When Scrivy Met Twilight

by BlackRoseRaven

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 15253

Twilight's dealings with the obnoxious Court Poet of Canterlot during her years at the Magic Academy

Before Twilight Sparkle found her friends and home in Ponyville, one of the few ponies she came to know was the Court Poet of Canterlot. And they were definitely, certainly, really, seriously not friends. At all.

Published 2012-12-22 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-22 21:00:01 UTC

When Scrivy Met Twilight

When Scrivy Met Twilight
~BlackRoseRaven

Canterlot: the sprawling jewel-city of Equestria, watched over by the beautiful Canterlot Castle, throne of their benevolent ruler Princess Celestia. Canterlot was where all ponies of all races, be they earth pony, Pegasus, or unicorn, strove to reach: it was home to the very best, the noble, the wealthy, and the talented. It had the greatest libraries, the vaunted Magic Academy, the majestic Royal Court, and a thousand beautiful secrets all waiting for some lucky pony to come across them and unlock their promise of treasure.

Yes, it was gorgeous, and it seemed flawless. Their beautiful ruler could stride without fear around her peaceful sanctuary, full of adulating subjects, as could any other pony. It was always busy, but ponies treated each other well, and were filled with happiness and warmth. They enjoyed the warmth of family and friendship and safety... or at least, most ponies did. But even the odd pony out, like Twilight Sparkle, had a wealth of comfort and luxury.

The violet mare was currently studying hard in the library: she was young and pretty, with a purple coat and eyes that shone like gemstones a shade darker than her body, her mane and tail blacker but streaked with violet and pink. She was well-known around Canterlot as the apprentice to Princess Celestia herself, and despite how young the teenager was, she was maturing quickly and had more magical skill than many unicorns twice her age.

Her cutie mark was a six pointed, pinkish star, surrounded by motes: her gift was magic, and every day she strove to improve herself, to impress her parents and her Princess. But she had grown up as an only child under the care of her doting, protective parents, so she was used to being alone. And even if she had an assistant, Spike, the dragon tended to act a little younger than he actually was and she tried to keep herself... a little distant. He was her assistant, after all, and she wanted to maintain a professional relationship with all things related to her studies.

Books were piled up on the table in the library around her: light research, for the most part, something to keep herself busy while Princess Celestia prepared her next project. She smiled a little to herself before glancing up curiously as she thought she heard arguing from somewhere else in the usually-quiet library, but then shrugged and returned her eyes to the book at hoof.

Then she frowned over her shoulder as she heard voices again: indistinct, but loud enough to echo through the library again. Several other unicorns – many of the students like her – looked up from where they were sitting, but then the voices quieted again, and Twilight returned to her book, feeling ruffled. Libraries were supposed to be for quiet research and no other purpose, after all.

She let herself become absorbed in her reading... that was, until she heard a grumbling from nearby, and looked up to see an earth pony at one of the shelves. She frowned at him curiously: he had a charcoal-colored coat, and his mane and tail were ragged and white. He was lanky, and he wore a rumpled half-cloak of some kind, edged in gold. After a few moments, she realized that the vestments marked him as a member of the Royal Court, but Twilight Sparkle had no idea who this earth pony could be.

He was standing at one of the shelves she had been at earlier, digging through the books on Canterlot history and apparently searching for something. Twilight Sparkle hesitated as she glanced at the five or so books stacked around her, most of them from that set of shelves... but then she simply shrugged and picked up the book in front of her again, going back to reading. She was sure he could find something, and she wasn't done her research yet.

But less than half a minute passed before she heard a throat clear loudly beside her, and she looked awkwardly up to see the earth pony standing next to her. He was wearing square glasses and had moody chestnut eyes, and she winced a bit at his intense gaze before he asked mildly: “Got quite a few books there, huh?”

“I... I'm doing research.” Twilight replied finally, then she pointedly attempted to go back to reading, and the earth pony shrugged as he walked past her. But it was only so he could start going through the piled-up books beside her, and the violet unicorn immediately stopped her reading and flicked her horn with a huff, dragging the pile away from him as she said sharply: “Hey! Excuse me, but I'm trying to do important work here.”

“No, I'm trying to do important work here.” The charcoal earth pony straightened, looking down at her imperiously as she glared back at him. “You're, what, a magic academy student? I was just named Court Poet of Canterlot. That means I'm a grown-up and I need those books for work.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Twilight asked irritably, feeling a little shocked by the earth pony's behavior. “You... you can't be much older than me, and... this is extremely important. I'm learning from Princess Celestia herself and I have to work my very hardest to live up to her expectations... no, to do even better than that!”

“Oh, so you're Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn she's so fond of. Well, you have my sincerest apologies, I didn't realize I was talking to a unicorn of such high and mighty esteem.” the Court Poet replied seriously, and Twilight looked at him warily, and the stallion looked back for a few moments before she simply nodded and huffed a bit.

The charcoal stallion couldn't help but stare at the fact the violet unicorn had apparently failed to recognize his sarcasm as she piled her books up with telekinesis and began to shove her things into a plain satchel, replying in a mutter: “Well, I wouldn't say I'm that important, but... I'm glad you understand a little more how serious this research is. Besides, with all due respect, what would an earth pony want with books on magic?”

“Actually, they're books on a magic school, which we earth ponies built for you unicorns.” he corrected sourly, and then he paused when she glared at him, deciding to try a different tactic on a whim. “But no, you're clearly right. Say, I didn't introduce myself, did I? My name is Scrivener Blooms.”

“I... that's nice, but this is very important, so I'm going to sign these out and go. Excuse me.” Twilight mumbled, and she pointedly turned her back on him. Scrivener glowered at her, then at the pile of books before his eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and he quickly spun on his heel, hurrying off through the library.

Twilight Sparkle was more relieved than she had wanted to admit, even as curious questions rose through her mind. Scrivener Blooms, Court Poet? She'd never heard of him before. She wasn't even sure that was a real position, as a matter of fact... and he looked so messy and he'd been so rude and... she was starting to suspect that he had been sarcastic, too, now that she was thinking about it.

For a moment, she glanced at the books, feeling a faint pang inside her: maybe she should have let him take one or two. But then she reminded herself how important her research was, and she only shook her head quickly, finishing packing her things away and picking up the books. They were in a library, after all, there were all kinds of books and archives and documents for him to pick through.

Twilight made her way to the front desk, where the librarian smiled at her from behind her thick glasses as the elderly mare asked kindly: “Did you find everything you were looking for, Miss Sparkle?”

“Yes, thank you, Mrs. Lexicon...” Twilight paused, then brightened a little. “Oh, but I was wondering, you wouldn't happen to have the latest updates to the Canterlot Compendium, do you?”

“Well, Miss Sparkle, as a matter of fact I believe it just came in this morning.” The librarian smiled warmly, and Twilight bounced on her hooves a little: the Compendium was a constantly-evolving archive of information of everything around Canterlot, and it listed the newest books, changes, and other important facts and figures that had recently occurred throughout the Castle and Royal Court. New volumes came out once every month, detailing all the major events that had occurred up to the publishing date.

As Mrs. Lexicon turned her attention to the shelves behind her, neither mare noticed Scrivener Blooms stride calmly up with two books he dropped loudly on the front desk. Both Twilight and the librarian twitched, then both mares glared at him before the librarian's mouth puckered and she quickly turned her attention back to the Archives, while Twilight continued to glower at the charcoal stallion.

He only smiled pleasantly in return, then his eyes roved to her books, and Twilight almost growled at him, ready to protect her possessions. But Scrivener only rose a hoof, saying mildly: “Hey, I'm just going to look at the titles of your books and go, that's all.”

Twilight looked at him warily, then she nodded grudgingly, letting the earth pony step forwards before he picked up the book on top of the pile, turning it back and forth and exaggeratedly studying it. The violet mare glared at him, and then Scrivener looked up at her mildly, asking after a moment: “So you do know that half the history in this book is just rambling, unproven theory, right?”

The violet mare narrowed her eyes slowly, and then Mrs. Lexicon called to her from where the librarian had moved a little way down the desk, and Twilight huffed as she turned her back pointedly to Scrivener. The charcoal stallion leaned up a bit, watching as the two mares began to go over what looked like the latest copy of the Canterlot Compendium.

When he was sure they were both striving to ignore him, the stallion let the large textbook fall sideways, leaning on it to form a wall that blocked the pile of four other texts from sight. Then he shoved two books off the top of the small pile and tossed the books he'd grabbed out of the shelves onto the stack instead, before giving a loud sigh and moving the heavy textbook back on top. “Well, Twilight, I guess these books aren't much use to me after all.”

“Good.” Twilight grumbled, shooting him a sour look, and Scrivener sniffed disdainfully before giving a mocking little bow. The unicorn huffed and turned her attention back to the librarian, who shot an ill look at Scrivener Blooms as well before turning her own eyes back to the young mare.

