Friendship Is Weird

by butboifranko

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3146

Twilight Sparkle had always studied new subjects from books in her Library or subjects from Princess Celestia, but one day she ran out of books and was bored out of her mind. She goes out to Rainbow Dash to find something to do, but Rainbow suggests a new subject; dating.

Published 2012-12-23 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-23 23:20:01 UTC

PLEASE READ

*Before Reading: Please take in consideration that the characters in this story are out of their canon characteristics at times. This was intended. If you don’t approve of this, don’t read and complain about it. If you want to read: Go right ahead, and enjoy the story, this was written for fun. Thank you.*

-DolphinBuster

Chapter One

Ponyville was a small village located somewhere in the glorious and magical land of Equestria. Amongst the random clusters of ponies roaming the usually normal and calm village, lived six friends. But amongst those six friends was Twilight Sparkle stood over her studies in Ponyville Library. Studying was a fond habit that the unicorn always enjoyed experiencing in her spare time, which for some reason; she had awful lot of. Which was quite sad. Twilight could be quite angst at times, and occasionally she’d get a huge mood swap and would be lively, energetic, and the complete opposite of angst.

The lavender unicorn scribbled down notes on a piece of parchment. For once, she had no clue what she was studying. It had come to a point where she had finally read just about every book in her Library, and had run out of things to read and experiment with. Also with no new deliveries of no books for a whole week, it only worsened the situation.

Sadly, the unicorn rested her head on the table and let out a loud sigh. Twilight Sparkle was bored out of her pony mind.

She considered going out into the open and looking around for one of her friends. Perhaps, Pinkie Pie, who Twilight had claimed to be one of her bestest friends, though she had no idea what the pink pony would be talking about half the time she spent with her. Then she thought of Rarity. A fellow unicorn, yes. But sadly Rarity was a bit too…fancy per say for a bookworm like Twilight. They had little to talk about, considering their different interests. Rarity was almost immediately crossed out of Twilight's mental list of ponies, and so was Pinkie Pie.

Next was Applejack, a strong farm pony that was almost constantly bucking apple trees, and today was Wednesday; meaning Applejack was bucking apples. So she crossed her off the mental list too. The only two ponies that remained were Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash never really seemed to be doing anything of importance to Twilight, so without too much hesitation, Twilight closed the random books that were sprawled across the table, and headed out to search for the cyan pegasus.

Twilight stopped at the door, “Wait a minute, I forgot about Fluttershy! I can’t forget her.” The unicorn thought for a moment, considering if she should go and visit. After about a minute, she giggled, “Oh…I’ll um, see her later. She’s probably tending her animals friends anyway.”

With her decision confirmed, she continued her way out the door.

In the cerulean sky flew the radical Rainbow Dash, the fasted flier in all of Equestria, and the awesomeness mare that ever lived (to her at least). Twilight watched the cyan pegasus do loop de loops and spirals through the sky, obviously practicing to become a Wonderbolt. Which was all Rainbow ever practiced for. Unless she was really bored, and just felt like flying. But other than that, it was to become a Wonderbolt one day…or for what ever her reasons were. Twilight had forgotten mostly because she didn't give a buck.

Sure it was Rainbow’s dream, but after hearing her constantly talk about it and how awesome the Wonderbolts are, Twilight had become agitated of just thinking about Rainbow’s dream.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash. Down here!” Twilight shouted out to the pegasus.

Rainbow looked down below her and chuckled from above, “Oh hey there Twilight. What’s up?” The pegasus flew down to the ground and landed in front of Twilight.

“Nothing actually, that’s why I was looking for you.”

“Why? Did the egghead run out of books to read?” Rainbow laughed at her own joke, as Twilight rolled her eyes, even though that was the case.

“Actually yes. I did run out of books in my Library, and now I don’t have anything to study until I get a new assignment from Princess Celestia, or until some tragedy comes across Ponyville.”

Rainbow Dash looked up at the sky and nodded, “I see…have you ever thought of maybe, studying something that wasn't in your Library?”

Twilight blinked and shook her head, “No. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Well…” The cyan pegasus put her hoof to her muzzle and began to think. After a minute she let out a ‘gasp!’

