Did I Ever Tell You The Definition Of Insanity?

Did I Ever Tell You The Definition of Insanity?

Chapter 1: Falling into a dream

“Do you like that, you fucking son of a bitch?!” Vaas yelled at the dead Sumatran tiger that lay in front of him. That tiger had been a real problem since the start of last week. It had killed five pirates of his gang, but Vaas finally made it pay. “You might be the the nephew of the king of the jungle but here?” He waited for a dramatic pause before finally continuing. “Here I am the king! This is my island, my territory and my kingdom!” Vaas gave it another hit on its head with the stock of his AK-47, splashing blood and pieces of its skull and brain out of its head in the process.

After he finally calmed down, he took a moment to see where exactly he had killed the tiger. That way he could come back later, place a sign on the place where the body now lay, and that sign would signify what he had done today. He liked boasting about himself, that way more and more civilians would be scared of him, and thus he would get everything he wanted.

Trees and bushes surrounded him, and he felt like an ant in an ant colony; the tiger must have lived in the deep part of the jungle. A little to his left was a little stream with water flowing at a rather fast speed, so that meant that he was nearing one of the many mountains of the island. He had a rather powerful gift, because just by looking at things of the island he could determine where he was. This island was his home, his kingdom, and he knew it like the back of his hand. It was also a good trait when leading his gang of pirates through the jungle.

He spit on the dead tiger and walked to the stream. “Fucking tigers, thinking they can kill everyone they want. I, and only I, have that privilege and no one else, not even a piece of shit like that tiger.” He sat down near the edge of the stream and looked at his reflection. The reflection showed him that his black mohawk was still perfectly in place, but he did have some blood on his face, and some covered a bit of his scar. He placed his gun on the ground and splashed some water on his face with his hands. The cold water was really refreshing since it was always very hot on Rook Island, and rain was a rather rare thing. When he saw that most of the blood had been cleaned from his face, he took his gun again, and got up. It was just at that moment that one of his pirates approached him from behind.

“Yo boss, we-“ He immediately stopped talking when he found himself staring into the barrel of Vaas’s gun.

“Are you deaf or something? Are you fucking deaf?! I told you before, never sneak up on me or this gun might go off without warning!” Vaas yelled to the pirate, a bit aggravated that he and the other pirates just didn’t learn their lesson..

“I’m sorry boss. It won’t happen again,” the pirate replied with a desperate tone in his voice. He knew that Vaas wasn’t completely sane, so anything could happen if he was aggravated, the tiger was the best example at the moment.

“I don’t know if you will remember it,” He kept staring at the pirate in front of him, but slowly he lowered his gun towards the left foot of the pirate. “But you will remember this.” Then he pulled the trigger.

The pirate fell to the ground and screamed in pain while trying to get his foot out of his shoe, he really needed to see the wound that Vaas had just inflicted upon him. After a little bit of fumbling with the lace of his left shoe, he finally got his foot out of it. He slowly, but with a lot of grunting and pain, pulled the sock off his foot and examined it with deep concern. The bullet went straight to his shoe, and thus straight through his foot, leaving a hole that was as big as the size of a coin with blood gushing out of it; he just hoped the shot hadn’t broken any of his bones in his foot. “Fuck!” he exclaimed while trying to stop the bleeding with his hands, but it wasn’t working, and thus he needed something else to cover up the wound.

Vaas crouched near the pirate, looked at his wound, and took on a mocking grin, there was no concern discernable on his face, just that rather insulting grin. The pirate in front of him was pathetic, from just a little shot in the foot it looked like he was about to cry. He looked at a bandage he had taken out of the pocket of his pants and threw it to the pirate who accepted the bandage with open arms. “Here, take care of your feet. I can’t kill you now because I need everyone for the temple,” he said as he saw the pirate bandaging his foot with such a speed that could rival the fastest surgeon on the island, as the pirate really thought that just a little hole like that could kill him.

The temple Vaas spoke about was currently the ultimate objective in his eyes. It was an old legend of his ancestors who lived on Rook Island. They spoke about a temple that held the secret of Rook Island, but of course Vaas didn’t care about the secret because he just wanted the riches that were waiting in the treasure room. If he could get his hands on the treasures in that temple, then he wouldn’t have to worry anymore about lacking of money, and he could get some other treats to satisfy his desires, like hookers, guns and, of course, drugs.

The pirate had just finished bandaging his foot and looked at Vaas, but he didn’t dare to glare at him since he knew that Vaas was in a rather sadistic mood. “That’s what I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now. We’ve found the temple, and we’re currently trying to open the gate,” he replied to Vaas’ remark about the temple while prodding with his finger at the now bandaged wound; it made him grimace.

Vaas was silent for a moment but then smiled at the pirate and patted him on the head like one would do with a dog when it does as commanded. “Good boy,” he said with a rather silly voice, and at the same time ruffling the shaggy black hair of the pirate. “Now be a good pirate and bandage the rest of your foot, then skin that tiger over there and take its pelt. We can get some good money for that.”