Scrivener hummed to himself as he carefully pushed the two books he'd switched out further down the desk: usually there were at least three ponies here, but it was lunchtime, and the other seats were empty. The charcoal stallion paused as he shot a quick look down the desk, and then he leaned quickly forwards over the counter and snagged a date stamp and inkpad that sat on the other side amidst other clutter and a few unlabeled books.

The charcoal stallion opened both of the textbooks to the back cover, yanking the two catalog cards in each glued-on sleeve free to stamp the date on all the slips. He glanced up to make sure neither librarian nor unicorn was watching, but they were still talking animatedly, and Scrivener grinned slightly as he traded the stamp and inkpad for a quill and inkwell.

He signed his name on all four cards beside the date, then slipped two of the catalog cards across the desk and tucked the others back into the sleeve in each textbook. Then he closed both books and tucked them away into his cloak, whistling a little as he turned to stride towards the exit.

He paused as he passed the librarian and Twilight, unable to stop himself from watching as the elderly mare closed the compendium and put it aside, while the violet unicorn watched brightly, like she was a foal watching candy being prepared, not a teenager signing out books for what he suspected was the hundredth time. Then he hurriedly turned his eyes forwards and strode onwards when the librarian moved the textbook off the top of the pile, then picked up the book beneath... and stared at it, a faint blush spreading over her features before she looked across at Twilight and said awkwardly: “This... is certainly uh... different from your usual reading, Miss Sparkle. This is part of your uh... research?”

Twilight frowned, her horn glowing as she took the book from the librarian and turned it around... then stared at the sight of the handsome ponies on the cover with their manes blowing back and seductive expressions on their faces, before her eyes locked with horror on the title: The Lusty Stallions of Bareback Ridge?

She turned deep red, then quickly turned her eyes back to the pile, picking up a second book with telekinesis and gaping as she saw it was another book in a similar vein. And then she realized what had happened, and she looked wildly back and forth before flinging both books down.

Twilight caught sight of Scrivener's tail just as he left through the main door of the library, and the mare ground her teeth together before bolting after him. She managed to catch him in the hall outside, shouting angrily at the charcoal stallion, and he glanced innocently over his shoulder at her as she skidded to a halt beside him and fixed him with the most horrible look she could. “Give me back my books!”

“What books?” Scrivener asked pleasantly, and when Twilight ground her teeth together and stepped towards him, he held up a hoof and cleared his throat. “Now hey, Sparkles, the only books I'm carrying are already nicely signed out and everything.”

“You're a liar!” Twilight fumed, and Scrivener put an injured look on his muzzle before the mare leaned forwards and accused: “You switched the books on me! You took my books and put those... those... dirty-books there instead!”

“Now, Miss, we've only just met and I know my advice might be kind of meaningless, but I don't think you should talk about it like that. You're at that age where you're curious, after all. I'm sure many mares your age fantasize over homoerotic literature.” Scrivener said seriously, and Twilight's jaw fell open, working stupidly before the earth pony smiled triumphantly and turned away, calling mildly: “Nice to meet you, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight could only stare after him, stupefied and unable to think of a proper response... and then she finally dropped her head forwards, glaring daggers from beneath her mane as the earth pony strode away. She finally grumbled under her breath, trying to tell herself it was no big deal as she turned around and stormed back into the library, heading grouchily over to the desk.

The librarian had neatly stacked her books up for her, and Twilight grumbled as she began to tuck them away into her satchel without looking before suddenly asking: “Who was that jerk?”

“Oh, the earth pony who was just here?” Mrs. Lexicon looked surprised, glancing up before her muzzle wrinkled with distaste. “That was Scrivener Blooms. Princess Celestia made him Court Poet recently... although heaven knows why, when there were quite a few more talented and better-known authors vying for that position. He's a troublemaker, Miss Sparkle, you should stay away from him.”

“I plan to.” Twilight grumbled, and then she sighed and nodded her thanks to the librarian before turning and striding moodily towards the exit. It wasn't until she got back to her room at the Girl's Dorm of the Magic Academy and opened her satchel that she realized Mrs. Lexicon had actually signed the erotica out for her as well.

Twilight threw these two books across her little bedroom with a groan, then sulked for a little while as she looked at where they had fallen to the floor as she sat back on her bed grumpily. She thought of the strange earth pony again, but cursed and reached up to grab her face, blocking him out of her mind before she turned and yanked the Compendium out of her satchel to catch up on all the important recent events.

The violet mare settled down as she read peacefully for a good twenty minutes or so, and then she turned the page... and then her eyes widened in disbelief as she read a name that had already become horribly familiar to her in just the last hour under the title 'New Nobility.'

“Scrivener Blooms.” she grumbled, poking at the page irritably: there was a short paragraph about him that she didn't care to read, and she muttered to herself as she flipped through the pages that followed. They were all biographies of important ponies who had either newly arrived in Canterlot or recently ascended to their position... and she couldn't help but stop on the page that had Scrivener Blooms' biography, reading it more out of morbid fascination than anything else.

There wasn't a lot of information: he was an earth pony from the far north, which explained why he had such drab coat colors, and he apparently had been published in several magazines and had a few anthologies out that she had never heard of. His writing apparently focused on darker and more depressing themes, and his reviews were moderate, at best... yet he had been chosen out of a hundred or so candidates by Princess Celestia herself for the position. And even though he had only recently been appointed, and this volume of the Compendium had come out shortly after that, it already noted at the bottom that Scrivener seemed fond of abusing his position for mischief and had produced very little work past the minimum expected.

Twilight grumbled at this, muttering: “That doesn't make any sense. I wonder where he went to school, what he must have studied... but he didn't seem that smart. And Mrs. Lexicon said he was a troublemaker and I believe that, so... why did Celestia hire him at all?”

The violet mare pondered these questions for a little while, then forced herself to put the book aside with a grumble before sighing and picking up another textbook. It didn't matter anyway, she would hopefully never see him again, and she could soon put this whole thing behind her. Sure, he had gotten under her skin, but he was just a jerk, and she was a better pony than he was, and it sounded like no one liked him anyway. She was sure that the next time she heard about him, it would be because a new Court Poet had replaced him.

She nodded firmly to herself, and with a great effort, finally forced her mind to clear and to return to reading, intent on proving that unlike some ponies, she was definitely up to being the very best she could possibly be.

Twilight returned to the library the next day, returning a textbook and both of the 'special' books that had been slipped into her pile, explaining awkwardly that it had been a mistake to the librarian on duty, who just gave her a knowing look. Twilight blushed and hurried away, trying to hide her embarrassment and feeling like the librarian somehow knew she maybe just took a tiny little peek at one of the books, just. Just because.

She hurried towards her usual table, which was near the back and far away from everypony else, giving her plenty of privacy and quiet... and then she staggered to a stop and stared in horror at the sight of Scrivener Blooms, who had his hooves up and a book on Starswirl the Bearded open in one hoof. He had some kind of red card on a string around his neck, and was cradling a large bottle of Colt Cola in his other foreleg, slurping loudly through a straw.

For some reason, it was the last thing that almost drove her insane: his complete disregard for the library's no-food-no-drink policy. She twitched visibly, and before she could stop herself, she was storming towards him, whispering sharply through her clenched teeth: “And just what do you think you're doing here?”

Slowly, Scrivener turned his eyes towards her, peering over his glasses at the seething unicorn... not that seething unicorns were anything he wasn't used to. Then he brightened slightly, sitting up a bit and dropping the biography on the table. “Twilight Sparkle, right? Enjoy your reading? You look like you did.”

Twilight's mouth worked for a moment, and then she forced herself to ignore this comment even as she blushed deeper before finally retorting: “Did you enjoy reading those books you stole from me?”

“Yes.” Scrivener Blooms answered almost cheerfully, and the violet mare was again struck dumb before he glanced down at the biography on the table, shifting and dropping his rear hooves to the ground as he cradled his cola against his body. “You didn't happen to sign out any of the biographies from the Starswirl shelf, did you?”

“Not that it's any of your business, but I didn't.” Twilight replied stiffly, and then she strode towards the table and glared across it at the charcoal stallion as he simply sipped at his cola and looked at her curiously. “Are you done? Are you leaving?”

“Why, did you want to buy me a coffee?” Scrivener asked, and for a moment Twilight thought he was serious, staring at him before the charcoal stallion sighed and rolled his eyes, muttering: “Unicorns. But no, I may be done but I'm not going to move. I have a right to sit at this table if I want.”

“I have important research to do, work!” Twilight gritted her teeth, glaring at him challengingly, and Scrivener glowered back before the violet mare threw her satchel on the table with a huff. “But I guess you don't know anything about work, do you?”

Scrivener's eyes narrowed slightly, but then he only grumbled and crossed his forelegs, replying mildly: “I know more about work than you ever will. I mean, what do you do all day, read and make your horn glow?”

“Magic is a very intense, difficult field of study!” Twilight snapped, glaring across at him balefully. “I've spent years and years practicing and honing, training day in and out... who do you even think you are?”

