He Just Wanted a Cup of Flour...

by Slaphappy16

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6192

...to bake himself a cake...

Quincy was but a mute. He couldn't stand the harassment and cruelty of other ponies, so he left to live by himself. Of course, it does get boring when your alone.

Think of this as a parody of all the Slendermane stories that have been popping up.
Edited by Alb388.

Published 2012-12-21 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-21 20:40:01 UTC

...But It's Never That Easy.

A white pony with a grayish mane sat alone in his living room. Well, not completely alone. He had a few squirrels and such walking about, a snake, and a parrot. Along with that, there were some of the random creatures that ventured into his house from time to time. It wasn’t that he absolutely loved nature or anything, he just enjoyed the visitors. Except the wolves and stuff, he didn’t like those.

‘He’, as stated earlier, was a rather tall and skinny pony, currently sitting on his couch, thinking. ‘He’ was named Quincy, because really, how were his parents supposed to know how to match his name with his infinite possibilities of a cutie mark? ‘If you want to,’ his parents told him, ‘you can legally change it to whatever you want.’ Quincy unfortunately could not reply. He was but a mute. He shuddered at remembering his years of schooling. Horrible names and no way to disagree or stand up for himself. He could only sit there, unsure of what to do, as ponies made fun of his disability.

Which brought up the next unfortunate thing to come to his life. He had some kind of disease or something, he remembered the doctor calling it leukocoria, turning his pupils white when light shines on them. And, well, there was the sun, lights and stuff, and when the moon shone bright, if it weren’t for the small yellow shade he had for an iris, it would appear as if he didn’t have eyes period. This conjured up names like ‘no face’ and stuff like that. Immediately after graduating school, he left for a more peaceful life in the woods outside of his home-town, Ponyville. Not the Everfree, but rather, a much less dense area next to it, afraid the rest of the public would do the same as the ponies in school.

But, that didn’t mean he was sad, he loved his life. He enjoyed being alone, reading a good book, next to his parrot, Squawkers. Tonight, however, he was rather bored. He had read all his books, some three times over, and did not feel like reading more. He picked himself up and walked into the kitchen. Looking around, he decided to try something he never done before. He would bake a cake!

It could be fun, and would definitely take his mind away from the boredom. For a moment, Quincy just stood there. As said, he had never baked a cake before. Obviously, the first step would be to get a cook book. Walking over to a small drawer, he shooed away a little lizard that had planted itself in the drawer. He opened it and obtained what he was looking for, a book titled ‘Make-It-Yourself Deserts’.

Quincy flipped through the pages until he found something that looked interesting. He set down the open book, looking at the recipe. He wondered around the kitchen, picking out things like cake release spray, sugar, a bit of non-combustible lemon juice, that kind of stuff. He stopped at the bottom of the list. Two cups of flour. He walked over to his pantry and looked through it. Finding the bag of flour, he picked it up and slowly poured it into one of the measuring spoons. It stopped at one cup.

Looking inside, he found it was empty. Giving an annoyed grunt, he shook the bag a bit, trying to get every last bit. Alas, nothing came out. He contemplated just putting everything back, but he was too far into this. No turning back, that would be like giving the frog an extra dose of cancer. He laughed on the inside at his own little reference joke.

But there was still a problem. No time to joke around, a crisis was at Quincy’s hooves. A crisis that needed his up-most attention. He dreaded doing this. Going into public, people giving him stares, going as far as leaving a three foot radius around him. There was only one thing that he enjoyed about the town, and that was the ever-so-lively Pinkie Pie, who would talk and talk even though Quincy couldn’t respond. He didn’t mind, it made him seem more normal being with another pony. But he still preferred not to go into town. Maybe he could just ask a neighbor? Surely it would be easier to confront one or two ponies than an entire town.

He decided that it was essential to go ask his closest ‘neighbor’ for some flour. Then, another thought came to mind. Should he wear something? Was there some kind of fashion trend going on? Quincy wore a determined face. Damnit, his cake was on the line! He wasn’t going to risk it over not looking good. He walked over to his coat closet in the room over and searched though the articles of clothing. He found what he was looking for, and unhooked it from the rail. A nice little tuxedo with a small red tie waited for him on the racket.