“Hey I just got this totally awesome thought Twilight. Wait. Have you ever studied, dating?”

The lavender unicorn thought over all the topics she had studied in the past, and realized that she hadn’t. Twilight shook her head, “No…I haven’t. But it’s a very good idea Rainbow, just…where would I even start? I’d need to make a checklist and make prepar-”

Rainbow cut her off, “Don’t worry about that Twilight. All you need is to find a pony to experiment on. Like, I dunno…a date!”

Twilight scrunched up her muzzle and shook her head, “Rainbow a study can never go well if you don’t plan it out first, and you have to make sure you have the right attributes.”

“Well, Twilight. Dating is different. I’ll tell you what you need don’t worry abo-.”

The unicorn cut her of as she giggled, “No offence Rainbow, but what do you know about dating, or even romance? I’d have a better chance of this turning out right with Rarity explaining the matter.”

Rainbow gasped, “Hey! I do too know about romance, and stuff. Who are you to say that I know nothing on the matter. At least I’ve had marefriends, and maybe even one coltfriend. From what I’ve heard, you haven’t even had your first kiss!”

It was Twilights turn to gasp, “Excuse me!? Who, what…who told you such a thing!”

“No one,” Rainbow coursed her hoof through her mane, “It’s obvious Twilight. You always hold back from talking during our get togethers with the rest of the gals. Not to mention you’re kind of angst all the time…heck, even Fluttershys got some pretty good stories about her love life!”

“Ha. Yeah, not to mention that you were in most of them. Meaning that she’s only dated one pony. And I am NOT angst all the time!” Twilight shot back.

“Um. So what? And that’s one pony more than you’ve ever had,” The pegasus snorted, “At least Fluttershys got some action, unlike you. And yeah yeah, you‘re not angst all the time. Whatever!”

Okay, this is getting too far. Twilight thought to herself.

“Alright, alright. I’ve never been with anypony. Lets go back to subject at hoof, okay?”

Rainbow Dash sighed, “Yeah ok. So, do you want to hear what I have to say?”

Twilight nodded, “I’m all ears Rainbow.”

“Alright. To save time, I’ll be your date for the experiment, ‘cause I got stuff to do; and looking for a pony to date you is going to take forever. Okay?”

Twilight felt a little insulted but nodded nonetheless.

“There. That’s all you need.” Rainbow concluded.

Twilight blinked, "Well that's less steps than I expected there'd be.”

Rainbow nodded, “Yep. Now we just do stuff that ponies would usually do on a date, but sadly I never actually been on a legit date. So, we should go ask Rarity or something.”

“Sounds like a plan, but Rainbow?”

“Yeah, ‘Twi?” The cyan mare responded, as she scratched her ear with her back hoof.

“How have you never been on a legit date, but you said that you've had more than one relationship?”

The pegasus smirked as she got off the ground and onto all four, “I don’t need dates to have a good time Twilight.” Rainbow walked up to Twilight and brushed up against her, making the unicorn freeze up. Dash came back to Twilight’s ear and continued, “Now come on. Lets head over to Rarity’s boutique.”

Twilight caught a glimpse of Rainbows flank as she trotted forward, as if the mischievous mare was doing so on purpose. Twilight looked away from her friends rump and followed her friend to Rarity's boutique.

Chapter Two

The two mares trotted along the path to Rarity’s Boutique as the sun striked at their colorful coats with it’s warmth, making the two mares sweat as they continued the walk through town. Rainbow Dash was airborne, mumbling to herself about flying and how totally awesome the Wonderbolts were. Twilight did nothing but trot, and think.

All she could think about was this whole experiment, and how strange it was. She hadn't mentioned it to Rainbow when they had agreed to do it, and she agreed mostly because it gave her something to do while waiting for a new shipping of books to come in from Canterlot. Since she was the only one that ever read a book from the Library. The other inhabitants of Ponyville, or even visitors, barely ever read anything that Ponyville Library had to offer. Why did they back away from the power of knowledge? Why didn't they take the chance and learn something new? NO. Instead they’d rather go out with their colt or marefriends, or just friends in particular, and live their life to the fullest.