“I really don't know, the voices in my head get me all confused sometimes.” Scrivener replied seriously, reaching up and whirling his front hooves on either side of his head. “And I'm sure it is, Twilight Sparkle. Why, all the studying I see at the Magic Academy. The time invested. The books read and papers written. I mean, just recently I saw what was clearly a serious intellectual debate in the halls, not a bunch of preppy unicorn mares talking about how cute their coltfriends are.”

“I-I'm not like them!” Twilight Sparkle glared at him angrily, feeling oddly hurt before she shook her head quickly, trying to shake off her emotions with a huff before muttering: “I don't know why you're Court Poet. You sound like a jerk, not a poet.”

“I can be both.” Scrivener said with a shrug, and then he slipped out of his chair, and Twilight grumpily watched as he stood and guzzled the last of his cola from the bottle. Her eyes roved down, and managed to catch sight of his cutie mark: a black rose blossom, with a raven-feather quill overtop it. She guessed that meant his special talent really was writing... even if she also felt it could be some complex metaphor for 'mean stallion with a talent for driving other ponies insane.'

There was silence for a moment, and then Scrivener dropped the empty bottle on the table and sniffed loudly, saying mildly: “Well, it's been fun, but I have to over to the Magic Academy now and pick on some other unicorns.”

“What are you doing at the Magic Academy?” Twilight asked in surprise, rearing back and blinking, and Scrivener only smiled slightly, making the mare glare. “You're arrogant, you know that?”

“I've been called worse.” Scrivener shrugged, and then he paused for a moment before answering finally: “And well... Celestia wants me to write some things on the history of the Magic Academy. So I've got this fancy research pass-” He tapped the red tag on the string around his neck. “-and that on top of the fact I'm Court Poet and only Celestia can really order me to do anything means that I can go do anything anywhere I want. So I've been having fun wandering around the school.”

“Having fun, instead of working. You sound just like some of my classmates.” Twilight shook her head slowly, frowning disapprovingly at him, and Scrivener fixed her with a sour look. “You better hope that nopony talks to Princess Celestia about your behavior. I don't know what things are like where you grew up, but you've been given a really important opportunity here and you should make the most of it.”

Scrivener's features slowly puckered, clearly taking Twilight's words the wrong way, but the violet mare only looked steadily back at him even as he glared at her. After a few moments, the stallion was the one to roll his eyes and turn away with a mutter, and the violet mare sat down at the table, calling after him awkwardly: “I'm just trying to give you some advice!”

The stallion halted, peered over his shoulder at her, and then he spun suddenly around, bowing his head politely. Twilight was caught off guard by this, feeling pleased with herself before she tilted her head when Scrivener said kindly: “You're right. Advice is good. And Twilight, I have some great advice for you.”

He strode towards her, leaning forwards earnestly, and Twilight Sparkle couldn't help but tilt her head before Scrivener said seriously: “Start pretending you're a stallion. Because even if Celestia is the Princess, all the ponies we remember from the past are stallions. Hell, everyone talks about Starswirl the Bearded, no one talks about his apprentice what's-her-name, even if she helped found Equestria. So start pretending you're a stallion. Because you look and sound like one anyway, and I think that's the only way you can really succeed if you want to follow this whole magic unicorn thing.”

Scrivener smiled at her, and Twilight's mind shut down for a moment as she stared at him, before slowly, lethargically, she started to process what he had said... and then the violet mare leaned forwards, horn sparking as she shouted furiously: “What is wrong with you?”

“I'm surrounded by idiots!” Scrivener shouted back, and Twilight felt her eye twitch before Scrivener suddenly asked in a curious voice, like nothing had happened: “Hey, by the way, can you pass me my book?”

Twilight snapped her horn out, flinging the biography of Starswirl the Bearded as hard as she dared at the earth pony's head, but he quickly ducked... and instead, the large book smacked loudly into the face of a library assistant who was approaching to see what all the ruckus was about. The mare was knocked sprawling with a yelp, and Scrivener stared at the librarian, then stared over at Twilight, who gaped back before stumbling to her hooves, mouth working spasmodically, unable to believe what she had just done.

But before she could say anything, the librarian was on her hooves, glaring at them both furiously and pointing towards the exit as she snapped: “Both of you, get out, get out of the library right now! Out!”

Twilight continued to mouth wordlessly, looking back and forth and almost whimpering in disbelief... and then a minute later, she and Scrivener were both almost flung out of the library doors by the surprisingly-strong mare, landing on their rears in the hall outside. Scrivener grumbled, but looked as calm as if this was an everyday occurrence for him, while Twilight hugged herself and rocked slowly back and forth on the spot, whimpering and staring wildly around as she babbled: “I... no, no, this is a bad dream, this is a nightmare, no no no no no, I... no, no, no... this can't be happening.”

“So uh. Hi there.” Scrivener said lamely, and when the violet mare didn't seem to hear him, the earth pony winced, feeling both awkward and a little ashamed of himself. He watched the unicorn as she continued to rock back and forth, and then he sighed, muttering mentally: Why can't I have this effect on every pony I don't like? Poor kid, though. Didn't mean to scare her that much.

Gingerly, Scrivener reached down and touched her shoulder, and Twilight Sparkle stared up at him, shaking her head wildly as she rambled: “I... I've never.... I've never been thrown out of anywhere before! What if Princess Celestia finds out? Oh no, no, no what have I done, what have I done, oh no...”

“Oh, don't worry, you get used to it.” Scrivener said after a moment in a weak attempt to be reassuring, and when Twilight only went back to whimpering, the stallion rolled his eyes before he cleared his throat and rose a hoof, saying mildly: “Hi, Celestia!”

Twilight almost screamed as she leapt to her hooves, staring over her shoulder with wide eyes... and right at a Royal Guard, the Pegasus gaping at the reaction of the violet mare before Scrivener said blandly: “In case you're confused, Twilight, that's not Princess Celestia. I just told a lie.”

“What is wrong with you?” Twilight shouted over her shoulder, and ponies in the hallway stared before all of them hurried on their way, including the Royal Guard, as the violet mare turned her furious eyes on Scrivener Blooms. But the charcoal stallion seemed unfettered, even as he leaned away with a wince when she yelled at him: “You just got me thrown out of the library! You... you are a troublemaker! I hate you!”

“Oh you just broke my sensitive tiny little heart.” Scrivener replied dryly, reaching up and touching his breast, and Twilight's eye twitched before the stallion turned and strode away, saying over his shoulder wryly: “You're welcome, by the way.”

“For what?” Twilight shouted incredulously, staring in disbelief at his back, but Scrivener Blooms only smiled as he strode off, looking pleased with himself.

Twilight watched him leave with disbelief... and then she let out a growl of frustration and rolled her head on her shoulders before storming away. But her anger at him and her terror of being thrown out of the library soon canceled each other out, and left her so tired and moody that all she could do was drag herself back to her dormitory and throw herself down on the bed with a mutter.

Scrivener Blooms. She was going to talk to Celestia about him. She was going to file a complaint. She was going to write an angry letter. But first, she was going to sleep, and hope that at least there she could escape any thought of the horrible stallion and the way he kept ruining her life.

A week passed, during which Twilight Sparkle tiptoed around the library and glared suspiciously around the Magic Academy. But she managed to avoid running into the stallion, even though she had caught sight of him once sitting in the school courtyard. But he'd been busy writing in a little booklet and hadn't noticed her... although she'd had the strangest urge to go over and start an argument with him. Or kick him. Kicking him would be nice.

She had complained to Princess Celestia about him, but the Princess of the Sun had only smiled kindly and told her gently that she chose Scrivener Blooms for a reason. She even suggested trying to make friends with him, but Twilight didn't have time for friends as it was: she definitely did not want to waste it with the obnoxious stallion.

Then, while she was browsing through book in the library one day, she strode around a shelf and found herself staring at Scrivener Blooms. The stallion had his back to her, however, and... there was a tiny red-scaled reptile clinging to his mane and peering over his head. Twilight Sparkle recognized it after a moment as a pseudodragon, a very rare magical creature.

The stallion was arguing with somepony, and Twilight stepped a little closer, leaning up a bit curiously to see that it was one of the unicorn nobles from the Royal Court. Anger distorted his handsome features as the white stallion tried to loom over Scrivener, but Scrivener only glared back grumpily even as the unicorn spat: “-thief and a liar! You insult me by refusing this offer, and I won't put up with it anymore! Everypony knows that last poem you read to the Royal Court, that was the last straw for you, and Princess Celestia is going to have you fired!”

“Yeah, nice try. The Royal Court is already focused on some new drama, and you aren't really offering me anything. Sammy's mine, go get your own pseudodragon.” Scrivener paused, then he added wryly: “Oh wait, you can't, can you?”

“Be quiet!” the white unicorn hissed, and then he ground his teeth together loudly before snapping: “What are you going to do when one day you push too far, you pathetic little slave hoof?”

