Blood Sistersby The Psychotic BronyChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 1By Blood By The Psychotic Brony Chapter 1 Derpy Hooves had her work cut out for her: 50 tons of bowling balls to be delivered to the Ponyville Bowling Alley. She was half way there when she felt a feeling that she did not count on: She had to sneeze! As the feeling increased, she put more and more effort into holding the urge back, (a talent she had been working on since she got fired from the weather factory for sneezing in the rain machine and spreading pneumonia throughout Equestria). After a seemingly endless battle, her urge to sneeze just faded away. "Woohoo!" she cheered out to no one imparticular. However, after 5 seconds, followed by seeing the bag of bowling balls falling to the heavens below, she realized cheering might not have been a good idea. The last thing Twilight Sparkle remembered when waking up in the hospital bed was looking up, while on her way to the hospital to see if the doctor had something for her recent headaches, and seeing a bag with the words, "To: Big Lebowski's Bowling Alley" printed on it. After she regained a substantial amount of her senses, she noticed a brown unicorn stallion wearing a doctors uniform, holding a cane, and wih a capital H within a thin box as his cutie mark, carrying a wheel barrow with a shovel and a canister of gasoline. He then noticed she was awake. "Oh, Miss Sparkle!" He said before kicking the wheel barrow out of the room, "you're ali- I mean... awake!" "Whuhh..." Twilight muttered, "what happened?" "Now just calm down, I'm Doctor Horse," (He looks at the screen) "M.D." (looks back), "You've just suffered a minor bowling ball incident and your in the hospital." "Bowling Ball inccident?" asked Twlight. "Yes," explained Horse, "Every bone in your body was crushed by a falling sack of bowling balls" "What!?!" Twilight cried in shock, "How is that minor!?! Are they okay!?!" "Oh yes, the bowling balls are fine" said Horse, "we donated them to the children's intensive care ward." "No, I mean my bones!" Exclaimed Twilight, angrily. "Oh yes!, Your bones are fine. As soon as we stitched you're limbs back together they were quite easy to fix," said Horse. "You had to stitch me together!?!" Twilight said, very close to fainting again. "Oh it was easier than it seems," explained Horse, "The hard part has finding a bicycle pump that could unflatten you're body parts." Upon hearing that, Twilight was on the verge of passing out in her bed when Dr. Horse levitated a check board in front of him. "...And it seems that the blood transfusion was a success," he said. "Blood transfusion?" Twilight asked. "Ah yes," said Horse "You see, by our third attempt at reconstructing you, you had lost a large amount of blood..." As he was saying this a pony wearing a doctors outfit with his or her face covered walked into the room. "But we managed to find a suitable blood donor for you just in the nick of time!" finished Horse. "Who?" asked Twilight. Right after Twilight said that, the mysterious pony in the doctors outfit ripped the entire suit off, revealing herself to be none other than Pinkie Pie. Pinkie immediately screamed, "HI BLOOD SISTER!!!" scaring everyone in the room, including the elderly earth pony in the bed next to twilight, causing her to die from a heart attack. "Pinkie Pie?" said Twilight, "What are you doing here? And where did you get that doctors uniform?" "Simple! I knocked out a doctor with a baseball bat, hid her in a bush, stole her clothes, and now here I am!" Pinkie said in her typically festive tone. "Why!?!" Twilight asked, horrified. "To surprise you silly!" Pinkie responded. Before Twilight could say that she was the devil, Dr. Horse spoke up, "The only pony in Ponyville we could find with your blood type was Pinkie Pie here, and she happily volunteered herself for the blood transfusion." "Gee," said Twiight, "I don't know what to say. Thanks Pinkie." "Anything for a BLOOD SISTER!" Pinkie Exclaimed, violently hugging Twilight. "Yeah, Okay." Said Twilight, deciding to humor Pinkie. "Now about you're headaches," Dr. Horse cut in, "turns out you had a brain-devouring parasite that would've killed you in minutes," Twilight was stunned and horrified at this news "luckily it was squeezed out of your head when you were flattened." Twilight was deeply relieved, but still tense. "Any who," He said, levitating a capsul of pills over to Twilight, "you should be out of here by tomorrow. After that, for a few weeks you should get a good 12 hours of sleep a day, take two of these pills every night, and be sure to eat regularly. " A few seconds after he said that, two orderlies came into the room and said to Dr. Horse, "Hey! What are you doing out of your padded room!?!" "Good day Twilight!" Dr. Horse quickly said before jumping out of the near by window. Since she usually conducts her studies in her basement laboratory, stocked with hazardous and explosive chemicals, Twilights had the way from the hospital to her home memorized by heart (especially thanks to Pinkie Pie's inconvenient surprise visits). That night she tiredly made her way through the streets of Ponyville, with a bandage from her blood transfusion wrapped around her left hoof (which somehow hadn't healed as miraculously fast as ther limb stitches), with Pinkie Pie bouncing in tow. When they were half way through their route, Pinkie was only 1/20th of her way through talking about Twilight being her new "blood-sister." "-And then we can do each others hooves, stay up late watching scary movies, write our memoirs together, draw pictures, talk about our days! I saw a rabbit this morning! I named him sugar, because he was white! Maybe I should have named him bubbles? Because there were bubbles coming out of his mouth! I loved sitting there with him making bubbles come out of my mouth! He also had the most adorable red eyes! He looked like he had got into Spikes stash! Oh, Shoot, he told me not to tell you about that! Think he'll be mad? I should throw him an I'm sorry party! That always fixes everything! Except when my parents kicked me off the rock farm. I wonder how they're doing? I should probably write them. Except they told me never to write to them. Should I call them instead? E-mail? Lipstick on the mirror? Mabye I should-" "Pinkie!" Twilight interrupted once they had arrived at her library, "I'd love to continue this interesting conversation but I really need to get some shut eye" "Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie replied as Twilight entered her home and closed the door. As Twilight walked up the stairs to her bed she could hear her pink friend bouncing away from her house shouting "Goodnight, Blood-Sister!!!" The next morning, Twilight and her dragon assistant, Spike were going about the library doing their half-monthly re-shelving. As Twilight stood atop her ladder nestling "The Evolution of the Equestrian Plumbing System" with the rest of her extensive collection, she noticed Spike staring at her with a strange sense of curiosity. "Is something wrong, Spike?" She asked "Huh?" answered Spike, "oh, nothing! I was just... wondering is all..." "Wondering what?" asked Twilight. "What it must be like" "What what must be like?" "You know... To have the blood of Pinkamena Diane Pie flowing through your veins?" "Uuuuuhg...," Sighed Twilight, coming down from the ladder, "I already had to hear this "blood-sister" crap from Pinkie, don't you start." "I'm just sayin," Spike stated defensively, "This is Pinkie Pie's blood we are talking about! A pony who once inexplicably gained the ability to walk on water because she saw a cupcake floating in the middle of the lake. A pony who falls asleep to "Who Let the Diamond Dogs Out" at max volume every night. And, A pony who can pull a cannon, full of confetti, out of nowhere! Plus, I think her blood might be tainted with pixie-sticks!" "Spike," said Twilight reassuringly, "you're letting your imagination get the better of you. I'm fine, nothing is going to happen to me, and their is absolutly nothing wrong with Pinkie's blood." "Okay...!," replied Spike sarcasticly as he walked upstairs, "whatever you say...!" Once Spike was out of view, Twilight shrugged the conversation off and went about her re-shelving. Twilights eyes twitched open as the first signs of morning crept through her window and hit her face. She lazily slid out of her bed and quietly made her way to the bathroom, as not to wake up Spike. When she reached her sink she slowly turned on the water and splashed some in her face. As soon as she had rinsed the salt from her eyes, she looked into the mirror, but it wasn't her reflection she saw, it was Pinkies. This caused her to scream, and she continued to scream as she woke up in her bed from her nightmare, causing Spike to also wake up screaming "Oh Spike," Twilight said between breaths, "I didn't mean to wake you, I just had a nightmare." "Really? I had a nightmare too!" Spike said with angry sarcasm, "Where you caused me to wet the damn bed!" Spike then grabbed his blanket got out of his bed. "Come on Blanky...," He said walking out the door. Chapter 2Chapter 2 The next morning, Spike was coming up the stairs from the basement, blanky in hand, and rubbing his back, which was completely out of alignment due to sleeping on the hard basement floor. When he got to the main floor he made his way to the kitchen. "Ugh...," He moaned, "my back is killing me. Nothing a little Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sized tub of Brayskin Robin's Ice Cream can't solve." As he opened the door he said to himself, "I just hope Twilight doesn- HOLY SHIT!!!" It was the sight of Twilight at the table, half-asleep, mane a complete mess, and halfway through her 38th tub of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxed-Sized tub of Brayskins Robin's Ice Cream, that made Spike jump (and also, snap his spine back into place). Quickly, he went up to Twilight and tried to get her attention. However, she was in so deep in her state between awake and asleep that she didn't respond to any of his calls or hand-gestures, and simply kept scooping up ice-cream into her mouth.. Eventually, he left the room. Seconds later he came back with a bucket full of ice-cold water and dunked it all upon Twilight, immediately snapping her out of her trance. After a few seconds of coughing and spitting, she yelled, "Spike! *phhht!* What the hell!?!" "What is this!?!" Spike replied angrily, gesturing to the 37 empty Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sized tubs of Brayskin Robin's Ice Cream piled in the corner. "Oh that..." admitted Twilight, "I got a little hungry from all those nightmares of Pinkie, so I thought I'd come down and make myself a quick late-night snack." "Uuuuhhh..." said Spike ''I'd hardly call it "Midnight.""" "What do you mean?" asked Twilight as she watched spike walk over to the closed curtains. Spike then swung the curtains open,Twilight shielded her eyes the bright morning sun shown upon her ice-cream colored face as if Celestia herself had just appeared before her. When her eyes adjusted to the light and she saw the sun clearly for the first time that day, her jaw dropped. "Spike...?" she asked nervously, "how long was I up?" "Well," Spike replied, "I can't count very well, but judging the number of bags under your eyes, I'd say you've been awake for about 8 hours." "8 HOURS!?!" replied Twilight, "Well what time is it now!?!" "8:47" said Spike. "Oh horseapples, i'm going to be late!" exclaimed Twilight. She then zoomed out of the kitchen, leaving a discarded tub of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sized Brayskin Robin's Ice Cream spinning on the table, and out the front door, at amazing speed.After she left, Spike watched from the inside of the door. "Hmmm," He said to himself, "Twilight's never run that fast before..." In a few seconds, an expression of realization came upon Spike's face and he turned his head over to Owlicious. "It's beginning..." Spike said. "Hoot-hoot-hoooooooooot..." replied Owlicious. Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was was leaning on the side of the barn waiting for Twilight to come and help her fertilize the west field. Soon, something caught her eye on one of the near fields. As she squinted on the subject, she made it out to be a bright purple blur, and it was heading straight for her! As it got closer, she slowly and nervously put herself in a protective stance. Once the blur came directly in front of her, it came to a direct halt, and revealed it to be a very out of breath Twilight Sparkle, with one peculiar feature. "I am sooooo, sorry I'm late, Applejack!" Twilight said as Applejack simply stared at her, "I didn't get much sleep, and I had very little time to get ready and-" "Uuuhh..., Twilight?" Applejack interrupted. "Yeah?" Twilight asked. "Yer hair..." Applejack said "What about it?" asked Twilight "Well, uh... How do I put this..." Applejack pondered on how to put this, reached into a pile of hay and pulled out one of the mirrors that Pinkie Pie had stashed all over Ponyville in case of "Mirror Emergency, "Take a look for yerself..." When Twilight looked in the mirror, she saw that her mane and tail had taken on Pinkie Pie's poofy shape. This caused her to scream, which in turn caused Applejack to scream, which in turn caused Granny Smith to run out of the farm house with a rifle screaming and firing a warning shot at the air, which in turn caused Twilight and Applejack to scream at her, which in turn caused Granny Smith to scream at them. A little while later, Twilight and Applejack were walking toward the west field talking. "...And now she thinks I'm her new "blood sister"" said Twilight. "Yeah, She been trottin' all 'round town since last night announcin' it to the whole of Ponyville. She's even invited everyone to a "Blood Sister" party tonight," Applejack answered. "That sounds like Pinkie," Twilight said. "Surely it can't have anything to do with this" She said, gesturing at her hair. "Ah dunno sugarcube," said Applejack, "there's only one one pony in history 'sides you and Pinkie Pie who ever ate 37 and a half tubs of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sahzed Brahyskin Robin's Ahce Cream" "Really?" asked Twilight, "what happened to him?" "Grampy died" stated Applejack. "Oh my!" said Twilight. Pretty soon, the two friends had arrived at the west fields. "Welp, here we are!" said Applejack, "got the fertilizer?" "sure do!" said Twilight levitating two large sacks, "Can you believe some countries actually believe we make fertilizer "ourselves?"" "Ah mean, seriously!?!" said Applejack, "Who would start a rumor like dat?" They then looked up to the heavens for a few seconds with a look of curiosity on both their faces. Afterwards, they shook the whole subject off and went about their business. "Hokay," said Applejack, "ya'll start on dat side and ah'll start on dis side. An ya'll careful with dat fertalahzar. Fluttershy's animals worked vary hard to make dat!" "Okie-Dokie-Lokie!" said Twilight before walking off to her side of the field, leaving behind a very puzzled Applejack. After about 30 minutes of fertilizing crops and thinking about the fact that without telekinesis, Applejack has to handle the fertilizer with her mouth, boredom started to overtake her. In an effort to beat out her boredom, she started skipping. Not long after, that skipping escalated into full-out hopping, with sound effects to go with it. Pretty soon she started humming Pinkie's "Cupcake SOng". The sound of her whistling instantly gained the attention of some of the farm animals. As soon as Twilight's humming increased into loud whistling, farm animals of all sorts were following her like a marching band. Soon enough, she had started singing the song in words and the animals following her had starting their respective animal noises in sync. Applejack had just finished her side of the field and was checking up on Twilight to see what was taking her so long with her unfinished side of the field. "Hmmm, ah, wonder what's got Twilight's tail in a tangle." Applejack said to herself, "You'd think someone as organized as her would be on ti-" Applejack stopped dead at her tracks when she saw Twilight and half of the animals on the farm just finishing up a super-elaborate choreography to the "Cupcake Song" that would have normally taken 6 months to produce (or probably just 2, thanks to modern animation). Once the song was finished, and the animals went back to their normal lives, Twilight, still in her finishing pose, realized what she was doing and looked at Applejack with a confused, shocked, and anxious face, one of which Applejack returned. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Twilight spoke up. "Uhhhhhhhh...," She said, "I... gotta... go." She then rushed out of the farmlands with the same speed she had come in with, leaving a very bewildered Applejack just staring at her vapor-trail. Chapter 3Chapter 3 Later that evening, Twilight was sitting at one of the tables outside of Starbucks, directly under the sign with a double-tailed sea pony, completely bewildered at her behavior at Sweet Apple Acres. She was talking with some random stallion who was sitting with her at the table. "So then next thing I knew," she said, "there were instrumentals coming out of nowhere, and I knew the lyrics to this random Maredonna song that I barely know the lyrics to. Since I woke up this morning, I have felt huge periods of hyper-activity, massive exuberance, large cravings, ... And I just realised that coffee isn't the best remedy for that...." "I feel like I'm turning into someone else." She continued. "I think I know what you're talking about," said the stallion, "Ever since I was attacked by thet timberwolf a few days back, i've been having nightmares of running through a dark forest and waking up with blood in mouth." "I just hope the mayor's new security measures will be enough to keep everypony safe from that mad timberwolf that has been killing ponies around 329, Bridle Street," said Twilight. "Me too," said the stallion, "That's where I live." Afterward, Twilight was walking across the street toward her home trying to put the events of earlier today out of her, when her tail started twitching uncontrollably, almost knocking her over. When she regained her balance, She looked back at her shaking appendage. When she attemped to hold it with her hooves, It quickly dodged her grasp. She then tried to catch it again and again. After a few failed attemps, she became quite annoyed, and became more persistant in her chase. Within a few seconds, she looked like a dog chasing her tail. Over at the side of the street, a colt and his mother were just staring quizzically at this strange occurrence.. "Mommy," he said pointing, "isn't that the town librarian?" HIs mother then nervously led him away. Soon, Twilight had run out of breath and gave up on her pursuit. While she was almost done catching her breath, she was caught off-guard by Pinkie Pie, Landing right on top of her. "Hey Twilight!" She happily said, as though nothing was wrong, "I didn't see you there!" "Pinkie!" Twilight said, till recovering, "Where did you fall from!?!" "The sky of course," Pinkie replied, "duh!" While Twilight was still trying to take in what had come out of Pinkies mouth, Pinkie Spoke up, "Enough about physics! I forgot to give you your invitation to the first annual "My Super-ific Duper-ific Blood-Sister-ific Extrafaganza-rific Party at Sugar Cube Corner" tonight! ..........ific!" "Okay," said Twilight, trying to hide her nervousness about what Pinkie could have to do with her condition today, "so where's the invitation." "Oh!" said Pinkie, as a pink unicorn filly with a blond mane and a small and stubby horn, was walking her puppy, which was an adorable and small brown and white king charles cavalier spaniel with pink bows in both it's ears, and whose little tail was wagging like crazy, "I put the invitation in my party cannon! Which should be dropping down aaaaaany secoond nooow..." Just then, just like Pinkie Pie, her patented "party cannon" fell from the same sky she did, with 1240 psi force, right on top of the puppy, blood splattering all over the filly walking it. After a few minutes of ackward silence from all three ponies, the filly screamed, "AAAAAAAAAHHH! FUZZY MITTON, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" By this time, Twilight and Pinkie were both clear out of sight. Once they were far enough away from the crime scene, Twilight and Pinkie were able to stop, behind an old alleyway. Pinkie was the first to speak up, "Golly! I really should apologize every time that happens." "Pinkie," said Twilight, "can I ask you a question," Pinkie gasped, "I love questions! Can I go first?" "Uh," said Twilight, confused, "okay..." "Would you be mad if I told you that I paid for all the party favores under your name?" "Well, yeah," said Twilight ",why?" "Nothing," said Pinkie innocently, "your turn!" "Well," Twilight said, "Pinkie, do you enjoy being, well, you?" "Do I enjoy being me?" said Pinkie "Why of course I do! I make other ponies happy, I make sugar coated treats all morning long, I can make ponies sing and dance against their will, I have an adorable pet alligator, I live with the happiest couple in Ponyville, I'm a regular babysitter for the most adorable pair of twins in Equestria, I have the ability to be any place I want at any time, I act however I want in public without people staring, my body is more indestructible than diamonds, I can eat anything I want all the time and never gain even a fraction of a pound, and, when I go to bed, the Cakes tuck me into my bed with the cosiest pair of straps you have ever seen! And even when I can't go to bed, Mrs. Cake stays up with me, and I tell her spoooooky ghost stories while she sits there drinking a bottle of tequila!" "Wow," said Twilight, dumbstruck, "that's quite the life." "Yep!" said Pinkie, "I just wish that Mrs. Cake was that happy MOST of the time." "Well, I'm going to home and get ready for tonight," said Twilight, "See you there." "Not if I see you first blood sister," Pinkie said as Twilight left for her house, "nice hair by the way! It looks somewhat familiar!" Just then, the dumpster behind Pinkie opened up to reveal Scootaloo inside looking tired. "Hey," said Scootaloo, exhausted, "can you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep." When Twilight got to her home, she stepped inside and put in the twenty-five-digit number on her alarm system. She then went upstairs to her bathroom. After showering and taking her medication, Twilight was having extreme difficulty trying to comb her mane. No matter how much she tried to straighten it out, It was just instantly inflate back to it's pinkie-like state. Frustrated, she chucked the hairbrush at the door. At that moment, Spike walked through the door. "Hey Twi-OOOF!!!" He said, getting pelted in the nose by the hairbrush. "Spike!" said Twilight, "Don't get in the way of the manebrush, you could have broken it." "Jeez, Twilight," He said, getting up and clutching his nose in pain, "are you alright?" "Of course i'm alright, Spike," Twilight said, "It's the manebrush i'm worried about." Twilight then levitated the brush back over to herself and checked it for dents of cracks. Satisfied, she put the brush down and said to Spike, "Now just think of what would have happened to us if that you had brocken my manebrush..." As she walked out of the bathroom, Spike said, looking at her mane, "I think I can see such a scenario veeeryy cllleeeearyyy..." He followed Twilight downstairs to the main room and said, "You're seriously gonna go to Pinkie's party looking like that." "I've had worse hair days," stated Twilight, thinking back to the time when Twilight and Spike were asleep, and spike sneezed in his sleep, lighting Twilight's scalp on fire, "I'm just worried I might do something out of character." "Twilight, don't you notice any sort of connection?" asked Spike. "What connection?" Twilight asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Twilight," Spike stated, "I'm not stupid, and neither are the readers. The author on the other hand is a different story. But since you've woken up, you've consumed massive amounts of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxed Sized Brayskin Robins ice cream, propelled yourself at speeds unfathomable to pony-kind, and have danced for no reason. All things Pinkie Pie would do!" "Okay," admitted Twilight, ",so I've been exhibiting Pinkie like behavior, "what's your point?" "You don't think it has anything to do with Pinkie giving you her blood does it?" Spike asked. "What are you saying, Spike," asked Twilight nervously, "That I actually AM becoming Pinkie Pie's "blood-sister"" "I didn't say blood-sister! you said blood sister!" Spike stated as matter of fact. "Spike," Twilight said reassuringly, "That sort of thing has nothing to do with one's physical, or psychological makeup. To assume that something as elementary as a blood-transfusion can change a pony to that extent is perposturous. I'm not turning into Pinkie, and her blood isn't going to do anything to make me like Pinkie. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a paaaaaar-tay to get to." She then calmly walked out the door. After she did, Spike said to himself, "Three, Two, One..." All of a sudden Twilight came running back through the door, grapping spike beggingly, with a look of paniced desparation on her face. "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GET THIS CURS'ED DEMON FLUID OUT OF MY BODY!!!" She screamed. "That's more like it," said Spike smugly. "This isn't a joke Spike! I can't spend the rest of my life being the antithesis of logic!" said Twilight, "I fucking adore logic!" "Normally I would take this time to recite you the "I'm right speech" I have spend 5 years of my life preparing," said Spike, walking toward a chest in the corner of the room, "But fortunatly for you, I forsaw this from the beggining, and I think I have an effecient solution for your humourous dilema." "Yes?" asked Twilight. "While you were at Applejack's, I took the liberty of purchasing a leech from the local petstore," Spike said opening up the chest, "with it, we should be able to suck out the Pinkie-blood from your system, and you'll be back to nor- it's dead." After a few moments of acquired silence, Twilight said with a shocked expression, "Dead!?! What the hell did you feed it?" "I just fed it what you usually feed Owlicious," Spike said, pulling out a dead mouse from the chest. "It's a shame really. I thought he'd really enjoy it. I know I do." He said, bitting the mouse head off, as Twilight watched in horror. Author's Note I know it sucks! Chapter 4Chapter 4 That night, Twilight casually trotted to Pinkies party up at sugarcube corner, her hooves still a little sore from putting on her footwear. Flashback "Okay Twilight," said Spike, brandishing a set of horsehoes in one hand, and some nails and a hamme in the other, "Are you ready?" "Just get it over with, Spike," said Twilight, levitating a folded washcloth up to her mouth and biting down on it. She was still quite concerned about what Pinkies blood might be doing to her, but she decided that for Pinkie's sake (and probably her own...) that she would try to put it out of her mind and enjoy the party. When she approached the locally famous candy store, she could see that the door was already open, so she just went inside. Once inside she found herself in an environment no one who knows Pinkie as well as she does, should be unfamiliar with. All around the place, ponies were dancing, playing charades (one pony was being a table), eating sweets, spiking the punch-bowl with hard cider, spiking the cider-bwol with whiskey, playing the knife game (If you lose, you get a bent knife), and playing everypony's favorite game, "Pin the Evidence on the Zebra." But what really caught her eye was the incredible, and ill-advised, size of the balloons. After a while, Pinkie came bouncing up to her. "Hey Twilight!" Pinkie said, "I'm glad you could make it!" "Thanks," said Twilight, "and Spike says hi." "Too bad he couldn't make it," sighed Pinkie, "Do you think he'll be okay on his own?" "I'm sure he'll be fine." answered Twilight. Meanwhile, back at the library... Alone in the tree, Spike was idly using the computer, when he clicked on something that caught his interest. Spike squinted and looked at the screen, reading aloud, "Two Fillies, One Cupcake?" After pondering over it, he simply shrugged and clicked. Back at Sugarcube Corner... "Well, come on in!" said Pinkie "we've still got plenty of cupcakes, and enough Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe sized Brayskins Robins to make a pony look like a hippo!" "Thats, good to know..." Twilight self-consiously said, remembering how she woke up this morning. "Ohh!" Shouted Pinkie, "I almost forgot! Some of the helium from the balloons over there in the corner are leaking. Think you could blow them back up real quick?" "Oh, well certainly," said Twilight, happy to find something to distract her from any stress regarding Pinkie's blood. "Super!" said Pinkie, before bouncing back into one of the larger rooms, "I'm gonna go get things ready! Be back for ya later!" Pinkie saying "get thing ready," she felt a large lump in her throat growing from anxiety, and she didn't need pinkie sense for that. she approached the first balloon with extreme caution, and carefully used her telepathy to undo the knot at the end. Once that was done, and she felt a steady rush of air blowing on to her face, she started blowing air into it. After a few seconds, she sensed that the ballon was nearing it's recommended stress limit, when she felt somepony touch her shoulder saying, "excuse me?" This caught Twilight off-guard, and caused her to loose her focus. Next thing she knew, she felt air and helium rushing into her lungs with greater force than a category-5 hurricane. In a matter of seconds, she looked almost like one of Pinkie's clones just before being summoned back to the cave. Once all the gas from the balloon was inside her, her lips were unable too keep hold of the empty balloon and it shot out. That instant, the air blasting out of her mouth went her all the way to the other end of the room, ending with a loud "BANG!!!" She was left sitting half conscious on the floor beside a cracked wall. When she shook the floating stars away from her head, she looked up to see the pony who had inadvertently caused this accident, who turned out to also be the stallion with whom she had been talking to earlier today. "Oh my go- I mean... Celestia!" he said, "are you okay?" "Yeah, I think so" said Twilight, In a high-pitched, and almost Pinkie-like voice that cause her to quickly cover her mouth with her hooves in suprise. "O-kaaaaaaaay..." said the stallion confused, before taking on a more nervous expression, "Do you know where If there's a restroom anywhere in here? Or just anyplace that can be locked from the inside?" "Yeah," said Twilight, still scared, "there should be one just down the hall to your left." "Thanks," said the stallion, marinating in his own sweat, before he took off down the hall. A few seconds later, from the other room, Twilight could hear Pinkie yelling "Hey Twilight! We're ready for you!" Still shaken by what she had just experienced, she got up and tried to to what she could to make herself somewhat presentable. She then walked into the other room, preparing herself for anything. What she saw, was a room full of ponies, surrounding a makeshift stage that looked like it was put together by Miss Cherelie's remedial class, with Pinkie Pie standing in the center. It's what was perched above the stage that caught Twilight's eye, a giant banner reading "Blod Sistarz" in mis-drawn lettering with crude drawings of Twilight and Pinkie on the sides. "There she is!" said Pinkie, "The pony of the hour! My new blood-sister, Twilight Sparkle!" Pinkie then unveiled a remote control and pressed the big red button on it, activating the speaker system and making it play applause noises. After a few seconds of hesitation Twilight slowly made her way through the crowd of ponies and up to the stage next to Pinkie. Pinkie immediatly put her arm around Twilight and said, "Tell the good ponies here your name! "Uh," Twilight said confused, "Twilight Sparkle?" "That's right!" Pinkie shouted, "and just recently, Twilight here has recently been through a rather painful accident." That was something Twilight did NOT want to be reminded of, especially now. "But that's okay!" Pinkie continued, "Because now Twilight and I share the same blood, which means we get to be best sisters-" What Pinkie said next, Twilight's brain processed in slow-motion, "foahr-ehv-our!" "It makes me so happy," Pinkie continued, "it makes me just wanna sing!" Twilight said to herself, "Oh, shi-" before being cut off by Pinkie's singing. Hey, Blood-Sister Sang to the tune of "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train Hey, hey, hey! Your massive brains, drive away all of my gloomy rains! You know I'd never forget you, And so I wen't and saved you With my blood! Your straight, striped mane, Your leadership through every Single quest or pain! I knew that I was fated, To become interrelated, With my best bud! Hey, Blood-Sister, My new sister sister, Wanna dance with me, sing with me, The way you smile fills me with glee! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! Hey, hey, hey! Just in time, I'm so glad you have A chance to be like me! You made me so excited, We'll always be united, We can't deny! I'm so obsessed, With playing with my sis With zero time for rest! I believe in you, Like the moon-god, like the sun-god, And I'll always let you know whats on my mind! Hey, Blood-Sister, My new sister sister, Wanna dance with me, sing with me, The way you smile fills me with glee! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! They way you can read a book, Watching you sleep's the only rest I need, So Twiley, Let's both hug, You're the only I understand, You see, I can be myself now finally, WIthout you staring strange at me, I wan't the world to see you sing with me! Hey, Blood-Sister, My new sister sister, Wanna dance with me, sing with me, The way you smile fills me with glee! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! Hey, hey, hey! Tonight! Hey, hey, hey! Tonight! (End of song) Twilight snapped. "Listen you little pink psychopath!" She screamed, "I am not your sister! I am nothing like you! I would never want to be ANYTHING like you! No one in Equestria would! Because you are a sugar-crazed mare-filly, who can't do a single thing right, has no inhibitions, can't comprehend even the most rudimentary concept of logic, and never says anything that even makes half --sense!" Everyone fell silent and the only sound was the sound of Twilights heavy breathing. After staring at Twilight wide-eyed, a single tear fell from her eye. Soon, her entire face started to quiver, with more tears coming down as she shakily muttered, "Bu-... I t- we-... i ju-............" Meanwhile, in Canterlot... Princess Luna was standing over her balcony, doing her nightly routine, when she heard a rather loud wailing sound coming from Ponyville. "Great..." She said, "I get to listen to this all day..." Back at Sugarcube Corner... Yet again... After a few seconds of crying, Pinkie took off to her room at lightning speed, leaving a Pinkie-shaped hole in her door. As Twilight calmed down, she took on an expression of shock and immediately regretted saying what she just said. She then slowly turned her head to the audience, all of whom were staring at her with expressions of anger and disappointment. Not knowing what to say, she simply sank her head down in shame, and slowly made her way off the stage, through the crowd of disapproving ponies, and out the door. After she was out, everyone was quiet for about 10 seconds, before Snips broke the silence "Best, Party, Ever!" He said, excitingly. A few seconds afterwards, everypony heard a huge crashing sound coming from the hallway. They turned to see a horrifying, abnormally figured, and almost pony-sized timberwolf snarling menacingly at them all. Everypony's screams of terror could be heard from outside Sugarcube corner, where Twilight was sadly walking back to her home, completely oblivious. Author's Note I think I may have reached a high-point with this chapter! Chapter 5Chapter 5 To say that Twilight hated herself was an understatement. The past few years, she had saved Equestria over 4 times, meet many strange creatures, solved many mysteries, and had made it through countless disasters. But now that she had hurt one of her