Attack of the Puchus

by ZemaBato

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Other
Length: 11301

After years of serving his horrible/cute masters, Space Butler is finally free. But while he adjusts to his new life, an old nemesis returns. With his friends by his side, he sets out to remove them once and for all. Excel Saga/MLP crossover.

After years of serving his horrible, yet cute, masters, Space Butler is finally free, albeit at the cost of his life.

Or so he thought.

After waking up in a somewhat-strange land of talking ponies, Space Butler makes a new life for himself in Equestria. However, things become complicated once an old nemesis returns. With the help of friends old and new, they set out to rid their world of this evil once and for all.

This is an Crossover with Excel Saga. If you are unfamiliar with the characters, I recommend checking out the anime, which is available on the FUNimation Youtube page.

Published 2012-12-22 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-21 05:29:14 UTC

Comets and Kabooms

Attack of the Puchus

Chapter 1: Comets and Kabooms

“When did I get shot?”

He didn’t believe it had come to this. Just earlier today, he was serving his masters , doing the same routine he has done for years.

He hated it. Yet, there was nothing he could do.

Luckily for him, an accident and chance encounter changed that. It was simply a stray laser blast, but it was enough to break free of their hypnotic spell. Using the chaos to his advantage, he attempted an escape. With the unlikely help of an old friend, he almost made it out a free man.

Almost.

Sitting against a wall, he contemplates what he’s done. Reminiscing the good old days, then he and his protégé enjoyed a simpler time. Where shooting up gangsters was just another Friday night, and pissing into a river while looking into a sunset became commonplace for them.  And then, there was her…

His thoughts came to a stop when they appeared. They filled the end of the hallway, each one holding a deadly swatter. He looks at each of them, their demonic powers no longer a threat to him. He looks at them, a look of pain and disgust sets in, and begins to speak.

“You fiends… You fiends are cute. Horrifyingly cute.” His right hand slips behind him, and grabs hold of a metallic handle. “But”, he says while showing the device, “between a promise to my friend, and your evil cuteness, there’s a whole world of difference!”

His tormenters look in fear, realizing his thumb is hovering over a detonation device! They hesitated, not sure of what to do. It was a moment he didn’t waste, pressing down firmly on the button.

“AND STOP SAYING PUCHU PUCHU!!!”

All of a sudden, explosions fill the hallways. The devilish puchus go into a panic, trying to find an escape. Unfortunately for them, their endeavors are fruitless, as they are engulfed by the flames.

He sees the flame approaching him from both ends of the hallway. There is no place left for him to go. Satisfied that his tormentors won’t survive, he rests against the wall once again. Allowing himself a smile, he closes his eyes, waiting for his demise.

“Adios.”

The explosions hit, flames taking over. He feels intense burning for what feels like ages. Then, nothing.

***

“My, it is an exquisite night. Luna has outdone herself once again.”

Normally, the premier fashionista of Ponyville wouldn’t be awake at this late at night, much less out for a stroll. However, tonight was an especially beautiful night, and she didn’t feel like sleeping quite yet.

Of course, Rarity didn’t only enjoy the night. Ever the creative pony that she was, she kept an eye out for any inspiration she could find. With winter in full swing, she was looking for something truly unique this year for the inhabitants of Equestria.

“Maybe I can use the stars..” she said to herself. She quickly shook her head. “No, no. That wouldn’t do at all. That would be too tacky.”

She makes her way to an open field, the night sky vast and open to her. Finding a nice patch of grass, she sits down, enjoying the fresh air and the bright night’s sky.

She sighs. “I must find something new, something exciting, something that will reach the high society of Canterlot, not the slums of Manehattan!”

A flash of light appears above her. Looking up, she gasps. A meteor shower is taking place. Streaks of light are flashing above her, going out as soon as they appear. Rarity keeps her eyes locked above her, a smile of amazement slowly working its way onto her face.

“Yes, that was lovely!” she exclaimed. “That was truly magnificent. I must use that for my next line!”

Suddenly, a very different light flashes to her left, followed by a loud explosion. Shocked, she looks at the trees, seeing smoke where the light once was.

“Oh dear, what was that? Did a meteor land over there?” she pondered. Noticing some light from where the meteor landed, she trots over to the landing site, careful to not get herself hurt.

After a few minutes, she approaches a small crater. There are a few flames here and there, which are quickly put out with magic. Wouldn’t want this fire to spread to the forest, she thought. Looking into the crater, she lets out a gasp.

At the bottom of the crater was not a meteor, but some weird creature!

Rarity rushes down, checking the poor thing. Taking a good look at the thing, she can’t help but wonder what it is.

It was a bipedal creature. A minotaur, perhaps? No, it can’t be, its features are too different, she decided. Going right next to the thing, Rarity starts checking it out to see the extent of the injuries.

The thing looked like it went through hell. Looking at its face, Rarity decided it must be a male. He had a thin face, with a purple moustache. His hair was 3 toned; with teal and yellow hair up front, and purple hair in the back. His hair was burnt at the ends, with ash all over his face, as well as the rest of his body. His clothes, which Rarity looked at with a twinge of curiosity, were in tatters. If there was a jacket, it was burnt to a crisp. All that was left was a pair of slacks, a burnt white shirt, and a strange purple vest. There were also remnants of a tie, although she couldn’t guess what kind it was.

Pressing down onto him, she was startled when he let out a sharp gasp. Looking down at where she pressed, she noticed a sound on his side.

“Oh dear, you’re injured!” she exclaimed. Wasting no time, she tears off the vest with her magic, using it as a makeshift compress. This causes the man to open his eyes, although slightly.

“There, there. Everything will be okay,” she says. “As soon as I get this under control, we are going straight to Ponyville Medical to get you treated.”

The strange creature relaxes a little, a “thank you” barely loud enough to escape his throat. The white unicorn finishes up her first aid, and gets ready to take him to the hospital.

“It’s quite alright, dear. Tell me, what is your name? Mine’s Rarity.” She looks at him, a glimmer of concern in her eyes.

The thing struggles for a bit, before saying two words.

“Space… Butler..”

He passes out, his injuries more apparent than earlier. Rarity wastes no time, levitating him next to her. She heads straight into town.

“Don’t you worry, Space Butler,” she says, a bead of sweat forming on her brow as she carries him along. “You will be getting better in no time.”

To Be Continued..

Between a Will and a Rarity

Chapter 2: Between a Will and a Rarity

Darkness was all Space Butler saw.

So this is what death was like, he thought. I figured it’d be a little brighter than this. Maybe an angel or two..

*Beep*

He lay there, pondering what he’ll do now, if there was anything he could do. After all, he figured, the dead don’t really do anything.

*Beep*

He heard it that time. What was that beep from? Surely, a black void of nothing wouldn’t make noise.

*Beep*

Then, he remembered. The chaos with his masters, known to him as the Puchus. He then remembered that he blew them all up, along with himself. How did he survive?