Twilight covered her mouth at this, eyes widening in shock from where she was hiding: that was one of the worst names anyone could call an earth pony. But Scrivener barely seemed affected by it, only looking mildly, fearlessly up at the unicorn as he answered quietly: “I'm not afraid of you or your kind, proud-horn. Threaten me all you want but I know that unlike the past, I'm safe from all of you. Maybe I don't know how long that's going to last, but I'm determined to make the most of it and I'm going to show you unicorns exactly what I think of all of you, and no one's going to stop me or lay a hoof on me. You know that, and I know that. So back off.”

The unicorn stallion looked both surprised and a little unnerved, stepping backwards... and then he cursed under his breath before trying one last gambit, saying roughly: “And what if the past catches up to you, Scrivener Blooms? I want that pseudodragon, and you don't want anyone to know where you came from, or what a hornless little freak you are, right?”

Scrivener ground his teeth together for a moment... and then he took a slow breath before suddenly smiling grimly, glancing up and saying loudly: “Sammy, looks like he really does want you bad. I guess I have no other choice.”

The unicorn began to brighten, stepping towards the other stallion, and then Scrivener ordered sharply: “Sammy, go get him!”

Scrivener snapped his head forwards, and the pseudodragon launched himself at the same time with a screech, wings spread and claws reaching up. He collided with the unicorn's face before beginning to bite and claw madly at his features and mane, and the white equine squealed loudly in pain and terror as he staggered backwards and began to run wildly around in a circle until he crashed into a nearby desk and half-flipped over it. Sammy was launched in one direction and the unicorn stallion flew in the other, crashing down on his back before he immediately leapt to his hooves and bolted away, as the pseudodragon chirped angrily and bounced around, doing a furious little dance.

Then Scrivener smiled before striding forwards and clicking his tongue, and the pseudodragon hurried over to him before quickly crawling back up to perch safely on the stallion's head. A moment later, Scrivener glanced absently towards approaching hoofsteps, and then the stallion sighed tiredly and dropped his head, saying wryly: “I know, I know. Get out of the library. I'm going, I'm going.”

Twilight slipped slowly around the shelf so she could watch Scrivener leave, studying him intently and feeling... she wasn't quite sure. She still thought he was a jerk, but had a feeling there was something else there... or at least, maybe he had a reason for acting the way he did.

She tried to move on to research, but for some reason, couldn't concentrate... and finally, she decided to instead head to the Magic Academy on a whim, telling herself it was because she wanted to look at the research archives.

Somehow, she was unsurprised when she saw Scrivener Blooms in the courtyard, once more jotting down notes... and the violet mare hesitated only a moment before approaching, telling herself it was because she just wanted to prove she wasn't afraid of him and wasn't trying to hide from him.

She looked down at him, and he ignored her completely, making her frown slowly before her eyes awkwardly roved up to the pseudodragon on his head. It looked up at her curiously with its little blue eyes, studying her intently, and Twilight opened her mouth... hesitated as she saw Scrivener was still writing... and then she realized that he wasn't ignoring her so much as he actually didn't seem to realize she was there, with how focused he was on his work.

Twilight Sparkle looked down thoughtfully... then she carefully leaned down before saying loudly in his ear: “You should pretend to be a mare, all great novelists were mares.”

Scrivener jumped with a yelp, dragging his quill over the page and almost ripping it, before he glared furiously over at Twilight as she grinned and stood back, feeling proud of herself. On the stallion's head, Sammy chirped brightly, the pseudodragon kneading Scrivener's mane with its little claws before the stallion grumbled and glowered up at his pet. “You shut up. And you shut up too, Sparkles, they were not. There were plenty of important and better-remembered stallions.”

“Where did you get that pseudodragon? Aren't they supposed to be extremely rare?” Twilight asked curiously, and Scrivener cleared his throat and slowly looked away as Sammy chirped again as if in answer. Twilight frowned, then followed the stallion's eyes to the path that the charcoal earth pony had looked at... and then her eyes widened in shock as something in her mind clicked and she asked incredulously: “You? You were the thief who stole the pseudodragon from the research wing?”

“No, hell no!” Scrivener said hurriedly, shaking his head violently, making the tiny dragon on his head squawk loudly and cling tightly to his scalp. “I was just... uh... doing late night research and... he followed me home! The egg hatched right in front of me!”

“You, research? I don't even know you and I know that's a lie.” Twilight said flatly, and then she frowned even more, glaring down at him. “And so the egg followed you magically home and then it hatched?”

“Hey, you can't use the word 'magic' to express disbelief, you're a freaking unicorn in a freaking magic academy.” Scrivener retorted immediately, and the violet mare rolled her eyes before Scrivener said moodily: “Look, he saw me when he hatched while I was in the exotic animals wing. He imprinted on me or... I imprinted on him, whichever way it goes, so... there.”

Twilight only shook her head grouchily, but she didn't say anything further, thinking quietly of the argument she had seen before she asked finally: “Why don't you like unicorns?”

Scrivener looked up at her sharply, and Twilight winced a bit as she realized she'd maybe been a little too specific... but a moment later, the charcoal stallion only mumbled a bit, then looked back at his notebook, rubbing at the damaged page with a hoof. “You wouldn't understand.”

The violet mare studied him, and then she shrugged a little, a faint blush tinging her cheeks as she looked away before wondering what the hell she was doing here. Scrivener looked up at her, looking as if he was asking the same question, before the violet mare blushed deeper and mumbled: “Well, bye.”

With that, she hurried off towards the research wing, and Sammy chirped after her as Scrivener looked nonplussed, then simply shrugged and looked back down at his book, muttering: “Unicorns. They're all crazy. Right Sammy?”

The pseudodragon responded by firmly nipping his ear, making him wince a bit before Scrivener grumbled and went back to work for a while. He was still sitting under the tree when Twilight left the building, and he couldn't help but watch as she made her way quickly across the courtyard. Part of him wanted to call out to her, but he resisted it: he had harassed her enough for one day, he felt. And besides, she was a unicorn and special and all that, but... she seemed like a nice enough person. Uptight, maybe a little obsessive-compulsive, but he'd met worse.

That night, Scrivener made his way back to his little apartment near the Castle galleries... he liked it here. It was quiet and peaceful, and he let himself inside with a sigh of relief. It was very cozy: his bathroom had a full bath, he'd converted the den into a messy office and had devoted one corner to toys and care-taking equipment for his pseudodragon, and his bedroom had a big cozy bed with a wonderful heavy blanket.

To him, the climate of Canterlot was very warm, but he still liked few things better than flopping down on his bed, pulling the blanket up, and simply lazing. After his childhood, being able to lay in a real bed, cover up with such a luxurious blanket, and rest his head on a pillow... well, it was hard to describe how comforting it was, especially if you didn't know about the life he had lived. And as far as Scrivener was concerned, there was no reason anyone should know about the life he had lived.

The stallion reached up and quietly rubbed at his forehead in an old, compulsive gesture, rubbing over a softer spot near the crown of his skull: the hollow beneath the skin, where a horn was supposed to be, the horn that he had been born without.

He was pretty sure that Celestia knew he wasn't actually an earth pony, but a hornless unicorn, but most ponies never figured it out and he preferred to keep it that way. Like he preferred no one to know that he had been raised in the elitist far north, among unicorns who had seen him as a freak of nature, his lack of a horn making him an abomination, a slave hoof. But those days were over now, and here he was, in Canterlot, where he had enough influence and importance to be able to ignore and stand up to the unicorn nobles that reminded him far too much of home.

He recognized fully it was perhaps more than a little childish, but he'd found it was fairly safe to be rude to most privileged unicorns on principle. Most of them did fall under the category of 'jerk,' even if had met a few who he had a more neutral or pleasant opinion of. And Twilight Sparkle was... well... she was okay, he supposed.

Scrivener let his mind wander around this subject for a little while as he puttered around his apartment: he didn't really need to do any more work or research right now, so he amused himself by playing with his pet pseudodragon for an hour or so, and then neatening up a few things when Sammy got tired. Most of his nights were like this, spent quiet and with just his pet for company, but spending time with the pseudodragon was more than enough socializing for him.

The next few days were quiet: Scrivener wandered around Canterlot, worked on the Magic Academy project. He had done the brunt of the work already, but he was having trouble reworking one of the stories in particular, about Starswirl's apprentice. He just couldn't grasp her character and hated the way she was portrayed in the original ballad... it reeked of the ninth-century Flowerquill's 'idolization,' where female and male characters were shaped into what, at the time, had been society's perfect vision of the roles each gender should play.

Unlike what most ponies thought, Scrivener did take pride in his work, and he knew literature and mythology forwards and backwards. When he wasn't wandering around flaunting his power or playing with Sammy, he was usually reading or writing. He just hated writing his insipid little poems for the Royal Court, and he hated the essays and outlined projects he was asked to write by the nobles, and he wasn't very fond of working on speeches, either.

On his personal projects he worked hard, and if something caught his interest he threw his all into it: and even if he'd never admit it, the anthology of stories and ballads he was supposed to put together had done just that. Originally, he'd thought he was supposed to write an anthem for the school, and then edit and cobble together a whole bunch of stories from different authors. But Celestia had been surprisingly firm in telling him that no, she wanted him to draw on all these different stories she had named as inspiration, to credit and name the originals, but to rewrite his own version of each and every one.