He walked into the bathroom, tuxedo in tow, and put it on. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had to say, he didn’t look too bad. Almost hard-boiled, the kind of hard-boiled were you go out and save dames calling for help. For a moment, he imagined himself as a hard-boiled detective saving dames on the street.

Yeah, he would be good at that.

He shook his head away from its hard-boiled thoughts and brought himself back to the problem at hand.

Yes, this would do. He walked out of his bathroom and over to the front door. Squawkson sat next to him in his cage. He gingerly took out a cracker from the bag next to his cage and fed it to him. The bird eagerly tried to steal it from his hooves, but Quincy pulled back.

The bird almost seemed to sigh. It stretched out its wings and started bobbing up and down, like it was dancing to an invisible source of music. Quincy smiled at his little trick and gave away the cracker.

Squawkson let out a happy screech and took the cracker, picking off little pieces of it.

He turned back to the door. The moment of truth. Here we goooo…

Quincy turned the knob and walked outside. A nice brisk breeze flowed through the air. It was rather late at night. The moon shined bright, turning his pupils white as if tormenting him, letting him know what he would look like in front of his neighbors. He took a deep breath and started walking.

He enjoyed it when it was dark, the only problem being some of the creatures that ventured from the Everfree into his woods.

Content that nothing could ruin his night and his cake, he continued walking through the woods, looking spiffy in his tuxedo.

***

“They say that if you look at him directly, he’ll EAT YOU!” Scootaloo yelled, causing a flinch out of Sweetie Belle.

“Oh c’mon now, Slendermane is just a myth!” Applebloom argued.

“Are you sure Applebloom? Rarity said otherwise…” Sweetie Belle said back to her.

The three stood in front of the woods, all staring inside.

“I’ll bet she said that so you wouldn’t go near here.” Scootaloo countered.

“Well maybe there was a reason she didn’t want me near here!” Sweetie Belle yelled.

“Well maybe there wasn’t!” Scootaloo said.

“Well maybe there was!” Sweetie Belle turned toward her.

“Wasn’t!” Scootaloo returned the stare.

“Was!”

“Wasn’t!”

“Was!”

“Will you two be quiet!?” Applebloom interrupted the arguing fillies. “We’re not gonna get our cutie marks fightin’ like this! Remember? We’ve tried that!”

Scootaloo shrugged. “You’re right. So, are we gonna do this or what?”

“Well, maybe we should get a plan?” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“We go in, capture Slendermane, and get our cutie marks for cryckteed hunting!” Applebloom said.

“I think you mean ‘cryptid’.” Scootaloo corrected her.

“Whatever, ya know what I mean!” Applebloom said, annoyed.

“Yeah, yeah. Now c’mon, let’s go!” Scootaloo yelled, hopping into the woods.

Applebloom followed, leaving Sweetie Belle alone. For a moment, she stared into the dark woods.

Looking around, she followed more slowly.

Ahead, Scootaloo and Applebloom stopped to wait for her.

“C’mon Sweetie! Hurry up!” Applebloom called.

“I’m still not sure about this…” Sweetie said as she walked up next to her friends.

“Don’t worry, were just gonna explore a bit! Nothings gonna go wrong!” Scootaloo reassured her. “Now, I’m gonna go this way.” She pointed to the left. “Applebloom, you go right, Sweetie, you keep going straight! We’ll meet back at the edge in a bit.” She said as she started running off.

Applebloom nodded and started to run off into the woods.

Sweetie Belle was left alone, staring into the darkness that loomed in front of her. “You never said we were splitting up…” She said to herself.

Ever so slowly, she walked into the woods, keeping an eye on her surroundings. Slendermane wasn’t real, right? Yeah, he… or she, was just a myth. Either way, what was so scary about a white pony in a suit? Nothing. Absolutely nothing…

An owl hooted a ways away. Sweetie Belle yelped and ducked under her hooves. She peeked up, finding nothing. She was just being paranoid. She took a deep breath and exhaled.

She continued walking, not necessarily looking for Slendermane, but rather to just walk around. Once she got to thinking about it, it wasn’t that bad in these woods. Nice and relaxing, really. She scoffed at the fact she was scared. What were in these woods that could be so scary?

