Of Vows Unbroken and Truths Spoken

by Esle Ynopemos

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Sad, Romance
Length: 4121

Rainbow Dash was loyal. Applejack was honest. Rainbow Dash was honest. Applejack was loyal.

Rainbow Dash was loyal. She would never betray the love of her life.

Applejack was honest. She knew that if she sensed something wrong, she would speak up.

This is a story of the promises we keep, and the ones we break. Of the truths we tell, and the ones we keep silent.

Rated Teen for brief language and some adult themes. Big thanks to Loving Tolerance for giving this a look-over and telling me what works and what doesn't. One of these days, I might even listen to him!

Published 2012-12-28 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-28 20:40:01 UTC

Loyalty. Honesty. Love.

*-*-*

Rainbow Dash was loyal.

She woke with a start. The walls around her were the sterile plaster of her hotel room, not the faded wallpaper of the farmhouse. The sheets tangled around her wings were smooth and silky, not the rough cotton and wool of her bed at home. The blue light of dawn that drifted in through the high window shimmered in the smoky haze of the city, not the clear sky above Ponyville.

It was too dark for her to see the color of the hooves wrapped around her abdomen, but Rainbow knew they were not the strong orange hooves of her wife. She let a soft hiss of air escape through her teeth as she carefully slid out from under the grasp of the sleeping pony in her hotel bed.

Shit, she cursed silently as she let her hooves drop to the floor. The carpet was itchy and rough, but thankfully it did not creak as she made her way into the bathroom. Rainbow Dash took one last glance at the bed before she closed the door securely behind her and locked it. The other mare was still sleeping peacefully.

The bathroom light hummed quietly. It was a magically-powered fixture, rather than the simple firefly lantern back home. The low drone from it made her teeth tingle. Rainbow pressed her head against the cool porcelain sink fixture, squeezing her eyes shut in an effort to hold back her tears.

Unbidden, memories surfaced in Dash’s mind. The way she had caught herself staring whenever she and Applejack had worked or played together. The way she had fought to cool her blush when A.J. shared a dirty joke with her. The way she had sputtered a panicked denial and flown off when Applejack had finally called her out on her crush.

“I’m flattered, I really am,” she had said, a bemused smirk on her face.

“Sh-shut up! I don’t have a crush! The Dash does not crush!” Rainbow recalled feeling the fire in her cheeks.

Applejack had tipped her hat forward, grinning like she had just won the Iron Pony competition—which wasn’t right, because Rainbow Dash had totally dominated that contest. “Are ya callin’ me a liar?” she had challenged.

“Yes... no... sh-shut up! You don’t know anything!” and away she had flown. Applejack had spent the better part of the afternoon that day throwing apples in an attempt to get her down from her cloud home, so she could tell her the rest of it; so she could tell her that the reason she had noticed was because the feeling was mutual.

Rainbow looked up at the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her mouth tasted foul. She had been drunk last night, sure, but never drunk enough to excuse this. There was no such thing as drunk enough to excuse this. A pony would die twice over before they could be drunk enough to excuse what she had just done. “Shit,” she whispered.

She wanted to scream at the tramp she saw in the mirror. She wanted to put her hoof right through the glass so she didn't have to look at herself anymore. But that would make noise, and that would wake the... mistake that was lying under the covers just outside the bathroom door.

So instead she turned on the tap and splashed her face with cold water. Her breath came in short bursts as the icy liquid dribbled from her chin and dripped from the tips of her mane. She scrubbed her neck and under her wings, splashing puddles onto the cold tile floor. There was a warm shower just behind her, but again, she did not want to make noise.

More flashes of memory accompanied the sudden shocks of cold water. Steady green eyes in the moonlight. The smell of apples and sweat and fresh-cut hay. The faraway look A.J. had gotten the day Dash had received the letter officially recognizing her as a Wonderbolt.

“That’s... great, hon. I’m real happy fer ya.” Applejack’s smile had wavered, but it never fell from her face.

Rainbow had waved the letter enthusiastically. “Look, it says, ‘In recognition of your outstanding performance and clear dedication to the craft...’ It says that I’m awesome, so now I’m a Wonderbolt!”