To this day, Scrivener Blooms didn't dare ask just why the hell he had been hired on in the first place. The poetry he'd submitted had been some of his best work, but he was pretty sure his best work also wasn't precisely what ponies had in mind when they wanted to see something written by the Court Poet of Canterlot. He thought that was why he was a little overeager when it came to throwing his weight around to get his way... any day now, and he expected Celestia to tell him this had all been some grand prank and they were replacing him with someone much more suited to the task.

Scrivener was ruminating on this and other subjects as he sat at the back table in the library one morning, before he looked up when he saw Twilight Sparkle approaching. She immediately scowled at him, and he scowled back, before Sammy chirped happily on top of his head.

Twilight looked up at the pseudodragon for a moment, then rolled her eyes before asking dryly: “Isn't it against the rules to have pets in the library?”

“Yes, but the librarians only throw me out for major violations. I can get away with a lot.” Scrivener replied mildly, and then he gave her a thoughtful look when Twilight grumbled and threw her things on the table, sitting down at the chair furthest from him. “Are we friends now? Is this our friendship table?”

“No, we're not, and no, this is not. This is my table, Scrivener. I was sitting here before you were even in Canterlot, let alone Court Poet.” Twilight said irritably, and the charcoal stallion favored her with a flat look. “Don't you have some other ponies to go pick on?”

“No, I read my new poem and bully the Royal Court tomorrow. Should be fun.” Scrivener replied easily, and Twilight looked up curiously. “Well, like I said, I have a job, Twilight Sparkle. I'm not like you. I have to buy my own groceries, and pay bills, and evade taxes.”

Twilight didn't rise to the bait this time, only rolling her eyes before smiling when Sammy jumped off Scrivener's head and skittered over to the violet mare. She hesitantly reached up and touched him, and Sammy almost purred as he rubbed his head into her front hoof, Scrivener looking sourly at the pseudodragon. “Traitor.”

Sammy huffed over his shoulder, seeming to understand this, and Twilight blushed a little before clearing her throat and awkwardly pushing at the little reptile as she turned her eyes to her work, mumbling: “I'm... I have to work now.”

Scrivener grunted, then he glanced down at his own notebook before flipping it closed. “Well, have fun with that, Sparkles.”

“Can you not call me that?” Twilight looked over at him with exasperation, and Scrivener looked back innocently, making her glare. “Don't start.”

“Don't start what, Sparkles? Your name is Sparkles, isn't it, Sparkles?” Scrivener asked curiously, and Twilight fixed him with a withering look as her horn sparked. “Also, did you know that 'twilight' is the shortest and often dullest part of the day? It's when vapid teenagers stare at the setting sun and fail to recognize it's a metaphor for life ending, not eternal love.”

Twilight slowly opened her mouth... and then she closed it, took a breath, and asked moodily: “Do you pick on me because you envy the fact I'm a unicorn, or because you envy the fact that I'm working hard towards being the best I can be and you seem distinctly unhappy with what's apparently the high point of your entire life?”

Scrivener's mouth fell open, and Twilight realized after a moment that she had perhaps been a little harsher than she'd meant to, but her lack of social skills and how purely frustrated the stallion made her had pushed her a little too hard. But a moment later, the stallion narrowed his eyes, leaning towards her and asking flatly: “Oh really? And where are you headed in life, to be a fat unicorn behind a desk or a fat unicorn wearing a funny magic hat? Because I will say this, at least you're already fat.”

Twilight reared back at this, and then her eyes blazed as she ground her teeth together and struggled for a reply... and for all her intellect, all she could manage on this still-alien verbal battleground was: “You're fat!”

“No, you're fat!” Scrivener shouted in return, sounding almost triumphant as he stomped towards her, and Twilight shoved herself out of her chair to glare across at him, refusing to be intimidated or beaten by the lanky stallion.

“You're fat! Your head is so fat that... that all of Canterlot could fit inside your skull, and you wouldn't even feel it because you clearly don't have a brain!” Twilight snapped, and then she let out a short 'ha!' of victory.

“Well your face is so fat that if it wasn't crammed up the butt of the Princess all the time it would eclipse the sun!” Scrivener replied immediately, and Twilight reared back, eyes widening in surprise before she shook her head violently.

“My head is not crammed up her butt! I... I have a lot of respect for Princess Celestia, everypony should, you... but you don't respect anything, do you? You wouldn't know respect if it... it bit you in your fat butt!” Twilight said harshly, her voice cracking a little, and Scrivener's eyes blazed as the violet mare felt a violent tumult of emotions run through her.

Scrivener began to open his mouth to reply with some mockery, even if he recognized that Twilight was probably on the verge of crying, but his own anger was roiling between the guilt and shame... but then a throat cleared loudly, and both unicorn and earth pony looked to the side to stare at the librarian, who was slowly tapping a hoof against the ground and glaring at them both.

The two traded looks, both slumping and dropping their heads forwards, and then Scrivener held up a hoof and muttered: “We'll throw ourselves out.”

The librarian only rolled her eyes as both ponies gathered up their things, then headed out into the hall side-by-side, before they traded sour looks at each other... but after a moment, Scrivener dropped his head and mumbled an apology. Twilight blinked, not believing what she heard, and she looked at him quickly, asking: “What?”

He glanced towards her, hesitated... and then lied finally: “I said, do you want to buy me a coffee now?”

“I hate you.” Twilight muttered, and she shook her head, and they turned their backs to each other at almost the same time, before the violet mare closed her eyes tightly, hesitated, then looked over her shoulder and mumbled: “Scrivener.”

Scrivener halted and glanced over his shoulder, and they looked at each other awkwardly before Twilight Sparkle averted her eyes and lost her nerve, instead hurrying onwards. Scrivener looked after her blankly for a moment... then simply shrugged and turned around, mumbling to himself.

Over the next few weeks, Twilight Sparkle and Scrivener Blooms fell into an unconscious, fairly regular routine. They would catch one-another in the library, usually in the morning, and then proceed to insult and irritate one-another before often being thrown out together. After numerous complaints, Princess Celestia had mentioned to both ponies that the library staff was getting a little annoyed with their antics, but she hadn't scolded either of them, which relieved Twilight Sparkle and left Scrivener Blooms curious.

They weren't friends: in a way, they were almost rivals, engaged in an endless duel to see who could outmatch the other in their verbal warfare. Scrivener drove Twilight insane not just because he was sarcastic and insulting, but because he so good at being sarcastic and insulting; Twilight frustrated Scrivener because she could always find every little hole in his arguments and never missed the tiniest details, making it impossible for him to get away with lying or worming around their arguments.

But at times they formed odd truces, too, and over time they'd grown more used to each other and less malicious. The best example of this was one day when Twilight Sparkle had dragged herself through the library, looking exhausted and miserable, and Scrivener hadn't been able to help staring at her as she'd approached the back table he always made sure to take over. Sometimes Twilight took a different table or desk these days, but on this particular day, every other spot had been filled by other stressed-looking students.

Twilight flung her things onto the table, then looked sourly over at the earth pony: he had several stacks of books on the table, forming a barrier behind which he had a cola, his writing implements, and a few loose papers. Sammy was curled up on top of one of the piles, snoozing, and the violet mare twitched a bit before asking waspishly: “What if somepony needs those books? What are you even doing here?”

“I'm sure plenty of ponies do need these books, actually. Let me guess, you're stressed because of exams?” Scrivener looked up with wry entertainment in his eyes, tilting his head, and Twilight gave him a horrible look, the earth pony clearing his throat and ducking behind his barricade of books. “Alright, forget I said anything. I need these books too, though. Research.”

In response, Twilight muttered a swear and then emptied her satchel, and the two fell into an awkward, silent stalemate for a while. The violet unicorn read, and Scrivener scribbled notes as he referred every now and then to the papers beside him, until he finally glanced up when Twilight hit the desk with a hoof and visibly trembled.

She had a quill beside her, but was digging through her clearly-empty satchel, looking strangely upset as she tried vainly to find an inkwell. Scrivener watched her for a few moments, and then he sighed silently to himself at how upset she looked before calmly hooking his own inkwell with a hoof and sliding it around the table and over to her.

Twilight glanced up in surprise, but Scrivener only picked up one of the textbooks from the pile and began to read. The mare smiled faintly at him, studying him for a moment, but then she quickly cast her eyes down and dipped her quill in the ink before rapidly beginning to make notes over the rumpled parchment in front of her.

They passed an hour in quiet, and then Scrivener left, leaving the little pot of ink behind. Twilight Sparkle had been thankful for it... more thankful than she wanted to admit.

Only a few days later, Scrivener had been humming to himself and walking across the Magic Academy courtyard, Sammy happily trotting through the grasses beside him. Celestia had asked him to do the first reading of the school's anthem himself, and he was looking forwards to it. Not because he enjoyed standing on stage, leaving himself vulnerable to the criticism of others... because he would be standing on stage in front of an army of high-class unicorns, an earth pony that had written an anthem summing up their own school. It nicely fed his ego.

