that Pinkie was nowhere near as strong as her in the legs department. That made her REALLY uncomfortable. Her strength was her most defining quality! Just above honesty on the qualities scale!

She tried to steady her breathing as she thought out loud to herself. "Alright, think. Think, what happened here? Wait, Is that really my voice?" When she spoke, in place of her signature deep and smooth southern drawl was a high-pitched squeaking that was customary to Pinkie Pie. "Oh fantastic! Now I gotta' listen to THIS every time I open my mouth!" Honestly, Applejack had never had a problem with Pinkie's voice when it was coming out of HER mouth. Isn't it funny when things that don't bother you seem to REALLY bother you when you are the one doing them?

The first thing for Applejack to decide was who could help her out. Of course, the first pony to pop into her head was her librarian friend, Twilight Sparkle. There were so many books in that library, one of them was bound to have the info she needed! Besides, stranger things had happened to Applejack and her friends before, this would be no sweat! Right? She really hoped so...

* *

Getting past the Cakes downstairs was somewhat easy. They had asked if anything was wrong, and if she was feeling okay. Applejack attributed that to her lack of bounciness that Pinkie usually displayed. So she assured them that everything was A-okay, and faked a huge toothy smile. It would seem that Pinkie was acting strange so frequently that it became a kind of norm for her to do so.

Once she was out the door, she tried her best at skipping along like Pinkie, but failed miserably. It was harder than it looked! So she settled for trotting at a brisk and springy pace. She tried extremely hard to keep a smile on her face so that nopony would notice her being unusual. Every time she saw somepony walking towards her, she would flash them a huge smile until they were out of sight, where she would then deflate her face to a more comfortable position. Pinkie's face was a heck of a lot more used to smiling than hers was, but even so she had a hard time keeping it up for as long as she could.

She rounded a corner after giving out at least eight more smiles and sighed with relief as she saw the leaves of "Books and Branches' sticking out over the rooftops. She quickened her pace and ducked out of a few ponies' ways. She crept up to the door and pushed it open, slipping inside.

She crept along to the kitchen in the rear of the store, staying low. Pinkie's hooves were surprisingly quiet and easy to use for sneaking. She guessed that made sense, since Pinkie was notoriously sneaky.

She could hear a frying pan sizzling and Twilight humming a tune. She hissed to get Twilight's attention. "*PST* Twilight! Over here!"

Twilight looked back towards her and put the skillet of eggs on the counter. "Hey Pinkie! You need something? I was just making breakfast, want to join me?"

Applejack trotted into the kitchen nervously and shook her head. "No time fer that! There's somthin' really weird goin' on!"

Twilight cocked her head and stared at her. "Pinkie, why are you talking like that?" Applejack noticed that she was still talking in her southern accent, but in Pinkie's high-pitched voice. That was weird to hear.

"I'm not Pinkie, I'm Applejack! Somethin' strange is happening and I need your help!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and put the skillet back on the stove. "Very funny Pinkie. Nice Applejack impression. Is that all you wanted, or are you going to do Rarity next?"

Applejack grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her around to face her. "This is not a joke, Twilight! I'm the REAL Applejack! You gotta help me out, I don't know what's goin' on!"

Twilight gave her a calculating glance and wiggled free of her grasp. "Alright Pinkie, enough is enough. Don't you have to go to work or something?"

Applejack looked at her in utter shock. She didn't believe it was really her! It felt like Twilight had bucked her right in the stomach. She walked to the front door with her head hung low. When she reached the threshold of the door, she perked up with remembrance. " *GASP* My birthday present!" She rocketed out the door and into the street. Looking back, she could see Twilight standing at the door watching her leave with a sad expression on her face. If Twilight wouldn't help, it looked like her next stop was the antiques shop.

* *

Applejack trotted up to the antiques shop on the far side of town. The shop stood right between the Post Office and the pumpkin carving shop, and had a large painted sign depicting a dusty ancient earthenware pot being dusted by a feather duster hanging in front. Wreathed around the sign were the words; "The Attic Chest - Antiques Bought and Sold."

Applejack pushed open the door and walked inside. There was a bell hanging next to the door, but it had long since lost it's ringer and produced only a dull clanking sound when she opened the door. The interior of the shop was dark, musty, and smelled like moth balls. The dark wooden shelves were filled with all sorts of antique and priceless items from pieces of armor to ancient earthen pots. She could see a spot of white sticking up behind what would have looked like a counter had it not been covered in old scrolls and bits and pieces of antique whatnots.

The white something had turned out to be a pony's flank. As she moved closer, she could see that the graphic on the sign outside was an exact copy of this pony's cutie mark. The pony seemed to not hear her enter, having been very involved in something behind the desk. Applejack saw a bell on the counter and abruptly tapped it.

The loud ding of the bell broke the silent tension in the shop and sent the mare straight into the air with a startled scream. Applejack could see that the mare was fully white. Even her mane was a completely pure white with just a few thin stripes of faded pink. The pegasus mare clung to a support beam overhead, shaking violently. She looked at Applejack and squeaked out a few words. "Oh, h-hello."

She floated down to the ground and stood on shaky legs. She looked around nervously as she talked to Applejack. "W-what can I d-do for you today?"

Applejack mentally tried to repress her accent to sound more like Pinkie, which was no mean feat. "Hi! I bought a wooden carvin' thing in here a while back. Can you tell me more 'bout it?"

The mare nodded, which was almost undetectable with her shaking, and pulled out a spiral-bound notebook. She donned a pair of wire-frame half-spectacles and went down one of the lists on the page, mumbling to herself. "Hmm, no... um... okay, here it is!" She tapped the page with a shaky hoof. "You b-bought the wooden c-carving with the 2nd era runic carvings, yes? Miss, Pinkie Pie, was it?"

"Um, yeah, that's right! Um, I didn't get your name, did I?"

"Oh, no. I'm I-Iridescence, pleasure to m-meet you again." She held out a a shaking hoof which Applejack took very lightly, afraid she might hurt the poor mare. Even with Pinkie's lesser strength, she looked quite fragile.

"All I can r-really say is that the carving w-was very old. P-perhaps before L-Luna's fall even. I c-couldn't read most of the r-runes, but I know enough to r-recognize them as 2nd era futhark in origin. Whatever they s-said, it was f-for some kind of j-joint ritual, so d-don't touch anyp-pony else just to b-be safe."

Applejack thought back to the day Pinkie had given her the object. She HAD accidentally touched Pinkie while she was holding the thing! But what could this mean?

"Alright, thank you for yer' help! Hope to see you around Ponyville more often, Iridescence!"

Iridescence nervously waved and shrunk back behind the counter as Applejack left the shop. Now was the time to think about what had happened. She said it was a "joint-ritual" or something like that.

Applejack didn't normally like puzzles, but she was willing to solve this one if it meant getting her back into her own body. She started by using one of Twilight's techniques. Look at the information, and exclude the impossible. Well, for one,Applejack knew that somehow she looked like Pinkie. But if she LOOKED like Pinkie, then where was the real Pinkie? That couldn't be it because (A) She would have seen Pinkie by now, (B) If she only LOOKED like Pinkie, then why was she not as strong and her voice different? And (3) How could she have gotten from HER bed all the way to Pinkie's without even knowing it?

Taking all of this into account, Applejack concluded that since she looked, felt, and sounded like Pinkie Pie, she HAD to be the real Pinkie Pie. But that would mean...

Applejack stopped as her heart began to beat faster with realization. If she had been turned into Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie was the only other pony to touch the carving, then Pinkie Pie had also been turned into Applejack!

NOT good. Not good at all. Applejack looked around to find the clock that hung on town hall's face. The clock read half past eight. From what she knew, Pinkie didn't even get up until nine. Which meant that, if she had woken up in Applejack's bed like Applejack did in hers, she had to still be at the farm!

Applejack raced off down the road towards the farm, but only got to the first turn before she bumped straight into Twilight.

She was looking rather low for her usual self, and looked almost apologetic. "Pinkie, there you are! Look, I'm really sorry I snapped at you back there. You really do a great AJ impression, you just caught me before I had my breakfast. Are we still friends?"

Applejack danced impatiently on her hooves. "Yeah, sure whatever! Bye!" She sped off down the road past a bewildered Twilight. WOW could Pinkie move or what? She had to be going faster than she ever did in her real body! Why hadn't Pinkie entered the Running of the Leaves last year? She would definitely have left everypony in the dust!

She could already see the barn on top of the hill coming up through the apple trees...

And it was on fire...

* * *

...On the Other Side of The Fence

Applejack stood agape and immobile at the gate that circled her barn home. On the other side of the fence, the exact same barn home was burning fervently. All she could do was stare in horror at the sight before her eyes. Her legs locked in place, unable to move. Her eyes wide open to absorb every horrible second of the scene. Her home was BURNING, and she was too paralyzed with fear to do anything about it.

She heard the fast clip clop of hooves behind her. A second later, Twilight was panting at her side. "Pinkie *pant* what's the matter, I...." Twilight's gaze drifted to the barn on top of the hill, which was now extremely on fire. Sometimes, when something is so irreconcilably on fire that it would be impossible to put it out without massive effort, one can only stand and watch in horror, which is what both of these ponies were doing right now. The only thing which could have possibly turned their gaze away would have been Applejack's true body running towards the barn with a bucket full of water clenched in her teeth. Which is exactly what they saw.

The orange mare was looking around anxiously and running towards the barn with the water bucket clenched in her teeth. She tripped on a stone in the road and fell flat on her face, the bucket landing on top of her head and covering her with water. She looked up and saw Applejack and Pinkie standing at the fence gate, a relived expression on her face. "Hey, it's me! Twilight! You and me have to help Applejack put this fire out!"

Twilight shook the crazy out of her ears and did a double-take towards the orange earth pony. Her voice was the same tone, but her strong accent was gone. "Wait, hold on here..."

Applejack, still in Pinkie's body, grabbed Pinkie, who was still in Applejack's body, by the shoulders. "Pinkie, what did you do?!"

Pinkie shook her hooves off and grabbed her fallen hat off of the ground. "I'm not Pinkie, I'm Applejack! I woke up as Applejack, so now I'm gonna' play the cards I'm dealt!"

Applejack, the REAL Applejack, face-hoofed and shook Pinkie, the REAL Pinkie, by the shoulders. "This is no time fer' jokes Pinkie! WHY is mah barn on fire?!"

Pinkie, still in Applejack's body, took the bucket back up in her mouth and spoke around the handle. "I was tryin' to cook breakfast for my new Apple family, but I couldn't find the eggs, so I went upstairs to look for the chickens, but something made a squeaky noise and I got startled, and I accidentally knocked a lantern over onto a pile of hay!"

"Why would ya' look fer' chickens in the attic!!!" Applejack in Pinkie's body looked as though her brain was about to make several messy attempts at exiting her skull cavity via her eyeballs.

Twilight stepped between them and shoved them apart. "Um, hello! The barn is still on fire over here!" Pinkie picked up the bucket and headed towards the apple orchard. "Applejack, where are you going?!"

