Tales from Beyond the Fun- The Musical

The song is “Derp Face” by Parry Gripp

The assembled ponies awaited the next singer with baited breath- who could possibly follow that?!?

As if in answer to their (mostly) unasked question, a brown stallion with a dark brown mane quickly ran onto the stage. A large hourglass covered his flanks and he wore a collar and bowtie. He stood on his hind legs and pointed the other two at Vinyl. “Hit it!” he yelled and spun around. As he faced back towards the crowd, he pulled at the ends of his bowtie.

The music began playing- the light strumming of a bass with drums almost overwhelming it. Much of the music was a repeated beat on a tom- it sounded almost like clapping. He smiled and began singing to the light, upbeat music.

“Derp Face, Derp Face I love you.” His song was quick and happy, very different from Derpy’s song. Ponies began gushing over the first few lines as he said them- this had to be the mysterious ‘Doctor’ she was always speaking of; everyone had assumed he was just a product of the ruined mind of the lonely, handicapped mare. After her performance though, everyone was rethinking what they ‘knew’ about the mailmare.

“Your eyes are all googly and your face is askew.” He winked at the grey pegasus being bounced by the crowd as she murdered muffin after muffin, their fluffy, innocent lives being ripped into warm, sweet chunks by her unforgiving hooves. The crowd instantly began moving her towards the stage.

As she reached it, he picked up an electric guitar from next to one of the speakers and began playing it- its sounds melding perfectly with the song. “With your knick-knack-doodle-wack lopsided smile, Derp Face, Derp Face, you’re just my style!” She was now standing next to him, her face coloured by a deep flush. Unsure what to do, she sat on the stage, partially hiding her head behind her hooves, but still looking up at the stallion that meant so much to her.

“Herp-derp!” With each word he stomped a hoof on the stage and a firework shot out from behind it. “Derp derpy-derp derp!” He now slid out of the strap of the guitar, though he continued playing for a moment. “Derp derp derpidy, derp derp derp derp!”

Throwing the guitar to the side, he seized Derpy by the hooves and began dancing with her, swinging his legs wildly in what some in the crowd assumed was the ‘swing dancing’ Derpy had once claimed he taught her- they always thought that she was having a seizure or something. The music switched to an even happier sounding style. The sounds of the guitar continued, arousing some suspicion until they saw that Vinyl had caught it and was now playing as her rear hooves fiddled with keys on her soundboard. What sounded like a mix between a buzzing noise and a keyboard was now mixed in with the guitar- the clapping-like drum sounds still sounded behind the music, now carried on by the crowd.

The music returned to how it had been and the Doctor swirled Derpy into him. “Herp-derp, herp-derp Derpy Doo,” he continued singing. He leaned in close to the grey mare. “Derp Face, Derp Face, I~ love you!” The song ended as his head shot forward, his lips meeting with the giggling pegasus. Derpy froze momentarily before raising a hoof to his cheek and leaning into the kiss. The crowd cheered and someone in the middle whistled. Somehow, this strange stallion had managed to top the amazing performance put on by the towns, now, beloved mailmare.

A weird humming noise filled the air, seeming to grate across the sound waves. A blue glow appeared around the two on stage and, with a clap of the Doctor’s hooves, a large blue box took the two ponies’ place. Just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished with the same whirring noise, leaving the stage completely empty.

The crowd was stunned into silence at the dramatic exit. Someone near the back began stomping their hooves together and, after a slight delay, the entire congregation was cheering and stomping.

“Wow,” said Pinkie. She had left the crowd surfing during the song and was now standing off to the side where Applejack was selling cider. “I didn’t know he had it in him.”

“Neither did I,” the Doctor responded. He was leaning against the stand like Pinkie was. Applejack, busy cheering for the song, was startled by his sudden appearance.

“How didja- I mean- where? How in tarnation didja get off that stage and back here so quickly?”

“TARDIS,” Pinkie responded.

“Tar-what?” Applejack had no idea what was going on. The Doctor moved to explain but Pinkie just shook her head quickly, cutting him off.

“So,” said Pinkie, a mischievous smile on her face, “did you two come straight back here?”

“In a manner of speaking.” The brown stallion gulped down a mug of cider and trotted off.