He looked back and forth curiously as he strode through the grasses: exams were still going on, and the courtyard was busy today. Unicorns were practicing all kinds of different magic, summoning up weather, levitating objects, and practicing other spells that made Scrivener watch curiously... and perhaps a little enviously, too.

But then, as he'd been heading towards the door, a unicorn that was getting frustrated with her magic shook her horn wildly as she tried to mimic her friend's weather spell, and it glowed brightly before there was a loud crackle. Scrivener had enough time to look up before a blast of lightning hammered down from the sky, the earth pony yelling as it tore through the air beside him. He staggered and fell over, then blinked a few times and let out a sigh of relief as he touched his own chest and realized that the powerful blast of lightning had missed.

He glared at the unicorn, who was slowly going pale as she and other students stared at him, and then the earth pony muttered: “Goes to show everything I said is true. Come on Sammy... Sammy?”

Scrivener Blooms frowned, looking back and forth for his pseudodragon, before his eyes roved down, and his breath caught in his throat, a tremble racing through his body, as he stared at the charred corpse of the reptile, smoke wafting silently towards the sky.

The stallion reached slowly forwards... and that was really the last thing he remembered about the day. Apparently he'd picked up his poor lost pet, cradled him, ignored everypony around him, and then somehow still gone inside, still given the speech he was supposed to, but he didn't remember any of it. The next thing he remembered was burying Sammy himself under cover of darkness out in one of the fields.

He felt like he'd lost his only friend, and for a few days, he simply sat around in his apartment, clunking his head against things and playing with Sammy's toys. Celestia had given him some time off, but even though he appreciated it, soon enough he realized that sitting around and doing nothing was just making things worse, and making him even more bitter. So one early morning, he slumped over to the library.

He dug up a few books and hid behind them at his usual table, and eventually fallen asleep with his head on his forelegs. He'd stayed like that until someone had lightly shaken him awake, and he'd looked miserably up to see Twilight standing over him, looking down at him awkwardly.

“Uh... hey.” she said finally, and Scrivener only nodded a little to her, before the violet mare said quietly: “It's... well, it's almost dinnertime, Scrivy. You were here when I got in a few hours ago and... I... thought I should let you know. Some ponies have been staring.”

“That's different from usual.” Scrivener muttered, and then the Court Poet turned his head away and dropped it back on his forelegs, sighing. “I'm just going to sulk for a little while longer. Thanks for waking me up, really, it's nice to be out of the comforting womb of darkness and in cold, lonely reality.”

“You're such a jerk.” Twilight said softly, and then she hesitated before reaching up and touching his shoulder gingerly. “I'm... I'm sorry about what happened.”

Scrivener looked silently towards her... then he nodded a little, and Twilight Sparkle smiled hesitantly, opened her mouth nervously... then simply closed it and turned to quickly leave. Scrivener watched her go, then he sighed and dropped his face back in his forelegs... but twenty minutes later, he dragged himself to his hooves.

On his way out, he moodily looked over to see a unicorn arguing angrily with one of the librarians at the desk, making her quail as he gestured angrily back and forth, and Scrivener grumbled before striding up to the desk. The librarian looked at him with something like horror, probably expecting the earth pony to make things worse as the unicorn continued to rant loudly about refusing to pay a late fee and demanding to sign out new books and blah blah blah.

Instead, Scrivener reached across the desk to grab the date stamp and ink pad, and he smushed the stamp firmly down before patting the unicorn on the shoulder. The incensed noble turned to glare at him, and Scrivener slammed the stamp into his forehead, knocking the unicorn stumbling and into stupid silence.

He began to open his mouth, and Scrivener firmly stamped the unicorn's face again, smearing another date over his ivory coat, and then another, before the unicorn stallion finally managed to skitter out of range of the earth pony, howling incredulously: “What are you doing?”

“Well, it sounds like you have a little problem with remembering the date. So I'm helping you with that.” Scrivener said reasonably, and when the unicorn stepped forwards, glaring furiously, Scrivener stamped the stallion's face again, making him yelp. “Now you can go look in the mirror, compare the dates stamped on your face to the dates stamped in your books, and maybe you'll finally understand that eight days is actually more than seven days, and you are, in fact, late.”

“Who do you think you are! You can't-” The unicorn tried to step forwards again, tried to be intimidating, and Scrivener stamped his face again. He spluttered, glared... and was stamped again the moment he opened his mouth. And then Scrivener leapt forwards, hammering the stamp in a wild flurry against the unicorn's face, and a moment later the large, brawny stallion turned and bolted for the exit with a squeal, features covered in smeared ink.

Scrivener tossed the date stamp back down onto the counter, then glanced mildly at the librarian, who stared at him before the earth pony remarked mildly: “You know, I feel a lot better now. I mean, a lot better.”

The charcoal stallion let his eyes slide upwards towards the ceiling, and then he nodded thoughtfully once before turning and heading towards the exit himself. But the moment he stepped outside, he found two large, burly Royal Guards waiting for him, both glaring at the earth pony as the ink-splattered, stamped unicorn glared out from behind them, snapping: “That's him! Get him!”

“Well, uh...” Scrivener lowered his head thoughtfully for a moment, then he looked up as if an idea had struck him, opening his mouth, and both Royal Guards frowned at him before the earth pony spun hurriedly to the side and dashed quickly off.

The Royal Guards gave chase, yelling and shouting at him, but Scrivener had more than once been chased around Canterlot by angry unicorns, and he had an escape route of sorts that he often followed in these situations as he made a beeline for the throne room. And, as expected, the guards broke off the chase once he drew close to the castle's inner rooms, and the earth pony slowed his pace with a wheeze, dropping his head awkwardly.

He didn't always get away with being a complete jerk to everyone, after all: unicorn nobles had no influence over him, but that didn't mean the angrier ones just sat back and took his abuse. The meaner ones liked to bully the guards into trying to arrest him or just beat on him, and the guards were much more likely to listen to a high-standing noble than a Court Poet. Scrivener, after all, couldn't be fired by anyone except Celestia, as long as he did his minimum amount of work, and he could make a nuisance of himself anywhere he wanted and no one could tell him what to do... but he also had pretty much no real authority.

It probably didn't help none of the soldiers really liked him, either. Scrivener's mix of contempt for authority and strong dislike of unicorns sometimes resulted in him saying or doing very stupid things, after all, particularly when he came across pretty-boy officers who probably spent more time combing their manes than doing their jobs.

Scrivener shook his head a bit, and then he glanced around: since the evening had settled in, only a few late meetings were in session, and the earth pony decided to head to wander around a little and perhaps check the schedule for tomorrow, if he should skip out on the meetings like he usually did or actually sit in his seat and pretend to take part in the discussion. Then he could go back to his apartment, and try to get some sleep.

That evening was a return to Scrivener's odd idea of 'normal,' even if he continued to hurt over Sammy's loss, and still found himself often playing with the pseudodragon's toys in the weeks that followed. But it had been the first important step forwards, and in a month or so, Scrivener was mostly back to normal, floating along at his usual level of cynical, sarcastic jerk instead of being either miserable or vengeful.

Twilight Sparkle was oddly relieved by Scrivener returning to normal, although she told herself it was because otherwise he was even more difficult to put up with. She then excused the fact she often had to 'put up with him' by rationalizing that they were almost always in the library at the same time, and they both tended to stick to the same areas of Canterlot Castle.

Some days more than others it was easier to convinced herself she really was not a fan of Scrivener, such as the day she had been with Princess Celestia in the library. They sat at the back table with several important delegates, and Twilight was trying her best not to hyperventilate, both excited and insanely anxious as she sat beside the enormous, beautiful ivory winged unicorn, as the rainbow, ephemeral mane of the Princess flowed and twisted slowly and she calmly discussed trade routes and other business with the ambassadors from another nation.

Twilight wasn't entirely sure why Princess Celestia wanted her here, but she was glad for it: any time with her mentor was time well-spent, and being trusted even just to watch the Princess at work felt like a gift. And then the violet mare caught something in the corner of her eye, and she was distracted as she saw Scrivener Blooms approaching.

Her eyes slowly widened, feeling a sense of growing horror as Scrivener drew nearer... and then two Royal Guards blocked the earth pony's path and some official hurried over, speaking quickly and gesticulating violently. Scrivener glared, replied loudly, but he was far enough away she couldn't really make out the words, and Twilight sighed in relief before returning her attention with a smile to the meeting at hoof.

Scrivener Blooms, meanwhile, looked sourly out at the meeting before he glared over at the official from the Royal Court, adjusting his half-cloak as he said sourly: “Do you not see this stupid thing I'm wearing? Are you dumb or something? Look, Celestia asked me-”

“You will address her as Princess Celestia, with proper respect!” snapped the small, squeaky little mare, the wings of the Pegasus fluttering violently at her sides as she glowered up at him suspiciously. “This meeting is extremely important and no one may proceed past this point, and I have plenty of reasons to doubt the veracity of your statement.”

