Hitmare

"Listen darling, I'm not trying to argue the matter. I just fail to see how that's paper."

Pinkie made a face at Rarity.

"How can it not be paper?" she replied, flustered. "Look, if you hold you hoof like this, it's paper, and if you do this you can make scissors!"

The unicorn raised a hoof to her mouth in shock at the abomination against all things anatomical that Pinkie had just committed. Fortunately, she was distracted by a knock on the door.

She shook her head and peeked out the window to see who it was.

"Oh ponyfeathers, it's Rainbow Dash!" she yelped. "And she looks simply dreadful!"

"Ooh, she's not going to knock the door down again, is she?" Pinkie smiled. "We only just got it back up again!"

"Yes, and we could do without ANOTHER rendition of "Raise this Door," thank you very much." Rarity sighed. The sole saving grace about Pinkie's little musical number about putting the door back together was how short it had been.

"Good evening, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity smiled, flinging the door wide dramatically. "It's quite all right darling, I understand that you couldn't keep yourself away from my wonderful boutique! Now, how can we help you?"

"Somepony wrecked my house." replied Rainbow groggily. "Don't know who it was...they're gone now...can I stay with you for the night?"

Rarity pouted as she looked her friend over critically.

"Well," said she, after a cursory inspection, "I suppose I can spare a bed...I mean, Pinkie and I were going to have a slumber party tonight anyway, and Sweetie Belle's away at the hospital with her little friend, but we simply must do something about your coat and mane!"

"That's the other thing I was going to ask you." Rainbow said as she half walked, half-crawled inside. "Is there any way you can fix this mess?"

"I might have a couple of ways to fix that. Ooh, we can do makeovers! It'll be so much fun!" Rarity clopped her forehooves together in excitement.

Pinkie and Rainbow exchanged a worried glance.

"Right! Who wants to go first?" Rarity gave a wolfish grin.

Pinkie pushed Rainbow Dash forward and shot off up the stairs.

"Oh dear...it's quite all right, Rainbow Dash. I'll catch her in a moment. For now, you definitely seem to require my services quite urgently. How did this happen, anyway?"

"I can't even begin to tell you! First somepony went and put a water balloon in a fake present, and then I got my flank dyed, and then my house got replaced with stormclouds! I mean, what the hay is going on?"

"Hmmm, it sounds like you have quite the prankster on your case, my dear." Rarity pouted as she started brushing Rainbow's mane and coat back into shape. I don't suppose you got a good look at them, did you?"

"Only once - OW!" Rainbow winced as Rarity tried to brush out a knot in her mane. "It was a mare, no doubt about that, and she had the weirdest sunglasses on! And she had this weird hat and tie! I've never seen anypony who looks like that before!"

"No sign of a cutie mark or anything? Hmmm, that couldn't be one of my clients, could it?" Rarity pulled out a mane straightener and got to work on Rainbow's tail and mane. "I do recall that a few pairs of my new sunglasses went unaccounted for when you knocked down my door today. Perhaps somepony swiped them then, but who?" The marshmallow unicorn frowned. "You're still paying for that door, by the way. Because of you, Pinkie sang a song. I don't think that you fully understand the gravity of what you subjected me to!"

"I'm - OW! Careful with that!" Rainbow scowled. "Look, I'm sorry about your door, okay? I'm sorry you had to put up with...whatever Pinkie Pie did! Right now though, I need you to help me find out who's doing this!"

Rarity pouted again.

"Okay, fine." She said. "If you'll help me chase down Pinkie, then I'll help you chase down your prankster. Do we have a deal?"

"Heh, no problem!" Rainbow grinned, spitting on her hoof and holding it out to Rarity. "You've got a deal!"

Rarity stared at Rainbow's dripping hoof, disgusted. "What is it with you ponies?"

* *   *

Pinkie Pie was hiding in Rarity's end cabinet. It turned out that it was a little bit too small for a full-grown pony, so she'd had to throw out all of its contents and kick the bottom out of it. Now she was a totally inconspicuous end cabinet, tiptoeing along on bright pink hooves. Pinkie grinned. What a flawless disguise.

The door snapped open, and she grabbed Rarity's diary off the floor. It might be fun to find out about a few of her crushes while she waited for everypony to give up searching for her and make smores.

"Wow..." whispered Pinkie to herself. "Rarity really likes Fancy Pants." She whistled under her breath.

This was getting boring. She'd already been sitting here for twenty seconds! How long was it going to take for everypony to forget about her?

Suddenly, she smelled a certain smell. It was an unmistakeable aroma, one of Pinkie's absolute favourites...

"S'mores." she hissed to herself.

It was a trick. Of course it was a trick. Nopony started making s'mores without her! Not for long, anyway. They were so irresistible, and chocolatey and marshmallowey and delicious...

"Nope! It's Rarity and Rainbow Dash! They're trying to trick me into coming downstairs!" Pinkie said to herself. "I'm just going to stay up here and wait for them...to finish...all...the...s'mores without me...oh horseapples."

She grimaced as the smell became even more pungent and irresistible. There was a certain way that Rarity made them, an attention to detail that made them as beautiful as they were delicious.

Well, thought Pinkie, Maybe if I'm really quick, I can get one or two and escape back up here before they catch me! Genius!

The little pink pony, lodged inside her newfound mobile home, crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. She could see Rarity through the cabinet's keyhole, toasting marshmallows...delicious marshmallows...

"Oh my! I really do wish that Pinkie Pie were here to enjoy such amazing s'mores!" Rarity crooned. "I guess I shall have to enjoy all of them myself! What a pity!"

"It's a trick, Pinkie! Keep it together!" she whispered to herself.

"Well, here we go then!" Rarity lifted one of her signature perfect s'mores up with her magic.

Pinkie grabbed her mane with her forehooves as the delicious treat was levitated towards her unicorn friend.

"It really is a shame..." Rarity grinned, and took a bite.

Pinkie made a very loud sound between a squeak and a groan.

"THERE SHE IS!" Rarity laughed, as Rainbow dropped down from the ceiling and grabbed the cabinet. A moment later, Pinkie exploded out of it, zooming up the stairs as nothing more than a bright pink blur.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" she screamed, as Rainbow Dash gave chase, barely able to breathe for laughing.

The little earth pony darted up the stairs and into Rarity's room again, zipping around to try and find somewhere to hide again. Under the bed? No, too obvious. Up the chandelier? No, Dashie would find her in two seconds if she hid there. Pinkie clutched at her mane again in fright, galloping into the far corner as Rarity and Rainbow Dash appeared in the doorway. There was nowhere to hide.

"No!" She yelped, as the two ponies approached her. "Not a makeover! I'm fine, really! Can I have a s'more instead? No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!"