The pirate sighed and lowered his head so that he could escape from Vaas’ hand disturbing his hair. “Yes boss.”

Vaas got up and smiled, he liked it when his pirates were as obedient as puppies. “Good,” he said as he walked towards the camp of his pirates. This day just kept getting better and better.

“Asshole,” the pirate mumbled as he tried on his shoe.

*****

“Fire in the hole!” Vaas yelled as he pushed the button to detonate the dynamite. After less than a second, an explosion followed which shook the ground with a magnitude of three on the Richter scale.

Moments before his arrival at the temple, his pirates had already placed some dynamite near the stony gate of the temple with the intention of blowing it back to the stone age. They had been searching for a way to open it without the use of explosives, but in the end they chose the hard stuff since they just couldn’t figure out a way into the temple. But Vaas honestly didn’t mind that they opted for dynamite, since he really liked to blow things up. He also liked setting villages on fire, killing animals with his knife, and riding off-road in a car he stole from one of the civilians. That was his life, and life on Rook Island was a paradise for him.

The temple itself lay in a deep cave under a large lake, and he knew the exact location of the temple since it was part of the legend. It said, ‘Go to the place where bats sleep under sacred water’. The riddle wasn’t that cryptic and, within a few hours of searching it could be found easily.

The explosion that shook the ground also seemed to have shaken his brain a bit because he received a slight headache from the explosion, but he shook his head, and the headache began to disappear slowly. His pirates may have used just a tad too much dynamite, but he didn’t really care, because the more things he could blow up, the better.

He got out of his hiding place, which was just a low wall, and walked to the now open, and completely destroyed, entrance of the temple. He could immediately see that it was a large dark cave without any real sign of the temple, it was too dark to even see a couple of feet ahead of him, and thus he motioned to one of the pirates who was also looking at the open entrance.

“Get five men and six torches. We will descend with a small number of people, that way we will be less vulnerable to traps,” Vaas said to the pirate who nodded and ran to the camp to get some torches. In some situations, Vaas could be really sane and make perfect plans, but most of the time he gave life the middle finger and did what he wanted, whenever he wanted.

After five minutes of waiting, the pirate returned with the torches and five men behind him, and they were armed to the teeth. Each had an AK-47, some grenades, and a knife to match. They didn’t know what they were going to find in the temple, so they figured it was best to go in overprepared.

Vaas gave the ‘follow me’ motion to the five pirates and walked into the cave, eager to see what kind of treasures the temple would bear. Needless to say, it was very dark, but that was why he had his men bring the torches. He lit his torch with his lighter and handed it to his men to do the same.

He was instantly greeted by strange drawings on both sides of the cave, each drawing wasn’t that big, but they all repeated themselves. The drawings showed a woman who had a blue aura around her. Vaas wasn’t so interested in the drawing, but then his eyes saw something, and he could feel his mouth watering. Next to the woman was some kind of altar with what seemed to be flowers surrounding it, but that wasn’t the thing he was looking at. No, on the altar lay something gold, something that looked like a necklace with a blue jewel, and he could only imagine how much money he was going to get for it on the black market.

He continued walking towards what seemed to be the real entrance of the temple, since he could see that the stones around the gate looked really old and some moss had grown on them, but it was the gate that caught his attention because it wasn’t completely shut. He lowered his torch and raised his gun which was still in his left hand; he was ready for anything that could ambush him. He opened the gate discovered what seemed to be another hallway, but this one was different than the first. There were some strange drawings and signs on the floor, and they depicted some of the animals that inhabited the island.

Vaas didn’t trust this hallway and motioned to one of his pirates. “You, walk.” He pointed with his index finger to the end of the hallway.

The pirate looked at the drawings on the floor and gulped, almost shitting his pants at the same time. It just didn’t seem safe. “But…”

“Walk! Fucking walk!” Vaas barked, and pointed his gun at the pirate. But this time he didn’t aim at his feet, like with the other pirate, but straight at his head.

The pirate nodded and walked forward. In front of him lay three stones which he could step on, and each of them had an animal painted on them. The first stone depicted a leopard, the second one a tiger, and the last one a tapir, but he didn’t know what they meant. He sighed, stepped on the stone with the drawing of the tiger, and almost immediately the floor under him gave way. He fell down the hole, and the floor closed again; not even his screams were heard.

Vaas just laughed. “Ha, what a fucking idiot. Adios amigo.” He walked to place where the pirate stood just moments ago and crouched, giving his full attention to the riddle. He knew that the answer wasn’t that hard to find, it just needed thinking through. He looked at the three stones behind the first row of stones and saw once again three animals, only this time the animals were different. The first one was a shark, the second one a komodo dragon, and the last one a deer.

The gears in his head began to turn, there was some kind of connection between the first row of stones and the second row, and all of the stones depicted animals. But, at first glance it seemed that none of them had anything in common. He had to think out of the box, he had to make the connection himself, thus after a few seconds he placed his hand on the stone with the drawing of the tapir on it and closed his eyes. When he didn’t feel the floor falling out under him, he smiled and got up. “I did it. I solved the riddle,” he cheered as he praised his intelligence.