best friends feelings as hard as she did, she had no idea how she was supposed to fix it. After a long and slow walk, Twilight had made it to back to her home. When she opened the door, there were very few lights on and the place looked absolutely dim. "Spike?" She called out, "I'm back." After a few seconds of silence and no sign of him anywhere, she called out again, "Where are you?" She then held out a cupcake, "I saved you a cupcake." The very next moment there was a loud "BANG" and the cupcake flew out of Twilights hoof and splattered all over the wall. After looking at the splattered remains of the cupcake, Twilight, frightened out of her mind, looked over to the corner to see a very traumatized looking Spike, sitting in a fetal position, with a shotgun aimed at her hoof. After reloading, he shakily said, "Get, that, fucking, thing, away, from, me..." "Spike," said Twilight, sternly, but still nervous, "have you been watching the Two Fillies, One Cupcake video?" "M-mabye..." he said shamefully, slowly lowering his gun. "This is exactly why I don't let you on the computer," Twilight stated, walking up to her bedroom, "I've got enough to think about right now." "What happened?" asked Spike. "Well," said Twilight, getting up on her bed, "I lost my temper with Pinkie, and I said some things to her that I didn't mean." "What kind of things?" asked Spike. "Pretty much what we were all thinking when she showed up my Uncle Sebastion's funeral," Twilight answered. "I still can't believe she thought it was a bachelor party." Spike stated Twilight then slowly turned around and moaned, "I think Pinkie Pie saving my life might have been the worst thing to ever happen to me. Every second that passes, I feel less and less like myself, and more like her. Now thanks to me, Pinkie now thinks she is a walking abomination. Why couldn't she have done what any good-hearted pony like her should do and just let me bleed to death!" In frustration, Twilight then levitated her canister of pills and threw them against the wall, causing it to spill everywhere. "Can you clean that up Spike?" Twilight asked miserably, "I don't want Owlicious to get into that and have another explosive diarrhea attack." "Im on it," said Spike, walking over to where Twilight threw the pills. When he picked up the canister, he noticed something rather odd on the printings. After taking a closer look at it, he said to Twilight, "Um, Twilight, have you read the text on this thing." "Well, no," she said, "why?" "You might wanna take look at this," answered Spike, before he tossed the container over to Twilight. When Twilight caught the container with her magic and looked closely at it, she read: "Warning: Side effects may include unusual cravings, increased adrenaline, over-exuberance, and pink-eye." "This would explain almost everything!" Spike stated. "Mabye," said Twilight, "But I haven't had any pink-eye," Right after saying that, Twilight turned back over to Spike, who jumped at the sight of her newly formed pink-eye. "You do now!" said Spike. Twilight then levitated a mirror out of her side table and looked at her self for a few seconds, schocked by her optical condition and thoroughly examing it. "Oh dear," she said, levitating the mirror back to it's resting place, "so everything that has happened this morning was all because I was too lazy to look at a warning lable..." "Well," said Spike, "that means you're not turning into Pinkie Pie! Isn't that neat?" "No Spike," stated Twilight, "all it means is that I yelled at Pinkie for no good reason, and that i'm simply a mediocre excuse for a friend..." Twilight then plopped back down onto her bed and simply stared at the ceiling in anguish. After looking at Twilight's miserable form laying on the bed for a few seconds, Spike thought for a moment, hopped up onto the bed, and sat down next to her. "Twilight," he said, "remember when I ran away?" "Huh?" asked Twilight. "Remember that time, when you had me up until 12:45 in the morning re-stacking books, I was so upset that I yelled at you, calling you an ungrateful, facist, she-witch, and that you weren't my mother and had no right to order me around, and I ran out the door, saying that I never waned to hear from you again?" "Yeah," Twilight said, remembering how angry and hurt she said when he said those things, and how she felt a large gaping hole in her heart after he shut the door, leaving her alone in the middle of her library. "Well," Spike continued, "I spent the day after living with Scootaloo in her dumpster, talking about Rainbow Dash and making balloon-animals out of disposed condoms. It seemed that I finally had the life I wanted to live. But the whole time I felt a growing feeling of emptiness, sorrow, and anxiety forming in my stomach. I didn't truly know what it was until that night when it grew so intense, it almost started to hurt a little. That's when I realized how much I missed I missed living with you, or even just being around you for that matter. I had a good cry, said my thanks to Scootaloo, telling her that instead of taking up hospitality with that pony driving that white and windowless candy-truck, I was glad to take up hospitality with her, and ran non-stop back to the library. I wasn't expecting you to take me back of course, I just really wanted to see your face at least one last time. When you answered the door, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to say, so I just stood their nervously. I felt like my organs were imploding together. After a few seconds of silence, you caught me by surprise by suddenly yanking me inside, and hugging me tighter then I had ever felt before. We simply spent the next few minutes crying into each others shoulders. I was so happy, I didn't even care that the pony who was driving the candy-truck was staring at us from outside. We didn't even say anything until the following morning." "I remember," said Twilight, in deep reminiscence. "Now let me ask you this," Spike said, "After saying all those horrible things to you, why would you take me back?" "Well" said Twilight, "Even though we have no blood relation, and I felt like my very being had been ripped out when you said that, I didn't want to lose you, and the simple thought of not seeing you again made me feel worse than any words ever could." "And I'm sure Pinkie feels the same way," said Spike reassuringly. After staring down for a few seconds, she looked up with a newfound sense of purpose on her face. "You're right, Spike," She said. Twilight then quickly hugged Spike and quickly went for the front door. "Where are you going?" Spike asked. "To fix this!" Twilight said with a sense of determination before heading out the door. A few seconds after Twilight left, Spike said to himself smugly, "I've had that speech memorized for 7 months. Totally worth it." It was a good 45 minutes into midnight when Twilight made it back to Sugar Cube Corner. She knocked on the door and waited for about 30 seconds. After receiving no answer, she knocked again, shouting "Hello?" Meanwhile inside, Mrs. Cake was sitting on the couch in a drunken daze, and completely tired out from cleaning all the blood stains from that night's timberwolf attack, holding a bottle of tequila, as she does every night, completely oblivious to Twilight's knocking. After knocking for the fifth time, Twilight lost her patience and looked up to the balcony window which she recognized as the window to Pinkie's room. She thoroughly pondered the ethics of going through another ponies window unannounced, and concluded that she may as well, since Rainbow Dash does it all the time. Pinkie was fast asleep when a mysterious and scary noise from outside her window awoke her. "Wh-who's there?" she said nervously, looking at her window. She slowly got out of bed and crept over to her window. After she slowly reached for the curtains, she quickly opened them to see a mysterious silhouetted figure, with a frightening pink eye. "AAAAAAHHH!" She screamed, "MONSTER!!!!!!!!!" She then shot up at bullet speed into the air and out of sight. Soon after, the figure slowly opened the window and crept into the room. It then started looking around the place, as though it was looking for something. Just then, it was caught off guard by Pinkie jumping from a ceiling corner with a pony-sized blanked and wrapping it in it, yelling, "GOTCHA!". The figure struggled with all it's might to et out but Pinkie held on tighter than a lasso around a bull on it's period. After a bit of thrashing, Pinkie reached for the taser on the bed-side table and tased the creature until it's form was seen shaking under the blanket. Pinkie then removed the covers to reveal Twilight Sparkle, shaking uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth. "Twilight?" she said, "What are you doing here? There's a dangerous pink-eyed monster loose in my room! It could be dangerous!" After regaining control of her motor functions, Twilight shakily got up. "Pinkie!" She said, "Why the hell do you keep a taser in your room?" "Well," said Pinkie admittedly, "Sometime's when I'm up all night eating bags of pure sugar, my heart stops. And I can't afford a defibrillator." Staring at her friend wide eyed, she quickly shook off her bewilderment and said what she had to say. "Look," Twilight said, "I just came to say, that I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said back at the party and I never should have said it, because none of it's true. You're one of the best ponies that i have ever come to know. You give happiness to just about everypony around you, and your way of seeing the world fills us all with a wonderful sense of fascination and bewilderment You may drive everypony up the wall every now and then, but that is one of your best and most defining qualities, and I wouldn't change that if my life depended on it (even though it sometimes actually does). We may not be sisters by blood, but I have always loved being around you, and just spending time with you, and I would be absolutly proud, be your sister my heart. We-" "Stop," Pinkie inturrepted, "just stop *sniff*... You had me at ''Came'" Pinkie then wrapped her hooves around Twilight and gave her a huge hug. Twilight, happy, yet somewhat confused by the statement Pinkie had just made, smiled in content. One Week Later... Things had pretty much gone back to normal (by Equestrian standards). Twilight was back to her normal self and she was siting with Pinkie at a table at Starbucks. The whole time, Pinkie was privately working on something on the table, with her head almost to her forelegs, shielding it from Twilight's sight until it was ready, as Twilight gazed curiously at what she could was up to. "Can I look now?" Twilight said. "Almost done." said Pinkie, determined. "You said that 2 hours ago," Twilight stated, "When am I gonna-" "All done!" Pinkie said cheerfully, brandishing 2 crude, homemade bracelets. Twilight took one of them and read the words on it, which barely spelled, "Heart-Sisters." "Wow," Twilight said, "This is amazing, Pinkie!" "I'm also going to make four more for the rest of us!" Pinkie said. "Well," said Twilight, "I'll treasure it always." "Thanks," said Pinkie, "So, has anyone seen the pink-eyed monster yet?" "No, Pinkie," Twilight said, humoring her friend, "I'll let you know If anyone has seen it." "Good!" said Pinkie, "You know, your cute little speech last night made me think about my life, and has inspired me to try and patch things up with my own family." "That's great!" said Twilight, "How do you plan to do that?" "Well," said Pinkie, "I've sent them a little personal message to tell them how much I love them that I think just might do the trick..." Meanwhile, at the old rock farm... Farmer Pie had just woken up in his bed with a strange sense of discomfort. Sitting up, he undid the covers of his bed, he screamed at the sight of one of his prized rocks, smashed to pieces in his bed. THE END In a quick final scene, we see Dr. Horse M.D, wearing a straight jacket, and sitting at a picnic table with Screwloose behind Sugar Cube Corner late at night reenacting the spaghetti scene from "Lady and the Tramp," with Pinkie Pie singing and Derpy Hooves playing the accordion. Written by The Psychotic Brony Author's Note Certain characters belong to Hasbro.