"There's a pond over here! GO grab some buckets and start throwing them at the fire!"

Twilight was still for a moment, but then jumped into action as an idea formed in her head. "We'll never get it out fast enough like that! Come on, I have a better idea!"

* *

The three ponies stood near the fire as Applejack, still in Pinkie's body, danced anxiously on her hooves while looking back and forth from the fire to Twilight. "Hurry up, Twi! Almost half the roof is gone now!"

Twilight gritted her teeth and growled under the pressure of the magic building up in her horn. It spiraled around and gave off oscillating glows of lavender and white. She growled out under the pressure. "Almost there!" The glow of her horn increased until it peaked about two hooves from the tip of her horn, sparks flying in all directions. The magical glow of her horn imploded on itself and burst outwards into the air over the pond. She fought to maintain her balance as a mini-cyclone formed and began to funnel a stream of water that sped out towards the burning barn like a firepony's hose. Twilight swung her head back and forth, spreading the spray over the barn, quickly dousing the fire.

Applejack bounced up and down ecstatically as the last races of fire were extinguished by the propelled pond water. "Twi, you did it! Thank you thank you thank you!" Twilight swayed with exhaustion as Applejack wrapped her in a hug.

A streak of rainbow shot through the air and and ended at a familiar sky blue mare that landed expertly on the ground before the three ponies. "Whoa, was there a fire here?"

"Sure was! Twi put it out right quick with her magic! You shoulda' seen it, it was amazin'!"

Rainbow Dash stifled a chuckle at the sound of Applejack's uncharacteristically high voice. "Wow Pinkie, nice AJ impression!"

Twilight tried to take a step forward but faltered and stumbled directly into Rainbow Dash. "Whoa, Twilight! What did you do?"

Twilight shook her head and tried to focus her eyes. "I lifted the water from that pond to put out that barn fire." She felt her legs start to give out under her once more. "Ugh, big mistake."

Rainbow Dash scoffed and propped Twilight up on her legs. "Well jeez, you could have just called me over! I could have just emptied a cloud on the barn, no sweat!"

Twilight's eyes focused into pinpoints before she face-hoofed and hung her head. "Take it easy, Twilight. I'll get you home safe and sound!"

Twilight happily obliged as Rainbow Dash hooked her forelegs through Twilight's and flew off into the distance towards Ponyville. Pinkie Pie and Applejack were left standing next to each other quite awkwardly in their switched bodies.

Applejack poked Pinkie in the ribs to get her attention. "Pinkie, where's that birthday present you got me yesterday?"

Pinkie blew a strand of Applejack's blonde hair from her face and readjusted Applejack's hat. "I dunno. In your room I guess."

Applejack scratched a spot on Pinkie's wild curly mane and trotted off towards the barn. "Come on, then! We're gonna fix this, whatever is happenin' to us." Pinkie trotted off after her, tripping on a stone and dropping Applejack's hat. She picked it back up in her teeth and flipped it back on as they headed for the barn.

* * *

This couldn't get any worse

"WHERE IS IT?!"

Applejack, who was in Pinkie Pie's body, was frantically tearing her house apart while looking for the birthday present that Pinkie Pie, who was in Applejack's body, had given to her even though it wasn't really her birthday.

Pinkie tried as best she could to find the present, but she had never been inside Applejack's home, and thus did not know in the slightest where to look. Normally her Pinkie senses would at least point her in the right direction, but they weren't seeming to work in Applejack's body. Which is probably why she didn't know the barn was on fire until after it had started.

Clothes and furniture flew recklessly across the room as Applejack searched for the object. Pinkie had tried to help, but she kept tripping up whenever she tried to do anything besides a slow walk. Applejack's body was much differently balanced than hers.

Applejack was now stretched out on the floor, hitting her head with her hooves in frustration. "Where is it! It was just on that dresser not but last night!"

Pinkie jumped as the door to the barn flew open, the rest of the Apple family barging in with obvious worry on their faces. "What in tarnation was that smokin' all about? Ya'll would think the barn had been on fire!"

Applebloom was jumping up and down in distress. "It was a fire! I saw it ma self! Applejack weren't out doin' her chores, and so I went to see were she was, and I saw the barn was burnin'!"

"Well, it's not a-burnin' now, now is it? Applejack, ya'll better have a mighty good explanation fer all this! First ya' up an' try to make breakfast, then ya' let the barn go burnin' down! What has gotten inta you, girl?"

"Honest, granny, I didn't! But it's all put out now, so there's nothin' to worry about!"

Granny Smith looked flustered for a moment and then rolled her eyes. "Now, Pinkie Pie, while that were an excellent Applejack impression, I was talkin' to ma granddaughter, if ye' don't mind!"

Applejack huffed and muttered under her high-pitched breath. "Alright, did any of ya'll see a wood carvin' about this big?" She said, gesturing with her hooves.

Applebloom quickly averted her gaze, a look of evasive shame covering her face. Applejack caught her look and prodded her further. "Applebloom, did you take that carvin'?"

"Well... yeah, but, I just wanted to look at it, honest, miss Pinkie!"

Applejack sighed and ignored that comment. "Well, where is it now?"

Applebloom's face once again erupted into shame as her eyes began to dart around defensively. "I didn't mean to loose it! I took into my room an' then when I woke up, it was gone! I'm sorry! honest I am! I'll find it, I swear!"

Applejack looked down at the poor little filly. She could never stay mad at that cute little pouting face. "Don' worry 'bout it, Applebloom. It's not here, I already checked. C'mon Pinkie, we gotta go find this thing."

Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, and Applebloom stared at the both of them in complete and utter confusion as they cantered past them and out the door. Pinkie, who was feeling the most awkward she had ever felt, looked back at them with an apologetic glance.

After they had exited the fence that enclosed the barn, Applejack had started muttering to herself. Pinkie Pie endured the awkward silence for a moment, and after a few stumbles along the road in her new and alien body, she spoke up. "So... What's next? I mean, what's your present got to do with anything?"

Applejack stopped mumbling and looked Pinkie in her eyes, which had not but yesterday belonged to Applejack. "It's got everything to do with everything!" SHe picked up her pace in her excitement, forcing Pinkie to stumble along to keep apace. "That thing ya' got me, whatever it was, has somthin' to do with our current situation, and I'm aimin' to find out who and what and where and why. And ALL that nonsense, ya hear?!"

Pinkie jerked away from Applejack, who was now unconsciously shouting. "Alright, but just dial it back a tick, will ya?"

Applejack stopped and ran pink foreleg over her face, breathing deeply. "Yer right. Let's just get goin', is all I'm sayin'. Ya know? Don't wanna be stuck like this forever. It just ain't right." She continued forward, quickly but at a steady pace.

Pinkie stumbled once more, still failing to get the balance of her taller and heavier friend's body. "Yeah, but did you ever think that maybe this is just a normal thing? What if we've always had these bodies, and we're just both super insane and forgetting ourselves?"

Applejack scoffed, a little troubled by Pinkie's words. "Are ya'll serious? I'm NOT insane. I remember bein' Applejack, and I know you remember bein' Pinkie Pie, so go on and git that idea outta yer head. *Psh* insane my flank."

Ponies around town had said a lot about Pinkie in the past. Nothing too hurtful, but there were some concerns pointed her way not too long ago. Sure, everyone was a-okay when she was throwing them a party, but she had seen their glances at the market place, and she knew what it was like to question her own sanity regardless. It was fleeting, but she caught the look on Applejack's face. She had seen that look all too often, but only from her own face. How ironic then, to see it once more, a literal mirror image of her past strife played on the face of her friend.

But hey, sanity ain't all it's cracked up to be!

"So, we should go get Twilight, right? I mean, she's like, the go-to girl when it comes to weird magic stuff!"

"That's hittin' the nail on the head there, Pinkie. She weren't too convinced when it was just me tryin' to get help, but I reckon she'll believe you, bein' that yer' me. Or look like me. Or, whatever!"

Pinkie laughed internally at Applejack, her face scrunched in thought. She would have skipped along right beside her, but the LAST thing that Applejack's body was made for was skipping. Pinkie hung her head with a sigh, realizing just how much she missed skipping. That was like, her main thing! She was all about skipping! This couldn't get any worse.

* * *

Twilight answered the knock at her door, a wet towel wrapped around her head. She looked at Applejack and Pinkie Pie standing in front of her with an expression of exhaustion. "Hey girls. Come on in, but try to keep it down, okay?" They both stepped through the doorway, consciously softening the clopping of their hooves at Twilight's behest. "Moving that much water gave me a really huge magic-hangover. That was a real bonehead move back there. I should have just called Rainbow over. I'm SUCH an idiot!"

Applejack placed a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Don't say that, Twilight! Yer' the smartest pony I know! Besides I can't thank ya' enough fer puttin' out that fire! If it weren't fer you, the whole barn woulda' burnt straight down to the ground!" Twilight gave Applejack another of numerous puzzled looks she had received today. She was getting really tired of this business. "Right, that's what we're here for. I'm bein' serious when I tell you that me an' Pinkie have somehow switched bodies! I'm askin' ya as a friend to believe me, so we can get back to normal!"

Twilight looked skeptical, a look that was not uncommon to her. She glanced over Applejack's shoulder at Pinkie Pie, standing in Applejack's body. "Is it true? Are you really not Applejack?"

Pinkie nodded confirmation towards Twilight. "It's true, Twilight! Normally this would be a pretty funny joke, but it's not funny 'cuz it's for real! And besides, I don't do a very good AJ impression at all, which is strange, since obviously my body is capable of sounding like Applejack, even if it's not her usual pitch, since I guess that accents have to do with learned experience and not muscle memory, since that would mean-"

"ALRIGHT! I believe you!" Twilight rubbed her head with a hoof, levitating the wet towel from her head and setting on her shoulders. "Well, since Applejack could never talk for that long, and if this WAS a joke, she wouldn't lie about it, I guess I have no choice but to believe you two."

Applejack threw her legs around Twilight's neck, squeezing her with Pinkie's unnaturally strong hugging muscles. "Thank ya so much, Twi! What say we get this thing dealt with already?"

Twilight looked like she was fighting back the urge to break up the extremely uncomfortable hug, while Pinkie snickered at the spectacle. Applejack loosened her lethal hug-vice as Twilight put pressure on the bridge of her muzzle just between her eyes with a hoof. "Okay, um... think Twilight, think... was there some kind of magical item you two came in contact with?"

"Yeah! I got AJ this carving for her birthday, not knowing it wasn't her birthday, and then we both touched it, and we woke up, and THIS happened!"

"Sure nuff! That antiques mare said it was some ancient carvin' with old futher-somthin' runes from up north. Somthin' to do with a joint-ritual, if that helps at all."

Twilight wordlessly picked a book from one of the shelves, seemingly at random, and began flipping through the pages while still nursing her massive magic hangover. Her eyes still half-closed from the light in the room, she pointed to a page of the book. "Did it look anything like this?" On the page was an artist's rendition of a cylindrical artifact shaped like a spool, carved all over with runes and two familiar apples.

