First Date

by Phil Ken Sebben

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Fluttershy, Human, Romance, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2012

Anon and Fluttershy's first date

Anon and Fluttershy are finally going on their first date. There's only one problem: Fluttershy stinks. Literally.

Published 2012-12-22 09:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-22 09:20:02 UTC

First Date

First Date

Fluttershy zooms around her cottage, making sure everything looked nice for when Anon arrived. Anon was always such a good friend to her, and she developed feelings for him. After months and months, he had finally asked her out on a date. And, tonight was the night. She checks her mane in the mirror one more time. It was styled to the side, with flowers woven in. He'd love it for sure. Now, for the finishing touch.

Opening a drawer, she opens a crystal vial of mare pheromone. She liberally applies it to her neck and mane. This would drive Anon wild for sure! She can't help but giggle in anticipation as she puts the bottle in her shoulder bag. Sitting on her sofa, she waits as patiently as she can for Anon to arrive.

You are Anonymous. You were brought to Equestria almost two years ago now. To be honest, it's a pretty good living here. It took a while to get used to, but everyone here was incredibly friendly and helpful.

Plus, there was Fluttershy. She's the kindest, most beautiful creature you've ever met, and you love her. In love with a pony; wouldn't your parents be proud? Checking your looks in the mirror one last time, you grab your sack of bits and head out.

You stop by Roseluck's stall on the way over for a bouquet. Unsure of what Fluttershy would like, you go with the traditional red roses. Reaching her house, you take a few moments to check yourself over. Hair seems fine, clothes have no smudges, remembered your money, and brought her some flowers. You're golden. Taking a deep breath, you knock on her door.

You hear a loud "eep" coming from inside, followed by a loud clattering. The knock must have startled her. You can faintly hear the ticking and tacking of items being replaced, and Fluttershy saying "Oh my oh my oh my" over and over. After about half a minute, the sound stops and you hear her softly clear her throat. The door swings open, and you see Fluttershy. She looks beautiful.

"Hello Anon." she says bashfully.

"Hey, Fluttershy. You look beautiful tonight."

She blushes deeply, but smiles. You kneel down, and hug her. She's soft and warm and smells like rancid piss. That last part takes you by surprise and you gag. You stand quickly, getting away from the smell before you puke. Fluttershy looks confused.

"What's the matter, Anon?"

What's the matter? Why the hell would she possibly smell that bad, that's the matter!

"Nothing!" you lie through your teeth. "Oh, and I brought you some roses!"

"Oh, thank you, Anon, those look delicious!"

What.

"But I'll wait until later to have them. I don't want to spoil my appetite for dinner."

She takes them from your hand and puts them into an ice box. Oh, right. Pony.

As she trots back over to her, you become aware of the smell again. Oh Christ that's nasty. But, you can do this; you're not going to be so petty as to let her smell get in the way of your first date.

"Ready to go?" you force a smile, even though your eyes are beginning to water.

"I'm ready if you're ready." she says quietly.

"Ok, then lets go!"

As you walk through town, you unconsciously try and keep your distance from Fluttershy. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to notice. She also doesn't seem to notice the looks she's getting from the few stallions you see. These aren't the usual "pony dating the human" stares you're used to. There's something almost lusty about them. You'll have to be careful.

Finally, you reach the restaurant. You can't pronounce it's name, but it's a really fancy place.

"Oh, Anon! You got reservations here!?"

Wow, she seems excited. Looks like you made a good choice. Heading inside, you see a snooty looking pony standing behind a podium. He almost sneers as he sees you approach.

"Do yew have a reseurvaztion?"

You can hardly understand him with that accent.

"Yes. Anonymous. Table for two."

He flips through the booklet in front of him.

"Ah, yez, meestur Anonmoos!"

He looks to Fluttershy.

"And mees Flooturshy! I moost say, yew look very sexy tonight!"

Fluttershy blushes furiously, and shrinks back behind you. This makes you notice her smell more than ever, but you do your best to ignore it.

"Alright, so." you say quickly, "Where do we sit."

"Oh yez, of coorse, of coorse, right thees way!"

You follow him through the restaurant, Fluttershy following so close it's hard to walk. There are more stares from the stallions, and by now, Fluttershy seems to notice. Finally, you reach your table, and sit down. It's not a very large table, and you can smell Fluttershy quite clearly.

"Yoor waitur weel be with yew shortly."

As he walks away, you sit with Fluttershy in awkward silence. Her smell is really starting to get to you, now, but you still don't want to bring it up.

"So. This place seems nice."

Fluttershy nods, seemingly relieved you broke the tension.

"Yes, it is. The nicest you can get without going all the way to Manehattan."

"Well... I hope the food is good."

And with that, you fall back into smelly silence.

"Can I take your order?"

Both you and Fluttershy jump when the unicorn breaks your bubble of awkwardness. Fluttershy grabs her menu.

"I'll have the onion soup with parsley, garlic stewed mushrooms, and a side of tulips, please."

She glances over at you.

"If that's alright with you, that is..."

"Of course, you can have what you want." you tell her.

"Alright," the waiter says, magically writing her order down with a quill.

"How about you, sir?"

