Once upon a time, you were a pegasus stallion in Canterlot. Not just a pegasus, but a mechanic! Having just left home in search of avoiding your restrictive parents, you live in the most expensive city in the nation. You're a poor underachiever who wants nothing more than to get paid ludicrous amounts of bits and enjoy a pint of beer at the pub. One drunken night you manage to get your feathery self into a heap of trouble surrounding a barrel of apples, an airship, the Elements of Harmony, and their 'leader': Captain Twilight Sparkle.

Will you survive a crew of six mares and a baby dragon mistreating an airship into disrepair while riding it?
Will you find out why Princess Celestia is so concerned about a tiny mountainous nation?
Will Twilight Sparkle ever open up to you?
Will you ever manage to pay your landlady after being gone for this misadventure?

Find out the answers to these questions and more inside!

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Second person shipfic between OC and Twilight.
Teen rating for language, sarcastic narrative, and blatant use of alcohol throughout.
Comments are appreciated as much as favorites.