Dammit, I Was Young

by Thithle Candytufth

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Discord, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 2219

When something special like this happens, it's always important to write it down. It's also important to hide it properly.

When something special like this happens, it's always important to write it down. It's also important to hide it properly.

Published 2012-12-22 18:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-23 14:34:40 UTC

The Diary

“2/16/18

Diary, you wouldn’t believe it. I said I would never stoop to that level. But I also wrote that I would never drop my sister on her head, and we all see how that worked out. Anyway, diary, since you are looking at me so suspiciously, yes, it did happen. And yes, it is exactly what you think it is.

I can explain myself, I swear.  First of all, remember when I kept saying how utterly reprehensible he was to me? Yeah, you know how teenagers are, diary. We’re always so sure of ourselves until we discover that we’ve been wrong all along, and that’s part of growing up, isn’t it? At least, I think what happened was growing up.

It’s barely even worth writing this down. I could live a thousand years more and this will be at the forefront of my memories, it was just that special. But, anyway, diary, since I feel sentimental, as most girls do in my current situation, I will share the details.

It was an ordinary day, maybe a bit boring. I had no idea anything this significant, this incredible, would have happened to me. It was just a sunny, snowless winter day, no inkling of happenings to come. I stayed inside most of the day, studying.

That night, he popped in for a visit, unexpected, as always. I had been reading at the time, just some stupid book that mattered so much to me at the time but I can’t even remember the title now. He greeted me in his usual obnoxious manner. I attempted to ignore him, but he ceaselessly pursued my attention. He slipped his head between the book and my face. I pushed him out of the way, annoyed. He continued to bother me, poking me and ruffling my feathers. I brushed him off as I always do, and he teased me. I got a little flustered, but couldn’t help but blush a bit.

I tried to shake off the redness in my face, but it was to no avail. I was feeling really strange. Some force had taken hold of me. Maybe it was the sight of him in the light of the fireplace, maybe it illuminated some feature that I had never seen. Maybe a side of him was just out that night and it was that side that I was so taken aback by. Regardless, I was having trouble finding words for him in reply. Usually I have a snappy, clever little response, but he just looked back at me expectantly as I looked at down my hooves.

He called me by my full name, which he never did. It was always some variant or abbreviation. It sounded strangely difficult for him to sound it out. I looked up, and he reached down and brushed the bottom of my chin gently. I flinched a bit and giggled. It felt like my stomach was full of parasprites. I quivered a bit and looked up into his eyes.

Any other day I would have shoved him away. For some reason, I didn’t. I don’t know what part of me possessed me that day, but I let it take over and direct my actions for the duration. And that part of me wanted him, badly.

I was desperately awaiting his first move. I felt like no part of my body would move an inch without him moving closer to me. He nudged me lightly, and rubbed his head against my neck. I nuzzled him back. So many thoughts ran through my head but I did not speak a word. I suppressed those party-pooper thoughts. The thoughts of how crude and disrespectful and crazy he was— they all wanted me to push him off of me and yell at him for even thinking such an act was acceptable  I allowed him to continue.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek. I turned my head to him. I looked into his eyes. I had never seen the sparkle of maturity, the depth to him. He looked so handsome, diary. You have no idea. I leaned my head forward, he bent down. I pressed my lips against his. My tail swished back and forth. He shoved his tongue into my mouth. My eyes popped wide open at his intrusion, but I gave a satisfied little groan as I did the same to him. I pulled back for air, a trail of saliva connecting our tongues.

He leaned forward, caressing me, eventually brushing against my flank. I gasped. My heart beat rapidly, my eyes rolled back into my head. He stopped and looked back to me. He said no words, but wanted a glance of reassurance. My heart relaxed and I nodded slightly. I wasn’t going to turn back now. I wanted this to happen.

I took a step forward, looking at him as sultrily as I could manage. With a swish of my tail I began to walk, tilting my head to motion him to follow me. He did so. I led him to my bedroom, taking slow, deliberate but joyous steps. The hallway felt endless. When I finally came upon the door, I turned back before opening it. He averted his gaze at first, then looked back at me and returned that same little nervous but happy nod.

I took eternally long steps towards the bed. I climbed onto it. He stood over the foot of the bed. I splayed myself out on the bed. I spread my legs, giving him a peek. I could hear a slight gasp elicited from my handsome prince. He held his place, his eyes darting between my face and, well, what you’d expect from any guy.

He stepped over the footboard of the bed. He slid up to me and held himself above me. I looked up at him, but then tilted my head downward. I saw his… well, you know…

Anyway, he kissed me again. I wrapped my hooves around his back and pulled him close to me, pressing his body against mine. He kissed my neck, and then trailed kisses down towards my underbelly. He eventually reached my marehood. I spread my legs wide, allowing him to proceed as he wished.

And, well, I guess I can say it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. No, I loved it. I loved feeling him so close to me. No, it was beyond just close to me. I felt him, the beating of his heart, the love pulsating within for this one night. The obnoxious tease I thought he was faded away completely. He was fun; he was loving and deeply caring. I wanted to be with him. I wanted this link between us to never break. I wanted to feel his everything. In throes of pleasure we were entwined. Time curved around the moment between us.

Eventually it had to end. It came to that point, and we did so together.