*Beep*

Someone found me, he thinks to himself. It wasn’t a person, and it definitely wasn’t those accursed things.  It, or she, had white fur, and a purple mane that was as vibrant as his jacket. There was a horn too, and she was talking to him. A unicorn, perhaps?

*Beep*

He begins to stir, slowly but surely. As he brings himself to consciousness, a name pops into his head. The name of the mare that helped him.

“Rarity…”

Slowly, he opens his eyes, finally awaking. Then he gasps, for all he can see are stars.

***

In the seeming black void of space, there are stars. Trillions upon trillions of stars as far as the eye can see. Some are by themselves, while others have gathered into a galaxy. It was the beauty of space in all its glory. There was nothing that could spoil this image.

That is, until you notice the arms.

“I am the Great Will of the Macrocosm,” the cosmos soothed. It was a melodic voice, full of concern and something else. “Space Butler, you cannot give up now.”

The injured butler is wide awake now, staring back at what appears to be the universe itself. In the corners of his eyes, however, he notices the medical equipment that’s monitoring him. Strangely, he couldn’t hear the beeps of the various machines. All he could hear was the Macrocosm.

“Fret not, Space Butler,” she swooned. “I will reset the story for you, so that you can have the happy ending you deserve”. Space Butler shivered at that last remark as he stared into the Great Will. Was that a blush he was seeing?

“Now, let’s get you out of here,” she beckoned. He reaches up, embracing the Great Will.

***

At Ponyville General, Rarity steps off the 4th floor elevator. The nurses working the night shift were shocked to see the fashionista come in so late at night, and even more so when she brought a strange creature with her. Being the professionals they are, they ignored how strange it looked, and did their best to get the man stable. After a good night’s sleep (Rarity needed her beauty rest after all), she was back to check in on this newest patient.

Turning the corner, she is just down the hall from Space Butler’s room. He was placed on a floor that didn’t have many ponies, so that he didn’t scare any by accident. Rarity agreed with it, showing concern not only for her fellow ponies, but for the man she only met a night before.

She was only feet away before the doors to Space Butler’s room burst out into the hall. Rarity stepped back. Closing her eyes and opening them again, she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing before herself. Stuck against the opposite wall was…

A piece of Princess Luna’s night sky? With arms??

“Oh my! What is going on here?!”

The fashion-savvy pony didn’t have time to ponder, as Space Butler runs right up to the swirling mass of stars, in a hospital gown clearly meant for the bigger minotaurs.

“Good morning to you, Miss Rarity,” Space Butler says as he grabs the Great Will by the arm. His eyes were focused on it.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll be back in a little bit, Miss,” he states. Sticky situations doesn’t mean he stops being a proper butler.

Rarity looks on, unable to comprehend what’s going on. “S-Sure thing, dear.”

Looking at the end of the hall, Space Butler notices a window leading outside. Not wasting any time, he drags the Great Will of the Macrocosm with him.

“You might want to cover your ears, Miss Rarity,” he yells. With his free hand, he reaches into the gown, and pulls out… an assault rifle! He points it at the window, and unloads the entire magazine. All that’s left is a giant hole.

Dropping the gun, Space Butler reaches back into his gown. As Rarity watches, she sees him place a block of clay into the mass of space. Stopping at the edge of the hole, he puts his all into his arm, and flings the Great Will into the sky. The pristine mare is only shocked for a second, then panics as the man runs right to her.

“Get down, milady!” he screams, before taking her down to the floor. He pulls out what appears to be a metal rod. As he pressed the button at the top, she realized what it was.

A detonator.

*BOOOOOOM*

A giant explosion rocks the hospital from above. Looking out the hole, all the butler sees is smoke and a few falling embers. Looks like the explosives worked.

Satisfied that the Great Will of the Macrocosm is gone, Space Butler dusts himself off, then offers a hand to the unicorn that saved his life.

“O-oh, thank you, dear,” she says. Now that she was on all 4 hooves, she remembers that they are in a hospital still. “Are you okay, Space Butler? I didn’t think your injuries would heal so soon.”

He looks at her, a small smile on his face. “No need to worry, Miss Rarity. Yes, I am still injured, but it’s nothing this old man couldn’t handle. Besides,” he takes a look around. “We didn’t want that particular menace here anyways.”

“What was that… thing, anyways? It reminded me of Luna’s night, itself!”

“I’ll tell you all you want to know, Miss,” he states. He then gestures to his room. “Would you mind heading back to my room? We can both sit down, and I’ll serve some tea.”

“Why yes, that would be lovely, dear,” she says, trotting off behind the butler. Luckily for Rarity, she didn’t notice the chaos happening behind her as the hospital staff attempted to figure out what just happened.

***

Sitting down in a comfortable chair (she didn’t quite know how Space Butler got that), Rarity enjoyed a nice cup of earl grey while Space Butler rested on his bed. She certainly wasn’t expecting the events of just a few minutes ago.

“So,” she begins, “what was that… thing.. that attacked you earlier?”

“Miss Rarity, there is nothing more to worry about from that thing,” he says, noticing her blue eyes looking right at him. “But if you persist, that was the Great Will of the Macrocosm. She wasn’t attacking me; it was quite the contrary. She wanted to rewrite what happened.”

Rarity was left with her mouth gaping. “But why would you refuse such help? Wouldn’t you want to be back where you were?”

The butler sighs. “It’s not that simple, Miss Rarity. The Great Will is a helpful being, but there’s almost always a catch. I would get back where I was, but I’ve no doubt I would be her play-thing for God knows how long.”

“Play-thing?” she asked.

“Indeed, milady. She is, in essence, a cosmos. She’s always looking for someone to fill in that empty space of hers.” He takes a look at Rarity, seeing the acknowledgement of understanding in her eyes.

“Besides,” he continues, “I wouldn’t want to go back to that horrible place, anyways.”

Space Butler goes quiet, the flame of anger gleaming off his glasses. Rarity wondered how that happened, but disregarded it. There were other matters she wanted to find out.

“Why don’t you want to go back?” she asks. “Was it so horrible there? Won’t there be people you will miss?”

The injured butler ponders this for a moment, before he answers. “I will no doubt miss those I left behind.” He sighs. “But compared to where I was, this place is Heaven itself.”

The mare trots to his bed, grabbing his hand with her hoof. “Please tell me what happened.”

He looks away, breathing a sigh of defeat.

“Very well, Miss Rarity. I’ll start from the beginning.”

***

I come from a long line of space butlers. We have served important people from all over the galaxy. Our reputations were legendary among the elite.

Of course, as you saw earlier, I am not just any butler. I spent a number of years in the Space Defense Forces, serving the generals and proving myself on the battlefield. As a result, I have become proficient in most firearms, as well as a variety of explosives. If my guns didn’t get you, my C4 did.

During my time in the SDF, I took a young protégé under my wing. While not striving for the same life goals as myself, Nabeshin had the same talent for weapons as I did. We bonded quickly, and he was one of my best friends, both on the battlefield, and back home. Oh, the stories I have are wonderful. But.. *ahem* they are not appropriate for a lady such as yourself. Anyways, with my time in the service up, we parted ways.