"That's it! That's the exact same thing!"

Twilight shut the book, releasing a cloud of dust, and set the book back on the shelf. "Yep, that's your run-of-the-mill joint-ritual totem. Pretty old magic, and NOT to be trifled with, but it's a little too late for that. Just bring it back here and you two'll be back to normal in no time."

Pinkie and Applejack both looked at each other anxiously. "Well, that's the thing Twi. I went lookin' for it, but my lil' sister went and lost it somehow, and we couldn't find it anywhere! Is there any way you could reverse this without the totem?"

Twilight groaned and swayed a little more heavily on her legs. "I could give it a try, but it will take a lot longer than if we had the totem." Twilight steadied herself as best she could as her horn flared to life with magic, touching both mares with a faint glow of pink magic. Her horn gave off a cloud of sparks and then sputtered out as she stumbled and fell to the floor.

Both mares gasped and ran to her, helping her back on to her feet. She shook herself awake and groaned in agony. "Sorry girls. I'm in no condition to try that spell without having the totem here. I'm just going to get some rest, and you two can come back tomorrow when I'm not completely debilitated."

Applejack and Pinkie looked at each other mournfully as they helped Twilight back up to her upstairs bed. It seemed like they would be stuck like this for at lest a little while longer.

Once Twilight was put up to bed, both mares walked back down the stairs (pinkie tumbling down the last few on accident) and walked across the library towards the door. Pinkie sighed and shook her head. "I guess we can wait a little longer, unless we can find that totem thing." She sighed an even deeper sigh. "At least this couldn't get any worse, right?"

By the ironically heavy hand of fate, a succession of rapid knocks barraged Twilight's door just before a frantic Rainbow Dash kicked it in. "Twilight! We got some serious trouble out here! Grab the Elements of Harmony, It's an emergency!!!"

Pinkie plopped down on Applejack's haunches and lifted her front hooves into the air.

"AW, COME ON!"

* * *

I Spoke Too Soon

Applejack's stomach did several double back flips as she looked out the door of Books and Branches. The entire tree-library was floating about twenty feet in the air, much like several other houses in the vicinity.

She inhaled sharply and skidded away from the edge of the door and back into the library, hitting her back against the horse head bust in the center of the room. Pinkie Pie inquired what was wrong with her, and inquiry that was shortly put to rest as she stumbled back out of the doorway, screaming in terror.

"Dashie! What's going on out there?! Why is everything floating?!" Pinkie had propped her back up against the very same bust as she hyper ventilated out of Applejack's mouth.

Rainbow Dash snorted and made her way up the stairs to the bedroom loft. "Take a wild guess! Notice anything familiar?"

Applejack trotted to the window to look outside, but her view was obscured...

...by a cotton candy cloud.

Off in the distance, Applejack could see a little cloud about the size of a couch. And riding atop this couch was a very familiar amalgamation of animal parts. "No way..."

Applejack shook her head while muttering her disbelief as she backed away from the window. A moment later, Rainbow Dash flew down the stairs with the limp form of Twilight Sparkle hanging from her forehooves. She set her down on the floor in front of the two body-swapped ponies. "You guys! What happened to her?! We need Twilight awake so we can use the elements!"

Applejack ran around the library, looking for where the elements might be. "Oh great, just great. GREAT GREAT GREAT! This day couldn't have gotten any worse, and Pinkie had to go an' open her huge mouth!"

Pinkie stopped hyperventilating long enough to shoot Applejack an angry glare. "Hey, it's not my fault! How was I supposed to know this was gonna' be one of those days!"

Applejack paused in her search, a pile of books building up behind her as she searched the shelves for the secret door where Twilight kept the elements. "IT WAS ALREADY ONE OF THOSE DAYS!"

Rainbow Dash sat in the middle of the library, the two earth pony mares bickering loudly as Twilight still layed unconscious at her hooves. She grunted and Yelled out at them both. "You guys, stop it right now!! We need Twilight up and ready pronto! This is no time for stupid arguing!"

Pinkie abruptly stopped the argument and face-hoofed. Applejack shuddered and really hoped Pinkie didn't just leave an embarrassing bruise on her face. "I'm such a huge dummy! I could have fixed Twilight right away!" She reached around to her flank, stopping once she realized her current situation. She turned around to Applejack and started pawing at the air around her with her hooves.

"Pinkie, what the hay are you doin'?"

Pinkie huffed and sat back down on her rear. "I had one of Zecora's brews stashed away for a situation just like this one! And OF COURSE now that I need it, I can't find it!" She swatted around Applejack's flanks a few more times before giving up and sitting back down. "You'll have to get it! You're in my body, you can find it!"

Applejack looked around for a good while, trying to figure out what she was talking about. She was obviously not wearing any saddlebags, so she had no idea where she was supposed to find this 'magical brew.' "What they hay am I s'posed to do? Pull it outta thin air?"

"Yes, exactly!"

Applejack gave Pinkie her most extremely puzzled looks. In fact, she had gotten so good at making puzzled looks, that her abilities had soared through the rungs of the puzzle-ladder and had finally reached the ultimate tier of puzzling looks. A puzzled look that puzzled so infinitely into space that all of the world's secrets became privy to her in the vastness of her mortal brain. But she could access none of them, because that was a really stupid analogy that was totally untrue. Pinkie huffed and waved her hooves around in the air. "I dunno how it works! Just pretend you're going to grab something out of where a saddlebag would normally be!"

It was at this time that Applejack's mind began to spiral into the depths of the fathomless unknown. It is the point in which she realized that nothing else that could possibly happen today would possibly be normal or sane at all. So she went along with the insanity.

She swiped a hoof at her flank, and she'd be darned if a little vial of glowing green liquid didn't just roll right across the floor to Twilight's forlorn frame. Rainbow Dash quickly seized the vial and poured it's contents directly into Twilight's muzzle, not even stopping to consider what the eerie green liquid might be.

The group of three ponies waited anxiously as at first, nothing happened. Then suddenly, Twilight's horn began to vibrate wildly out of control, sparks of all colors flying out into the air. Her eyes shot open as she inhaled powerfully through her mouth, her irises tinted with a faint purple glow. She immediately jumped onto her hooves and started running circles around the library, rambling fast-lipped nonsensities as she went.

"OHMYGOSHI'VENEVERFELTTHISGOODICANTASTESOUNDWHYAMISOHYPERINEEDSOMECANDYRIGHTNOW!!!"

Twilight stopped dead in the center of the three ponies who were now eyeing her with a growing sense of worry, all but Pinkie, who was clapping her hooves together and chanting, 'it worked, it worked, it worked, I knew it!' Twilight trotted manically in place, trying her very best to look every which way at once, her legs a restless lavender hurricane. "OK, we need to get going here! Lets go, come on! Where's the Elements? Where where where where, OH WAIT I know!" Twilight spun around and faced the bookshelf in the furthermost corner of the library, knocking books aside with incredible alacrity and strength. She revealed a horseshoe-shaped indention in the wall and then promptly rammed her hoof against it as many times as she could. The old piece of paneling had started to open the first time she touched it, but her constant and overactive hoof eventually ripped it from it's hinge mechanism, exposing the Elements in their gilded chest.

She grabbed the chest with her magic and flung it through the air at Pinkie, who caught it right in the chest. If she hadn't been in Applejack's body, the blow might have crushed her rib cage. Twilight threw open the lid and sent the Elements flying through the air at a very unsafe speed towards the three other ponies' necks. Their respective Elements each clasped a little too tightly around their necks, causing Rainbow Dash to fly back and hit the opposite wall, and throwing Applejack into a back flip before landing solidly on her face.

Twilight danced around in circles, quickly talking away as she tried to jam her tiara onto her head in the right position. Eventually, her gait began to decrease in speed, and she was left huffing and puffing in front of the three ponies, a sweat breaking out on her forehead as her knees shook uncontrollably. "What *wheeze* was that stuff, Pinkie? *wheeze*"

Pinkie fought to loosen the Element around her neck, speaking with a raspy voice under the pressure. "One of Zecora's brews! It's got something called coca leaves and some extract of epinepy-epinerpy-whatever. And limes. She said it would restore a unicorn's magic if she burnt out, which I guess it did! Yay me!"

Twilight wheezed some more as she fought to steady her shaking knees and wipe the cold sweat off of her forehead at the same time, her pupils retracted to pinpoints. "Don't ever get me to drink that stuff again, okay?" She walked shakily over to Rainbow Dash, who was nursing her wing and a sore neck, where she was sure there would be a lightning-shaped bruise tomorrow. "Okay dash, what do we need the Element's for?"

Rainbow Dash pointed out the door with a hoof. "Take a look yourself!" Twilight obeyed, walking up to the door and stopping just inches from a surely fatal fall. Down on the ground, Fluttershy and Rarity were waving at her, trying to get her attention. She followed their gesturing until she was looking at the all too familiar form resting on a bank of clouds and floating through the air as if Ponyville were his twisted little pool. She gasped and ground her teeth together, drawing out the unspeakably horrible monster's name like a curse. "Discord!"

She pivoted around and faced Rainbow Dash, her composure somewhat regained after her ultimate potion rush had settled down. "Alright, I don't know how, and I don't know why, but Discord's back. Our only chance is to go down there and hit him with the Elements as fast as we can, before he can do anything tricky. Dash, you take Apple- er, Pinkie, and I'll teleport Applejack and me down with the others, okay?"

Rainbow Dash gave a salute and grabbed Applejack under the crooks of her front legs and flew out the door in one smooth motion. Twilight gave the remaining two Elements to Pinkie, who caught them cautiously in her hooves. Twilight hooked her legs around Pinkie's now much thicker and orange neck, and grunted with effort as a blinding glow enveloped them both and whisked them away through the fabric of space.

They both appeared on the ground next to the two remaining members of the group, flinging their respective Elements towards them quite unceremoniously. Rainbow Dash dropped Applejack safely to the ground and circled around until she was standing with the group of six legendary ponies, their stances ready to deploy the power of friendship.

That infamous draconequus drifted by, a coconut glass with a little pink umbrella clutched in his eagle claw. He drawled a lazy and placid greeting as he pushed the cloud around with one goat hoof towards the group and lifted his bejeweled sunglasses with his lion paw. "Oh, hey you guys! Fancy seeing you here! Do you vacation here often?"

Just then, a pleasant little cottage drifted errantly towards him, prompting him to flick it's aside, which sent the house and the several screaming ponies inside rocketing off into the distance. He twisted around, resting his chin on his paw-and-claw as he wistfully kicked his feet in the air. "Sooo, how you guys doing? Long time no see, am I right?"

Twilight stepped forward and willed her tiara to glow. "Don't listen, girls! Let's hit him with all we've got, NOW!"

Discord rolled his eyes and drifted a little closer to the group of ponies. "Oh, I forgot to ask, who are the new bodies working out? Adjusting well, I presume?"