“No one really uses the word 'veracity' in normal talking, you know that, right? You're trying way too hard... what is that, is that a repressed lower southern accent I hear? Trying to pretend y'ain't done growned up on one o' them farms?” Scrivener asked flatly, and the Pegasus snarled at him, then turned a horrible look on the Royal Guards when one of them coughed and hurriedly turned his eyes away, covering his muzzle with a hoof and awkwardly clearing his throat.

Scrivener sighed as the Pegasus opened her mouth, holding up his own hoof before he said dryly: “Fine. But before I go, I just have to do one little thing, okay?”

The stallion paused as the mare looked up at him suspiciously, and then he turned his eyes past the Royal Guards before shouting as loudly as he could: “Hey, Twilight! Twilight Sparkle! I just wanted to let you know that you left your saddle and your riding crop at my apartment last night! But don't worry, I'll give them back to you... you still have my leather reins, right? Right?”

Twilight turned a magnificent shade of red that Scrivener Blooms could see even from where he was standing, as the delegates fell silent and even Princess Celestia slowly closed her eyes, and Scrivener felt absurdly pleased with himself at the look of horror on the face of the Pegasus beside him before he nodded once and turned away, humming to himself as he strode calmly to the exit.

Scrivener had a bounce in his step for most of the day, until the late afternoon. He'd decided to walk around the castle exterior a little, get some fresh air and just enjoy the day, and things were going great... that was, until Scrivener was suddenly covered in shadow.

The earth pony had looked dumbly back and forth, since everywhere except where he was standing was perfectly bright and happy, and he wondered if he'd finally gotten so bitter he was distorting the world around him. Then a droplet of water had fallen on him, and he had looked stupidly up to see a heavy, ominous raincloud floating just above his head before a vicious, sheeting rain had begun to pour down over him.

The earth pony ran back and forth, yelling incoherently as the cloud chased after him, the earth pony unable to shake off the miniature storm... and on a balcony above, Twilight Sparkle looked balefully down as she leaned over the railing, her horn glowing brightly before she shouted: “Hey, Scrivener Blooms! Princess Celestia wants to see you!”

“Sparkles?” Scrivener looked incredulous, and then he spun towards the castle and glared up at her as best he could through the blinding rain, already soaked to the bone before he snapped in a strangled voice: “Oh come on, it was just a joke! I don't deserve this!”

“You're right. You don't.” Twilight grumbled, and then her horn glowed as she bit her tongue, concentrating... and a moment later, rain turned to blowing snow, and Scrivener yelled in frustration as a white, localized flurry whirled around him, the unicorn looking down at her handiwork as the charcoal stallion staggered around in a circle. “I can be a jerk too, Scrivener Blooms.”

Twilight Sparkle huffed, then turned around and stormed back into the castle as Scrivener cursed and flailed through the snow... and fifteen minutes later, the soaked, snow-covered stallion strode into Celestia's throne room, guards and nobles all staring at the charcoal earth pony as he dripped water and a few remaining wisps of dark cloud floated over his head. He looked moodily back and forth through his wet mane, ivory locks plastered over his face before he asked tiredly: “How can I be of service, Princess Celestia?”

“I think that your... games... with Twilight Sparkle are starting to go just a little too far, Scrivener Blooms.” Celestia said gently as she sat up a bit at the end of the hall, and then she reached a hoof up and covered her mouth, smiling despite herself at the state her Court Poet had been left in.

Scrivener looked sourly through his mane at the Princess of the Sun, not doing very well at hiding his grouchiness, but this only seemed to make Celestia smile wider before she shook her head slowly. “Try and show a little restraint in the future. Perhaps you two could sit down together and just... try and talk things out.”

The charcoal stallion only mumbled a bit, and then he shook himself firmly, splattering water in all directions before sulkily trying to brush his mane out of his eyes. Then he glanced up as Celestia said in a more serious voice: “I need your help for the Summer Sun Celebration, Scrivener Blooms. This year in particular is very important... I already have my speech planned, but I need you to write something for me. Something special. Do you have time to meet in private late tonight?”

The earth pony cocked his head curiously, and then he hesitated before nodding slowly, saying finally: “Of course, Princess Celestia. Not right now, though?”

“No, not right now. This is private.” the Princess replied gently, and Scrivener frowned a bit, but then shrugged before the ivory equine suggested: “Why don't you go and get some rest and dry off? I might need you to work late tonight.”

Scrivener nodded after a moment, bowed a bit, then turned and strode wetly off, hooves squelching with every step he took. But admittedly, he was curious about what Celestia could want... and okay, a little happy, too. One big advantage of being Court Poet was that he got to see a lot of things the public never would, and work on personal projects for Celestia as well as public ones. And best of all, she didn't seem to mind when he forgot to be ultra-polite and respectful.

So maybe in spite of being soaked to the bone, today could still turn out to be a good day. Maybe, just maybe, it was a sign that things were looking up, and life could be good after all. Scrivener smiled at this thought... then sneezed loudly, and his glasses flew off his face and hit the hard floor, both lenses shattering, and the earth pony stared at the little pile of glass and metal before he dropped his head and grumbled: “Screw everything.”

Scrivener had been given a very interesting project: Celestia said someone very important was coming to Equestria, and he was supposed to write a short sonnet in honor of this. She said the theme was sisters coming back together, and that it should play off the idea of opposites working in harmony. Or, if he couldn't work with that, the theme of the night. And most interesting of all, she wanted it done that night.

It was a little difficult, but Scrivener finished it, edited and reworked it several times, and was rather pleased when Celestia approved it because he thought he'd done a good job himself. He'd gone to bed feeling a little smug, thinking of how he was going to brag to Twilight Sparkle the next time he saw her that her mentor liked him more than she did her own apprentice.

The next day, he found out that Twilight Sparkle had been sent to check on the Summer Sun Celebration preparations in the little town of Ponyville, and Scrivener Blooms grumbled to himself and tried to tell himself that writing a personal poem was definitely more important than... overseeing an entire one-thousand-year-anniversary celebration in... oh who am I kidding? Stupid unicorns. Stupid Twilight. Stupid... me.

Then came the night... the night that threatened to last forever, when the sun didn't rise, and news that Celestia had vanished and Nightmare Moon had returned spread far and wide across Equestria like wildfire. Scrivener Blooms spent it in his apartment by his lantern, writing to keep himself calm, pretending he wasn't worried about the Princess, and he definitely wasn't worried about Twilight Sparkle, and trying to tell himself everything was going to be okay.

When the sun rose, it brought with it relief: when news spread far and wide that Twilight Sparkle and her new friends had been the ones to save Princess Celestia, Scrivener had told himself that was envy in his stomach, and he definitely wasn't... proud of her. No, he had no reason to be, none at all, because they still hated each other and it was just one more damn thing for Twilight Sparkle to hold over his head.

Princess Celestia had returned, but cloistered herself up in her quarters with the pony who had been rumored to be Nightmare Moon for the evening, and the entire day that followed. But the next night, the Royal Court had been called to a grand meeting, and Scrivener Blooms had admittedly been curious to meet the 'Night Princess' that had returned. The only thing anyone knew about so-called 'Princess Luna' was gossip and old stories... and Scrivener wondered curiously whether or not the accounts of Nightmare Moon really were true or not, and this actually was the fabled sister of their Princess of the Sun.

The entire Royal Court assembled, and Scrivener grumbled from the back row as he tried to peer over the heads of ponies as Celestia gave a short speech. But he could barely see the meek-looking winged unicorn that half-hid behind her enormous sibling: all he could make out was that her mane looked like starlight, and her coat looked blueish.

It wasn't long before Scrivener got his first up-close view of Princess Luna, however: that very night, Celestia called him to her room. Luna had been half-hiding in a corner, and Celestia had almost protectively placed herself between her and Scrivener, although he hadn't been able to resist leaning slowly to the side to try and peer at the Night Princess while Celestia listed out all the things she wanted done.

He had quite an expansive list: archives and files to be updated, new pages to be written for compendiums and anthologies, histories to be modified... some of it was above and beyond his duties, but for once Scrivener wasn't complaining. Partly because he felt... a little nervous, admittedly. It was like now that Princess Luna had returned, Celestia wanted to write her back into recent history. He could understand why, but at the same time, something about it struck him as... odd.

For a month, he worked on the list, mostly keeping out of trouble, and finding himself working out in the library a lot, like he expected to one day run into Twilight Sparkle. But everyone knew that the Princess had reassigned her to Ponyville for some reason, and it didn't give Scrivener Blooms quite the joy it should have, since in a way it was like he had triumphed. She, the elite unicorn, was relegated to some dumpy little backwater, and here he was, the slave hoof, still Court Poet.

Then, one day, Scrivener was called to meet with the Princess... Princesses, he corrected himself. It was hard to get used to... especially since Celestia seemed to be insistent on continuing to handle everything herself, and Luna seemed to be a princess only in name. He was surprised, however, when he strode into the dining hall where he'd been summoned, and found both winged unicorns sitting at the table and waiting for him.