Because of my pedigree, I was a valuable asset to any person in need of my services. And I eventually became the butler of the most prestigious family; the Hyatt clan.

You wouldn’t believe how happy I was to serve Miss Hyatt. She was everything in a master that you could hope for. Kind, caring, never took advantage of me. She was a dear to serve, and I was happy to be serving her.

Then… then they showed up. The Puchu. Horrible little demons, the lot of them are. They fool you with their looks, with their charm. You would think of them as nothing more than a yellow stuffed teddy bear, but that’s how they get you. One look at them, and their cries of “Puchu~!” and you’re trapped under their dastardly spell.

That’s how they got me. One look was all it took. They were… sooooo cute! It was unbelievable. Sadly, there was nothing I could do to resist once I was under their spell. They imprisoned Miss Hyatt, locking her up in this cryogenic prison. Then, they started conquering. Everywhere they went, they took over. Those who tried to resist, they didn’t survive to see the devastation they caused, thanks to their dreaded rug dusters. Their cuteness spread across the entire east end of the galaxy, with me as their “faithful” servant.

For years, that was my job. That was my role. Then one day, it all came undone for them. They were at their next target; Earth. They were performing their preparation ritual, when disaster struck our ship. A laser blast from the surface of the planet struck the port side, and the ensuing chaos was enough for me to break free of their trance.

Using what little time I could, I did my best to get Miss Hyatt off that accursed ship. Somehow, my old comrade Nabeshin showed up. We had a little trouble with the Puchu, but it wasn’t enough to stop us from continuing.

Unfortunately, things didn’t quite work out. I had been shot by the Puchu. Staying behind to keep the Puchu at bay, I trusted Nabeshin to take Miss Hyatt to safety. I don’t know if he was successful or not…

Making my way down the hall, I was surrounded by dozens of Puchu. Leaving me with no other choice, I did what I had to do to rid the galaxy of their evil ways. I took out my detonator, and blew them to kingdom come, along with myself.

At least, I thought I did.

***

“After the explosion, I woke up in that crater, with you looking over me.” The butler took a moment to smile at Rarity. “I must thank you, for rescuing me like you did. If it was anyone else, I’m certain I wouldn’t be here right now, or worse; I’d be with the Great Will.” He shudders after that thought.

“Oh, you are very welcome, my dear,” the fashionista replied. “I’m always willing to help those in need. Though I can’t help but wonder, what exactly are you?”

The butler smiles. “I guess I am a rarity here myself, no pun intended madam. I am what you would call a human.” Noticing the confused look, he continues. “We are descendants of apes. Although, we are far far more advanced than apes ever were.”

“I… I think I understand,” she replies. “I thank you. But tell me, what will you do now that you’re here in Equestria?”

“Equestria?” he ponders. “It appears I have my own questions. As for what I will do, I’m not entirely sure.” He looks at Rarity. Noticing how she carries herself. Then, an idea pops up. “Milady, if you don’t mind, I request that I become your faithful servant.”

Rarity gasps. This man, who she only knew for a night, now wants to be her butler? “Are.. are you sure, Space Butler? You can do whatever you want, dear.”

“I am sure of that, Miss Rarity,” the butler retorts. “But, there is no job I love more than that of a butler, and I would have it no other way than to be honored by being your butler.” He sits up, and bows slightly at her.

“W-well, if you insist…” she smiles nervously, “then I’ll accept. I’ll be glad to have you as my butler, er… Space Butler. Is there anything I could do in return, though?”

He ponders for a second, then turns to look at her.

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you find someone who can make me a new suit for when I leave this hospital? I currently don’t have anything to wear besides this gown.”

Rarity looks at him, a wide smile spreading across her face. “My dear, you happen to be talking to Equestria’s premier fashionista!” She flicks her mane before looking at him once again, the smile stuck in place.

“And I’ll be happy to make you a new suit.”

***

Over in Canterlot, A royal guard is patrolling the maze next to the castle. It was another boring day for the stallion, as nothing ever happened in the maze. If he was lucky, he’d find a couple trying to find a moment of alone time. As he continues his route, he notices something off to the side. Glancing at it, he feels a need to take a closer look.

Coming up to it, he can see it more clearly; a yellow stuffed animal. The guard wasn’t quite sure, but it looked a little bit like a bear. As he kept staring, he felt a compulsion. He had to take care of it. He must take care of it. It was so cute…

Being as careful as he can, the guard places the doll onto his back, taking it to his quarters. As he trotted along, only one sound could be heard.

“Puchu~”

Apples and Oranges

Chapter 3: Apples and Oranges

“Are you ready to see your new home, dear?” she asked, looking back at Space Butler.

“Miss Rarity, I am ready for anything,” he replied. He allowed himself to stretch his arms, keeping them behind his back so that he didn’t draw attention.

“Then let’s go home,” she said, a slight smile on her face.

The faithful butler stepped through the front doors of Ponyville General, following behind Rarity with a controlled dignity.

It had been a quick, albeit boring week for the butler. The doctors stated that he would be staying for at least a month. There was concern over the hole in his side. As far as they knew, the injury came from a blast of unicorn magic, which would have made recovery more difficult. Of course, Space Butler knew different. After 5 days of rest and some healing magic, he was ready to go. The last couple of days were spent with paperwork and a few tests, and some measurements from Rarity. The doctors wanted information on humans for future use. Ponyville’s fashionista wanted her information for his new suit.

The suit he was wearing as they left. It was just like the suit he wore his entire life. The top was a lavish purple (same color as the mare’s mane), with a red inner lining. Underneath were a purple vest and a neatly pressed shirt. On his collar was a neatly tied red bowtie. His pants matched his jacket, with black dress shoes. The only item missing were his gloves, as whipping up a pair was harder than Rarity first thought. It’s not every day that she makes something with fingers on them.

Space Butler followed behind Rarity as they made their way through town. With curiosity in his eyes, he looked at the town and populace, and took in as much as he could.

It seemed the ponies of Equestria had a lot in common with people from his world. Shopping, socializing, children playing with their friends. It was a nice, quiet place.

As the duo made their way through town, Space Butler did notice a few looks here and there. The majority were from the children of Ponyville. They have seen griffons and minotaurs, but a human was never seen before.

He also noticed a few murmurs, but they were from the adults. One of them caught themselves, realizing that they were heard. The mare gave a wave, embarrassed by being overheard. Always the gentleman, he responded with a wave of his hand and a slight bow.

Rarity, oblivious to the looks, trotted along, a slight bounce apparent in her step. While she had friends and acquaintances at Ponyville General, she didn’t like being at a hospital. Those gowns were horrid! Her thoughts were interrupted when Space Butler walked up beside her.

“I must say, Miss Rarity,” he started, “Ponyville is quite the nice little town. You must love living here.”

She looks up at him, a warm smile on her face.