The three other ponies who weren't in the know looked at each other questioningly. Applejack stepped forward, her best intimidating voice negated by Pinkie's squeaky vocal cords. "You no good trickster! I oughta' string you up like a piñata and beat you senseless fer switchin' us up like this!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, the grinning draconequus had donned a collared shirt with a pocket protector, along with a bowtie and a pair of thick-rimmed spectacles. He gasped and gestured towards himself. "You wouldn't dare hit a guy with glasses, would you?"

His indignant smirk was washed clean off of his face by a flying cupcake that hit him right between the eyes. He wiped the frosting off of his face to reveal a demon-like snarl. He flicked the frosting to the side, causing it to collide with a second house, only to blow it into a million tiny pieces in an inexplicable explosion. Discord discarded his sunny disposition and continued his discourse. "So, you want to play it like that, do you? Well, how do you like THESE APPLES?!"

A torrent of literal apples began to fall all around the girls' heads as they expertly dodged all of them. Twilight stood triumphantly in front of the Formation of Harmony, scoffing at Discord's attack. "Ha, you call that an attack? Eat Harmony, villain!" The lights of the Elements merged together to create one swirling vortex of rainbow light, which converged high above them and came crashing down on Discord he screamed in terror as the rainbow light turned him back into a silent and un-moving statue.

Twilight jumped up and down in triumph as her friends gathered around for a group hug. "We did it girls! We defeated Discord again! Now all of Equestria is safe!" The group of ponies cheered a triumphant cheer. Twilight stopped as her face grew serious for a moment. "But there's still one ore thing to take care of." The world became an infinitely dark plane, with only one spotlight shining down on Twilight. Out of the shadows stepped none other than Applejack, still stuck inside Pinkie's body.

"Twi... w-what is this?"

"I have a confession to make, Applejack. I'm madly in love with you!"

"W-wha? But Twilight, it'll never work! This relationship can't possibly work while I'm stuck inside Pinkie's body!"

Twilight rushed forward to embrace Applejack, her hooves caressing softly through her pink curly hair. "Hush, Applejack. Now's not the time for words, now's the time for love!"

"Oh, Twilight!"

"Oh, Applejack!"

"And then, they kissed! Mwah, mwah, mwah!"

"Wait, WHAT?!" Twilight and the other's had somehow been unknowingly sitting down in a row of theater seats as Discord pressed the mouths of two disturbingly life-like puppets together while making obscene kissing noises.

"I wrote a fan-fiction of you guys while I was doing my time in the proverbial pokey! Do you think the plot could use a little more substance?"

Twilight got up and bucked the theater chair away, a fire growing in her eye sockets. "Enough fooling around! Girls, form up!"

As the six friends gathered into their formation, the lights of their Elements shone brightly as they converged into a twisting vortex of rainbow light. Discord conjured up a large dartboard and mockingly strapped himself to the center, giggling with malicious glee. Instead of coming down hard on him, like last time, the rainbow light began to flicker as the colors began to run together and become dull. The rainbow light of harmony floated sluggishly towards him until in dropped to the ground with a dull thud and dissipated.

Twilight looked at the fading light and shuddered, shaking her head back and forth. "No, no! It has to work! Try it again!" Discord let loose his poorly contained laughter as the Elements flickered uselessly the second time.

He popped off the dart board and rolled around on the ground in his laughter, causing Twilight's face to glow a bright cherry red. "What did you do to the Elements, you... you... PANSY-EATER!!!"

Discord stopped in his reverie to release a long and exaggerated gasp of surprise. He calmly got up, walked over to Twilight, and firmly shoved a bar of soap into her mouth. As she choked on the soap, trying her hardest to remove the soap from her tongue, Discord exploded into a fit of unstoppable chuckles. "Oh, oh, it's too much! My ribs! Hoo hoo hoo, my ribs!"

While Discord laughed away, and with the three other ponies staring at the odd spectacle with utterly confused glances, Applejack and Pinkie Pie both inspected their Elements. "Hey, Pinkie. Did yer Element glow when we did the thing?"

"Nope. I thought it was a little weird, but I didn't say anything. Why didn't it glow?"

Applejack looked down and tapped Pinkie's blue balloon Element. "I dunno... Hey! maybe since we switched bodies, we gotta keep our same Elements! Quick, lets switch real quick!"

The two took their bodies' respective Elements and switched them around. Instead of feeling the warmth emanating from the gem when she donned it, Applejack felt nothing but a cold golden collar with a plain old gem in the middle. "I dpn't understand! It's not workin' like it should!" She turned around to face Discord as she dropped the whisper and spoke with her full voice. "Hey, you dirty menagerie mish-mash! What did you do to the Elements?"

Discord stopped laughing and let the struggling Twilight free from his extended arm and let her fall to the ground. He huffed and rolled his eyes derisively. "Well, isn't it obvious?" After a few negatory head shakes, he rolled his eyes, literally this time, and appeared next to them. "Must I spell out everything for you ponies? Look, it's very simple. The Elements were the only thing keeping me imprisoned in stone. Sooo, I switch a couple of Elements arooound..." a very familiar carving sprouted up out of nowhere between his eagle claws as he spoke. " ... and the chaos that ensues is enough to release the Elements' hold on me, allowing me sweet, sweet freedom!" Discord punctuated his last sentence by rapping the totem on both of their heads. "DUHHHHHH!"

Twilight, who had been fuming in silence, took the opportunity to fling herself at Discord with a jarring battle cry. She plucked the totem from his clutches in mid-air and landed solidly on her hooves, the totem clenched between her hooves. "Hey, no fair! Give it back or I'm telling!"

Twilight spat out the totem and caught it with her magic. She turned to the two switched mares and hurried them forward. "RUN! NOW!"

Applejack and Pinkie set off after Twilight at a breakneck speed as Discord lunged for them with his claws outstretched. Just as he was reaching the apex of his flight, however, he had found that a pink and very trendy scarf had been wrapped around his hind legs. He dropped to the ground with a solid thud as another scarf entangled his upper extremedies. The embodiment of chaos struggled around on the ground as a prim and proper unicorn flipped her gorgeous hair triumphantly. "Curse you, you beautiful fiend!"

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings a few times and then perched on top of his arched back. "Are you serious? You can like, teleport and stuff! Why are you letting a few flimsy scarves hold you down?"

Discord's mouth formed into a tight line as his eyes focused into pinpoints. "Oh, but of course! Thank you ever so much, Rainbow Dash!" He patted her on the head and then promptly vanished, leaving a pile of limp scarves. Rarity shot Rainbow Dash a dirty look, which she responded to with an apologetic smile.

* * *

Twilight ran breathlessly through the warped alleyways of Ponyville, stopping to look around the corner and see if both Applejack and Pinkie had followed her complex twists and turns. She relaxed a little as they both caught up to her, panting like so many tired doggies. She set down the totem and pulled both of them aside so she could arrange them to face each other over it. "Alright, we only have a little time before Discord finds us, lets do this and get you two back to normal! Just stare at the totem, and touch it when I say so!"

The both of them nodded their acquiescence as Twilight lowered her horn to the totem. "Here goes nothing!" A quick burst of magic from her horn illuminated the totem, which in turn illuminated both Pinkie and Applejack. Twilight was about to say something when a loud bang and a flash of light sounded off in the alley behind them.

Twilight looked over the two entranced mares as Discord arose from a perfectly circular smoking crater. He was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses that allowed the light from two mechanical red eyes to shine through. "Hasta la vista, filly." He stepped slowly and deliberately towards them, his feet coming down hard on the cobblestone pavement with oddly mechanical whirring sounds. He grabbed Twilight by the throat with a vice-like grip, lifting her off of the ground.

Twilight focused on her horn, which caused a beam of concentrated magic to come down hard on Discord's offending arm. The blast tore the scales of his eagle claw apart, revealing a menacing mechanic limb. Twilight recoiled at the sight and strained her throat to yell. "Now! Touch it now!"

The two mares reached out their hooves simultaneously and placed them down on top of the totem. A strange pink light floated out of Applejack's body as it met with the orange glow that was escaping from Pinkie's body. The two lights began to mingle together and then floated slowly towards the opposite mare.

Discord quickly looked down and removed his glasses, returning back to normal. He bent down and picked up the totem as the two monotone auras were sucked into the totem like a vacuum. "Oh no you don't!" He dropped Twilight in the midst of her two now unconscious friends while he held up the totem into the air, laughing maniacally.

Twilight rubbed her throat and coughed a raspy laugh. "Wha-*ack* did you do to them?"

Discord looked down on her, an inexplicable darkness spread over his face, a few stray cracks of lightning resounding behind him. "Oh don't worry my little pony. They're perfectly fine and unharmed. They'll just be taking a nap now... and quite a long one at that."

Twilight stood shakily to her hooves, still nursing her sore throat. "You're a monster! A hideous monster!"

Discord bent downwards and pressed his face against Twilight's muzzle, a manic chuckle drifting down her spine. "Tell me something I don't know!"

* * *

Empty

Black, cold emptiness. Nothing in sight anywhere, just blackness and cold and nothingness. It was so black, that Pinkie Pie tried to wave a hoof in front of her face, and couldn't see a thing. Of course, this presented another problem. Pinkie couldn't feel her hooves anymore. In fact, she was not even sure if she had actually had hooves at any point in time, or if that was just something she had made up during her time here in the black and empty nothingness. To go even further, the notion of time began to send her head spinning, as she had no idea where her time in this emptiness began or if it would end at any time soon. Had she just always been here? Was there anything else besides her in here? Was her name really Pinkie Pie? Did she just make that up too?

Such questions raced through Pinkie's arguably-existent mind as she floated through the emptiness. Well, it wasn't really like floating, since she couldn't feel anything around her like the cool liquid presence of water or the sensational touch of wind and air, both things which she could have made up at any point to describe the feeling.

At any rate, and all existential questions aside, Pinkie decided that she could not have just made up all these things in her mind, and that she was going to search for them in this vast emptiness. This presented another problem. Namely, she had no idea if she was moving in any direction. She couldn't even see her own body, another likely fantasy she had concocted.

So instead, she imagined herself flipping over through the emptiness, like a rotating... thing. And what she saw was quite promising. When tilting her awareness at a certain angle, she could see a thick pink cloud of wispy gaseous material glowing brightly in stark contrast to the blackness around her.

This was excellent! Now, she had full confirmation that she did indeed have a body! It might not be exactly what she imagined, but it was something! She imagined racing forward through the darkness, the cloud of pink smoke that was her body billowing as though in the act of moving at a great speed. While she shot through the empty space as fast as she could go, she thought about the situation she was in. She did indeed have a body. That was good. It was also good to know that she actually was pink, another fact she had thought was just her imagination.

As she raced through yet more emptiness, her memories began to return to her. So far, she had a pink body and her name was Pinkie Pie. She had indeed felt all those things, such as water and air, and the grass beneath her hooves, of which she had none right now. This was not a problem, as she was determined to figure this situation out no matter what. The 'no matter whats' being far and few between now that she was in the black emptiness, which was a stark contrast to the world of blues and greens and beautiful shapes that she remembered.