A.J. had chuckled a bit at that part. “I don’t reckon ya need a letter to tell ya that.” Her eyes had sunk to the ground. “So, uh, ya need help packin’, then?”

“Packing?” Rainbow had blinked. “What would I be packing for?”

“So ya can go ta Canterlot an’ be a Wonderbolt, of course.” There had been the tiniest bit of hurt in her voice.

Dash had finally made the connection. She had dropped to the ground and put a hoof over her marefriend’s shoulders. “Oh, geez, no, A.J. It’s not like that. They won’t make me move out to Canterlot. A lot of the team does, because it’s more convenient, but I’ll be staying right here in Ponyville. It’ll be a longer way to go to get to practices and shows, but that doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna leave you, A.J.”

Applejack had sniffled. “S-so, yer stayin’?”

“Duh,” Dash had said, patting her on the cutie mark. “This flank is worth flying a few extra miles for!”

“Good,” Applejack had laughed, wiping a tear out of her eye. She dug into her saddlebag. “‘Cause before ya got that letter, I thought fer sure I had the biggest bit of news you were gonna get today.” A gold hoofband had sparkled in the afternoon sun.

Garbage. Dash had been given the world, and she’d thrown it out like garbage. Rainbow Dash grimaced as she realized she had not even bothered to remove her wedding band from her hoof. Clearly, the mare in her bed had not minded. She had just been interested in getting a round in with a Wonderbolt, married or not.

Rainbow Dash opened the door slowly, allowing herself a tiny bit of relief to see the other pony had not moved at all. At least I can pick a sound sleeper, she thought bitterly as she went to fetch her flight suit from the closet and stuff it into her pack.

Dash would have thought that the Wonderbolts could get a hotel in Las Pegasus that had full amenities for pegasus ponies. However, the window to her room did not open wide enough to squeeze through, forcing her to leave her room via the door. She took one last look at the slumbering mare on her bed. She could not recall her name, she realized. Dash was not sure she had even asked. Another guilty hiss pushed its way from her mouth as she let herself out of the hotel room.

It was quiet and deserted in the hallway outside, as it ought to be at such an indecent hour in the morning. The floor was laid out in a red and brown checkerboard pattern, and squarish wooden doors lined the corridor at even intervals. From the ceiling hung a series of ornate magic lamps, bathing the hallway in a dull blue glow. Rainbow Dash kept her wings folded as she made her way as quietly as she could to the exit at the end of the hall.

Cool morning air swirled around her as she pushed open the door. She stood on a small landing built into the tenth story of the hotel building. A narrow flight of concrete steps led down to the streets below. The lights of Las Pegasus blinked and buzzed beneath her, never truly resting. Rainbow Dash felt a faint updraft tug at her feathers, begging to take her into the sky. She spread her wings, all but happy to oblige.

“Where are you off to, Rainbow Dash?” The voice of her captain kept Dash's hooves rooted to the balcony. Spitfire leaned against the railing, her golden eyes regarding the blue pegasus cooly.

Rainbow tapped her hooves nervously. “The show's over, so I thought I might get an early start back home, ma'am.”

Spitfire cast her gaze over the colorful circus of a city before them. “You're not gonna take the train with the rest of the team?”

Dash made an attempt at a scoff. Even to her own ears, it sounded weak. “You find me a train that's faster than I am, and I'll ride it.”

The Wonderbolt captain nodded. “Just don't sprain anything. We've got another show in Fillydelphia next week, and if you show up with a pulled muscle, I'll make you fly on it anyway.”

“Yes, ma'am.” Rainbow Dash saluted, and let a few wingbeats take her into the air.

“And Dash,” Spitfire called after her. Rainbow circled back to listen to her boss. Spitfire's eyes gleamed in the first orange rays of sunrise. “I did warn you to keep your distance from the groupies.”

“...Yes, ma'am, you did,” she replied. It was a long flight home.

*-*-*

Applejack was honest.

Her heart, having risen in her chest when she first spotted the multi-hued speck closing in from the horizon, began to sink just a little as she noted the slower, more sober pace that speck flew with. It sank a bit further as Rainbow Dash drew close enough for the farmer to see that strained smile on her face, the one she always wore when she was about to try and lie to her. Applejack’s heart became a cold stone in the pit of her stomach when her wife finally landed next to her, bringing the faint scent of another mare with her, buried beneath a hastily applied layer of soap and water, and sweat from the long flight.