“Oh yes, Ponyville is just a wonderful place. I lived here for most of my life.” She sighs. “But, what I wouldn’t give to move up to Canterlot…”

The butler paused for a second. “Miss Rarity, I thought you loved it here.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong dear, I love Ponyville. I love my friends and the people here too. It’s just… I want to make it big. My fashion has been a big hit here, and I am so thankful for that, but I want my fashion to spread across all of Equestria. Whenever they think of the latest trends, I want them to think ‘Is that Rarity’s work?’ and get excited.” She looks away, staring in Canterlot’s direction. “If I can make it in Canterlot, I know my dream of becoming Equestria’s premier fashionista will come true.”

She looked back at Space Butler with a sheepish grin. “And, and I’d be able to have the princesses show off my latest ensembles if I lived there.”

“Ah, I see,” he said. Over the last week, Rarity has explained as much as she could about Equestria. While she wasn’t able to cover everything, the butler had enough information to get around on his own, should he need to.

A few minutes later, the two stopped. “Well,” Rarity said, “here we are. Welcome to your new home!”

The butler takes in his new home. It was a very unique place, compared to the other buildings around the area. It was a two story home, with large windows and pillars on the bottom floor. Looking up, the top floor had a carousel, with what appeared to be an outlook at the very top. Well, he mused to himself, I can see why she named it Carousel Boutique.

Rarity was about to open the door, when Space Butler rushed past her. She was confused as he grasped the doorknob.

“Miss Rarity, it is highly improper that you open the door yourself,” he stated. “Allow me to welcome you home.” He gave the unicorn mare a courteous bow, one befitting of his butler lineage.

“My, how sweet!” she beamed. “You are quite the gentlecolt!” Rarity walked in, the butler following suit.

***

The next few days were a nice, if only a little rough. Space Butler, being a tidy man, went into a panic when he saw the “mess” that was Rarity’s work room. After serving a delightful lunch, Rarity left for an appointment at a local health spa. She mentioned that it was a weekly thing she did with a Miss Fluttershy, who was a close friend of the fashion mare. While she was away, the butler got to work. A short time later, he finished up, the room pristine.

Rarity, however, had the mess set up the way it was on purpose. When she came home, she nearly fainted at the sight of her work room, Space Butler quick to save her from hitting the floor. After a stern talking to, the butler put everything back in place. Rarity was shocked; everything was put back right where she laid it. To say she was impressed was an understatement.

The next day was better, but both still needed to get used to each other. For Rarity, she had never been waited on like this before. Having Space Butler cook the meals, clean the floors, and help out as needed was truly a delight for the fashionista. For Space Butler, it was all the compliments he got. He was thanked for all the work he did. While he is used to the occasional thank you from previous masters, serving Rarity was different. Obviously, part of it was because she was a pony, but it wasn’t the only thing. For the first time he could remember, he felt appreciated.

He liked that.

The next morning, the butler was busy making a delicious breakfast of pancakes and toast, with a grape jelly on the side (per Rarity’s request). As he dusted some powdered sugar on the last pancake, he heard a knock at the door. Taking off the apron, the butler headed to the door, and greeted the early visitor. Standing in the doorway was an orange earth pony, with a blonde mane and disheveled Stetson on her hair.

The earth pony steps back at the sight of the butler. “Er… Excuse me,” she started, a slight twinge of fear in her eyes, “but who and what are ya, stranger?”

The butler straightens up, and gives a deep bow. “Miss, my name is Space Butler, and I am the faithful servant of Miss Rarity.”

The earth mare eased up a little, although there was still a bit of uncertainty. “W-well, it’s nice to meet ya, mister. Mah name’s AppleJack,” she said, holding out a hoof.

Not one to be rude, Space Butler took her hoof in hand, and gave it a light kiss. “Charmed to meet you, Miss Applejack. How may I help you this morning?”

Applejack pulled back, her face reddened. “Ah, well if it isn’t too much trouble, I was wonderin’ if Rarity could patch up mah hat,” she said, looking up at the damaged Stetson. “I had some trouble with some of the trees back on the farm, and mah hat got stuck on a branch when the wind picked up. I was able to get it down with help from Big Mac, but it got damaged.”

The butler straightens up. “I understand, Miss Applejack. Once Miss Rarity wakes up, I’ll let her know about your predicament.”

“There’s no need for that, dear,” the two heard from behind Space Butler. He turned around to see Rarity awake, coming down the stairs in a fluffy white robe. “Space Butler, you should know, my friends are always welcome at my home, no matter the time of day. Always be sure to make them feel welcome.” She looked past him. “Applejack, darling, please come in! We simply must fix that hat of yours!”

Space Butler, embarrassed at his faux pas, stepped aside and let the earth pony in. After arranging a seat for her at the table, he prepared a second breakfast for their new guest.

***

The next hour was spent with Rarity and Applejack catching up on things. With the apple season getting underway, the earth pony was busy with all aspects of Sweet Apple Acres. The Stetson, which was banged up and torn from some bad wind, was taken to Rarity’s workroom, ready to be mended. As Rarity headed off to restore the hat to its original brilliance, Space Butler listened to Applejack as she told him about the farm.

Or, that was what was going to happen, before the door to the boutique burst open.

In the doorway stood 3 small figures, the daylight outside masked their appearances.

Wasting no time, the butler rushed to a picture that was hanging on the wall. He moved it aside, and smacked the button hidden underneath. He heard gasps as a cage trapped two of them, the third barely escaping. Rushing over, he reached into his vest, pulling out a small six shooter. He pins down the intruder, points the gun at its head, and-

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!” screamed the little white unicorn. As he pulled the gun back, he looked over at who they were.

Pinned down was a white unicorn filly, with a pink/purple mane. Inside the cage were a yellow earth filly with a red mane, and a little orange Pegasus with a pink mane. All three had tears running down their cheeks. The unicorn filly bawled her eyes out.

“What the hay did you do that for, Space Butler?!” Applejack exclaimed, letting the fillies out of the cage. All three went up and hugged the older mare.

The butler went silent. He recalled these little fillies from a conversation he had with Rarity while in the hospital. The little unicorn was Sweetie Bell, Rarity’s sister. The earth filly was Applebloom, and the Pegasus was Scootaloo. He felt even worse once he realized that Applebloom was Applejack’s little sister.

“I-I’m sorry, Miss Applejack,” he stuttered. “I should never have put those fillies in danger.” And with that, another cage dropped down above him. He went to hold the bars, which proceeded to shock him.

Applejack kept her distance, not sure what to do in this situation. Sweetie Bell, however, walked up to the cage, while keeping a safe distance away from it.

“Mister, it’s alright,” she started. “We didn’t mean to scare you like that. None of us are hurt, so please don’t punish yourself.”

The butler looked at the little group. They were all so… cute! He understood the error he made, and recalled the cage. Getting down to their level, the butler gave them all a bow.

“I am sorry for the scare, girls. My name is Space Butler. And if I recall correctly, you must be the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’. Please, allow this old butler to make it up to the three of you.”