After walking for a while, she decided she was getting a bit too far away from the edge. She turned and started walking back. Her eyes fell on something white. It was staring back at her, but it had no eyes. It didn’t do anything from what she knew, because she fainted on the spot.

*

Quincy continued his stroll through the woods, listening to the wildlife. Once you got used to it, it wasn’t that bad in these woods. Nice and relaxing, really. But he wasn’t out here to enjoy the wildlife; he was here to enjoy cake! Well, to get something so he could enjoy cake. But that still counted.

Something in the distance caught his attention. A small yelp. Somebody else was here? That was great! Maybe they had some flour. He trotted towards the source of the noise. Eventually, he found the source. A small filly walking about, enjoying the scenery. He was about to run up to it when it stopped. He copied it and did the same.

The filly turned and met his eyes. They both stood there until the filly just… well, fell to the ground. Worried, he ran up and examined the small unicorn. It didn’t look hurt or anything… but it was unconscious. But why? Slowly (and dramatically), he turned around.

His heart drained as he came face to face with… NOTHING. He breathed out. Nothing was there. Thank Celestia; he had just dodged a possible cliché horror movie moment. Those always got a jump from him.

But that didn’t explain the fillies random fainting. Was it like one of those fainting goats? Man, he loved those.

A thought came to his mind. Maybe he caused it to faint? Maybe it was the suit? His heart dropped when he thought of the most probable reason, his face. He must’ve scared it.

Feeling guilty, he picked up the filly and put her onto his back. Maybe while he was finding some flour, he could find the owner of the filly? It was a possibility. Better than just leaving it there. Multitasking is great. Whoever made that up gets a medal.

And so, he continued walking through the forest, no real sense of direction. The few times he had gone to Ponyville were smaller then it could’ve because he would more or less stumble upon it. He had no idea where he was going. Yeah, it was kinda a problem, but for now he just walked. The filly was really warm; it kinda made him think about getting a sweatshirt that matched his suit.

Maybe that would be number two on his agenda? Some flour and then the sweatshirt. It was rather cold at his house.

He shook his head. He was on a mission! Only one agenda, no side quests! Well, except for the filly. That was a side quest.

His walk was still quiet, nothing much really happened. He was surprised, usually the crickets and night-time birds played very loud. He enjoyed the music they would play, but silence was golden. Maybe music was silver. But nopony remembered the pony that got silver. Everypony liked the gold, everypony looked at third and said ‘you did pretty good’, but with second place people just shake their heads and say ‘sooo close’.

He hated second place. He glared at the next second tree, scowled at the next second rock, and thought angry thoughts about the second filly.

Wait. Second filly? He took a double take, and sure enough, there was a small pegasus walking about. Well, it was more or less trying to sneak. It spy-rolled from tree to tree, carefully taking in its surroundings, except for behind it. There was no point looking behind you was there? You had just passed behind you, so it must be safe.

And it certainly was safe! He would not harm such an innocent filly that was trying to sneak its way through a dark and suspicious wood, possibly up to no good. Maybe it was friends with this unicorn? That would be glorious! He will have solved the filly problem and be on his way to the cake in no time.

He happily trotted up behind the pegasus, who hadn’t even noticed him. He stood right behind her, figuring the best way to get its attention.

Thinking fast, he poked it.

It jumped into the air and screamed, running off.

Well, that didn’t work. It didn’t even bother to look! How rude! Quincy gave a small grunt and quickly walked into its direction. Last thing he needed was for it to be found by wolves! Or a bear! Or even a pony-eating flying shark that breathes fire! Well, not the last one. Those don’t exist.

He did the mute equivalent of a sigh and started walking after the filly, who he could still hear screaming away.

Scootaloo continued running. What was that? Something came up behind her and tried to whisk her away! But she was to fast the evil felon! All she had to do now was to keep running until she got out or was lost. Maybe she could find Applebloom or Sweetie Belle? That would be convenient.

Then they could fight it! They would come home as heroines! The newspapers would line up: Cutie Mark Crusaders Capture the-

Suddenly, a wild tree appeared!

Scootaloo didn’t notice it what with the darkness and not paying attention and she slammed into it head-first and spun around, dazed.

“My my now, who is that nicely dressed white pony in front of me?” she said aloud, forgetting what had just happened before she plopped to the ground.