One of the pirates, who were waiting at the real entrance of the temple, stepped forward and stood beside Vaas. “What was the riddle, boss?” he asked, but he didn’t expect Vaas to grab him by the neck and push him towards the stones.

“Tell me what you see!” Vaas ordered the pirate as he pushed his face closer towards the stones on the ground.

“I…uhh…I see animals,” the pirate replied, not really sure what else he could have said. He cast a glance at Vaas to see his reaction, and luckily for him Vaas’ expression hadn’t changed.

“And?”

“I… I don’t know, boss.” He realized Vaas didn’t like that because he felt a smack on the back of his head.

Vaas released the pirate with some force. “Do I only have idiots in my gang?” He took a moment to calm himself and after that moment of calm, he pointed at the stone which depicted the tapir. “See the tapir? He’s a herbivore, and the other two drawings illustrate carnivores. It’s the same on the second row. There the deer is the herbivore, and the other two are carnivores. If you had the slightest bit of  intelligence then you could see that we just need to step on the stones with herbivores. Normally, even an imbecile like you could figure it out. Anyways, let’s get going, the prize is waiting for us.”

*****

The five of them finally arrived in the room with the altar after quite some time wandering through the labyrinth of the temple. It was filled with puzzles and dead ends but luckily for them, Vaas was rather smart and always found the solution to the puzzles they were confronted with. Vaas didn’t have control over the dead ends, since he had no way of knowing where they were, but most of the time they didn’t encounter them, and they could just continue their way through the temple.

The room with the altar was a circular room with nothing else but the altar in the middle of the room, not even a vase or an old mask could be found. Either some treasure hunters had robbed the place clean, or the ancestors who lived on Rook Island didn’t attach much importance to material things, but that all didn’t matter for Vaas, since his prize, his necklace, was still resting on the altar.

He walked to the altar, lay his gun on the ground, and inspected the necklace with great interest. It was even more beautiful than on the drawings, the chain seemed to be made of pure gold and a blue sapphire was its pendant. Oh, he could almost feel all the bitches he was going to get with the money he would receive by selling this magnificent necklace.

He grabbed the necklace and placed it into the pocket of his pants, but that proved to be a mistake because a blue mist floated out of his pocket. Vaas didn’t see the blue mist which was spewing behind him, but he did see that his pirates had disappeared.

“Well, what do we have here? Vaas, the infamous pirate but also a lunatic,” the blue mist said in a feminine voice. It slowly began to take the form of a woman.

Vaas didn’t move, he didn’t even blink, he just stood there and considered his next move, a move the voice behind him wouldn’t expect. Hours seemed to pass before he made his next move. Moments later, he took his gun firmly into his grasp, sprinted to the altar, jumped over it, and took cover behind it. He waited for one second, peeked out of cover and pulled the trigger of his gun, determined to kill the mist in front of him in one way or another. The bullets flew out of his barrel towards the mist, but they simply flew through it; they didn’t even do any damage to it. Once Vaas could hear that his gun was empty, he once again took cover behind the altar and began reloading his gun.

The cloud was now fully transformed into a floating woman with a blue aura surrounding her body. In fact, her whole body was blue, even her hair. The woman cleared her throat. “Are you-“ She couldn’t finish her sentence since Vaas had reloaded and once again started shooting straight at the woman who was floating a couple of feet away from him.

“Die!” He yelled at her, some sweat slowly dripping from his forehead, mostly since he had never encountered a being such as this, and it had began to scare him. “Fucking die!” He kept firing and firing, but all things had to come to an end, and thus his gun stopped firing when his magazine was empty.

When he ceased fire, she spoke again, but with a slightly amused expression on her face and at the same time mocking him for his failed attempts to kill her. “You done?”

Vaas looked at his gun and searched his pockets, but he didn’t have any more ammo with him and with a defeated sigh, he threw the gun towards the woman. “Alright, you’ve got me. Now what? You’re gonna kill me like my men?” he asked her tauntingly. He was known for laughing at death and this time wouldn’t be any different.

The woman shook her head. “No, they’re not dead. I’ve sent them away, just like the rest of your pirates who were guarding the entrance to the cave, and the pirate who fell into the trapdoor. I’ll tell you later where precisely I’ve sent them, but for now I just want to have a talk with you. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the spirit of Rook Island, Mr.Montenegro. Or should I just say Vaas?”

He looked at her skeptically. “How do you know my name? You’re not a civilian I once terrorized, nor a whore I once abused,” he asked her when the memories of his so-called crimes came back to his mind and, just by thinking about it, a small smile crept on his face.

The woman chuckled lightly. The chuckle was like music to his ears, but he wasn’t fooled by her beautiful appearance and her eargasming voice, she seemed very deceptive and untrustworthy. “I know everyone’s name, what they do and what their... deepest fantasies are. I know everything about everyone who has set foot on this island,” she said with a sultry tone at ‘fantasies’ and at the same time took a step closer to him.

He noticed this and felt his hand twitching. He just wanted to find another weapon and shoot the bitch right through her skull, but he decided against it; he wanted to know why she had come out of the necklace. “There has to be a reason why you came out of that necklace.”