With that, the butler spent the next few hours entertaining the CMC. He had a variety of games available for them. Monopony, pin the tail on the donkey and the classic hide and seek were all played. Applejack, weary of what happened, stayed and watched them, if only to make sure no one was hurt.

As Space Butler was out looking for the CMC, Rarity came down, oblivious to anything that happened while she was working.

“Well, dear,” she begins, “your hat was much more damaged than I thought. Worry not, though, because it is as good as new!”

Using her magic, she levitated the repaired Stetson over to Applejack. It looked like it was brand new, as the earth mare couldn’t find a single thing wrong with it. “Why thank you, Rarity. I sure do appreciate this.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all,” she sings. She then took a look around. “Say, have you seen Space Butler? He’s usually waiting for me…”

Applejack laughed. “Oh, don’t you worry about him, sugarcube. He’s outside, playin’ with Sweetie Bell and the gang.” She looks up at the unicorn. “Did ya need him for somethin’?”

Rarity let out a giggle. “Oh, I don’t need him right now, dear. But could you do me a favor?” Applejack nods, and Rarity leaned in to whisper the request, afraid that her new butler would somehow overhear them.

Applejack looks at her, and lets out a laugh. “Aw, shucks, I can do that! When do you want it to happen?”

The fashionista thought about it for a second. “Tonight would be perfect, dear.”

“Alrighty then, I’ll let her know right away,” the earth pony said, walking out the door.

***

On a train bound for Ponyville, a familiar lavender unicorn sat in a private room, reading her latest book. Over the last few days, Twilight Sparkle was in Canterlot, catching up with Princess Celestia and her family. Her latest book, a report on the habits of non-equine species, was already half-way finished. Taking a small break, she looked out at the countryside. It was another beautiful day in Equestria’s countryside.

The door to the room slid open, and Twilight looks over. It was a small purple dragon with green scales on his head. He had something in his hands.

“Spike,” she said, “What do you have? I thought I told you to only get juice?”

Spike responds, looking excited. “I did Twilight! But this nice man gave me this doll. What do you think?”

Twilight looked over at the item he held. It was a strange little doll. It had a dull, yellow fur, with round ears. For some reason, it reminded her of a bear. It also had small, pink shorts and this weird stick in its hand. Spike squeezed it, and it made this weird “puchu” sound.

“Well,” Spike repeated, “what do you think?”

She stared at it, a word popped up in her mind.

“It’s… It’s cute.”

Party Favors

Chapter 4: Party Favors

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BUTLERS!!!”

“Now now, girls, a butler always carries himself with dignity, and that includes not having outbursts like that,” Space Butler said, his hands folded behind him as the fillies followed behind.

The crusaders nodded, doing their best to copy the butler. After a fun-filled afternoon of games, the trio decided to try their hands at being a butler. Sweetie Bell found it easy to copy the butler, since it was similar to Rarity’s lessons for being a proper mare. Scootaloo, however, had a difficult time.

“This is so boring!” she exclaimed. “Can’t we go do something else, like go watch Rainbow Dash? This butler stuff isn’t fun at all!”

Applebloom just looked at the filly Pegasus. “Scootaloo, we never seen a butler before, and how do we know if our special talent isn’t being a butler unless we try?”

Scootaloo snorted. “I guess. It’s just so boring, though. All we’ve done is walk!”

Sweetie Bell looked at the human. “Space Butler, why are we walking, anyways?”

“Ah, didn’t Miss Rarity tell you girls before she left?” The three fillies shook their heads. “You see, girls, part of being a butler is doing whatever your master asks of you. Miss Rarity asked me to pick up some treats from a ‘Sugarcube Corner’, and that’s where we are heading.”

The girls stopped and looked at each other.

“Are you girls thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah, let’s do it!”

Wasting no time, the trio ran past the butler, excitement heard in their voices.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CAKE TASTERS!!!”

Space Butler smiled to himself. Children always brought a smile to his face.

He followed the crusaders towards his destination. He had directions to Sugarcube Corner, but he followed the fillies instead. They knew the way, after all.

After a short while, they came to a stop. Space Butler looked at the bakery that stood before him.

The butler found that the best description for it was a real-life gingerbread house. The walls were pink like frosting, with candy cane pillars in front. The roof had ginger snap-looking tiles, and a frosting sealant. On top looked to be a sort of cupcake balcony, with candles on top. The weathervane featured a unicorn holding a giant candy cane.

Space Butler stared for a moment longer, before he took the lead. As he walked up to the door, he grabbed the handle and opened it, and made a gesture to the fillies.

“After you, little ones.”

The three rushed in, a gust of wind swished past. The butler followed suit, and closed the door behind him. Then, he noticed that the lights were off.

“Girls are you okay?” he asked, as he took a few steps in. Suddenly, a bright light flashed, and he readied himself…

“SURPISE!!!”

He opened his eyes, and took in the sight. It looked like the entire town was in this bakery. As he looked up, he noticed a banner.

WELCOME TO PONYVILLE SPACE BUTLER

He didn’t have time to take it all in, as a bouncy pink pony grabbed his hands with her hooves.

“HimynameisPinkiePiewhat’syoursIhopeyoulikethispartyrarityaskedifIcouldthrowoneforyousinceyou’vebeensosuperdupernicetoherandIsaidOFCOURSE‘causeIalwayslovetothrowagoodpartyandtomakenewfriendsandyou’reprettystrangelookingbutthat’salrightbecausewe’veseenabunchofstrangethingsandyoutookcareofthegirlsandthatmustmeanyou’resweetandniceandIlovethrowingpartiesanywayssothisreallyworkedoutforthebestand-“

She was abruptly cut off as AppleJack placed a noise maker in her mouth. Pinkie had a confused look for a second, then smiled and played it with the fillies.

“What Pinkie Pie is trying to say is welcome to Ponyville,” Applejack said, as everyone erupted into cheers.

“Now then,” Rarity began, “let me introduce you to my friends. You’ve already met Applejack, and you just met Pinkie Pie. This here is Rainbow Dash.”

“BEST flyer in all Equestria, at your service,” Rainbow Dash said, as she gave him a mock-salute. True to her name, the blue Pegasus zipped around the room, her rainbow-colored mane leaving a trail behind her. A word popped up in Space Butler’s head.

Cool.

Rarity chuckled. “That’s Rainbow Dash for you. She’s always looking to show off. Now, over here is flu-“ she stopped, a look of confusion on her face. “Now, where DID Fluttershy go? She was just here a second ago.”

Space Butler looked around. There were a lot of ponies here, but none of them looked like they were hiding. He browsed the room, then saw a pair of eyes staring at him through the punch bowl.

“Miss Rarity, would that be your friend right there?” he pointed, and heard an *eep!* from behind the table.

“Yes, that’s her over there. Her name is Fluttershy,” she sighed. Rarity walked over to the table, and levitated the yellow Pegasus to the butler. “Now, say hello dear.”

Fluttershy looked down, trying to make herself smaller, to no avail.

“M-my name is Fluttershy,” she said in a small voice, looking up at the human.

Space Butler didn’t hear, because he fell over. He couldn’t believe it. She was so… so…

Cute!