***

Quincy trotted up to the orange pegasus. It had knocked itself out! Haha! Man, it was cruel to laugh, but that was funny. But now he had a bigger problem. Two fillies to tend to! How could he do this?

His attention came back to the pegasus as it picked itself up. It groggily looked around, wondering what just happened. It eyes centered on Quincy, and for a moment, she just stared. Then, it screamed.

“YOUR GONNA EAT SWEETIE BELLE!” It yelled at it started mindlessly running around in a circle.

Quincy had no idea what was going on. Who was Sweetie Belle? Did it mean Quincy? WAS

SOMETHING ABOUT TO EAT QUINCY?!

His eyes grew wide and his pupils grew tiny as he let out a silent scream. He started join the filly running around in a circle until, on his back, he felt the unicorn move. Before he could even turn, it also screamed and leaped off, face-planting into the ground. It quickly picked itself up.

“ITS GONNA EAT ME!” she yelled before joining the orange one with running around. It took about three seconds before they knocked into each other’s heads and fell to the ground.

They were, again, out cold. Before looking around and realizing that nothing was trying to eat him, Quincy contemplated what just happened before falling onto the ground, soundlessly laughing his ass off.

These fillies! They were like a bunch of rocks! They would probably try to swim in dirt if they wanted to!

Not to mention the white one was a bit pudgy. Just around the waist. But there was nothing wrong with a bit of meat!

After calming down a bit, he wondered what to do next. Was there an entire herd of fillies in these woods? Would he have to go around like a door-to-door salespony trying to give away a bunch of free fillies? He couldn’t do that, he still had to take care of his job! Oh yeah, and one of the people may be a pedofilly.

But yet again rose the fact that he couldn’t leave the two to just sit here. Or could he? The first one was pretty heavy, and it would save him some time just to leave them here. It didn’t sound like a bad idea.

Buut… that would be pretty cruel. But then again, so were his classmates. For a moment, he scowled at the two fillies. They were probably no better! Quincy bet they would toss somepony into a pig-pen if they had the chance.

He shook his head. He shouldn’t think like that! He would never stoop as low as they had!

With confidence, he tossed them onto his back and started walking through the forest yet again. Man, that white one really was fat. There was no way two fillies could weigh this much! He would have to remind its parents to put it on a diet.

Maybe feed the unicorn some pixie dust, or whatever magical foods unicorns eat. Or maybe magic food is what makes them big? He didn’t know. He wasn’t magical. Well, apparently earth ponies were good with plants, but one thing was for sure. He had never grown a single thing in his life. He tried growing a flower, that didn’t work. He tried growing a tree, that didn’t work either. He even tried growing a moustache, and unfortunately, he was afraid that would remain a fantasy.

So then, how the heck was he supposed to grow things? He could’ve grown some flour! He would be home right now, enjoying his cake, and he wouldn’t be going through this mess. He should grow a catapult and just toss these fillies away into the darkness.

Then, he could catapult himself into town! And get some flour! That would be glorious! But, again, he couldn’t grow anything. Well, except for his pets. They grow nicely. As a matter of fact, his parrot would be as fat as this unicorn in no time at all.

He looked up at the moon. An emotionless mare stared back. Quincy wondered how it got there. Maybe Princess Luna was lazy and decided to make some art whilst she was up there? It wasn’t that bad. A real work of art. And it must’ve taken forever to get from one place to another! And to make it look natural, that was a nice piece. Like a bunch of craters had somehow, by some bare chance, formed in that manner. Some would say impossible, but they know nothing of Luna! Not like he did either, but that was of no point!

The REAL point was that princesses are natural artist. He’d bet that if Celestia were to just stare at a pencil, it would automatically create something, like a tree… or something. But it would look awe-inspiring! Ponies would not bow down to Celestia, but the extreme mastery of her tree! It would look EXACTLY like that one with the hole in it! Or that one with the bird on it! Or that one with the SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!

*

Applebloom crawled along the ground. She had been stalking her prey for a while now. She would avenge her comrades! There was no way she would let this monster take her friends away! Or at least, she would try.

She stared contently as the white pony stared up at the sky. She had to admit, it looked spiffy in its tuxedo. But that didn’t give it reason to capture her friends.