Chapter 1By Blood By The Psychotic Brony Chapter 1 Derpy Hooves had her work cut out for her: 50 tons of bowling balls to be delivered to the Ponyville Bowling Alley. She was half way there when she felt a feeling that she did not count on: She had to sneeze! As the feeling increased, she put more and more effort into holding the urge back, (a talent she had been working on since she got fired from the weather factory for sneezing in the rain machine and spreading pneumonia throughout Equestria). After a seemingly endless battle, her urge to sneeze just faded away. "Woohoo!" she cheered out to no one imparticular. However, after 5 seconds, followed by seeing the bag of bowling balls falling to the heavens below, she realized cheering might not have been a good idea. The last thing Twilight Sparkle remembered when waking up in the hospital bed was looking up, while on her way to the hospital to see if the doctor had something for her recent headaches, and seeing a bag with the words, "To: Big Lebowski's Bowling Alley" printed on it. After she regained a substantial amount of her senses, she noticed a brown unicorn stallion wearing a doctors uniform, holding a cane, and wih a capital H within a thin box as his cutie mark, carrying a wheel barrow with a shovel and a canister of gasoline. He then noticed she was awake. "Oh, Miss Sparkle!" He said before kicking the wheel barrow out of the room, "you're ali- I mean... awake!" "Whuhh..." Twilight muttered, "what happened?" "Now just calm down, I'm Doctor Horse," (He looks at the screen) "M.D." (looks back), "You've just suffered a minor bowling ball incident and your in the hospital." "Bowling Ball inccident?" asked Twlight. "Yes," explained Horse, "Every bone in your body was crushed by a falling sack of bowling balls" "What!?!" Twilight cried in shock, "How is that minor!?! Are they okay!?!" "Oh yes, the bowling balls are fine" said Horse, "we donated them to the children's intensive care ward." "No, I mean my bones!" Exclaimed Twilight, angrily. "Oh yes!, Your bones are fine. As soon as we stitched you're limbs back together they were quite easy to fix," said Horse. "You had to stitch me together!?!" Twilight said, very close to fainting again. "Oh it was easier than it seems," explained Horse, "The hard part has finding a bicycle pump that could unflatten you're body parts." Upon hearing that, Twilight was on the verge of passing out in her bed when Dr. Horse levitated a check board in front of him. "...And it seems that the blood transfusion was a success," he said. "Blood transfusion?" Twilight asked. "Ah yes," said Horse "You see, by our third attempt at reconstructing you, you had lost a large amount of blood..." As he was saying this a pony wearing a doctors outfit with his or her face covered walked into the room. "But we managed to find a suitable blood donor for you just in the nick of time!" finished Horse. "Who?" asked Twilight. Right after Twilight said that, the mysterious pony in the doctors outfit ripped the entire suit off, revealing herself to be none other than Pinkie Pie. Pinkie immediately screamed, "HI BLOOD SISTER!!!" scaring everyone in the room, including the elderly earth pony in the bed next to twilight, causing her to die from a heart attack. "Pinkie Pie?" said Twilight, "What are you doing here? And where did you get that doctors uniform?" "Simple! I knocked out a doctor with a baseball bat, hid her in a bush, stole her clothes, and now here I am!" Pinkie said in her typically festive tone. "Why!?!" Twilight asked, horrified. "To surprise you silly!" Pinkie responded. Before Twilight could say that she was the devil, Dr. Horse spoke up, "The only pony in Ponyville we could find with your blood type was Pinkie Pie here, and she happily volunteered herself for the blood transfusion." "Gee," said Twiight, "I don't know what to say. Thanks Pinkie." "Anything for a BLOOD SISTER!" Pinkie Exclaimed, violently hugging Twilight. "Yeah, Okay." Said Twilight, deciding to humor Pinkie. "Now about you're headaches," Dr. Horse cut in, "turns out you had a brain-devouring parasite that would've killed you in minutes," Twilight was stunned and horrified at this news "luckily it was squeezed out of your head when you were flattened." Twilight was deeply relieved, but still tense. "Any who," He said, levitating a capsul of pills over to Twilight, "you should be out of here by tomorrow. After that, for a few weeks you should get a good 12 hours of sleep a day, take two of these pills every night, and be sure to eat regularly. " A few seconds after he said that, two orderlies came into the room and said to Dr. Horse, "Hey! What are you doing out of your padded room!?!" "Good day Twilight!" Dr. Horse quickly said before jumping out of the near by window. Since she usually conducts her studies in her basement laboratory, stocked with hazardous and explosive chemicals, Twilights had the way from the hospital to her home memorized by heart (especially thanks to Pinkie Pie's inconvenient surprise visits). That night she tiredly made her way through the streets of Ponyville, with a bandage from her blood transfusion wrapped around her left hoof (which somehow hadn't healed as miraculously fast as ther limb stitches), with Pinkie Pie bouncing in tow. When they were half way through their route, Pinkie was only 1/20th of her way through talking about Twilight being her new "blood-sister." "-And then we can do each others hooves, stay up late watching scary movies, write our memoirs together, draw pictures, talk about our days! I saw a rabbit this morning! I named him sugar, because he was white! Maybe I should have named him bubbles? Because there were bubbles coming out of his mouth! I loved sitting there with him making bubbles come out of my mouth! He also had the most adorable red eyes! He looked like he had got into Spikes stash! Oh, Shoot, he told me not to tell you about that! Think he'll be mad? I should throw him an I'm sorry party! That always fixes everything! Except when my parents kicked me off the rock farm. I wonder how they're doing? I should probably write them. Except they told me never to write to them. Should I call them instead? E-mail? Lipstick on the mirror? Mabye I should-" "Pinkie!" Twilight interrupted once they had arrived at her library, "I'd love to continue this interesting conversation but I really need to get some shut eye" "Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie replied as Twilight entered her home and closed the door. As Twilight walked up the stairs to her bed she could hear her pink friend bouncing away from her house shouting "Goodnight, Blood-Sister!!!" The next morning, Twilight and her dragon assistant, Spike were going about the library doing their half-monthly re-shelving. As Twilight stood atop her ladder nestling "The Evolution of the Equestrian Plumbing System" with the rest of her extensive collection, she noticed Spike staring at her with a strange sense of curiosity. "Is something wrong, Spike?" She asked "Huh?" answered Spike, "oh, nothing! I was just... wondering is all..." "Wondering what?" asked Twilight. "What it must be like" "What what must be like?" "You know... To have the blood of Pinkamena Diane Pie flowing through your veins?" "Uuuuuhg...," Sighed Twilight, coming down from the ladder, "I already had to hear this "blood-sister" crap from Pinkie, don't you start." "I'm just sayin," Spike stated defensively, "This is Pinkie Pie's blood we are talking about! A pony who once inexplicably gained the ability to walk on water because she saw a cupcake floating in the middle of the lake. A pony who falls asleep to "Who Let the Diamond Dogs Out" at max volume every night. And, A pony who can pull a cannon, full of confetti, out of nowhere! Plus, I think her blood might be tainted with pixie-sticks!" "Spike," said Twilight reassuringly, "you're letting your imagination get the better of you. I'm fine, nothing is going to happen to me, and their is absolutly nothing wrong with Pinkie's blood." "Okay...!," replied Spike sarcasticly as he walked upstairs, "whatever you say...!" Once Spike was out of view, Twilight shrugged the conversation off and went about her re-shelving. Twilights eyes twitched open as the first signs of morning crept through her window and hit her face. She lazily slid out of her bed and quietly made her way to the bathroom, as not to wake up Spike. When she reached her sink she slowly turned on the water and splashed some in her face. As soon as she had rinsed the salt from her eyes, she looked into the mirror, but it wasn't her reflection she saw, it was Pinkies. This caused her to scream, and she continued to scream as she woke up in her bed from her nightmare, causing Spike to also wake up screaming "Oh Spike," Twilight said between breaths, "I didn't mean to wake you, I just had a nightmare." "Really? I had a nightmare too!" Spike said with angry sarcasm, "Where you caused me to wet the damn bed!" Spike then grabbed his blanket got out of his bed. "Come on Blanky...," He said walking out the door.
Chapter 2Chapter 2 The next morning, Spike was coming up the stairs from the basement, blanky in hand, and rubbing his back, which was completely out of alignment due to sleeping on the hard basement floor. When he got to the main floor he made his way to the kitchen. "Ugh...," He moaned, "my back is killing me. Nothing a little Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sized tub of Brayskin Robin's Ice Cream can't solve." As he opened the door he said to himself, "I just hope Twilight doesn- HOLY SHIT!!!" It was the sight of Twilight at the table, half-asleep, mane a complete mess, and halfway through her 38th tub of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxed-Sized tub of Brayskins Robin's Ice Cream, that made Spike jump (and also, snap his spine back into place). Quickly, he went up to Twilight and tried to get her attention. However, she was in so deep in her state between awake and asleep that she didn't respond to any of his calls or hand-gestures, and simply kept scooping up ice-cream into her mouth.. Eventually, he left the room. Seconds later he came back with a bucket full of ice-cold water and dunked it all upon Twilight, immediately snapping her out of her trance. After a few seconds of coughing and spitting, she yelled, "Spike! *phhht!* What the hell!?!" "What is this!?!" Spike replied angrily, gesturing to the 37 empty Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sized tubs of Brayskin Robin's Ice Cream piled in the corner. "Oh that..." admitted Twilight, "I got a little hungry from all those nightmares of Pinkie, so I thought I'd come down and make myself a quick late-night snack." "Uuuuhhh..." said Spike ''I'd hardly call it "Midnight.""" "What do you mean?" asked Twilight as she watched spike walk over to the closed curtains. Spike then swung the curtains open,Twilight shielded her eyes the bright morning sun shown upon her ice-cream colored face as if Celestia herself had just appeared before her. When her eyes adjusted to the light and she saw the sun clearly for the first time that day, her jaw dropped. "Spike...?" she asked nervously, "how long was I up?" "Well," Spike replied, "I can't count very well, but judging the number of bags under your eyes, I'd say you've been awake for about 8 hours." "8 HOURS!?!" replied Twilight, "Well what time is it now!?!" "8:47" said Spike. "Oh horseapples, i'm going to be late!" exclaimed Twilight. She then zoomed out of the kitchen, leaving a discarded tub of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sized Brayskin Robin's Ice Cream spinning on the table, and out the front door, at amazing speed.After she left, Spike watched from the inside of the door. "Hmmm," He said to himself, "Twilight's never run that fast before..." In a few seconds, an expression of realization came upon Spike's face and he turned his head over to Owlicious. "It's beginning..." Spike said. "Hoot-hoot-hoooooooooot..." replied Owlicious. Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was was leaning on the side of the barn waiting for Twilight to come and help her fertilize the west field. Soon, something caught her eye on one of the near fields. As she squinted on the subject, she made it out to be a bright purple blur, and it was heading straight for her! As it got closer, she slowly and nervously put herself in a protective stance. Once the blur came directly in front of her, it came to a direct halt, and revealed it to be a very out of breath Twilight Sparkle, with one peculiar feature. "I am sooooo, sorry I'm late, Applejack!" Twilight said as Applejack simply stared at her, "I didn't get much sleep, and I had very little time to get ready and-" "Uuuhh..., Twilight?" Applejack interrupted. "Yeah?" Twilight asked. "Yer hair..." Applejack said "What about it?" asked Twilight "Well, uh... How do I put this..." Applejack pondered on how to put this, reached into a pile of hay and pulled out one of the mirrors that Pinkie Pie had stashed all over Ponyville in case of "Mirror Emergency, "Take a look for yerself..." When Twilight looked in the mirror, she saw that her mane and tail had taken on Pinkie Pie's poofy shape. This caused her to scream, which in turn caused Applejack to scream, which in turn caused Granny Smith to run out of the farm house with a rifle screaming and firing a warning shot at the air, which in turn caused Twilight and Applejack to scream at her, which in turn caused Granny Smith to scream at them. A little while later, Twilight and Applejack were walking toward the west field talking. "...And now she thinks I'm her new "blood sister"" said Twilight. "Yeah, She been trottin' all 'round town since last night announcin' it to the whole of Ponyville. She's even invited everyone to a "Blood Sister" party tonight," Applejack answered. "That sounds like Pinkie," Twilight said. "Surely it can't have anything to do with this" She said, gesturing at her hair. "Ah dunno sugarcube," said Applejack, "there's only one one pony in history 'sides you and Pinkie Pie who ever ate 37 and a half tubs of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe-Sahzed Brahyskin Robin's Ahce Cream" "Really?" asked Twilight, "what happened to him?" "Grampy died" stated Applejack. "Oh my!" said Twilight. Pretty soon, the two friends had arrived at the west fields. "Welp, here we are!" said Applejack, "got the fertilizer?" "sure do!" said Twilight levitating two large sacks, "Can you believe some countries actually believe we make fertilizer "ourselves?"" "Ah mean, seriously!?!" said Applejack, "Who would start a rumor like dat?" They then looked up to the heavens for a few seconds with a look of curiosity on both their faces. Afterwards, they shook the whole subject off and went about their business. "Hokay," said Applejack, "ya'll start on dat side and ah'll start on dis side. An ya'll careful with dat fertalahzar. Fluttershy's animals worked vary hard to make dat!" "Okie-Dokie-Lokie!" said Twilight before walking off to her side of the field, leaving behind a very puzzled Applejack. After about 30 minutes of fertilizing crops and thinking about the fact that without telekinesis, Applejack has to handle the fertilizer with her mouth, boredom started to overtake her. In an effort to beat out her boredom, she started skipping. Not long after, that skipping escalated into full-out hopping, with sound effects to go with it. Pretty soon she started humming Pinkie's "Cupcake SOng". The sound of her whistling instantly gained the attention of some of the farm animals. As soon as Twilight's humming increased into loud whistling, farm animals of all sorts were following her like a marching band. Soon enough, she had started singing the song in words and the animals following her had starting their respective animal noises in sync. Applejack had just finished her side of the field and was checking up on Twilight to see what was taking her so long with her unfinished side of the field. "Hmmm, ah, wonder what's got Twilight's tail in a tangle." Applejack said to herself, "You'd think someone as organized as her would be on ti-" Applejack stopped dead at her tracks when she saw Twilight and half of the animals on the farm just finishing up a super-elaborate choreography to the "Cupcake Song" that would have normally taken 6 months to produce (or probably just 2, thanks to modern animation). Once the song was finished, and the animals went back to their normal lives, Twilight, still in her finishing pose, realized what she was doing and looked at Applejack with a confused, shocked, and anxious face, one of which Applejack returned. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Twilight spoke up. "Uhhhhhhhh...," She said, "I... gotta... go." She then rushed out of the farmlands with the same speed she had come in with, leaving a very bewildered Applejack just staring at her vapor-trail.
Chapter 3Chapter 3 Later that evening, Twilight was sitting at one of the tables outside of Starbucks, directly under the sign with a double-tailed sea pony, completely bewildered at her behavior at Sweet Apple Acres. She was talking with some random stallion who was sitting with her at the table. "So then next thing I knew," she said, "there were instrumentals coming out of nowhere, and I knew the lyrics to this random Maredonna song that I barely know the lyrics to. Since I woke up this morning, I have felt huge periods of hyper-activity, massive exuberance, large cravings, ... And I just realised that coffee isn't the best remedy for that...." "I feel like I'm turning into someone else." She continued. "I think I know what you're talking about," said the stallion, "Ever since I was attacked by thet timberwolf a few days back, i've been having nightmares of running through a dark forest and waking up with blood in mouth." "I just hope the mayor's new security measures will be enough to keep everypony safe from that mad timberwolf that has been killing ponies around 329, Bridle Street," said Twilight. "Me too," said the stallion, "That's where I live." Afterward, Twilight was walking across the street toward her home trying to put the events of earlier today out of her, when her tail started twitching uncontrollably, almost knocking her over. When she regained her balance, She looked back at her shaking appendage. When she attemped to hold it with her hooves, It quickly dodged her grasp. She then tried to catch it again and again. After a few failed attemps, she became quite annoyed, and became more persistant in her chase. Within a few seconds, she looked like a dog chasing her tail. Over at the side of the street, a colt and his mother were just staring quizzically at this strange occurrence.. "Mommy," he said pointing, "isn't that the town librarian?" HIs mother then nervously led him away. Soon, Twilight had run out of breath and gave up on her pursuit. While she was almost done catching her breath, she was caught off-guard by Pinkie Pie, Landing right on top of her. "Hey Twilight!" She happily said, as though nothing was wrong, "I didn't see you there!" "Pinkie!" Twilight said, till recovering, "Where did you fall from!?!" "The sky of course," Pinkie replied, "duh!" While Twilight was still trying to take in what had come out of Pinkies mouth, Pinkie Spoke up, "Enough about physics! I forgot to give you your invitation to the first annual "My Super-ific Duper-ific Blood-Sister-ific Extrafaganza-rific Party at Sugar Cube Corner" tonight! ..........ific!" "Okay," said Twilight, trying to hide her nervousness about what Pinkie could have to do with her condition today, "so where's the invitation." "Oh!" said Pinkie, as a pink unicorn filly with a blond mane and a small and stubby horn, was walking her puppy, which was an adorable and small brown and white king charles cavalier spaniel with pink bows in both it's ears, and whose little tail was wagging like crazy, "I put the invitation in my party cannon! Which should be dropping down aaaaaany secoond nooow..." Just then, just like Pinkie Pie, her patented "party cannon" fell from the same sky she did, with 1240 psi force, right on top of the puppy, blood splattering all over the filly walking it. After a few minutes of ackward silence from all three ponies, the filly screamed, "AAAAAAAAAHHH! FUZZY MITTON, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" By this time, Twilight and Pinkie were both clear out of sight. Once they were far enough away from the crime scene, Twilight and Pinkie were able to stop, behind an old alleyway. Pinkie was the first to speak up, "Golly! I really should apologize every time that happens." "Pinkie," said Twilight, "can I ask you a question," Pinkie gasped, "I love questions! Can I go first?" "Uh," said Twilight, confused, "okay..." "Would you be mad if I told you that I paid for all the party favores under your name?" "Well, yeah," said Twilight ",why?" "Nothing," said Pinkie innocently, "your turn!" "Well," Twilight said, "Pinkie, do you enjoy being, well, you?" "Do I enjoy being me?" said Pinkie "Why of course I do! I make other ponies happy, I make sugar coated treats all morning long, I can make ponies sing and dance against their will, I have an adorable pet alligator, I live with the happiest couple in Ponyville, I'm a regular babysitter for the most adorable pair of twins in Equestria, I have the ability to be any place I want at any time, I act however I want in public without people staring, my body is more indestructible than diamonds, I can eat anything I want all the time and never gain even a fraction of a pound, and, when I go to bed, the Cakes tuck me into my bed with the cosiest pair of straps you have ever seen! And even when I can't go to bed, Mrs. Cake stays up with me, and I tell her spoooooky ghost stories while she sits there drinking a bottle of tequila!" "Wow," said Twilight, dumbstruck, "that's quite the life." "Yep!" said Pinkie, "I just wish that Mrs. Cake was that happy MOST of the time." "Well, I'm going to home and get ready for tonight," said Twilight, "See you there." "Not if I see you first blood sister," Pinkie said as Twilight left for her house, "nice hair by the way! It looks somewhat familiar!" Just then, the dumpster behind Pinkie opened up to reveal Scootaloo inside looking tired. "Hey," said Scootaloo, exhausted, "can you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep." When Twilight got to her home, she stepped inside and put in the twenty-five-digit number on her alarm system. She then went upstairs to her bathroom. After showering and taking her medication, Twilight was having extreme difficulty trying to comb her mane. No matter how much she tried to straighten it out, It was just instantly inflate back to it's pinkie-like state. Frustrated, she chucked the hairbrush at the door. At that moment, Spike walked through the door. "Hey Twi-OOOF!!!" He said, getting pelted in the nose by the hairbrush. "Spike!" said Twilight, "Don't get in the way of the manebrush, you could have broken it." "Jeez, Twilight," He said, getting up and clutching his nose in pain, "are you alright?" "Of course i'm alright, Spike," Twilight said, "It's the manebrush i'm worried about." Twilight then levitated the brush back over to herself and checked it for dents of cracks. Satisfied, she put the brush down and said to Spike, "Now just think of what would have happened to us if that you had brocken my manebrush..." As she walked out of the bathroom, Spike said, looking at her mane, "I think I can see such a scenario veeeryy cllleeeearyyy..." He followed Twilight downstairs to the main room and said, "You're seriously gonna go to Pinkie's party looking like that." "I've had worse hair days," stated Twilight, thinking back to the time when Twilight and Spike were asleep, and spike sneezed in his sleep, lighting Twilight's scalp on fire, "I'm just worried I might do something out of character." "Twilight, don't you notice any sort of connection?" asked Spike. "What connection?" Twilight asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Twilight," Spike stated, "I'm not stupid, and neither are the readers. The author on the other hand is a different story. But since you've woken up, you've consumed massive amounts of Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxed Sized Brayskin Robins ice cream, propelled yourself at speeds unfathomable to pony-kind, and have danced for no reason. All things Pinkie Pie would do!" "Okay," admitted Twilight, ",so I've been exhibiting Pinkie like behavior, "what's your point?" "You don't think it has anything to do with Pinkie giving you her blood does it?" Spike asked. "What are you saying, Spike," asked Twilight nervously, "That I actually AM becoming Pinkie Pie's "blood-sister"" "I didn't say blood-sister! you said blood sister!" Spike stated as matter of fact. "Spike," Twilight said reassuringly, "That sort of thing has nothing to do with one's physical, or psychological makeup. To assume that something as elementary as a blood-transfusion can change a pony to that extent is perposturous. I'm not turning into Pinkie, and her blood isn't going to do anything to make me like Pinkie. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a paaaaaar-tay to get to." She then calmly walked out the door. After she did, Spike said to himself, "Three, Two, One..." All of a sudden Twilight came running back through the door, grapping spike beggingly, with a look of paniced desparation on her face. "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GET THIS CURS'ED DEMON FLUID OUT OF MY BODY!!!" She screamed. "That's more like it," said Spike smugly. "This isn't a joke Spike! I can't spend the rest of my life being the antithesis of logic!" said Twilight, "I fucking adore logic!" "Normally I would take this time to recite you the "I'm right speech" I have spend 5 years of my life preparing," said Spike, walking toward a chest in the corner of the room, "But fortunatly for you, I forsaw this from the beggining, and I think I have an effecient solution for your humourous dilema." "Yes?" asked Twilight. "While you were at Applejack's, I took the liberty of purchasing a leech from the local petstore," Spike said opening up the chest, "with it, we should be able to suck out the Pinkie-blood from your system, and you'll be back to nor- it's dead." After a few moments of acquired silence, Twilight said with a shocked expression, "Dead!?! What the hell did you feed it?" "I just fed it what you usually feed Owlicious," Spike said, pulling out a dead mouse from the chest. "It's a shame really. I thought he'd really enjoy it. I know I do." He said, bitting the mouse head off, as Twilight watched in horror. Author's Note I know it sucks!
Chapter 4Chapter 4 That night, Twilight casually trotted to Pinkies party up at sugarcube corner, her hooves still a little sore from putting on her footwear. Flashback "Okay Twilight," said Spike, brandishing a set of horsehoes in one hand, and some nails and a hamme in the other, "Are you ready?" "Just get it over with, Spike," said Twilight, levitating a folded washcloth up to her mouth and biting down on it. She was still quite concerned about what Pinkies blood might be doing to her, but she decided that for Pinkie's sake (and probably her own...) that she would try to put it out of her mind and enjoy the party. When she approached the locally famous candy store, she could see that the door was already open, so she just went inside. Once inside she found herself in an environment no one who knows Pinkie as well as she does, should be unfamiliar with. All around the place, ponies were dancing, playing charades (one pony was being a table), eating sweets, spiking the punch-bowl with hard cider, spiking the cider-bwol with whiskey, playing the knife game (If you lose, you get a bent knife), and playing everypony's favorite game, "Pin the Evidence on the Zebra." But what really caught her eye was the incredible, and ill-advised, size of the balloons. After a while, Pinkie came bouncing up to her. "Hey Twilight!" Pinkie said, "I'm glad you could make it!" "Thanks," said Twilight, "and Spike says hi." "Too bad he couldn't make it," sighed Pinkie, "Do you think he'll be okay on his own?" "I'm sure he'll be fine." answered Twilight. Meanwhile, back at the library... Alone in the tree, Spike was idly using the computer, when he clicked on something that caught his interest. Spike squinted and looked at the screen, reading aloud, "Two Fillies, One Cupcake?" After pondering over it, he simply shrugged and clicked. Back at Sugarcube Corner... "Well, come on in!" said Pinkie "we've still got plenty of cupcakes, and enough Super-Mega-Ultra-Deluxe sized Brayskins Robins to make a pony look like a hippo!" "Thats, good to know..." Twilight self-consiously said, remembering how she woke up this morning. "Ohh!" Shouted Pinkie, "I almost forgot! Some of the helium from the balloons over there in the corner are leaking. Think you could blow them back up real quick?" "Oh, well certainly," said Twilight, happy to find something to distract her from any stress regarding Pinkie's blood. "Super!" said Pinkie, before bouncing back into one of the larger rooms, "I'm gonna go get things ready! Be back for ya later!" Pinkie saying "get thing ready," she felt a large lump in her throat growing from anxiety, and she didn't need pinkie sense for that. she approached the first balloon with extreme caution, and carefully used her telepathy to undo the knot at the end. Once that was done, and she felt a steady rush of air blowing on to her face, she started blowing air into it. After a few seconds, she sensed that the ballon was nearing it's recommended stress limit, when she felt somepony touch her shoulder saying, "excuse me?" This caught Twilight off-guard, and caused her to loose her focus. Next thing she knew, she felt air and helium rushing into her lungs with greater force than a category-5 hurricane. In a matter of seconds, she looked almost like one of Pinkie's clones just before being summoned back to the cave. Once all the gas from the balloon was inside her, her lips were unable too keep hold of the empty balloon and it shot out. That instant, the air blasting out of her mouth went her all the way to the other end of the room, ending with a loud "BANG!!!" She was left sitting half conscious on the floor beside a cracked wall. When she shook the floating stars away from her head, she looked up to see the pony who had inadvertently caused this accident, who turned out to also be the stallion with whom she had been talking to earlier today. "Oh my go- I mean... Celestia!" he said, "are you okay?" "Yeah, I think so" said Twilight, In a high-pitched, and almost Pinkie-like voice that cause her to quickly cover her mouth with her hooves in suprise. "O-kaaaaaaaay..." said the stallion confused, before taking on a more nervous expression, "Do you know where If there's a restroom anywhere in here? Or just anyplace that can be locked from the inside?" "Yeah," said Twilight, still scared, "there should be one just down the hall to your left." "Thanks," said the stallion, marinating in his own sweat, before he took off down the hall. A few seconds later, from the other room, Twilight could hear Pinkie yelling "Hey Twilight! We're ready for you!" Still shaken by what she had just experienced, she got up and tried to to what she could to make herself somewhat presentable. She then walked into the other room, preparing herself for anything. What she saw, was a room full of ponies, surrounding a makeshift stage that looked like it was put together by Miss Cherelie's remedial class, with Pinkie Pie standing in the center. It's what was perched above the stage that caught Twilight's eye, a giant banner reading "Blod Sistarz" in mis-drawn lettering with crude drawings of Twilight and Pinkie on the sides. "There she is!" said Pinkie, "The pony of the hour! My new blood-sister, Twilight Sparkle!" Pinkie then unveiled a remote control and pressed the big red button on it, activating the speaker system and making it play applause noises. After a few seconds of hesitation Twilight slowly made her way through the crowd of ponies and up to the stage next to Pinkie. Pinkie immediatly put her arm around Twilight and said, "Tell the good ponies here your name! "Uh," Twilight said confused, "Twilight Sparkle?" "That's right!" Pinkie shouted, "and just recently, Twilight here has recently been through a rather painful accident." That was something Twilight did NOT want to be reminded of, especially now. "But that's okay!" Pinkie continued, "Because now Twilight and I share the same blood, which means we get to be best sisters-" What Pinkie said next, Twilight's brain processed in slow-motion, "foahr-ehv-our!" "It makes me so happy," Pinkie continued, "it makes me just wanna sing!" Twilight said to herself, "Oh, shi-" before being cut off by Pinkie's singing. Hey, Blood-Sister Sang to the tune of "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train Hey, hey, hey! Your massive brains, drive away all of my gloomy rains! You know I'd never forget you, And so I wen't and saved you With my blood! Your straight, striped mane, Your leadership through every Single quest or pain! I knew that I was fated, To become interrelated, With my best bud! Hey, Blood-Sister, My new sister sister, Wanna dance with me, sing with me, The way you smile fills me with glee! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! Hey, hey, hey! Just in time, I'm so glad you have A chance to be like me! You made me so excited, We'll always be united, We can't deny! I'm so obsessed, With playing with my sis With zero time for rest! I believe in you, Like the moon-god, like the sun-god, And I'll always let you know whats on my mind! Hey, Blood-Sister, My new sister sister, Wanna dance with me, sing with me, The way you smile fills me with glee! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! They way you can read a book, Watching you sleep's the only rest I need, So Twiley, Let's both hug, You're the only I understand, You see, I can be myself now finally, WIthout you staring strange at me, I wan't the world to see you sing with me! Hey, Blood-Sister, My new sister sister, Wanna dance with me, sing with me, The way you smile fills me with glee! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! Hey, Blood-Sister, I don't wanna miss A single day with you, Tonight! Hey, hey, hey! Tonight! Hey, hey, hey! Tonight! (End of song) Twilight snapped. "Listen you little pink psychopath!" She screamed, "I am not your sister! I am nothing like you! I would never want to be ANYTHING like you! No one in Equestria would! Because you are a sugar-crazed mare-filly, who can't do a single thing right, has no inhibitions, can't comprehend even the most rudimentary concept of logic, and never says anything that even makes half --sense!" Everyone fell silent and the only sound was the sound of Twilights heavy breathing. After staring at Twilight wide-eyed, a single tear fell from her eye. Soon, her entire face started to quiver, with more tears coming down as she shakily muttered, "Bu-... I t- we-... i ju-............" Meanwhile, in Canterlot... Princess Luna was standing over her balcony, doing her nightly routine, when she heard a rather loud wailing sound coming from Ponyville. "Great..." She said, "I get to listen to this all day..." Back at Sugarcube Corner... Yet again... After a few seconds of crying, Pinkie took off to her room at lightning speed, leaving a Pinkie-shaped hole in her door. As Twilight calmed down, she took on an expression of shock and immediately regretted saying what she just said. She then slowly turned her head to the audience, all of whom were staring at her with expressions of anger and disappointment. Not knowing what to say, she simply sank her head down in shame, and slowly made her way off the stage, through the crowd of disapproving ponies, and out the door. After she was out, everyone was quiet for about 10 seconds, before Snips broke the silence "Best, Party, Ever!" He said, excitingly. A few seconds afterwards, everypony heard a huge crashing sound coming from the hallway. They turned to see a horrifying, abnormally figured, and almost pony-sized timberwolf snarling menacingly at them all. Everypony's screams of terror could be heard from outside Sugarcube corner, where Twilight was sadly walking back to her home, completely oblivious. Author's Note I think I may have reached a high-point with this chapter!