And so Pinkie thought as her memory pieced itself together as she traveled through the blackness. At some point, after remembering that she was indeed a pony, she had fashioned her formless extremedies into legs and hooves, along with a tail and a head set with two glowing blue points of light. After what seemed like hours according to the reference guide of time from her memories, she saw a tiny speck of light appear in the distance. Seeing no other objects to target, she poured all of her speed into racing towards that light, which glowed a bright orange in the distance. Her memories were still somewhat returning, but in the recesses of her mind, she just knew that that cool shade of orange was very very familiar.

The closer she got, the more she could hear a faint voice calling out in the distance. At first, she couldn't make out what it was saying, but as she got closer, the voice, and a very familiar voice at that, seemed to be calling out her name! She could hear it, just barely, as she approached the orange light with ever increasing speed. "Pinkie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie, are ya' there? Pinkie, where are ya'?! It's me, Applejack!"

Applejack? *gasp* Applejack! Recognition flooded Pinkie's mind as she raced forward as fast as possible in her gaseous form. Memories of the years spent with friends flooded her mind, one after the other, as the name evoked her memory to fill itself even faster. Eventually, she caught up with the light, which was an orange cloud, roughly pony shaped much like hers. "Applejack!" Her cloud-body collided with the orange cloud body of her newly remembered friend, the specks of green light set in the orange form dimming down to pinpoints in surprise. They collided together soundlessly, their gas forms never mixing, as they careened through the endless nothingness in a euphoric embrace. "AJ! It's you! its really really you! Oh, thank goodness, I thought I was gonna go crazy in all this blackness!"

Applejack flailed her legs around as they floated carelessly through the void, thoroughly startled by Pinkie's sudden embrace. Once she had gotten up to speed, Applejack returned the embrace, feeling none of it in her current state, but thankful for it nonetheless. After a few increasingly awkward minutes (or however long it was, it's really hard to tell time in this place) of silent hugging, Applejack nervously cleared her throat to get Pinkie's attention. After a few more minutes of even more awkward silence, she cleared her throat again, louder this time, and quite impressively so, seeing as how she didn't have an actual throat to clear. After even more silent hugging from Pinkie, Applejack pushed her away impatiently. "Alright, that's about enough o' that! Where exactly are we, Pinkie?"

Pinkie floated away slowly, her gaseous forelegs crossed sullenly in front of her. "How should I know? I just re-remembered who I was like, two hours ago! Or, however long it was..."

"Yeah, I'm still sorta pickin' up the pieces myself." She tapped her hoof against her practically non-existent face. "There's somthin' mighty important I'm forgettin' here... You got anything yet, Pinkie?"

Pinkie set her brow and shook her head thoughtfully. After a few minutes, Pinkie spoke up to break the awkward silence. "Hey AJ... Have you ever thought that we could be like... more than friends?"

Applejack tilted her head in a rather suspicious manner while replying in measured tones. "What do ya' mean, Pinkie?"

She waved a hoof around in front of her in an explanatory manner. "You know, like... marefriends. Like Lyra and Bon Bon."

Applejack began to sputter in complete and total befuddlement. If she had been in possession of her physical cheeks, they would almost assuredly be blushing furiously right now. "Wha- who- thats- P-Pinkie! What the hay! Are you pulling my leg or somthin'?!"

Pinkie threw up her gaseous pink hooves in a placating gesture as she recoiled from Applejack's staunch opposition. "No, its just... well... I've never seen you around any other stallions, and I just thought, maybe, you know, you're not into stallions maybe?" After yet more befuddled sputtering, Pinkie continued. "No wait! I mean, I care about you AJ, and I just want you to be happy, and you're always spending so much time around the farm that I thought you might not have any time to find a special somepony, and I thought, 'hey, why not me?', cuz we're the only two earth ponies in our group of friends, and maybe we would go good together!" Pinkie was now thrown into a fit of tearless sobbing as she laid her heart out before Applejack like a spread of decorative cheese crackers at a party. "I just want you to feel loved!"

Applejack immediately retracted her harsh attitude as Pinkie's syrupy sentimentality was poured sloppily over her now fragile heartstrings. She floated closer to Pinkie Pie with outstretched hooves. "Oh Pinkie, that's awful sweet of ya' sugarcube... but my barn door just don't swing that way. But it's okay, really! You know I always put the farm before my personal problems, and if that means I don't find that right stallion, then that's okay with me! I'm just glad to know ya' really care about me."

Applejack and Pinkie Pie shared a warm and strictly platonic embrace that neither of them could feel, on account of their current gaseous forms, although it was still touching nonetheless.

For some reason, the strictly platonic hug that they shared began to jump-start Pinkie's memory and flood her brain with images of the immediate past, including the reason that they were imprisoned in the endless darkness. She gasped in a lung-full of non-existent air as the memory hit her square in the temporal nose. She reared back with her hooves outstretched to the relatively-positioned sky and bellowed with an ear-shattering bellow. "DISCOOOOOOOOOOORD!!!

Suddenly, hundreds of motes of light appeared out of nowhere, seemingly at Pinkie's summons, and began to converge in upon themselves until they formed a swirling point of condensed light. With an explosive flash, the light expanded into a flat surface, its edges beginning to swirl slowly like the waters of a whirlpool. Different colors swiftly separated themselves until the two gaseous ponies were staring into two asymmetrical eyes set into an elongated grey face. A voice echoed outwards to them as if from the other end of a long tunnel. "What? What could you possibly want?! I can't even hear myself think with all the racket you're making!"

Applejack gasped in sudden (if not somewhat delayed) realization. "Discord! I knew I was missin' somthin' important! You get us outa here right this second before I hang you upside down like a piñata!"

Discord huffed and rolled his eyes derisively. "Oh please, what are you going to do to me from inside this little prison of yours?" As if by his command, the entire space that they occupied started to shake uncontrollably, like they were two flies in a glass jar. He sighed as the two ponies slowly regained their bearings. "Anyways, I'd really appreciate it if you two would keep it down in here. Your friends are becoming real nuisances, disrupting my chaos with their incessant whining and escape attempts. I swear, it's almost like they don't enjoy all of this constant chaos I'm creating! Do you know how hard it is to get every house in Ponyville to explode in a completely unique way?"

Both of the ponies gasped in shocked horror. Pinkie Pie was about to say something, but she spotted a little speck of purple just beyond Discord's massive head. She stuck out a hoof to her side and motioned for Applejack to remain quiet. After a questioning glare, Pinkie motioned with her head to the side of Discord's head. Applejack's eyes expanded with understanding and gave a quick nod. "Well, I was just going to tell you guys to keep it down, so I'll be going. Have fun swimming around in nothingness forever!"

As soon as Discord moved his head, Pinkie interjected frantically. "Wait! Um... how many ways did you explode all the houses in Ponyville?" After a long and questioning look from Discord, Pinkie started to sweat profusely. Or she would have, if she was in possession of her actual body, but you get the point already.

Without warning, his face lit up in total glee. "Ah, a true entropy appreciator like myself, I see! You were always my favorite of the group! You know, I haven't talked to anybody about chaos in... well, ever! Oh, where do I begin? Okay, there was this one house, garish pink paint with little yellow flowers on it, honestly I was doing them a mercy, because let me tell you, it was just ghastly. Anyways, I started with an implosion on the north-most corner, then..."

Pinkie plastered on her biggest fake smile and nodded enthusiastically as Discord prattled on about the horrible ways he had destroyed all those poor ponies' houses as if it were no more than recounting a game of hoofball. She pretended to be interested, wincing inwardly at the increasingly violent ways Discord had destroyed the houses of Ponyville. Slowly but surely, Twilight crept up behind him with her horn sheathed in a lavender glow. Pinkie tried her best to watch without giving herself away as Twilight steadied herself and closed her eyes in concentration while she began casting whatever spell she had concocted.

Halfway through an account of that little pale green two-story place that had met its demise by way of colorful acid paint, Discord immediately stopped his home-icidal commentary and stood as still as the statue he had once occupied, his furry grey ears twitching to the side. He contorted his face in rage until his eyes were no more than two flaming specks within a field of bloodshot yellow.

Pinkie winced at his terrible gaze as he turned around just in time for Twilight to hit him squarely in the face with a bolt of frozen air. He cursed loudly as he swiftly broke off the column of thick icicles that had formed on his face. As he lifted the column of ice pointed towards Twilight, a blur of sky blue collided solidly with the back of his head, breaking his goat horn with an audible snap and eliciting an even louder string of unbearable cursing.

Suddenly, the world around the two ponies began to rumble and jar them violently as the screen of light switched from the scene of the battle to a picture of the Ponyville sky that had been cluttered with all too familiar cotton candy clouds, including a few new green and purple clouds that they could only guess were right now in possession of much fouler substances than chocolate milk. As soon as the undersides of both Rarity and Fluttershy could be seen bounding over the screen, a bright orange and red explosion lit up the field of view and it flickered and dispersed into nothingness.

The two friends sat there in horrified silence, glancing back and forth from each other to the space where the screen of light used to be. After some audible choking sounds, Applejack found her now unsteady voice. "W-what was that? The explosion right there at the end, you saw it, right Pinkie?" Instead of replying, Pinkie simply stared at her hooves while muttering to herself. "Pinkie? You think they're alright? Pinkie?" She floated over to Pinkie until she was close enough to here what she was muttering to herself.

She looked up at Applejack, her bubbling gaseous mane beginning to dissipate and hang downwards like a low fog. "Did you see how angry he was? All he wanted was to talk to someone who understands him! It's not like he has anyone to talk to while closed up in his stone prison!"

Applejack scoffed and put her hooves on Pinkie's shoulders. "Oh, c'mon now, sugarcube. This is Discord we're talking about! You know, the evil lord of destruction who just walked up as calm as ya' please and destroyed everyone's houses? Probably including yours? Ain't no reason to go feelin' sorry about that old beast!"

Pinkie looked up at her, obviously conflicted. "I know but... didn't you see that one little moment of betray on his face, right before he went super angry? That was so horrible! What if someone came up and started talking to you about, *psh* I dunno, apples or something, and then you're super happy that you've just made a new friend, but then you find out they were just stalling you so their other friend can whack you upside the head with a shovel while you're not looking?!"

Applejack made an indignant little noise while rolling the two points of light that served as her eyes. "Oh, be fair Pinkie! You know as good as I do, that old rat would do the same 'n worse if we gave him the chance!"

"But doesn't that make us as bad as him?"

Applejack reared back from Pinkie, clutching her pseudo-stomach where Pinkie's logic had left a large and painful looking theoretical horseshoe-shaped bruise. She never thought that at any time in her life would Pinkie make so wise an observation, which only exacerbated her recoil at the cold hard and merciless truth that she had just released straight into Applejack's gut. She even went so far as to vocalize her feelings. "P-Pinkie... you just said somethin' awful wise! I didn't know you were so philosophical!"