You're really not in the mood to eat right now. Your stomach turns at the mere thought of trying to eat with this smell. But, you have to try and keep a pretty face on things.

"Uh, I'll have a salad. Extra lettuce, no hay or flowers."

"Right. Your orders will be along shortly."

As he leaves, you turn back to Fluttershy. She almost seems distressed.

"So. How are things?"

"Fine." she says, softly.

"Ok... what about Angel Bunny? Still giving you a hard time?"

This time she offers a small smile. "A little..."

You smile, too, except yours is forced. The smell is getting to you, and you don't know how long you can take it. Finally, the waiter returns with your orders. Fluttershy has a feast before her, while you're left with a plate with lettuce piled onto it. Not even any dressing. Any other night, this would have pissed you off.

Fluttershy is slowing eating her soup, so you should eat, too. You grab your fork and spear a piece of lettuce. Taking a bite, you immediately regret it. As soon as the food hits your upset stomach, you gag loudly, earning you a few approving stares.

"Are you ok, Anon?"

"Yeah, of course! I just swallowed wrong."

You need some fresh air.

"Hey, I'll be right back, ok? I need to take care of something."

Without waiting for a reply, you get up and head for the bathroom.

Fluttershy is distraught. The date isn't going well at all. Anon has been acting weird since he showed up at her house, and it's worrying her. What if he doesn't really like her? What if he doesn't really want to be with her? All she can do is try and win him over. She opens her should bag and takes out a bottle. A little more pheromone should help...

Ok. You've breathed some clean air, and settled your stomach. You can do this. Leaving the bathroom, you head back toward the table. You see a young stallion talking to Fluttershy while she looks visibly distressed. Getting close, you can hear the conversation.

"... head back to my place, and I'll show you the time of your life!"

"Go away, please." Fluttershy says, barely audible.

"Aww, come on baby, don't just shoot me down!"

"I'm here with my date..." she says, shrinking down into her seat.

"What, human? Come on, ditch that monkey! What have you got to lose?"

"You're about to lose something." You say, cracking your knuckles, gaining you even more disgusted stares.

The stallion whips around to face you, but finds he only comes up to your waist. The size difference is enough to deter him, and he walks away without another word. You take your seat in front of Fluttershy and oh god the smell is even stronger than before.

"You ok?" you manage to ask without choking.

She nods, slightly, but doesn't look at you. Reaching over the table, you take one of her front hooves in your hand. You stroke the soft, downy fur with your thumb. Fight through the pain, fight through the pain!

"Anon..."

She smiles tenderly. You retch. Her face goes blank for a moment, until tears well up in her eyes. She pulls her hoof away, and runs away crying. The entire restaurant looks like they're trying to glare you to death as you struggle to stand from the undersized table and run after her. She hasn't gotten far by the time you run out onto the street.

"Fluttershy!"

She doesn't stop. Sprinting after her, you slowly gain on her. She never could run that fast.

"Fluttershy, please!"

"Just leave me alo-o-o-one!" she wails through her tears.

"Please, Fluttershy! Just talk to me!" you shout at her, tears beginning to build up in your own eyes.

Thankfully, she listens, and her run slows down to a trot, before stopping. You close the gap to her, but keep your distance, lest she runs again. You take a moment to catch your breath.

"Fluttershy, what's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?"

"B-b-because you-" her words jumble together as she cries.

"What? Because I what?"

"BECAUSE YOU HATE ME!"

You're taken aback as she shouts, but not nearly as much as her accusation.

"What!? Fluttershy, I don't hate you! I could never hate you!"

"Then why are you acting so weird!?" she sobs.

Shit. She must have thought you were acting like that because you didn't want to be with her.

Fighting your gag reflex, you slowly walk closer to her.

"It's not because I hate you."

"Then why?" she says, choking on her words.

"Alright, fine. I was hoping to ignore the elephant in the room, I'll tell you."

You sigh, as she stares at you expectantly, her crying finally slowing down.

"Fluttershy, you stink. Really bad."

"What?" she says blankly, clearly not expecting that answer.

"You smell like a public restroom that hasn't been cleaned in a year. I didn't mention it to you because I didn't want to seem rude."

"Oh..."

"Seriously, Fluttershy, how could you possibly smell this bad?"

"I- but- well- I don't..." She stammers, confused.

"Did you switch to some kind of 'natural' organic soap or something?"

"No, I... Wait!"

She pulls open her shoulder bag, and pulls out a bottle.

"I used this mare pheromone, but it says it's guaranteed to drive stallions wild..."

You can't help but chuckle.

"Fluttershy, you don't need something like that to make me like you." you offer her a gentle smile. " Besides, I'm not a stallion. It wouldn't work on me even if it didn't smell so bad."

She lets the bottle fall to the ground, and sits down on her haunches, defeated. It looks like she could burst into tears again at any moment.

"But..." she finally speaks up. "You don't hate me?"

"Of course not. I love you, Fluttershy."

A smile appears on her face, growing larger and larger, before she jumps at you. You kneel down and open your arms, taking her into a tight embrace.

"I love you too, Anon." she says, tears of joy streaming down her face.

She's still soft, she's still warm, and she still smells like rancid piss. It finally gets to you and you vomit all over her.