We're not Pirates, We're Ponyteers

by overlord-flinx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pipsqueak, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 1243

Sent on the epic task of colonizing the new world, Twilight Sparkle must gather up the privateer crew she can find. Remember, we're not pirates, we're privateers. No. Ponyteers.

Equestria has lush, fertile land; but there are lands out there that have more then Equestria can offer. Lands that haven't been laid claim to. For this reason, Celestia has given the task of exploring the wide open seas to Twilight Sparkle while also giving her royal dictation to form her own privateer crew. There's a wide unclaimed world out there and other ponies, plus the sort, that want it as well. It may be a race, but it's all a part of the adventure.

We're not pirates though... We're ponyteers!

Art by: JJ.

Published 2012-12-23 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-23 18:28:05 UTC

Chapter One: Pride of the Privateer.

From Ponyville, the scent of the sea's salty air and cooling brush was near impossible to feel. There wasn't a drop of salt water for miles of Canterlot or Equestria. But, that didn't stop Twilight Sparkle from feeling the maritime gusts of the open sea when she went through town. In honesty, the thought of going out to sea didn't appeal to Twilight Sparkle on the whole; in never has. But the idea of pleasing her teacher and expanding the kingdom was something that brought a smile to her face. In three days, she would be out on the open waters in a ship made by the best shipwright that the royal treasury could afford; the flag of Equestria flapping in those maritime winds.

For now though, she had an important task that would make or break her whole task. While the treasury of Canterlot could afford to equip and ready the ship with all the necessaries, it couldn't provide for a crew to occupy it. Under Celestia's order, Twilight Sparkle was named the captain of the unnamed ship; thus putting her in charge of gathering a privateer team. If Twilight's research was correct though, she would only need a pony that could repair the ship if anything bad happened to it: a shipwright. She would also need a pony who was well adjusted to mapping and navigation: a navigator. A crew of a few deckhands or just random patrons that could help keep morale up and simply lend a hoof wouldn't hurt either. Of course if they gather enough ponies, they would need a medical professional on staff. Finally, unlikely as it may be, they may come across other races that may not understand their language; this leading to the possibility of a linguist.

In theory, this wouldn't be too hard... At least, that's what Twilight had hoped.

The door to Sugarcube Corner opened with a little jingle of bells. Pinkie Pie, who had been working the counter sprang right to a stand and looked at the entrance. "Welcome to---BAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!" Pinkie Pie couldn't finish her greeting when she saw who had entered and what she was wearing.

Kicking the door closed behind her, Twilight Sparkle walked to the counter with a sigh. For a moment, Twilight waited at the counter as Pinkie Pie laughed away. Twilight watched as Pinkie fell to the floor with a thud, still wracked with laughter until Twilight finally spoke up. "Are you done?"

Staggering to get back up to the counter's level, Pinkie wiped away a tear, still holding in a snorting laugh. "W-what are you wearing?" Pinkie eyed Twilight's attire once more, trying to refrain from laughing.

Adorning Twilight had been a navy blue doublet with golden stitching around the hem lines. A frilly collar stuck out around the top and framed Twilight's neck nicely. Though, what probably drew the laughter was the ridiculously over-size black bicorn hat on Twilight's head; which dwarfed her horn and hid most of her mane. "This is Canterlot's traditional privateer captain uniform..." Twilight informed Pinkie once while also adjusting her hat with a spare hoof.

"Canterlot has a privateer order?" Pinkie managed to ask between little snorts.

"Yes, it does. As a matter of fact..." Twilight was going to say something before the door to the store opened and, again, the store was filled with laughter.

"D-Darling. What are you wearing?"

"Gathering a team may be a bit harder then I guessed..."

"Did you hear about Twilight Sparkle?" Normally, Pipsqueak wasn't one to listen in on a conversation; but something just told him to listen in just this once as he turned the corner into town.

"Yeah. Wasn't she wearing some kind of pirate get-up?"

...Pirate...?

Log One: Pipsqueak - Being a Pirate...

Today's weather has been really nice. Real sea fairing weather. Too bad that Ponyville is years away from any oceans.

But hope has come today! I heard from around the corner that Twilight Sparkle, the librarian pony in town, was wearing a pirate outfit. This can only mean on thing... She's gathering a pirate crew. I can't think of why she would fancy a life on the open sea though. But that's not the deal here. I've been waiting for this day ever since I knew how to trot. To get my hooves off the dirt and put them on wood over the water. A life at sea is the life for me.

So, I'm packing up everything I'll need.

Satchel: One

Eye-patch: Two (could use the spare)

Bandanna: One.

Waistcoat: Four.

Cutlass: One.

Log book: Writing in it now.

Unicorn that can write in my log book because I can't use the quill: Right here.

Quill: Three.

Blanket: One.

Ahab: Right here.

Everything is set. Now to find Twilight Sparkle and join her pirate crew!

Log One: Twilight Sparkle - Ponyteers?

Day Zero.

Departure in three days.

Current whether: sparse clouds with plenty of sunshine.

Current task: Not fully understood.

I've decided to keep this logbook to archive the next few ~~days~~ months. I, Twilight Sparkle, was just given a direct decree from her royal majesty, Princess Celestia. As her loyal student, I am of course honored to serve my teacher in any way I can. I would do anything for her. If she asked me to jump from a bridge (though I would question why this was needed by any stretch of -well- anything) I would do it. If she told me to write detailed notes of every pony in the kingdom, I would already have the books alphabetized and put to print. Even if she asked me to explore the world and claim uncharted lands in the name of Equestria, I would do it. Which is exactly what she asked me to do.

For the next few ~~days~~ ~~weeks~~ ~~months~~ years (maybe) I will be exploring the open sea in search of new lands. Princess Celestia has given me all I have needed for the basic levels of nautical code.

Galleon-Class Export Ship: Check.

Six Iron-cast Cannons: Check.

Twelve cases of Gun powder: Check

Two Ballistas: Check.

Five dozen Ballista shots: Check.

Two tons of reserve repair gear/resources: Check.

Enough gold to settle any possible economic disputes: Check.

Five tons of non-perishable food items: Check.

Flag: Check.

A Dedicated Crew:

A shipwright:

A navigator:

A doctor:

A linguist:

That brings me to the second task the princess gave me that I have to take care of before departure. I need to find a crew. How hard can that be? I am sure that all the ponies from Ponyville, Canterlot, and all of Equestria will jump at the chance to joining my crew to explore the new world. Just the thought of all the amazing lands and creatures we will come across... It makes me feel like departing right now. But, if Princess Celestia has taught me anything (and she has taught me very much) it's that you're only as good as your team.

Before my departure on ~~Equesta-1~~ ~~Pride of Canterlot~~ the ship, I will assemble the best exploration team Equestria can offer. Under the title Princess Celestia has dubbed my will-be crew, the Ponyteer Privateers will stretch the flag of Equestria all over this world on the other side of the sea.

From the desk of Captain Twilight Sparkle; written by the magic of Captain Twilight Sparkle.

Task for now: Gathering Ponyteers.