He collapsed on top of me and we both fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning, he was beside me, snoring quietly. I ran my hoof across his cheek and let him rest. He eventually woke and slipped into my study. Neither of us could muster a word to say to the other. I looked down at the floor. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. He slipped away, out the door with a little wave goodbye.

Then I pulled you off the shelf, diary, and started writing this.

I know this isn’t the start of the romantic relationship the eight-year-old me had always dreamed of. He’s not the charming prince, he’s the court jester. Even so, I wish it could last. I know that I probably won’t see him for a while, and when I finally do, we’ll make awkward eye contact and a silence would fall between us. He would then immediately return to teasing me as he always did, but he and I both would know we couldn’t go back to that night. This was a special night, but I have no delusions of grandeur, diary. This was a one-night thing, and he and I will both deny it if asked, I am sure.

Still, a part of me will always treasure this. Even if I weren’t still high off of hormones and rejoicing my wonderful night, I would tell you, diary, that I do love Discord.”

Twilight Sparkle shut the diary with a slight gag. Wide-eyed and perplexed, she placed it back on the shelf. Unblinking, she walked out of Celestia’s study.

The Statue

Twilight stormed into the courtyard, her hooves pressing deep into the grass as she stomped about, weaving between the hedges and around the statues. She muttered quietly as she walked.

"This is some misunderstanding. There's no way."

Upon a pedestal stood a twisted form. His body zigzagged and his draconic tail curled at the tip. His head had been pulled back, his face contorted in terror. His back was arched and his tiny wings were spread. He held his asymmetrical arms out as if resisting an imminent force.

Before her frozen mate the princess sat. Her wings were folded to her sides. She looked up to the exquisite corpse of a statue, a hint of longing glimmering in her eyes.

“Of course she’s here,” Twilight grumbled to herself.

“What was that?” Celestia said, turning her head to Twilight. “Oh, it’s just you.” She sighed lightly.

“What were you doing, Princess?” Twilight inquired.

“Oh, just... relaxing in the courtyard...”  Celestia surveyed the gardens. “A lovely summer day, isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh”, Twilight nodded, stepping slowly over to the Princess. “Why here, of all places?”

Celestia looked about nervously. “What?”

Twilight sighed. “Just felt like a relaxing sit beneath the statue of the spirit of chaos?”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia said, her tone becoming stern. She lifted herself up and puffed up her chest, “there is no reason to speak to me in this manner. Tell me what this is about immediately.”

Twilight swallowed hard. “Did you... have... sex with Discord?”

Celestia’s wings extended, sending a few feathers fluttering to the ground. Her face reddened. “Wh-what?!”

Twilight stepped forward. “Answer me.”

“This is preposterous.” Celestia turned away.

“Just answer me.”

“I do not see how this could possibly be of your concern.”

“You’re just dodging me.”

“Well, what would it matter to you, anyway?”

“So, you’re admitting it?”

“No! How could you even think of such a--” Celestia looked down to her hooves. “I left the accursed book out, didn’t I?”She muttered.

“You sure did.” Twilight said, her voice deadpan.

Celestia stomped down her hoof. “What kind of invasion of privacy is this? How could you do such a thing? You’re my student and you betray me!”

“Fair enough,” Twilight lowered her tone. “This was none of my business. I apologize for intruding on your private affairs. My curiosity got the better of me, and for that I am sorry.” She paused. “But why? Why Discord?”

“You didn’t know him as I did.” Celestia stepped to the side, wrapping her tail around the pedestal of the statue.

“How so?”

“The Discord I grew up with was a kind, jocose soul. He tended towards mischief, but deep down he was really a sweetheart.”

Twilight raised her brow. “He held Equestria in the grip of disharmony, spread misery and hate abound, and you’re telling me he was some sweet little angel?”

“It wasn’t always as such, Twilight Sparkle. We were young. Carefree. In the spring of our lives.”

“Oh brother...” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“We didn’t have cares, or worries. It was a different time, you see. We may have been powerful beings destined for greatness, but back then I was just a teacher’s pet and he a class clown.”

“Uh-huh...” Twilight groaned.

“Do you have a problem, Twilight Sparkle?” Celestia’s grip around the statue tightened.

“I just can’t believe you.”

Celestia lurched forward. “What?”

“All of this. I looked up to you for all of these years. No, not just me, everypony did. But you’re...”

“I’m what, exactly?”

“A… A STRUMPET!”

Without a word, Celestia walked towards Twilight, her chest puffed out. She pulled back her wing and smacked her across the face.

Twilight’s eyes opened wide. Her jaw hung loosely open. She looked up to her furious mentor.

“You naive, sheltered little virgin! I never expected such impudence from you. These are things far beyond your comprehension, my ‘faithful student.'” She made air-quotes with her wings.

Twilight swallowed hard. “What I’m comprehending, Princess, is that you had intercourse with Discord.”

“As I said before, this doesn’t concern you. I am in awe that you have the gall to criticize me after you intruded on my private life.”

“So I’m expected to brush off the fact that you spent your early days… porking that Draconequus?”

“Yes. Exactly. Glad you have figured this all out with that big brain of yours.”

“B-but he’s Discord!”

Celestia tilted her head up as she walked past Twilight. “Yes, he sure is. And this Princess finds him quite the charmer,” she grinned slightly, “and the best I have had.”

Twilight felt her breakfast well up in her throat as Celestia entered her palace. She turned to the statue, furrowing her brow.

“This is all your fault.”