Pinkie pulled away from her sullenly and faced the other direction. "Of course you wouldn't. Why would the happy little party pony be able to understand deep ethical quandaries? She might hurt herself if she tried to actually think!"

Ouch. That cut deep. Applejack held her hoof over her mouth as little lights started to flicker on inside her head as she started to make connections. What she had just seen was not the Pinkie she knew. What she had just seen was the Pinkie hidden deep under a layer of confetti and balloons. What she had just seen was herself...

Applejack had dealt all her life with self esteem issues concerning her intelligence. Oh look, it's the dumb farm pony, I bet she can't even count to ten. I need some advice, who should I go to? Applejack? But she's just a dumb farm pony, what would she know? Oh, hi Applejack. What were we talking about? Oh, nothing you would understand. It had taken some considerable work to get over those feelings of inadequacy, and she had to go into it completely alone. And here was this poor mare, all alone in the boat that Applejack had occupied not so long ago.

Applejack couldn't help but conjure up images of all those times she had disregarded anything that came out of Pinkie's mouth. Because nothing she ever said could have ever been anything more than irrelevant nonsense. All those times she had looked at her and seen nothing more than a ditsy airhead party fanatic. All those times, she realized, she had been looking at a mirror image of herself, and had treated that mirror image with the same haughty contempt that had broken her spirit so long ago.

If Applejack had been in possession of her stomach, she would have been throwing up right now. After all those years, she had slowly turned into a hypocrite without even knowing. Now when she looked at Pinkie, she saw that same head hung down low. She saw the same look of defeat and worthlessness. And for the second time in her life, when she looked at Pinkie Pie...

She saw herself looking back at her.

Applejack approached the hunched pink frame and embraced it, her non-existant tears coming forth unbidden. She hugged as tight as she could while awkward sobs escaped from her heaving gaseous diaphragm. "Pinkie, I'm so so so so sorry! I've been hurtin' you the same way that I was hurt, and I didn't even have the heart to see it before my own eyes! I know just what you're goin' through, and I wouldn't wish that on anypony in the whole world! If I was you, I wouldn't ever forgive me!"

Pinkie turned around, her eye-flames swollen in emotional approximation to their physical counterparts, as she returned the emotional hug. The two strictly platonic friends shared this emotional hug for quite some time until their purely metaphorical tears were all dried up. They both disentangled themselves and patted each other on the backs. "I gotta' admit, that cry felt mighty nice. *sniff* I can't remember the last time a cried that good."

"I know! I can't believe that worked!"

Applejack eyed Pinkie Pie warily. "Can't... believe... what... worked?"

Pinkie Pie clamped her hooves over her mouth to suppress the laughter that was building up inside of her. She let her breath out in a triumphant exclamation. "I finally got you to express your emotions through crying! NEW WORLD RECORD!!!"

Applejack's eye-flames began to twitch as her mind spiraled into a corkscrew of disbelief. So it was really true. Pinkie was smarter than she looked. "So what, all that self-loathin' was just a ploy to get me TO CRY?!"

Pinkie was visibly trying to hold back a well of laughter bubbling inside of her. "Come on, Applejack, I thought you knew me better than that! I'm the Element of Laughter for Pete's sake! I have a responsibility to spread laughter and joy, not philosophy and ethical quandaries!"

Applejack struggled to hold back the temptation to kick Pinkie's face in, even if it would technically have been a fruitless effort anyways. "Besides, you did say it felt good, right? I was kinda doing you a favor!"

Applejack sighed and hung her shoulders in defeat. "Whatever. You ain't ever seein' my cry again though, so don't get too used to it!" Pinkie's geyser of laughter had finally burst forth and was now echoing through the darkness around them and somehow lessening the darkness to a shade of very dark purple. As she continued to laugh, however, Applejack noted that the darkness was indeed lightening and turning to an oscillating deep lavender.

Pinkie stopped her intense giggling in order to witness the change in scenery herself. They both floated there, stock still, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, the space around them began to vibrate violently as their gaseous forms began to unravel themselves from their rough pony shape. Without warning, their pink and orange flames began to shoot forward at an alarming speed towards a point of light in the distance, stretching their smoky essence into two thin lines as they rocketed forward with screams from Applejack and excited whooping from Pinkie Pie.

Finally, they both reached the end of the tunnel and collided solidly with the bright purple light, feeling all their senses return normally to them as they were flung unceremoniously back into their bodies. Applejack, in particular, had only a second to look around her and see a forlorn potpourri of different animal parts lying broken and bloody on the ground before passing out into yet more total darkness.

* * *

Subterfuge

Pain. Terrible, head-splitting, brain-twisting pain. This is what Pinkie Pie felt as each of her senses returned to her in full force all at once, like a mob of obese ponies in line at Sugarcube Corner on Half-Price Pie Day. Touch trampled all over her sensitive head, which had hit the ground quite hard at some point, and was swiftly elbowed to the side by sight, which assaulted her eyeballs with unnaturally bright pastel colors and the intensity of the afternoon sun. Sound pumped up the metaphorical jam and amplified the voices of her friends circled around her, trying to see if she was okay. Even Fluttershy's voice became incredibly and intolerably loud. Taste and smell kind of hung out to the side, waiting for the hoopla to die down. But you know those guys, they never contribute to anything unless there's food involved.

Pinkie sat up with a start to see that Applejack was in a similar state as she lay beside her on the cobblestone pavement. She looked past the circle of her worried friends as a distinct pile caught her eye. Laying in an amalgamated heap of different animal parts was none other than the Prince of Potpourri, the Shogun of Slapstick, The Earl of Entropy, (shall I go on? NO? very well.) ~***~Discord~***~.

Upon closer inspection, however, Pinkie Pie gasped in horror as she beheld the pool of red staining the ground beneath the forlorn draconequus. A rush of adrenaline propelled her onto her feet in order to blow right past her concerned friends. She approached Discord's body anxiously as she got closer, now noticing the stump where his goat horn had snapped off, and the blackened and frayed patches of hair on his elongated torso. As she beheld his sorry state, she forced back the lump that was growing in her throat ans circled around his back to get a better look at his face.

She braced herself for the worse as she closed her eyes, wiping away the tears forming there as she pried them back open to behold Discord's face...

Totally fine.

He laid on the ground before Pinkie with a defeated scowl sprawled across his face. Defeated, but definitely alive. All of the anxiety flew out of Pinkie as she turned around to see her friends helping a now unconscious Applejack over to Discord and her. "Wow, what did you guys do to him?"

Twilight, who was splattered wit the same incriminating red liquid and sporting a few singed spots in her mane, huffed as she set Applejack down gently to the ground. "Well, when I saw he was distracted by that totem that you and AJ were trapped inside, I got everypony to team up so we could execute a surprise advance, starting with a strategic-"

"Twilight bashed him with an ice spell, and I dive-bombed him with a two-point-barrel-buck-blitz while he was distracted! Snapped his horn clean off!" Rainbow Dash brought her hooves down in front of her in a snapping motion.

Pinkie Pie winced as she looked back at the jagged stump protruding from his head. "That had to hurt... it'll grow back, right?"

Discord laconically retorted from his position on the ground. "Hm? Oh yeah. Whatever." He stuck a thumb into his mout and blew until his cheeks puffed out to either side. Like an inflating party balloon, his missing horn instantly grew back to its original state. He then sighed deeply and traced a claw along the ground in little circles.

Rarity shouldered her way to the front of the group to signal everypony's attention in her usual flamboyant manner. "Oh, but Rainbow Dash darling, you forgot the most riveting part! Why, I've never seen such an intense game of chess in all my years!"

"And Twilight won?"

"Why, naturally, darling! She is quite the strategic mastermind!"

Pinkie Pie looked back and forth between the apathetic Discord and the singed Twilight. Before she could ask her question, Discord let out a low grumble and spat out a preemptive reply. "She cheated me, that's how! I've never seen such a dishonorable use for a ketchup bomb in all my life! Which is quite long, mind you!" He sighed and dropped back into his defeated pose, muttering under his breath. "Beaten by a pony... beaten by a simple little pony... me, beaten by a pony..."

Twilight coughed nervously as Discord's mutterings fell away into awkward silence. "Anyway, Princess Celestia will arrive shortly, ready to depart with one extra statue. That is, of course, when Applejack wakes up."

Pinkie Pie kicked at the ground and lowered her voice to a whisper as she approached Twilight and her four friends. "Um, actually, I wanted to talk about that with you guys." She pointed over her shoulder to Discord. "But, in private."

Twilight eyed Pinkie speculatively before reigning the group in a tight circle and casting a thin bubble of magic around them. "Alright, this is a soundproof spell, we're now perfectly concealed. Now, what did you want to talk about, Pinkie?"

Pinkie scratched the back of her head and then took in a deep breath before continuing. "I don't think we should turn Discord back to stone!"

The uproar of disagreement from her surrounding friends was placated by Twilight's upraised hoof. "Now girls, however far-fetched this idea sounds, Pinkie obviously has a reason she thinks this is the most prudent course of action. Right, Pinkie?"

Pinkie listlessly kicked at the ground some more while staring at the ground. "When I was in that totem, Discord started talking to us. But, I saw you guys trying to ambush him in the background, so I started talking him up to distract him, you know? He was so happy I wanted to talk to him about chaos! He said he hadn't talked to anyone like that in like, forever! But then... he looked so sad when he figured out I was just listening to distract him... I just think all he really needs is a friend, you know? Someone who can talk to him about stuff so he doesn't have to hurt ponies for fun!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Pinkie, this is Discord! Do you really think he's just gonna' leave us alone because he made some friends? He's pure, unrated chaos! As long as he's out in the open he's gonna' make trouble, so the only choice we have is to turn him back to stone." Rainbow folded her legs in front of her and hovered in place.

The group was silent for a moment as furtive glances were thrown around inside the bubble. Looking around desperately for an ally, Pinkie's eyes alighted on Fluttershy as she gasped in triumph. If anything, her innate kindness would translate to a little compassion for Discord. "Fluttershy! You haven't said your opinion yet!"

Looking up suddenly from behind the curtain of her mane, Fluttershy looked around nervously at the expectant face of Pinkie Pie, and the questioning and rather intimidating faces of the other three ponies. "Well, um, gee, I don't know..." Her gaze shot past Pinkie and caught the figure of Applejack, standing now, with her back against the soundproof bubble. "I think we should wait and hear what Applejack has to say!"

* * *

Applejack opened her eyes as soon as she felt a sticky cold substance start to seep into her side. She awoke with a shock and put a hoof to her side reflexively. When she saw her hoof was covered in a red liquid, she tentatively brought it up to her tongue and cautiously tasted it. She jerked back in surprise at the savory taste of tomatoes. "Ketchup? What the hay?"

A deep sigh from somewhere behind her caused her to jump in surprise. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a forlorn Discord moping on the cobblestone street. She backpedaled a few feet away in shock until she fell on her flank. After a few minutes her fear began to drain away as he held the position and showed no signs of getting up. She trotted over to him and poked him with a hoof. "Hey, ain't you supposed to be makin' a mess of things or somthin'? What gives, why are ya' mopin' around?"