It just stood there, staring at the moon. She gasped as she got a good look at its face. Well, lack of face. It really had no face!

She shook her head. This was no time to stare at its face as it stares at the moon! She had to attack now! She slowly crept up behind it as it started looking around at the trees. She got ever so close to its back… closer… closeeerrrr… NOW!

“RRAAWWWRRR!” She yelled a battle cry as she jumped onto its back and bit and started beating it to death. It jumped at least a foot into the air before running around trying to buck her off its back. She was a trained professional at this! Not only had her sister taught her how cowponies did it, but she even watched (without her knowing) ponies practice with her sister. It looked really weird whenever she did, and she wasn’t very good at getting them off.

She leaped from its back onto its head where she continued to beat it down into submission. It yelled silently for some reason. She was slightly confused, first of all because it didn’t make any noise, and second because she didn’t remember that it had a mouth. Also, there was a measuring cup piled up with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Probably so it could measure how much sauce to put on them when it EATS THEM! Too bad it never would! But that still didn’t answer the question about its mouth. Did it have a mouth? Well obviously, this had to be it, it didn’t have any eyes! The only think she saw a bit of yellow where its mouth should be. She looked at it again, trying to figure out what it was as she pulled on its ears. For a moment, they went into the shadow of a tree, and they turned a bit black. Did it… really have eyes?

Oh no, did she screw up? Was this Slendermane? Well if it wasn’t, then what was it doing with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo? She stopped for a moment while the pony under her kept flipping-out. Did she make a mistake? Was she beating up this poor pony for nothing? Oh, this is bad. What will Applejack think? What if it was helping Sweetie and Scoots by giving them some really weird piggy-back ride home while they slept? Or maybe something happened and he was taking them to the hospital? Oh, this is definitely bad!

She hopped down from the frantic pony, who continued to jump around like an idiot.

“Hey!” Applebloom called out.

The pony stopped mid-jump, suspended from nothing, and turned towards her. A second later, it dropped to the ground, dusted some dirt off its shoulder, and put a hoof up to its mouth like it was coughing, getting ready to speak. Then, it started flailing its arms around, yelling nothing at her.

She stared for a moment at the quiet yeller, wondering what it was trying to say. She noticed that as its head turned away from the moon and a shadow passed over its face, its eyes looked normal. Then, as the light would come back, whiteness shone back at her.

Even though she couldn’t hear what it was saying, she guessed that it was mad at her. When it stopped and stared, both arms in the air waiting for her reply, she dropped her head. “I don’t know what yer sayin, but I’m sorry for beatin you up… I thought you were gonna eat my friends.”

The pony continued, as motionless as a rock, until it put its arms down, pointed at the fillies, then at its mouth. Applebloom nodded. It burst out into a silent laugh at such a preposterous thought. I mean, how preposterous! Such preposterous-ity deserved a good laugh.

Applebloom watched in silence. Why was it laughing? She just beat the tar out of it and now it was laughing because she thought it was going to eat her friends? Either this pony was fast to forgive or it escaped from the mental hospital. She was thinking the latter.

It took a moment to calm down, and finally took a seat. It set Sweetie and Scootaloo on the ground.

Applebloom stood in front of him awkwardly. “Can I ask ya some questions?”

It waved a hoof dismissively and nodded.

“What happened to them?” Applebloom asked.

The pony thought for a moment, then shrugged as if it didn’t know. She was sure he was lying.

“Alrighty, can I ask what you’re doing with them?” She asked, uncertain whether or not she wanted to know.

The pony dug his hoof into the ground and made a square with a triangle on it, a house. He then pushed them both towards it.

“You were bringing them to your house?” Applebloom guessed, confused.

It rapidly shook its head. It made another house and pushed each filly to their own dirt-house.

“Oh! You were taking them to their houses?” Applebloom took another shot.

It nodded, happy to see she understood.

“OK then, that’s nice, but what are you doing out here?” She pressed.

He picked up the measuring cup he carried with him, plucked a flower form the ground, and put it in the cup. Applebloom thought for a moment. Suddenly, the answer was clear.

“OH! You want some flour?” She guessed.

The pony waved its hooves around, a big smile on his face. She was good at this.

“Ah can help ya with that! We got plenty at our farm!” Applebloom suggested.