Chapter 5Chapter 5 To say that Twilight hated herself was an understatement. The past few years, she had saved Equestria over 4 times, meet many strange creatures, solved many mysteries, and had made it through countless disasters. But now that she had hurt one of her best friends feelings as hard as she did, she had no idea how she was supposed to fix it. After a long and slow walk, Twilight had made it to back to her home. When she opened the door, there were very few lights on and the place looked absolutely dim. "Spike?" She called out, "I'm back." After a few seconds of silence and no sign of him anywhere, she called out again, "Where are you?" She then held out a cupcake, "I saved you a cupcake." The very next moment there was a loud "BANG" and the cupcake flew out of Twilights hoof and splattered all over the wall. After looking at the splattered remains of the cupcake, Twilight, frightened out of her mind, looked over to the corner to see a very traumatized looking Spike, sitting in a fetal position, with a shotgun aimed at her hoof. After reloading, he shakily said, "Get, that, fucking, thing, away, from, me..." "Spike," said Twilight, sternly, but still nervous, "have you been watching the Two Fillies, One Cupcake video?" "M-mabye..." he said shamefully, slowly lowering his gun. "This is exactly why I don't let you on the computer," Twilight stated, walking up to her bedroom, "I've got enough to think about right now." "What happened?" asked Spike. "Well," said Twilight, getting up on her bed, "I lost my temper with Pinkie, and I said some things to her that I didn't mean." "What kind of things?" asked Spike. "Pretty much what we were all thinking when she showed up my Uncle Sebastion's funeral," Twilight answered. "I still can't believe she thought it was a bachelor party." Spike stated Twilight then slowly turned around and moaned, "I think Pinkie Pie saving my life might have been the worst thing to ever happen to me. Every second that passes, I feel less and less like myself, and more like her. Now thanks to me, Pinkie now thinks she is a walking abomination. Why couldn't she have done what any good-hearted pony like her should do and just let me bleed to death!" In frustration, Twilight then levitated her canister of pills and threw them against the wall, causing it to spill everywhere. "Can you clean that up Spike?" Twilight asked miserably, "I don't want Owlicious to get into that and have another explosive diarrhea attack." "Im on it," said Spike, walking over to where Twilight threw the pills. When he picked up the canister, he noticed something rather odd on the printings. After taking a closer look at it, he said to Twilight, "Um, Twilight, have you read the text on this thing." "Well, no," she said, "why?" "You might wanna take look at this," answered Spike, before he tossed the container over to Twilight. When Twilight caught the container with her magic and looked closely at it, she read: "Warning: Side effects may include unusual cravings, increased adrenaline, over-exuberance, and pink-eye." "This would explain almost everything!" Spike stated. "Mabye," said Twilight, "But I haven't had any pink-eye," Right after saying that, Twilight turned back over to Spike, who jumped at the sight of her newly formed pink-eye. "You do now!" said Spike. Twilight then levitated a mirror out of her side table and looked at her self for a few seconds, schocked by her optical condition and thoroughly examing it. "Oh dear," she said, levitating the mirror back to it's resting place, "so everything that has happened this morning was all because I was too lazy to look at a warning lable..." "Well," said Spike, "that means you're not turning into Pinkie Pie! Isn't that neat?" "No Spike," stated Twilight, "all it means is that I yelled at Pinkie for no good reason, and that i'm simply a mediocre excuse for a friend..." Twilight then plopped back down onto her bed and simply stared at the ceiling in anguish. After looking at Twilight's miserable form laying on the bed for a few seconds, Spike thought for a moment, hopped up onto the bed, and sat down next to her. "Twilight," he said, "remember when I ran away?" "Huh?" asked Twilight. "Remember that time, when you had me up until 12:45 in the morning re-stacking books, I was so upset that I yelled at you, calling you an ungrateful, facist, she-witch, and that you weren't my mother and had no right to order me around, and I ran out the door, saying that I never waned to hear from you again?" "Yeah," Twilight said, remembering how angry and hurt she said when he said those things, and how she felt a large gaping hole in her heart after he shut the door, leaving her alone in the middle of her library. "Well," Spike continued, "I spent the day after living with Scootaloo in her dumpster, talking about Rainbow Dash and making balloon-animals out of disposed condoms. It seemed that I finally had the life I wanted to live. But the whole time I felt a growing feeling of emptiness, sorrow, and anxiety forming in my stomach. I didn't truly know what it was until that night when it grew so intense, it almost started to hurt a little. That's when I realized how much I missed I missed living with you, or even just being around you for that matter. I had a good cry, said my thanks to Scootaloo, telling her that instead of taking up hospitality with that pony driving that white and windowless candy-truck, I was glad to take up hospitality with her, and ran non-stop back to the library. I wasn't expecting you to take me back of course, I just really wanted to see your face at least one last time. When you answered the door, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to say, so I just stood their nervously. I felt like my organs were imploding together. After a few seconds of silence, you caught me by surprise by suddenly yanking me inside, and hugging me tighter then I had ever felt before. We simply spent the next few minutes crying into each others shoulders. I was so happy, I didn't even care that the pony who was driving the candy-truck was staring at us from outside. We didn't even say anything until the following morning." "I remember," said Twilight, in deep reminiscence. "Now let me ask you this," Spike said, "After saying all those horrible things to you, why would you take me back?" "Well" said Twilight, "Even though we have no blood relation, and I felt like my very being had been ripped out when you said that, I didn't want to lose you, and the simple thought of not seeing you again made me feel worse than any words ever could." "And I'm sure Pinkie feels the same way," said Spike reassuringly. After staring down for a few seconds, she looked up with a newfound sense of purpose on her face. "You're right, Spike," She said. Twilight then quickly hugged Spike and quickly went for the front door. "Where are you going?" Spike asked. "To fix this!" Twilight said with a sense of determination before heading out the door. A few seconds after Twilight left, Spike said to himself smugly, "I've had that speech memorized for 7 months. Totally worth it." It was a good 45 minutes into midnight when Twilight made it back to Sugar Cube Corner. She knocked on the door and waited for about 30 seconds. After receiving no answer, she knocked again, shouting "Hello?" Meanwhile inside, Mrs. Cake was sitting on the couch in a drunken daze, and completely tired out from cleaning all the blood stains from that night's timberwolf attack, holding a bottle of tequila, as she does every night, completely oblivious to Twilight's knocking. After knocking for the fifth time, Twilight lost her patience and looked up to the balcony window which she recognized as the window to Pinkie's room. She thoroughly pondered the ethics of going through another ponies window unannounced, and concluded that she may as well, since Rainbow Dash does it all the time. Pinkie was fast asleep when a mysterious and scary noise from outside her window awoke her. "Wh-who's there?" she said nervously, looking at her window. She slowly got out of bed and crept over to her window. After she slowly reached for the curtains, she quickly opened them to see a mysterious silhouetted figure, with a frightening pink eye. "AAAAAAHHH!" She screamed, "MONSTER!!!!!!!!!" She then shot up at bullet speed into the air and out of sight. Soon after, the figure slowly opened the window and crept into the room. It then started looking around the place, as though it was looking for something. Just then, it was caught off guard by Pinkie jumping from a ceiling corner with a pony-sized blanked and wrapping it in it, yelling, "GOTCHA!". The figure struggled with all it's might to et out but Pinkie held on tighter than a lasso around a bull on it's period. After a bit of thrashing, Pinkie reached for the taser on the bed-side table and tased the creature until it's form was seen shaking under the blanket. Pinkie then removed the covers to reveal Twilight Sparkle, shaking uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth. "Twilight?" she said, "What are you doing here? There's a dangerous pink-eyed monster loose in my room! It could be dangerous!" After regaining control of her motor functions, Twilight shakily got up. "Pinkie!" She said, "Why the hell do you keep a taser in your room?" "Well," said Pinkie admittedly, "Sometime's when I'm up all night eating bags of pure sugar, my heart stops. And I can't afford a defibrillator." Staring at her friend wide eyed, she quickly shook off her bewilderment and said what she had to say. "Look," Twilight said, "I just came to say, that I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said back at the party and I never should have said it, because none of it's true. You're one of the best ponies that i have ever come to know. You give happiness to just about everypony around you, and your way of seeing the world fills us all with a wonderful sense of fascination and bewilderment You may drive everypony up the wall every now and then, but that is one of your best and most defining qualities, and I wouldn't change that if my life depended on it (even though it sometimes actually does). We may not be sisters by blood, but I have always loved being around you, and just spending time with you, and I would be absolutly proud, be your sister my heart. We-" "Stop," Pinkie inturrepted, "just stop *sniff*... You had me at ''Came'" Pinkie then wrapped her hooves around Twilight and gave her a huge hug. Twilight, happy, yet somewhat confused by the statement Pinkie had just made, smiled in content. One Week Later... Things had pretty much gone back to normal (by Equestrian standards). Twilight was back to her normal self and she was siting with Pinkie at a table at Starbucks. The whole time, Pinkie was privately working on something on the table, with her head almost to her forelegs, shielding it from Twilight's sight until it was ready, as Twilight gazed curiously at what she could was up to. "Can I look now?" Twilight said. "Almost done." said Pinkie, determined. "You said that 2 hours ago," Twilight stated, "When am I gonna-" "All done!" Pinkie said cheerfully, brandishing 2 crude, homemade bracelets. Twilight took one of them and read the words on it, which barely spelled, "Heart-Sisters." "Wow," Twilight said, "This is amazing, Pinkie!" "I'm also going to make four more for the rest of us!" Pinkie said. "Well," said Twilight, "I'll treasure it always." "Thanks," said Pinkie, "So, has anyone seen the pink-eyed monster yet?" "No, Pinkie," Twilight said, humoring her friend, "I'll let you know If anyone has seen it." "Good!" said Pinkie, "You know, your cute little speech last night made me think about my life, and has inspired me to try and patch things up with my own family." "That's great!" said Twilight, "How do you plan to do that?" "Well," said Pinkie, "I've sent them a little personal message to tell them how much I love them that I think just might do the trick..." Meanwhile, at the old rock farm... Farmer Pie had just woken up in his bed with a strange sense of discomfort. Sitting up, he undid the covers of his bed, he screamed at the sight of one of his prized rocks, smashed to pieces in his bed. THE END In a quick final scene, we see Dr. Horse M.D, wearing a straight jacket, and sitting at a picnic table with Screwloose behind Sugar Cube Corner late at night reenacting the spaghetti scene from "Lady and the Tramp," with Pinkie Pie singing and Derpy Hooves playing the accordion. Written by The Psychotic Brony Author's Note Certain characters belong to Hasbro.