Luna often followed Celestia around: he thought she was probably a little scared, and he couldn't exactly blame her. He knew what it was like to be an outsider, but he didn't kid himself that even being a jerk as he was, he could know how it felt to be seen as... evil. Or perhaps just pathetic... but he thought that being pitied like that would be far worse than hated.

His eyes studied her as he drew close: she had a peytral and a tiara like Celestia did, but hers were black metal, the chestplate marked with the image of the crescent moon like the cutie mark that adorned her flank. Her raiment and her stature weren't as impressive as her sister's, but her eyes... something about her eyes struck him.

Celestia frowned a little at him, and Scrivener cleared his throat as he quickly turned his gaze to her, before the Princess of the Sun said slowly: “Scrivener Blooms, I don't believe I've introduced her to you yet... but this is my sister, Princess Luna. I would like to reassign you to acting as her personal assistant.”

“Like... like a secretary?” Scrivener looked up lamely, and when Celestia frowned deeper at him, he winced a bit and held up a hoof. “So does this mean I'm fired?”

Celestia blinked in surprise at this, and then she smiled a little as Luna scowled a bit. “Not necessarily... I... suppose you'll still be Court Poet, Scrivener. But I want you to be the one to stay at my sister's side, to teach her about our day and age, and most importantly to help her with her language difficulties. I'd like to move your quarters to the old wing of the castle as well.”

“Oh. So... can I call this a promotion?” Scrivener asked finally, and when Celestia gave him a mild look, the stallion held up his hooves before turning his eyes to Luna. They looked at each other, and then Scrivener Blooms finally cleared his throat and said finally: “Hi. Nice to meet you, Luna... I mean, Princess Luna.”

The sapphire mare reared back in surprise a bit, then shifted a little before Celestia reached out and touched her younger sister's shoulder, and Luna finally replied moodily: “It is... nice to meet thou as well, poet. My sister has told me much of thee. I am... eager to get started.”

Luna looked anything but, and Scrivener smiled a little despite himself, nodding a bit as he watched her mane sway silently around her. Then Celestia glanced back and forth between the two before she smiled, and said gently: “In that case, let me walk you back to my sister's quarters, and you can begin immediately.”

Scrivener and Luna both looked up at Celestia in surprise, but then both of them shrugged and followed when Celestia stood up from the table. The walk was silent and a little awkward, but Scrivener did his best to keep himself serious and professional, not quite daring to test the boundaries just yet: he didn't know anything about Luna, and more importantly, Celestia seemed very protective of her.

All the same, the ivory mare left Luna in Scrivener's care in what he guessed was her quarters: a lonely-looking stone room, outfitted only with a circular blue bed and a large, cracked window, currently with the curtains drawn over it. They had stared at each other for a while, and then Scrivener had decided to just awkwardly leap into things and hope for the best.

He lamely went over what he could remember about modern speech in the simplest terms he could, wishing the whole time he had some of his textbooks to double check his definitions. Luna just stared at him, but when he prompted her, she grouchily began to attempt changing her strange dialect. Scrivener liked listening to her, though... and he thought he liked the way she spoke more when she was using thees and thous over when she was attempting to bluster her way through yous and yours.

Of course, it also got a little frustrating. Scrivener recognized Luna's old, strange dialect as using an auditory descriptive grammar: basically, she used a 'thee' or a 'thou' not based on whether it was grammatically-correct by the established prescribed standard, but when it simply sounded nicer. It made her speech flow like music to his ears, but it also made her sound a little... awkward, if you knew anything about grammar. And he imagined it would probably really stand out in written form.

Luna grumbled about this, then finally complained loudly: “'Tis ridiculous, Court Poet! I do not desire to speak... so... slangishly as thou and the other ponies of this modern age do. And there are much more important things for me to learn and... where has Celestia gone? I desire to see my big sister.”

“Celestia left me with you for a reason, Princess Luna. Look, I'll... ask someone to go and fetch her after we do one more sentence, okay?” Scrivener half-pleaded, and Luna fixed him with a grumpy look. “Please?”

“Nay, 'tis nonsense. I have been doing well, I think. And 'tis only our first night, I believe that I have been doing very well.” Luna said firmly, and Scrivener Blooms closed his eyes and rubbed his head slowly at her childishness.

“Yes. Yes, this has been going just swell.” he muttered finally, and then he winced a bit when Luna looked up at him with a frown, leaning away from him a little.

“What is swollen?” she asked suspiciously, eying him and leaning a little back and forth, and Scrivener stared at her wordlessly for a moment.

Then he realized that she had taken him literally, not understanding how he'd used the word, and he rubbed at his forehead again as he realized morbidly how many definitions must have changed over the years since she'd last heard the words, and how big a task teaching her was going to be... even without the fact she was now glaring at him like he was going to try and molest her or something. “...great.”

“It has swollen... large?” Luna's face puckered further, and then she slowly, slowly began to lean down, and Scrivener stared at her before he winced and stepped hurriedly backwards, suddenly very glad he was wearing his cloak even as he sat on his haunches and tried to make a wall with his front legs over his body. Particularly his lower body.

“Let's... let's just move on, okay?” Scrivener said finally, but Luna was still looking at him with her eyes narrowed, and he wondered morbidly if this was the reason why Celestia had apparently dumped her little sister on him and run away.

“Thou does not look swollen large.” Luna said suddenly, raising her head imperiously, and Scrivener stared at her before she added grouchily: “Except for thy head, that is.”

“Oh wonderful, now I really feel like I'm foal-sitting! Really, you're giving me the time of my life.” Scrivener retorted before he could stop himself, and then he winced a bit and covered his mouth as Luna frowned at him.

“What, thou enjoys this? Thy words make no sense.” Luna complained, and Scrivener dropped his head forwards a bit.

And again, his mouth decided to run before he could remind himself he was talking to a Princess, not a unicorn noble: “No, that was sarcasm. Do you know what sarcasm is? And if you don't, that was a real question, by the way.”

Scrivener realized a moment later he might have gone too far with the glare that Luna fixed him with, and then she strode slowly over to him, looking down at him as the lanky stallion looked lamely up at her. She wasn't Celestia's size, but she still had a good height advantage on him, and much more worryingly at the moment, she could and probably was about to yell at him, then fire him.

And then, suddenly, Luna swung her head forwards and whacked him firmly with her horn, sending him sprawling stupidly on his back as he gaped up at her in disbelief. His mouth worked, and then he scuttled up to his hooves... only for her to firmly bop him again, making him wince and quail a bit before she said firmly: “I do not like thee. Thou art an idiot.”

“Well, I do not like thou.” Scrivener shot back before he could stop himself, and Luna glared at him before her horn glowed, making him squeak as he was hefted into the air by telekinesis, and he rose a hoof and wheezed: “You're... you're much scarier than the ponies I usually pick on. The worst they've ever done is send guards after me. I can outrun guards.”

“Well, Scrivener Blooms, do not ever think thou could outrun me.” Luna replied, but she looked pleased with herself before the glow died out from around her horn, and Scrivener flopped to the ground in front of her, looking lamely up at the winged unicorn as she looked down at him with a smile. Then she blushed suddenly, faltering a bit as Scrivener flinched away from her, and suddenly she looked nervous, hesitant... almost vulnerable.

Scrivener slowly crawled to his hooves, shaking his head out before he looked up at her, and she looked across at him as if waiting for him to run away. But after a moment, he couldn't help but smile, stepping towards her and asking quietly: “So... you're not going to fire me?”

“Why?” Luna asked, looking honestly surprised, and when Scrivener smiled wider, she frowned again, moodily studying him. “Oh, what, thou wishes thou wert assigned to someone else, is that not so? That thou wert far away from fearsome and evil Nightmare Moon?”

Scrivener looked at her for a few moments, and then he remarked: “You're really whiny for the evil and fearsome Nightmare Moon.”

Luna looked shocked at this, then glared and stepped forwards, smacking him again with her horn and making him wince, and he covered his head and glared up at her. The two locked gazes, challenging each other, testing each other, silently studying each other... and then Scrivener finally straightened and brushed at himself, asking dryly: “So are you going to hit me every time I'm a jerk?”

“Aye, I shall.” Luna replied pompously, and then she straightened a bit and smiled across at him. “Art thou going to run away or not, Court Poet?”

“Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm your assistant now, not the Court Poet so much.” Scrivener replied quietly, and when the sapphire mare smiled wider at him, his heart fluttered a little bit before he cleared his throat and straightened, holding out a hoof. “So, Princess-”

“Luna. Only Luna.” the mare said firmly, and Scrivener smiled in return at her before Luna glanced down at his hoof and added: “And nay, Scrivy, I am supposed to offer thou my hoof, and thou kisses it as a sign of fealty. Not the other way around. But fear not, I shall not demand this of thou, mostly because I fear where thy sordid mouth has been.”

“Oh, you and I are going to get along just great.” Scrivener remarked mildly, and when Luna laughed, he couldn't help but give her an entertained look and think that maybe he wasn't being so sarcastic after all.