The woman nodded. “That there is. You see, I’ve been keeping track of everyone on this island, and you’ve been a bad boy, Vaas. And bad boys need to be punished, just like I punished your partners in crime. I’ve sent each and every one of them to a different world. Some worlds are nice and the inhabitants are friendly, while others are torn apart by war and death. I’m pretty sure at least one of your pirates is dead by now, and I’m going to punish you, too.” She began to grin deviously.

He saw the grin and returned it but at the same time deduced a slightly different meaning from the word punish. “Oh, I’m down for that,” he said as he began to unbutton his pants.

She facepalmed and shook her head. “No, keep that monster inside. I’m going to punish you by sending you to a place where violence is a rare thing, where everything centers around friendship and love, and thus a place that you’re going to hate. You will learn their ways, their friendship, their love, and you will come back as a changed person; as a sane person.” With a snap of her fingers a blue aura began to surround him.

He let go of his pants, which dropped on the floor, and desperately tried to push the aura away from his body, knowing that if he didn’t manage to push the aura away, he would meet the same fate as his pirates. Seeing that it wasn’t working, he began to glare at her, trying to insult her one more time before disappearing. “You fucking bitch! I’m gonna kill you when-!“ He disappeared; his sentence forever cut off in this world.

The woman smiled and closed the gates of the temple with her aura, ensuring that nobody could enter the temple until Vaas and the other pirates returned from their rehabilitation program. Her body began to dissolve again into a mist, and in less than a minute, it once again rested in the sapphire of the necklace, awaiting their return.

*****

Deep within the Whitetail Woods, with its abundant trees and bushes, a magical aura appeared out of nowhere. It wasn’t that big, just a little sphere not much larger than a human thumb, but in the blink of an eye, it began to expand. It grew and expanded until the outline of something beginning to materialize could be seen inside the aura.

First were the bones that had to hold the creature in place, thus the occasional crack was audible. Next up were the intestines and organs that had to keep the creature alive and make sure that the life processes could continue. Then came the muscles that protected the intestines and organs, and made sure that the creature could move and have some force when throwing punches. Skin covered up the muscles and made sure that blood couldn’t escape from the arteries. Lastly, the clothes began to materialize to cover up Vaas’ skin and to keep him warm.

When the aura felt that it had done its job well, it disappeared, and the creature fell on the ground, still dazed from its sudden teleportation.

Vaas slowly, and with a lot of groaning and grunting, pushed himself into sitting position and rubbed his temples, trying to make his sudden headache go away. “Oh, fuck. What happened?” he said as he continued to rub his temples, still not looking at his surroundings and thus not realizing that he was in another world.

When he felt that his headache had been reduced to a minor background pain, he began observing his surroundings. The first thing that he noticed, were the colors. They seemed a bit too bright, like someone had increased the contrast of a TV. The next thing he noticed was the forest around him. It didn’t seem like the rich jungle of Rook Island; the forest seemed to have trees and bushes that only grew in temperate climates. Slowly, everything came back to him. The temple, the spirit, and his pants; it all flooded his mind at once. He smashed his hand against the ground, cursing the spirit in the process. He didn’t ask for this, he never wanted all of this, but he realized he couldn’t do anything about it. He might be a pirate overlord, but he wasn’t a god, thus he couldn’t poof himself back to his own world. Still, this new world wasn’t going to change him, and he would gladly introduce himself to the inhabitants of this new world.

He continued taking in his surroundings and saw a little pond just a few feet to his left. Suddenly, he could feel that his throat was like a desert. He stood up, and when he regained his balance, he began to walk towards the pond while constantly looking around him, cautious of the current circumstances.

He arrived at the pond and looked at his reflection, a smile swiftly following. His face was still the same as ever. His mohawk still stood proudly on the top of his head, his scar, which began at his left temple and ran all the way to the eyebrow of his left eye, was still there to remind him of a time long past, and finally there was his goatee that would tickle the women who kissed him. He was still the Vaas he knew.

He felt some relief now that he knew the spirit hadn’t done anything strange to him, apart from the transportation to another world, of course. He looked at the pond and grimaced a little. The pond wasn’t filthy, but it was stagnant water, and he knew that stagnant water meant diseases and bacteria. He didn’t really care much about his health, but he wasn’t going to pass the the rest of the day on a toilet or in the bushes in a world he knew nothing about. Still, he needed water, and he needed it now.

Seeing that there was no other option, he sat down on his knees and lowered himself so that his face was just hanging above the water. He placed his right hand in the water and began to move it, trying to diminish the chance of getting a disease due to bacteria. He took some water in his hand and sipped from it, and instantly spewed it back out. It tasted foul, like something had been rotting in there for at least three months. Luckily he just tasted it and didn’t drink from it, otherwise he could have gotten something worse than spending a day on the toilet.

He sighed and laid himself on the grass, trying to order things in his mind for once. He had been sent to a strange world with way too bright colors, and a pond that could kill someone by just taking a sip from it. On the bright side, he was still himself. But he no longer had any of his weapons. In short, he’d be fucked if he couldn’t get out of the forest and find something to drink.

