It had been so cold in the ACME warehouse. Squeaky the Shoe had spent half his life there, ever since he’d lost his pair. He was just a lone right cartoon shoe, useless and alone in the world, abandoned to spend eternity in a packing crate.
But something had happened. Some wonderful miracle. Awaking from his slumber underneath a pile of packing peanuts, he heard the warehouse full of voices! All around him was the sound of boxes being opened, contents spilled out. Light cracked into his wooden tomb as hands tore open his prison and tumbled him onto the floor.
Squeaky blinked his big round eyes as he took in the scene. Lights! Lights everywhere! And people! All in police uniforms – had they come to rescue him? Tears streaming down his eyes he hopped towards the most important looking figure in the room to thank him for saving his life. It was obvious who the boss was, a tall gaunt man dressed all in black with circular dark shades and a large brimmed hat. What a lovely man!
“Squeak!” Squeaky launched himself towards the man’s black shoes, tears of joy falling from his eyes as he rubbed himself against the man’s leg. “Squeak! Squeak!” He shook with happiness and relief as he praised his saviour.
His heart leapt as the man reached down with a large rubber-gloved hand to pick him up. Perhaps Squeaky the Shoe was going to get a kiss? Squeaky puckered up his lips and squeaked in joy. The man just dangled him in the air for a moment, before striding over to the back of a large van.
One of the policemen in the warehouse called Squeaky’s new friend ‘Judge Doom’. Squeaky squeaked hello to his rescuer as Judge Doom started talking about giving Squeaky a bath. Squeaky had been so long in his box he knew he must be pretty dirty.
Judge Doom threw open the lid of a barrel and said something about a “Turpentine, acetone and benzene dip.” Squeaky had never heard of those things before, but he was a shoe, not an expert in cleaning products. The insides of the barrel looked green and bubbly, but this was obviously some new soap to help the judge to lovingly clean Squeaky.
“Squeak squeak!” Squeaky squeaked happily as the nice judge started to push him into the barrel. Immediately he knew something was wrong. The liquid bubbled and frothed violently around him, burning agony shooting through his little body as his ink lines lost coherence. He tried to squeak in horror, but when he opened his mouth more of the ooze flowed in, choking him. His tears of happiness turned to tears of agony as he liquefied in that goo, Judge Doom’s gloved hand forcing him into the liquid, forcing him to watch as his bright happy colours flowed into the murky water and his body melted like Swiss cheese.
With last squeak of agony, Squeaky the Shoe dissolved into nothingness; the last he saw was the face of the cruel Judge Doom looming above him. And then there was nothing.
***
“Hey! Hey! What are you?”
Squeaky blinked open his eyes in shock, the blurry images resolving themselves. He wasn’t dead. Or was he? He found himself lying in a patch of brightly coloured grass, the sky a perfect cartoon blue above him. Was it all a dream? Was he still in Toontown?
“Hey!”
Squeaky found himself lifted into the air by a green… arm? Hoof? He blinked. In front of him was a smiling green pony. He flinched back in terror in case this was another trick, squeaking in fear as he tried to hop away.
The grip of the pony’s hoof was surprisingly strong, and Squeaky found himself unable to break free. “Squeak!” he cried, tears pouring down his laces as he flailed around in panic. “Squeak! Squeak! Squeaaaak!”
“Oh!” The pony carefully placed Squeaky down, watching as he tried to hop away. “No, wait! I won’t hurt you!” She trotted in a circle around him, heading the errant shoe off. “Are you from around here? I’ve not seen anything like you before! My name’s Lyra, what’s yours?”
Squeaky stopped trying to escape, instead just quivering below Lyra’s gaze. Finally, he responded. “Squeak,” he replied with a nervous quiver. “Squeak, squeak squeak, squeak! Squeak!”
“Aw, you’re so cute!” Before Squeaky could react, he was scooped up by the pony and hugged close to her chest. His struggling subsided as he rested against the pony’s warm fur, feeling her heart thumping against him.