The pony looked even happier. Yes! His quest was coming towards an end! He hopped up, carefully hefted both the fillies up onto its back, and waited patiently.

“Oh, you wanna go right now? Shouldn’t we drop off Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle first?” Applebloom questioned.

Yet again, he just shrugged.

“Well… Maybe they could have a sleep over at my house! That would be fun! C’mon!” Applebloom yelled.

Oh joy! A sleepover! It will be so fun!... except that her friends were knocked out cold. Well, she was sure they would be awake eventually.

She giddily hopped through the forest, away from the moon, out of the forest. That was another thing Applejack taught her, to always know where the sun or moon was, so if you go towards it then you go away from it to go back where you came from.

Eventually, she got out of the forest, pony in tow. She rambled on and on about the farm and zap-apples and how one time she mispronounced apple-bucking season wrong and Applejack got really mad at her, but she never really found out why. The mystery pony liked that story.

She couldn’t help thinking it would be better if he talked back, but she didn’t mind. He didn’t seem to care either, he just enjoyed her presence. She was still surprised at the fact that he had forgiven her so easily, even after her beating. Maybe he liked being beaten? That would be weird. She couldn’t imagine any pony that liked being beaten.

Being that her farm was across town, she had originally planned on going through it, but as they got closer, the white pony started veering away. She guessed it liked to walk and wanted to take the long way. She didn’t mind, it gave her more time to talk about the Cutie Mark Crusaders. As she did, she noticed that he didn’t have a cutie mark. Rather that or it was hidden.

Of course, her first thought was to invite him into the CMC, but alas, the farm had come into view.

“Here we are!” She jumped up into the air and scampered away.

She trotted up to the door and knocked on it, for she was too small to reach the door knob. She despised that door knob.

It seemed like less than a second before Applejack had the door open. “Applebloom!” Applejack picked her up and hugged her. “I’ve been worried sick for you! Where have you been?!”

“Me, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were over in the woods next to the Everfree and we found a friend!”

“You were WHAT? How many times do I gotta tell you to not go near the Everfree? And what do you mean frie- uh, who’s that?” Applejack stared awkwardly at the pony with seemingly no face as he walked up behind Applebloom.

“That’s my friend! He saved Sweetie and Scootaloo!” Applebloom exclaimed.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What exactly did he save them from?”

“I don’t know, he can’t talk.” Applebloom explained. “But apparently he found them knocked out, so he was gonna take them home!”

Applejack looked him up and down. “Really now? Well, I guess I should tell Rarity that Sweetie is alright. Say, do you know who Scootaloo’s parents are?”

Applebloom ignored her question. “He needs a cup of flour!”

“Say what now?” Applejack asked, confused at the outburst.

“He’s baking something and he needs some flour, so I told him I could get him some!” She told her.

“Uh, OK then, I guess we could spare him a cup of flour…” Applejack stepped to the side.

*

Applebloom bolted into the house, and the white pony kinda stood there for a moment. “So, you can’t talk?”

He shook his head.

“And you have no eyes…?” She asked carefully.

He nodded this time and stepped a bit into the shadow. His pupils darkened to a natural color.

“Man, Twilight would have a field day with you…” Applejack said as she stepped back. “C’mon in and I’ll get ya your cup of flour.”

Quincy happily trotted inside. This was it! He was kind of confused about this Twilight person, but there was no time for confusion!

Applejack led him into the kitchen. In the room over, he could hear Applebloom talking to somebody about her adventure in the woods. Quincy set down his measuring cup and waited patiently as the orange mare found a bag of flour and carefully poured it in. It stopped right on one cup.

Quincy gingerly took it back, careful not to spill it.

“Well, there ya go, one cup of flour!” Applejack said. “Feel free to come on back. A friend of Applebloom’s is a friend of the Apple family!”

Quincy smiled with the cup in his mouth. He wished he could say thank you, but he really wanted to get home and, well, he couldn’t.

“Oh! And you should probably leave them two hear for the night.” Applejack nodded towards the two fillies on his back.

Quincy had forgotten all about them. He was so close to victory, and he didn’t even remember that he had a pegasus and a fat unicorn on his back.

“Here, follow me.” Applejack said as she went through the doorway leading to the next room.