Everyone was shocked. Rarity gasped as Fluttershy ran up next to him.

“Oh my, are you alright?”

The butler looked at her, and smiled. In a flash, he stood up, acting as if he never fell.

“I am quite alright, Miss Fluttershy. It is a pleasure to meet you, as well as all of Miss Rarity’s other friends.” He looked at the crowd, and bowed slightly. “Thank you for this great welcome.”

***

The party went by without a hitch. Space Butler got to meet the majority of the town, and they got to see the strange human. One of them, a mint-green unicorn mare, took to the butler near instantly. She was fascinated by his hands; an appendage only minotaurs and griffons had at this point. He indulged her for a moment, before pardoning himself.

The rest of the party, the butler mingled the only way he knew how. Of course, that meant he served everyone as only a butler of his caliber could. He provided everyone with punch, served the cakes and pies and other desserts, and even hosted the games. Usually, Pinkie would the one that did these things, but she enjoyed the butler’s antics just as much as everyone else.

Once the party started to die down, he walked over to his master. Rarity, not noticing the butler, looked concerned she sat at the table. Across from here were the cutie mark crusaders, all three passed out from the fun.

He pulled up a seat and sat down next to her. “Miss Rarity, what’s the matter?”

She looked up at him. “Oh, it’s nothing big, just… I was hoping my other friend, Twilight Sparkle, would have been home by now.”

“Is she somewhere at the moment?”

“She is, but…” Rarity sighed. “She should have been back by now. She was only supposed to be in Canterlot for a few days. She’s Celestia’s student, you see. She usually keeps in contact with the princess via reports, but the princess called her away for some sort of business.” She hung her head down. “I just know she would love to meet you. She’s always curious about new people, especially a different species nobody’s ever seen before.”

Space Butler took this in without reacting. When she was done, he got out of his seat, and gave the fashionista a hug.

“Miss Rarity, it’s quite alright. She is the student of a princess, after all, and they get so busy sometimes, that a little delay is almost expected. Besides,” he said, as a smirk formed, “one could say she’s just fashionably late.”

The mare chuckled. “Why, yes, you CAN say that!” She smiled. “Thanks, Space Butler. You are truly-“

She was interrupted as the doors burst open. The party suddenly stopped. In the doorway stood a violet unicorn mare, with a purple mane that had a pink and light purple stripe.

“Oh, hi Twilight! Rarity was just talking about how you were late and I was about to make everyone all happy again, but you showed up, so I don’t need to anymore!” Pinkie said. She bounced over to Twilight, but the unicorn didn’t pay any attention to her. Instead, she stared down the butler.

“Space Butler, you’re coming with me,” she said, a scary look on her face.

The butler stood up, and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Miss Twilight, but I cannot.”

He started to say something else, but was cut off as Twilight tackled him to the ground. Everyone else was shocked.

Rarity was the first to speak.

“Twilight, what ARE you doing?! This is certainly no way for anyone to act!”

Twilight ignored her friend, only focused on the human. Her horn started glowing, and she picked him up by the neck.

“One way or another, you’re coming with me.”

Rarity and the others looked on in shock. Sweetie Bell, now awake from the commotion, walked up to the purple mare.

“Twilight, please stop,” she cried. “He didn’t do anything wrong!”

She looked at the filly, a glazed look seen in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Sweetie Bell, but he’s dangerous. We have to take him away before he harms them.”

“Who’s ‘them’?” Applejack asked with a tint of anger.

Twilight simply scoffed, then turned her side. Everyone looked to see a yellow teddy bear in pink shorts. It stood on her back and proclaimed one thing.

“Puchu~!”

Space Butler looked at those abominations. Anger was seen in his eyes, dancing like flames.

“NOT AGAIN!”

He swung his legs, and kicked off a shoe. It flew across the room, and hit Twilight right on the horn, and she lost focus. The human fell to the floor with a thud, but wasted no time. In the blink of an eye, he was face to face with the purple mare.

“I’m sorry, Miss Twilight,” he said, and chopped her neck. She crumpled to the ground, knocked out from the strike. The puchu looked on, and attempted to use his demonic cuteness.

Space Butler wouldn’t allow that again.

Using his other foot, he kicked the puchu into the air. The butler jumped up after the cute beast, and grabbed its leg. Gaining momentum, he spun in the air, then abruptly stopped and threw the puchu against a wall. The crowd gathered into the kitchen, afraid to leave the place and get caught up in the chaos.

The butler walked up to the puchu carefully. Behind him, he heard a little boy’s voice.

“Twilight, what happened?”

Looking back at the fallen mare, he noticed a tiny purple dragon. He, as the butler assumed it was a boy, had green scales that resembled a Mohawk. A puchu rode him like a possessed backpack. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie stood next to him, worried about Twilight.

He wasted no time. “One of you, get that monstrosity off his back!”

“OKIE DOKIE!” Pinkie replied. She handed the baby dragon a box, and he took it. A clown burst out of the top, and he fainted. The Puchu looked displeased by the result. Pinkie, unaffected by the corruption the puchu tried to cause, picked him up and squeezed the life out of him. “Boy, this doll sure is strange! And what happened to his face? I thought it looked cute enough, but now it’s all weird and disgusting.”

The human walked up to the group, with a mangy-looking puchu in his grasp. The group didn’t see him punch the creature to a pulp. “Miss Pinkie, you wouldn’t have anything that would get rid of these little devils, do you?”

“Well, I have this party cannon,” She said, pulling out a pink and blue cannon out of thin air, “but I don’t know if this will work.”

“I think it’ll do,” the butler said. He smiled as he stuffed the puchus inside, adding some C4 for good measure.

“Say goodbye, you demonic scum!”

He aimed the cannon towards the evening sky, and pulled the string. The puchus shot up like a firework, only there wasn’t any explosion.

At least, not yet.

Satisfied at the distance, the butler pulled out his trusty detonator, and pressed the button. Instantly, the sky lit up like a night parade. Explosions rocked the sky, and confetti and streamers fell over the town. Space Butler couldn’t see the puchus, since the sky was filled with pink smoke.

The butler went silent for a moment. Then, he asked, “Why did all that confetti and pink come out?”

Pinkie giggled. “Well, it IS my Patented Pinkie Pie Party Cannon! Since we got rid of those silly willy teddy bears, we can get back to the party!”

“Ah wouldn’t be too sure about that, sugarcube,” Applejack said, pointing down the street.

Staring down at the bakery were guards. They were Canterlot’s royal guards.

Each one had a puchu on their back.

Of Puchus and Ponies

Chapter 5: Of Puchus and Ponies

*THUD*

“Uuuhhh…” moaned the lavender pony.

“Twilight! Are you okay, sugarcube?” Twilight opened her eyes. Applejack stood over her, concern on her face.

“I’m… I’m fine, I think,” she responded. A loud thud rocked the bakery. “What’s going on? I remember riding on the train…” She stopped as memories flooded her mind. The “teddy bear”, the attack against the butler, it all came back to her. Another thud hit the building.