He once again pushed himself into a sitting position, intending to get out of the forest, but this was thwarted by a strike on the back of his head. He winced and stared at the ground behind him. There, just behind his buttocks, lay a nut not much larger than a pebble. He picked it up and looked around for a possible trajectory, and thus for his assailant would still be.

He felt another hit on his head, this time a bit higher than the last. He began to scan the trees, his aggressor would be there somewhere, and he would find him, no matter what. After a couple of seconds, he could see some motion in one of the branches of a tree that stood just a few feet away from him. He continued to stare at it, he would find the son of a bitch, even if it killed him. His staring proved a success because he could now see his attacker; it was a little brown squirrel with another nut in its paws.

Vaas saw that the squirrel once again began to aim, but he wasn’t going to let the little bastard win. He sprinted to the tree and gave it a firm kick against its trunk. In response, the branches began to shake, and the squirrel lost his balance, plummeting towards the ground. Luckily for him, or maybe not, Vaas caught the squirrel in his hands before it hit the ground. After that, everything happened at breakneck speed for the little critter. In less than a second, he was lying with his back on the ground, and trapped in the tightening grasp of the giant above him. He could feel all the air in his lungs being pushed out with each squeeze the giant gave him. He was going to die here, and he knew it.

Vaas came closer to the little bastard he had caught, their faces just inches away. He stared into the squirrel’s eyes with all the rage he could muster; his eyes could have been transformed into flames at that moment. He had just seen that the animals in this world had more consciousness than the animals back home, so he was going to scare it before killing it. “You like that, you like throwing your nuts at me?” It was a strange, calm, and controlled voice that spoke, but his eyes still burned, fueled with rage and anger.

The squirrel squirmed with ever-growing fear, trying to get out of the grasp of the giant and trying to tear his eyes away from the gaze of the mad... thing above him. He had only seen two gazes in his life that absolutely terrified him, and those were Fluttershy’s stare and the gaze he was now confronted with. He knew what it meant. It meant that he was going to die.

Vaas saw what the squirrel was trying to do and shook his head, tightening his grasp in the process. “Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he began, “It’s not nice to escape while your host is still talking.  Did mama not teach you any manners, little guy?” he teased the squirrel, trying to insult and terrorize it. His free hand went to his boot and he pulled out a little pocket knife, a knife that the spirit had forgotten. He brought the knife to the squirrel’s face but didn’t cut it.

“Let’s see, you’ve hit me twice on the head with those annoying nuts of yours, so it’s only fair that I expect compensation... with interest, of course. Now, what is a fair compensation?” he asked himself, beginning to think about possible torture scenarios. After he had decided on the perfect torture, he smiled sadistically and let out a chuckle. “Oh, I know a good one. First, I’m going to cut off your nuts. After I removed every chance of you creating nut-throwing children, I’m going to cut you open and tear out your organs one at a time. It will be a very painful and slow death, and you’ll be alive enough to feel every second of it. Sounds good?”

It was a rhetorical question, but apparently the squirrel had understood every word of Vaas’ detailed explanation, and was now desperately trying to free himself, but it was to no avail since he couldn’t even move his legs. Gulping, he closed his eyes and waited for the pain, the pain that would be present in his body until the light in his eyes faded. The waiting was eventually shattered by a feminine voice.

“Hold it right there!” Twilight shouted and began to call upon her magic in case the creature tried something. She had arrived just in time, if she had arrived only two seconds later, then the squirrel would have been castrated. But now she was here, and she was going to do everything in her power to stop that vile monster. She didn’t know why the Princess had sent her to this location, but she was glad she did, because now she had to stop that monster from inflicting harm upon others. She had never seen such a creature. It looked like a hairless ape, but apparently it had more intelligence and a little bit more hair than the normal ape. Still, she had to stop the creature, and it would be best to bring it to the Princess because it seemed that it could communicate.

“And who are you to tell me to stop?” he asked her with a taunting grin, slowly moving his pocket knife to the squirrel’s nutsack. He wasn’t surprised by the talking pony that stood just a few feet in front of him, he had seen more freaky shit back on Rook Island. Still, a talking pony had to be in his top ten, and he briefly wondered what else he would meet in this strange world.

Twilight was slightly intimidated by the creature, it seemed to know no fear, but she couldn’t chicken out now. She had a squirrel to protect and the Princess would be disappointed if she heard that her faithful student had left a squirrel to its fate. She was going to make sure the squirrel left this place alive, even if she had to endanger herself. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Magic, and the faithful student of Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria, and I order you to put your weapon down.” Twilight thanked her brother in her mind because he had given her some Royal Guard training, and now she was grateful for those lessons she had at first found incredibly stupid.

Vaas stared at Twilight for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. He always found it so entertaining when people, and now ponies, tried to give him orders. He was the one who gave orders and not the other way around. He was boss and king, and not some submissive bitch. After he managed to control his laughter, he let go of the squirrel. “You’re off the hook... for now. I’ve bigger fish to fry.” The squirrel didn’t need to be told twice and darted away. He was going to make love to his mate when he got home, his nutsack demanded it.