But Applejack did not need any of these clues in order to know what had happened. She needed only look Rainbow in the eyes to see the painful guilt behind them, and she knew the truth.

The farm pony fought to keep a warm smile on her face as she embraced her spouse. “Welcome home, hon,” she said. “How was Las Pegasus?”

Rainbow Dash laughed, perhaps a little too softly, and her rose eyes flickered a few too many times before she answered, “Oh, you know, not too bad. We put on a pretty good show, but I'm glad to be back home.”

Applejack was not certain why she did not call Dash's bluff. Perhaps she wanted to give her a chance to explain herself on her own terms. Or maybe she was just paralyzed by fear of what would happen when the truth was let out into the open air. Whatever the reason, Applejack simply smiled and gave her wife a loving nuzzle. “I'm glad yer back, too.”

She led Rainbow inside. “I'm afraid supper's gone cold,” she said, trotting into the kitchen, “but I can reheat a plate fer ya.” On the inside, Applejack winced at how easily the conversational tone came. Listening to herself, it sounded just as if she had no idea anything was wrong. Just another day at Sweet Apple Acres.

“Thanks,” said Rainbow Dash, tossing her saddlebags aside and sinking into an armchair. “You're...” her eyes cast themselves downwards. “You're really great, A.J.”

Applejack wanted to scream. She wanted to throw kitchenware and break things. But all the rage and curses wouldn’t come. They stayed sealed up inside her, leaving nothing more than a bitter taste in her mouth to mark their existence. Instead, she merely cleared her throat and took a plate of leftovers to set them over the stove to heat.

There was a sound of dishes clattering together in the sink. “ 'S that Rainbow?” asked Apple Bloom, looking up over the fixture.

Applejack nodded. “Sure is. Just got back from her big show, an' judgin' from the state of her feathers, I reckon she flew home by herself again, the darned foal.”

The dishes were dropped into the sink, forgotten, as Apple Bloom charged into the living room to give her sister-in-law a big hug. Only just beginning to grow past her awkward teenage years, the young mare seemed to be more legs than anything else, and the red braids of her mane were tied back by the same old pink bow she had worn as a filly. “Rainbow!” she shouted as she squeezed the feathered addition to her family. “You know my sis don't like it when ya fly by yourself! What if ya get caught in a storm or somethin'?”

Rainbow Dash wriggled out of Apple Bloom's grip. “Heh, your sister worries too much. I still got friends in the weather service, and they always make sure I have a path of clear skies back to Ponyville every time I do a show.”

“An' of course yer weather buddies can stomp down every wild storm that ever spins out of the Everfree,” grumped Applejack, grabbing a hot pad to slide dinner off of the stove. It was an old, comfortable argument. It was a welcome distraction from the real issue looming over their heads.

“Hey, just because I fly stunts for a living now doesn't mean I've forgotten how to kick clouds,” the blue mare said as Applejack brought her a plate of warm beets and cabbage. “I can handle myself in a storm.”

“Seven famous last words,” said Applejack, scowling.

Rainbow Dash came up with a toothy grin. “I'm a Wonderbolt. All the words I say are famous.” She took a bite of her dinner. “Mm, this is good,” she said, her mouth full of beets.

Apple Bloom, who had already been party to this argument dozens of times before, rolled her eyes and jumped in to steer the conversation elsewhere. “How was the show? Was Soarin' there?”

Rainbow shook her head. “You know, he's starting to talk about retiring? I told him he's crazy, but I guess the whole thing with Silver Streak leaving has got him feeling old or something.”

Applejack could have brought it up. She could have asked Rainbow to tell her what really happened in Las Pegasus. Not in front of Apple Bloom, she justified. But she could send Apple Bloom out of the room. She had, after all, left the dishes unfinished. Let her spend some time with her favorite sister-in-law first. Applejack found no shortage of excuses not to talk to her wife about it. Before long she found herself lying down to bed next to Rainbow Dash without having said a word.

“Good night, A.J.”