Discord swatted her hoof away and crossed his forelegs sullenly. "What's the point? You miserable little ponies ruin my fun every time I come around here! I knew I should have started off with Manehatten this time."

Applejack scratched her head and looked at him puzzlingly. "What'd they do to ya' to take the vinegar out of ya' like this? I thought nothin' short of turnin' ya' to stone would stop yer' maniacal rampage."

Discord grumbled loudly and rolled over to face Applejack. "She beat me, okay?! Twilight Sparkle, an insignificant little pony, beat Discord, Lord of Chaos, in a chess match! She had the gall to cheat before I could, and hit me with a ketchup bomb so she could check mate me at the last move!" After receiving only more puzzled looks from Applejack, he continued. "Why do you think I chose to come to Ponyville, of all places, when I could easily cause ten times more chaos in a crowded city like Fillydelphia, or Manehatten? All I ever wanted was to rustle your jimmies and then make you six obnoxious technicolor mules concede to defeat at the hand of a superior being! But as you've shown me quite clearly today, I'm obviously not even capable of defeating a pony just shy of three thousand years my junior at a simple game of chess!"

Discord rolled over so that he faced the other way and sighed deeply once more. "I'm done. I'm not fighting you ponies anymore. Turn me to stone, I don't care. What's the point of living if I chaos isn't fun anymore?"

"What? I thought you loved chaos!" Applejack sat down by Discord with a huff. "I think yer' bein' just a mite dramatic, dontcha' think? You can't up and denounce chaos just cuz' Twilight beat ya' at chess! She cheated, so it was hardly a fair match! You woulda won fer' sure if it was fair!"

Discord looked skeptically at Applejack over his shoulder and squinted his eyes. "Why are you consoling me? I'm the bad guy, and you're the good guy, remember? I'm the one who inadvertently switched your body with that of your friend, causing you heaps of emotional strife! Why are you taking my side?"

"Wait, how did you do that, exactly? The totem, I mean."

"Oh, that was nothing. I just made sure the pink one liked the totem, and she did the rest. A very simple low level compulsion spell. Now, if you would, answer my question. Why are you and the pink one being nice to me?"

Applejack lifted her hat and scratched at her mane, which had gotten stained in a few spots with ketchup. "I can't explain it, but somehow Pinkie Pie," she said, emphasizing the name in the hopes of making it stick. ", has it in her head that yer' worth givin' a second, or in this case I reckon a third, chance. She was all tore up over leadin' you on like that in the totem."

Quite suddenly, Discord's sour expression turned into a teary puppy-eyed visage. "Really?"

"Really really!"

After a few seconds, Discord caught himself and returned to his sour expression of distaste. "I mean, I don't care!"

Applejack chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Anyways, when you've been through the wringer and back with somepony, you come to trust their reasonin' to a certain degree. I reckon if Pinkie's okay with ya', then I can at least give ya' a chance. Besides, if you betray me, I can always just turn yer' sorry ass back to stone, right?"

Discord gave a nervous little laugh and tried to hide his discomfort under a nonchalant veil. "Right, you know I might have been just a little rash with all the 'don't care if you turn me to stone' nonsense. It was just the heat of the moment, I suppose, heh heh... So, what will be done with me, anyways?"

Applejack sighed and tipped her hat back. "Well, I'm willin' to let this all slide, s'long as you fix the town and promise not to muck everything up. But I'm not so sure my friends will be so forgivin'."

For some reason, Applejack had entirely forgotten that she could see none of her friends around, which was highly unusual. She stood up and started looking around for them. "Hey, speakin' of which, were'd everypony go?"

Discord, now propping his chin on his paws pointed behind him with his tail. Applejack turned around to see the incredibly obvious dome of bright purple magic that she had somehow not noticed, probably because she is very observant. Her friends were all standing inside and looking out at her. Before she could say anything, however, she found herself being pulled forward by an invisible force until she had penetrated the magic bubble and stood front and center in the now crowded circle of her friends. "Ya'll mind tellin' me what's goin' on here?"

Pinkie Pie abruptly threw her hooves around Applejack's legs and stared up at her with pleading eyes. "AJ! You were just talking to Discord, right? You remember seeing him when we were in the totem, right? Sad eyes, second chance, love and harmony and acceptance, right?!"

Twilight stepped forward and tried to pry Pinkie away from Applejack as gently as possible. "AJ, for some reason Pinkie thinks Discord deserves another chance. Do you think that's true?"

Applejack pushed up her hat and nodded sagely to the group. "That's right." She ignored the confused and defiant outbursts from Rainbow Dash and Rarity and continued. "I'm not real sure if he's gonna' behave or not if we let him loose, but I say there's only one way to find out, and that's to give 'im a second chance. Plus, we can always turn him back to stone iffin' he acts up, right?"

Applejack and Pinkie, who was still grovelling at Applejack's hooves, looked pleadingly at the other four in the group, who were all casting unsure glances at each other, all except for Rainbow Dash, who folded her forehooves staunchly against her body coupled with a face that bespoke grim determination.

After some uncomfortable silence, Rarity stepped forth and produced a torn half of a dress from her saddlebags. "I'm sorry dears, but I can't in good conscience let that brute run free so he can commit heinous crimes such as this!" She thrust the torn garment further through the air. "THAT is just the icing on the cake of the rest of my stock once Discord got his filthy hands on them!"

Rainbow Dash floated forward and filled the space Rarity made as she stepped back. "Yeah guys, you should really get off the crazy wagon and face the facts! Discord's all about chaos, and he'll never be safe enough to let out on his own!"

All present turned towards Fluttershy for the next vote in the impromptu consensus. She was now visibly shaking as she looked between Applejack and Pinkie and the rest of the group. Both sides gave her pleading lances, which only caused her to become even more nervous before she finally spoke up. "I-I-I don't think Discord is safe! I'm sorry, but I just think he might, well... he's probably still really bad. I say, we turn him to stone, I guess."

Applejack looked back to Twilight, along with Pinkie, whose eyes were starting to tear up. She cast her gaze downward while she spoke. "I'm sorry guys, but the majority wins. Plus, I already contacted Princess Celestia, and she'll be here shortly to receive him. I know you think he's capable of assimilating to a chaos-free lifestyle, but we can't take any chances if we don't know for sure, which we don't." Twilight looked back up at the two ponies as she dismissed the soundproofing bubble. "I hope you two aren't mad at us, but its for the best, you'll see."

The others dispersed from the bubble in order to circle up around Discord. Meanwhile, Pinkie lay on the ground and close to tears as her hair began to go flat. Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder, a determined gaze set in Twilight's direction. This was far far from over. She leaned down and whispered silently in Pinkie's ear. Pinkie went from sad to curious to positively elated as Applejack conversed with her in secret. She motioned for Pinkie to stay quite and gave her a knowing wink. Pinkie, almost full to bursting with excitement struggled to keep quiet and regain her composure so she could look genuinely sad, a feat which was almost impossible in her current state.

Twilight poke Discord in the side, which elicited a small yelp. "Alright, Discord, let's get a move on. The Princess will be here to pick you up in less than half an hour."

Discord gave her a wolfish grin as he sprung to his hind legs. "Pick me up? Are we going out on a date? But this is so sudden!"

She growled and turned away, motioning for everyone to circle up and start moving. The six friends stood in a six-pointed star formation with Discord at the center, who was walking along compliantly yet warily. "Sooo... why haven't you guys turned me to stone yet?"

Twilight made an indignant noise at him and addressed him without turning around. "Because the Princess' carriage is meeting us at the East gate. And because I don't feel like hauling half a ton of stone across town."

Discord laughed nervously and then reverted to total silence. The formation walked him along through the streets of ruined Ponyville and out through the town square which was littered with broken carts and other such detritus. Quickly and discretely, Applejack tapped Discord's tail, which hung limply in front of her. He jumped slightly and slid his eyes around the back of his head quite disturbingly. Applejack, despite the unsettling spectacle, lifted her hat and gave him a knowing wink. After a brief second of confusion, the eyes on the back of Discord's head caught a glimpse of the object under the hat and lit up with understanding, winking back at her before sliding back around to the front of his face.

Twilight may be good at chess, but it looks like Applejack has her ace in the hole. Which, now that she thinks about it, is not a very apt expression to use for a chess analogy. A forward knight, perhaps? No, that's not it. Applejack was never any good at chess. She would think of something though...

* * *

Applejack stood just behind Discord at the East gate to Ponyville, which had been turned into chocolate at some point. She shifted her hooves anxiously as the landscape around them became absolutely quiet. For some reason, there were no ponies in sight, and the ones she had seen had been shacked up in a few makeshift shelters made from the scraps of their destroyed homes. Finally, a glinting speck of gold and silver appeared in the horizon, heading straight for Ponyville at an impressive pace.

As the outline of the Princess grew, Applejack caught Discord's eye and gave him a curt nod which he returned silently. After a few minutes of tense silence and Twilight straightening the tiara on her head more than seven times, the Princess finally touched down in a carriage with a team of eight pegasi guards, two for her personal carriage and six for the trailer carriage fitted with a magnificent stone plinth. The Princess alighted from her carriage and walked gracefully to the group of ponies, nodding deeply to each in turn.

"Good afternoon, Twilight. I suppose you know were Discord is at the moment?"

Twilight gave the Princess a strange look and continued. "Um... yes. He's standing right behind me!"

The Princess responded by raising an eyebrow at her student. "Is he?"

Twilight frantically turned around to find a cardboard cutout that sported a crudely drawn caricature of Discord, which was knocked over by a light gust of wind.

Twilight began to hyperventilate as she searched in each direction for the escapee. "I-I-I... but he was RIGHT THERE!!! I know it! Girls, where did he go? You had to have seen him, WHERE DID HE GO?!!"

The group of ponies turned their attention to the space where Discord had been, eliciting several gasps from the group. "My goodness, Twilight, look! The town, it's-it's..."

"Fixed!" Exclaimed Pinkie. The town behind them was indeed intact as if the entire ordeal hadn't even happened. Groups of ponies stumbled blearily out of their repaired homes and looked about as if awoken from a deep sleep. If Twilight were just a few inches shorter, her jaw would have been dragging along the ground.

The Princess turned her gaze to Applejack and Pinkie Pie over the rejoicings of Rarity, who had found the dress in her saddlebags completely restored. She stared at them enigmatically as Applejack shifted her hat, which was suspiciously more bulbous than normal. She caught their gazes, which became worried and frantic as her eyes bore down on them. After a few intense seconds, however, she gave them a discrete wink and a slight smile, which allowed them to release the collective breath they had been holding.

"Well, Twilight, girls, I believe you have everything under control here. Just contact me if you have further trouble. I would like to stay, but Royal business and all that, you know how it goes." The Princess mounted her carriage and nodded to the team of guards, who pulled away at her command.