Quincy followed and found himself in a living room of sorts. Applebloom was sitting next to a big red stallion as an old green mare slept on a rocking chair.

“There he is now!” Applebloom yelled, causing the old mare to wake for a moment, say something about self-serve security apple’s, and go back to sleep.

The red stallion smiled at him, and Quincy smiled back.

“Just set em down here, and you can be on your way.” Applejack patted a spot on the couch.

Quincy let them slide off his back, and land safely of the cushion.

“Aww, he can’t stay?” Applebloom whined.

“It’s late and he probably wants to go home. As for you, you should be in bed!” Applejack said.

“Aaaawwwww…” Applebloom sigh explosively as she hopped down and started for the stairs.

“Well then, it was nice to have you over. Like I said, feel free to come back any time, ya hear?” Applejack suggested.

Quincy nodded and made for the door. As the door shut behind him, Applejack watched it for a moment as if it’d open again.

“What a strange pony…” She said to Big Mac.

From what Big Mac had seen and Applebloom told her, he had only one thing to say. “Eeyup.”

***

Quincy finally walked up to his door. It had taken him a while to find his house and the moon was now at the very top of its journey across the sky, but he had found it. He was so happy! This was it! He quickly trotted into the kitchen, were his supplies still sat. Carefully, he dumped the remaining flour into the mix, stirred it all in, and poured the brown mixture into the cake mold.

He picked it up, and, opening the oven, shoved it in. He set the temperature to 350 degrees. The oven magically instantly got hot as he pressed start. He set it to 40 minutes and waited. And waited. And waited.

He vowed that he would NOT sleep until this cake was done. He looked at the time. 30 minutes left! How had he been here for only 10 minutes? He contemplated putting the heat up to make it go faster, but he didn’t want to risk screwing it up.

There had to be something to do. He stood up and walked into the bathroom. He needed to clean his tuxedo! Yeah, that would be time-consuming. And so, he took of his tuxedo and put it in the washer. He set the time and made sure it was at the right setting. It turned on and he waited. And waited some more. But then, something happened!

There was a spider making a web! Oh, it was glorious! It expertly weaved its web and HIIIYYAAAAA!

He smashed it with his hoof. He hated spiders.

He walked back towards the oven. 20 minutes left. Blarg! This was taking FOREVER!

He walked over to Squawkson. He opened the cage, and the parrot hopped out ad onto his head. He smiled and sat on the couch. The parrot bent down so it was staring Quincy in the eyes. He stared back.

They stared at each other, both unblinking. An unspoken staring contest. It wasn’t long until the parrot blinked, and Quincy silently laughed in triumph. He was unbeatable! Except for that butter pony that lived in the cottage not far from his house. He had seen her a few times whenever Squawkson got sick, and she seemed to never close her eyes. So weird.

As celebration, Quincy stood up; the parrot balanced on his head, and walked over to the table where he had left the crackers. He picked one up and tossed it into the air. Squawkson easily bent over and caught it. He flew off with his treasure and left Quincy alone.

A moment later, a green snake slithers out from under the cage. Huh, there was his snake. It didn’t even bother acknowledging him and just slithered away. How exciting! His house was truly a place to be.

He heard a buzz. It was done! Yes!

He ran into the kitchen, and dawning his oven mitts, picked up the cake and set it down on the oven. There were just a few more additions…

He smothered it with chocolate shavings. He found some whip cream and placed nine little circles, eight around the sides and one in the middle. Next came the cherries. He placed one directly over each of the eight outside cream-circles. Finally, out of the drawer, he pulled a single candle. He placed it right in the middle, through the whip cream and cake. With the flick of a small lighter, a flame danced over the cake.

Ever so carefully, he cut a single piece of the cake, taking one cherry, and placed it on a plate.

He had spent so much time for this, went through quite the adventure, completed the quest, and now came the reward. He sliced off a bit with his fork. The moment of truth. He relaxed in his chair and stuffed it into his mouth.

His eyes went wide, and he set down his fork. Only one thing came to his mind as the flavor flowed through his mouth.

It… IT TASTED LIKE SHIT!

Author's Note

Well, that was fun to write. Any mistakes you find put in the comments, and tell me what you think! Don't forget to rate!