“...Good night, hon,” she replied. It was a long night.

*-*-*

Rainbow Dash was honest.

She waited until she could no longer hear sounds of movement through the farmhouse. As much as it was eating her up inside, Dash did not want Apple Bloom or Big Mac to hear what she had to say to Applejack. She nudged the orange mare in the shoulder. “A.J, you awake?”

Applejack did not answer, but Rainbow Dash knew she was awake. Sleeping ponies did not hold their breath when spoken to. Sleeping ponies did not tense up when touched. Sleeping ponies did not squeeze their pillows just a little bit tighter at the sound of their wife’s voice.

“A.J... Applejack, I need to tell you something. It's... it isn't anything good.” Rainbow watched Applejack's back slowly rise and fall with her breath. The silence of the room pressed in upon Rainbow Dash. She could hear no crickets outside chirping. She could hear no wind to make the eaves of the old farmhouse creak. There was only the sound of Applejack’s steady, deliberate intake of breath, and Dash’s shuddering exhale.

“A.J,” she said, her voice threatening to break. “I screwed up... bad.” Still no response from her wife. If she wanted, she could pretend to believe Applejack was asleep. She could put off talking to her for a while longer yet. Maybe, if enough time passed without her voicing it, she could begin to pretend it had never happened at all. Just some silly dream.

But Rainbow Dash was honest. The wrenching in her chest told Rainbow that she could not just pretend this away. A.J. deserved to know the truth, and confessing it to her... well, it would not make Dash feel better, but it was the right thing to do.

A lump began forming in her throat as the truth came spilling out. “After...” she began slowly, “...after the show, some of us went to celebrate at this bar. There was this mare there, and she bought me a few drinks, said she wanted to share a toast with a real Wonderbolt.” Dash fought down a bitter scoff. Never had she been less proud of the title. “I... I don't know how it happened, but...” Rainbow let out a lungful of air she hadn't realized she had been holding. “W-we ended up back at the hotel, and...” She smelled the salty tang of tears rise from Applejack’s pillow.

Tears ran from the corners of Rainbow's eyes as well. “A.J, I'm so sorry!” For a very long while, all Rainbow was able to do was shake with wet sobs. The moonlight blurred through the salty moisture in her eyes, and her throat seemed to close itself completely shut. Rainbow Dash was not prone to vertigo, but it seemed to her like the room spun and tilted around her.

After letting her sobs subside, Rainbow took a breath. “I... I don't deserve to be with a pony like you, Applejack. You're so... strong, and dependable, and I...” She sniffled, “I'm just this scared filly who doesn't ever think things through!”

Rainbow Dash stared at the long strands of blonde mane splayed out across the bed. She waited to hear Applejack respond. She braced to hear her yell at her the way she deserved to be yelled at. She waited to hear her hiss, “Get out!” She waited to hear anything at all, but all she got from Applejack was silence, and that was worse than anything.

“A-A.J?” she croaked, her hooves trembling. “Are you gonna say anything?” Silence.

She began to rise from the bed, wiping a tear away with her hoof. “Okay.” She nodded sullenly. “Uh, I think I should probably go,” she said. The still night air waited outside the window. Nothing was going to be okay.

*-*-*

Applejack was loyal.

The truth was exactly what she had guessed it was—exactly what she had feared it was. Being right did not make it any easier to bear. She lay frozen in place on her pillow, biting her lip until she could taste blood as Rainbow’s words poured over her. She wanted it to stop. She wanted it to all be a terrible nightmare. Oh Celestia, what she wouldn’t give if Dash cracked a wide grin right now and explained that it was all just some big, tasteless prank.

It wasn’t, of course. It was all very real. Rainbow Dash had cheated on her. It almost sounded petty, to put it like that. Small, as though it were in the same league as using her wings in the Iron Pony competition all those years ago. Like their marriage was a game, and Dash had been caught fudging one of the rules. Not as though their marriage had been their whole lives for the past few years.

Applejack felt the weight shift on the mattress. Dash had said something about leaving. It would be so easy to just let her go. Just lay there, keeping her eyes closed as she listened for the window to open and let Rainbow out of her life. Just let the color drain away, and go on living like half a pony.

