Hitmare

It was the crack of dawn, and Rarity was watching her clock intently.

"Come on Pinkie! You've been in there all night! Can you at least come on out now?" Rainbow asked.

"NO!" came a squeak from inside the cabinet.

"Rarity, you haven't got any more cupcakes, have you?" Rainbow asked the white unicorn. She raised a hoof to shush her.

"Just leave her in here, Rainbow darling. We're going to need her to pop out at just the right time if we're going to make this work." she said absently.

"What is it with you and that clock anyway?" Dash turned  on her friend.

"Well you see, at precisely six twenty-seven, Twilight will be coming out of her house with Spike in tow." Rarity said. "At six thirty-three, she'll pass by my front door on her morning errands, give or take a few hours if she finds something interesting in the paper."

"I'm not waiting two hours to find out if she's behind it!" protested Rainbow. "Wait, how do you know so much about what Twilight does in the morning?"

Rarity waved away her friend's question, focussing on the front door of the library. "Very well, Rainbow, when Twilight comes past here..."

"I know, I know. We distract her, and then I grab Spike. We've been over this."

"Very well then. Wait for my word..."

She ducked behind the windowsill as she spotted the two friends leaving the library together, coming this way...

"Right...wait for it...now!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, and opened up the cabinet.

* *     *

"...and then we have to stop by the quill store and pick up my new order. Did you get all that, Spike?" Twilight asked as she trotted along, pulling the tired little dragon along by his tail.

"Yep, quills...got it...whatever..." Spike muttered back.

"Oh, and then we have to stop by the hospital and bring Scootaloo her get-well-soon card..."

"Yep...Scootaloo..."

"And then we've got to..."

Twilight's incessant listing was interrupted by a loud bang. Spike suddenly leapt to his feet, startled.

"Wha...Wha?" was all he could manage. Spike, master of macho repartee in the face of danger.

"Come on Pinkie, get...out...of...the...cabinet." came a vaguely familiar voice.

"NO!"

"PINKIE! OUT!"

There was a crashing sound, that of a minor kerfuffle within, and then that of a mighty buck. Twilight stood, confused out of her mind, as a cabinet came sailing through the air towards her. Stranger still, it exploded and disgorged a bright pink...thing. She was sure that it was Pinkie Pie, or at least vaguely Pinkie shaped, but it was...neat and...elaborate. Whatever the thing was, it was launched out of the wrecked cabinet right into Twilight's face, sending her day planner...and Spike...flying high into the air.

Pinkie, her mane and tail mercilessly straightened and embellished with ribbons against her will, shot off in sheer terror, pursued by a perplexed and furious Twilight, while pages scattered around the front door.

"All right Dashie, you're up!" Rarity smiled. Rainbow nodded, shooting out of the door and intercepted the plummeting baby dragon, shooting back into the Carousel Boutique. Rarity slammed the door, leaving only a quiet and curious scene of gently floating pieces of paper and broken splintered wood in the ponies' wake.

* *    *

"So, who's gonna be good cop?" Rainbow asked, once they had Spike securely tied to a chair in Pinkie's place.

"I'll be good cop. You can be bad cop."

"Me? Why do I have to be bad cop?"

"I just think that it suits you better, dear."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

"I meant nothing by it. Now then, shall we get started?"

"Fine."

A light clicked on, shining in Spike's face.

"You know you guys are my friends, right? You don't have to go to all this trouble for me."

"Quiet!" Rainbow yelled. "We know Twilight's behind the pranks! Admit it!"

"Okay. Twilight's behind the pranks." he shrugged. "Can I go now?"

"Well, that was easy, wasn't it?" Rarity started.

"Just a minute!" Rainbow raised a hoof and peered at Spike suspiciously. "Why give up so easily, huh?"

"I dunno, so I could leave?" Spike tried to hop out of the chair, accidentally unbalancing himself and falling to the floor.

"Untie him, Rainbow. We've got a confession. What more do we need?"

"What else is Twilight up to? What's she gonna do next?"

"I dunno. She doesn't really tell me what she's up to." Spike dusted himself off as Rarity removed his bonds. "She pretty much just writes everything down in that planner, then tells me what I have to do. Not much else to it."

"So it's all in that book that Pinkie wrecked?" Rainbow scratched her chin pensively, before zooming out of the door.

"Gotta be here...gotta be here..." she rummaged through the scattered paper. "A-ha! What's this?"

One page in particular had caught her eye, a certain suspicion surrounding it that Rainbow wasn't quite able to pin down.

Perhaps it had something to do with way it had been entitled "EVIL PLAN" that had been bolded and underlined several times.

Scooping the paper off of the road, she examined it. It read:

Everything is going according to plan,

Miss "Oh-Look-How-Great-I-Am fell for my water balloon trick this morning. I couldn't keep myself from laughing at the look on her face! It was just too perfect!

Of course, then she started flying all over the place, accusing everypony and making a complete racket. I mean, even I was irritated by her behaviour, and I'm usually calm and collected!

Rainbow took a moment to frown before continuing.

Of course she came and accused me, but not to worry. I had a perfect alibi in place! I'll probably reveal myself to her...eventually...but first I have to get my revenge properly, to make her very sorry indeed for what she did. Over the next few days, I shall escalate the pranking...my personal Hitmare has proven quite cooperative - not to mention capable - and she'll serve me well until Miss Dashie decides to apologise. I'm sure it won't take long. She's not as tough as she thinks she is.

"Oh really, huh?" she snarled, picking up another piece of paper at random.

10.00am: Visit Scootaloo in hospital. We've got to talk about Rainbow.

"So THAT'S your little agent, is it?" Rainbow Dash scrumpled the paper up and threw it over her shoulder. "Well, I'll get to her first, and then we'll see who's Miss Oh-Look-How-Great-I-Am!"

And with that, she took off towards the hospital, leaving only floating paper in her wake.