Twilight grinded her teeth at just the thought of it. Reading books of all genres, and studying as many topics she could get a grasp on, had practically in scripted itself into her life. It meant a big deal to her, and it saddened her spirit to know that somepony out there thought it didn’t matter.

Not to mention this topic; dating? Twilight had never had a coltfriend, or even…a marefriend. And why did Rainbow offer to be her “date”? She announced it so sudden too, she even brought up the fact that she believed that they wouldn’t be able to find anyone to go on a date with her. Didn’t the pegasus have any valid points to support her statement, or was she too lazy to do even that?

But, for some strange reason…Twilight didn’t feel any negatively toward the thought of Rainbow being her “date.” Why was it that she felt almost, flattered?

“Hey Egghead! Snap out of it, we’re here!” The cocky mare exclaimed, drawing Twilight out of her head.

“Th-that was fast,” The unicorn paused, “Lets see if she’s home.”

Twilight went up to the door and knocked with a firm hoof.

She waited for the sound of hooves coming to the door, but when nothing was heard, she knocked again.

“Ugh. She’s probably caught up with her stupid fabric! Let’s just go inside. It is a public place, ya know.” Rainbow explained as she went ahead of Twilight and opened the door, avoiding the chance of listening to the unicorn’s opinion. She wanted to get this out of the way, as soon as possible, or at least… that’s what she tried to demonstrate.

Dash strut herself with confidence into the Carousel Boutique. The entrance was lightened with rays of sunlight from the windows, as bright colors were displayed in different locations of the room. The sunlight piercing through the windows made the multicoloured fabrics burst out with intensity. Green, purple, red, snow white, yellow and more made the room painted with colourful fashion.

When the two mares saw no trace of Rarity in the entrance, they made their way to her Inspiration Room, also known as her Work Room. Apparently, the tidiest pony in all of Ponyville was inspired by mess.

As Rainbow and Twilight drew closer to her room, they began to hear music. When they were finally at the door, they heard music, but also singing.

Dash smirked at Twilight as she quietly opened the door, as a blast of music poured out.

“You're insecure, don't know what for, you're turning heads when you trot through the door, don't need make-up, to cover up, being the way that you are is enough,” Rarity was singing beautifully along with the radio as she worked on a dress. Rainbow had already entered a fit of muted giggles, Twilight was holding back.

Then the chorus came on.

“Baby you light up my world like nopony else! The way that you flip your mane gets me overwhelmed. The way you stare at the ground it hard to tell, you don’t know, oh oh, you don’t know you’re beautiful-”

Rarity began dancing across the room squealing like a little school filly, as the two mares hiding behind her door were laughing uncontrollably at the scene displayed before them. Never in their life had they seen Rarity out of her, classy state. Well except maybe one or two times, but this was impossible not to laugh at it!

“Hey there, Rarity.” Dash blurted out in between laughs.

The marshmallow coated mare stopped dancing, and turned around to see the two mares laughing their flanks off. Rarity blushed uncontrollably, opening her mouth to say something, but nothing came through. Until she swallowed,

“Wh-at? What in Celestia’s mane are you do-ing here? Haven’t you heard of knocking!?” The unicorn stuttered out with anger, still covering her face with her hoof to hide her intensifying blush.

Twilight made her way into the room, having had controlled her laughter. “Sorry Rarity, we just need to ask you about something.”

Rarity scoffed. “That is not a valid reason to barge into a pony’s home, Twilight.”

“Oh my gosh Rarity, that song is totally un rainbow!” Exclaimed the now hovering cyan pegasus, as she rolled her eyes before continuing, “The Wonderbolts are way better singers!”

“Rainbow Dash, that doesn’t even make any sense. ‘That song is totally un rainbow'? Honestly darling, you could try harder than that. Not to mention the Wonderbolts don’t even sing…and I’m sure they’d sound atrocious.” The blanc unicorn shot back.