Vaas’ gaze followed the squirrel, occasionally eying the purple mare, until it disappeared behind one of the many bushes of the forest. He turned back to Twilight and got into fighting stance, back slightly bent, and his knife swiftly changing hands. He would make sure the pony would feel pain until it was unbearable, and she begged for her death. He would rule this place. “Alright Miss Sparkle, let’s fight,” he said, constantly moving his body. In a melee fight, agility and strength were everything, and he had both.

Twilight smirked as she called upon her magic, and her horn began to glow in her violet aura. “This will hardly be a fair fight,” she replied with boldness in her attitude. She didn’t have a bold nature, but hanging out with Rainbow Dash and Trixie, who had settled in Ponyville, had changed her attitude a bit. She was still the studious nerd everypony knew, but now she dared a little more than she used to.

Vaas smiled at her remark, he liked girls who dared to bite back, but they had to know their limits, or bad things could happen to them. Still, he wondered why she had said that, so he pressed the issue. “And why is that?” He slowly took a step in her direction, but he was still several feet away from her.

“Because I cheated,” she answered, and smacked the creature in the back of the head with the branches she had levitated there.

Vaas felt the impact against his poor skull and fell to the ground. His last thought was ‘I’m going to kill that purple bitch’. When he hit his head against the ground, he was unconscious.

*****

Vaas could feel his senses slowly returning, but it seemed that his head decided to have a party with a lot of drums; it had to be one of the worst headaches he had ever had. He kept his eyes closed because he knew that light and headaches were mortal enemies, light would always worsen a headache, and he wasn’t exactly willing to let that happen. Thus,with no vision, he had to rely on what he felt and heard.

His mind was still a daze, and it took some time before could register all the sounds around him; it was like someone had placed a sponge in his brain that was sucking everything up. After a few minutes, he could feel the daze disappearing, although the headache was still present, and began to listen attentively.

“...cess, do you know what it is?” said a voice, and he connected that voice to the purple pony he had seen in the forest; it was the pony he swore to kill. It seemed to be talking to someone else, and he was going to find out who. He then wanted to feel the ground under him with his hands but realized he couldn’t, something was stopping him from moving his hands. He could feel a pressure around his wrists and realized that he had been cuffed. These ponies weren’t stupid, he had to admit, but he was going to find a way out of his cuffs, of that he was sure. He acted like he was still unconscious and continued eavesdropping.

“I do, Twilight. That creature is called a ‘human’. They are the dominant species of a planet called ‘Earth’. They are like earth ponies, they don’t have magic or wings and do everything with what they call ‘hands’. Their world is very different from our own, and while we live in an almost utopia, they do not, and I pity them. Their planet is torn apart by war, diseases, and crime,” Vaas had to stop himself from laughing. All the things the second voice had said seemed so bad in this world, but on Earth it was just common business, an everyday experience. He was going to teach this world a thing or two about killing and crime. Still, he had to be quiet and keep listening for now if he wanted more information.

“Oh, maybe that’s why he acted so violently in the forest, or maybe he was just scared,” He heard the voice of the purple mare say. Vaas now tried to stop smiling. The purple mare was wrong, dead wrong, and he was going to show her how wrong she was. Scared wasn’t written in his dictionary, and she would soon see why.

A soft chuckle echoed around the room, and because of that Vaas could deduce that he was in a rather empty room that would always create echoes, his mind said that he was in a dungeon. “The human, Vaas, isn’t scared, Twilight. He stares death in the eye and spits in it just because he wants to. No, I wouldn’t call him scared. Vaas, you aren’t scared, eh?” she asked, the question clearly directed to the human.

Vaas, who now knew that the second voice was aware of his fake unconsciousness, slowly opened his eyes and stared at a white horse that stood just a few feet in front of him, her eyes making contact with his own. He saw her warm smile, the kindness in her heart, and the warmth radiating off her... It sickened him, it was like someone had ripped this image out of a girly dream of a five year old child.

He could now see that his wrist were cuffed, but also his ankles, and that made his escape a bit more difficult than he first thought. He looked around and saw that he was wrong. If this was a dungeon, then he’d really like to see the most beautiful rooms in this world. Every window had stained glass, and almost always he could see that purple pony in them, like she was some kind of hero, and he hated heroes. The floor had one red carpet that begin at a giant golden door, which was guarded by two pony guards, and ended at a golden throne. The rest of the room wasn’t really decorated, just a candle here and there, and Vaas liked it. He never was one for accessories anyway.

He turned his attention back to the white horse in front of him, a small grin directed towards her. “No, I’m not. Now uncuff me, and I’ll show you why,” he said, wriggling his wrists and that cuffs that were attached to it. If she uncuffed him now, he would let the white one live, the purple one was going to die anyway.

She chuckled again and shook her head. “Sorry, you’re too dangerous, and it appears you and my student got off on the wrong hoof.”