“S-s-squeak?” he shakily whispered, feeling tears welling up again. “S-squeak?”
Lyra pulled him away, staring at him with her large, warm eyes. “Look at you, you’re so frightened! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you! You’ll never have to worry ever again!”
***
Lyra’s house wasn’t anything special, but after the day’s traumatic events it was the most wonderful place Squeaky had ever been. The pony was as good as her word, washing him in a soapy bath (though she did have to climb in first to reassure the poor little shoe) before polishing his tongue and rubbing Brasso on his eyelets.
The two soon lay in front of a roaring fire, Lyra curled around Squeaky as he revelled in the warmth. Lyra had placed a small saucer of milk in front of him; Squeaky was a shoe and so didn’t drink milk, but he lapped at it with his tongue anyway.
“You are such a lovely little shoe!” Lyra snuggled into Squeaky, rubbing her nose against him as he squeakily purred. “You can live here forever with me if you want. I can make up a basket, and we can go on walks and to the pictures, and I can take you down the shops and you can meet other shoes!”
“Squeak!” Squeaky wept with happiness as he pressed himself into the warm fur of his new best friend, expressing his love in the only way he could. “Squeak! Squeak!”
“Lyra! Did you get the milk?”
A voice called out as the front door opened, and Lyra’s head shot up in alarm. “Oh! Oh no!” She looked back down at the saucer of milk in front of Squeaky. “I gave you the last of the milk!” As the new arrival, a yellow pony with curly pink blue hair trotted in, Lyra leapt to her feet. “Bon-Bon!” she called, pointing at Squeaky. “This is Squeaky, my new friend! He’s an anamorphic shoe from another dimension, and he’s going to live with us! Also I need to get milk, look after him!”
Bon Bon rolled her eyes as Lyra raced out of the house before the shops shut. “Sure, Lyra, whatever!”
Squeaky blinked up at the new arrival, lapping at his milk slightly. “Squeak?” he offered.
“Oh, look at you!” Bon Bon’s dismissive expression changed to one of delight as she saw Squeaky properly for the first time. “What a lovely little shoe!”
“Squeak!” Squeaky hopped towards his new friend, rubbing himself against her hoof. “Squeak, squeak, squeak!”
Bon Bon smiled as she gently picked Squeaky up and carried him to the kitchen. “Oh, don’t worry, Lyra won’t be that long! Perhaps we can give you a little bath so you’re extra clean and smart for her when she comes back!”
“Squeak squeak!” Squeaky chirped as Bon Bon placed him on the kitchen table and pulled out a tub full of sloshing warm liquid. “Squeak, squeak squeak!” He let himself smile as Bon Bon carefully lifted him over the tub, eyelids drooping in bliss as he got ready to dip in the bath.
“It’s odd,” Bon Bon lowered Squeaky into the steaming tub. “But it seems the first batch only sent Toons to Equestria.” Her spare forehoof reached across her face and pulled back the fur like a mask, revealing the cruel bespectacled visage of Judge Doom, black hat perched atop his head as the fake mane fell away. “Of course, with my new Dip, there won’t be any such drawbacks!”
Squeaky flailed as ‘Bon Bon’s’ hoof pushed him into the tub full of yellowish green liquid. “Squeak!” he screamed in horror as he touched the liquid, instantly melting into a mixture of coloured inks. “Squeeeeeak!”
With last squeak of agony, Squeaky the Shoe dissolved into nothingness; the last he saw was the face of the cruel Judge Doom looming above him. And then there was nothing.
Author's Note
So, Who Framed Roger Rabbit was on tv today!
[11:52 AM] Midnight SleighBells: I want a fanfic where the boot appears in Equestria, and gets taken in by Lyra and loved forever and ever :(
MERRY CHRISTMAS MIDNIGHT SHADOW!