Twilight stood between them, watching the two ponies fight back and forth about who was the better artist. One Direction, and the Wonderbolts. Mother of Celestia…

“-Not to mention that the sun follows them where ever they go! Haven’t you ever noticed how their eyes are always squinting when they take a picture? The Wonderbolts surely don’t have the sun following them, they’re the ones that follow the sun.” Rarity concluded her statement of why One Direction was better. Rainbow Dash’s face showed nothing but disgust.

“Well excuse me, PRINCESS. Oh wait. You’re not a princess…UGH, whatever. Thing is that the Wonderbolts could kick One Directions scrawny flanks. I bet if they even came close to the awesomeness of the Wonderbolts, they’d explode due to overexposure to pure radicalness!”

Rarity raised any eyebrow and sighed, “You’re making up words again Rainbow Dash. Radicalness is not a word, and don’t even GO THERE! Of course the Wonderbolts are strong due to their mass amount of training and expertise on flying, but One Direction have some muscles. And here is my proof!”

Before Rainbow Dash could say anything, a poster was shoved in her face. On the poster was a pony with a shaggy mane. She looked at it with disgust and noticed some muscles.

Twilight Sparkle had face hoofed through the past ten minutes that had pasted. This was seriously going way too far, “Girls!”

Rarity and Rainbow turned their attention to the annoyed lavender unicorn. They realized what they were doing, and Rarity grinned sheepishly, while Rainbow Dash mutter something inaudible.

“Alright. So Rarity, Rainbow and myself came by to ask you about dating.” Twilight explained as quickly as possible, now wanting to just get it over with and start the experiment.

A gasp came from Rarity, “Are you two dating now?” She asked with excitement.

“No. Rainbow is helping me with an experiment on dating. We aren’t…a couple or anything.” Twilight explained with a lump in her throat, for some odd reason. She had no idea why that question affected her so much.

“You’re experimenting on dating?” Rarity paused and thought it over before continuing, “I don’t really agree with this experiment of yours Twilight, but I’ll be willing to answer your questions.”

Twilight was confused that Rarity didn’t agree with them, and was curious to know her reasons, “Why don’t you agree with the experiment Rarity?”

“We don’t fiddle around with dating Twilight. Dating leads to love, and we certainly do not, and I mean never, play around love. It’s a very touchy subject, and a pony can get hurt.” Rarity explained, drifting her eyes toward Rainbow as she said her last few words, gaining a glance back from the pegasus, but being abandon almost immediately.

Twilight didn’t acknowledge it. “I understand Rarity, but I guarantee nothing will go wrong.” Twilight turned to face the now quiet pegasus, “Right, Rainbow?” She received a shaky nod. Weird.

Rarity bit her lip, “If you say so Twilight. Now, what is it you and Rainbow wanted to ask?”

“We were wondering what exactly ponies do on dates.” Twilight replied.

“Anything, really. You can go and see a movie, a walk through the park, have a picnic, go on a romantic dinner, which I prefer myself…and much more. It all depends on what kind of personality the ponies have, and what they’re willing to do with each other. You just have to talk with each other on what you and Rainbow would like to do together.”

Twilight thought it over in her head, and got the idea. “Oh, alright. So it just depends on what activities will match with our different personalities and interests. I understand, how about you Rainbow?”

Rainbow Dash nodded, “Yeah I got it. Dashing clear!”

Rarity shook her head, but smiled nonetheless. “Anything else you would like to know Twilight?”

The lavender unicorn shook her head, “Nope, that’s all we were uncertain about. Thank you very much Rarity, but Rainbow and me should get going now; we have a lot of work to do!”

Rarity nodded, “Of course. You two go a long now. I have work to get done anyway, and good luck with your experiment!” She turned to Rainbow and smiled, as the pegasus let a smirk creep onto her face.

“Come on Rainbow, we got a lot of work to do!” Twilight exclaimed as she lead the way out of Rarity’s Boutique.

“I’m coming ‘Twi!” Rainbow shouted back as she dashed through the doors and raced after the galloping unicorn.

Once the cyan mare got outside and continued her flight along with Twilight, she flew overhead of Twilight slowly, keeping pace with the not very active unicorn. They made their way to Ponyville Library to start planning their date for the experiment.

Hopefully nothing will get weird.

Author's Note

I'm on Dash's side on that argument. eheh.