Twilight was slightly aghast by her mentor’s idiom. “Um, Princess? Got off on the wrong hoof is actually diminishing the whole situation. He tried to castrate and kill a squirrel, only I protected it. It’s just not possible to accept his behavior.” She didn’t actually want to get the creature into any real trouble, that just didn’t lie in her nature, but what she had seen in the forest was unforgivable and unforgettable.

“I know,” she began, taking a quick glance at Vaas who was struggling against his cuffs. She had to stifle a laugh. Vaas was doing a Sisymarean task: the cuffs could only be removed by magic. “Twilight, I heard you joined the Equestrian Rehabilitation Program, am I right?” She restored her façade, but kept that gentle smile on her face that she was known of.

Twilight nodded, also looking at Vaas, who sat several feet away from her against the wall. “Yes, I enlisted myself two months ago, I want to help ponies find their right path again. Everypony deserves a second chance,” she said as looked back at her mentor. What she saw didn’t please her.

Celestia had a small grin on her face and a devilish twinkle in her eyes. Twilight knew this was bad, because the Princess always had that twinkle in her eyes when she was going to do something her student didn’t like, she had seen it a lot when she still lived in Canterlot. “Well then, Vaas will be your first assignment. You are going to help him find his right path again.” Celestia waited for a moment as Twilight processed it. The look on her student’s face was priceless.

Priceless indeed, Twilight’s mouth hung agape, her eyes stopped blinking and her mind needed some time to process all of it. When her mind finally came back to her, she quickly began to state her disapproval of her mentor’s choice. “But Princess, he’s dangerous and wants to kill me,” she contended, fear clearly present in her voice. The princess could place anypony under her care, but not him, not it.

When Vaas heard what the Princess was going to do with him, he saw no other way than to side with the purple mare for once, his cuffs quickly forgotten. “I have to agree with the bitch.” That received him a glare from the purple mare, but he didn’t care, he just needed to stop all of this from happening. “What if I hurt her, can you live the guilt that you condemned that pony to death? When my hands get out of these cuffs, they will soon be around her throat.” He winked at the purple mare, and she brought a hoof to her throat, slowly rubbing it up and down.

“You two have no say in the matter,” she said and glared at Vaas. She could handle a lot of things, but she wasn’t going to allow him to hurt her student. “And you should keep those hands where they belong. Did you know I did you a favor? Anastacia, the spirit of Rook Island, originally wanted to send you to Tuchanka, the Krogan homeworld. You would have been dead within minutes. Luckily for you, I managed to convince her to send you to this world. No one deserves the Krogan homeworld,” She shuddered at the thought. She had heard stories from other spirits and most of them continued to haunt her dreams, but luckily Luna made sure that it didn’t happen a lot, only when she wanted to tease her sister.

She turned to her student and saw that she was shivering a little. She pitied her, but she knew that Twilight could handle it, she just needed some time to adapt, was all. Twilight was going to help Vaas, of that she was sure. “Twilight,” she began, grabbing the attention of her student, who looked up, “You have nothing to fear, those cuffs have a special defense mechanism. If you see that he’s trying to attack you or somepony else, or if he’s just not behaving himself, then you just need to channel your magic through his cuffs, and he’ll receive a light electric shock, nothing serious or dangerous.”

Vaas’ eyes widened at Celestia’s explanation about the cuffs, and now he desperately tried to remove them. He tried to break them by pulling them apart, by smashing his hands against the floor, by biting in the foul tasting metal, but nothing was working, there wasn’t even a scratch. He looked back up and saw the white horse’s horn lighting up. He hung his head and said with a sigh, “Ah fuck.”

Not a second later, he could feel the electricity flowing through him. It started at his ankles and wrists but soon spread to the rest of his body. It wasn’t as painful as getting shot, but it certainly wasn’t a comfortable feeling. It felt like a hundred needle stab at once, it was that quick of apain because after two seconds it was already gone, and he was now breathing deeply.

Over the whole two seconds, Twilight’s expression had changed to a horrified one, she just couldn’t comprehend that her kind mentor could do that to anypony, not even if it was dangerous. “Princess, isn’t this... a drastic measure? It’s just so unethical.”

The Princess nodded, and she produced a sad, small smile, trying to comfort Twilight a bit. “I know, and I normally wouldn’t do it, but Anastacia told me about him, and I want to protect you. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I once lost somepony dear to me, I don’t want it to happen again,” She could feel her eyes producing some tears, but she held them back and hid it behind her regal façade. “I know this is rather immoral, but it’s for your own good.”

Twilight gave her mentor a warm smile, one that said she didn’t have to worry. She appreciated what the Princess did to ensure her safety, even if it was unethical. She trotted to her mentor and gave her a nuzzle, which the Princess gladly returned. “Thank you, I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

The Princess stopped nuzzling and looked at her student. She was one of the most powerful unicorns in the country, and she one of the smartest; Twilight was going to be alright, of that she was sure. She left her student and began to walk to Vaas who was recovering from the shock. “I’m sorry, but I know you’re too dangerous to walk loose. Maybe, when my students deems you kind enough for our society, and you don’t go on a killing spree at the first opportunity you get, she might open your cuffs and allow you to be free again, but until that time you have to be cuffed. Like I said, you’re too dangerous.” It was her attempt at an apology, but Vaas didn’t accept it, as he was glaring daggers at her.