But Applejack was loyal. She reached her hoof out and stopped Rainbow before she could leave the bed. Rainbow's eyes widened in surprise as Applejack pulled her in close.

“A.J? I—”

“Shh.” Applejack buried her muzzle into Rainbow Dash's mane as she squeezed her love tightly with her hooves. She maintained her embrace for a long while, rocking gently back and forth. After some time, Applejack let Rainbow pull back a little ways.

Applejack raised her front left hoof. The gold band on it looked almost silver in the moonlight. “Do ya see this, Rainbow?” she said. “Do ya know what it means?”

Rainbow Dash nodded, swallowing hard. “It means... it means I shouldn't have—”

“It means I took a vow,” Applejack interrupted. “It means I made a promise ta stand by you, through thick an' thin. It means I swore to stick with ya, no matter what kind of boneheaded stunts ya pull.”

Dash fell silent.

“This...” Applejack said, poking Dash in the chest. “Of all the boneheaded stunts you’ve ever pulled, I—” Her breath caught, and she tore her eyes away. “I don’t even know what ta call this. What you done was beyond low, Dash. And make no mistake, I'm as angry with ya as any wife’s ever had the right to be. I got more’n half a mind to tell ya to pack up yer things an’ get the hay outta my house.”

Rainbow nodded, her wings drooping low.

“But...” Applejack continued, raising her eyes to meet her again, “but I aim ta stick with my vows.”

The pegasus' lip trembled. “Applejack...”

Applejack drew her wife back into a tight embrace. “We're gonna make it through this, hon,” she said, wiping her tears on a blue shoulder, “We’re gonna make it through this together.” The crickets began chirping outside again. The old bones of the farmhouse sang with the wind once more.

Rainbow squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face into Applejack's hair. “I love you, Applejack.”

Applejack stroked a hoof through her choppy mane. “I know, hon. And I love you, too.”

After a little longer, Applejack cleared her throat. “All right, hon. Why don't ya help me move yer pillows an' such downstairs?”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “Downstairs? But I thought you said—”

“I said we'd make it through this together,” Applejack replied, pulling a blanket off of the bed. “I never said ya weren't sleepin' on the couch.”

*-*-*

Rainbow Dash loved Applejack.

The couch was lumpy and uncomfortable. The thin blanket she was left with downstairs was not much good against the drafty night air that seeped in under the front door of the farmhouse. There was a thin layer of dust there that made Rainbow’s feathers itch. And it made it hard to get to sleep, knowing that the morning would bring some awkward explanations when Big Mac and Apple Bloom found her down here on the couch.

Rainbow had slept in some fine beds before. Her cloud-bed in her old place had been specially made to be extra soft. She had slept in a guest bedroom at the palace in Canterlot once or twice, and there the blankets had unicorn enchantments to stay snug and keep the bed at the perfect temperature. Sometimes when touring with the Wonderbolts, she would end up in a penthouse suite in Cloudsdale, where they say you’ve never truly rested until you’ve slept on a Cloudsdale bed.

But there was no place Rainbow would rather spend the night than that lumpy, drafty, itchy couch, because it meant Applejack still cared for her. It meant that no matter how badly she had screwed up, they were going to work through it, and come out together. That thought finally carried Dash off to sleep; everything would be okay.

*-*-*

Applejack loved Rainbow Dash.

She marched up the stairs to the bedroom—their bedroom, and fell into the bed—their bed. Applejack ran a hoof over the indentation in the bed where there was not a wild maned pegasus to sleep next to, and could not hold her tears back any longer.

Applejack wept. Her salty tears drained into her pillow as she laid there and stared at the spot that did not contain Rainbow Dash. She clutched at her stomach and let her eyes grow dry and red.

Even to her own ears, she had sounded so confident, so sure that they would work everything out. But was she really so certain? Had she really taken the best course, or would it have been kinder for the both of them if she had put an end to their little drama in the first act?

Applejack shook her head. Try as she might to hate her—for that would be far easier—she still loved Rainbow Dash with all her heart. Tomorrow morning, they would talk. They would spend a good, long time talking. They would talk about their past. They would talk about their future. They would get through this, together. That thought finally carried Applejack off to sleep; everything would be okay.