Applejack lifted her hat ever so slightly and she and Pinkie shared a victorious hoof-bump. Twilight, meanwhile, had slumped down to her haunches and continued to stare at the repaired town and the ponies who were slowly but surely returning to their everyday routines.

Applejack and Pinkie trotted merrily through the town as the rest of their friends tried to raise Twilight from her stupor. "Hey AJ, tea for three at my place?"

Applejack patted the bulge in her hat and sidled up closer to Pinkie as she pronked along the cobblestones. "That sounds mighty fine, Pinkie ol' pal."

* * *

Epilogue

The service bell rang as Pinkie Pie pushed open the door to Sugarcube Corner, struggling to fit a large rectangular frame through the door. She managed to finally fit it through and then hopped up the stairs past the kitchen in her peculiar way. She gently opened the door to her room and trotted towards the little wooden box that was bathed in afternoon sunlight. She set the square frame against her dresser and carefully pushed her door closed so as not to attract the attention of the Cakes, who should be closing up shop right about now.

She walked over to the wooden box and gently lifted the lid, revealing a small wooden carving inside. She picked it up slowly and set it down gingerly on a nearby stool.She raised a hoof to tap the wooden totem but stopped midway as she heard the stairs creaking as somepony approached her room.

She tip-hoofed carefully to the door and placed her ear in the middle of the wooden surface. She just barely heard a faint *tap*-*tap*tap*-*tap*tap* coming from the other side and pushed the handle down excitedly. Standing on the other side of the door was none other than Applejack, a scroll clutched in her mouth.

She led Applejack in to the room and silently closed the door behind her as Applejack spat out the scroll and began breaking the seal. "Ya'll should've seen the look on Spike's face when he delivered this! He looked about as confused as a rattlesnake in a barrel!"

Pinkie raised her eyebrow in an inquisitive manner. "So, you don't feel bad about lying to Spike?"

Applejack huffed indignantly and waved a dismissive hoof. "I don't lie. I just... didn't tell him the truth. Besides, it's our letter, and none a' his business any way ya' look at it."

Pinkie resumed smiling and sighed wearily. "Yeah I guess. But the whole 'sneaking around' stuff is losing its charm pretty fast, am I right? It's like, if I don't tell someone I'm gonna burst!" To further punctuate her exclamation, she set off a hidden blast of confetti that exploded somewhere behind her.

Applejack 'tsked and brushed the colorful paper pieces from the letter. "We'll tell 'em all, when the time is right. But you know what'll happen if Twilight finds out any time soon."

Pinkie gave a confirmatory nod. "I know, she's going all out! You can't even kick a rock without hitting one of her matrix-crystal thingies! And whenever she steps out of her library, she's muttering to herself with her face in some book! Well... more so than usual, I mean."

Applejack sighed and flattened out the scroll on the floor with her hoof. "Well, let's see what the Princess has to say, and we'll figure out what to do from there."

Pinkie nodded emphatically and trotted over to look at the letter laid flat on the floorboards. The Princess' flowing script came up to meet them with a slight orange tint in the ink.

Dear Applejack and Pinkie Pie,

As you probably know full well by now, I am aware of that little stunt you pulled last week. Do not be alarmed if somepony other than yourselves happens upon this letter, for as you will see, I have very carefully attuned the ink I used to your own personal essences. You won't believe how difficult it was to lock on to just two of the Elements for the spell, but I'm sure that's a conversation more suited for Twilight's taste as I'm sure you'll agree. Anyways, to put your minds at ease, I am simply informing you that I do not plan to reveal the information of Discord's whereabouts unless given your full consent. I am taking a very large risk in trusting you both in the respect that you know exactly what you are doing. No doubt, Twilight is fervently searching for him as we speak, but I have a few assignments that might put her mind elsewhere and give you two some respite. Although I do trust both of your judgments, I will still require you to bring Discord to Canterlot as soon as you can for an evaluation. Hopefully whatever you are doing to him has finally brought out the good within him that I had been searching for all those years he was imprisoned in the royal gardens, because I have some very important plans for him if he is willing to comply. As for your reply letter, simply attach it to the inside of this letter, break open the seal and pour the contents on top of the two letters. Then simply set it on fire and it should return to me as intended.

Your Princess and friend,

---Celestia

Pinkie finished reading the letter and clapped her hooves together happily. "Great! That takes care of that! We'll go see the Princess in Canterlot some day this week, and then we'll figure it all out from there! Wow, it feels good to have a plan!"

Applejack got up and searched for some writing supplies on Pinkie's cluttered desk across the room. "You got that right! I'll start that reply letter now, how's next Thursday?" Applejack turned casually towards the large covered rectangle resting against the dresser and poked a hoof in its direction. "Say, whatcha' got there?"

Pinkie approached the totem on the stool and tapped it in the secret code she and Applejack established. "It's a present for our little friend!"

After tapping the totem, it vibrated violently for a split second and then lit up to display two asymmetrical yellow eyes. A disembodied voice echoed through the room, seemingly from nowhere. "You rang?"

Pinkie nodded ecstatically and pranced over to the covered rectangular frame. "I got you a super special 'haven't destroyed anypony's life in three days' present! I haggled it from my new painter friend Black Easel for a hooffull of beads and a poem about a flower!" She grabbed the canvas covering and pulled it away to reveal a large painting about a pony and a half high and two ponies long. The immaculate white canvas was splattered with an array of different shades of blue red and orange in seemingly random splatters and streaks. Applejack frowned deeply and tilted her head to the side at the 'modern art' that the fancy ponies seemed to be all about these days.

The little yellow eyes lit up, coupled with an elated gasp. "Oh my stars! I love it! Look at how the blue accentuates the fragility of society across the powerful strokes of the red establishment of government! And the orange, so brash and intrusive! I feel so naughty just looking at it!" Applejack tried tilting her head to the other side, but found none of whatever Discord was seeing in this painting. In fact, she used the word 'painting' very loosely. If asked before hand, she would have guessed a couple of mischievous foals had been throwing paint at each other and the canvas got in the way. "Oh, Pinkie Pie, you've outdone yourself! I'm making this the center piece of my sitting room!"

Before Applejack could ask the obvious question, the painting began to rattle in its frame until it was sucked into a space no bigger than a coin before disappearing into the totem. She trotted over to the totem and stared into the hole in space that was torn open right in front of her. Inside, she could see a cozy little sitting room, complete with a lush looking green couch, which Discord sat upon, and numerous other furniture arranged tastefully and stylishly around the area of the sunken pit surrounded by curving light brown walls, one of which bore the painting that Pinkie had brought. "Huh, I guess I was expectin' somethin' a little more chaotic."

Discord chuckled lightly and snapped his fingers. "Oh, you're just looking at it from the wrong angle." Immediately, the room turned a full 90 degrees as the walls and furniture began to elongate and stretch into blank nothingness behind them. It happened so fast that Applejack had to look away before the spectacle started to hurt her eyes.

Applejack walked back to the writing desk, shaking off all the strange things which she had just witnessed. She rolled up their reply letter in the original and turned around to face Pinkie. "Alright, where's the fireplace?"

"I don't have a fireplace! Just use the fire-pit!"

Applejack looked around, not seeing anything. As she turned back to the center of the room, she saw an inexplicable ring of bricks with a metal bowl in the center that had not been there a second ago. She then looked up at the ceiling to see that it was perfectly flat with no smoke holes. "We can't burn this in here! How are we gonna' vent the smoke? Wait, have you been usin' this thing without a ventilation hole?"

In response, Pinkie simply tilted her head and kept smiling in the same fashion as usual. Applejack sighed and walked over to the left-most wall where the window was set, sighing as she opened it up. Hopefully, they wouldn't die of smoke inhalation before the letter was sent.

After placing the rolled up letters in the charred fire pit, Applejack took the enlarged seal that the letter came with and bit one end of it. She then carefully pinched her hooves together on the opposite end and tore open the seal, making sure not to let any of the strange green liquid inside escape into her mouth. After sufficiently soaking the letters, she took out a box of matches from her saddlebags, lit one of them, and threw it into the pit, praying to Celestia it would work. After a few anxious seconds of waiting, the parchment began to burn around the edges before igniting into a bright green fire that covered the entire scroll without burning it further. After a few more anticipating seconds, the fire around the scroll flickered out before imploding into a tiny ball of green fire that shot out of the open window like a flaming sparrow. Surprisingly enough, Applejack knew exactly what a burning sparrow looked like, after having seen one fly out of her barn on a completely different occasion in which it was on fire. For some reason, that barn was fairly prone to disaster.

Applejack wafted the familiar draconic scent away from her nose while looking back at an ecstatic Pinkie. "Wow! That just might be cooler than when Spike does it! We gotta' get the Princess to send secret letters more often!"

Applejack snickered at Pinkie's enthusiasm and walked over to Discord's totem. "Hey, fella. You get all that from the letter?"

Discord's eyes made an indignant little noise and turned a 360. "Are you implying that I was reading over your shoulder? Because that's a very rude thing to do!"

Applejack stared at him, her mouth set in a hard line. He sighed and rolled his eyes again. "Okay, Thursday's good for me as well. Thanks for asking before sending the letter off, by the way."

Applejack ignored his cynicism and raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not afraid to go up b'fore the Princess? Not even a little anxious?"

"Oh no. In fact, Celest' has been rather polite ever since... oh, I'd say about eight hundred years after my initial imprisonment. Of course her ramblings about 'friendship this' and 'yadda yadda harmony that' got a tad irritating after about three hundred years or so, but she at least kept my statue clean when she wasn't there trying to bore me to death with one of your friendship adventures." His eyes quickly shrunk in an almost apologetic fashion before adding, "No offense to you, of course."

Applejack smiled, an action which was reflected deep within herself. It seemed, for now at least, that she had made the right decision in allowing Discord clemency. After all, if she were in Discord's horseshoes, she would definitely not feel too comfortable standing trial before the powerful entity that had imprisoned her thousands of years ago, who was also the mentor of the pony whose friends had the capacity to turn her to stone at the twitch of a tail. Of course, if the past was any indicator, Discord was much too complex to fully understand. But if Applejack had learned anything from the past, it was that trusting her instincts usually had good results...

...usually.

"Ya' know what, Discord? I think we're gonna' be A-okay."

Pinkie bounded up next to her and draped a leg over her shoulder. "And how!"

Discord let loose an overly amused chuckle at the two mares before him. "Oh, come now, we can't end it like this! How heart-warming and cliche! Where's the intrigue? The unanswered questions? The ambiguously spinning top!"

"Oh dagnabit, just shut up and bring it in for a group hug!"

Discord sighed and sullenly removed himself from the totem. He sat on the floor, his arms folded as he draped his draconic tail over the two friends. "Fine, have it your way."

~*~THE END~*~

Author's Note

Well, that's it for my first completed story.
My utmost and greatest hope is to get this little sucker on EQD, if at all possible.
But even if that doesn't happen, I still have plenty more ideas to write about, a few I've already scrapped.
Rest easy knowing that you haven't seen the last of this author, no siree!