Of course he was glaring at her, an apology was a sign of weakness, and a perfect ruler shouldn’t be weak. The perfect ruler, according to him, would take everything he wanted without caring about anyone else, like he did when he was the king of Rook Island. It was his island, so people had to live by his rules. “Screw your apology, I’ll still do what I want, and some cuffs won’t change my lifestyle.”

Celestia knew that Vaas wasn’t going to change just like that, it was going to take time and a lot of work, but she was sure Twilight could accomplish the most difficult task she had ever faced. “Still, you’re going to do one thing for me, there’s no arguing about that. You’ll send me a friendship report once a week, and in said friendship report, you’ll describe your adventures here in Equestria and what you’ve learned. That way I can monitor your progress.” She had a firm tone in her voice that showed Vaas she wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Hey, whatever floats your boat,” he said casually. He was just trying to get on her nerves, that way she would go insane, and she would send him back to Rook Island. It was the perfect plan, but she seemed like she was made of steel, nothing could pierce her armor and hurt her right in her feelings. It was a lost cause, and he knew it. He had a little bit of respect for her stoic attitude, he didn’t meet many people like that.

“Well then, I think it’s time you and Twilight go, the train to Ponyville will depart soon,” She placed Vaas on his feet with her magic, and he was slightly startled that he was once again trapped by magic and this time floating. He knew this wasn’t the last strange thing he would see. Who knows, maybe he would see more freakier than on Rook Island.

Celestia slowly pushed him with her magic to Twilight, who took a step back when she saw the human walking towards her and showing his canines. Now she knew that he had to be an omnivore or carnivore, but he was going to eat vegetables, whether he wanted to or not. She began to calm herself, the Princess was right, nothing could happen to her as long as Vaas had those cuffs on. By now he stood in front of her, and she had to look up to see his predatory gaze, one that said that she wasn’t safe as long as he was with her. He was like a giant, ready to squash her under his shoe like an annoying bug. She suppressed that thought by thinking about her friends, and she knew that they would help her with the monster she had to tame.

He stared at her, and she stared back. He could feel that she was terrified, and he liked that because he was going to make that purple mare’s nightmare come true. He was going to torture her, not physically, because his cuffs prevented that, but mentally. He would even haunt her in her dreams, she would never be safe, and in the end she would beg for him to end her life. It was the perfect plan, and he would enjoy every minute of it. After a few seconds, he spoke, “Purple mare.”

Twilight needed a moment to find her courage, and when she finally found it in the depths of her mind, she glared at him. “This purple mare has a name, you know. It’s Twilight,” She disliked it that ponies gave her nicknames, just like she disliked Rainbow calling her ‘egghead’. A fascination for books didn’t make her an egghead.

He gave her a taunting grin. “Still purple mare to me,” Phase one of his plan was getting on her nerves, but slowly, like a disease slowly spreading through a body. He was going to be the purple mare’s cancer and in the end, he would kill her.

Twilight didn’t have a response ready and looked at his cuffs. Instantly, she had a comeback. “Well, then I guess I’ll call you Pet since you’re cuffed, and I’m supposed to fix you,” She followed up with a grin.

Vaas debated with himself, and the way he saw it, he had two options. Either he continued calling Twilight ‘purple mare’ and face humiliation by being called Pet, or just call her Twilight. He chose the one that was best for him. “Twilight, it is,” he said, cursing that the purple mare had thwarted his plan. Still, the war was far from over, he would find other ways to get on her nerves, and then he could begin phase two of his plan, pushing her into a depression.

Twilight nodded at him, waved goodbye to her mentor, who did the same, and began to trot to the throne room doors. Vaas stood still for a moment, looked at the Princess, who nodded to him, and he began to follow. He began to feel for an object in his shoe, but apparently his knife was gone, probably taken by the ponies. One part of his mind anticipated what this world would throw at him, while the other just wanted to go back to his own world. He sighed and shook his head. This is insanity.

Celestia saw the doors close behind her, and she too shook her head. I have a bad feeling about this. Be safe, Twilight. Be safe.

Author's note box doesn't want to work. (Piece of shit)

A/N: There, the rewrite. I hope this satisfies you. If not... Well, too bad because I’m not gonna change it again. Are you not entertained? Is this not why you’re here?! I made Vaas human, and I made it slightly darker (Vaas’ plan to kill Twilight) to have more cohesion with Vaas’ unpredictable character. It’s not going to be too dark.

Big thanks to my editors/proofreaders: Cheese Bread Eddy, Pacific Penguin, NeoAlicornofTwilight, Uber_Shy, Daetrin, and Arkenai.

E/N: The second half of the chapter was much better than the first half was originally. Just a bit of awkward phrasing, but not as many actual errors as before, so good job!

Take a look at this. (Created for me by RainbowBob)