“Ah, I’m so sorry, everypony! I didn’t know what that thing was. I-I didn’t think it could control me like that. That I would almost do something so…” She was abruptly cut off as Applejack wrapped her hooves around her.

“Its okay, Twilight. We know you weren’t right in the head. It was those darn puchus, bucking everything up.” Another crash hit the bakery, and knocked over some pictures, the glass shattered as they hit the floor. Applejack looked at the wall where the pictures once were. “Consarnit, those guards need to stop this ruckus”

Confused, Twilight looked around. The door to Sugarcube Corner was barricaded with a variety of heavy items. A refrigerator, oven, couch, and grand piano (?) blocked entrance into the building. As she looked away from the door, she saw the others in the main room. There was a strange creature – Space Butler, the human – sitting at the table. He was talking to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy was in the back, talking to the innocent party goers. Rarity, strangely enough, was in the kitchen. Pots and pans flew around her as she matched them with various pieces of cloth. That last sight only confused the unicorn.

She turned to Applejack. “What’s going on here?”

The orange pony sighed. “It’s those darn puchus. They took over the royal guards from Canterlot, and they showed up not long after you did.” A bit of anger flashed in her eyes. “They also took over some of those fancy Canterlot ponies too. Mostly unicorns, I reckon.”

Twilight looked at the door one more time. “Let’s talk to Space Butler. It seems like he’s met them before. He might know how to deal with them.”

The two trotted over to the human. Fluttershy headed to the group as well. Only Rarity stayed where she was, inspiration stuck in her eyes.

Space Butler bowed at them as the approached, and pulled up chairs for them to sit.

“Good evening, ladies. My apologies for the incident earlier. I hope we can work together to get rid of these accursed demons.”

Twilight smiled nervously. “It’s alright, Space Butler. I’m sorry for attacking you earlier. I wasn’t in the right mindset, as you saw.”

“No, you weren’t.” His attention shifted to everyone at the table. “Now, then. As I explained to the others, the secret to the puchu’s devilish ways is their cuteness. It’s like a hypnotic spell of pure evil. The best way to counter them is to punch them in the face. This will cause them to lose their power, and you’ll see them for the abominations that they are.” He spoke those last words with a hint of anger.

“Now then, we need strategy to be able to take on all those guards and other ponies, while removing the puchus. Miss Twilight, I want you, Miss Applejack and Miss Pinkie Pie to take on the guards. Miss Twilight, since you are a student of magic, and of your princess, I trust this won’t be difficult.”

The unicorn’s ears drooped. “It’s not hard, but… how do we get the puchus away once we take out those who are controlled?”

“Ah,” he replied, “that’s easy enough. Once you three take out the guards, Miss Dash will use her speed to knock out the puchus, and gather them up in one spot. Once they are defeated, they don’t move much.” He turned to the blue Pegasus. “Miss Dash, besides the puchus on the ground, you’ll probably have to fight any pegasi controlled by the puchu. Are you able to handle that?”

Rainbow puffed out her chest. “No problem, dude. I can take care of them in 10 seconds flat.” Applejack shook her head slightly.

“Good to hear. Miss Pie, can your party cannon be used for other things?”

Pinkie Pie looked ecstatic. “Why OF COURSE, silly! I can take care of all those meanie puchus like super-duper quick! Well, not as quickly as Rainbow Dash, but almost as quick. You can count on me!!!” The pink earth pony spun quickly, and when she stopped, she wore a skintight suit and goggles.

Twilight looked at her. “Uh, Pinkie, why do you have goggles? It’s night time now.”

Pinkie giggled. “Silly Twilight, these are night vision goggles!”

Space Butler didn’t bother to ask how she got those.

“Pardon me, Space Butler,” Applejack started, “but what do you plan on doin?”

“I plan on helping, Miss Applejack. As a butler, it is my job to serve my master. She knows you can take care of yourselves, but she opted to stay back and help the poor ponies that are stuck here by guarding Sugarcube corner. But just in case, she is making up some armor for you girls.”

Satisfied, he turned to the yellow Pegasus. “Miss Fluttershy, if you are able, I would like you to stay here with the other ponies, and take care of anyone that gets injured.”

The normally-shy pony stared back with a look of determination. “You can count on me.”

[size=8]“I-if…. You don’t mind,[/size][size=6] that is…”[/size]

“Readyyy~” Chimed Rarity, coming into the main room with 7 outfits. Each one looked like a suit, but with pots and pans reworked as plates of armor. There was one for each pony. The human noticed that the 7th one was a bit small.

“Miss Rarity, who is that last one for?” he asked.

“For me, of course,” replied Spike. “I’m gonna keep the puchus in a ring of fire. You know, just in case they try something funny.”

The butler walked over and smiled. “Mr. Spike, that is fine. Just be careful, and don’t fall for their tricks.”

“You can count on me!”

The human stood up, and faced everyone as they finished getting into their new armor. “Now then, are we ready to get rid of these little terrors?”

“READY!!!”

He turned to the door.

“Let’s do this.”

***

Outside of Sugarcube Corner, several guards stood in a line. Each one helped hold a giant log, and they periodically rammed the door, to no avail. Between each hit, the bigger guardponies bucked the door with all their might. The leader stayed back, keeping a watchful eye over the scene. Somepony approached him, and tapped him on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir, but Miss Rarity requires that you refrain from attacking this establishment.” The guard pony turned right into Space Butler’s fist, and went flying away from the bakery. The puchu that was riding his back fell to the ground. The human wasted no time and punted the bear-thing into clearing. The puchu tried to get up, but failed when it saw small dragon feet nearby.

“You’re not going anywhere, you stupid doll,” Spiked said with a smirk. He took a deep breath in, and expelled a dark green flame on the ground. The little dragon didn’t stop until he completed his circle of flame, which was big enough to surround a decent-sized house.

The puchu, certain that it could get past the flames, jumped up towards the young drake. Unfortunately, the flames lurched up and devoured the puchu, leaving only bits of ash. Shortly after, the crispy puchu reappeared in the middle of the field, twitching on the ground.

“Humph, that’ll teach him to try and get past my fire,” he said with satisfaction. The field was out of the way of all the chaos, and the little dragon felt relieved that he didn’t have to actively fight with the guards and other ponies of Canterlot. He paced around the flames, keeping guard of the growing pile of puchus. Every now and then, he captured the random puchu that didn’t land in the circle.

***

Rainbow Dash rushed up. Higher and higher she went, until she rose above the highest clouds. She took a deep breath, and then dove towards the ground. Normally, she would enjoy the rush of speed, the blast of wind that flowed past her face. Faster and faster she went, rapidly approaching the ground. About 100 feet above the ground, she braced herself.

Right before she hit the ground, she pulled her wings in, pivoted, and took off in a blinding light.

She created a sonic rainboom.

Space Butler smiled as the multitude of colors hit right above his head. The shockwave rocked the bakery, while all the guardponies and Canterlot unicorns got thrown away, towards town square. Satisfied about the results, the butler stood next to his master, readying a set of brass knuckles. He would have opted for his signature guns, but a certain white unicorn stressed the importance of the Canterlot populace surviving the ordeal.

Some of the possessed ponies didn’t get taken far from the bakery, and were soon back. It was mainly the guardponies, since their armor weighed them down considerably more.

“Looks like we have quite a bit of work ahead of us, dear,” Rarity said, levitating two pieces of cloth on each side. Despite the odds, the fashionista allowed herself a smile.

“Miss Rarity, this will be easy. I can more than handle these ruffians.” He gave the mare a smile. “But, with you watching my back, I know we will succeed.”

And with that, the two braced for the guards.

***

In town square, the guards and noble ponies recovered from the sonic rainboom. The wave wasn’t enough to take out the puchus, but it did the job the human intended.

In a flash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie teleported in front of them. Applejack went straight for the guards. She bucked them all with ease, years of apple bucking paying off. Pinkie Pie took care of the nobles from Canterlot. Using her party cannon, she blasted dozens at a time.

Each blast of her cannon was different. The first shot had ponies covered in cakes, pies, and other desserts. The second blast saw ponies covered in streamers and confetti. Or at least, that’s what those things looked like. The ponies didn’t see the bricks in the cake, nor that the confetti was actually pellets covered in pepper spray. The ammo, unusual as it was, served its purpose. Pinkie Pie, completely unaffected by her “party favors” bounced around the fallen nobles. The cakes were delicious.

The party pony wasn’t only having fun. Whenever she found a puchu, she flung it towards the sky, where Rainbow Dash took the deceptively cute thing and chucked it towards the circle of flames. There were a few Pegasus guards, but Dash made quick work of them. The wave of the sonic rainboom didn’t knock them out, but the resultant crash to the ground took care of a good chunk. The other Pegasus guards, unfortunately, were too slow for the blue blur.

Back on the ground, Twilight used a sleeping spell to knock out the guards. She went to subdue the latest guard, when a blast of pink magic struck her side. Another blast of magic headed towards her, but she dodged; the stray magic striking a house, which exploded. Twilight looked at the guard, and gasped at the familiar sight.

“Hello Twily. Why don’t you come here and help out your BBBFF?”

***

The duo stood back-to-back, their route to the door of Sugarcube Corner cut off by a few crafty guardponies. It has been an hour since their battle begun, the butler working at a top pace. The first few guards stood no chance to his weapons. They weren’t dumb, though, and they quickly adapted to the brass devices on his hands. Rarity, although not as tired, had her own trouble. The cloth she used was durable, but it didn’t have the strength needed to break past the guard’s armor. She stayed back as more of a support pony, not quite sure what needed to be done by her at this point.

A light appeared to one of the guard pony’s side. He broke out into a wicked smile.

“Well well well, looks like it’s the end for you two.” He let out a chuckle. “Any last words?”

A second light appeared, and the butler smiled.

“Buckle up.”

“What’s that supposed to-“ He was cut off as a horn honked.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*

In an instant, 6 of the 10 guards were taken out by military jeep. The driver-side door opened up, and revealed another human. This one had a decidedly relaxed look, and wore blue jeans with a red jacket that was rolled up to the elbows. A yellow tie stood out from his blue undershirt. On top of his head sat an amazing afro. He looked around at the destruction he caused, then stared at Space Butler.

“Well, long time no see, old man,” he said as he smiled. Space Butler gawked at the other human, tears coming down his face.

“Nabeshin, my old protégé.” He stood straight and wiped away his tears. “How did you get here?”

“That was easy, Space Butler.” He jumped out of the jeep and walked over. “I was helping an old lady cross the street, when Will showed up.”

“Will, as in the Great Will?” Nabeshin nodded. “How did she get there? Last time I saw her, I blew her up outside a hospital window.”

“Well, she IS the Great Will of the Macrocosm. She probably reset herself so that she didn’t suffer any injuries. She’ll know not to mess with you again,” he said with a laugh.

The guards, annoyed that they were ignored, decided to attack the would-be rebels.

Nabeshin was the first to react. He grabbed two of the guards by their necks, and struck them together. They were out cold in an instant. One guard went after Space Butler. He side-stepped the guard, then grabbed him by the tail. Using a practiced motion, the butler flipped the guard over his shoulder, and slammed him into the ground, knocking him out.

The last guard, desperate for any victory, went after Rarity. She stood her ground, and as the guard got close, she teleported behind him, wrapping his legs with the cloth. With a flick of her horn, she slammed the guard back and forth, until all he could see were stars. She removed the cloth, and dusted it off. It was good cloth, and could be used for later.

With the last of the guards knocked out in the area, the three took this time to relax. Rarity sat on the ground, using the cloth as a blanket. Space Butler stood next to his master, and Nabeshin sat back in the jeep, leaving the door open.

“So,” Rarity began, “tell me about yourself. Dear Space Butler mentioned you once, but I want to hear from the po-er... man himself.”

Nabeshin let out a hearty laugh. “It’s quite fine, lady. Back when I was in the military, old Space Butler here taught me everything he knew. I was his protégé, but we were the closest of friends. After we got out of the service, we hung around many places. Boy, the things we did…” He looked at the white pony for a second. “Well, that’s not appropriate for a lady such as yourself. Let’s just say we had quite the time.

“But eventually, all good times come to an end. He found a new master to serve, I dove deeper into the underground, and it was that way up until now.”

Space Butler interjected. “What about the Great Will?”

“I’m not sure,” the afro-man responded. “After she dropped me off here, she went off and went somewhere. I figure she won’t be bothering anyone again.”

Before Rarity could respond, Twilight zipped past the group, crashing into the bakery. The force of the impact took out one of the walls.

The trio rushed over, concern in their eyes. Before they could get to their friend, a shield of pink magic blocked their path. A guard pony, a unicorn, was walking toward the lavender mare. His helmet removed, everyone could see the two-toned blue mane.

“I’m sorry, guys, but this is between me and my sister.”

***

Out near town square, Peso was enjoying a good night’s sleep. A hard working brown earth pony from Mexicolt, he was finally living the dream of Ponyville.

That is, until tonight.

A large explosion rocked his humble house, the flames spread quickly. Poor Peso tried to make it out of his collapsing home, but a beam pinned him to the ground. With everything crashing down around him, he cried like a filly.

Suddenly, he was overtaken by the night sky itself. Peso couldn’t believe what was going on. He was concerned by the arms, though.

“Poor Peso.” A voice mused. “I am the Great Will of the Macrocosm. I will reset the story for you, so that you may live.”

Peso broke down, tears of relief flowed down his face. Everything looked so dim, but he was happy to know he’d survive.

“Mmmmm,” the voice cooed. “You are quite the strapping stallion.” Peso’s face went pale. “I’m not usually one to indulge, but I think I’ll make an exception for you~”

With that, Peso was dragged against his will into the Great will for a night of *ahem* passion. Not a single pony heard his screams of agony.